Chapter Text
“Jinnie is the prettiest,” Namjoon ran a hand down his back. Seokjin wished he didn’t feel a shiver at the touch. His instincts would melt at pretty much anything lately.
Seokjin only just arrived at the Kim pack’s house and was already roped into chaos. He looked over the two pups trying to put on their best pouts and watery eyes as they looked at Namjoon. Seokjin took in their outfits, a little snug and soft for their tastes. He recognized them from Jimin’s closet. Something was certainly up.
“That’s not fair!” Taehyung whined. “Of course he’s pretty, we already knew that. You’re just avoiding the question.”
Maybe the pups should raid Jimin’s closet more often. Taehyung’s lacey shirt and tight pants were already seared into his memory. Seokjin looked away when Taehyung turned towards him to solicit more hyung points. He could feel the heat building across his cheeks.
“I look prettier,” Jungkook made a face at Taehyung, then turned to Namjoon with big puppy eyes. “Right, alpha?”
Seokjin barely stifled a laugh. Jungkook wasted no time giving up his dignity just so Namjoon would dub him the prettiest. Well, maybe Seokjin shouldn’t be so quick to judge. He’d also whip out watery eyes and whining to get his way. Especially if that meant being called pretty by Kim pack for the rest of his life. His heart ached at the thought.
The Kim pack. He was starting to wonder if the universe was fucking with him. Even in name, the pack sounded like his. But they weren’t and never would be. Fuck, he was all too aware that they weren’t. Seokjin internally shoved his instincts back.
“I already said what I think,” Namjoon shrugged. “Jimin probably coerced you two into this so he could watch his show without interruptions. Why don’t you go mess with him instead?”
Realization dawned on the pup’s faces, followed by an unspoken agreement to get revenge on Jimin for sending them away. The fondness in Seokjin only grew as they shuffled towards the pack bedroom with mischievous giggles. He always thought it was impossible to love the Kim pack more, yet every day they proved him wrong. All that love was too big to get a hold on anymore.
“I can’t believe Jimin sacrificed his wardrobe in favor of some show,” Seokjin said. “I almost feel bad sending them to interrupt him.”
“He finished it earlier, he’s just rewatching now.” Namjoon smiled as he guided Seokjin to the living room. “It’s been too long since you visited.”
“It’s only been a few days, don’t be silly.” Seokjin batted at Namjoon’s arm. Of course, internally he agreed with the alpha. It was far too long. The lingering scent of the Kim pack had faded from the clothes he wore last time and his instincts were doing a number on him for it.
He settled on the couch, content to just take in the pack scent and scroll through his phone. Part of him insisted it was strange to visit them so often without an actual reason. He brushed off the thought. The pack was so lovely and clearly enjoyed his company. If Seokjin was harboring secret desires and motivations, they didn’t need to know. He wasn’t some teenage omega who couldn’t keep himself under control. Thirty years of wrangling his lonely instincts became like background noise eventually.
Except those instincts only got more insistent in the past year with the Kim pack.
Before meeting them, Seokjin accepted that he was a lone wolf. Just an unlikeable outlier that was packless and mateless forever. Logically, he still knew that was true. The Kim pack was mated for over four years and had been pack even longer. What they had was beautiful. It was like the love between them was a physical thing. Seokjin could see in their touches and shared looks. With something so precious dangled in front of him, his instincts wailed.
Playful shouts echoed from the pack bedroom. It was the only room Seokjin had never seen, by his own choice. They were so open, once even inviting him into the pack nest after a particularly hard day at work. He’d found some easy way to change the topic then. If he nested with them as an outsider, what would it mean? Most packs were extremely protective of their nests, but the Kim pack was just too sweet and weak for a silly omega. He wasn’t going to cross a boundary just because of their subgenders.
Sometimes he felt so alone among all the alphas and betas of the world. They all pitied him for being packless and mateless, as if that’s all that would give him worth. At least the Kim pack made him feel like a person.
“Jinnie-hyung, do you want anything to eat? We can order dinner.” Namjoon sat on the couch beside him, so close that their legs touched.
“If you order groceries I can cook,” Seokjin offered, like he did every time. It was such a simple way to care. A small gesture that gave him good food, fed people he loved, and satisfied his instincts enough to go on with his life instead of wallowing.
“You know you don’t have to do that every time.” Namjoon patted his leg. “You’ve cooked so often, it’s hard to miss. Having you here is enough, you don’t need to do anything. We’ll be ready when you are.”
“Ready for what—”
Seokjin was cut off by Hoseok’s cheerful greeting as he entered the house. He noted Yoongi’s scent too. They must have been somewhere together. A musician and a dancer. What a lovely combo. Namjoon tapped Seokjin’s leg one more time with a sweet dimpled smile before going to thoroughly scent his mates in the entryway. The sight made Seokjin’s heart ache. When would that be him? Even if he never found a mate, why couldn’t he have a pack?
Yoongi peered around Namjoon’s broad frame, sniffing. “Omega?”
“Hi,” Seokjin waved, ignoring the impersonal address. Yoongi was just like that sometimes with such a close tie to his instincts. “We’re ordering food tonight. If you come up with something before the pups get a word in, you’ll decide what we’re having.”
“Noodles!” Hoseok chimed in, shucking off his coat and hurrying over to the couch. He pulled out his phone and happily showed the menu to Seokjin. The dishes looked wonderful, mouthwatering. Almost as good as the lovely beta scent in the room.
The pups came piling in together, probably just catching the scent of their returning mates. They hadn’t rushed Seokjin like that… not that they had any need to. He wasn’t pack, so what use would it be? It’s not like they were going to scent him or anything.
Seokjin liked to think he was getting used to the way pure contentedness and utter loneliness coexisted inside him. Every touch and praise sent him flying high, but the knowledge that he wasn’t theirs kept him tethered to the ground. He longed to get lost in their comforting presence as they ate and told each other stories. He held himself back instead. Intruding would be rude.
Time went by all too fast. It was getting late and he would rather die than overstay his welcome or interrupt their pack time. Seokjin started to quietly make his exit, hoping to escape before any of the scattered packmates noticed.
“Before you go, I have something for you.” Jimin had held his wrist gently. He only let go when he was positive Seokjin wasn’t going to leave, then ran to the pack bedroom. He returned with a pink hoodie. “I ordered this online, but it’s too big for me. I thought you might like it.”
He took it and ran his fingers over the soft fabric. It was such a lovely color and smelled of the pack. Jimin must have had it for quite a while for it to be so saturated in each of their scents. Had they kept it in the nest or something? The smell was overwhelming and he hadn’t even held it up to his face.
“Thank you,” he said, tucking the hoodie under his arm and slipping on his shoes.
“You should try it on before you go!” Taehyung appeared in the entryway. “Just to make sure it fits.”
Well, since he mentioned it… Seokjin slipped off his cardigan. Jimin was quick to hold it for him while he pulled on the hoodie. The inner lining was somehow softer than the outside. He resisted the urge to purr as the pack scent enveloped him. Shit, he really didn’t want to take it off. It would absolutely destroy his omega to leave without it on.
“It looks great on you,” Taehyung’s eyes were bright. “Why don’t you just wear it home? We can keep your cardigan with us until your next visit.”
Seokjin ruffled Taehyung’s hair, keeping his breathing steady. “If you insist, pup.”
Taehyung pulled him and Jimin into a crushing hug. As Seokjin half-heartedly pulled back and whined about it, he met eyes with Namjoon. Damn, the Kim pack was good at sneaking up on him.
“Trying to leave without saying goodbye again?” Namjoon’s deep tone settled something in him. “You two stop pestering hyung.”
The pups reluctantly shuffled away.
“They were just being sweet,” Seokjin’s laugh trailed off as Namjoon's gaze raked over him, those sharp eyes settling on the hoodie. “You okay?”
He was starting to feel self-conscious. The pack alpha probably didn’t like having the pack scent on an outsider. Shit, he shouldn’t have accepted the hoodie in the first place. Shame rose within him, sending his instincts cowering back. He carefully kept the emotion out of his scent and off his face.
Namjoon blinked, coming back to himself. “I’m great. Sorry about the pups pushing things like this. They indulge their alpha instincts a lot and it’s healthy to just go with it. But if it’s too soon for such a heavily scented item, don’t be afraid to say something.”
“Oh, Jimin said it was his, I’m just getting it because it was too big,” Seokjin glanced down at the sweater. He hoped it was an okay excuse. If anyone tried to take the hoodie away he’d do something embarrassing like crying. His omega instincts were not always on his side.
Namjoon raised an eyebrow, “And you believed him? Anyway, it’s still nice to have our scents with you, right?”
Seokjin held himself back from agreeing enthusiastically. Namjoon didn’t mean it that way. Of course, a bunch of alphas would want an omega to carry their scent. It was just instincts talking. The pack was all alphas and betas, so it was natural to want to take care of him. It was just a subgender thing.
“Yeah,” he said evenly. “I’ve got another day at the office tomorrow, so I really do have to go.”
“Alright,” Namjoon ran a hand from his shoulder to his wrist and rubbed there gently, “Don’t stay away so long again.”
Seokjin nodded before hurrying out of the house. That soft rub on his scent gland was going to haunt his dreams.
***
“Is that in the dress code?”
“Ever heard of casual Friday?” Seokjin said for perhaps the sixth time that day. Since when did any of his coworkers actually care about ‘business casual’? At this rate, someone was going to tell the boss and he’d get scolded. What was so wrong about doing his job in a hoodie? It wasn’t affecting his work at all!
He couldn’t bring himself to part from the hoodie for too long. After showering, he’d slept in it, and, to his satisfaction, the scents transferred a little into his sheets. It was the most intensely scented piece of clothing he’d ever seen. Things like it had to be common in the Kim pack’s house. Maybe he could snatch something without anyone noticing during his next visit.
The hoodie was going to get dirty if he kept wearing it nonstop, but he’d rather burn all the rest of his nesting materials than wash out the scents. Maybe he could convince himself to put it in his nest when he got home to spare it from grime. He didn’t know the next time he’d get so lucky.
“Fuck the dress code, right?”
Seokjin sighed and swiveled his desk chair around to face yet another nosy coworker, “I just like to be comfortable.”
“Oh, that makes sense! I’ve heard that it’s especially important for omegas to stay comfy.” They smiled. “Isn’t that right omega-ssi? I know you like cute things.”
It took an annoying amount of effort to keep himself from gagging. Seokjin liked to be coddled and complemented only by people he trusted. When it came from people he knew respected his autonomy, he basked in it. But from people like this, it was all built on traditional omega roles. It made his skin crawl.
He took a deep breath, “I’m not trying to be cute I just—”
“Wait,” They sniffed. “Woah, that's strong. I didn’t realize it was coming for you. Have you had a pack all this time? You never bring anyone to the company events.”
Years of working with insufferable bosses and clients had trained him to mask his emotions. With no sign besides a slight noise twitch, Seokjin moved through the excruciating small talk until the coworker finally left.
Most days it felt like every person at the office had “say the exact right thing to ruin Seokjin’s day” on their itinerary.
Packless. It was one thing to know it himself but to think that the whole office assumed it too. No wonder all the alphas treated him strangely. He had to find diplomatic ways to reject gifts and advances without disrupting the workplace. Stupid alphas thinking they’re going to be some great savior to a lonely omega.
The worst part of it was that he tried so hard in the past. In college, he had a temporary pack, but all the members knew from the start it wouldn’t last. It was only meant to help them through those stressful years. He didn’t stay in touch with any of them. After graduation, every so often he’d find an interesting group of people and grow hopeful.
It always crashed and burned fast. People would call him fussy or childish and he’d leave heartbroken. He didn’t even care about finding a mate. All he wanted was to feel like he belonged somewhere for once. He had turned to pack-finding websites, only serving to create an ever-growing list of rejected packs whose alphas sent invasive messages and wanted him for rut sex.
Eventually, he deleted his accounts. Seokjin knew that he was more than just the appearance alphas saw in his pictures, but with each day in his thirties, it seemed like maybe he was just meant to be admired from afar. In person, he was too fussy. Just too much in general.
Seokjin dragged himself home and went right to his nest. His setup was a pink castle tent in the corner of the bedroom. There was a mini fridge and a chest filled with some of his favorite snacks. He flicked on the pink and white fairy lights and nestled into the soft pillows that took over the floor.
He was finally relaxed enough to pull off the hoodie. It got a special place near the back of the nest where it would be safe. Having the Kim pack’s scent so present in his nest was almost euphoric. It made him think about actually having them there with him. They probably wouldn’t all fit in the little tent. He hadn’t built it to accommodate a pack, no matter how much he wanted that.
What would his nest be like if he had met the Kim pack earlier? Of course, they’d have the pack nest, whatever that looked like, but he would want his own place too. There was an empty corner in the living room that always caught his attention. He could probably find a bigger tent online to accommodate packmates. They would be so good and always ask for permission before coming in. His lovely mates would bring gifts in the form of scented clothes and snacks every time.
But it was just a fantasy. Still, with the heavy-scented hoodie, it almost felt like it could be true. If he closed his eyes and imagined, he was practically there.
Seokjin fell asleep in his nest. That wasn’t unusual, but it did mean his back hurt like hell the next day. He was able to pry himself away from the hoodie, knowing it was safely stashed in his nest. At least it was the weekend and he could go right over to bury his face in it if he needed to.
It was a lazy morning. He sped through a few game levels before abandoning a particularly difficult one in favor of scrolling through social media. He almost dropped his phone when a sudden call from Namjoon popped up.
“Hi Jinnie-hyung.”
He tried to keep the preen out of his voice, “Hi Joon-ah, what’s up.”
“I was wondering if you’re free to check on Yoongi for me. He’s holed up in the studio again and slept there last night. I’ve got a gallery in half an hour and the others are out, but if you’re busy I can afford to be a little late—”
“Nope, not busy.” Seokjin was already up and moving. “I’ll make a lunch box for him. Any messages you want me to deliver?”
“Just to make sure he’s taking care of himself.” Namjoon was silent for a beat. “You take care of yourself too. And come visit.”
He laughed, “It’s only been a day.”
“A day too long to go without our favorite omega.”
Part of him was overjoyed to be called their favorite omega, but he also was aware of just how few omegas the Kim pack knew. He never smelled even the faintest trace of one in the house. Of course, they liked him and felt the need to protect him. He was the only omega in their life.
Sometimes he worried that they’d meet another omega and figure out they didn’t have to stick with him. The thought always made him feel guilty. Despite their dynamics, they were his friends. Even if he somehow turned into a beta overnight, they’d still be friends. Yet that fear wouldn’t leave. It would hurt so much to watch them find a new omega, one they wanted in the pack and as a mate.
He let Namjoon prattle on until he realized he was going to be late if he didn’t start driving soon. By then Seokjin was done preparing lunch for him and Yoongi. As soon as the call dropped, he was out the door. On the way to the studio, he picked up some pastries and a little cat keychain he saw in a shop window. He’d tried to walk past, but it absolutely screamed Yoongi and he couldn’t resist.
The walk wasn’t long. The studio was located on the third floor of a small building. Various businesses operated out of the for-rent rooms. The usual corporate drivel was absent since it was the weekend, so he could already hear the faint sound of Yoongi’s music in the corner room. A little plaque on the door said “Kim-Min-Jung Studios”. He knew the pups made it for their musician hyungs.
He wanted a little door sign.
Why did he feel jealous over something like that? It was just ridiculous. He huffed at himself, mentally beating back his instincts.
Namjoon, Yoongi, and Hoseok shared the studio. Yoongi was there often since producing was his job rather than the passion project it was for the others. Seokjin visited many times in the past year. One time, Yoongi taught him the basics of the equipment and he proceeded to create an absolute crime against music. Hoseok had laughed himself off the couch when he came in later to hear it. Seokjin wanted to hear that laugh for the rest of his life.
He knocked gently on the frosted glass door.
“Jin-hyung?” Yoongi asked from inside. He had the best nose out of the pack.
“The one and only.”
The door swung open and Yoongi pulled him inside, “Come listen to this. Something’s off and I can’t place it.”
Seokjin stilled, effectively calming the beta, “How about you take a break first? Then you’ll be able to listen with fresh ears too. I brought food.”
Yoongi looked hesitant. It was really too difficult to pull the man out of his work.
“I made it myself,” Seokjin added.
He would pull out all the stops to make sure his wonderful beta was taking care of himself. Wait, no, not his beta. There his instincts went trying to claim the Kim pack again.
He continued, “I also got you a gift, but you can’t have it until you eat.”
Seokjin could see the internal battle play out on his face. In the end, Yoongi grumbled some unintelligible reply and quickly saved his work before bringing out a small folding table and sitting on the ground. Seokjin joined him and spread out the food. He felt so pleased with each bite Yoongi took.
“What are you working on today?” Seokjin started to eat.
“Something for a new girl group. Technically I’m not supposed to talk about it, but who gives a shit. I’m on the fifth draft. They keep telling me to change things, but the feedback is vague. I thought it was perfect the first way, but they care more about finding the perfect pop formula than my artistic merit.”
Seokjin eyed a splash of sauce that had found a home on Yoongi’s cheek, “Why do you still work for those idol groups anyway? Just do your own stuff.”
“I think the groups deserve a chance. Besides, working with me they’ll get a lot more say in what they make than other companies would allow.” Yoongi sighed. “It’s not like I ever stopped working on my mixtape. One day I’ll finish it.”
The sauce was still there. Seokjin weighed the positives and negatives and decided that it really wouldn’t be crossing the line to help. He took a napkin and reached over, carefully wiping it away. Yoongi paused for a moment and met his gaze.
“Thanks hyung,” he muttered, eyes flickering away.
Seokjin hummed, “No need to thank me.”
Once the containers were empty, he fished out the cat keychain and presented it to Yoongi. He got that precious gummy smile in response. Yoongi immediately attached it to his bag. The bright colors made it stand out against the black material. Seokjin practically melted. Yoongi was going to be carrying around a tangible sign of Seokjin’s love.
He stayed a while longer. The track Yoongi was working on sounded wonderful. Seokjin wasn’t sure what the company wanted either, so he wasn’t much help. Still, he stayed and listened and leaned in close to point at the monitor so he could grasp at that warm scent. It was already deeply ingrained in the studio, but it was best to get it straight from the source.
By the time he headed out, Yoongi had a few genius moments and made changes to the track. It certainly sounded like the type of thing that would top the charts. He simply pinched Yoongi’s cheeks and ignored the yelp of protest as he said goodbye.
He texted Namjoon that Yoongi was well-fed and walked back home. The staleness of the scentless air hit him hard. It wasn’t fair.
Back home he made a beeline for his nest and buried his face in the hoodie. It was going to be another nesting night. Seokjin apologized to his poor back muscles, then curled into the soft sheets.