Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

The time had come. After many sleepless nights and sheets thrown away in bursts of frustration, Tooru had finished writing the lyrics for Iwaizumi, and played it to him. He had been anxious when he had given the paper to the singer, but the expression of pure joy and the smile of thanks that Iwaizumi had given him made him think that it had been worth it.

Iwaizumi had been sincerely enthusiastic about the text, he had called it ‘perfect’, and after weeks Tooru continued to vividly remember the expression on the man’s face, and his warm words of thanks. In particular he repeated them in his mind before going to sleep, and it allowed him to always have peaceful dreams.

And now it was Iwaizumi’s time.

He would participate in a television competition with the greatest singers in Japan, and for the first time he would sing ‘Dawn’ to the public. Tooru was feeling enthusiastic and was a bubble of energy all day.

“When is Iwa-chan’s turn?” he asked for what must have been the third time to Yahaba, who mechanically answered.

“He’s the twelfth, after Bokuto,” he said as he updated Iwaizumi’s Instagram feed.

“Where is he?”

“He’s getting ready. For the love of God, can you sit still?” the manager asked, looking up from the phone, and Tooru snorted.

“I want to see him.”

“Christ,” Yahaba sighed.

“What room is he in? Why aren’t you with him? Shouldn’t you be his shadow?”

“You know what, you’re right. I can’t stand you anymore, you’re worse than him” Yahaba snorted, getting up.

“Worse than him? What does it mean?” Tooru asked confused. From what he knew Iwaizumi and Yahaba got along very well and both thought highly of each other. So Yahaba saying something negative about Iwaizumi was strange, very strange.

“He’s been stressful all day, I don’t even understand why he’s so anxious. It’s not the first time he appears on television and it’s certainly not the first time he sings in front of an audience,” explained the manager. Tooru frowned and stood up following his friend.

“I’m coming with you” he decided.

“To also convey your anxiety to him?” Yahaba asked skeptically as he began to walk down the halls.

“I’m not anxious, I’m enthusiastic, it’s very different!” Tooru exclaimed.

“You’re still annoying,” Yahaba muttered but said nothing and let himself be followed. They walked down a hallway to the dressing rooms, and when they entered the room, they saw Iwaizumi getting his makeup done by Asashi. Tooru immediately approached him chirping.

“Are you ready, Iwa-chan?” he smiled and the man turned towards him giving him a dirty look.

“No,” he only said funereally and Tooru frowned in confusion.

“What’s the problem?”

“Forget it,” Iwaizumi hissed, turning towards the mirror as Asashi placed a light veil of concealer around his eyes. Tooru looked at him curiously and confused, but Iwaizumi didn’t say anything else. He waited for Asashi to finish his makeup and gel his hair, and then he got up thanking him and left the room. Tooru followed immediately, quickening his pace to keep up with him.

“Hey, what’s wrong with you?”

“Forget it,” Iwaizumi cut short, but Tooru grabbed his wrist and forcibly turned the man towards him.

“I’m not letting it go. You’ll be on that stage in a few minutes, I need to know what’s wrong to help you. And quickly too,” he retorted. He noticed that they were in the hallway where any other singer or employee might have passed, and Tooru forced him into a room that was currently empty.

“Speak,” he ordered and Iwaizumi tiredly ran his hands over his face. Tooru immediately hit him on the fingers scolding him. “You’ll ruin your makeup,” he hissed. “Just talk,” he said harshly and Iwaizumi groaned and rested his back and head against the wall.

“Performance anxiety,” he simply said, to which Tooru frowned more, not understanding. Iwaizumi had never been like this, he had always managed his anxiety well before a performance, so much so that he had positively surprised Tooru since his first concert. It seemed like he was born to be a singer.

“You’ve sung in front of an audience before. You’ve also already been on television several times,” he pointed out.

“It’s different.”

“Why?” Tooru asked, and Iwaizumi didn’t answer, just snorted and closed his eyes as he tilted his head back. Tooru looked at him more closely, but he couldn’t really understand what was different now compared to previous times.

“Is it because it’s a competition?” he tried to guess.

“No.”

“So what is it?”

“The song,” Iwaizumi blurted out and Tooru frowned at those words.

“Dawn? What’s wrong with it?” he asked but the moment he did it an idea began to form in his head.

“You didn’t write it,” Iwaizumi said, confirming his doubts. The singer reopened his eyes and held his gaze. “People liked the songs I have sung so far because you produced them. Dawn… is completely different, the melody is just my work and it’s not that special, and the lyrics is good, of course it’s good, but the idea behind it seems so stupid and...”

“Okay, stop immediately.”

“And childish. And you can hear that it’s different from the songs I’ve sung up until now, and maybe the idea of playing only arpeggios isn’t so good, and it’s banal and...”

“Will you shut up?” Tooru blurted out and seeing that Iwaizumi didn’t want to listen to him, he pressed his hands on the singer’s shoulders and squeezed them hard enough to hurt and push him hard against the wall. Iwaizumi finally stopped and looked at him. “You’re talking a load of bullshit,” Tooru growled. “Dawn is beautiful, okay? Not only is it beautiful, it’s amazing. The meaning is deep, the lyrics is beautiful, and the melody is one of a kind, and yes, it’s different, but that’s what makes it beautiful, okay? And I’m not saying this to calm you down, but because I helped you create it myself, and I would never have approved of a cheap song,” he blurted out and then took a deep breath and softened his tone. “People will like it, okay? Trust me.”

“You don’t know,” Iwaizumi retorted, though sounding calmer than before.

“Actually yes. But ok, you think they won’t like it. So? The first song you posted on YouTube was completely trashy” he reminded him, and Hajime smiled a little.

“It was deliberately trashy, it’s different” he replied and Tooru was relieved to see the dimple appear on his right cheek.

“I know,” he said, gently passing his hands over Hajime’s to remove them from his hair and prevent him from ruining the hairstyle the hairdresser had worked on. “And I know Dawn means so much more to you, but Hajime, it’s a wonderful song. It’s all yours, and that’s exactly why it’s beautiful, it has your soul inside” he said and saw a blush spread across Hajime’s cheeks. Tooru clasped the man’s hands in his and took a step towards the man, closing the distance between them. “Even if you sang it badly it would still be perfect, trust me.”

He glued his eyes to Hajime’s, trying to convey all the confidence he needed, and to make him understand that everything he had said was one hundred percent sincere. Iwaizumi blinked several times and then wet his lips with his tongue.

“Tooru,” he said softly, and Tooru’s heart skipped at the name. He widened his eyes slightly and suddenly became aware of their closeness and the warmth of Hajime’s hands in his. He also realized that he had said the man’s name, and that Hajime – not Iwaizumi, not Iwa-chan, Hajime – was looking at him with what was the sweetest look Tooru had received in his entire life. “Tooru, you-”

“Iwaizumi! For heaven’s sake, we have to put the microphone on you, move, it’s your turn soon” Yahaba said entering the room and Tooru quickly pulled away and let go of the singer’s hands, suddenly feeling cold. He met the singer’s gaze eager to know what he was about to say, but Iwaizumi carefully avoided his eyes as he followed Yahaba. Yahaba, who Tooru hated with all his heart at that moment.

They were having a moment, Hajime was telling him something important – Tooru knew it, the singer had looked at him with such an intense gaze – and Tooru just wanted to know what would come out of those wonderful lips.

He didn’t ask, but he followed the singer and the manager as they reached the sound engineers, who set up the microphones and guided Iwaizumi towards the theater stage. Tooru remained silent with his heart still thundering through his chest at a higher speed than normal, and with a feeling of electricity in his skin he tried to stay close to Hajime in the hope that the singer would say something to him.

Iwaizumi didn’t say anything though, he just watched Bokuto’s performance from behind the curtains, and only when the singer sang the chorus of his song for the third time did Hajime turn towards him.

“Tooru,” he murmured and Tooru immediately shifted his gaze to the man, expectantly. “Thank you,” Hajime just said and smiled at him in a way that melted Tooru inside, and made his entire throat dry. “I will conquer the stage” he promised.

“You will,” Tooru nodded. “I have no doubts.”

At that moment Bokuto finished his song and Hajime turned towards the stage, ready to perform.

***

Bokuto had won. If there was still anyone who didn’t know, they certainly knew now, because the man was shouting his song out from the balconies, in a version that was much more like karaoke sung by old friends than by a professional singer. Tooru, however, was still proud of Iwaizumi, because the man had won third place immediately behind Kiyoko. And above all, because he had won with the votes from home. His song was the one that the public liked the most, if the judges had given him a higher vote, he would undoubtedly have been first. But it didn’t matter, because for Tooru Iwaizumi remained first, and Iwaizumi seemed more than happy to be on the podium.

They were both currently at the party that Shiratorizawa had organized, along with all the other singers who had participated in the competition and other television figures.

Tooru had been forced to talk to everyone, and had enjoyed meeting someone again - like Kuroo, Hinata and Kiyoko - but he had also been annoyed and had tried to avoid other figures as much as possible, in particular Ushijima, who had still asked him to return to his record label. Tooru had skillfully avoided his questions and had disappeared as soon as Ushijima had started his usual boring speech, but now to avoid the man he was forced to stay in a corner and not be noticed too much.

He was sipping a glass of wine wondering if it was the fourth or fifth of the evening when his gaze fell on Iwaizumi hearing his low, loud laugh. Tooru inevitably ended up smiling when he saw the singer talking to Daichi, and his smile widened even more when he saw him gesturing while engaging in conversation.

At that moment he realized that he had never seen the tipsy man and became curious to observe him. Iwaizumi was much more relaxed than normal, talking more and with more enthusiasm than usual, and his usual frown was gone from his forehead. What attracted Tooru the most, however, was his warm smile, his cheeks slightly flushed and ok, even the top three buttons of his shirt undone and the rolled-up sleeves showing off his strong forearms.

“Your singer has reached high levels” commented a voice on his shoulder, and Tooru jumped taken aback. He turned around hoping he hadn’t stared too obviously, but when he recognized Sugawara, he relaxed.

“Did you have doubts? Knowing his artistic producer?” he said with no modesty, and Sugawara laughed.

“No, actually not” he replied and Tooru smiled smugly. “I was wondering though,” Sugawara began, resting his arm on his shoulders in a way he only did when he’d had two too many drinks. “Are you just his artistic producer or also his lover? And does Iwaizumi sing well even when he’s between the sheets?”

“Suga-chan!” Tooru blurted out, and took a quick glance over his shoulder to check no one had heard, and holy shit, Iwaizumi was right next to them. Luckily, he seemed very involved in whatever discussion he was having with Daichi. “Lower your voice, Jesus!” he snapped and Sugawara laughed. He was definitely drunk.

“Come on, there’s clearly some chemistry between you two. And the way you were looking at him two seconds ago, you looked like you wanted to eat him” he chuckled and Tooru put his hand in front of Sugawara’s mouth. The asshole hadn’t lowered his voice at all, and Tooru didn’t need everyone to know about his crush on Iwaizumi. Especially he didn’t need the person directly involved to know.

“Lower your voice,” he repeated in a hiss and Sugawara laughed again. He leaned down and whispered.

“But you want to fuck him, don’t you?”

“Yes, Jesus, yes. Now shut your mouth and pretend I never told you,” Tooru snapped, knowing from experience that Sugawara would persist until he got what he wanted. The man smiled satisfied, and Tooru rolled his eyes at the man’s expression that seemed damn satisfied.

“Did you fuck?” Sugawara asked, finally in an acceptable tone.

“No,” Tooru hissed, and glanced over his shoulder again, to make sure no one was listening.

“But you wish,” Sugawara said, raising his eyebrows in a ridiculous way and Tooru glared at him.

“When you’re drunk, you’re an asshole,” he told him bluntly, and again the man chuckled.

“All it takes is a yes or no, Oikawa,” he said and Tooru snorted, avoiding his gaze. He might have avoided answering, but he found himself mumbling.

“You already know the answer.”

“So, it’s a yes,” Sugawara concluded and Tooru snorted again. Maybe he should have dragged Sugawara to Daichi so that his husband would take him away from the party and Tooru could relax. If it had been another situation he would have done it, but at that moment Daichi was talking to Iwaizumi, and Tooru wanted to avoid approaching them with the drunk man who knew about his crush. He trusted Sugawara, but not his mental state at the moment.

“Then why don’t you have it yet-?”

“Hey!”

Tooru whirled around and almost stepped on Sugawara’s foot, but fortunately the man had the decency to shut up on his own at the sight of Daichi and Iwaizumi in front of them.

“Is Koushi bothering you?” Daichi asked, and Tooru had no qualms about nodding.

“Enough. Your drunken husband is a menace,” he said bluntly, and Daichi smiled amusedly, wrapping an arm around Sugawara’s back and dragging the man towards him.

“I know the feeling.”

“I was just telling Oikawa that he should take courage. For an artist producer who creates songs about passionate sex, he’s too calm,” Sugawara said with an amused twinkle in his eyes.

“Suga!”

“What? It’s the truth. Iwaizumi, take care of him,” the man said, winking at the singer, who blushed slightly. Tooru was about to punch him, and he would have actually done it if Daichi hadn’t pulled his husband back.

“Well, I think it’s time to go,” he said. Sugawara didn’t fight, just smirked at Tooru, and then walked away.

Tooru put his hands on his temples, massaging them.

“I will kill him,” he muttered to himself, and he sincerely hoped that Iwaizumi hadn’t heard or sensed anything. He turned towards him and saw that the singer was observing him in silence, with a thoughtful and all too dangerous expression. Tooru didn’t want him to think too much about what had just happened.

“So, shall we go to Bokuto and show him who the best musicians are?” he asked, but Iwaizumi shook his head. He took a step closer and Tooru tried not to notice that he was closer than usual, as he could smell his pungent scent mixed with sweat and alcohol. A combination that should have been bad, but was actually quite charming.

“I’m actually tired. I would go to sleep” he said and Tooru nodded stupidly, unable to say anything. “Come you too?” Iwaizumi asked, giving him a somewhat uncertain look, and Tooru, again, just nodded.

At that point the two men headed towards the exit, greeting several artists and members of television. They also caught Ushijima before managing to exit the building, but fortunately - or unfortunately - Tooru was too focused on not going crazy from the arm that brushed Iwaizumi’s, to even get angry.

They went out into the open air and got into a taxi, and Iwaizumi only told the driver the destination, before falling into a strange silence. Tooru initially thought it was awkward, but when he glanced at the singer, he realized that the man looked tired, and he had every reason given the long, busy day he’d been having. He probably just wanted to throw himself on the bed.

In a few minutes they were in front of their hotel and silently entered, heading towards the elevator. Tooru pressed the button for the sixth floor and leaned against the wall, shooting another strange look at Iwaizumi when the man almost imperceptibly approached him.

Almost, because Tooru noticed. He didn’t know if Iwaizumi was doing it intentionally or not, but Tooru was hyperaware of the centimeters that separated them, and they were few. Their arms continued to touch and even though he was trying to ignore that closeness, it was difficult. It didn’t seem random, but Tooru didn’t want to think about it too much. Their discussion before Iwaizumi’s performance, however, had been intimate, and did nothing but increase Tooru’s thoughts on the singer’s behavior.

“We’re here,” Iwaizumi said at a certain point, causing Tooru to wake up from his thoughtful state, and the man nodded as he exited the elevator and began to walk down the corridor. He reached the door of his room and then turned towards the singer, ready to greet him and say goodnight.

But before he could do so Iwaizumi approached, almost caging him against the door, and now Tooru was sure that he meant it.

“Tooru” Iwaizumi said and Tooru tried to ignore the shivers that were running up his arms at hearing his name spoken by the singer’s voice. He swallowed silently as he locked his eyes with Hajime’s, and again, he realized that they were so close that he could see the specks of his eyes.

“Yes?” he said, managing against his own prediction to control his voice and breathing.

“Thank you,” Iwaizumi said without looking away, and Tooru frowned slightly, somewhat disappointed. “For helping me with the song, it would never have turned out this good without you.”

“Bullshit.”

“It’s the truth. You managed to put into words what I wanted, I would never have succeeded without you. And I know you worked so hard on it, and you didn’t have to, so thank you so much.”

Tooru felt a blush spread across his face and wondered if Iwaizumi had noticed that he had worked day and night on that song, and above all, if the singer had understood the real reason why he had done it.

“You don’t have to thank me.”

“I have to. Without you I wouldn’t be here, you believed in me from the first time even though I was nobody, and it’s only thanks to you that I’m here.”

“It’s not true, you’re here because you’re a good singer,” Tooru said, his throat a little dry, and still a little disappointed by the direction that speech was taking.

“Yes but- anyway, that wasn’t what I wanted to tell you, I digress” Iwaizumi shook his head and Tooru frowned, not being able to understand but feeling a sort of anticipation rush through his body again, as if he knew something was about to happen. Or at least, he hoped so. He hoped so dearly.

“And I don’t want you to think I’m telling you this because I owe you everything to be here. I do, I mean, I owe you everything to be here, and I’m really grateful, but that’s another thing. Different. What I mean-” Iwaizumi ran a hand through his hair almost nervously, and Tooru found himself mesmerized by the movement. “What I mean is that- the way you- shit.” Iwaizumi ran his fingers through his hair a second time, and Tooru found himself staring again, at his hand, at his hair still lacquered with gel, at his slightly sweaty forehead, and at his eyes. His eyes that at that moment seemed so sincere and sweet that Tooru felt his knees almost give out.

“Okay, you know I suck with words.”

“Yes,” Tooru managed to say at that point, regaining his courage. “So don’t talk. Just show me,” he almost begged, and Iwaizumi’s eyes widened slightly. He looked at him in surprise and then nodded, once again taking on a less nervous and more confident expression. He glued his eyes to those of Tooru, who desperately tried not to be crushed by his desire, and then the singer moved his hands, placing them on Tooru’s face.

Then he leaned in and kissed him.

Tooru’s bubble burst and finally - finally - he closed his eyes and returned the kiss he had been waiting for all evening, letting his hands rest naturally on Hajime’s neck. He let the singer command and parted his lips when he felt Hajime press harder, and let himself be pressed against the door as he felt the man’s hands go down from his jaw to his neck, until they rested on his hips as Iwaizumi pushed him harder against the door, pressing their bodies together.

Tooru quickly felt short of air and pulled back feeling the need to breathe, resting his head against the wood.

He opened his eyes slowly, almost as if it were a dream, and looked at the man in front of him, with wet lips and a look he had wanted to have on himself for too long.

“Wow,” Tooru whispered, and Hajime gave a small smile, causing the same expression on Tooru’s face.

“I like you, Tooru. To be honest, I think I’m falling in love with you,” Hajime admitted, and Tooru felt the dizziness return all at once.

“God,” he said in a strangled voice, and then he grabbed Hajime’s face and pulled the man towards him, kissing him again, this time taking control of the kiss, which the singer returned eagerly. Their teeth clashed, and Tooru pulled the man further against him, wanting to feel all of Hajime against him. His whole body, his whole essence, his whole being.

He ran his hands over the singer’s shoulders and then down his back, and held him close as if he wanted to be suffocated by his body, and perhaps he really wanted it. He brought a leg between Hajime’s and held them even closer, until the man broke away from the kiss panting.

“Tooru, Tooru, wait,” he said breathlessly. “If you keep this up, I won’t be able to stop myself.”

“Maybe I don’t want you to do that,” Tooru admitted.

“Shit,” Hajime whispered, and Tooru smiled. Then he frantically reached into his pocket and grabbed the keys, unlocking the room as quickly as possible and dragging the other man with him.

“And I want to make it clear that I feel the same about you. I feel like I could love you” Tooru said and as soon as he finished saying it, he felt Hajime’s lips on him again, and then his hands, and his body pressing so hard that he took two steps back, until he fell onto the bed.

Tooru felt the air leave his lungs and was about to take a deep breath but seeing Hajime lean on the mattress above him prevented him from doing so. It was all happening fast, but he didn’t want to stop, and when Hajime leaned over him again and kissed him, Tooru grabbed his shoulders so he was lying directly on top of him.

He didn’t care if he wouldn’t breathe, he didn’t need air right now. He needed Hajime, all of Hajime, and he needed all of him attached to his body.

With his hand he ran along the singer’s back until he reached the hem of his shirt, and then went back up under him, touching the warm skin and not being able to hold back a moan when he felt Hajime’s muscles tensing under his fingers.

Hajime broke the kiss and Tooru immediately tried to chase his lips, but Hajime had other plans because he placed them on his neck and- God.

“Hajime” he moaned, tilting his head to give him free access and the man let out a moan that echoed through the room.

“God, Tooru,” he just said and kissed him again. On his neck, and then further down, until his hands reached the hem of Tooru’s shirt and pulled it up his stomach, causing Tooru to experience a trail of shivers that were definitely not due to the cold. He raised his back and freed himself from the shirt, and in hastily lifted Hajime’s, who did the same, throwing it aside.

A moment later they were against each other again, skin on skin, and Tooru found himself moving his hips against Hajime’s thigh without realizing it. Only when the singer reached his waist did he realize how desperate he must have looked, and embarrassment filled his face, only to be immediately replaced by excitement when he felt Hajime’s boner pressing against his thigh.

“You undress too” Tooru said, sitting on the mattress and quickly taking off his belt and trousers. Hajime didn’t hesitate to obey, and seconds later he was naked on the bed.

Tooru felt burned at that and couldn’t help but drink in the sight, until Hajime, after a moment of wonder, was on top of him again.

Tooru dropped onto the mattress and didn’t hesitate to run his hands all over the man’s body, reaching every single corner of skin and without worrying about holding back moans that he didn’t want to hold back. He didn’t care at all in that moment about how he should look, he just wanted Hajime, and he wanted everything about him.

He found himself fucking Hajime’s hand, and saying his name several times, and then he found himself with his legs resting on the man’s shoulders with an intense blush on his cheeks while Hajime prepared him with an unimaginable sweetness.

And then Tooru finally found himself where he most wanted to be, in the arms of the man with the burning body and Hajime’s erection making its way inside him, with an almost exasperating attention. Tooru pushed the man’s body deeper with his calves, and Hajime finally began to push, leaving aside all the romance that Tooru didn’t need at the moment.

He fucked him good and deep, and Tooru found himself coming sooner than expected, shaking violently and without having time to feel embarrassed, as Hajime came soon after, collapsing on him.

And then, Tooru’s mind finally began to clear as he realized what had just happened with happiness blooming from his chest and stretching down to his toes. He smiled at the ceiling, and felt like a stupid teenager as he ran his fingers through Hajime’s hair, who had his face buried in his chest.

“Hey,” Tooru said, but received no response. “Iwa-chan? You’re crushing me” he said and at that point Hajime rolled onto the mattress, lying next to him and looking into his eyes.

“Hey,” he just said, and Tooru smiled.

“Hey,” he repeated, and then chuckled. Hajime did the same.

“At a loss for words?” Tooru asked, and Hajime gave him the sweetest smile.

“Yes,” he said, running a hand through Tooru’s hair, and Tooru found himself smiling uncontrollably.

“I should have expected this from Iwa-chan. Bad with words as always, huh?”

“Shut up, Shittykawa.”

“If I stay silent it means you’ll have to talk” Tooru retorted, and Hajime approached him, putting an arm behind his back.

“Or we could both shut up and go to sleep,” he proposed.

“Mh, it depends. Will you cuddle me a little first?”

“As much as you want” was the immediate response, and Tooru found himself blushing despite himself. He approached Hajime though, happy with the answer. He knew that they would probably be separated during the night, or that they would wake up with all their muscles sore, but in that moment he couldn’t care less.

“Ok,” he said with a yawn, feeling tiredness come on him all at once. “Goodnight, Iwa-chan.”

“Goodnight Tooru,” Hajime murmured. And hearing his name spoken with such sweetness, Tooru smiled and fell asleep in his arms.

*** Epilogue ***

“I want you to sing it.”

“What?”

“The song for my father. I want you to sing it. Just for me,” Tooru specified as he played the aforementioned melody on the piano, and Hajime stopped himself from folding the clothes. For a long moment of silence he just stared at the clean shirts, until he decided to drop them on Tooru’s bed. He walked over to the man and sat behind him, wrapping his arms loosely around Tooru’s stomach.

“Are you sure? Isn’t that… personal?” he asked, resting his chin on Tooru’s shoulder, and watching his fingers move elegantly along the keys.

“It is,” Tooru nodded. “That’s why I want you to sing it to me” he said and then: “Please” he added softly, and Hajime left a sweet kiss on his shoulder.

“Of course,” he said and stood up from his chair. Tooru looked up at him with a surprised and grateful expression, and Hajime ruffled his hair. “Don’t look surprised. Just give me the lyrics” he said and Tooru smiled at him. Hajime tried not to dwell too much on his eyes shining under the first rays of the sun, but he couldn’t help but feel his heart melt at the sight.

It was so domestic.

And Hajime knew that he should have gotten used to that by now, after more than three months of living together, but it still all felt new. Waking up in Tooru’s bed was still as beautiful as it had been the first morning he moved in with him, and being able to prepare him breakfast and eat it on the man’s terrace with the sea in front of them, was something repetitive but never boring.

Seeing the man in pajamas – or without – under the first rays of the sun was always beautiful, and being able to kiss him whenever he wanted was something he thought he would never get used to.

He let go of all those thoughts as Tooru handed him a piece of paper, and he took it in his hands reading the first lines of the song.

“I thought you knew it by heart,” Tooru teased a little, evidently not to make the atmosphere too heavy, but Hajime ignored him. He knew there was no need to lighten the mood, not when Tooru clearly needed to vent, and he knew he technically didn’t need the paper – he’d heard Tooru sing it several times, Hajime knew the lyrics and the melody by now – but he didn’t want to risk making a mistake.

He wanted the song to be perfect like Tooru wanted it. He wanted to give him something beautiful, and the last thing he wanted was to ruin perhaps the most important song for him. He wanted Tooru to be able to bask in and feel his creation in the way he deserved.

“Are you ready?” Tooru asked with a small, tight smile, and Hajime nodded, leaning his back against the terrace jamb and glancing at the musician.

He looked at Tooru to make sure he was okay, even though he knew he wasn’t and that halfway through the song he would start crying, and then, knowing he would cry too, Hajime let his gaze slide out of the terrace, towards the sea and the seagulls. He still wanted to sing the song from start to finish for him, without being interrupted by a trembling voice.

Tooru deserved it.

Tooru deserved everything, just as he deserved to have a better life, a father and a happy family.

The piano melody began to wash over him, and Hajime looked at the sheet of lyrics, uselessly, but feeling somehow safer. And then he sang.

Here where the sea shines

And the wind blows hard

On an old terrace

In front of the Gulf of Surriento

A man hugs a child

After he cried

Then he clears his throat

And he starts to sing again

***

“It’s stupid,” Hajime said.

“It’s not. Are you ashamed of me?” Tooru asked with a childish pout as he climbed onto the couch and onto Hajime’s body, like an octopus. Hajime rolled his eyes.

“We don’t need people to know about us. Surely, we don’t need them to know in this ridiculous and dramatic way” he retorted trying to free himself from the hold, but Tooru was a difficult person to free himself from, especially when he threw himself dead weight on top of Hajime, almost as if he wanted to suffocate him.

“What’s wrong with this way?” Tooru complained.

“You want us to kiss on TV during an international concert seen live by the whole world, including families and children!” Hajime exclaimed in exasperation.

“Iwa-chan, I want to kiss you, not fuck you. I know I’m irresistible but I think you could refrain on live television from undressing me,” Tooru said mischievously, and Hajime pressed a hand to his boyfriend’s stupid, handsome face.

“You’re so stupid.”

He pushed him away and finally managed to push Tooru off the couch, who groaned loudly.

“Mean! Mean, Iwa-chan!” he exclaimed as he sat up with his arms crossed and then pouted. “Please!” he screamed like a petulant child.

“No,” Hajime said adamantly. “I don’t want my performance to be covered in gossip.”

“It’s not gossip, it’s our relationship!” Tooru retorted stubbornly.

“Exactly, and I don’t want it to become gossip. Then people will start talking...”

“They’re already talking about us.”

“And making assumptions.”

“They already do.”

“And to ask only about you in interviews, and no longer about music. I don’t like it” Hajime said categorically, and Tooru pouted, this time in a less childish and more disappointed way, and Hajime made a great effort not to be softened by that expression. He was forced to look away from his boyfriend, but Tooru’s voice stung him anyway.

“Ok! I got it. You’re ashamed of me,” the musician said annoyed, and Hajime took a deep breath, exasperated. Maybe he was being an asshole, but Tooru was being overly dramatic. He glanced at the man and saw his sad expression, and inevitably, guilt filled him and he sat down on the floor next to Tooru.

“I’m not ashamed of you and you know it,” he replied, softening his tone and wrapping an arm around his shoulders.

“Well, it seems you do.”

“I do not do it. I just… I don’t like them knowing that way. We can do it more discreetly.”

“It wouldn’t be funny,” Tooru retorted immediately and this time it was Hajime who got annoyed.

“You know what? You’re childish! You mean about our relationship just to advertise your new single” he hissed and Tooru immediately widened his eyes and looked up towards him.

“This is not true!” he snapped.

“Well, it seems so.”

“Don’t you even dare think that!” Tooru shouted and Hajime stood up ignoring him. “Iwaizumi Hajime!” Tooru called back but Hajime waved his hand dismissively.

“I don’t want to talk about it now,” he said and walked out of the living room with a heavy breath, hoping he had made Tooru stop ruining all his plans. He had worked a whole month to surprise him, and he wasn’t going to let his stupid and dramatic partner ruin everything for the last week.

***

Tooru didn’t understand what was happening. Most of all, he didn’t understand why Yahaba was forcing him to sit. It was evident that something was not going according to plan on stage, as the performance was interrupted for some reason. Water break, sure, but why had Kyoutani left the stage? And why were Kindaichi and Hanamaki moving fast? Was something wrong with the instruments or the sound?

If Kyoutani had made a mess Tooru would have strangled him alive. This was a concert that he and Hajime had worked long and hard for, as it was being broadcast live on television, and Tooru had personally made sure that everything went smoothly, it couldn’t be ruined by a stupid drummer and his heat of the moment.

“I’m going over there,” he decided, but Yahaba pushed him back down into the chair.

“For the love of God, stay still. He’s just drinking for a moment,” he pointed out.

“He’s not just drinking, why did Kyoutani walk off stage? And what the hell are Makki and Kindaichi doing? I have to go check.”

“Stay still,” Yahaba hissed, looking like he was on the verge of a fit of rage, but Tooru had no intention of doing so. If something went wrong with one of the instruments, he would have to entertain the crowd in the meantime and find a solution.

It’s not that he didn’t trust Hajime with this, but that concert was important, people were watching them from different countries around the world! Tooru had personally chosen the song list and if even one detail had been different from what he had decided, he would have exploded with anger.

“Sorry for the short interruption,” Hajime said into the microphone to the fans. “I planned a surprise for you,” he said and Tooru frowned as the screams of the fans filled his ears. Surprise? What surprise? And why hadn’t he warned him? If Hajime wanted to do something like that, he could have asked him for help.

All thoughts stopped when Kyoutani came back on stage with a guitar and handed it to Hajime, and Tooru frowned even more as Hajime took it.

“Well, actually more than a surprise for you, it’s a surprise for a special person,” the singer admitted, scratching the back of his head in that slightly embarrassed way, and Tooru froze in place. What?

“I wrote a song. And, by the way, I wrote this alone, not with Oikawa. I couldn’t include him in the creation of the song because, well, I would have ruined the surprise since it’s dedicated to him” he said and loud screams rose from the stadium, echoing in the ears of Tooru, who found himself more and more speechless staring at his boyfriend who spoke on stage.

What?

Then Hajime turned to him and smiled.

“Love, this is for you,” he said as if he were speaking directly to him and not into a microphone. Tooru felt a shiver spread throughout his body and a warm sensation fill him insides because, fuck. Iwaizumi Hajime had written him a song. He had dedicated a song to him. And he had just told the whole world that they were a couple, like Tooru had asked him two weeks ago.

And at the moment that was the last thing that mattered though, because Iwaizumi Hajime had written a song for him.

And then Hajime started playing the guitar and the stadium exploded, as did Tooru’s heart.

I wanna be a good man and see you smile

And I wanna swim between your thighs

I wanna fuck you ‘til you scream and cry

I wanna hold you in my arms tonight

For your love, I’ll do whatever you want

For your love, I’ll do whatever you want

I’ll do whatever you want, for your love

***

“Strip,” Tooru growled as soon as Hajime entered the camper after the concert, and he didn’t even give the singer time to speak. Tooru slammed him forcefully against the wall, kissing him forcefully and pinning him against the wall.

Hajime didn’t stop him, and let him rule the kiss as Tooru wanted, while he stripped him of all his clothes before he even had time to think about what was happening. Tooru quickly undid Hajime’s belt, then took off his jeans and boxers at the same time, and dragged him into the small bed of the camper, forcing him to lie down on it.

“Fuck,” Hajime gasped, raising his arms as Tooru undressed. “Did you like the song?”

“Are you asking me if I liked it?” Tooru growled, pulling off his belt and taking off his pants. “What the fuck is that question, Hajime? You dedicated a love song to me on live television and you expect me not to like it? With those lyrics and that musical arrangement? Avoid asking stupid questions,” he said, gracelessly spreading Hajime’s legs, and smirked when he saw that the singer was already hard.

“Shit,” Hajime said shakily, and oh, Tooru loved it. Just a few minutes ago Hajime was sexy and dominant on stage, and now he was submissive underneath him. Tooru grabbed his knees and bent them over his shoulders, leaning towards him enough to make their noses touch, and a pleased smile filled his face.

“What did you say in your song, Hajime?”

“Tooru,” Hajime gasped, but Tooru ignored him.

“What were you saying? That you would do anything for me?”

“Yes,” Hajime said breathlessly. “Yes, fuck yes, Tooru.”

“Good, love,” Tooru said, kissing him softly. “Then you’re going to get fucked good and hard, because right now the only thing I want to do, darling, is make you feel good, because I love you to death.”

“God,” Hajime moaned.

Then Tooru fucked him.

***

Tooru was furious. He tore up the paper and threw it on the floor, then kicked the stool in front of the piano, screaming in frustration.

“Fuck!”

His voice echoed around him, and Tooru, even angrier, kicked the piano, only to regret it later when he hurt his foot.

“Fuck, fuck,” he cursed, and sat down on the bed, taking off his slipper and checking his fingers, which for the moment seemed healthy. He cursed again and lay back on the mattress, closing his eyes and taking deep breaths trying to calm down. But no matter how much he tried to calm down, he got more and more frustrated and the more time passed the more frustrated he became.

For a song, obviously.

The problem was, that was the song.

A love song for Hajime, and no matter how much effort or emotion he put into it, it was never right. And not only was it no good, the worst part was that Tooru couldn’t sing it. How could he dedicate a song to Hajime if he couldn’t sing it the way it should be?

“Fuck,” he repeated, running his hands through his hair and reopening his eyes.

Maybe you’re doing it wrong, Hanamaki had told him a few days earlier when he found Tooru hysterical in the studio, Maybe you should create a song that you can sing. And he was right, Hanamaki was obviously right, but what was the point of dedicating a song to Hajime that anyone could sing?

Hajime deserved a special song, with a live orchestra, a voice that could cover an enviable vocal range, and lyrics so deep that they brought out everything Tooru felt. But he wasn’t having any of that, and the worst part was that the song wasn’t finished yet, and Tooru had been working on it for too long now.

“Tooru!”

Tooru jumped up as soon as he heard Hajime’s voice and quickly picked up the papers throwing them into the trash can. Then he took the other papers that he had spread over the piano and quickly closed them in a drawer under other texts.

Shit. Tooru had spent the last three days locked in his room writing that damn song, almost forgetting that Hajime would be back that morning. He had completely lost all sense of time, and he had limited himself to eating mostly milk bread. He had promised himself to eat well - more than anything he had promised it to Hajime - but then the song had filled his head and everything else had taken a backseat.

The door opened and Hajime entered, smiling sweetly at him.

“Hey,” he greeted but immediately gave him a strange look. “Are you working?” he asked, looking around, and Tooru quickly smiled at him, hoping the chaos wasn’t too obvious. But it was, since there were a guitar, a bass and a flute scattered around the bed, along with various sheet music.

“Yes, but I’m done for this morning” he admitted, knowing that he couldn’t lie to his boyfriend. In fact, Hajime looked at him and approached him.

“You didn’t get any sleep, did you?” he asked wrapping his arms around his back.

“I slept,” Tooru replied and immediately leaned against his body, smiling genuinely when Hajime placed his lips on his, kissing him softly. “I missed you,” he said and smiled when he saw a faint blush fill the singer’s cheeks.

“I missed you too,” Hajime murmured in an absurdly tender way. How those simple words could generate an avalanche of emotions in Tooru’s chest even after more than a year, the man couldn’t understand. It would have been enough for him to know how to express it, in reality. Making Hajime understand how important he was to him. Evidently though, Tooru wasn’t even able to make the most important person in his life understand how much he meant to him.

“How did the interview go?” Tooru asked to distract himself, and Hajime smiled.

“Which of the many? And you didn’t listen to me? You’re a terrible boyfriend,” he teased, and Tooru pouted.

“I’m not, it’s just that I have other things to do, you know,” he said, holding on to him and preventing Hajime from moving away. After three days without him, Tooru really missed him. Hajime didn’t seem upset by it, instead he ran his hands gently through his hair, without intending to shake it off.

“Are you sure you’re okay? You have terrible dark circles under your eyes.”

“Iwa-chan, you’re always so mean.”

“Don’t tell me you’ve been eating milk bread for three days,” Hajime sighed, and Tooru took on an offended expression.

“Of course not, Iwa-chan. Contrary to what you think, I know how to take care of myself,” he declared.

“Then why are there three packages from the bakery? You don’t want me to think you ate them all this morning,” Hajime raised an eyebrow, and Tooru snorted, planting his face in the man’s neck. After three days apart he breathed in his scent, and immediately felt better.

“Don’t be mean,” he complained, and he immediately felt Hajime’s hands massaging his back.

“I’m not, idiot. I worry about you,” the man replied softly, and Tooru smiled secretly. He knew it, of course, but seeing and feeling that part of Hajime was always electrifying.

“Come on Loserkawa, I think you have to go to sleep,” Hajime said, breaking the hug, and Tooru moaned loudly.

“I’m not tired!”

“Well, I am, so how about I take a shower and we sleep together?” he asked and Tooru smiled.

“I have to shower too.”

“Stupid.”

“Iwa-chan.”

“Come on, we can do it together.”

Tooru smiled satisfied and followed Hajime into the bathroom.

***

The shower was actually quick, and since they were both tired, they just washed each other and exchanged a few sweet kisses, before getting out and getting under the sheets. Tooru yawned and snuggled into Hajime’s arms, and when he felt the man’s arm around him, he smiled satisfied and closed his eyes.

He wanted to talk to Hajime and ask him about Tokyo, but the accumulated tiredness of the three days hit him, and he fell asleep shortly after. He slept heavily and long, and when he woke up, he would have felt guilty for falling asleep so quickly, if only Hajime wasn’t sleeping peacefully next to him. Evidently, the singer was also devastated after three full days of interviews, shoots and television appearances in Tokyo. Tooru understood this, he often faced something like this too.

He was content to spend long minutes in bed simply looking at Hajime and gently running his fingers along his chest, before getting up to go to the bathroom and then going down to the kitchen and preparing breakfast.

Luckily there was some milk bread in the fridge, and luckily Hajime liked it too, and Tooru also made a coffee for his boyfriend before going up to the room, assuming that he would wake up soon.

When he returned to the room, Hajime was unsurprisingly awake - he had this ability to always wake up before noon, regardless of what time he went to sleep - with the phone in his hand and with one arm under the pillow. He turned to Tooru when he heard him enter, and gave him a lazy smile.

“Breakfast in bed?” he asked and Tooru smiled.

“And the award for best boyfriend goes to…”

“Me, to put up with you,” Hajime concluded, and Tooru pouted.

“Mean, you’re mean,” he complained while carrying the coffee and milk bread to the bedside table next to Hajime. “You should thank me for- oh” he exclaimed when Hajime surprisingly grabbed him by the waist and dragged him onto the bed. Without any grace he threw the producer with his back against the mattress and in a few seconds Tooru found himself blinking as he looked at Hajime lying on top of him, with his arms on either side of his face.

“Hey,” Hajime smiled at him affectionately, and Tooru smiled.

“Hey. So, I’m the best boyfriend in the world,” he declared, and Hajime shook his head.

“Not modest as usual.”

“Iwa-chan, I brought you breakfast in bed and-”

His words were cut off when Hajime’s lips were on his, and Tooru was quick to return the kiss, twining his fingers in his hair.

“-and I’m the best,” he concluded, when they separated.

“Yes, good. Since you are the best boyfriend in the world, how about you play me something?” Hajime asked. Tooru immediately became curious, given the not-so-usual request.

“Which song?” he asked immediately.

“Mh, since you are the greatest artistic producer, I guess you will understand when I start singing” Hajime said, getting up from the bed and drinking his coffee in one gulp. Tooru sat up on the mattress with his brow furrowed.

“Huh?” he asked, and Hajime chuckled.

“Come on, sit at the piano. I know you’ll recognize the song right away” he said and Tooru obeyed, although still confused. However, since Hajime seemed genuinely happy, Tooru didn’t want to back out. And playing with Hajime was always nice regardless, even if they were childish and stupid songs.

“Can you at least give me a hint?” he asked, but Hajime shook his head with a smile.

“No” he said and Tooru pouted a little. In the end he gave up though, realizing that Hajime wouldn’t tell him anything. Instead, he waited for the man to begin singing, his hands ready to play whatever song the singer had in mind.

Hajime positioned himself between the piano and the terrace, in his usual place, and gave him an affectionate smile before starting to sing.

Loving you tires me

It empties me inside

Something that resembles

Laughter in tears

Tooru froze as soon as the words came out of Hajime’s mouth and his throat immediately tightened as his eyes flew to the man, who continued to look at him with a loving expression, taking a small pause almost urging him to play.

But Tooru couldn’t play.

He could barely understand how Hajime could know that song. And why was he singing it to him? The song wasn’t ready yet, Tooru was still working on it. And Hajime shouldn’t have known anything about it regardless, since it was dedicated to him. Tooru should have sung it to him, not the other way around. Except Tooru couldn’t sing it, and Hajime’s voice was perfect for that tone and that interpretation.

“How- how do you know-?” he stammered.

Hajime didn’t answer, instead he approached the pianist and continued to sing, in a low, almost whispered tone that made Tooru’s heart beat wildly in his chest.

Loving you tires me

It gives me melancholy

What you want to do is life

It’s life, it’s mine

“Play,” Hajime said, pausing. “Play it for me,” he asked and Tooru couldn’t help but obey, albeit stunned and unable to form a coherent thought about what Hajime was doing. He started where Hajime left off and immediately the man’s voice merged with the piano notes, this time louder than the introduction.

Love me again

Do it gently

A year, a month, an hour

Desperately

Love me again

Do it gently

Just for an hour

May it be forever

It was perfect. Incredibly perfect. Hajime was singing it divinely, better than Tooru had thought possible, and still with the intonation he had been looking for. Pauses where they needed to be, whispered where they needed to be whispered, loud, where they needed to be, and the words suddenly didn’t seem as pathetic as they had seemed to him that morning. The melody no longer seemed banal.

Soon the surprise was replaced by excitement and the desire to prove something to Hajime – whatever it was – and Tooru found the strength to play forcefully, as he should have done alone, and the sound of the piano completely filled the room.

It wasn’t something Tooru had expected, but somehow it worked, even though it was the first time they’d played it together. He still didn’t understand how Hajime could know it, and above all how he could already sing so well, but it didn’t matter. The important thing was that the man in his life could hear it and understand that Tooru had written it only and exclusively for him.

No one else would have heard it, Tooru would have jealously kept it for himself, for the two of them, for the most intimate moments they would have shared together. He only hoped that Hajime understood what Tooru had wanted to convey, but from the way he was singing, it seemed like he did. It felt like it had entered him. At least, to Tooru, Hajime’s voice entered directly into his chest.

He played the piano solo when Hajime fell silent and in that he tried to convey everything, closing his eyes to immerse himself completely in the song and have no distractions, especially in Hajime’s penetrating gaze. When Tooru completed the solo Hajime began singing again, with a flawless start, and Tooru felt his emotions overwhelm him, wondering how it was possible.

Hajime sang the words Tooru had written, and Tooru played, and somehow, contrary to what he had thought that morning, everything came together harmoniously.

Tooru reached the final part by gently running his fingers over the keys in a softer melody, and Hajime followed suit by lowering his voice and singing the last part of the song. It was almost a whisper, as if it were dedicated only to him – and it was – before the last note marked the end of the song.

Tooru stared at his boyfriend in disbelief before he managed to open his mouth.

“How did you know it? You shouldn’t have,” he said with a dry throat, and Hajime smiled.

“I know you, Tooru. I know when you stress out about a song, and you were stressing out way too much. In vain, by the way, because I love this song” he told him and Tooru felt tears accumulating in the corners of his eyes at that sentence.

“Really?”

“I do,” Hajime said, walking closer to him and cupping Tooru’s face in his hands. “It’s gorgeous. I wanted to wait for you to play it for me, but you were taking too long, and I was afraid it would be years before you played it for me,” he joked, but it was clear that the fear was real.

“I can’t sing it,” Tooru explained. “The vocal range is not mine. Someone else had to sing it, but no one had to hear it before you. To be honest, I don’t want anyone to ever hear it but you.”

“Tooru-”

“Hajime,” Tooru interrupted. “I love you so much, I just want you to know, that I’m so happy to have you by my side. So happy that sometimes it seems like too much and sometimes it hurts, but in a good way. I don’t know if you can tell from the song but I want you to know that you are my everything, that I will always love you, and that I am so selfish that I want you to love me like I love you” he said and Hajime ran his fingers through his face, wiping away a tear that Tooru hadn’t realized had escaped.

“I got it,” Hajime said, lowering himself to be at his height and then kneeling, obviously uncomfortable in a half-position. “And know that I love you so too. So desperately and gently,” he revealed and Tooru smiled watery, feeling something melt inside him. He was about to say something but Hajime dropped to one knee and pulled a box out of his pocket, and suddenly the whole world seemed to stop around them.

Tooru’s throat closed completely and his eyes widened as Hajime opened the box revealing a gold ring.

“Tooru, I want to love you forever. Do you w-”

“Yes,” Tooru said. “God, yes, Hajime. Yes, yes!” he screamed and felt new tears welling up in his eyes, and with a rush he hugged Hajime with such enthusiasm that he fell backwards.

“Shit, Tooru.”

“Oh my God, I can’t believe it,” Tooru said, wrapping his arms around Hajime’s neck and kissing him. “Yes, yes, yes, I marry you, Hajime, I marry you.”

“Technically I haven’t asked you yet,” Hajime pointed out, and Tooru hovered over him, an uncontrollable smile on his face.

“Ask me then,” he said and Hajime snorted an amused smile.

“If you let me,” he joked and Tooru nodded vigorously, not saying anything only because he knew that otherwise his voice would tremble. He stared at Hajime and felt overwhelmed a second time, because the man was looking at him with disarming affection.

“Do you want to marry me?” Hajime asked softly, and Tooru nodded.

“Yes, of course yes!” he exclaimed and would have thrown himself on the man again to fill him with kisses if Hajime hadn’t grabbed his wrist, foreseeing his move.

“Let me put the ring on you then, idiot,” he said, his voice shaking with emotion, and Tooru felt his smile widen even more. He obeyed, because having Hajime slip the ring onto his finger was something unique in the world, and he watched with a heart full of joy as Hajime’s trembling hands slid the jewel along his ring finger.

“Do you like it?” Hajime asked uncertainly and Tooru stared at the gold ring with a dreamy look, before bursting into watery laughter.

“What a stupid question, Iwa-chan, of course I do.”

*** Fifty years later ***

Oikawa Tooru has died: the king of music leaves us at the age of 76

This morning was a sad awakening for us all due to shocking news: two days after the death of Iwaizumi Hajime, his husband Oikawa Tooru, the Great King, died. The artistic producer, international music star, passed away at the age of 76 due to cardiac arrest, following the fate of his husband.

Many of us danced to his songs, sang them, got excited and were accompanied in the moments of life by his beautiful and very famous songs. Oikawa was not simply an artistic producer but a true star, the king of music, and with his husband Iwaizumi, he created true works of art that moved people from all over the world.

Unfortunately, the great king left us, in a dramatic way, having suffered a sudden cardiac arrest which was fatal. The news shocked millions of fans who still had not recovered from the announcement of Iwaizumi Hajime’s death, and rumors about his death have already begun to circulate, declaring Oikawa’s inability to deal with the death of his husband, which would have led to follow him a few hours later.

Oikawa Tooru was in his house in Shichigahama when the illness struck him. His nephew Oikawa Takeru immediately called the ambulance, but by the time the paramedics arrived on the scene it was already too late. They tried to resuscitate him with cardiopulmonary massage without success, Oikawa Tooru arrived at the Medical Center already no longer breathing, and at 06.25 they surrendered and declared him dead.

The news spread quickly on social media, from Twitter to TikTok, thousands of fans in tears mourned his death. What happened has also caused sadness in the world of entertainment, some stars have released statements such as Kiyoko who said “I can’t stop crying. I worked with him several times, and besides a great artist, he was a golden person. The world has lost a special person, my thoughts and heart go out to his family.”

Or, Hinata Shoyo: “he was a friend and an extraordinary artist. I still can’t believe he left us, I join his family and fans in celebrating his incredible life.”

Finally, Kageyama Tobio said that “Oikawa has been a source of inspiration throughout my life. I am devastated by the news of his death. The world has lost the one and only King of Music.”

Hanamaki Takahiro, his personal sound engineer and great friend, shares the memory of those last, heartbreaking moments alongside Oikawa and Iwaizumi. And he says:

«Tooru was devastated before Hajime’s death. When we found out about Hajime’s illness it was terrible for all of us, but especially for Tooru, who didn’t want to accept it for many days. He took Hajime to all the hospitals, traveling to Europe and America to get the opinion of the best experts, refusing to give up and accept what all the doctors were telling him. He helped Hajime in every possible way and in everything he needed and was close to him until the last second, even holding his hand while Hajime lost consciousness. He was heartbroken, and still had the strength to stay close to him and reassure him at the worst moment. He was a strong man, I don’t think I’ve ever met a stronger man than him, and the love that bound him and Hajime was so pure that it hurt to see it.»

«After Hajime’s death he was devastated. Takeru and I spent the night with him so he wouldn’t be alone, but it was terrible to see him in those states, especially since we couldn’t do anything for him. The second morning he seemed more relaxed, almost serene. At the time I thought he was holding back his emotions, as he sometimes used to do. But now that I think about it, I think he was calm because he knew that he would follow his love shortly after. He thanked me, I don’t even know what for, I wish I had thanked him for everything he did for me.»

«He also told me that he wanted to release two songs. I think it’s a gift to his fans and all the people who have supported him so far. They are not recent songs, they are songs that he wrote years ago, he declared he never published them because he considered them too intimate. Besides the fact that he wanted them to be perfect, and we all know how much of a perfectionist Tooru was. They would never have been perfect in his eyes.»

«He said that he regretted not having released them sooner, because no one would have been able to hear them sung by Hajime live, a divine experience, from what he said. Well, we know that he had a pretty high opinion of Hajime and his voice. He left me two videos though, in which he recorded Hajime while he sings to him. I think at least, I honestly don’t know what’s in these videos, I haven’t seen them yet, but since this is Tooru’s last wishes, I would like to share them with all of you. The first song is called ‘Loving you’, he wrote ‘this is the song for the love of my life’. The second song doesn’t have a title, he just wrote that it is dedicated to his father.»

Here where the sea shines

And the wind blows hard

On an old terrace

In front of the Gulf of Surriento

A man hugs a child

After he cried

Then he clears his throat

And he starts to sing again