Chapter Text
April 1999
Narcissa Malfoy walked through the hallways of the Manor with a rare pep in her step. It was early evening and she was on her way to her room to get ready for the night. As the Manor was such a large place she would usually just apparate if she had to cover such a large distance, but having been cooped up in the study for most of the day she wanted to stretch her legs out.
They were in the height of springtime and the night's were finally starting to draw out, that with the addition of warmer weather, it was hard not to feel cheerful these days.
Earlier today she had finished the book Hermione had lent her, she had claimed it to be one of her favourite muggle books, and as Narcissa devoured page after page she started to see why. It had fit perfectly with Hermione's personality, as if the author had captured some of her mind and soul and turned it into a book. Every chapter she worked her way through, Narcissa could feel herself growing even more fond for the curly haired witch, who had left silly notes in the margins and highlighted her favourite moments. She treasured the thought of being privy to seeing such private things, to learn about the workings of her mind that would usually be kept to oneself.
Hermione should be coming over again tomorrow to do another round of testing on their potion. Afterwards they'd usually share some tea together and talk.
Narcissa found talking with Hermione to be fascinating, no one used to care before whenever Narcissa wanted to talk about the workings of magic, most found it boring. It was different with her. Not only did Hermione find their discussions interesting, she was passionate about it too, sometimes even challenging Narcissa on notions she thought she already knew. It was a refreshing change to be kept on her toes with conversations like they had, and she knew Hermione felt the same way. She'll give the book back to her tomorrow, she thought, excited to discuss her thoughts on it.
If someone had told her a year ago that she, Narcissa Malfoy, would not only be having weekly teatime with The Golden Girl, Hermione Granger, but also look forward to each one. Even finding it to be the highlight of her week at times. She'd have laughed straight in their face, as well as seriously considering that they had lost their mind. But here she was now, only a few short months after their first interaction since the war, sharing books and tea together as if they've been friends for years.
As she turned the corner, nearing one of the more casual lounges that were in use, muffled voices could be heard through the hall.
‘Draco must have just got home,’ Narcissa thought to herself, ‘and has brought someone with him if the voices are anything to go by.’
As she got closer towards the door Narcissa decided to quickly check in on him and say goodnight.
Poking her head through the door, Narcissa opened her mouth to alert them to her presence, but all that came out was a strangled gasp.
In the lounge was her son, as she expected, with none other than Hermione Granger. Kissing.
Narcissa whipped her head back out of the room in a state of shock and tried to walk away as quickly as possible. She was only able to walk a few feet before she felt herself starting to crumble. Not wanting either of them to find her in such a state, Narcissa gave up and apparated to her room, wishing she had just done that to start with.
Landing in front of her bed, Narcissa stumbled to her dressing table and hastily put her hair in a braid, still thinking about what she just saw. As she finished up, putting the bobble on the end, something wet landed on her arm. Glancing at the droplet on her arm Narcissa realised it was a tear, looking up into her vanity mirror Narcissa was greeted with the sight of herself crying. And by the look of her face, with her eyes red raw, and mascara mixing with the rest of her makeup, it seemed she had been crying for a while.
“Damn it!” Narcissa cursed softly to herself, putting her head in her hands. She couldn't deny it to herself anymore, not with proof of her emotions staring right back at her. She had fallen in love with Hermione Granger.
Narcissa had known that she had some feelings for the younger witch, but had dismissed it as a small crush, something that would go after a few weeks. But if Narcissa was honest with herself, she knew, deep down she knew it was much more than that. But she also knew that her feelings were completely innapropriote. Her, the ex wife of a death eater, the mother of her childhood bully and the sister to the woman who tortured the poor girl falling for Hermione, mastermind of the golden trio, Order of Merlin war hero and who was practically the same age as her son! Hermione was sure to run for the hills if she ever found out about Narcissa’s feelings.
It didn’t matter now anyway, Narcissa thought, dismayed. Since it seemed that Hermione was very much straight, and very much into her son. And if that kiss was anything to go by, Draco liked her too. Besides, her son will always come first in her life, after suffering so much during the war, she would do anything if it meant he’s happy, even if it means causing suffering for herself.
Narcissa knew her feelings would never be reciprocated, that Hermione would have eventually found someone. But why did it have to be her son of all people! At least with someone else she wouldn't have to have seen them together. But Draco is her world, she would never ignore anything about him, including anyone he dates.
Their weekly talks over tea had to stop, Narcissa decided, sitting back up straight to take off her ruined makeup. They will still have to meet up to work on their potion, and she won’t ignore Hermione if she saw her and Draco together, but she needed to start distancing herself from the other woman if she was to heal herself from this heartbreak. And talking to her for hours on end, alone, every week isn't going to help.
Climbing into bed, and wiping away the tears that were still falling down her face. Narcissa, for the first time in a while, felt utterly hopeless.