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Chapter Text

Most people would be surprised to learn that Sirius Orion Black was a quiet baby. By the time he was a year old, he could typically be found toddling silently through the big empty hallways of 12 Grimmauld Place or sitting outside watching various bugs roam the garden. Sirius didn’t feel the need to talk, not when he spent so much time wandering around with no one to listen. Occasionally, his cousins would visit and chatter on about anything and everything that they could, but he just smiled and nodded, adding in a few comments here and there. He was probably the most poised and polite toddler in all of England, something that his parents took great pleasure in gloating about in front of their peers. Really, it wasn’t that he was overly polite, he just didn’t have anything to say. That all changed the summer of 1961. 

. . .

Regulus Arcturus Black was born two months too early, a fact that he was greatly displeased by if his relentless wailing was any indicator. Sirius stood outside of his parents’ bedroom and listened as his mother screamed and cursed for hours on end. His father was down in his office and Kreacher kept popping in and out of rooms to fetch different things that the midwife needed. Sirius sat quietly and waited, dozing off occasionally with his head propped against his knees. At one point, Kreacher snapped at him that he should be in bed and not bothering the mistress, but Sirius ignored him. 

After a full day and half a night of waiting, the nervous energy that permeated the air snapped. His mother let out one final scream and tiny cries rang through the air. Sirius shot to his feet and stood in shock as the midwife rushed out of the room with a bundle of bloody blankets clutched in her arms. 

She stumbled to avoid tripping on him and cursed, sending him a faint glare but continuing down the stairs with haste. He watched as the baby’s wails faded and the woman rushed into the floo, shouting out the name of St. Mungo’s. In a flash of light, she was gone. The house was silent once again. 

Regulus didn’t come home for two weeks. Walburga was back on her feet and snapping at Sirius the next day, her stomach already as flat as it was seven months ago. She had never quite reached that plump, glowing look that most mothers obtained during pregnancy, but he still thought that she must’ve used magic to shrink back down so quickly. He tried to ask about the baby, but all that she said was to go busy himself elsewhere, he’d meet Regulus when he came home from the hospital. That was how Sirius learned his new brother’s name. 

Regulus, he thought, smiling softly as he traced the new name beside his on the family tapestry. Heart of the lion. 

 . . .

Sirius woke up to the sound of his door swinging open. He sat up and rubbed his eyes to get a better look at the stern figure stood in his doorway. 

“Get dressed,” Walburga demanded. “We’re going to pick up your brother from St. Mungo’s.” 

Sirius sucked in a breath and flew out of bed, stumbling over to his wardrobe and grabbing the first set of robes that he could find. He was down the stairs in record time, pausing to lace up his shoes when his mother tsked and gave the back of his head a light slap. 

“Pull yourself together, Sirius. You are the Heir to the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black, I won’t have you embarrassing us by looking like an overexcited puppy in public.”

“Yes, Mother,” he mumbled, lowering his head and lacing his hands together. 

“Speak clearly, boy.” Orion’s deep voice rang out. He joined the two of them in front of the floo and checked his timepiece with a scowl. “Let’s make this quick, I have a meeting with Abraxas and Alphard at 10.” 

Sirius tried his very best to stay still and silent as they stepped into the pediatric ward at St. Mungo’s, but he could feel his limbs practically vibrating with a fluttery excitement at the prospect of finally meeting his new baby brother. He had to jog a little to keep up with his parents’ long strides as they passed the nurse’s station and made their way down the long cream colored hall. 

A witch in deep blue robes looked up at their approach and smiled tightly. “Hello Lord and Lady Black, I take it you’re here to sign out little Regulus?”

“Yes, if you could send one of your employees to fetch him, I’m afraid we’re in a bit of a hurry.” Orion said sharply, wrinkling his nose at the quill on the desk and pulling a much nicer one out of his robe to sign the paperwork. The witch’s eye twitched slightly. 

“Of course, sir.” She beckoned a similarly dressed wizard over and leaned to whisper something in his ear. His gaze flicked over the Black family and his mouth grew pinched, but nonetheless he nodded and strode off. 

Sirius rocked back and forth on his feet as they waited and his father signed paper after paper with his fancy green quill. I have a brother , he thought as a grin wormed its way onto his face. Walburga was too busy turning her nose up at the various other parents mingling about to notice his cheerful demeanor, but the mediwitch caught his eye and he froze. Her previously stiff smile softened into something more genuine. “Are you excited to have a new sibling?” She leaned across the counter to address him. 

His parents’ eyes cut sharply to him and he gulped. Mind your words, boy. “U-um, yes? Yeah,” He nodded and looked at the floor nervously. He could feel his mother’s glare burning a hole in the top of his head. 

The woman didn’t seem to mind his stutter, though. “He’s a sweet little thing, but I’m sure he’s been pretty lonely here in that room all by himself. I bet he’s excited to go home with his big brother!” 

Sirius felt the air around his parents darken at her cheerful yet pointed words. He hadn’t thought about that, Regulus was all alone here while they had all stayed home over the past two weeks. Why was he even here? Walburga wouldn’t tell him why he had to be rushed off so quickly, nor why it had taken so long for him to come home. 

“We’ve all been so antsy waiting for him to come home, but he arrived so early that we couldn’t help but have to stay home and get his room ready. Sirius is very much looking forward to teaching his younger brother all of the things he’s been learning as of late.” Walburga simpered to the nurse. The blue-clad woman opened her mouth to respond but was interrupted by the arrival of the wizard from earlier with a light blue blanket in his arms. 

Sirius pulled himself onto his tip-toes to try and catch a glimpse of the baby’s face, but found that he was still far too short. The man holding Regulus smiled and ducked down onto one knee, tipping the bundle in his direction. “Here he is.”

Sirius gave the man a wary look before stepping forward, placing his little hand on the man’s leg to balance himself as he leaned forward to look at his brother for the first time. 

His breath caught in his throat. Big silver eyes a few shades lighter than his own stared up at him unblinkingly, framed by long lashes and soft pale skin. He didn’t seem to have any eyebrows yet, but there was a small tuft of dark brown hair sticking out of the blanket. The baby wriggled around a bit and a tiny arm emerged from the folds, a little hand reaching up towards Sirius. 

“Hi, baby,” he whispered, moving his own hand forward. Regulus grabbed two of his fingers in a surprisingly strong grip and gurgled happily. “I’m your big brother.” 

“He’s tiny.” Walburga cut in sharply. Sirius glanced up to find her glaring at the mediwitch. “Sirius was not that small.”

The woman looked like she was struggling to maintain professional decorum as she regarded his mother. “Well, Regulus was born very early. It’s a miracle that he’s as healthy as he is, but due to his premature status it’s likely that he’ll always be rather small. Most babies born this early have weaker immune systems as well, we can send you home with a pamphlet-”

“The boy is a Black, he is stronger than other children. We don’t need you to make excuses for him.” Orion proclaimed. 

Sirius felt nauseous. He looked back at the baby to find those vivid eyes still looking up at him curiously, unbothered by the harsh words of their father. Regulus’s face brightened as he noticed his older brother’s attention back on him. Sirius felt his heart clench. In that moment, with his brother’s too tiny hand in his, he swore to himself that he would always take care of this baby. His baby. Sirius might only be a toddler now, but he had always been told he was advanced, his Black blood making him smarter than other kids his age. Regulus seemed so fragile compared to him, so Sirius made a silent vow. 

No matter what happens, what our parents say and do, or where our lives take us, I will always be there to protect you, Regulus. I promise. 

If the adults were too busy arguing to notice the thin golden thread that wrapped around the boys’ intertwined fingers, then that was something Sirius would keep to himself. 

Chapter Text

Four-year-old Regulus crept down the hallway to his brother’s room under the cover of night, the light of familiar stars guiding his way. He reached above his head to grasp the doorknob and pulled the door open with a low creak. 

“Siri,” he whispered. “Are you awake?”

The lump on the bed whined. Regulus padded across the room softly and pulled himself up on top of the covers, sitting atop the mass of blankets with a huff. 

“C’mon wake up, it’s past midnight!” 

Sirius poked his head out to squint up at the other boy. “Wha’s tha matter?” 

Silver eyes gleamed with joy. “Happy birthday!” 

“Wha?” 

“Get up, we have to go outside!” 

“Reggie,” Sirius whined, “It’s bloody freezing out.”

“It’s still autumn,” Regulus huffed. “C’mon, you have to!”

“I regret this tradition more and more every year.” The older boy moaned and wiggled his way out of the pile of blankets. “Let’s go, you little imp.” 

The four-year-old scrambled after his brother and let out a small oof as a robe was thrown into his face. Knowing better than to argue, Regulus threw the fur-lined fabric over his shoulders and stuck his arms into the draped sleeves that were far too long for him. Sirius had already put on his own robe and grabbed the other’s hand, the two boys slipping silently through the halls. They expertly avoided any creaky boards and stuck to the soft carpets as they made their way out to the back door. 

There was a heavy chill to the air in the modest garden behind the Black family home, but neither of the boys who frequented the space seemed to particularly mind as they settled onto a flat rock by the area where the perennials came in every spring. Sirius draped an arm around Regulus’s shoulders and pulled the smaller boy against his side. They sat in silence for a while, looking up at the night sky and simply basking in each other’s presence. 

“I can see you tonight.” Sirius used his free hand to point at the faint light next to the moon. 

Regulus hummed. “You’re far brighter though, I won’t be fully visible for a few more months.” 

“Sorry, little star. I’m afraid I just shine too brightly for anyone else to be noticed.”

“Except Orion.”

“No one likes Orion, he’s lame.”

“Oh, look! There’s Andy!”

“See, princesses are way cooler than hunters.”

“Animals are better.”

“Couldn’t agree more, Reggie!”

The boys giggled and let the exchange drop off. They continued to sit comfortably and watched their families’ namesakes until their fingers started to go numb from the cold. The two of them had done this for every single one of their birthdays since Regulus turned one. They would wait until midnight and then sneak out to the garden to watch the stars together. Sometimes, they would make up different stories about the constellations and pretend that Leo was a man who had been cursed to become a lion after failing to be brave, or Aquarius was a mermaid lost at sea when her constellation wasn’t visible. It was fun, and they both looked forward to it despite any complaints that might be made. 

“Let’s head inside, don’t want that nasty cold to come back.” Sirius nudged his brother and hopped off the rock. He held out his hands as Regulus scooted to the edge and swept him around by the armpits to land on his feet. The little boy laughed and grabbed the elder’s hand once he was stable, sending one final look upwards to Canis Major. 

Happy birthday, brother. I hope we get to spend the rest of them just like this. He could’ve sworn the star shined a little brighter at his wish. An unwanted shiver took hold of his body and Sirius frowned, pulling on his hand to guide him closer to the house. 

Regulus rolled his eyes. “Worrywart.” 

“Oh, forgive me for not wanting you to get sick, how terrible of me to even think such a thing. Where did you learn that word, anyways?”

“Uncle Alphard.”

“Tell him to stop teaching you big words.”

“What, like megalomaniac ?”

“What does that even mean?”

“I dunno, he was talking about Father and told Andy that ‘Orion is too much of a megalomaniac to do that, stop being such a worrywart.’”

“We should look it up, I bet it’s an insult.”

“I don’t know how to spell it.”

“With your big brain and my dashing wit? I’m sure we can figure it out.”

“I don’t think-” Regulus’s words got caught in his throat as his breath stuttered. 

He was surrounded by water. Hundreds of hands grasped at him, sharp nails cutting into his skin as he was dragged down, down, down. He was so thirsty. There was too much water, in his hair, his ears, his throat. Regulus was drowning. He tried to scream but was just so thirsty, he had to keep drinking. One of the hands grabbed the side of his open mouth and a thin, frail arm slipped down his throat. It grappled for something to hold onto and ended up tearing through his esophagus for a better grip. He felt more water rush in through the new hole in his neck and just kept drinking. He was so thirsty. 

“Regulus!”

Suddenly, the thirst was gone. Sirius’s face was hovering over him, twisted with terror as the sensation of hands on his body narrowed down to the two cradling him desperately close to his brother’s body. 

“Siri-” he choked and pulled to the side, just barely managing to turn his head in time for a slew of murky water to come pouring out of his mouth. 

“Bloody hell,” Sirius turned him sideways and brushed the hair out of his face, his other arm still keeping a protective hold around his torso. Regulus coughed and gagged as the last bits of liquid spilled from his throat onto the frost-covered grass. He continued to dry heave as he gulped down the fresh air, frantically trying to rid himself of the water in his lungs. 

“You’re okay, Reg. Just let it all out.” Sirius was murmuring a gentle stream of sweet nothings, even as his trembling hands betrayed his anxiety. “I’ve got you, baby.”

Regulus started crying. His brother shifted his grip so that he was cradling the younger boy in his lap and placed a soft kiss on top of his head. They sat like that for a few minutes, the sobs eventually settling down into hiccups as he pressed his face into Sirius’s shoulder. A hand ran up and down his spine in a soothing manner. 

“What the fuck just happened?” 

“Language,” Regulus sniffled.

“Reggie, you were drowning . We were just standing in the garden and all of a sudden you were choking and there was nothing I could do and-”

“I was thirsty.”

Sirius looked down at him incredulously. “What?”

Regulus wiggled uncomfortably and the arms around him tightened imperceptibly. “I was really, really thirsty. There was water everywhere, and there were so many hands on me and in me and they were pulling me down and I just couldn’t-”

“Breathe, Reggie.” 

He inhaled shakily. “I don’t know what happened, Siri. I just know that I was really thirsty, but I was also drowning, and then suddenly it all just stopped.” 

Sirius took a deep breath. “Okay. Okay, we’ll just - fuck - I don’t know. We can’t ask Mom and Dad, maybe Uncle Alphard could help? No, he’s shit at keeping secrets. Andy? No, Druella might find out and then she’d tell Mother. Alright, here’s what we’re gonna do.” He leveled his brother with a serious look. “You and I are going to scour the library for anything we can find on what the hell just happened, and then we’re going to make sure that it never happens again.”

Regulus nodded miserably and let his head fall back against Sirius’s chest. It was a pitiful solution at best, but what else could they do? Mother and Father already saw him as a screw up, the weak child that should have either died or been stronger. If they knew that he was getting strange drowning visions that were making him even more sick, they ship him off to some long-term care facility and pretend he didn’t exist. 

Wait, visions. 

Regulus gasped. “I think I have an idea of where to start.”

Chapter Text

Never let it be said that the Black brothers were anything less than child prodigies. Both boys were currently sitting on the floor of their infamous family library flipping through texts that should have been far too advanced for either of their ages. Most four-year-olds couldn’t even sound out the title of a book, much less read and understand A Complete History of Known Seers: Northern Hemisphere Edition. Regulus had already skimmed the more interesting entries, but was now scowling at his companion as Sirius read a passage from his own book - A Modern Day Practitioner’s Guide to Divination - aloud. 

“The modern day witch or wizard will likely think of prophecies when they hear the word Seer . However, prophetic texts are only a small part of the complex inner workings regarding the art of divination. While true Seers are rare, their visions can manifest in a number of different ways, only one of which is prophecies. Many practitioners have reported their visions coming in the form of dreams or vivid hallucinations. One memorable witch remembered nothing that she saw, but possessed a room full of paintings that she had done while in a sight trance . A number of Seers have also made note of physical side effects that accompany their visions, be it headaches from the strain or physical sensations associated with the event that they saw. Some researchers have found a correlation between strength of the sensation and how powerful the practitioner is, with stronger ability lending to an increased potency of side effects.”

Sirius gave his brother a dry smile. “Well congrats, Reggie. Based on this I’d say you’re a pretty damn powerful Seer.”

Regulus groaned and scrubbed his hands over his face. “What’s a sight trance?” 

Sirius turned back to the book and flipped through a few pages. “ Ehem , a sight trance is a mental state that comes into effect whenever a Seer experiences a vision. The trance is different for everyone, but there is consistent evidence to support the claim that the practitioner in question temporarily loses all recognition of the world around them and is sucked completely into their vision. Attempts made by an outside force to break the trance have so far been unsuccessful, as a Seer only regains full consciousness once the vision has run its course.” 

“Lovely,” Regulus grumbled. 

“Maybe this was just a one time thing?” Sirius didn’t quite sound like he believed his own words. “You could’ve just had an episode of accidental magic, or maybe someone cursed you!” 

“Oh how comforting, I could just have a stranger out to get me instead of being a member of one of the most hunted wizarding subclasses that exists.” Regulus regretted the words as soon as he saw the dawning look of horror on the older boy’s face. “I’m sure I’ll be fine, Siri. We don’t even know for sure that I am a Seer, let’s just keep this to ourselves for now and see what happens. Who knows, maybe you’re right and this was just some weird one off incident.” 

Sirius nodded hesitantly, but the look of concern stayed. 

Regulus tapped his thigh nervously and went back to his book. Hopefully this really was just a one time thing. 

. . .

It absolutely was not a one time thing. The brothers spent the next three months walking on eggshells, waiting nervously for the ball to drop. The holidays came and went with little fanfare, the winter months dragging on as everyone grew impatient for the first blooms of spring. 

Regulus was sitting in Sirius’s room after dinner one night listening to him read a muggle storybook that Andy had secretly gifted them for Yule when the vision hit. One second, he was listening to his older brother’s soothing voice regale the tale of three clever pigs and a wolf who could never seem to learn. The next, he was drowning. 

It was different than last time. The hands were there, his lungs were full of water, and he was still thirsty, but he could also think. Those thoughts had inevitably turned to Sirius. Sirius, the brave lion of the snake den who had managed to escape their parents and make a better life for himself, leaving Regulus behind. His big brother, the one that promised to always be there for him, off gallivanting with his friends while Regulus died cold, frightened, and alone. He hoped that what he had done would be enough, that his betrayal would aid in the downfall of the Dark Lord. He hoped that his friends would not suffer- 

Regulus was choking again. This time, he was already on his side when the water was forcibly evicted from his windpipe through a series of hacking coughs. Sirius’s voice was trembling a little as he murmured soothing words and traced circles onto the younger boy’s chest. Once all the water was gone, the sobs came. Just like in the garden, Regulus was gathered up against his favorite person and cried into his neck as Sirius rubbed his arm to banish the lasting sensation of cold. 

“Deep breaths, Reggie. I’ve got you.” Sirius started humming quietly as he rocked back and forth, trying his best to soothe the panic that the vision wrought upon both himself and the boy in his arms. “ Au clair de la lune, mon ami Pierrot. Prête-moi ta plume, pour écrire un mot. ”

The room filled with the sound of soft singing and sad sniffling. By the time Sirius had reached the end of the lullaby, the younger boy was lying against him with half-lidded eyes and ruddy pink cheeks. Regulus might’ve fallen asleep if not for the cough that ripped its way out of his torso unexpectedly. 

“I swear to God, if these stupid visions give you pneumonia I’m going to riot.” 

A wet sounding giggle followed the cough, but faded quickly as he slumped against Sirius in exhaustion. “I don’t know how to deal with this, Siri. No one has ever found a way to prevent visions, how am I supposed to live with the knowledge that I could just start drowning anywhere at any time?” 

“Don’t talk like that, before long we’ll both be at Hogwarts and we can work together to find a solution to your sight problem. Until then, we keep this to ourselves and try to make sure you don’t have an episode in front of anyone else. We start looking for warning signs that a vision is coming and track their frequency so that we can at least try to predict when they’re going to happen. You should start keeping a journal to record what you see and we can determine what the hell is so important that your magic thinks it’s worth putting you in pain for.” Sirius sighed and dropped his chin on top of his brother’s head. “But there’s no denying it now, little star. You are most definitely a Seer.” 

Bollocks.

Chapter Text

Regulus drowned eight more times over the next three years. He started having visions of smaller things - what kind of pie Kreacher was going to make, what Mother’s next grievance with him would be, and annoyingly, the end of the book he was currently reading - about a year ago. The more tame visions typically happened while he was sleeping, but sometimes they struck at random points throughout the day. Sirius said that whenever this happened, his eyes would glaze over for a moment and he would go unresponsive. One time Regulus did this while they were practicing quidditch and directed his despondent silver gaze towards his brother to say “duck.” Sirius narrowly avoided losing his eye to the snitch (which the younger boy promptly caught) and was sufficiently creeped out. 

The boys found a common love for quidditch over the years and would spend their summers taking frequent trips to Uncle Alphard’s manor to play two-person games in his sprawling backyard. It was during one of these games that 7-year-old Regulus was struck with another vision, this one different from all the rest. 

The grassy field was gone in an instant, replaced with a large, dark chamber illuminated by sharp cracks of light coming from all around him. Wands, he recognized vaguely. They’re fighting . This was the first time he’d ever had a vision where it truly felt like he was just watching an event unfold, not taking any active part in its progression. I wonder why that is. 

His answer to that came when his eyes fell upon a figure that was both familiar in a bone deep way and also a complete stranger to him. The unknown man had wild black hair and stormy grey eyes set into a sallow face, signs of aging showing in the form of crinkly crow’s feet. Sirius , he realized with a start. The man across from him was Sirius, albeit much older than the version he had come to know and love. Regulus took in his gaunt appearance in a new light, wondering what the hell had happened to make his older brother look so sickly. He was pale now in a way that looked decidedly ill, not in the porcelain doll-esque manner that both of the young Black brothers seemed to maintain despite how much time they spent in the sun. 

Regulus reached out for him just as Sirius was raising his wand towards the person in front of him. The woman’s face was obscured by a mane of coiled brown hair, but he didn’t need to see her expression to know that she was not all there in the head. The way she held herself felt unhinged and her aura screamed danger. Regulus wanted to yell at his brother to get away from the woman, but his mouth was glued shut and his feet were stuck to the ground as he was forced to watch the scene unfold with growing dread. 

There was another flash of light and Sirius’s eyes widened as he wasn’t fast enough to stop the spell that hit him directly in the torso. He flew back and Regulus heard an echoing scream as he watched his brother fall through a veiled archway. 

He was dead. The fact hit Regulus like a train, followed by the odd sensation of falling. 

“Reggie!”

Oh, right. They were playing quidditch. Only, the rules of the game stipulated that you had to stay on your broom at all times for the entirety of the match. Based on the wind whipping through his hair and the lack of a broomstick in his hands, it was safe to assume that Regulus would’ve been disqualified were this a regular game. 

The knowledge that he was going to land face first in the dirt from a hundred foot drop was overshadowed by the understanding that he had just watched his brother die. Sirius, his big brother, the person he loved most in the world, was going to die before he turned forty. He looked bad in the vision, but it was obvious that he was still young despite his sickly appearance. And he didn’t just die, he was murdered. 

There was a flash of movement underneath him and Regulus felt his head crack against something at the same time that an arm banded around his stomach in a vice-like grip. His fall came to a screeching halt as labored breathing wracked through the person holding onto him. 

“Bloody fucking hell, Reg.” Sirius was twisted at an uncomfortable angle where his legs and left arm were wrapped tightly around his broom while his right arm had snatched Regulus’s limp figure out of the air and was holding him tightly against the side of his torso. He shifted to get a better hold on the boy and flew them to the ground at a much more controlled pace than they had been going previously, what with his younger brother’s sudden interest in skydiving. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Sirius was mumbling as he lowered them down to the grassy floor. “C’mon, Reggie. Open your eyes, baby.”

Huh, he hadn’t even realized they were closed. He wanted to open them, to listen to his brother and do what he said, but he just couldn’t get rid of the image of older Sirius’s face right before he fell. He was terrified, desperate for anyone or anything to step forward and help him . Regulus managed to crack his eyes open and was met with the exact same expression on a far younger face. He laid there, frozen as he stared up at the look of abject horror that was ingrained into his mind. 

He’s going to die , he thought helplessly. Sirius Black was going to suffer a horrible death and there was nothing he could do to stop it. 

Vaguely, he was aware of words being spoken to him. After a while of soothing hands and babbled words yielding no response, Regulus felt himself being scooped up by a pair of warm arms. He felt fuzzy, like his mind was separate from his body and all he could do was stare blankly up at the face that was haunting him. His body was settled down onto something soft and Sirius disappeared from his vision. He wanted to cry out but was stuck, blank gaze directed up at an equally empty ceiling. A new, deeper voice entered his muffled brain and a faint blue glow appeared somewhere off to his left. 

“What’s wrong with him?”

“I’m not sure, the diagnostic charm is showing a mild head injury from where he hit his head but other than that it’s not picking up anything.”

“There’s blood all over his face and he’s completely unresponsive, how in the world is that considered mild?” 

“Head wounds tend to bleed a lot more, I’m sure once we wipe it all away the cut will be relatively small. I’m not sure about the unresponsiveness, though. His eyes are open but it’s like he can’t even see us. Has anything like this ever happened before?”

“No! Well, sort of, but not to this extent! He zones out sometimes but it’s only ever for a few seconds.”

“Define ‘zones out’. Is he just losing focus or is it something more?”

“I-I can’t tell you.”

“Hm, well, then we have two options. We can either take him to St. Mungo’s or, if you feel that this could just be an extreme case of him ‘zoning out’, we can take turns watching him and wait until morning to see if he snaps out of it. Either way, I’m going to have to floo your parents and tell them something.”

Regulus let his mind drift away from the conversation. He felt bad, Sirius was probably going to get in trouble because of him, but he just couldn’t seem to pull himself out of the fog he had fallen into. He’s going to die. Silver eyes slipped shut as he simply laid there and let the new knowledge fit in with his previous visions. He’s going to die, and there’s nothing I can do to stop it because I’m going to die first. Regulus realized sometime after his fifth drowning that he was experiencing his own death in those visions. He remembered sobbing in his bed and avoiding everyone for a few days after he felt his soul be ripped from his body by those spindly hands. Sirius was understandably concerned, it had taken about a week for him to break down and confess his realization. 

Now, he knew that they would both die horribly. Must be a family trait, he thought morbidly. I just wish there was something I could do to stop it -

Wasn’t there? He would die first, yes, but if he could just get some more information then who’s to say that he couldn’t change their futures? Regulus thought back to all of the books he’d read about Seers for any information on practitioners that were able to use their Sight to alter what they saw. Marelius Northcutt in 1907 reportedly dreamt that his beloved family cat would disappear, so he kept the cat inside the day it was supposed to vanish and it proceeded to live for another three years. Solomon Flavius had a vision that his rival would invent a brilliant dental restoration potion in 1939, so he used the knowledge to invent it first. Regulus himself had a dream last month that Kreacher was going to make boiled eggs and hash for breakfast, so he requested the elf make cinnamon bread instead. He could change things and make sure that Sirius - and himself - didn’t have such a terrible end. But he needed more information, he couldn’t just tell the boy to stay away from ominous veiled archways and hope for the best. No, Regulus needed to learn how to look into the future internationally and hunt for specific events instead of sitting around and hoping for something to hit him. He needed to teach himself how to induce a vision so that he could find his brother’s murderer and prevent his gruesome death. He had to. 

He didn’t know what he’d do if he failed.

Chapter Text

Sirius was worried. He’d stayed up late that night, hovering over his little brother’s still form and waiting for him to wake up. Alphard forced him to go to bed after he fell asleep the second time, but he was plagued by nightmares of what had happened out in the field. He remembered looking back and seeing Regulus’s smile light up his whole face as joy surged through the older boy. They so rarely got to play together without worrying about their parents scolding them for participating in “frivolous games” that were supposed to be beneath them. The afternoons that they got to spend at Alphard’s country estate were priceless. 

Those memories were now tainted by the image of Regulus going limp and slipping off of his broom, plummeting to the ground at a frightening speed. Sirius had just barely managed to catch him in time, but even once they were safely out of the air, the seven-year-old was completely unresponsive. His beautiful silver eyes that were always so full of life had gone vacant and unseeing despite the focus they had on his face. 

Sirius could have sworn that it felt like a siren was going off in his head the moment that Regulus fell. There was this feeling of insistent panic that persisted throughout the night as he tried not to think about how far away he was from the younger boy downstairs. He drifted off in one of his uncle’s many guest rooms and woke with a start early the next morning, the thought of Reggie's dull eyes spurring him out of bed. He didn't even bother to wash his face before flying down the staircase and into the living room. The anxious tugging at his heart had only eased once he laid eyes on the small boy sleeping soundly on the sofa, no sign of having yet awoken. 

This wasn’t the first time that Sirius had felt strange when Regulus was in danger. Three weeks ago he had cut his finger while helping Kreacher peel potatoes and the older boy had felt a faint throbbing in his thumb from across the house. Reg had slipped on a patch of ice last winter while they were walking somewhere and Sirius had whipped around to catch him before he even had the chance to cry out. He knew it probably wasn’t normal to feel so in tune with his brother’s state of well being, but it was damn convenient when said brother was both accident prone and liable to hide his injuries from everyone. 

He ignored the fact that every time this happened, he could’ve sworn his finger glowed a little. 

“Siri?” A quiet mumble snapped him out of his train of thoughts as Regulus shifted awake. Relief flooded through him at the sight of clear silver eyes staring at him in confusion. 

“Hey, little star.” He reached over to brush the hair out of the younger boy’s eyes. “How are you feeling?”

Regulus frowned and lifted a hand to touch the bandage on his temple. “Did I hit my head?” 

Sirius hummed and tried not to let his fingers shake at the memory of his head bashing against the side of the broom. “Yeah, but Uncle Alphard gave you some potions to help with the headache. Are you feeling sore at all? Any confusion?”

Reg sat up and let his brother help him scoot back to lean against the armrest. “No, I don’t think so. How long have I been out?”

“I believe it’s six, so around fifteen hours?”

Regulus’s eyes widened. “Fifteen hours?! Mother and Father are going to kill us!” He swung his legs off the side of the couch and tried to stand up but was stopped by a hand pressing firmly against his chest.

“Alphard flooed them and asked if we could spend the night so that we could meet some of his work associates at the luncheon he’s holding today. Mother was against it, but Father thought it was a good idea to let us start forming connections and preparing to better serve the Noble House of Black.” The older boy’s lip curled as he spoke that last sentence. “The good news is that they have no idea about your little attempt at flight, but the bad news is that we actually have to attend the luncheon.” 

Regulus scrunched up his nose in disgust. Sirius huffed out a laugh and ruffled his hair. “Yeah, I know. You’ll just have to avoid any dramatic falls from the sky in the future so we don’t have to schmooze Father’s business partners.”

“Yeah, yeah, blame the Seer. I want to do another deep dive in the library when we get home to see if there’s a way I can gain some level of control over the visions. You’re not always going to be there to stop me from going splat.” Regulus rubbed the remaining sleep out of his eyes and smiled as Sirius scowled.

“Like hell I won’t be. Can’t get rid of me that easy Reg, though I do think it’s a good idea to try and figure out how to at least predict when a vision is coming.” He groaned in realization. “I can’t believe I have to read those damn books again.”

He yelped at the sharp flick to his forehead. “Reading is good for you, Siri. You only have two more years before you go to Hogwarts, you really ought to start parsing through the first year books to learn the material.”

Sirius gave him an incredulous look. “Reggie, the whole point of going to Hogwarts is to learn. Why the hell would I read the books now when I’m just going to be assigned them later?”

“It’s better to get ahead than to fall behind.” The younger boy stated resolutely. 

“You’re such a swot,” Sirius bemoaned.

“A swot that really needs to brush his teeth,” Regulus smacked his lips unhappily and slipped his bare feet across the floor to stand. He swatted at the nervous hands hovering around him as he took the first few steps towards the bathroom. “I’m fine, stop worrying. Why don’t you go and see if breakfast is ready while I wash up?” 

Sirius frowned but lowered his hands and watched as Regulus stepped into the hallway bath, shutting the door behind him. He loitered in the living room for a few minutes to fuss over the rumpled fabric on the sofa before deciding to head into the kitchen. 

He pushed open the wooden door smoothly and was met with the sight of Limpy, Alphard’s house elf, humming happily at the stove. 

“Master Sirius!” Her ears flicked in surprise at the sight of him. “You is needing some breakfast, sir?” 

“Yeah, thanks Limpy. Could you make up a plate for Regulus, too?”

“Of course, sir! Little Master is too small, he is needing lots of food to grow big and strong, yes he is.” Limpy puttered around the kitchen whilst muttering incessantly about growing young masters. Sirius slipped out when her back was turned to head towards the bathroom. He wasn’t being paranoid, he just hadn’t washed his face yet and ought to do so now that Regulus was awake. That was it. 

Speak of the devil, the youngest Black stepped out of the washroom in fresh robes right as Sirius was raising his fist to knock. He dropped his hand and raked his eyes over the boy’s form, ignoring the glare that he was given in return. 

“Seriously, Siri,” Regulus scowled at the unintentional pun. “I feel fine, quit staring at me like I’m about to keel over.” 

“Merlin forbid I be concerned, Reggie. You fell out of the bloody sky yesterday, it’s not even been twenty-four hours.”

“I get that, but if you keep looking at me I’m a dog you have to put down then you’re going to make others suspicious. We’re already going to have to deal with Alphard asking questions, I don’t want to make excuses to his associates about why my brother won’t move more than three feet away from me this afternoon.” 

It was a valid point, as much as Sirius might’ve resented it. 

“Alright, I’ll reign it in. But, I reserve the right to coddle you at home until you’re fully recovered from your head injury. Deal?”

Regulus gave a long-suffering sigh. “Deal.”

. . .

The luncheon was just as bad as they expected. After a full three hours of stuffy formal wear and equally stuffy middle-aged wizards, the Black brothers bid their uncle goodbye and flooed back home. Orion summoned them to his study before they even had the chance to remove their shoes and they spent the next thirty minutes giving him a full debrief of who they met, what they talked about, et cetera. The meeting went on for long enough that they were forced to join both of their parents at the dinner table immediately after for the evening meal. 

Finally, after hours upon hours of upholding the duties of their noble house, the boys were released to their rooms for the night. They trudged up the stairs and Sirius didn’t even question it when Regulus followed him into his own room only to flop face first onto the bed. He slipped out of his suffocating robes before collapsing alongside the younger, neither of them keen to start a conversation after talking for so long. 

As they lied there, Sirius reflected back on his brother’s behavior throughout the day. He had been more reserved than normal, his smile tight and eyes pinched in discomfort. Normally he would blame the headache that the other likely still had, but this didn’t feel like it was caused by that. Regulus was hiding something, something that bothered him greatly and that he didn’t want to share with anyone. Sirius knew from prior experience that pushing him would only lead to anger, but he could chip away at the issue until the boy finally caved and confessed what was upsetting him. It would just take a bit of time. As much as the older Black lacked patience in some areas, when it came to Regulus he would find the forbearance to wait. 

After all, they had the rest of their lives together.

Chapter Text

Regulus Black felt that he must be the most jaded ten-year-old on the planet. In his first decade of life, he had died seventeen times and watched his brother die thrice. He’d spent the last three years reading anything and everything that was even remotely related to divination in the hopes of being able to gain better control over his visions and find his brother’s murderer. 

Unfortunately, it appeared as though past generations of Blacks were far too focused on expanding their collection of works pertaining to the Dark Arts to have much of an interest in the nuances of Seeing. Regulus went through every single book in their library and read the ones on Seers multiple times each, but he had still found nothing. History cared far too much about the prophecies that his kin provided and not enough about how they managed they came to be. 

He wasn’t able to get very many new books on the subject, either. Not without raising suspicion from his parents. Thus, as Regulus Black celebrated turning ten, he made the same wish he had every day since he was seven. 

I wish to become a better Seer to prevent the terrible fate that lies ahead. I wish to do what my visions claim I cannot. I wish to save my brother. 

…

Sirius had started refusing haircuts shortly after he turned nine. In a little over two years it had grown long enough for the bottom pieces to brush the nape of his neck and curve around the contours of his jaw. Regulus’s own hair just barely curled around his ears in a wavier texture and not quite the same dark shade as his brother’s. The boys both had their hair forcibly tamed by their mother this morning before donning the nicest of their day robes. She had to make sure that they looked the part of the infamous Black heirs for today’s excursion. Regulus found his eyes drawn to Sirius’s bare neck and wondered what color tie would be there come nightfall. The Blacks were Slytherins, that was an indisputable fact that everyone knew and didn’t question. A little voice in the back of his mind whispered that his brother would never allow himself to bear a green and silver noose. 

“Relax, Siri. You’re going to wear a hole into the floor,” Regulus commented from where he sat primly on the bed, watching his brother pace back and forth. Sirius was twirling his wand between his fingers with a level of dexterity that most eleven-year-olds did not possess, but he had been fidgeting with the thing every day since it chose him at Oleander’s. 

“I can’t relax, we’re leaving any minute now! I’m going to Howarts, Reg. Hogwarts! You know how long I’ve been dreaming of this, I’m finally getting out . I’ll be at school for most of the year and can finally make some friends! I get to experience the world outside of this godforsaken manor and be away from our parents.” 

Regulus pretended it didn’t sting to hear how excited Sirius was to leave, to abandon him here with no one but Mother, Father, and Kreacher for company. He knew the older boy was too caught up in the first year craze to consider what his departure meant for the younger Black. It still hurt. 

A sharp crack echoed through the room as Kreacher appeared. “The Mistress says the young masters must be joining her downstairs now.” 

The boys exchanged a look, both nervous but for different reasons. After a quick check in the mirror to make sure that there wasn’t any part of them in disarray, they quickly jogged down the stairs, footsteps feather-light from years of practice. 

Orion and Walburga Black were the picture of stiff nobility from where they stood before the fireplace. Both in neatly pressed black robes with accents of dark green and silver, there was no doubting that these were well-bred Slytherins ready to display their superiority as they dropped their eldest son off for his first year at Hogwarts. They complimented each other perfectly; outfits carefully selected, hair and nails trimmed elegantly, and matching scowls set upon their faces. A perfect couple presenting a united front, some might say. To Regulus, they looked more like a firing squad. 

“Remember who you are, Sirius.” Orion gave him a stern once-over before grabbing both of their arms in a firm grip. Walburga placed her bony hands on Regulus’s shoulder and he suppressed a shiver when the sickening sensation of apparition washed over him. He stumbled into Sirius’s side as they materialized onto platform 9 ¾, his mother’s fingers digging sharply into his skin. 

Taking a moment to right himself,  Regulus glanced around the platform to find it completely packed with children and their parents. Noise attacked him from all angles as teenagers shouted to their friends and the train whistle blew a fifteen minute warning. He glanced at Sirius to find him completely alight with excitement, eyes flicking rapidly between groups of kids as though already scoping out potential friends. 

“Tell me the rules, again,” Walburga commanded. Her sharp eyes were fixated dangerously on her eldest son. 

Sirius’s smile fell and he straightened his back. “I am to sit with the cousins for the entirety of the train ride and, upon arrival at Hogwarts, I will act with the decorum expected of a Black and be sorted into Slytherin,” he recited dutifully. Only Regulus noticed the gleam of defiance as he spoke. 

Orion stared down his nose at the Heir Black. “Make us proud, son.” Walburga nodded in assent. Just like that, he was dismissed. 

Sirius’s eyes flicked over to his brother. He cleared his throat. “May I say goodbye to Regulus before I leave?” 

Their parents exchanged a look of displeasure before Walburga squared off her expression, a jaw twitch signaling her disapproval. “Make it quick.” 

Regulus stared into his big brother’s eyes, trying to find the words for everything he wanted to say. Have fun, I’ll miss you, please don’t go. He knew he was going to be punished for this later, but he couldn’t stop himself from dashing forwards and wrapping his arms around Sirius’s midsection. The older boy clutched him back just as tightly, both mourning their inevitable separation the moment they let go. 

Regulus stifled a yelp as a thin hand grabbed his arm and pulled him back, hard. “Compose yourselves,” Walburga hissed. Sirius stared at his brother with such desperation and sorrow, for a moment Regulus thought he was going to insist on staying. He didn’t. 

“Time to go,” Orion put one hand on his wife’s back and the other on his youngest son’s shoulder. Regulus kept his eyes fixed on Sirius for as long as he could, just barely catching a mouthed ‘Goodbye’ as the tug of apparition pulled on his navel and the train station disappeared. 

They landed harshly in the foyer of Grimmauld Place, Kreacher already waiting to announce that lunch was ready. His parents released their grips on him and strode into the dining room, their conversation turned to the newest member of the Wizengamot. 

Regulus remained where he was and listened numbly as their voices faded away, leaving behind the familiar, suffocating silence of his family home. They couldn’t have been gone for more than ten minutes, yet it felt like his entire life had been irreversibly changed. Ten minutes was all it took for him to be left all alone. 

It’ll be fine, he told himself, he’s just gone until the holidays, and he promised to write every week. Everything will be alright. 

He ignored the hollow feeling of abandonment that had settled into his chest. 

Everything will be just fine.

Chapter Text

Sirius was a Gryffindor. 

Regulus’s hands trembled as he clutched the paper. His brother wrote many words in his first letter to the younger Black, but they all faded into numb horror as the knowledge that Sirius was a Gryffindor washed over him. Every member of their family for the last several centuries had been a Slytherin, it was practically their birthright. To Regulus’s knowledge, no Black has ever been sorted into the house of the lion. Even the black sheep of the family like Alphard and Andy were snakes. 

Mother is going to kill him. 

Regulus ignored the part of him that wasn’t surprised, the part that knew his brother better than he knew himself and had always known Siri wouldn’t be in Slytherin. He hated studying and was far too brash and adventurous for the eagles or badgers, so really there was only one option left. The Seer was loath to admit that Sirius might as well be the poster boy of Gryffindor. He was bold, brave, and loyal to the ones he loved. He fit the house perfectly. 

Regulus startled at the sound of an enraged scream and shattering glass. His shoulders tensed as pounding footsteps grew nearer and the door swung open with enough force to rattle the paintings on the wall. 

Walburga Black was the picture of fury in his doorway. 

“You will be a Slytherin,” she demanded. Regulus didn’t dare breathe when she stalked closer and jabbed the point of her wand into his chest. “You will go to Hogwarts and be sorted into Slytherin, then you will take over your traitorous brother’s duties as heir to this house. Do you understand me?” 

“What-”

The matron’s eyes locked on to the paper still sitting in his lap and lit with a rage unlike any he had ever seen. “Incendio!”

Regulus gasped as the parchment went up in flames. He tried to scramble back from the scorching heat but was stopped by a skeletal hand grabbing a fistful of his hair. A cry of pain escaped him. 

Walburga dragged his face up to meet hers and he was left scrambling for purchase against her robes. “Sirius is a traitor and a mudblood sympathizer. You are to cease all contact with him and focus on getting into Slytherin . Do you understand me, Regulus?”

Tears blurred his view of her twisted face. “But, Siri-”

Suddenly he was sprawled on the ground. The side of his face burned. He reached a shaky hand up to feel the cut on his cheekbone where her ring had sliced into his skin. 

“You are a Slytherin .” 

His mother looked down at him as though she was disgusted that someone like him could ever come from someone like her. “Perhaps you are in need of some proper motivation to encourage the correct choice.”

Regulus was shaking. “What do you-”

He was on fire. His blood was boiling in his veins, his brain was bursting out of his ears and his skin was cracking open to let the starlight burn out of him. All he could think of was pain. A burning, all-consuming pain that wracked through him and tore screams from his mouth. 

Then it was over. 

“Do not forget who you are, boy. You now have a role to fulfill in this family and I will not accept another disappointment.”

Walburga’s heels clacked against the floorboards as she retreated from his room. The door slammed shut behind her and he was left twitched on the ground in her wake. 

Sirius had only been gone a day. 

. . .

Sirius was buzzing with anxiety. His nail beds had been chewed into oblivion as he paced back and forth in his new dorm room, desperately hoping for the roiling in his gut to vanish.

“You seriously need to chill out, man.” 

Sirius shot a glare at his new friend/roommate, James Potter. As the only son of Fleamont and Euphemia Potter, he was one of the few pureblood heirs that his parents would absolutely despise him keeping company with. The two of them met on the train and got along like a house on fire. Right now, though, Sirius was not enjoying the presence of the other boy. 

“I can’t, James. Something is wrong and I’m stuck here, unable to do anything about it.” A hangnail on his thumb found its way in between his teeth. “Do you think McGonagall would let me use the floo if I said it was an emergency?”

James gave him an incredulous look. It was remarkably similar to the one Regulus often gave him when he proposed something ridiculous, but it looked so different on the Gryffindor’s dramatic, sun-kissed features. It still sent a pang through his chest.

“Look, Sirius, you haven’t even told us what the issue is. McGonagall isn’t going to let some random first year floo who-knows-where to do who-knows-what without any explanation. She probably wouldn’t let you even with an explanation, we literally just got here.” 

Sirius wanted to rip his hair out. The sickness he felt was a familiar one, only ten times worse than it had ever been before. When Regulus tripped and almost fell down the stairs last summer, he felt these anxious butterflies fluttering around in his gut. Right now, it felt more like he had swallowed a beehive and gotten food poisoning at the same time. Something was wrong .

“Hey,” one of the other boys in the room decided to speak up. “You don’t have to share anything that you’re not comfortable with, but if you want to talk about what it is that’s making you so stressed out we can listen. The four of us are going to be roommates for the next seven years, after all. There’s bound to be some secrets passed between us eventually.”

The first thing Sirius had thought when he met Remus Lupin on the train was that no one should be allowed to be that beautiful yet so sad looking. He was tall with fluffy brown hair and a thick scar across his nose that spilled out onto freckled cheeks. His eyes reminded Sirius of his own, eyes that had seen more life than any eleven-year-old should have and spoke of a maturity that was forced upon him in order to survive. Remus felt like a kindred spirit. Needless to say, Sirius was a bit smitten. 

“Yeah,” James agreed with a grin. “We’re friends, mate. Anything you say stays in this room, promise.” 

Sirius bit his lip and glanced at the last boy sitting quietly on his own bed. Peter Pettigrew was as average as average gets, but his face was kind. It was quite the surprise when the mousy boy wasn’t sorted into Hufflepuff. 

“No pressure,” Peter gave him a soft smile. 

He sighed in defeat and plopped down on the trunk at the foot of his bed. “I mentioned that I have a brother, right?”

Three heads bobbed in unison. Sirius started twisting his hands together nervously. 

“Regulus is only a year and a half younger than me, but he’s a complete danger magnet and super prone to getting sick, so I got a little… overprotective, growing up. Our parents weren’t really around that much, so I ended up taking care of him a lot. At some point, I realized that every time Reg was sick or in danger, I just kind of knew. Even if I wasn’t with him at the time, a part of me would just start screaming that something was wrong. When he got hurt I felt sick to my stomach and when he needed me, some sort of sixth sense guided me to him.” Sirius took a shaky breath and glanced at the wide eyes fixed on him. “I don’t know if it’s some kind of magical manifestation of my need to take care of him or what, but it still flares up whenever he’s in trouble.”

Understanding dawned on Remus’s face. “So when you said that something was wrong earlier…”

Sirius’s throat felt tight. “I meant that something was wrong with Regulus. He needs me and I’m stuck here with no way to get back to him. I can’t even send him a letter because it’s past curfew!” 

The four of them sat in silence for a few moments. 

“Well,” James sounded hesitant. “I might actually have a way for us to sneak outside so you can owl him, but it’s gotta be one of those doesn’t-leave-this-room things.”

Sirius had never agreed to something faster in his life. 

. . .

“I can’t believe you have a bloody invisibility cloak,” Remus mumbled. The Gryffindors were hunched over in a little bundle of bodies so that they could all fit beneath James’s cloak without their feet showing. They had managed to shuffle their way out of the castle but didn’t dare take off the cloak despite the fact that they were outside. None of them were eager to get in trouble on their first night, but they also didn’t want to get left behind and be the odd one out.

“It’s a family heirloom,” James whispered back. Or, well, tried to whisper. Sirius had only known him for a day, but it had quickly become apparent that the Potter heir was about as subtle as a rhinoceros in a tea shop. Remus, on the other hand, was so quiet that they forgot he was even there half the time. It was strange considering the fact that he was one of the tallest people in their grade, but Sirius found himself enjoying the peace that he felt in the other boy’s presence. Peter was a happy medium, content to stay quiet but never hesitating to join in on the conversation when he had something to add. 

Sirius wasn’t sure where he fit into it all. 

“Mate, you realize that this is a crazy thing to share with your roommates the first day that you meet each other, right?” Remus was also clearly the most logical of the bunch. 

“I mean, it wouldn’t really be fair to ask Sirius to spill his guts while the rest of us keep our secrets to ourselves, would it?” James tried to shrug but froze when it jostled the cloak. 

Sirius glanced up at Remus just in time to see the pinched expression he gave in response. 

He’s hiding something. 

Sirius might’ve pried had that not been the exact moment that they reached the looming doors to the owlery. The building was obviously styled after a traditional wooden barn only double the size and with a smattering of seemingly random holes in the walls. The group of boys entered as quietly as they could and shed the invisibility cloak once they were sure they were alone. Peter immediately took off to explore every nook and cranny of the barn while James chuckled and trod off after him. Sirius glanced back at Remus and returned his reassuring smile as the taller boy nodded in understanding and made himself busy analyzing the wood grain of the floorboards. 

Now with some sense of privacy, Sirius let out a shaky breath and withdrew an envelope from inside of his robes addressed to Regulus A. Black, Second Bedroom on the Topmost Floor, 12 Grimmauld Place, Islington, London. He made his way over to one of the school owls that was giving him a rather vicious glare for interrupting its sleep and produced a treat from his pocket. 

“Sorry for bugging you this late, but could you please deliver this to Regulus Black? It’s important that you go directly to this room and not any of the others, I can’t have my mother finding this before him.” 

The owl let out a disgruntled hoot and begrudgingly stuck out its leg. Sirius gave it a relieved smile and whispered his thanks as he secured the envelope to the bird. As soon as the letter was in its place, there was a flap of wings and the messenger took off to fulfill his duty. The Black Heir watched it go wistfully and startled at the warm feeling of a hand on his shoulder. He tipped his head back and met a pair of soulful brown eyes staring at him sympathetically. 

“I’m sure everything is fine,” Remus said. 

Sirius swallowed thickly. “Yeah,” he croaked. “You’re probably right.” 

It had to be.

Chapter Text

Regulus woke up crying. 

Unfortunately, this was not an irregular occurrence. Ever since Sirius went prancing off to Hogwarts, the nightmares had gotten worse and worse. It was a harsh adjustment to learn how to deal with the visions on his own. Sirius had always been there to pick up the pieces whenever he came back to himself, but now without him, Regulus was lost. 

The young Black rolled onto his side and curled deeper into the blankets as shivers wracked through him. He’d lost track of how many times he’s drowned now, but that lasting cold always latched onto him with a vengeance. He cracked his eyes open and squinted at the window. Still dark out. Regulus closed his eyes and tried to ignore the gripping thirst and feeling of nails scratching against his skin. 

A beat passed. He threw the covers off of himself and stood quickly, shuffling across the room to grab a warmer robe. Midnight walks around the house were a new part of Regulus’s routine, but they were becoming increasingly commonplace on these nights where the sensations were just too overwhelming to go back to sleep. 

The fledgling wizard slipped into the hallway and began his usual trek to the library while wrapping spindly arms around his torso to preserve warmth. A glance outside showed that it was snowing lightly; some of the flakes got caught in the lamplight before they settled onto the concrete road and sparkled in a way that only the first snows ever do. 

A small flicker of delight rushed through him as Regulus realized that it was almost time for the winter holidays, otherwise known as when Sirius would come home from school. Two whole weeks to catch up with his brother and chat about everything that had happened in the last few months. This was easily the most time that the boys had spent away from each other their whole lives and exchanging letters had proven to be difficult under Walburga’s watchful eye. Regulus had only heard from his brother a scant few times since they started sending their letters through Andromeda to prevent Mother from getting suspicious. He missed the older boy like a bone-deep ache and the few updates he’d received had only served to add fuel to the fire. 

A sharp crack of apparition caused him to startle as Kreacher appeared in the hall. “Young Master should not be out of bed at this hour,” the old elf tutted. 

Regulus shuffled guiltily. “I know, I know. Just couldn’t sleep.” 

“Mistress will be upset if she finds out Young Master is not resting properly.”

He wanted to scoff at that. Mother couldn’t care less what his sleeping habits were, but if she got wind that he was exhibiting ‘abnormal’ behaviors that weren’t befitting an heir to the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black… Well, then he could understand Kreacher’s concern. 

“Don’t tell?” He gave the house elf a sheepish grin. “I’m just going to get a book and then head back to bed, promise.” Sirius would be proud of the fingers he had crossed behind his back. 

Kreacher scowled as he deliberated the boy’s words. Eventually, he came to a decision and grunted his ascent before popping out of existence just as abruptly as he had arrived. Regulus let out a breath and continued on his path. He rounded the corner and was met with a pair of ornate wooden doors covered in intricate carvings of serpents and various other dark creatures that led into the infamous Black family library. He leaned his body weight against the rightmost door to push it open and padded in quietly. The room was dark, only a single skylight overhead providing some residual luminosity from the stars to illuminate the dark room. The walls were all blocked off by towering shelves laden with books of all different shapes and sizes. Many of the old, leather-bound tomes glowed faintly from preservation spells while some of the newer ones sat in a neat stack on top of the desk in the center of the room, waiting to be cataloged and shelved. 

Regulus padded quietly over to a mahogany bookcase that sat in the far left corner and slipped his foot into a conveniently empty spot on one of the bottom shelves. He reached up to grasp the lip of the cabinet and held himself flush against the books as he scanned the titles on the topmost shelf. A deep blue spine caught his eye and he read the words Pureblood Magics and the Introduction of New Blood printed in deep bronze lettering. He snatched the book off the shelf and hopped to the ground, quietly slipping back out into the hall to trek back to his room. 

The vast majority of the novels held in the Black Family Library focused exclusively on dark magic and pureblood politics, but sometimes a few more neutral authors slipped into the mix. Irulius Galthar was one of them. He had been an older member of the Wizengamot during the time of Grindelwald and wrote several books on the pros and cons of the rising number of muggleborns and half-bloods in the wizard community. He made some good points and his logic was strong, but his ideals were not well-loved by either the blood supremacists or the muggle activists. 

Regulus was a little bit in love with his novels. He liked that there was no clear right or wrong, just a bunch of gray area to muddle through. The way that Galthar wrote emphasized not only the cultural divide between purebloods and muggleborns, but also the necessity of new blood and the way it had both positive and negative effects on magical ability. 

The young Black walked into his room and shut the door carefully. He lit the candle at his bedside and curled back up under his duvet, cracking open the book at the dog-eared page. 

There are several known ways that fresh blood impacts pureblood magic. Say a muggleborn man marries a woman from a very old and powerful wizarding family and they have a child together, what will the child’s magic look like? Some might assume that by diluting the blood, the child will either be weak in magic or a Squib. However, there is notable evidence to show that Squibs are predominantly born into pureblood families that have engaged in a significant amount of inbreeding over the years. By trying to keep their line free of muggle blood, many have found their ruin. 

Most pureblood families possess strong magic and do not wish to risk growing weaker by allowing marriages to those of lesser birth, but by keeping their blood stagnant, it grows old and corrupt and spoils without fresh fuel. However, reproduction between a muggleborn and a pureblood has produced dramatically different results over the years. Some of the most powerful wizards of our time are half-bloods, yet some of the weakest are as well. The effect of mixing blood is extremely varied and can be different on a case by case basis. I theorize that this risk of ending up with weak heirs is why many purebloods are unwilling to marry outside of the Sacred 28. 

Several well-established wizarding families are known for their distinct magical abilities that get passed down from generation to generation. For instance, the Selwyns are particularly talented at alchemy and the Prince line excels in potions. Some families - such as Malfoy and Rosier - possess stronger magic, but lack an affinity for any particular field. Others have more of a vague alignment, such as the Black’s and their propensity for the Dark Arts. 

Despite this, it is important to take note of the rarer magics that seem to choose their vessels at random. Mother Magic does not conform to the concept of blood supremacy when creating Seers and Metamorphmagi, but over time, one can learn to become an Animagus or Legilimens. It begs the idea of whether blood is really what carries magic, or the soul? If natural talent can vary even within a closed bloodline, then is the concern of diluting magic through new blood a valid one? 

Author’s note: For more information on born magics, see chapter 17. 

Regulus had never flipped a page faster in his life. He skimmed the text for a second before landing on the subject he was looking for.

Seers

The gift of Sight is a rare one that is seemingly assigned at random. It is true that some families have produced more Seers than others, but the ability so often skips generations and at times will appear in a pureblood line with no history of talent for divining. Prophets are rare and it’s nigh impossible to predict when one will be born. There are many who have claimed the title only for the wizarding community to later learn that they were a fraud. 

When comparing the abilities of history’s known Seers, it becomes less and less clear what a vision actually entails. Sight has such variation between individuals; one wizard may be overtaken by an otherworldly force to deliver their message while another might dream of great catastrophes only to assume that they’re nightmares. Matilda the Just was known for predicting the future through paintings. In an interview with the Daily Prophet in 1879, she explained that she never knew what a painting was going to be. The witch would ‘give in’ to the vision and only knew what it was once the piece was complete. 

A logical question to posit upon hearing this is that if a vision can take control of a Seer, can the reverse also be true? Can a practitioner control their future sight to target specific people or events? According to most Seers, the answer would be no. However, Berriwell Madwell disagrees. 

I had the fortune of sitting down with Mr. Madwell during the process of writing this book to talk about his visions. He details them as coming to him in the form of song, with some of his greatest hits detailing major historical events before they ever happened. I asked Mr. Madwell if he felt that he had any control over his visions, and to my surprise, he said yes. 

“Sometimes the song sweeps me away and I get all caught up in it, but other times I’ll be strumming away on my guitar and wondering what the weather will be tomorrow when, boom! Suddenly I’ve got this fun little jig about splashing through puddles on a rainy day. That happened a few times before I decided to start experimenting with it. My sister was telling me about this suffrage movement they have going on over in the colonies and she wanted to know if the protests were doomed or not. I sat down at her piano and focused real hard on it, then suddenly I was seeing women at the poles voting for their next president. It took a bit more practice after that, but now if I want to know who to place my bets on for the game tonight, I just have to play a few notes and keep my mind’s eye locked on target. That’s the key, I think. You’ve gotta have a specific question to send out into the aether and then think real hard until you feel like your eyeballs are about to burst out of your head. I can’t say it’s always the most pleasant thing to force my Sight, but it’s damn useful.”

Regulus snapped the book shut. 

There’s no way it’s that simple, he thought. He’d tried to instigate a vision before and it hadn’t worked. Besides, his dreams weren’t musical at all, so clearly his Sight was different from Madwell’s. But I’ve never asked a question.

Regulus shifted uncomfortably before deciding to give it a shot. It probably wouldn’t work, but at least he could say he tried. He pushed himself up to sit cross-legged on the bed and settled his palms onto his knees. His eyes fell shut with an exhale and he reached for his core. Magic rose up to tingle under his skin and twine around him affectionately. 

Now for the question. There was really only one thing that Regulus wanted to ask about right now. 

When is Sirius coming home? 

He waited for a beat. Nothing. He shifted and let out a frustrated huff before trying again. 

How will Mother react to seeing Sirius?

His magic writhed uncomfortably. Regulus squeezed his eyes shut harder and clenched his hands into fists as he focused on exerting his will. 

Show me Sirius!

The walls were red. He started to panic before his eyes caught on matching red drapes with gold embroidery and a four-poster bed. A boy with tawny hair and a painful looking scar running across his nose sat leaning against the headboard with an understanding smile on his face. Across from him was a very familiar looking boy with wavy hair who was gesticulating wildly as he talked. 

“I don’t know what to do,” Sirius bemoaned. “Reg is never going to forgive me if I don’t go home for the hols, but I just can’t see our parents right now.”

Regulus felt his body freeze. 

“Just stay here,” the brunette patted his leg sympathetically. “Your brother will understand.”

“But I’m abandoning him! We always spend Yule together and if I don’t go home then I won’t be able to see him until the summer.” Sirius dropped his face into his hands pathetically. 

“He’ll forgive you. Even if you don’t want to go to your parents over the summer, there’s plenty of time for you to spend together when he comes to Hogwarts next year.” 

The raven sniffled. “I guess you’re right, I just miss him is all.”

“I know.”

The other boy reached over to pat his shoulder and the vision broke.  

Regulus barely managed to throw his torso off the side of the bed to vomit. His head throbbed and his eyes felt like they were twice their normal size. Through the haze of pain he was able to muster together the thought that Madwell severely downplayed the negative consequences of forcing a vision. Not the most pleasant, my ass. 

He dry heaved a few more times and let his head hang limply over the edge of the mattress so that he wouldn’t dirty his sheets. The thought that Sirius wasn’t coming home came suddenly and viciously, adding the pierce of heartbreak to the mix of unpleasant sensations. The Gryffindor was going to stay at Hogwarts for winter break and spend time with his new friends, leaving Regulus all alone with their parents until the summer. If he even comes back then. 

Tears dripped from his eyes and landed in the puddle on the ground. They began to pour out as he gripped the blanket and anger began to fill him. Regulus could count the number of times he’d truly been mad on one hand, but he’d never felt a betrayal quite like this. The knowledge that his older brother didn’t care about him enough to be willing to put up with their parents clawed at his ribs like a caged beast. If he couldn’t even spend two weeks with them then there was no way he was going to last the summer. He’d probably go gallivanting off to stay with his fellow lions and leave Regulus behind to deal with the consequences. 

The roiling in his stomach started to settle. At least Madwell’s trick had worked, agonizing as it was. He’d have to practice a bit more to grow accustomed to the pain, but he could induce visions now. A triumphant grin split his cheeks as the tears continued to fall. 

If Sirius didn’t want to come home, then fine. Regulus could do this without him. He was already one step closer to controlling his Sight, and he accomplished that all on his own. Even if his brother decided he wasn’t worth the fight, Regulus wasn’t going to give up on changing the future. He’d induce more visions, go to Hogwarts, and prove that he didn’t need anyone. Maybe he’d even make his own friends to rub in Sirius’s stupid, traitorous face. 

He just had to last a few more months.

Chapter Text

Living without Regulus was strange, Sirius decided. His birthday was celebrated with a giant blue cake that James had somehow managed to come up with, but then it was just over. No little brothers waking him up in the middle of the night to go see the stars, no hushed late night promises to always be there for each other, and no satisfied hum in his chest where there was now a constant pit of anxiety. The nervous butterflies had started almost as soon as he boarded the train at platform 9 ¾, but sometimes they flared up and made him ache with the need to check on Regulus. Those were the days he found himself passing a letter to Andy during breakfast before any of the more gossip-prone Slytherins were awake to watch the exchange.

The anxious feeling grew when he realized he couldn't go home for the holidays. A pristine white envelope had dropped onto his plate one morning and he opened it up to see a very concise note from his mother explaining that he should consider spending Yule at Hogwarts to “pursue connections with more reputable students” and “further his studies.” Remus had tried to talk him down, but the threat of what his mother might do if he showed up for winter break was scarier then he was comfortable admitting. Knowing that this meant he couldn't see Regulus for another six months was crushing. 

Needless to say, Sirius felt awful when he wrote a letter to his brother full of apologies and pleas for forgiveness. A week later and he still hadn't received a response. 

“Cheer up, mate.” James thumped his back in a friendly manner before stuffing half of a muffin into his mouth. 

“Maybe you'll get a response today,” Remus tried to comfort him. 

Sirius glared down at his eggs and pushed them around with a despondent hum. He was sitting with his dorm-mates at breakfast on what should've been a fun-filled Saturday morning. The last quidditch game before break was scheduled for that afternoon and there was sure to be a party in the Gryffindor common room after. 

Unfortunately, Sirius couldn’t manage to muster up any school spirit to support his fellow housemates when all he could think about was the boy he was leaving behind to the monsters he himself was trying to escape from. 

There was a chorus of hoots and trills as the morning mail was delivered all across the great hall. He subtly kept his gaze on where Andy sat and felt his heart sink when no owls swooped in her direction. His dorm mates exchanged a concerned look when he drooped even further and rested his chin on his hand. They might be each other's closest friends, but they hadn't known Sirius long enough to figure out how to help when he was this depressed. The only thing that could fix him right now was a letter from his brother, something that was growing increasingly unlikely as the days went on. 

“What about your uncle?” Remus asked suddenly. Confused gray eyes lifted to meet his. “Alphard, right? If you write to him, maybe he can check on Regulus for you.”

Sirius lit up. “That's a great idea! I'm going to do that now, thanks Rem!” The raven shot up and ran out of the Great Hall, presumably towards the dorms so he could scribe his letter to Alphard and drop it off before the owlery closed at noon. 

“If this doesn't work he'll be on the outs for the entirety of the spring term,” Peter mumbled.

James frowned. “Then we'll just have to find another way to cheer him up. That's what friends do.” 

Remus nodded in agreement and Peter grunted. After all, what else could they do?

. . .

-so if you could please pass my message on to Regulus, I would be most grateful. Thank you Uncle. 

Love,

Sirius 

Done. Sirius quickly skimmed over the letter and rolled it up into a little tube adorned with a red ribbon. He hopped down the steps two at a time while descending from Gryffindor Tower and made it to the owlery in record time. One of the caretakers shot him a dirty look when he entered so it must be near closing time, but the young boy was not to be deterred from his quest. Selecting an owl was easy enough and his deft fingers were able to secure the letter to its leg with a practiced grace. 

“I wish you speed and safety on your journey,” he said softly. The owl hooted and nipped at his hand before taking off with a great flap of wings. Sirius watched it go and held his breath until it disappeared from view. 

“Already sent it off, then?” A whiny voice spoke from behind him. The Black heir whipped around to find Peter shuffling uncomfortably and darting his eyes around. 

“Blimey, mate. Don't sneak up on me like that.” Sirius clutched his hand over his heart. “...yeah, just sent it. Were you just coming to check in on me?” 

“Yeah.” He pointedly avoided the taller boy's eyes. “Just, don't get your hopes up, okay?”

Sirius frowned. “What?”

Peter gave a frustrated huff. “I mean, you're not any more likely to get a response from him if you owl him or if your uncle does on your behalf. He clearly doesn't want to talk, so I don't get why you're trying so hard for someone who doesn't seem to care, You'd be better off giving up on him and focusing on your friends and school.” 

Sirius couldn't believe what he was hearing. Was this boy - his friend - actually standing here trying to convince him to abandon his brother? Even more than he already had? What right did he have to say that Regulus wasn't worth the effort? 

“Are you fucking daft?” 

Peter flinched and looked startled by his tone. “I-I was just-”

“You were just suggesting that you - someone I've known for four months - are more important than my little brother? That I should choose my classmate over the boy I was with every day for his first ten years of life? Cause that's what it sounded like to me, and mate, if you believe that for even a second you're fucking mental.” Sirius gave the trembling boy a once over and scoffed. “Piss off.”

He shoved past the stout blonde and stomped out of the barn. Distantly he could hear an attendant telling his roommate that they were closing and he needed to leave, but he couldn't be bothered to look back. Not with the rage simmering under his skin threatening to burst out at any second. 

“Sirius?” 

He looked up to find Remus and James standing before him with rosy cheeks and thick scarves that did little to hide their pursed lips and furrowed brows. Remus looked him up and down and took a few steps forward to lay a gentle hand on his arm. “What's wrong?” He murmured softly. 

James stayed rooted to his spot and swiveled his head around with a confused expression. “Where's Peter?”

Sirius barked out a humorless laugh. “That rat is far away if knows what's good for him.”

The brunettes both looked like a deer caught in headlights. Remus recovered from the initial shock of his statement before James did. 

“What happened?” His voice was just as soft the second time. Sirius was tempted to keep his conversation with Peter to himself, but at that moment the hand on his arm started rubbing up and down comfortingly and he all but melted at the contact. 

“Just pissed me off, is all. Thought it'd be a good idea to corner me and give some very unwelcome advice; basically flat out said I should give up on Reggie and divert my attention to you guys instead.”

James winced and Remus scowled. 

“Fucker, I should've known he was gonna pull something like that.” The bespectacled boy was staring at him with big, apologetic eyes. “I'm sorry, mate. Pete's always been weird about friends since he hasn't had many. It's no excuse - I know - but I think this was less about Regulus and more about his own jealousy. He doesn't quite understand that friends aren't always each others' biggest priority, and he struggles when the people he thinks of as his spend their time focusing on someone else. If I had to guess, I'd say he's annoyed that you're spending so much time worrying about your brother when all he wants to do is enjoy the holidays with his friends.”

Sirius wrinkled his nose. “That's a shit reason. Reg is my brother, he's always going to be my number one. You guys know that and so does he.”

“We do,” Remus consoled. “Your devotion to him is admirable and we completely understand why you've been so concerned, but think about this from Peter's point of view. He's not as mature as you are and if James is to be believed-”

“Hey!”

“-then we're his first real friends, possibly ever. We're first years at the most magical school in a 1500 kilometer radius and he finally gets to be part of a group that accepts him. It's all new and exciting, he has a chance at a fresh start and when things don't go according to plan, he feels like his dream is falling apart. Imagine how you'd feel if one of your first ever friends - one of your best friends - kept pushing you to the side in favor of someone else?” 

Sirius stared up into soulful brown eyes and felt his own grow damp in frustration. 

“Imagine how you'd feel if one of your first ever friends was making you choose between them and the only person you've ever truly loved,” he whispered back. Remus reared back and Sirius ripped his arm away, quickly turning on his heel and running back to the castle.

He swiped at his eyes angrily and ignored James calling his name behind him. It wasn't that he didn't understand what they were saying, he just felt that it was a shit excuse for Peter's biting words. Regulus was more important to him than anything else in the world. He'd made that abundantly clear from day one, so of course he's anxious when the butterflies are constantly writhing in his stomach and his letters are going unanswered. None of the others understand what it was like in that house. If something had happened in Sirius's absence, he'd never be able to forgive himself. 

Chapter Text

Regulus startled at a knock on the door. He was curled up in the library with a few old newspaper clippings about Berriwell Madwell that he'd read at least a dozen times before when a familiar head popped up. 

 “Uncle Alphard!” He quickly stuffed the articles into the book next to him and shut it as he stood to greet the man. “I apologize for not greeting you when you arrived, I was unaware that you were visiting today.”

 Alphard waved him off with a kind smile and gave his curls a friendly ruffle. “Don't worry about it, Regulus. I didn't exactly give your parents notice that I was coming over.”

 Actually, it was weird that he had come while both heads of house were out for the afternoon. What could he possibly want?

 “I received a letter from your brother yesterday asking me to come check up on you. Apparently you've not been responding to him?” Alphard gave him an expectant look. 

 Regulus huffed and averted his gaze while fiddling with the hem of his sleeve. Alphard was a trusted enough confidant of the two boys that they felt safe using him as a backup if Andy ever couldn't send their letters, but the side effect of that meant he could be used as a messenger during fights. Besides, it wasn't that he meant to ignore Sirius's letters, he just didn't know what to say. He hated lying to the older boy but didn't know how to explain everything without making him worry needlessly. Plus, he was still mad about him not coming home for the holidays. 

 Alphard took his silence as an answer and hummed thoughtfully. “My sister did mention that Sirius was spending Yule at Hogwarts. Is that what you're upset about, or is it something else?” 

 Regulus lasted about seven full seconds before giving in and looking back up at his uncle. “...he promised to come home after fall semester. Apparently his new friends are more important than his word.” 

 “Have you considered that he may have wanted to come home but couldn't for whatever reason?”

 “Like what?” Regulus wrinkled his nose.

 Alphard crouched down so he was at eye level with the ten-year-old. “You know your parents better than I do. What do you think?” 

 His parents? What did they have to do with- 

 Regulus blinked and his mouth fell open in surprise. No, they wouldn't - they absolutely would. Walburga and Orion were heartless when it came to their sons. He wouldn't put it past them to command Sirius to stay at school during winter break so that he didn't infect Regulus with his newfound Gryffindor-ness. If that was the case, what were they going to do when summer finally came? Would they be kept separate until his own sorting ceremony in the fall? 

 Alphard must have seen the horror dawning his nephew's face because he chose that moment to speak up with a reassuring smile. “Don't worry, Hogwarts doesn't allow summer students so they'll have to take him back then. If they try to ship one of you off somewhere for a few months, I'll step in and offer my house so you can still hang out. You just have to make it til September.” 

 “Thanks.” Regulus's voice cracked and he willed back the burning pressure behind his eyes. This whole situation sucked, all he wanted was to grab on to his big brother and never let go so that no one could split them apart. Four months was a long time to be separated, but a year was worse. 

 “You should write back and let him know you're okay.” Alphard gave him a final pat and pulled away, stretching his back out as he stood. “Even if you're still upset with him, it's better to say something than to not. Just be honest and it'll all work out. I'll be on my way, then. Take care of yourself, Regulus. If you need anything, you know where to find me.” 

 He nodded obediently and watched his uncle walk away with a parting wave. Guilt scratched at his throat as he thought about the stack of unopened letters on his bedside table. He'd told his parents he was conversing with Andromeda more because he wanted to get a better idea of what he needed to do to prep for Hogwarts, and luckily they seemed to believe him. Mother made it clear he wasn't allowed to owl Sirius and was thrilled that he was showing an interest in “a proper Slytherin” such as his cousin. Father didn't seem to care much either way, but he did tend to get this angry look whenever Sirius was brought up in conversation. 

 Regulus huffed and returned his books back to their proper locations, leaving the newspaper articles stuffed into the library copy of Quidditch: A Beginner's Guide. He traveled back to his room and twisted the lock shut behind him to ensure that he wouldn't be interrupted. Kreacher had a sixth sense for when doors were locked and tended to respect that boundary despite his ability to apparate wherever he liked. 

 He settled down at his desk by the window and grabbed a fresh piece of parchment, dipping a hawk feather quill in ink and hovering it over the page. 

 Drip… drip… drip…

 This was pathetic. Regulus dropped the quill on the table and buried his head in his hands. He should be able to write a letter to his brother without stressing himself out like this, why did it have to be so hard?

 Just be honest.

 He took a deep breath and picked up the quill. 

 Dear Sirius,

 To start off, I'm okay. I know you're probably wearing a hole in the floor with all of your worrying, but I promise I'm not hurt. I've not been replying to your letters because I was mad at you. You promised you'd come home, and you didn't. You chose your new life over your one with me and that made me angry. 

 However, I've also come to understand that it may not be due to your own choice that you stayed. I'm still upset with you, but more than anything, I miss you. I would say that I hope you're having fun at Hogwarts, but it wouldn't be the truth. I know that you have friends - good friends - and I know that they make you happy, but selfishly I don't want you to leave me behind. 

 Enjoy school, but when summer comes, please don't let our parents send you away. Find a reason to stay home and when September comes around we can leave together. I love you, Siri. 

 Please come home soon. 

 Regulus

 He took a deep breath and placed the quill back in its holder. A frown tugged at his lips as he read over the words nervously. It certainly wasn't a happy letter, what if it just made Sirius feel even worse? Maybe he wasn't as worried as Regulus thought and sending this would only ruin his spring semester. 

 You could always look and see, a voice whispered at the back of his mind. He cringed at the thought of how his last forced vision went, but he had to know. If Sirius was happy and unconcerned, he wouldn't send the letter. If he wasn't, well, it probably wouldn't make things any worse. 

 Regulus walked over to his bed and grabbed a pillow before making his way over to the bathroom. He laid down with the cool tile against his back and cushioned his head as his eyes slipped closed. As he thought of a target, he searched for that familiar feeling of disconnect within his head and focused on bringing it to the forefront of his mind. 

 Show me Sirius. 

 His magic fought back and he tightened his mental grip. 

 Show me Sirius.

 There was a flash of wavy black hair that he clung on to even as the image faded. 

 Show me Sirius!

 The vision coiled around his eyes like a serpent and hissed its displeasure. Regulus willed the command to take hold and the scene was finally close enough to grab. He reached out for the image of his brother and was struck with the sensation of falling. 

 Sirius was alone this time. The beds were familiar, as were the thick red drapes and gold cables that adorned each one, but the room only held one occupant. The older Black had never looked as small to Regulus as he did now, muffling his cries in the school-issued pillows and curling up under a heavy wool blanket that he must have taken from home. 

 Sirius sobbed and hiccuped every few heaves as he poured his every emotion out onto that pillow. Regulus was struck with guilt at the realization that he was likely to reason for his brother's tears. Sirius wasn't typically much of a crier, more so the type to soldier through things until they got to be too much and he broke down as a result. 

 “Sirius?” A voice called out as the door creaked open. 

 “Go away!” Sirius sat up to yank the drapes shut and muttered a quick silencing spell as big crocodile tears ran down his cheeks. 

 Regulus barely had the chance to recognize the tawny-haired boy's voice before he was ripped out of the vision. He came crashing back into his body and barely managed to pull himself over the edge of the toilet before he threw up. 

 He could barely think through the blinding headache and waves of sick that wracked his form, but distantly he knew he had to send the letter. Sirius was miserable and would continue to remain that way until he understood why Regulus hadn't been responding to him. Hell, he probably thought their parents had done something to prevent him from sending a reply and was worried that he was hurt. 

 Regulus may still be upset with Sirius, but he never wanted to make him cry like that. No amount of his own hurt was worth that level of pain from his older brother, so if he could do something to make it better, he would. 

 He used a sleeve to wipe the corner of his mouth as his forehead came to rest on the porcelain rim. 

 Summer couldn't come soon enough. 

Chapter Text

 Sirius was first in line to get off of the train at the end of June. 

 James laughed melodically and dragged his own trunk down the hallway with the other two boys trailing behind him. “Here I was thinking you'd be sad to leave us for the next two months. I can almost see a tail wagging behind you.” 

 The raven bounced on the balls of his feet and glanced back at his friends. “Reggie said Alphard was letting him tag along to pick me up since we're going to his house for a couple of weeks while our parents are in France. Mother wanted Reg to go to Aunt Druella's, but I got Alphie to help me convince her it would be more beneficial to spend some time in the countryside where he could study quietly with someone who just went through all of his upcoming classes. She's not happy about it, but who cares!” 

 Remus gave him a fond smile and rolled his eyes. “Don't bother trying to make him feel bad, James. He's been waiting for this day for months, nothing can bring him down now that it's here.” 

 Sirius gave them an apologetic grin. “Of course I'll miss you guys, but it's only two months! It's been ten since I've seen Reg - fuck what if he grew taller? I don't know if I can cope with a tall Reggie-”

 “Actually, I'm excited, too.” James shifted to let Peter get closer to them and take part in the conversation. “We finally get to meet the infamous Regulus Black. Personally, I'm just picturing a miniature Sirius.” 

 “With curly hair,” Peter added. Sirius gave the blonde a once over and turned back to the others. He and Peter had talked after their fight and worked things out - turns out James was right and he was just jealous - but the whole thing still didn't sit right with him. The shorter boy was part of their group and Sirius still considered him to be a friend, but there was a lot of lost trust between them that took time to earn back. He had faith that Peter could grow into someone wonderful, but right now he had a lot of work to do to get there. He had a kind soul that was rotted by years of mistreatment, the kind that was easy to perpetuate onto others if you weren't careful. Peter still needed to learn what it meant to love himself, and until he did, there's no telling what path he would go down. 

 The train whistle blew and the car doors all rattled open simultaneously. Peter forgotten, Sirius grabbed his luggage and all but threw himself onto platform 9 ¾, keeping an eye out for Alphard's wild black mane. He pushed through the crowd and offhandedly noted the sounds of his roommates following behind and apologizing to people they bumped into. 

 “Mum!” James cried out and darted past him into the arms of a middle-aged woman with tanned skin and kind, crinkled eyes. She swept James up in a hug and laughed joyously when he clung onto her like a koala. A similarly aged man with salt and pepper hair wrapped his arms around the both of them and planted kisses on top of their heads. After a moment, James pulled back and reached for Sirius with a blinding smile. 

 “Mum, Dad, this is my friend Sirius. Remus is over there by that super tall guy and you already know Pete.” Sirius glanced back to see Remus smiling at a beautiful woman with a burly man at her side, probably his parents. He turned back to the couple in front of him and gave an awkward wave. 

 “Hi, it's nice to meet you.” 

 James's mother looked at him with what was potentially the most comforting smile in the world. “It's nice to meet you too, Sirius. Jamie has told us all about you in his letters, and I have to say, you've made quite the impression. I'm glad I know who to picture when imagining the person responsible for all of Slytherin's tableware turning neon yellow.” Her eyes held a twinkle to let him know she wasn't upset about the prank, just amused. He smiled back at her and opened his mouth to respond when-

 “Siri!”

 Sirius had never turned around so fast in his life. There, ducking under arms to run at him was none other than his little brother. Before he knew it, he had bolted away from the Potters to meet Regulus head on. They collided with very little grace and grasped at each other tightly as they spun around. Reg hadn't grown much at all in the last year, but his hair certainly had. What was once a head of goldilocks-esque curls was now a looser pattern that fell past his ears and bounced with every movement. His fair skin looked paler than normal and his freckles had faded a bit. He looked even more like Sirius than he ever had before, and it was awful. 

 The Gryffindor pulled back just enough to grasp Regulus's face between his hands and chatter at him nonstop.

 “Tu te sens bien? Tu as l'air malade, es-tu malade? Mon Dieu, cela fait si longtemps que je ne t'ai pas vue, tes cheveux sont si longs. Comment vas-tu?” 

 Regulus gave a delighted laugh in response. “Je vais bien, Siri. Je ne suis pas malade. Tu as grandi?” 

 “Soit cela, soit vous êtes devenu plus petit. Manges-tu suffisamment?”

 An eye roll. “Oui, Maman.” 

 Sirius scoffed and pulled him in for another hug. He closed his eyes and buried his face in Regulus's hair to take a deep breath. He still smelled the same; the knowledge that Reg was here in his arms settled the anxious tendrils that had been twisting around his guts since the fall. 

 “I hate to break up the moment, but I'd love to meet the infamous little brother that I've heard so much about.” 

 Sirius glanced up to see James smiling at him with bright eyes that spoke to how happy he was for his friend. His parents hovered over his shoulders and watched the display with curious expressions. 

 Regulus twisted in his arms to try and look at the speaker without letting go of the older boy's torso. Sirius was reluctant to release him, but he was excited to introduce him to his friends. He pried Regulus's arms off of him gently and soothed the immediate frown that got by grabbing his hand and leading him over to the Potters. 

 “James, this is Reggie. Reg, this is my friend James. I mentioned him in a few of my letters?” He prodded gently. 

 Regulus's first thought about James Potter was that no boy had the right to be that good-looking. He was all long legs and tan skin and blinding smiles, even his glasses and messy hair seemed to add to his image rather than detract from it. 

 “Hi,” he greeted cautiously. Sirius had indeed mentioned James over letters, but he had described him as a goofy, fun-loving prankster, not the Sun taking human form. He almost felt the need to squint. 

 “Guys!” A new voice called out. This one was familiar, and not necessarily in a good way. Regulus looked at the newcomer and startled when he recognized him as the tawny-haired boy from his visions. The one that always seemed to be near his brother. 

 “And this is Remus,” Sirius took his arrival as an opportunity to continue introductions. “He's our other roommate, the fourth is around here somewhere. Rem, this is my brother.”

 “Ah,” Tawny-haired boy nodded in understanding. “It's good to meet you, Regulus.” He turned back to Sirius. “Was that you speaking French earlier?”

 Siri tilted his head and nodded. 

 “Blimey, I didn't know you spoke another language.” A light pink dusted over Remus's ears. “‘’S cool.” 

 Regulus's eyes widened in understanding and he turned to his brother accusingly. “Vraiment? Lui? Père et Mère vont te tuer.” 

 Sirius gave him an affronted look and blushed furiously. “Je ne sais pas de quoi vous parlez! C'est juste un ami.” 

 “Bien sûr.” 

 “Um,” Remus's pink ears had grown red and he was looking at Sirius like he had just ended all world wars. 

Regulus made a disgusted noise and turned back to James. “Is this what you've been putting up with all year?”

James barked out a laugh and turned to bury his face in his mom's arm. “Yeah, pretty much.” He snorted and wiped his eyes.

“I'm terribly sorry.” 

“Quit it, you menace!” Sirius pulled Regulus's face into his chest to stifle his words as James devolved into another fit of giggles. Remus pointedly avoided making eye contact with anyone and stared red-faced at a nearby pillar. 

“Oh, I'm excited for you to join us in the fall, Reg.” James wiped a stray tear off of his cheek and grinned at the boy who was trying valiantly to escape his brother's grasp. 

“I'm not,” Sirius lied. “You're going to be trouble and I don't need to go gray before I even graduate.” 

“I'm no more trouble than you!’’ Regulus protested. 

Sirius gave him an unimpressed look. “Uh huh, sure. If that's what you have to tell yourself.” 

James's mother chuckled, reminding the brothers that they had an audience. They blushed and pulled away from each other sheepishly, although Sirius still kept Regulus tucked under one of his arms. 

“Are your parents nearby?” She glanced around curiously. “We'd love to meet them.” Her gaze locked on to the minute tensing of the boys' posture and made a mental note of it. 

“Actually, our uncle is with us today. Mother and Father are in France for business at the moment.” Sirius answered the question diplomatically and pointedly did not mention that if their parents were there, they'd turn their noses up at the mere idea of socializing with blood traitors. 

“Oh, speaking of,” Regulus pointed in the direction he had come from and they all turned to see a rather handsome man with sweeping black hair making his way towards them. 

He finally managed to push through the last few people to get to his nephews and ran a frustrated hand over his face. “Regulus, you can't just run off like that. This crowd is far too easy to get lost in.”

“Sorry, Uncle.” The youngest Black looked cowed as he ducked his head in apology. 

Alphard sighed and gave his hair a ruffle as he pulled Sirius into a one-armed hug. “It's alright, just try to be more careful in the future. And hello to you, nephew. You've grown since I last saw you, I take it the lions are treating you well?” 

“Yeah, they're great.” Sirius beamed up at his uncle and returned the hug enthusiastically. The adults quickly made their introductions and exchanged a bit of small talk before the Lupins excused themselves and Remus gave his roommates a final goodbye, promising to see them on the train in September. Regulus was surprised when he was included in that, but he still held caution toward the boy who had convinced his brother not to come home for Yule. 

“We'd better get going, too.” 

James pouted at his father's words and dragged Sirius into a bone-crushing hug. “Promise you'll write?”

Sirius returned his affection and squeezed back just as tight. “Promise. Next year will come before you know it.” 

“It better.” They clung on to each other for a few more seconds before letting go reluctantly. Regulus squeaked when he was immediately grabbed and wrapped up in the arms of this boy he had met not fifteen minutes ago.

“Take care of him for me, yeah?” 

He patted James's back awkwardly. “Of course.”

The Gryffindor gave him a final squeeze before releasing him with a sunny smile. “See you soon, Reg.” 

“Bye.” Regulus was dumbfounded at how much sentiment this boy had shown him despite having never met before. Just how often did Sirius talk about him?

“Seems like that's our cue, boys.” Alphard placed a hand on each of their shoulders and began guiding them back to where Sirius dropped his luggage. 

“Bye, Jamie!” Sirius called back with a wave. The shit eating grin at using Mrs. Potter's nickname for the taller boy said that he wouldn't be letting that go anytime soon. “Don't have too much fun without me!” 

“Wouldn't dream of it, Siri!” Apparently, two could play at that game. Regulus blushed at the teasing way it was said and hunched his shoulders in embarrassment. He was probably getting a bit too old for cutesy nicknames, but Siri wasn't that bad, right? I mean, his brother still called him baby sometimes, that was much worse. Regulus briefly entertained asking Sirius to stop calling him that, but quickly shut the thought down when he imagined the look of heartbreak he would receive in response. They'd just have to be careful about it in front of other people. 

A long arm wrapping around his shoulders pulled him out of his thoughts and he felt a kiss planted on the side of his head as he was dragged into his brother's side. 

“Missed you,” Sirius mumbled softly. 

Regulus sighed contently and leaned a little more against him. “Missed you, too.” He felt something in his chest ease knowing that they were finally back together again. And come autumn, he'd be able to accompany Sirius back to Hogwarts instead of having to stay in that miserable house. 

“Let's go home,” Alphard mumbled to them. As the pull of apparition started to tug at him,

Regulus knew that he wasn't going to be left behind ever again. 

Chapter Text

Hi! To start, whoops! I didn't realize how long it's been since I updated this fic. I actually have quite a few future scenes written and an overall plan for the story that I still really like, so I'm definitely not discontinuing this! I can't promise I'll update soon so I'm putting the fic on a temporary hiatus, but I will definitely keep writing for it and update when I have some decent content. This is almost certainly going to end up being my longest fic and I have two other multi-chap ongoing fics so this one will be taking the backseat for a while. In the meantime, thanks for reading!