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Remus was one of the only constants in his life. It had always been that way, too. He remembers bits and pieces of B.R. (Before Remus) but his memories only became fully formed visions once Remus entered the picture. Maybe it was just because it lined up with the age that people normally start remembering their childhood. It was also his first year at Hogwarts, but Sirius was convinced it was because of Remus.
Everything was because of Remus, if he was being honest. Sirius would do anything his Moony asked him to do. From passing the salt to hiding a body, Sirius wouldn't even bat an eye.
James was the only person to call him out on it. The first time was the spring they were 14 and Sirius was pulling out the snacks he had nicked from the kitchens. The side table in their dormitory had all of Remus' favourites.
"Why do you only ever bring Moony's picks?" James had whined. No one else was there yet, Peter and Remus were finishing up in the library.
"What d'you mean?" Sirius asked, arranging the various sweets on the table.
"Whenever I put in requests you never get them. But Merlin forbid Moony goes without his pick."
"It's not my fault you always pick the things that no one else likes. I'm not going to go through the trouble of getting something just for you."
“But you’ll find something just for him?”
“Prongs -“
The first time it was innocent enough. It still made Sirius think about his feelings towards Remus though. Did he really only grab Remus' favourites?
The second time was a couple weeks later, everyone settling in the common room after a long day of exam prep. Remus had offhandedly mentioned that he was thirsty and Sirius quickly declared that he was getting up anyway and could grab Remus a glass of water if he wanted.
James had given him a pointed look and mimed using a whip. Sirius gave him the finger.
It only got worse as they got older, but eventually, it stopped being a big deal. It was just how Sirius and Remus worked.
When they were in their 20s and James wanted to move out of their cramped apartment into a new, more appropriately sized one with Lily, Peter had decided then was the perfect time to announce his own relationship that the rest of the Marauders had been oblivious to.
"If we're splitting up then I might as well move in with her. She's been pestering me for a while."
Sirius was gobsmacked. He had never once thought about parting with the Marauders. Why would he want to move out? His closest friends were just outside his bedroom door, why would he purposefully put himself in a situation where he had to take the tube just to hang out? The dangers of apparating? Pay for a Floo connection? Come on, now.
A few weeks later, James and Peter were living out of boxes and Sirius and Remus had started looking at smaller apartments since the two of them wouldn't be able to afford this one anymore. That, and Sirius didn't think he'd be able to walk past James' empty room without feeling a little pang of sadness. He didn't tell James that though.
"Don't you think it's funny," James had said one afternoon when it was just him and Sirius in the living room. "That Wormy and I are moving in with our girlfriends and you and Moony are staying together?"
Sirius had been fighting against his brain to not think about that, actually. "It's 'cause we're both single and can't afford to live on our own," he replied too quickly to be casual. "No need to rub it in my face."
Sirius had discovered a year into living with the Marauders that he had a crush on Remus. All it took was one morning when Remus was eating breakfast, his hair sticking to one side after falling asleep while it was still wet. He was so sleepy he missed his mouth while eating breakfast and spilled a spoonful of milk and cereal onto the table. For whatever reason, that's what flipped the switch.
Before, his wanks had featured an unidentifiable blur of muscles, but after that morning, the blur became his closest friend and he came harder than he ever had to an imaginary Remus telling him, in his deep, crumbly voice, that he was being such a good boy.
It was that moment when Sirius realized he was utterly fucked.
The worst part was that he and Remus had already had their first kiss. Merlin, Sirius would do anything to redo that moment.
They were 18 and had just moved into their new apartment, the same one Remus would spill his cereal in just 11 months later. The four of them were coasting on a high no amount of weed could compare to. Their first apartment, free of parents, professors.
Naturally, the first thing they did was throw a party.
The apartment was already small enough as it is, but packed full with their extended friend group and some pretty girls they had met while moving in made it feel that much more intimate. Each room was full of dancing bodies. Remus was in charge of the tunes and Sirius needed him to play a song that had been stuck in his head all day.
Pushing through the crowd of people in the living room, Sirius spotted Remus in the far corner, a red solo cup in his hand, head tilted back in one of his full belly laughs. Sirius felt something twinge in the pit of his stomach, a feeling he couldn't yet put a name to.
"Pads!" Remus exclaimed when Sirius had gotten close enough to join in the conversation Remus was already a part of. Sirius loved drunk Remus. He was always so animated and excited about anything and everything.
"Moony!" Sirius said, mirroring Remus' excitement.
"Pleeeeeaaaaaase tell me you have some spliff on you," Remus begged, turning away from the (very pretty) girl he had been talking to.
Sirius chuckled and gave the front pocket of his jeans a pat. "I may or may not have gotten some off Jamie earlier."
Remus groaned in pleasure, tilting his head back. Sirius didn't often buy weed from Jamie, a casual friend from their Hogwarts days, because of how fucking divine it was. He wanted to keep it for special occasions. That, and if he exclusively smoked Jamie's weed his tolerance would be absolutely fucked and he did not want to have to spend more money than he had to.
"Fuck, I love you, mate. I could kiss you." Remus moaned.
Sirius barked out a laugh. "What's stopping you, hmm?"
He meant it as a joke. He even struck a pose. He didn't think that Remus would cock his head to the side, give it a little think, and then put his (large) hands on both sides of Sirius' face and pull him in.
Sirius was too shocked to even close his eyes, let alone return the pressure. It was wet and he could still feel Remus on his lips when he pulled away. Remus had a funny look in his eyes. Sirius stayed frozen. He hated how smug Remus looked.
"C'mon, this weed isn't gonna smoke itself," Remus said, giving Sirius' ass a smack as he passed, pushing his way to the fire escape.
And that was it.
They never addressed it, it never happened again. Although, that might have been in part because Sirius has been known to drunkenly kiss his male friends at parties. But this one was different. Remus was the one who kissed him. To be fair, Sirius himself hadn't really thought about it, it wasn't much of a kiss to fantasize about. But after the cereal incident, Sirius couldn't stop thinking about it.
He had imagined a million different ways the night could have gone if he had been prepared for the kiss. His favourite was the one that started with him pulling Remus back in and ended with them naked and sated in his bed.
Unfortunately, years passed and Sirius' fantasy had remained such.
Their friendship continued to flourish, James continued to tease Sirius, Peter continued to roll his eyes, and Remus... well, Remus continued to be a mystery.
Contrary to popular belief, Sirius was atrocious at knowing when someone was flirting with him. He was a massive flirt himself and could tell when the vibes he put out were reciprocated, but unless he was directly being propositioned, Sirius was oblivious. The thing was, he knew this flaw. And he hated it. Fuck, how he hated it. The amount of times in their youth that James or Remus (Merlin save him the times it was Peter) would come up to him and tell him that he was "fumbling the bag big time" with a girl and have that be the cue that he was being flirted with. So needless to say, he had no idea what was going on in Remus' head.
They had always been rather physical in their friendship, always pressed as close as they could be when sharing a sofa, always being the ones to share a bed when there weren't enough for everyone. This sort of intimacy had already been built into their friendship, and when all else failed, Sirius relied on physical cues to clue him in if the person he was interested in felt the same. Should he just be on the lookout for the times when Remus was extra touchy?
In the end, Sirius had to turn to James.
"Give me a moment," James said, closing his eyes and raising his open palms to the sky. "I have to take this in. Sirius Black coming to me for relationship advice."
"Oh, fuck off."
James ignored Sirius and took a deep breath before lowering his hands. "Ok. Let's hear it."
"IhavethebiggestcrushonMoonyandidon'tknowhowtotellifhelikesmeback," Sirius said quickly.
James opened his eyes. "Please repeat what you just said but 100 times slower."
Sirius groaned, embarrassed that he had to repeat his secret, wishing he could relay this information via telepathic thought. "I have the biggest crush on Moony -"
"I KNEW IT!"
"Fuck's sake," Sirius sighed. "I don't know how to tell if he likes me back and since you and Lily started off sort of in the same way..." Sirius trailed off.
"You decided to come to me for advice." James supplied.
Sirius nodded his head.
"While I now understand why you have come to me, it doesn't diminish the honour."
Sirius rolled his eyes. "Are you going to help me or not?"
James smiled. "I have been waiting for the two of you to pull your heads out of your asses since we were 16! Of course I will help you put your other head in each other's asses," his smile turned into a shit-eating grin, as if he had been waiting to make that joke for years. Knowing James, he probably had.
Sirius put his head in his hands and groaned.
"Ok, ok, sorry, I'll stop."
They were sitting in the living room of the apartment that they were all soon to be leaving. Remus and Peter were both out so Sirius took this as his only opportunity to openly talk with James.
"Has he done anything to make you think that he might be interested?" James asked, his tone calm, calculated.
Sirius was about to say that that was the whole point - he wasn't sure, until he remembered the kiss.
James' eyes went wide and he blinked a few times before responding. "Ok. Well, that's a good sign."
"But that was ages ago and we were both drunk!"
"It at least means that he's not against kissing blokes. And the fact that he took the initiative. Has anything happened since?" James asked.
Sirius shook his head. "We haven't even talked about it."
James hummed in acknowledgement. "Ok, I see the predicament."
Eventually, they came to the conclusion that if Sirius was too anxious to face his feelings head-on, the next best thing would be to throw a party. Fortunately, Goodbye Apartment 4B was the perfect excuse.
One week later, the apartment was packed once again. Sirius bought the fancy cigs Remus liked to smoke but could never justify buying and once he was a few drinks in, he decided now was the time. He looked over at James who was standing nearby and he and Lily wished Sirius good luck with a thumbs up.
Sirius made his way to the kitchen where Remus was, rummaging through the cabinets. When he got close enough, Remus turned around, as if sensing his presence, and broke out into a huge grin. "I was looking for you!" he said.
"In the kitchen cabinets?" Sirius laughed. "Think I'm too big to live in a cupboard, mate."
"I dunno, you are pocket-sized," Remus teased, putting his hand on his head and then reaching it out over Sirius' head, pointing out their height difference.
"And to think I was about to offer you a smoke," Sirius quipped. He didn't often think about his height difference with Remus, but when he did it was when he was alone in bed. He fished the cigarette out of his chest pocket, and watched as Remus recognized the distinct colouring of his favourite brand.
Remus' eyes rolled back and Sirius had flashbacks to the night of their first kiss. "Fuck, ok I'm sorry, I take it back, please forgive me."
Sirius rolled his eyes and cocked his head in the direction of the fire escape. "C'mon."
The pair pushed their way through the people crowding their apartment, eventually finding themselves on the fire escape. It was the middle of June, the lovely temperature and fresh air was much appreciated. They had both grabbed jackets before coming out but quickly ditched them into the corner.
The fire escape had become Sirius and Remus' smoking spot as the apartment didn't have a balcony and James had a strict no-smoking-in-the-house rule.
Sirius pulled the cigarette out of his pocket again Remus fished around his own for a lighter. He had only brought one and hoped that Remus wouldn't read into it too much. At least not right away. They sat down beside each other at the top of the ladder going down, their legs bumping together as they dangled.
Remus let Sirius do the honours of lighting up and Sirius tried not to think too hard about how Remus' fingers felt when they touched as he passed Sirius the neon yellow lighter.
After the cig made its way back to Sirius, he broke the comfortable silence. "I'm gonna miss this place." He took a drag.
Remus nodded. "Feels weird, splitting up the Marauders."
"I feel like they'll still crash at ours every weekend," Sirius said with a chuckle and passed the cigarette back to Remus.
Remus accepted and hummed in agreement. "Ours," he echoed.
Sirius laughed. "Yeah, ours. You're not thinking of leaving me are you?" He was trying to joke and hoped it didn't show that he was freaking out on the inside.
"No no no," Remus was quick to correct him and Sirius was thankful. "It's just... nice."
Sirius wasn't sure what Remus meant by that but Remus took another drag and didn't elaborate. "4B's been a real one though," Sirius said.
"So many memories, fuck," Remus said, laughing to himself. He offered the cigarette back to Sirius who gratefully took it, needing something to do with his hands if he was going to follow through on James' advice.
"Do you have a favourite?" Sirius asked, and most definitely did not miss the fact that Remus blushed.
"A couple," he answered, mysteriously.
"Feel like sharing with the class?" Sirius asked and passed what little was left of the cigarette to Remus.
"Lost my virginity in there," Remus said casually before inhaling.
Sirius' eyes went wide. "You WHAT?!" Remus chuckled and didn't offer any follow up information. "What about Laura?" Sirius was referring to Remus' most recent girlfriend. And by recent he meant that they had broken up a couple months before they all moved into the apartment. As far as Sirius knew Remus hadn't dated anyone since. When Remus didn't answer, Sirius continued. "Who, then? I haven't seen you bring a girl back here... like..." Sirius thought about it for a moment. "Ever! I don't think I've ever seen you bring one back!"
Remus silently took another pull and Sirius came to an earth shattering realization.
"Holy fuck."
Remus was a quiet guy. A man of few words unless you got him excited. So while Sirius was used to shrugs being Remus' default response, he wasn't going to take that as an answer this time.
"Why didn't you tell me you're gay?" Sirius was slightly offended. While he has always been very open about his attraction to anything that moves, he did understand the hesitancy. But this was Remus. Moony. One of his closest friends in the entire world. They told each other everything.
"Bi, actually." Remus supplied, taking a look at the end of the cigarette, trying to decide if it was dead or not. It was. Sirius stayed silent, hoping that this would motivate Remus to elaborate. "I dunno, it just, didn't seem like it was relevant."
Sirius blinked. "Moony, the amount of things you've shared with me that have most definitely not been relevant or even necessary is astronomical." This got a smile out of Remus.
"Nervous, I guess," Remus muttered. If Sirius wasn't fluent in Remus Mumbles he would have missed it. "It's different, telling your mates. James only knew -"
"YOU TOLD PRONGS BEFORE ME!?"
Remus sighed, he was a little red. "I didn't... tell him. He sorta, well," Remus cleared his throat awkwardly. "Walked into it... so to speak."
Sirius' jaw dropped. This was not how he pictured the night going. "THAT feels like a story you would have told me."
Remus was back to shrugging. This new information had Sirius feeling bold.
"Was it before or after you kissed me?"
Remus picked at a loose thread from the rip in his jeans. "Because."
"Because what?"
Remus was red. "No, it uh," he scratched at the back of his neck as he spoke, still not meeting Sirius' eyes. "It was, um, because of the kiss."
Sirius stopped working. Holy fuck. Holy FUCK. He wanted to make a witty remark, something about him being Remus' queer awakening, but he couldn't make his brain communicate with his mouth.
Instead, he went with, "You slept with someone... because you kissed me?"
Remus kept picking at the thread. "I just... I wanted to see if kissing boys - men - always felt like that. Or if..." he let the sentence hang, unfinished. Sirius could fill in the blanks. If it was just you.
"And did it?" Sirius found himself asking.
This made Remus' head snap up and he finally looked at Sirius. After a beat, he shook his head. And his eyes flicked down to Sirius' lips.
Sirius could feel his heartbeat in his throat. He let his thigh inch closer to Remus'. He didn't remember much of the details of their first kiss, as much as he tried. Part of that was because he was too shocked to fully understand it was happening. It had gotten to the point where he couldn't remember what had actually happened or what his mind had filled in, wanting to be what happened.
"I wish I had kissed you back."
Sirius could feel the shift in Remus' confidence after he revealed that. Before, Remus' energy was very confessional. Anxious. Worried he was overstepping. Now a smirk was playing on his lips. Lips that he ran his tongue over before responding. "Yeah?"
Sirius hummed. "Yeah," he breathed, his eyes lingering on Remus' lips.
"If I kissed you again would you-"
Sirius didn't let Remus finish, instead grabbing Remus' face, much like what had been done to him all those years ago, and smashed their lips together.
It was frantic. Remus' arms reached out for Sirius almost instantly. Sirius carded his fingers through Remus' hair and Remus tightened his hands on Sirius' waist. It was sloppy. Remus introduced his tongue and Sirius moaned at the feeling.
"Fuck," Remus groaned into Sirius' mouth.
Sirius pulled away and loved the way Remus chased after his lips. "I would very much like to continue this without fearing for my life," he said, motioning to the open space in front of them with his head. Remus' eyes were hooded and he was a little flushed. Sirius knew he probably looked the same.
"Yeah, no, yeah. Ok. Yes." Remus agreed with too many words, nodding his head the whole time. Sirius stood up and extended his hand to help Remus up. Remus took his hand, stood up and spun them around so fast Sirius wasn't entirely sure what had happened. He could feel the brick wall of their apartment building against his back and Remus' hands trailing up and down his sides. Remus surged forward in another kiss.
Sirius' head started spinning when he felt Remus press his crotch against him. Remus was hard.
Sirius moaned and wrapped his arms around Remus' neck, pulling him closer. Usually, Sirius found himself arguing the truth of his height, stating hard that no, he was taller than James. But being caged against the wall by Remus' broad frame, feeling his large hands play with the hem of his shirt? Sirius was weak. He felt small. And for once, he found himself loving it.
"We should go inside," Sirius said into Remus' mouth.
"We should," Remus agreed, moving his lips across Sirius' jaw, below his ear, down his neck.
Sirius was starting to strain against his jeans. "Moony, please." he whined. He wasn't sure what he was asking for, he just knew he needed Remus to do something. Go inside, take him right there, something.
"That looks painful," Remus said, ignoring Sirius' plea. He trailed a single finger lightly across the very clear bulge in Sirius' jeans. Sirius' hips bucked involuntarily at the contact. He whined. Apparently, that was the only sound he was capable of making at the moment.
Remus didn't seem to be complaining though. "Mm, it is, huh?" His voice had a slight patronizing edge to it that was making Sirius' brain melt. He nodded his head vigorously, words feeling too complicated to form. Remus added a little more pressure to his finger that was still resting against Sirius' bulge.
Sirius' brain was short circuiting. Sure, he had always found Remus' voice attractive. Noticed that while he had some introverted tendencies, he had a powerful presence, oozed confidence with an ease Sirius had never mastered. But to have a front row seat to dominant Remus? That was something else entirely. Sirius' resolve was very quickly fading away. He had gotten too used to Imaginary Remus, too used to the conversations in his head. Real Remus wasn't following the script Sirius was used to.
"What do you want?" Remus asked, his eyes flicking up to meet Sirius'. He spoke slow and soft, letting his own desire peek through.
Sirius opened his mouth to answer, and closed it, unable to come up with an answer. Everything, was what he wanted to say. Do anything you want and I'll say thank you.
"Come on, use your words," Remus tutted, tucking a strand of hair behind Sirius' ear.
"I want -" Sirius started, stuttering when Remus' hand started moving from behind his ear, down the side of neck. It trailed down his chest, feathering over his nipple through the fabric of his shirt. His other hand, the one previously on Sirius' crotch, moved instead to his waistband, and hooked a finger into a belt loop.
"Yes?" Remus asked, the smug bastard smiling in a way that told Sirius Remus knew what he was doing and was loving every second of it.
"I want you to touch me," Sirius settled with. It in no way captured what he actually wanted, but it was close enough, he figured.
"I thought you said we should go inside?"
"Moony,"
"Aren't I already toughing you?"
"You know what I mean," Sirius tried to say, but it was getting increasingly harder to form coherent sentences, let alone thoughts, with Remus' teasing touches.
"I don't think that I do," Remus smiled that stupid, knowing smile again.
"Moony, please," Sirius wasn't happy that he was resorting to begging this early. He was still fully clothed for fuck's sake!
"I don't know what you're asking me for, love," Sirius shivered at the pet name. "I would very much like to take these off though," Remus added, giving a tug on the belt loop on Sirius' jeans he was toying with. "But I should probably wait until we're inside, hm?"
Sirius hated how desperate he already was. This wasn't part of his plan. He was supposed to be the one seducing Remus! Making Remus so hot and bothered to the point he couldn't control himself. He wasn’t supposed to be actually considering doing this on the fucking fire escape.
"I suppose I don't have to take them all the way off, just enough to -"
"Please, yes, please," He was already so far gone. He could still make out the bass of whatever song was playing inside, hear the buzz of conversation, muffled as it passed through the glass of the covered window to the other side of the door back inside.
Remus made slow work of undoing Sirius' jeans and when he pulled them down just far enough to give Sirius some relief, Remus went with them, sinking down to his knees. "This more what you had in mind?" Remus asked, nosing the hard outline of Sirius' cock in his underwear. Sirius made a sound that was closer to a whine than he would have liked and nodded his head quickly. "Yeah, I thought so," Remus teased, opening his mouth to follow the curve of Sirius.
In his defence, it had been a while since he had been with someone. Even longer since he'd had someone so willing to give him head. Overwhelmed, and needing something to ground him, Sirius reached out and gripped Remus' hair. It was short, but still gave him enough to hang onto. He was equally as pleased when Remus hummed in appreciation.
Remus licked a stripe up Sirius, leaving a damp trail across his underwear. Sirius felt his knees buckle slightly at the sensation. Unfortunately, Remus also clocked it. "Someone's pretty pent-up," Remus said, his lips against Sirius' head.
"It's... been a while," Sirius breathed.
"Mmm, I can tell," Remus chuckled. He trailed his lips across the outline of the bulge in Sirius' underwear. At the same time, he hooked his fingers under the waistband and gave it a quick snap when he let go.
"Please," Sirius found himself saying again. He had lost count of how many times the word had left his lips.
"Begging already, before I've even asked," Remus said, slowly, slowly, starting to pull Sirius' underwear down.
"I, uh, I," Sirius tried to respond but got distracted by Remus' fingers passing over the skin of his thighs as he pulled the fabric of his underwear down.
"Yes?" Remus asked, Sirius thankful that he kept going and didn't pause again. Sirius felt like his skin was on fire, he could map out exactly where Remus' skin touched his, he could feel it linger.
Remus licked a stripe up the underside of Sirius' cock when he didn't answer, as if that would help make a single thought form and not empty his brain again. There was a small breeze, cool air brushing against the trail of saliva Remus had left behind. Sirius suddenly remembered where they were and his grip tightened in Remus' hair. "Moony, we're outside."
"Very good!" Remus praised. Sarcasm coated his words but they still made Sirius' knees weak.
"Moony, literally everyone we know is inside, what if they come out? Fuck, what if a neighbour takes the rubbish out and looks up?" Sirius was starting to panic. He wanted to move inside for privacy but... he didn't hate the rush that the fear of getting caught was giving him.
"We'll just have to give them a good show then, yeah?" Remus said, poking his tongue out to lick at Sirius' tip.
Sirius nearly keeled over when Remus let the tip of his cock push past his lips. He tightened his grip on Remus' hair again, making him moan around Sirius.
"Fuck, yes," Sirius moaned, tipping his head back against the wall. He willed himself not to think about someone coming outside. The door opened outside so if it started to open all he would have to do was kick his foot to the side to block it. Easy enough. Plan now secured, he let himself get lost in the feeling of Remus.
This was probably the best blowjob he had ever gotten. Somehow Remus was able to tell exactly what Sirius needed. Where to pay the most attention, when to add more pressure, when to take him so deep he bumped the back of his throat. The amount of time since he had last been with someone was starting to catch up to him and he could feel his insides constricting.
"Moony, Moony, Moony," Sirius rushed out, pulling Remus off him.
"Everything ok?" Remus asked, concern laced his slightly hoarse voice. The physical tell of what they have been doing made Sirius' cock give a weak twitch.
"I was gonna cum," Sirius explained, catching his breath. "And I don't - not yet."
Remus smirked. "Not yet? Something else you want to do before that?"
"Get over here," Sirius said, pulling Remus by the hair and smashing their mouths together again. Remus smiled into the kiss and Sirius loved the feeling.
While their tongues met, Sirius reached between the two of them to pull at Remus' jeans, making quick work of the button, stumbling with the zipper, groaning when he pulled them down at the same time as Remus' underwear, and gasping when their bare cocks pressed against each other.
Sirius' eyes were closed but he could still tell that Remus was much bigger than he was. He wrapped a hand around both of them and started stroking them together. Remus bit down on Sirius' bottom lip. "Fuck, yeah, just like that," he moaned, slightly breaking the kiss, pressing his forehead against Sirius'.
Sirius opened his eyes to see Remus already had and was staring down at their cocks pumping in and out of Sirius' hand. Sirius was right. Remus was bigger. Like, a lot bigger. Remus swore again and Sirius tightened his grip. His mouth was watering, he wanted to tase Remus so badly.
"Oh, fuck," Remus moaned when Sirius voiced his desires. "Yeah, you can. Fuck, get on your knees."
Despite Sirius being the one to ask for it, Remus' voice, telling him what to do, sparked something inside of him and he dropped to his knees without a second thought. Remus smiled, something knowing behind those eyes. Sirius could tell that Remus was learning quickly the way that he liked to be treated.
"Good boy," Remus said, brushing the fallen strands of hair out of Sirius' face. He pulled his hair back as if to tie it all into a ponytail but used his fist instead of an elastic. Sirius was so so pliant. His mouth fell open, as if by its own command.
Sirius stayed on his knees, mouth open, looking up at Remus. His tongue loosened and he let it extend lazily out of his mouth. Remus gripped his own cock and gave Sirius' tongue a couple slaps.
"Fuuuck," Remus moaned. His eyelids drooped, as if he wanted to close his eyes but didn't want to miss out on a second of seeing Sirius like this. Sirius was torn between wanting to take control and show Remus just how good he was at giving head or giving in and letting Remus use his mouth like the fuck toy he was slowly, but surely, becoming.
"You want this so bad, I can tell," Remus said. Sirius nodded his head quickly, desperately.
Remus didn't end up getting to make the decision, instead, "Can I fuck your mouth?" Remus asked, his deep voice straight out of Sirius' imagination.
"Please," Sirius answered, once again begging without being asked.
"Let me know if it's too much," Remus groaned and pushed his cock against Sirius' tongue, up into his mouth. Sirius widened his jaw, relaxed his body. He shut off every thought that wasn't Remus Remus Remus.
He let Remus use his mouth, moaning when the speed picked up and he couldn't help the steady stream of drool coming from the side of his mouth. Sirius wasn't sure if he had ever blown, let alone seen a cock as big as Remus'. His eyes all but rolled back when Remus pulled out of his mouth and wiped up the drool around Sirius' mouth with the tip of his cock before pushing right back in.
Remus' grip on Sirius' hair tightened. He stopped thrusting, instead pulling Sirius' head onto his cock. Sirius was in heaven. Once again, he and Remus were on the same page. Sirius knew he could let his guard down and completely submit to the other boy. It had been a while since he had been able to be this comfortable with someone - actually, he wasn’t sure if he had ever been able to be this comfortable. The realization came with both a rush of feelings he could deal with later and a twitch to his dick.
Sirius let his jaw relax and lazily flicked his eyes up to meet Remus’. His brows were furrowed, he was concentrating hard. On what, Sirius wasn’t sure. Holding back? He desperately wanted Remus to let go but his jaw was beginning to ache, along with a different part of his body.
Remus made eye contact with Sirius and groaned. "Fuck, you look so good right now," he said, tightening his grip on Sirius' hair. After a pointed thrust that hit the back of Sirius' throat, making him gag slightly, Remus pulled Sirius off his cock and pulled Sirius up by the hair until he was standing. Remus violently crashed his mouth against Sirius', who went limp upon the impact. His body sagged against Remus' as their tongues melded. They pulled apart with a wet smack.
"Do you want to go inside to finish this?" Remus asked, licking Sirius's saliva off his own lips. His eyes were hooded, his voice breathy. Sirius didn't have to look down to know how turned on Remus was right now.
Sirius frantically shook his head. "Fuck, Merlin no, I don't think I could last that long," Even just thinking about having to make the walk through the apartment into one of their bedrooms seemed like it would take far too much time. Knowing their luck they would probably be stopped by someone completely oblivious to the dire situation that was Sirius' need for Remus to be inside him.
"So you want to stay out here then?" Remus asked, beginning to trail wet open-mouthed kisses across Sirius' jaw. When he reached Sirius' ear he bit down lightly on his earlobe. "You want me to fuck you out here?" He breathed into Sirius' ear. Sirius' knees twitched at the question and he reached behind him to grab hold of the rail to balance himself. Remus breathed out a chuckle and tightened his grip on Sirius' waist. "I need you to say it, love."
Sirius wanted to think critically about this. Getting caught giving Remus a blowjob was totally different than getting caught with Remus' cock in his arse. As good as that would feel, though. Oh, it would feel so good. Sirius' jaw was already hurting, he could only imagine what that stretch of his hole would feel like. Fuck.
"Please," Sirius panted, closing his eyes, unable to look Remus in the eye.
"Please what?" Remus teased, playfully nipping at Sirius' neck.
Sirius rolled his eyes. "You can't be making me beg this early."
Remus kept trailing kisses down Sirius' neck. "You've already been doing that, love," he laughed lightly against Remus' skin. "What if I just want to hear you say it?"
"Then try harder," Sirius quipped.
"Oh?" Remus stunned, pulling back to look Sirius in the face. "Is that how you want to play it?"
Sirius was filled with a newfound sense of confidence, egging Remus on was more fun than he thought. He shrugged his shoulders, "Earn it."
This as it turned out was a good answer, as Remus grabbed the back of Sirius' neck and forced their lips together. Both their cocks were still out, needy and leaking against each other. All thoughts were leaving Sirius' brain again, blinded by his desire to be filled by Remus. He was just debating giving into this desire and beg Remus to fuck him, when his thoughts were pleasantly, deliciously, interrupted.
"Fuck, I need you," Remus said wetly into Sirius' mouth. "Please let me fuck you."
Sirius was too stunned to speak. Part of his brain wanted to come up with a witty remark about the tables turning, or look who's begging now? but the bigger part, the part controlling his actions, turned around and pressed his bare ass up against Remus' cock, with only a "Please," falling from his lips.
He heard Remus curse from behind him, and then the press of him was gone. Sirius waited patiently as he heard Remus fumble around with their pile of jackets. Was he looking for lube? Did Remus carry around sachets of lube in his jacket pocket? This was a whole new side of Moony that Sirius wasn't expecting.
As it turned out, Remus was not searching for lube in his jacket, and instead it was something even more unexpected. He heard Remus mutter something and then all of a sudden, his insides contracted, and he could feel a warm wetness inside and against his hole where Remus started rubbing his finger. Sirius was having a hard time wrapping his head around the fact that the man that he had assumed to be straight up until tonight knew a fucking prepping spell. Oh, this was going to be good.
"Who taught you that?" Sirius moaned as Remus pushed his teasing finger in to test his handiwork.
Remus hummed, decidedly happy with the results of his spell. "A friend," he answered, vaguely.
Sirius didn't have time to respond with words, instead a moan was ripped from his throat as he felt the blunt tip of Remus' cock press up against his hole.
"Still good?" Remus asked, tracing his cock up Sirius' crack.
Sirius frantically nodded his head. "Yeah, yes, please, inside me now."
Consent acquired, Remus began pressing into Sirius. Sirius' mouth fell open at the stretch and he let his forehead rest against the brick wall of their apartment building. The physical reminder that they were outside making his dick twitch in anticipation.
Remus continued to press into Sirius, his grip on Sirius' hip tightening with every inch.
"Fuck, you're so tight, am I hurting you?" Remus asked, lust coating his words.
"No, no, Merlin, no. It feels so good, you feel so good," Sirius rambled. He still couldn't believe this was actually happening.
"You're taking me so well, fuck," Remus groaned as he bottomed out, his hips pressed flush against Sirius' ass. Sirius bit down on his lip to hold in his moans as best as he could, adjusting to the size of Remus now that he was fully inside.
"Can I move now or-" Remus started.
"Fuck, please, yes," Sirius spilled, desperate for the feeling of Remus thrusting.
Remus started at a slow, agonizing pace, dragging his cock in and out of Sirius, pulling out until the catch of his tip, and pressing all the way back in.
Sirius made a choked out sound and pressed his hands against the wall, using his strength to push back against Remus. "Faster, please," he moaned.
Remus wasted no time in following his instructions. Maybe he had heard the desperation in Sirius' voice, or maybe he was feeling the same way, but he went from a sensual slow, to a demanding fast.
"Oh fuck, oh fuck," Sirius moaned, getting lost in the feeling of Remus.
Remus tightened his grip on Sirius' hips, pulling him to meet his thrusts. "Fuck, baby," he groaned, the pet name shooting straight to Sirius' cock. It was followed by a pointed thrust to his prostate and Sirius cried out in pleasure. "There it is," Remus cooed, keeping the same angle with his thrusts.
"Fu-ck," Sirius swore, the word a choked out whine. He had the feeling that Remus would be a good fuck, but he wasn't prepared for just how good he was going to be.
Remus grabbed a fist full of Sirius' hair and pulled his head back. Sirius' back arched as he leaned in for a sideways messy kiss. Remus kept up his thrusts and broke the kiss to trail his mouth along Sirius' neck. Sirius continued to meet Remus' thrusts but his knees buckled when Remus bit down hard at the base of his neck where it joined with his shoulder. He heard a growl of, "Mine," against his skin and whatever remaining brain cells he had turned to mush.
"Yours, yours, yours, yours," he babbled, reaching down to touch his neglected cock.
"Should I mark you up? Let everyone see what we were doing out here?" Remus purred, and Sirius felt his insides tighten at the thought. "Mmm, I think I should," Remus said, kissing back up Sirius' neck, looking for the perfect place to start.
"Please, yes," Sirius moaned.
Remus proceeded to nip and suck at various parts of Sirius' neck and upper shoulders, pulling at the neck of Sirius' shirt to gain more access. Just the thought of what he must look like right now, pants pulled down only enough to expose his ass, pressed against the wall of their apartment building, red mouth-shaped bruises littering his skin. He wished there was a mirror so he could watch as Remus marked his territory.
"Fuck, you look so fucking good, I don't know how long I'm going to last," Remus revealed, his thrusts slowing down in speed but not in force.
"Cum inside me," Sirius rushed out. "I want to feel you cum inside me, please, please," he begged.
Remus gave one last nip at Sirius' neck and returned his hands to Sirius' waist, forcing him onto his cock. "Yeah, fuck, I really want to."
Sirius' hand was replaced by Remus' and all it took was a couple more rough jerks of his cock before he could feel his walls crumbling down. "I'm gonna cum, Moony, fuck, you're gonna make me cum," he half-moaned, half-whined.
"I'm close too, can you wait for me? Wait for me, please, you feel so good," Remus asked quickly and Sirius did his best to hold his orgasm at bay. He was so close, he wasn't sure how much longer he could hold off.
"Hnnng," he whined in response, words unable to be accessed, all his brain power was directed to holding his cum back.
"I'm almost there, you're doing so good baby, so good for me," Remus praised, only adding fuel to the fire that was Sirius.
"Moony," Sirius whined, he was close to tears at this point, the need to cum stronger than he ever thought possible.
"Shh, I know, I know," Remus said, his grip tightening on Sirius' hips. He looked forward to seeing the finger shaped bruises in the morning.
"Ok, fuck, fuck, I'm gonna-" Remus started but was interrupted by Sirius' own cries.
Not waiting for Remus to finish his thought, Sirius let go of all control and let his orgasm take over. He clenched around Remus' cock, spasmed in his hand. With only the wall in front of him he reached behind to grab fists of Remus' shirt to ground him, keep him from falling over.
He heard Remus swear followed by a series of groans as he spilled inside Sirius. Remus' desperate thrusts found the perfect angle to hit Sirius' prostate and he was spasming all over again.
Eventually, Remus slowed down and let his iron grip on Sirius' hips loosen. He quickly pulled out and spun Sirius around, letting the other boy fall limply against his chest, riding out the last shockwaves of his orgasm.
"Fuck," was the first word out of Sirius' lips as he returned to reality.
Remus laughed against Sirius' forehead. "Yeah, exactly that," he agreed. "Now we should really head back inside," he said.
Sirius could still hear the music coming from inside, the chattering conversations oblivious to what had just happened. "Gimme a sec, yeah? I don't think I have the strength to walk right now."
"I think I have some weed in my jacket?" Remus offered, immediately perking Sirius up.
"Oh fuck, yeah I could go for a postcoital spliff right now," He said, pulling away from Remus to pull his pants up.
"Never say that again," Remus laughed, pulling his own up and fishing around in his jacket pocket.
Sirius returned to his sitting position on the fire escape and pulled his lighter out of his pocket, waiting for Remus to join him.
They had just lit up when the door to inside sprung open, and a very obviously drunk James stumbled out. "There you both are! Fuck, I've been looking for you for ages, I promised Lils she could -" he paused, noting the joint pinched between Sirius' fingers. "Oh shit, can I have some?"
Remus laughed and snatched the joint out of Sirius' hand and extended it to their friend.
"Cheers," James said with a nod, taking a hit of the joint. "Anyway," he said on the inhale, "I promised Lily that -" he turned his head to indicate Lily was inside but froze, staring at the wall before erupting into a fit of coughs. "IS THAT CUM ON THE FUCKING WALL?"
James followed the trail down the wall, towards the small pool of Sirius' cum dripping through the grates of the fire escape floor. "Someone tell me right now who's cum I'm stepping in or I swear to Godric-"
FIN