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Jazz doesn’t really know how she’s staying on her feet as she deliberately speedwalks through the school, but she manages despite the tremors running through her body and the weakness of her knees. She doesn’t bother to knock as she enters the school counseling office, despite the withering stare her brother burns into her head when he sees her.
“Can I talk to Dr. Spectra?” She says, ignoring the way Danny’s mood further sours. His negative emotions are so intense right now that she can taste them, a sensation which makes her feel altogether too similar to her nemesis.
“Why do you want to talk to Ms. Spectra?” Danny glares. “I thought you hated me getting help.”
Jazz doesn’t know how to explain that she doesn’t fault him for wanting therapy. Their family situation has left scars on both of them, and as someone who until recently was on track to go to college and get a Psychology degree with Honors, Jazz has always been a proponent of mental health services. Her only stipulation with the whole situation is with who exactly Danny is getting therapy from. He says that Spectra is helping, but Jazz knows her modus operandi. Spectra’s only after one thing: keeping herself looking young, and she’ll use teenaged despair to do it.
“Whatever,” Danny scowls harder. Clearly she took too long to answer. “Considering how you’ve decided to shut everyone out instead of talking to us, I won’t suggest you try therapy too, even though you clearly need it.”
Jazz suppresses a flinch; he’s not wrong. She knows how much she’s changed since the Accident, and how much that’s hurt Danny especially. She didn’t intentionally pull away from her baby brother, but she doesn’t know how she could ever explain her situation to him. Unlike her parents, Danny’s opinions on the new ghost epidemic are unknown to her, but she remembers clearly that throughout their childhood, he’d always been more interested in their work than she had. Danny’s opinions towards ghosts seem to range from abject terror to protective rage, and she doesn’t know how she could deal with seeing the same look in his eyes that her parents get whenever they talk about hunting her ghost form.
Well, she thinks with a well-worn pang of regret, it’s not that different of a look from the one he wears whenever he looks at her these days; the admiration he used to wear has been slowly drained from his expression, leaving only a mix of pity and annoyance as Jazz struggles to be even a modicum of the person she once was.
Danny finishes making a follow-up appointment with Bernard and shoulders past her, not looking back at her as he leaves. Jazz almost lets the hurt well up inside her, till she sees Bernard’s lecherous smile. Disgusted, she takes a breath and lets herself bury her feelings; she can deal with them when she’s alone in her room, but she refuses to let either Bernard or his mistress feed off her.
“Jasmine,” Spectra says in her saccharine voice as she comes out of her office. “I didn’t expect to see you here. Is there something you need from me?”
“Cut the crap, Spectra,” Jazz growls. “You’ve been having Danny in here once a day for two weeks now, and I want to know why.”
“Why, Jasmine,” Spectra affects a shocked expression, but Jazz can feel her smugness radiating. “Surely even a struggling student like yourself knows that counselors have confidentiality rules? I can’t tell you what your brother has been saying, even the things he’s said about you.”
She must notice the slight hitch in Jasmine’s throat, because her face twists into something more faux-sympathetic. “Oh Jasmine,” she coos. “I know it must be hard having your family be disappointed in you, but you really can’t let them get to you.”
It’s only when Spectra leans forward to lay a hand on Jazz’s shoulder in some mockery of comfort that Jazz realizes she’s leaking emotions again. Another deep breath in and out and she’s got them in control again. Spectra’s displeased expression is all she needs to confirm that.
“They’d be disappointed in you too, if they knew,” she replies cooly, souring Spectra’s face further. Good. For all that Spectra holds being her mother’s best friend from university over Jazz’s head, they both know Maddie Fenton would never forgive Spectra if she knew what her “old friend Penny” had become.
“Don’t forget,” Spectra hisses, apparently having decided to forego pretending to be nice entirely. “If you try to expose me, you get exposed too. And I wonder what your mother and father will think when they see their precious little Princess has secretly been a monster this whole time.”
“My parents love me,” Jazz retorts weakly. She knows it’s true, but she doesn’t know how far it reaches.
“And your brother? You think he would love you too? He doesn’t even love you now, and he still thinks you’re fully human.”
“Don’t you dare talk about him,” Jazz snaps, red-hot fury rushing through her core and into her veins. “If you’re doing something to him, I’ll kill you, consequences be damned.”
“Really?” Spectra raises an amused eyebrow. “And you think you can win?”
Jazz glares at her, feeling her eyes flash. “Maybe not, but I’m watching you, Spectra. Stay away from my brother, or you might find your little secret exposed on the 5 o’clock news.”
She turns and walks decisively out the door, but as she’s about to leave, she hears Spectra’s delighted laugh.
“Very good dear Jasmine,” Spectra smiles and it looks sincere, Jazz realizes with a disgusted shiver. “You think of yourself as so different from me, and yet, you’re already learning.”
Dread blooms in Jazz’s stomach, and she can’t stay in this woman’s presence a moment longer. She swiftly exits the counselor’s office, trying not to look like she’s fleeing.
She’s going so fast, she doesn’t see where she’s going as she rounds a corner and smacks straight into someone heading the other direction.
“Sorry,” she mutters, trying to escape. “I- I apologize, I didn’t mean-”
“Jazz?” Fuck.
“Danny,” she gives him a brittle smile. “Sorry, I didn’t look where I was going.”
“No, it’s-” He looks at her intently, like he’s trying to figure something out. “Are you alright?”
Jazz tries to figure out how to answer that question as honestly as she can, before deciding that if she talks about her feelings with Danny at all, she’ll probably burst into tears in the middle of the hallway.
“I’m fine,” she says instead, before trying to weave around her little brother. Instead of letting her move past, he shifts in front of her again.
“Jazz, please just talk to me,” he glares at her, but this time he looks more hurt than angry. She didn’t even know she could still hurt him.
“I’m fine,” she says again. “Really. Anyway, you have Spirit Week preparations, right?”
If Jazz was still on track, she would have been Valedictorian of the senior class, which meant she’d be doing an auditorium speech. Danny’s neither a senior nor a Valedictorian, but for some reason, the school has decided to make him the Spirit Week speaker instead. Jazz suspects Spectra’s involvement in the decision somehow, but can’t figure out what her plan is.
“Yeah,” Danny replies. “I haven’t been doing very well on speech writing though. Ms. Spectra’s been helping me a bit, but…”
“Is that why you’ve been going and seeing her so often this week?” The small glare Danny sends her makes her wish she’d held her tongue, but it’s gone quickly.
“A little,” he sighs heavily. “I don’t know, I’ve been in a weird funk recently. Most of the school has, if you couldn’t tell. Ms. Spectra says it’s probably seasonal depression or something, but… I don’t know.”
Spectra’s probably doing something then. Not just to Danny but to the whole school. Jazz should probably keep an eye out. Especially on Danny, who Spectra seems to have focused her efforts on most of all, whether to spite Jazz or for some other reason she can’t figure out yet.
“Hey,” she says before she can think better of it. “Do you want me to drive you and your friends to ice cream after this?”
“Really?” Danny smiles hesitantly, and Jazz is reminded that she’s not the only one who’s been feeling the distance between them as of late. “Yeah, that sounds really good. I’ll let Sam and Tuck know.”
Jazz smiles and waves after him as he rushes off to go tell his friends. Her expression and hand both drop as he disappears out of sight. She’ll fix this, she resolves. Not just her relationship with Danny, but whatever emotions of his Spectra has messed with.
Maybe she can’t be his role model older sister anymore, but she’ll still protect him with every inch of her she has left, even if it kills her all the way this time.