Chapter Text
If anyone else were in his shoes right now, they’d think the situation was romantic. The room was dark save for the soft candlelight on the table, it was hot and humid with the smell of roses, and he’d just eaten the fanciest slice of cake in his life.
But the bells and whistles of romance always lead to an escalating series of events. Something would happen tonight, and it took everything for him to anxiously follow along. Now Cirrus was inches away from his face, pinning him against the wall. Warm fingertips trailed past the hem of his shirt, it sent shockwaves up his spine as it squeezed the cold bare skin of his waist.
“Skylar…” He cooed. His breath smelled of mint, his red gaze locked onto his own. He’s gonna do it, Skylar thought. He’s gonna kiss me…
***
Skylar’s back was in pain. It took a long 4 hours but they’d finally made it to the hotel their group would be staying at. The lobby seemed fancy enough with its decorative lighting and porcelain tiled floor but it was nothing too bougie. Regardless, it was impressive their school had the funding to provide this level of lodging for a field trip. Guess the tuition paid off, he thought.
Ji-gyeom, Chan-Il, and the others were talking to the teacher at the front desk, so he allowed himself some relief on the couch. He’s been carrying his backpack for so long and the one thing he wanted was to finally put it down.
“-What?!” Ji-gyeom wailed from across the room.
Chan-Il pulled him by the shoulders with an awkward laugh. “Hey, keep your voice down.” He turned to the teacher. “We’ll figure it out Sir.” After exchanging nods, their teacher walked away, flipping his writing board. In the distance Chan-Il was attempting to comfort his angered friend. The others had sour looks on their faces, save for Cirrus who just seemed tired.
Skylar knew then that his rest would be delayed, so he pulled himself back up and took small steps towards the scene. “Did something go wrong?”
“Apparently one of the rooms only has one bed and they decided we should deal with it since we’re all guys.” Jiwon sighed, “And here I thought we were done with cramped rooms after last year’s trip.”
Skylar readjusted the weight on his shoulders, “Wait, I thought each group had three rooms this year?”
“We do, and there’s six of us so two people are gonna have to share a bed.”
Cirrus scoffed, sitting on one of the chairs with his legs crossed. “I’m definitely not doing that, you guys can argue amongst yourselves.”
The group fell silent, the lobby’s music and the chatter from others around filled the empty space of their conversation. No one wanted to be the first to talk after that, they all knew how difficult it was to make Cirrus compromise. Talking after him would put too much attention on themselves.
Skylar sneered at the sight, even as seniors Cirrus was still being as annoying as ever. Normally he’d want Cirrus to play fair about this but he didn’t care anymore. It had been a long four hours and he wanted to unpack his stuff, especially since he was bringing the most equipment for their project.
He groaned, it was frustrating being the considerate one. “It’s okay, I can just sleep on the floor. I’m sure there are extra blankets in the room anyways.”
“Wait- Seriously?” Chan-Il’s eyes lit up. “I feel bad… Should I room up with you then? We could take turns sleeping on the bed.”
If this were last year, the thought of sharing a room with Chan-Il would have made his heart explode. Fortunately though, his attention was now fully taken by the silver haired boy sitting in front of him with a sour look on his face. It was obvious that he couldn’t room with Chan-Il.
“-Hey. I’ll room with him. Skylar and I have experience sharing a room” Cirrus emphasized the last point as he rose from the chair. There was a knowing look in his eyes. “You don’t mind, right?”
Try as he might, Skylar couldn't stop the blood from rushing to his cheeks. If they were alone he would have punched him already. “Do you have to say it like that? Let’s just go already.”
Cirrus hummed a happy tune. “Hey Ji-gyeom, give me the keys.”
“Oh, that’s it then? Skylar’s gonna sleep on the floor?” Skylar nodded. “Okay then, I’m not complaining man.” Ji-gyeom grabbed one of three keys lined up on the front desk’s counter, tossing it to Cirrus.
As soon as it landed on his palm, Cirrus hooked the keys on his finger. A smile formed on his face. “Alright, we’ll see you guys at dinner.”
After a whole day of traveling and bickering, Skylar was finally able to relieve his shoulders of pain. Gently, he placed the bag down on the corner of the room, making sure it was upright. Cameras, lighting equipment, a laptop, and a few other fragile things were packed, so he had to be extra careful. Normally, it’d be easier to place his bag on a table or closet, but the small square of a room only had one bathroom, one table, a fridge, a shelf for clothes, and one bed.
The entire area was one and a half times the size of his tiny bedroom, and he was sharing it with Cirrus who was already monopolizing everything. Things belonging to the boy were scattered all around. His bag was already on the table, clothes hogging the bottom shelf, and to top it all off, he bolted into to the shower immediately despite hearing Skylar complaining about needing to pee since the bus ride. On most days, Cirrud acted like a spoiled prince assuming ownership of everything around him. Most likely cause of his upbringing in a rich household.
“Hey,”
'Speak of the devil.' Skylar turned and Cirrus’s hand cupped his cheek, “You wanna go now right? I can finish that for you.”
Skylar wanted to be mad. He’d been wanting to go off on Cirrus for being so inconsiderate the whole day. But every once in a while he would decide to be affectionate, and when Cirrus wanted to be sweet, it was intoxicating. His hand was soft and warm, his voice low and soothing, and with a face like that it was difficult to say no. Skylar wanted to melt in his touch.
“O-oh, thanks..” His cheeks flushed red, holding the delicate hand on his face.
Cirrus smiled. Skylar answered with his own. The room was warm, their eyes locked onto each other, he could feel his heart thumping into his head, afraid if the other boy could feel it too.
And then Cirrus leaned close, his fingers sliding from Skylar’s cheek to his neck. He let the other boy pull them close to one another, their breaths mixing in the air. Cirrus closed his eyes, his lips inches away from Skylar's, but before anything could happen, an ice cold void tugged at the shorter boy's chest.
He shifted away. “A-ah… No, I can’t.”
Cirrus sighed. He picked himself back up and sat on the bed. “Not ready?”
“I’m sorry… It’s not your fault.” Skylar frowned. Every single time his body would freeze up, and he'd push away. This wasn't the first time. Sadly, he also knew it wouldn't be the last.
“I understand, it’s just-” Cirrus twiddled his fingers. “I want to kiss you… I’m sorry about before but we’ve been going out for months now. We hold hands, we hug, sleep on the same bed, surely it should be fine right?”
He was right. It wasn’t supposed to be that different. But he had a special history with love. One that made his heart sink and senses fail. He's always ran away from affection since then, this was no different. “I think… I just get anxious with how sudden it is.”
Cirrus couldn’t be mad. Not after everything they’d been through. He loved him. He could wait. Time spent waiting for Skylar would feel like nothing when they could finally express their love for one another. One day, he thought, it'll all be worth it.
“You should go shower now.”
Skylar nodded… He pulled the towel from the shelf and carried himself slowly to the bathroom, the weight of all this tension heavy in his heart. Before he closed the door behind him, he murmured a thought, loud enough so his partner could hear. “Cirrus, I know I don’t say it much but I do love you. You know that right?”
“Yeah, me too.” He could hear the crack in Cirrus’ voice, it made him feel awful. Skylar wondered if they’d sleep next to each other tonight.