Chapter Text
"I don't want to be a parent... I have to go," He said.
She huffed, covering her face with her hands and let out a scream of anger. It's not like she planned the pregnancy to tie him down or as some ridiculous plan... Who did Casey think he was? Damn.
She didn't even know what she was going to do with a child... a baby, her baby.
Nausea overwhelmed her. Jane rushed to the bathroom, almost vomiting on her own feet. The retching hit the brunette with force, like an unstoppable avalanche.
Now it was official, Jane Rizzoli was completely screwed. Completely screwed.
She needed to talk to her best friend because everything was a mess and she had no idea what to do. She needed help. She needed to talk to the only person she knew would be able to think clearly and give her really useful advice.
Jane fought back a sudden wave of tears. She just wanted Maura, she needed Maura to hold her and find some way to tell her that she didn't need help and that she could do it alone because she was Jane Rizzoli and she could handle anything. Maura was always so convincing every time she said it, that even Jane had started to believe it.
Jane was completely unaware of the door to her apartment opening and closing. She didn't notice Maura's presence in her small living room, looking around for signs of Jane.
"Jane?"
Upon hearing sounds of retching, Maura left the box of sweets on the counter and went in search of Jane.
Maura almost stumbled into the bathroom and gasped when she saw Jane vomiting.
She threw herself against her friend, rubbing the brunette's back with one hand while holding back her hair with the other. "Jane... I've got you."
"Maur?" Jane replied, her voice choked due to the retching. "I'm sorry... I'm sorry."
"Shhhhhhh, it's okay. Don't worry, sweetheart." Maura continued rubbing her back in an attempt to comfort her.
Shortly after, when Jane finally finished vomiting, she collapsed like a withered flower and huddled on the floor, looking very pale.
"Jane?"
"Thank you... Thank you... for... coming..." Jane cursed how pathetic she felt and how much she needed Maura and her care.
Maura brushed some stray curls away from Jane's damp face. Jane felt cold to the touch and her teeth were chattering. Maura stood up and went to get a blanket, then returned and wrapped Jane in it, helping her to her feet and making sure the brunette leaned on her at all times.
"Come on, let's get you to bed..." Maura gently instructed.
Jane hated herself for feeling so fragile and trembling, but she obeyed and let Maura take care of everything.
That was a great relief for Maura. The fact that Jane didn't oppose any of her suggestions was a relief, although it was also a clear symptom of the state of the detective who always had a sharp comment to retort and debate.
Jane practically had her eyes closed when she touched the bed, and she fell asleep immediately.
She didn't even notice when Maura took off her shoes and covered her with the blanket. Then, as if she had just remembered something important, Maura pinched her arm a couple of times, took her pulse on her neck, and then checked her temperature.
"Jane, you're showing signs of dehydration and your pulse is dropping. I would like to give you an IV, you need fluids..." Maura sighed, placing a hand on her hip, and opted for the most prudent action and consulted with the obstetrician she had seen that same morning.
After a couple of minutes of uncertainty and waiting, the specialist answered the call. Immediately, Maura explained the situation.
When Jane regained consciousness, Maura stopped walking and looked at her anxiously.
Jane frowned as she felt something strange on her left arm. She almost cursed when she discovered a tube leading to a bag of saline solution hanging from a wheeled apparatus. Jane grimaced as she sat on the bed against a couple of extra pillows.
She brought a hand to her forehead. "Was this necessary, Maura?"
Maura sighed. "Absolutely, you were dehydrated and your pulse was dropping. The IV was the ideal solution."
"And the pillows?" Jane grumbled, grabbing one of the pillows in her hands and throwing it at Maura.
Maura left the pillow on the bed as she sat next to Jane. "Are you feeling better?"
Jane snorted before rubbing her face with her hands. "And this is just the beginning, right?"
"Jane..." Maura rubbed one of her hands. "Are you okay?"
"I know I've already said it, but... How am I going to be able to do this, Maura? I'm a mess!"
"Jane, you're not a mess. You're just Jane. And I'm here with you."
"Yes, because I asked you to, it was unfair of me to do that. If you want, you can leave, you don't have to..." Jane swallowed hard. "You don't have to deal with this."
Maura took Jane's face in her hands, almost reverently. "Jane, there's nowhere else I'd rather be than here, with you."
"Thank you," Jane said, almost on the verge of tears.
Maura gave her an encouraging gesture and wrapped Jane in a warm and comforting hug.
Jane tried not to tremble too much. She took a few deep breaths and let out a sigh as Maura rubbed her back. She felt another wave of tears threatening as she clung desperately to Maura, trying not to hold on too tight but also needing Maura closer.
Jane snorted and pulled away. "I'm sorry-"
Maura gave her a small smile and wiped the tears that Jane hadn't even noticed had escaped.
"It's okay, Jane. Everything is going to be okay."
Jane snorted again and nodded, leaning back in bed against the pillows. She really felt exhausted.
Maura asked her to wait for her, and when she returned to the room, she joined Jane two minutes later with two cups of something that smelled calming, a plate of sweets, and a worried look.
Jane mumbled an apology and took her tea, removed the tea bag, and took a sip.
The tea instantly warmed her and chased away some of the anxiety, and she sighed, taking a second sip. Jane felt bad seeing that Maura was still looking at her with concern.
"This is really good," she said with a small smile.
Maura returned the smile with one of her own.
"It was a gift from my mother. She said it was a blend meant to help calm anxious minds," Maura said with a cheerful smile.
Maura looked at her own cup and then looked at Jane, setting aside her tea.
"Casey called, didn't he?" Maura said in a low voice.
Jane looked at her, surprised. She opened and closed her mouth several times, trying to form the words.
Maura sighed, playing with her tea. She looked off into the distance as if she were thinking.
"What... What did he want? Does he want to come back? Did he change his mind?"
Jane scoffed and took another sip of her tea. After a moment of bitter silence, Jane cleared her throat, ready to speak. "He said that... I should have an abortion."
Maura's eyes widened and locked onto Jane's.
"He said he didn't want to be the father of someone, that his blood shouldn't continue in this world."
"It's not just about his blood, it's your blood too. It's your DNA that it's sharing," Maura replied through gritted teeth.
Jane bitterly scoffed. "He wants me to get rid of everything related to him. Because he will do the same."
"What about you? What do you want to do?"
"I meant every word I said yesterday. I want to have this baby, I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to be a mother, but I want to do it, and I want you to do it with me... Although I understand if you..."
Maura reached out and touched Jane's face. "Jane, there's nowhere else I'd rather be than here, with you."
Jane left the teacup on the nightstand and brought her hands to her face. "Well, because I can barely handle everything, Maura. How am I supposed to handle a baby? I can barely take care of myself, let alone anyone else."
Maura rolled her eyes and sighed resignedly.
"Believe it or not, I'm sure you'll manage. Women have been doing it for centuries, and you're in a better position than most. You have your family, your friends, you have me... You're not going through this alone, Jane."
"Thank you, Maura. Look at me, I'm a mess, and this is just the beginning."
"What scares you the most about the whole pregnancy thing?" Maura asked attentively. "Is it the money? Medical risks? Being a single mother? Possible disapproval from your family? Losing your own identity? Casey? Bringing someone into this world? Insecurity?"
"Everything scares me... I'm scared of failing this baby, of causing lifelong damage and making their life miserable because of me. What if they learn to be reckless like me? What if I don't know how to hold them? What if they cry and I don't know how to calm them down? What if I give them a hamburger instead of a bottle? What if I forget about them and they wait for me crying for hours? What if all of that makes them want to become a psychopathic killer? Maura... What if a psychopath wants to take them away?"
"Wait, wait... One thing at a time, Jane. If you don't know how to hold them, you'll learn, and I won't let you feed this child junk food until they're old enough for it..." Maura interrupted her tirade.
"I don't know how to make a bottle! Or change diapers... Or bathe them... Or... Mom stuff..." Jane complained.
Maura let out an anxious laugh. "We'll learn together." Maura assured her. "Trust me."
Jane nodded as she wiped the tears from her face.
"I have no doubt that you'll be a great mother." Maura got into bed with her and enveloped her in a comforting hug.
"How can you be so sure? Didn't you hear anything I said?"
"I heard everything you said, Jane, and that only confirms what I already suspected, you... You're going to be a terrifying and protective mother. I have no doubts."
"How do you know?"
"Rizzoli & Isles, together until the end," Maura whispered before kissing her forehead.
"Rizzoli & Isles, huh?" Jane chuckled briefly.
Maura blushed. "It's just a saying..."
"No, no... It has its essence, I like it," Jane replied sincerely.
"Jane?"
Maura blushed. "It's just a saying..."
"No, no... It has its essence, I like it," Jane responded sincerely.
"Jane?"
"I would love for the baby to be yours."
Maura was breathless.
"At least... You know... It could have your last name, it would be nice," Jane nervously explained.
"You? Really?"
"Of course, why not? Or is it... Oh... Never mind," Jane's expression darkened.
"What? What's wrong?" Maura alarmed as she saw Jane close up behind her typical facade of toughness.
"I guess you just wanted to be the «Aunt Maura» after all," Jane replied, rubbing her neck.
Maura raised her eyebrows. "What? What? No, I... You want it to be my nephew?"
"Honestly? I'm relieved that you're with me. But I would feel better if the baby were yours... You know, as you already know."
Maura nodded. "Jane? Do you... Are you asking if we should share custody of the baby?" Maura needed to make sure she understood Jane correctly, there could be no misinterpretations or assumptions. She had to be precise and clear.
"I...? Is that possible, right?"
Maura found her mouth dry and hurried to take a sip of her tea. Seeing that Jane was still there, smiling at her half-trembling, Maura took a long inhale.
"Yes, it's possible... Are you sure?"
"Why not? We all know you'll be a better mother than me. You... You wanted to be a mother and you're so protective, whereas I..."
Maura reached her hand to Jane's cheek. "You're perfect, Jane."
Jane smiled and took Maura's hand, holding it against her. "Do you want to be my baby's mommy?"
Maura smiled nervously and dizzy. "You're the mother..."
"Well... What if this baby is very demanding and needs 2 moms? Do you want to be the other mom?"
Maura was about to cry right there. "Jane... Are you sure? What if you change your mind later?"
Jane shook her head. "I'm absolutely sure that I want you, Dr. Maura Isles, to be the mother that this baby deserves." To reinforce her request, Jane placed Maura's hand against her belly. "Do you want to?"
Maura shivered, hypnotized by Jane's skin. She nodded before looking into Jane's eyes.
"Yes, Jane. Yes, I do." She whispered with excitement.
Jane hugged her without hesitation, both women found themselves crying with joy.
"With one condition."
Jane groaned in Maura's arms and moved to see her face. "What?"
"Actually, there are three conditions."
"Maura!" Jane complained in a childish tone.
"It's vital, Jane."
Jane crossed her arms with an adorable and stubborn pout. "Fine, shoot."
"1: You have to move in with me where I can take care of you and the baby." Maura explained seriously. Jane wrinkled her face but found herself nodding.
"2: You will follow the instructions of the doctor we schedule an appointment with. We'll go tomorrow."
Jane kicked the bed before accepting.
"And what's the 3rd?"
"You... You will marry me."
Jane's eyes widened. "What?"
Maura nodded with a cunning smile. "Once the baby is born, I'll be able to give them my last name without any issues."
Jane blinked, speechless. "You... Uh..."
"Think about it." Maura got off the bed and smoothed her hair before picking up the tea cups, completely indifferent to Jane's state of shock.
"Uh... Maura..."
Maura stopped at the door. "Yes, Jane?"
"Are you sure you want to do this?"
"Only if my conditions are worth it to you." Maura replied.