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At fourteen, Dazai is the one to find Chuuya after the lab explosion.
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He watches Chuuya fall asleep, slow and soft, in small bits. He is so beautiful, and he is mine. All mine.
I am the first person he smiled at.
I am the first person who said his name.
I am the first person who has held him like this.
He is mine. He will always be mine now, after these things.
Dazai thinks, for a moment, that he might not ever get to feel things, or see the world the way most people do, or find a reason to live. But he can live for this, for him. For this boy. He does not care about birds or parks or trees or people, does not feel all that much when he sees the sunrise or sunset or the stars and the moon. He does not like dogs or children. He does not like the world.
But he likes Chuuya. He likes the way Chuuya looks when he is looking at all these things.
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Bookmark Notes:
Perfect. Simply perfect.
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