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At first he didn't know what happened.
He just really frustrated and depressed because he lost his chance to debut on Idol inc. He's already 20,and there's no way he could debut in his agency because the contract he has with the agency is going to end. Not like the agency has any plan to debuted an Boy group anyway but still. He's already too old for any agencies and he's already too olf to debuted. He didn't event going to college because of his dream to debuted as an Idol but here he was, failing again on his last chance.
It did not matter anyway, because he's going to kill himself soon.
He jumped from the top floor on the building, getting ready to hit the ground soon.
Except he didn't.
When he opened his eyes, he found out that he's back to when he's still 14 years old.
He didn't understand at all. Why is he still alive? Didn't he jumped from that building? Why is he back in his 14 years old self?
Is everything happened to him was a dream?
If so, why was it felt so real?
He didn't understand, but even if all of it was a dream, then it was a warning. And even if it was real, then he had a chance to change everything.
So the first thing he did was left the agency where he was previously. Agency that dumped him before. He left that agency and go for another agency to make for his debut, because he know that agency are going to release the new group soon, and he's going to be one of the debuted person.
Except he wasn't. He didn't stan a chance to get into the debuted group, and by the time he reach the age of twenty, he still didn't manage to debuted.
Then everything start over again. He was back to his 14 years old self. This time he was sure that something's wrong.
So he did try again. He try another ways to make into debuted, he tried to be good, he tried to choose the best agency, he even tried to get into another survival show.
But it's all failed.
And everything start over again.
He lost count, really. It doesn't fell real. It feels like he stuck in some sort of strange fever dream, and he's been sleeping and didn't get to wake up at all.
He tried everything, really. He even tried to pursued another goal, such as becoming a Soldier, or an Athlete, or even tried to becoming a government official. But whenever he reach the age of twenty, he died and came back to his 14 years old self.
‘What was the point of all of this?’
He want to scream, he want to smack something. He didn't like it at all. He was suffering. He's tired and wants everything to over already.
‘Please, save me.’
‘Ah, It's start over again.’
Lee Sejin thought as he watched at his reflection on the mirror. He looked at his own hand and brought it up to his own face, cover all of his face.
‘Maybe i should let it flow, just like the before all of this even start.’ he thought to himself
as he brushed his hair with his hand. He's tired, he didn't want to do anything at all.
Well, he know that's not a solution, because he already going through that for like, 34 times? He didn't now the exact number, but he gone through a couple of his try not doing anything, just let it flow like before all of this timeloop shit even start, and the result is nothing. He come back again when he reach the age of twenty.
‘Whatever, it's not like everything i did can stop this insane situation.’
And so, he let everything flow.
He watched and let it when he got pushed from the debuted team for the nth times. He got into smoke for the nth times, he failed the School President election for the nth times, amd he joined Happy Friends Agency for the nth times. He just didn't give a damn anymore.
Because when he reach twenty, everything will start over.
Because nothing is different. And even if there's a change, he doubt that this goddamned situation can't stop.
At least that's what he thinks before he joined Idol inc for the nth times.
He watched the familiar host and judges in front of him, as well as the familiar contestants. He watched as one by one they got to showed their best performance to know their rank in this program. He watched the contestants Cha Eugene, who never failed to debut from this program no matter which turn he's in, perform his dances moves in front of the judges.
Ah, he's jealous of him. His future has been set stone. He's going to get a first place and debut from this program.
He wants to be like him.
But Lee Sejin know very well that's not even possible, for he know that he'll never passes the age of twenty.
When it's his turn to show his performance, he dance and sing with a song that he uses for so many times. He already mastered the danced and the song, so it feels weird to change for another performance. Surprisingly, he two higher rank from before. It was the first for him.
And then he saw him.
That man introduce himself as Park Moondae. He has a pale skin and a brown hair that styled in a way that it hides his brows, but somehow it's nice to looked at. He's facial expressions is as flat as a wall, and his eyes seems disinterested at everyone and everything that happened in here. He looks so basic, but he knows that he never meet this man before in all of his turn where he went to Idol inc. And then he start to sing.
His voice sounds so good, like he was an angel fall from the heaven to blessed all the human by his lovely song. It was so clear and Lee Sejin feel so calm listening to Park Moondae's singing. Apparently, the judges seems to have the same thought as Lee Sejin as all of the praise Park Moondae for his voice and his choices of song. One of the judge though, ask if Park Moondae can dance a little because he was curious and he stated that an Idol must able to Dance as well.
And then Lee Sejin find himself laughing.
He laughed so loud because Park Moondae's choice of choreography for him to dance. He dance at POP CON with his stiff expression, and even doing the signatures heart posed with his stiff face. It was so hilarious that he find himself laugh even more when Park Moondae finished his performance. Something that he never been able to do since he got stuck in this loop.
Well, maybe with Park Moondae, this turn can be different. And maybe he might be able to debut.
Lee Sejin is Glad that he meets Park Moondae.
Park Moondae is easy to talked with, even if mostly he didn't talk at all. He's easily pissed off when things didn't get on his way, and god he's funny.
He likes to glare at someone who he didn't like, and he something clenched his fist when the judges being too pushy. He likes to glare at Lee Sejin when he pissed Moondae off and for Lee Sejin, that expression of his is simmilar to tibetan fox.
And he finds Tibetan Fox cute.
Okay, maybe not. But Moondae is cute when he's like that.
And oh god, since when the name ‘Moondaemoondae’ rolled so easily on his mouth.
Lee Sejin is in love with Park Moondae.
And he wants to debuted with him as a team.
But he forgets one thing that he needs to do if he wants to debut.
“I-I-I will left tommorow.”
Lee Sejin must now already that it's impossible for hin to debuted. Why did he get his hope highs just because there's someone new on his turn? When he can't even prevent this little rumor to spread? He's gone through this so many times already and yet, why he can't prevent this thing to happen?
He wouldn't touched thise cigs if he know there will be Park Moondae in this turn.
Heck, he shouldn't even smoke in the first place.
But that's the only comfort he got.
Still, he shouldn't smoke at all.
If he didn't smoke, there's no way the picture could be spread in the first place.
“I don't think that's a really good idea.” Park Moondae's voice bring him back to the reality.
“What?”
“(If you understand the situation, then step down right now.) is what the person who posted this wrote. If you step down now, in the end, you just acknowledging what he said was true.” said Park Moondae while looking on his phone.
“Right now, does it mean more to nitpick what's right and wrong?”
“...Let's stop this. All it's doing is making me upset.” ‘there's no hope anymore’ “The result are the same even if i refute those claims in this situation.” ‘because I've been gone through this so many times that i lost count.’
Just when Lee Sejin drown again on his overthinking and break down, Park Moondae shoved his phone in front of Lee Sejin's face, much to make him startled.
“This is photoshoped.” He said that with his usual serious face.
“If you zoom in on the hand hokding the cig here, a few of the pixels are craked. The cig and the person don't even match. With this amount of exposures....” Park Moondae explained his reasons to Lee Sejin, but Lee Sejin was to surprised to even listening Park Moondae's ramble.
‘...so it was photoshoped? Why is that didn't even cross my mind?’ he thought about that while Park Moondae continued to explain.
All of them spend the night to search for the original picture so they can prove Sejin's innocence. It was the first time Lee Sejin has ever experienced that kind of things, when everyone tried to help him gone through this.
He wants to cry.
And when Kim Raebin noticed the pictures that's similar to the photoshoped one, he finally held a sight of relieve.
He's thankfull to everyone on his team.
Especially Park Moondae.
He's debuted. He finally did.
It was like a dream come true. He didn't even think it's possible in his every turn, but here he is. In the stage with another six person who make it with him. He watched every single of them, from the insufferable Sunbae who unfortunately shares a name with him, to the easily startled Seon Ahyeon.
And the he looked at that person, who shining so brightly in the front of stage, holding the prize and gat congratulations from the host with his usual Tibetan Fox expression.
His moon, his light, his hope.
Park Moondae, the one that he love. The one that make all of his turn of regression feels worth it.
All of it was worth it, because in the end, his suffering brought him to Park Moondae.
He's glad.