Work Text:
James Potter never, ever, got nervous. He faced the large crowds of Hogwarts during every Quidditch match, and he didn’t have to study to pass an exam. He often was put in detention, so any sort of authority hardly scared him. He had a great support system, where Remus calmed him, Sirius uplifted him. His parents raised him to be confident, to have faith in himself. He had no reason to ever feel nervous.
And he didn’t—not until Lily Evans was involved.
“D’ya think today is the day, Moony?”
James didn't have to turn his head to know it was Sirius speaking, so he didn’t. From where he sat at the table, he could just barely manage to make out the back of Lily’s red hair. She was standing in front of the aisle, and he assumed she had a book cracked open.
He heard Remus snort, and James knew he hadn’t even lifted his gaze from his textbook. “Doubtful.”
It wasn’t often Remus managed to drag them all into the library, but it was a cold, rainy day in late April, and they already had detention later that afternoon. There wasn’t much to do, and James was easily convinced to spend a few hours in the library, carving things into the wooden table while Sirius reclined back in his chair, feet propped onto the table. He didn’t seem to care much about the glare Madam Pince was shooting him, and James was even more oblivious to her knowing stare as he scribbled patterns with his pocket-knife. He hadn’t even realised he’d absently carved L.E. until another voice spoke.
“I think you can do it, James,” Peter added hopefully.
“No way,” James argued. “Not happening. Don’t think my heart can handle the rejection.”
“But I thought you were so sure she fancied you?”
“Oh, she certainly does,” he grinned, watching Remus flip the page while Sirius stared at it over his shoulder. It wasn’t exactly a lie—Lily had been much nicer to him recently. Hadn’t called him an arrogant toe-rag in almost two(!) weeks. (He kept a tally up in his room, Sirius teased him for it relentlessly.) And she’d even smiled at him the other day! Or perhaps it had been at Remus standing beside him, but James had still caught her eye, and the grin hadn’t faltered. That counted for something.
He felt his heart stammer at the thought. Lily’s smile wasn’t necessarily rare—but it felt like he’d just discovered an ancient artifact every time he saw her lips turn upwards. Even now, with her back facing them, leaning against the shelf toward the back, long hair reaching to her waist, she was so beautiful. She had a pair of muggle jeans on (James had never seen jeans until Hogwarts, and he reckoned he loved them. He had Lily to thank for that, too) and a loose jumper that matched her hair.
“So why don’t you ask her?”
“She’s not ready,” James said, nodding to himself.
“Sure.” Remus raised an unconvinced brow, and he tried not to blink. Out of them all, Remus did know Lily the best. Was he aware of something James wasn’t?
Nah, James thought. That was just Moony pulling his leg. He caught the little twinkle of mischief in his friend’s eye, and knew he’d been right. Remus may have seemed big and bad to everyone else, maybe even impossible to read, but James had seen that look too many times before to know that he hadn’t been serious.
Sirius, he thought again, and tried not to chuckle aloud.
“She’s not ready?” Peter echoed. “What does that mean?”
“Obviously it means that Evans hasn’t admitted her feelings to herself,” Sirius said, glancing to James for confirmation. “Right?”
“Exactly right, Pads.”
“How will you know when she’s ready?”
Lily must have sensed James’ gaze on her. Soulmate tingles, he reckoned. He briefly wondered if that was something Marlene made up to mess with him, but clearly it was real. James grinned wildly at her, but all Lily did was roll her eyes and face around again.
Remus disguised a laugh into his book, head ducked. James’ smile only deepened.
”I just will, trust me.”
”Oh, yes. She seems very fond of you.”
”I know, right?”
”Sarcasm, Prongs.”
-
“I still don’t understand how you do this willingly.”
James honestly didn’t know either, but since joining the Quidditch team it seemed almost impossible not to sleep in past seven. He liked getting active in the morning, it helped him focus for classes (not that he really used this to his advantage, might he add) and it cleared his mind. Made him feel free.
He looked to Sirius, light breeze ruffling his long black hair, (it reached his shoulders now, he’d thought about trimming it, but Moony nearly had a fit. James didn't know what all that had been about) wearing the same relaxed expression on his face, and James knew he felt the same way.
Remus, however, was bundled up in a sweater and frowning over the pitch. He didn’t usually come with them in the morning, though recently he had. Pads seemed to like it very much, so James never said anything. Not that he ever would—he enjoyed Moony’s company. But his early morning broodiness? Not so much. He still didn’t know why he insisted on coming with them, he didn’t even like Quidditch! He was just making himself miserable, really.
Their peers had grown accustomed to their early warm-ups, and sometimes they even had a small cluster of girls watching in the stands, clapping and cheering for them. James basked in it, though Sirius had grown obviously uninterested in it all over the past few months. He wondered if maybe Pads was leaving his girl-crazy phase, ready to settle down.
The thought could have made him laugh. Remus, James noticed, rolled his eyes once he caught sight of the three girls gathered around.
“Ugh,” he said. “Don’t they have anything better to do?”
James hadn’t missed the smirk on Padfoot’s face. “What’s the harm? They’re not doing anything.”
“Easy for you to say. You’re not the one who is going to sit in the stands listening them talk about the one-hundred thirty one positions they’d like to shag you in.”
“Ah. That’s what this is about.”
“It’s not about anything-”
James was grateful somebody yelled his name from behind, otherwise he’d have to listen to the two of them argue again, and he was growing quite tired with it all.
Though at the familiarity of the voice, James felt his heart drop into his stomach. “Potter,” she called again.
Remus and Sirius fell silent almost immediately, and the three of them slowly turned their heads unanimously. James struggled to pick his jaw up from the floor—she was completely alone, wearing her pin and hair pulled into a ponytail. From where he stood, he could just barely see the freckles he knew were scattered over her nose. She was alone, and she was searching for him.
“What are you doing?”
“Um.”
James felt like a complete idiot. What was he doing? Lily always asked the right questions.
“Practicing Quidditch with Padfoot.”
“We have a prefects meeting this morning.”
“I’m not a prefect.”
“You’re not.”
James blinked, then glanced to Remus. Moony hadn’t been a prefect since last term, he’d retired after claiming it was too much responsibility and he could hardly focus on keeping an eye on the Marauders. It was Moony for: “I miss you guys and these patrols are taking up my time away from you.” Or that was what James liked to think.
“I’m not either, Lily,” Remus said, brows furrowed.
James watched her expression falter and for a moment, it seemed like she was blushing. “Oh, yeah. Right. Sorry. Totally slipped my mind.”
James didn’t buy it. Clearly Lily had gone all the way out there for them. For him—more specifically. Lily Evans was totally smitten for him, it was obvious.
“Right,” Sirius answered, unconvinced. “And that’s why you were calling Prongs’s name when you approached?”
“What? No I- no. I was going to scold him for distracting Remus.”
“Remus isn’t the one distracted.”
Lily scowled at them all, gaze briefly lingering on James before she turned away. “Well. I should get going.”
This was it. James opened his mouth, then called: “Wait, Evans.”
“What?”
Go out with me, he wanted to say, but the words caught in his throat. He felt Sirius’ encouraging stare and Remus’ curious one at his back. It should have boosted his confidence, should have made him more bold. But Lily Evans was standing there looking so beautiful, so casual, gazing at him so expectedly, that James felt all of his nerves burst into flames. “Uh, have a good meeting.”
Perhaps James really was delusional, but he could have sworn Lily’s gaze flickered with something that resembled disappointment. “Right. Thanks Potter.”
“So close, Prongs,” Remus tsked.
“You’ll get her next time, mate. For sure.”
James beamed at them. “But you saw it, right? She definitely fancies me.”
Neither of them denied it, not like they usually would.
-
The Three Broomsticks was always quiet on a Sunday night. Classes were early the next morning, and most students wanted to be in their dorms ready for the next week.
Not James—certainly not the Marauders. The bar was mostly empty, only a few Hogsmeade residents sitting at the counter, half a dozen remaining staff (including Mary, who was off in her own booth, looking at her waitressing book, a Hufflepuff boy James didn't know the name of murmuring beside her, something about Evan Rosier) while Remus grabbed another round for their group.
“Sometimes,” Pete slurred, James grinned at him. He was such a lightweight. “I imagine myself as a soap opera star who travels the world.”
“What is a soap opera?” Sirius wondered. “People sing as they bathe themselves?”
Remus sighed, downing another shot of firewhiskey. James took a swig of his own butterbeer, feeling it slide down his throat until settling into his belly, and he let out a loud belch.
“Ew, James,” Mary said loudly from where she sat.
“Ignore her. That was a good one.”
“Don’t encourage him,” Remus grumbled.
“Wait- I might have another-”
“It’s my turn,” Sirius interrupted.
“For the love of God please do not start taking turns again-”
Sirius burped loudly. James turned around, already predicting that Mary would have her face buried in her hands while the Hufflepuff boy smirked over at them. “Nice one, Pads.”
“Cheers. Now you go.”
James downed more of his drink, preparing for a good one, bigger and louder than Padfoot’s, and watched in sudden horror as the Three Broomsticks door opened and Lily walked in with Marlene.
“Uh-oh,” Peter mused.
James felt faint.
“Hey, Lily!” Remus grinned evilly. James tried to rapidly shake his head, feeling the bubble of air travel back up his throat. “Over here!”
“Remus,” Sirius warned, eyes growing wide. “Do not-”
“Come sit with us! James was just telling us a story.”
“A story?” Lily raised a brow. “What kind of story?”
James was sure if he opened his mouth the burp would escape. This was absolutely mortifying.
“About the time he fought an alligator.”
“There are no alligators here.”
“Well, that’s so funny about the story. Right, Prongs?”
James just nodded. Remus folded his arms over his chest. “Why don’t you finish telling us?”
“But I’m a much better storyteller,” Sirius interjected.
“You definitely are not,” Marlene argued.
Lily stared at James suspiciously. “What, you can’t speak to me now, Potter?”
“No-” He protested immediately, unable to help himself. Godric forbid Lily thought he was annoyed with her, but the belch followed quickly after it. This one was so loud, the entire bar fell quiet. Then, someone bursted into a fit of giggles. James recognised Mary’s laugh instantly and turned to shoot her a look.
“Lovely,” Lily commented, unimpressed. “Anyway, Marlene, let’s go find a table.”
James squeezed his eyes shut. “I hate my life.”
Sirius reached over and clasped him on the shoulder, soothingly.
-
James much preferred the sun. He loathed winter, the overuse of warming spells, jumpers, snow. He’d rather lay under a tree for some shade, chase Sirius around the backyard, barefoot. Eat some of those muggle popsicles Remus liked so much.
It appeared most of the Hogwarts students felt the same, they lounged all around the courtyards, the fields by the Quidditch pitch. Almost all of the windows in the halls were open, catching a breeze. James reclined his head against the bench, legs sprawled out before him.
“I think I’m still in the game.”
“You’re in jail.”
“How am I supposed to get out?”
“I told you already, you have to roll doubles.”
“I meant with Evans.”
“We are in the middle of a Monopoly game and that's how you decide to word your question?”
“Have some dignity, Potter.”
“Oi, shut it, Black.”
Sirius looked up at that, though James hadn’t been speaking to him. He shot Padfoot a small little smile, and Sirius returned it. “I agree.”
“Knew you’d have my back, Pads.”
“You burped in her face,” Mary reminded him, leg casually thrown over Regulus Black’s, who was reading the instructions paper. James hadn’t known when that started, he hadn’t even known Mary was in contact with Sirius’ brother. Padfoot had been the one to discover their little secret, though James supposed it added up. Mary had been sneaking off more often than not, and he’d been seeing Regulus in the halls that year more than he ever had in the past.
“It was not in her face.”
“Sure.”
“I don’t understand this game,” Regulus admitted when Mac leaned forward to move his character four spaces down. “What is free parking?”
“I told you, you get to collect the money in the middle. Parking is for cars.”
”Oh, the automobile. Yes, I remember now.”
Regulus was always very quiet, and though his shoulders relaxed with Mary patting his arm, he still seemed uneasy, as if the affection in front of everyone made him very nervous.
“Confusing, right?” Sirius asked, cautiously, as if afraid his voice would upset Regulus. “We should bring back catch the knife.”
“Hm,” Regulus answered with. Sirius didn’t let on whether he was satisfied or disappointed with that answer, he just rolled the dice.
“I don’t even want to know.”
“You really don't,” Remus agreed.
“Pay fifty galleons,” Peter huffed when it was his turn. “Greedy bastards. I don’t have enough.”
“Bankrupt,” Mary told him. “You’re out.”
“What the hell? I don’t like this game.”
James patted him on the back, reaching for the dice, and pausing upon seeing Lily exit the building into the courtyard. She spotted them almost immediately, and James’ stomach did a little turn over when she caught his gaze. She didn’t break it, either, not until Mac waved her over, and her eyes shifted to her friend.
“There you are.”
“I told you,” Lily replied when she was within earshot. “I needed to finish the essay.”
“It’s a Saturday.”
“And?”
“The grind doesn’t stop,” James tried to help. Each head turned to him in genuine confusion. “Yeah, I don’t know what that means either. I just made it up. Sounds cool though, right?”
“You sound like a tosser.”
“That’s a compliment coming from you, Evans.”
“Ooh, you arrogant git.”
“I think you like it. You’re the one who keeps coming back for more.”
“I came over here for Mary.”
“Yet here you are speaking to me.”
Lily fell silent at that, pale cheeks flushing and prompting James to deepen his grin. “Yes. Unfortunately.”
”Nothing unfortunate about it.”
”For you.”
”Quite true, Evans. I am always happy to speak with you.”
Lily’s face went blank, like she’d just stubbed her toe and was trying not to react. “Anyway,” she said, “can I join the game?”
Mary, who had been watching the entire interaction with a small, knowing smile, nodded. “Yeah, sure. I’ll deal you in.”
“It’s not poker.”
“It’s so fun to say it like that. Party pooper.”
“Oh, fine. Deal me in.”
James watched Lily settle across from him, next to Peter, who was still sulking from being out of the game so soon. As Mac counted out the money fairly for Lily, James caught himself staring. It was instinct at that point, watching her. It felt impossible to pay attention to anything else when Lily was around. She captivated him without even trying.
She met his eye again, and for a moment James felt like the rest of the world faded away. Her lip quirked, and he caught the faintest twitch of her brow. It was so sudden— the sound of Sirius’ laugh faded to black, and all he could focus on was Lily.
And apparently, it would remain such for a very long time. James didn’t know how to stop it. Maybe the key was to no longer fight it, ignore the nerves and admit the truth. That James Potter had been pining after her for years, and Lily Evans was finally ready.
-
“Ew, God. Don’t wear that. You look like a paper bag.”
“You look fine, Prongs. Mary is just projecting.”
“Projecting what? I always look good. And I’m helping him.”
“You’re not even going on a date. What’s it matter how you look, anyway?”
“First impressions are everything.”
“Your first impression was six years ago.”
“So not the point.”
“What? I’m just saying.”
”I need her to know I am serious about her. I can't look stupid.”
“I’m Sirius.”
James heard a loud oomph! and assumed Mary had thrown a pillow at him. “Anyway,” Remus sighed. “Lily sees how you dress every day. I just don’t get it.”
“There’s nothing wrong with putting in a little effort.”
“What? What’s that supposed to mean?”
Mary snapped her fingers and they immediately fell quiet. “Today is not about you two. Stop arguing and help James.”
James smirked at her—Mary had always been exceptionally well at putting people in their place, even if it was his best friends. He was always too nice, he had Remus for bluntness, but Mary never hesitated on speaking how she felt either. She shot him a sideways glance, returning the smile.
“Fine,” Remus muttered.
“Try this one,” Mary said, handing James another shirt. “It goes good with your skin tone.”
“What is Lily doing, anyway?” Sirius asked. Casually, James pulled his shirt over his head to tug on the one Mary suggested.
“Library, I think,” she said, frowning at James’ shirt. “Oh, no. There’s a stain. Come here, I know a spell.”
James did as asked, politely looking up as Mary murmured the spell. “Cheers.”
“‘Course,” she nodded. “Okay, what are you going to say?”
“Try not to stutter.”
“Or burp.”
“Or blabber.”
“Or talk about how you tried to use engorgo on your dick third year.”
“You two are horrible,” Mary accused, smiling sympathetically at James who felt very pale. “Just be casual. Try it. Practice on us.”
James inhaled. “Evans, will you go out on a date with me?”
“Don't use the last name. It’s got to mean something.”
“I’ve always called her that.”
“Yeah, but this is different. It’s uncharted territory.”
“It’s very charted. In my head.”
Mary rolled her eyes. “Call her Lily.”
“Doesn’t my brother call you Macdonald?” Sirius wondered. “Is there a difference?”
“Yes. First names are meaningful. If we’re having a real discussion he calls me Mary. This is something sentimental. Trust me.”
“Fine. Lily, will you go out with me?”
“Never mind,” Mary said quickly. “Sounds too unnatural. Stick to Evans.”
“I thought it sounded just fine.”
“You guys are giving me whiplash.”
“Do her whole name.”
“They aren’t getting married.”
“Just try it! Maybe it’ll sound better. You never know, Mac.”
“Lily Evans, will you go out with me?”
“What?”
James nearly tripped over his own feet, whirling around at the new voice coming from the doorway. Each of their mouths parted in genuine shock while Lily stared at him, wide-eyed. Bloody Sirius, he cursed silently. He always forgot to lock the door.
“Potter-” she started again. “What did you-”
“Oh Merlin.”
“Did you just ask me out when I wasn’t in the room?”
“He does it quite often, honestly.”
“Moony!”
“Lily, I meant come later for your book,” Remus explained.
“Yes, well you didn’t specify that part!” She said, very quickly. It was impossible for James not to notice the high blush on her cheeks. “I’ll just- I-”
“Evans,” he said, feeling his heart pound in his ribcage. “Wait. Wait a second.”
“If you’re about to say something stupid, James, just save it-”
“Will you go out with me?” He asked, nearing her and lowering his voice so their overly nosey friends couldn’t hear him.
He really hoped he wouldn’t faint at whatever her answer was.
“Is this real?” She asked, making him blink. “Or is it just another one of your pranks?”
“Not a prank,” James assured, growing desperate for an answer. He’d wondered if the longing in his chest was obvious in his eyes. “Real. One hundred percent real.”
She watched him in that way she always did—and it made his breathing short. “Okay,” Lily said, still unsure as if he were about to burst out and say it was a joke. “Yes, Potter. I’ll go out with you.”