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While Janice was in another room, Tony messed with Aaron who was asleep in an armchair - much to the amusement of himself, Christopher, and Adriana.
He balanced a cushion on Aaron’s head and the three of them had to stifle their laughter.
“You think you can do two?” Adriana looked at the other cushions on the couch.
“You could rob this poor bastard blind and he wouldn’t know it.” Christopher put down his beer to grab another cushion.
“If he had anything to rob, I’d fuckin’ consider it.” Tony took the cushion.
At the kitchen, Carmela was stressed beyond belief by cooking this meal. Especially since Tony had just forced her to lie to Rosalie.
“You’re supposed to baste the turkey every 40 minutes.” Mary hovered by Carmela as she cooked.
“I know, mother.” Carmela didn’t even dignify her with a glance. “Believe it or not, I’ve cooked a turkey before.”
Janice walked back in the room.
“Janice,” Adriana whispered to Tony and Christopher.
They stopped trying to balance the cushions on Aaron’s head and threw them back onto the couch.
Janice walked by them and narrowed her eyes, sensing that they were doing something mischievous. She leaned on the kitchen counter. “You need any help, Carm?” She fully expected Carmela to say no since she had a reputation for being useless in the kitchen.
“Yes, actually. That would be nice, Janice.” Carmela knew better but was too stressed to refuse help. “Can you help my mother get everything out on the table?”
“Oh.” Janice was visibly taken aback. “Sure…” she started to move but then thought of an excuse. “It might cause permanent damage to my wrists, with the carpal tunnel and everything, but I can try if you really want me to...?”
Carmela shook her head to herself. “Meadow!” she yelled, giving up on Janice entirely.
Janice smirked and walked away.
“What?” Meadow said curtly, mid conversation with AJ and Hugh.
“Come help your grandmother get everything ready.”
“Why?” Meadow scoffed.
“Because I told you to!”
“What about AJ? Because I’m the daughter I have to help with the cooking?” Meadow started her lecture. “Don’t you realize how patriarc–”
“Adriana!” Carmela gave up on Meadow too.
“Yeah?”
“Will you please help my mother get everything out on the table. The food’s gonna get cold.”
“Yeah, sure.” Adriana put her drink down and walked over to help Mary carry things.
They both picked some dishes up and headed to the dining room.
“I hope you’re comfortable,” Mary bitched at Hugh as she and Adriana walked past.
Hugh sighed and stood up to help them. He walked over to help Carmela get the last dishes from the kitchen.
Tony looked at Hugh judgmentally as he helped the women carry things to the dining room. “Don’t get me wrong, Hugh’s a good guy and everything, but he can be a spineless fuckin’ pussy sometimes,” he said to Christopher. “I mean, this is a man who went to war. Now look at him.” He pulled a cigar out of his pocket.
“I stopped admiring soldiers soon as I found out Paulie was one.”
“…Good point.” Tony shrugged. “You want one?” he held up the cigar.
“I’m good. Thanks, Ton.”
Tony patted him on the shoulder and walked outside to light his cigar.
Janice saw him leave and approached Christopher. “Chris, it’s been a while… Ma’s funeral, I think. What a touching speech.”
“Yeah. Right.” Christopher started to walk away since he had no interest in talking to her.
Janice stood in front of him to stop him. “It’s my first thanksgiving without Ma, it’s very emotional for me.”
“Didn’t you spend like 18 thanksgivings without her?”
“It’s different now,” Janice said defensively. “I just wondered if maybe you had something that could help me get through today….” her tone made it glaringly obvious what she was implying.
“Like what?”
“Does everything have to be spelled out for you?” Janice got annoyed by how stupid he was. “Do you have coke or not?”
“No, what the fuck?” Christopher looked offended. “Why would you even ask me that?”
“Come on.” Janice knew he knew why.
They glared at each other for a few moments.
“What am I, your dealer? Get your own.” Christopher walked away from her and towards Meadow and AJ.
Janice sighed and frowned at Aaron as he slept, getting fed up of him.
Hugh walked back in the room and clapped his hands together. “Dinner’s ready!”
“Finally!” AJ got up to walk to the dining room.
“Who invited you?” Christopher shoved him back onto the couch and walked ahead of him.
“Dick!” AJ got up and went into the dining room. Christopher tripped him up before he could sit down. “Grow up!”
“I didn’t do nothing.”
“AJ, stop messing around,” Carmela blamed him as she laid out the napkins.
“It wasn’t me!”
In the living room, Hugh gestured for Meadow to go outside to Tony. “Go tell your dad dinner’s ready.”
“Like I’d ever talk to him.” Meadow walked past Hugh and headed into the dining room.
Hugh looked frustrated.
“I’ll tell him, Hugh.” Janice gestured for him to join everyone in the dining room.
Hugh nodded at her and followed after Meadow.
Everyone in the dining room started to sit down.
“Are you sure you basted it every 40 minutes?” Mary nagged at Carmela, unimpressed with how the turkey looked.
“Leave her alone, will you,” Hugh defended Carmela. “She knows how to cook a damn turkey.”
“I never said she didn’t.” Mary acted all innocent.
Janice and Tony walked towards the dining room.
“Janice…” Tony looked at her with a smirk as they walked past the couch.
“What?”
“Aren’t you forgetting something?” he playfully asked.
Janice looked confused.
Tony raised his eyebrows and looked in the direction of Aaron.
Janice turned around, following his eye line. “Shit!” She went to go wake him up.
Tony chuckled as he walked into the dining room and sat down.
“Maybe if Aaron falls asleep again we’ll get more leftovers,” AJ said as he poured himself a drink.
“AJ,” Carmela scolded him. “How would you like it if you couldn’t stay awake?”
“Getting to sleep all day? Sounds pretty good to me.”
“That’s basically what you do anyway,” Meadow insulted him as he handed her the bottle of juice.
Janice and Aaron walked in and sat down.
“You comfortable there, Aaron?” Tony asked snidely.
Aaron nodded.
“You sure? You don’t need a cushion or nothing?”
Adriana and Christopher snickered.
“I’m fine, thank you.” Aaron was confused by the laughter.
“Really, we got a whole bunch out there you can have.”
“He doesn’t need a cushion, Tony.” Janice glared at him.
“Maybe you should have some coffee?” Adriana suggested to Aaron, feeling a little sorry for him.
“We don’t believe in caffeine,” Janice spoke for him, putting a hand on his shoulder.
“It’s true, caffeine is a mind altering substance,” Aaron explained why since people looked confused. “Most people aren’t willing to accept that it’s a drug just like any other.”
Janice nodded sanctimoniously. “It’s a sin to poison ourselves.”
Christopher gave Janice an incredulous scowl.
Janice subtly gave him the finger.
“Maybe some minds need altering…” Mary muttered, judging Aaron for being narcoleptic. She looked down her nose at the turkey. “We should eat soon before the turkey gets any drier.”
“Isn’t it always dry, turkey?”
“Thank you, Christopher.” Carmela said sarcastically because most of the thanksgiving dinners he’d ever had had been cooked by her. “I’d like if we all went around and said something we’re thankful for before we eat.”
Nobody looked particularly interested.
“Don’t all shout at once,” Carmela joked.
Everyone avoided making eye contact with her.
“Okay… I’ll start. I’m thankful that I’m surrounded by my beautiful family to share this dinner that we’re very blessed to have. Ade?” Carmela asked since she was sat next to her.
“Me?” Adriana stopped twirling her hair.
Carmella nodded.
“…Same.” Adriana shrugged with disinterest.
Carmela was disappointed by the lack of imagination. “Meadow?” she asked the next person.
Meadow was happy to have an excuse to be passive aggressive towards Tony. “I’m grateful that I met people of different backgrounds this year and opened my mind to be more understanding of their experiences.”
Tony looked unimpressed.
“Ma?”
“Oh, no.” Mary gestured for Carmela to skip her. “Not me.”
Janice didn’t even give Carmela the chance to try to change Mary’s mind. “I’m thankful that I accepted Jesus Christ into my heart this past year.”
Several people gave her dubious expressions.
Aaron was asleep so everyone looked at AJ since he was next.
“…I have a higher score on Street Fighter than any of my friends?” AJ couldn’t think of anything better.
“Really, AJ? That’s the best you could come up with? Don’t you think you have anything else to be thankful for?” Carmela gestured at the large house they lived in and the large meal on the table.
“…I guess I’m pretty good at Mario Kart.” AJ shrugged.
Carmela sighed, losing hope. “Dad?”
“Oh, I don’t know.” Hugh also gestured that he wanted to be skipped.
Everyone looked at Christopher since he was next.
Christopher had stopped paying attention and had to be nudged by Tony to answer. “Oh, uh… the Knicks, I guess.”
“Would it kill this family to be profound for once?” Carmela sounded irritated. “This is a day we’re supposed to be thankful for all the things we’re so fortunate to have in life, and all we get in this house is Mario Kart and the Knicks?”
“Chrissy really likes the Knicks, Carm…” Adriana tried to placate her.
Everyone looked at Tony, the final person at the table.
“I’m thankful Bush didn’t pardon this turkey. Now can we eat the thing already?”