Chapter Text
Life is not kind to omegas.
Atsumu learnt this the hard way when he first received his medical report reflecting his secondary gender: an omega. The second, when his boyfriend of two years left him for another chic; a pup growing in his womb. The third, when his current partner started showing his true colours, raising his fists, pelting hard, heavy blows on him, sending him curling into a ball and swallowing every broken cry that threatened to leave his heaving chest.
“ God - I love you. You know that don’t you, doll ? It’s better when you’re like this. Quiet. Meek. So, so pliant.”
The searing contact of calloused palms against quivering flesh, and the brute force behind those large hands Atsumu had once deemed warm and safe, now sent him staggering, doubling over to the ground with a pained whimper. Bringing his knees to his heaving chest in an attempt to protect himself, all the while cowering behind trembling forearms that did little to bear the brunt of the weight clambering atop his frame with zero care, Atsumu couldn’t help but ask himself-
Was this really love?
“I always knew the potential you had behind your brashness and this big, brawny frame of yours. No wonder nobody else loves you. You have to be beaten just to be willing to listen to whatever I have to say huh? Look at you now. Submitting to an alpha as an ordinary omega should.”
A tear streaked down Atsumu’s cheek. He shot the alpha before him with a weak, watery glare.
Love wasn’t supposed to hurt like this.
An omega unlike others, Atsumu had lost count of the number of times he had been explicitly told that he was unworthy of love for being bigger than most. Taller. Stronger.
Different .
The sole exception being a handsome, young alpha who had been hot on his heels, chasing after him relentlessly with lavish gifts despite being an unmated omega with a young pup, and an unsettling keenness that Osamu had warned him of from the very get go, Akio made Atsumu feel like an omega deserving of being courted for the very first time in his life.
Promising him sweet nothings and vowing that he would treat his pup, Nao, like his very own son, Atsumu had plunged headfirst into giddy happiness at the prospect of having found an alpha who finally loved and accepted him as he was.
Or so he thought.
When did everything start to go into a downward spiral? When did he start becoming so quiet? Meek? Pliant? When did Akio’s words start having such a hold over Atsumu and make him see his value otherwise, accepting the hurtful words the alpha spewed without so much of a care over the arduous course of their relationship?
The cracking in Atsumu's hollow heart grew painfully loud, ringing in his ears amidst the wet squelches and gnarly stickiness trickling down the back of his thighs.
Atsumu couldn’t help but squirm in an attempt to shrink away from the clamminess surfacing on his palms and the ice cold dread sinking into his bones at the familiar, vice-like grip tightening around his hips.
"Sweetheart, stay with me. Don't even try to get away. You know that is only going to make me angry.”
The wispy voice purring against the shell of his ear, sent Atsumu's skin crawling.
“I’m the only one who loves you and Nao, remember?"
Burying his face into his arms, the tears that streamed down Atsumu’s cheeks in rivulets did little to wash away the bone chilling disgust and trepidation blanketing him, the taste of bile evident in the back of his throat.
He didn't want this.
Yet, why was he accepting whatever was tossed in his way? Why was he conforming to whatever was asked of him? Why was he simply resigning to the ache settling in his bones?
The soft, barely audible pitter patter of anxious pacing coming from the other side of the bedroom door had Atsumu steeling himself, biting his lower lip to swallow the cries of anguish threatening to leave his lips. He didn't want to let his five year old son, Nao, who was hiding in the bedroom, hear him crying and getting hurt.
Why was it so hard to be happy? Why did he have to live like this? Why did he have to be born as an omega? Of all things, why did his beautiful, precious son have to go through this?
Happiness was all but a far fetched dream. It didn't exist.
Yet it was all Atsumu wished for, living life as an omega with a toddler.
“Hah…Fuck, you don’t even get wet like you used to. Are you really an omega? Fuck- you’re worthless."
A harsh slap to his sides sent Atsumu jolting, breaking the skin of his lower lip he had been gnawing on. A succession of quick deliberate strikes meant to hurt, followed.
"You’re better off getting out there and finding a job. I need the money to pay the rent. Who let you stay under this roof? " Akio spat, grabbing at his ass roughly, "Be grateful, you useless omega. I'll hurt the little fucker that came out of you. He isn't even mine."
Atsumu almost laughed, sneering, squeezing his eyes shut at the momentary relief, when the alpha finally pulled away with a low grunt.
Bitter distaste filled him soon after.
What happened to the man who'd showered him with affection and sweet, tender words? The man who'd professed to make him the happiest omega? The man who'd sworn to protect Nao and him?
Right- he'd lost his job, picked up gambling, alcohol, and turned into a shell of a man.
Atsumu wanted so much as to yell. To scream and tell Akio to wake up. To pour his outcries that he was hitting him. That he was hurting him. That he was wounding him.
But knowing that he might strike that very same hand- a fist, on his son, terrified him.
So he swallowed the words in his mouth. Allowed his bruises to grow. His skin to bleed. And his heart to break.
Watching the frame of the alpha he had once cherished and loved, curse lowly under his whiskey-laced breath, walking away, slamming the door to the worn out apartment behind him, Atsumu’s gaze drifted to the mirror in the living room, where he did a brief scan across his bare body- the dips on his purpling hips and crimson droplets dotting the surface of bruised skin.
Assessed the months of damage brought forth by large palms that had once been warm, comforting and grounding. Scrutinised the scars left behind by an alpha who had stripped him apart, peeling layers upon layers of his heart. His worth. His identity.
Atsumu fought the bile rising to the back of his throat for the umpteenth time, and plastered a wobbly smile across his dry, chapped lips.
It did not last for long.
Pulling his tattered tee over his body that ached in protest, a thin cardigan to conceal the visible bruises blooming across his arms, and the remains of his sweatpants strewn across the hall, the cries he had been holding back left his broken body.
It hurt. It hurt so fucking much.
"Papa?"
Atsumu shot up instantly. Nao-
Reaching out to cradle his son’s trembling frame in his arms and tuck him close to his chest, Atsumu forced himself to pump as much of his omegan pheromones to stop his kit from being distressed and his milky scent from turning sour.
“H-hurwts?" Nao mumbled quietly, looking crestfallen and teary eyed, "Papa hurwts?"
Atsumu's heart shattered. His pup never once complained about being left alone in the bedroom all by himself for hours, never making a sound, almost as though he knew that it was the only way his tiny body could protect his parent.
Atsumu reeled in his tears and swallowed the knot forming in his throat. He had to be strong for his child. Shaking his head, he forced a smile onto his face, and ignored the sting he got from his cut lip.
"Baby, listen to papa okay? We need to leave. We're not safe here anymore," Atsumu's voice cracked.
Nao bobbed his head in understanding. Reaching a grabby hand to cling on to the hem of the thin cardigan Atsumu wore, he asked, "Papa, happwer if we leave?"
Atsumu smiled woefully, picking his son up and a backpack he'd packed discretely with essentials months ago, when the abuse first started.
"I don't know, my little cinnamon bun. Maybe. But I'm not gonna let yer get hurt here."
Deep in his heart, Atsumu knew that being safe was better than being happy.
Happiness didn't exist. Not for omegas. Not for him.