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Lena looks up just in time to watch Kara enter her office. She stands, mutes the TV that’s showing the evening news that she had largely forgotten at this point, and gestures to the couch to the side more as a habit than anything else. Kara doesn’t even look at the sofa.
“Hey,” Kara says, immediately going for a hug.
It’s one of those things that Lena has gotten used to. She’s not quite sure why. Any other person and she would’ve immediately stepped back or shown discomfort. But the first time Kara hugged her, Lena was so disarmed that she barely stopped herself from releasing a pleased sigh.
So now there are hugs every time they meet, ones that she reciprocates without thought.
This evening, the hug is tighter, longer by a split second, followed by a sigh as Kara dropped her bags and sat down.
“Long day?” Lena asks grabbing her glass of whiskey before sitting down too.
Kara nods. “It’s been… a day.” She clears her throat before sitting up straight, “Which is why I’m so glad you agreed to meet me this late.”
“When ace reporter Kara Danvers calls, how could I say no?” Lena smiles, pleased at herself for making Kara laugh. Her humor is mostly deadpan, scathing even. It doesn’t usually make people laugh. But Kara laughs at them anyway.
“S-stop,” Kara says, shaking her head but unable to stop herself from smiling. “I’m not that good.”
“And I’m not a prodigy,” Lena nods. “Let’s just lie tonight.”
“Okay, okay,” Kara holds up her hands. “I guess if The Lena Luthor lets me have exclusive interviews, then I must be worth something.”
Lena rolls her eyes but nods. “And if The Kara Danvers thinks I’m interesting enough to interview, then I guess it must be true.”
“Interesting is an understatement,” Kara says before she clears her throat.
Whatever she was going to say was interrupted by a knock on the door, however. Jess strolls in with a couple of trays of food, mostly burgers and fries and a plate of fruits, already laid out from their bags and on to plates.
Lena murmurs her thanks. “Go home, Jess. I’ll pack up here.”
“Are you sure, Ms. Luthor?”
Lena nods.
“Okay,’ Jess says with a slight nod. “Good night, Ms. Luthor, Ms. Danvers.”
“Good night, Jess,” Kara and Lena say at the same time.
She watches her assistant quickly walk towards the door and with one last glance, Jess closes it gently.
“I hope you don’t mind but I ordered food,” Lena says, turning to Kara who looks like she’s about to drool. “I was getting hungry and I didn’t want you to miss dinner either.”
“How did you know I haven’t had dinner?”
Lena sits up. “I pay attention, Ms. Danvers.”
“I mean, it shows,” Kara says, looking at the spread before her. “You even got my burger order right…but an extra burger?”
Lena takes a sip of her whiskey. “The last time we had dinner you looked like you wanted to have some more but I wasn’t really sure if you were just embarrassed to ask or something.”
Kara ducks her head, smiling. “Yeah, uhmm. My metabolism is insane so I can eat a lot but—I don’t know. People find it weird.” She shrugs.
“It’s not weird at all. Some of us just win the genetics lottery jackpot,” Lena says. “If I didn’t already anticipate the long night ahead of me,” she gestures at the stack of folders and organizers on her desk, “I wouldn’t even dare eat something this heavy tonight. I wouldn’t be able to sleep properly if I did.”
“And the whiskey?” Kara glancing at the folders, at the burger, and then at the glass of whiskey.
“Calms me down,” Lena answers after taking a sip. “I also had a day.” She reaches for a burger and Kara does the same.
“Oh gosh,” she says after a bite, “Now I feel bad hogging your time like this.”
“You’re always a welcome distraction.”
Kara laughs. Lena’s not quite sure what was funny about what she said so she just smiles. They both take a few seconds to take a bite.
“Speaking of distraction,” Kara says, one hand still holding up her burger. The other hand begins to rummage her bag and she pulls out her phone. “I’ll start recording, is that okay?”
Lena nods. Kara always asks. Lena always nods.
The interview doesn’t take long. It never really does. They are both fully aware of the banality of the pre-prepared questions that they must suffer through, courtesy of Snapper and the rest of CatCo’s editorial team. It’s truly a testament to Kara’s talent in writing that the resulting articles always come out sounding well-thought out and insightful.
“Okay,” Kara says, running through a list on her phone. She stopped recording moments ago and is now just double checking if she missed anything when Lena hears a couple of notifications come in and a soft, “What?” from Kara.
“Is everything okay?”
Kara frowns. “Apparently, the power in my apartment building is out.” She murmurs a few more words, mouthing off her reply to whoever she’s texting back. “And it won’t be fixed for a few hours.” She sighs. “I think I can just stay at my sister’s—”
“Or you can just stay here,” Lena offers. “Keep me company for a bit. My internet is probably faster than your sister’s and you can use my desk.”
“I—I don’t want to intrude—”
“On me and my readings? Please. I’m gonna be spending the night sifting through contracts, studies, medical journals and a few spreadsheets. I insist you intrude on them,” Lena says, standing up and quickly moving towards her desk. She takes the folders, organizers, her laptop and her phone and moves them to the side.
“There’s an outlet under the table if you need it,” Lena says as she settles back to the couch. “What?” she asks as Kara still hasn’t moved, her eyes never leaving Lena either.
“See this is why you’re the CEO,” Kara says, finally looking away from Lena and pulling her laptop from her bag. “You’re pushy but like…not in the offensive way? You know what I mean?”
Lena chuckles darkly. “Oh, trust me, it’s offensive to a lot of people.”
“Sounds like that’s their problem, not yours.”
“Yeah well, they tend to make it my and everyone else’s problem.”
Kara shakes her head, gathering as much food as she can carry with one hand, the other hand carrying her laptop and charger. “Well, it’s their loss.” Lena watches as Kara sinks down into her office chair, a soft sound emanating from her that stopped Lena’s brain for a second. “Wow… How do you get anything done with a chair this comfy?”
Lena just laughs as she follows after Kara, bringing the rest of their food with her as she takes the seat in front of her desk. For a few minutes, they’re both quietly munching on their food, Lena reading and occasionally writing something down on her tablet while Kara has an earphone in one ear, probably re-listening to their interview.
Occasionally, some flashy headline catches Lena’s eye on the TV, but with a casual glance her brain immediately sorts it as either ‘For Later’ or ‘Interesting But Not Important’ and she goes back to her work.
Not that it’s distracting or anything, but it’s fascinating to fully realize that Kara’s habit of murmuring her replies while texting also applies when she’s writing her articles. It’s not quite articulated enough for Lena to understand what she’s typing, sometimes Lena suspects she’s not even speaking English anymore, but it’s still endearing especially when paired with that laser focus.
From time to time, she could see Kara’s head twitch slightly, as if she’s hearing something and her brain processes and filters it the same way Lena’s does when encountering outside stimulus.
Lena’s definitely distracted. She takes a sip of her whiskey. It’s a good distraction to have though.
Something catches her attention then… speaking of distractions.
“She must be lonely,” Lena says, staring at the TV for a second before picking up the last bites of her burger. It’s showing a news report of Supergirl stopping a robbery in progress and leaving the scene with all the robbers cuffed and unconscious.
“Supergirl?” Kara’s voice is muffled, in the middle of chewing her fries while typing. Lena sees her glance at the TV before returning to her work, one hand reaching for another bunch of fries.
“Yeah. Don’t you think she looks lonely?”
Kara shrugs. “Everybody loves her.”
Lena frowns, now fully turning to Kara.
“That doesn’t mean anything. It’s well-documented how isolated celebrities can be despite being surrounded by millions of adoring fans.”
“Like you?” Kara grins.
Lena makes a small, amused sound, her attention now back to the TV. “If by adoring fans, you mean people who want me dead, then yeah, like me.”
“That can’t be true.”
“On any given day, entirely dependent on the previous day’s tabloid news about me, I am either the most hated woman in all of National City, or the second most-loved. But it doesn’t matter because I have ace reporter Kara Danvers as my friend. It feels…less lonely.”
Kara ducks her head, adjusting her glasses and smiling that smile that always makes Lena feel like she finally did something right for once in her life.
“I’m sure she has friends. Isn’t Superman her brother or uncle or something?”
“Cousin,” Lena says, then shakes her head. “If I know anything about the family dynamics of the powerful, they either love or hate each other’s guts.”
Kara doesn’t say anything for a second. “Do you wanna be her friend?”
There’s a tone there, a hint of something that Lena couldn’t catch but she shrugs it off, shaking her head as she stands and begins to clear their food from the table.
“Superman and Lex already tried that,” she says as she places the plates in one corner of her office, near the trash. “I’m just here to prove that a Luthor and a Super can coexist peacefully.”
“How’s that going?”
“You tell me. You know her better.”
Lena knows that face too. The one that’s quietly trying to measure her words. It isn’t often that Kara is careful with Lena, which is really refreshing and what makes Lena so fond of her. But Kara is also a reporter. A damn good one, too. And she has to protect her sources, Supergirl being one of them.
“You’re on her radar,” Kara offers, the words coming out slower than usual.
Lena nods. It’s all Kara can offer.
They’re quiet for a while, Lena’s attention momentarily diverted to a notification on her phone.
“Why do you say she looks lonely?” Kara asks.
Lena turns and Kara’s eyes are on her laptop now, fingers dancing on the keyboard, not really typing anything.
She’s waiting.
“Have I ever told you how many cameras are installed in and around L-Corp?”
Kara continues typing. “Not enough.”
“Never enough. But sometimes, some of them catch Supergirl flying around.” Lena slides her phone over to Kara. “And sometimes, they catch her sitting on top of the tallest building in National City.”
“It’s a beautiful shot.” Kara fiddles with Lena’s phone, zooming in on the picture on the screen. “You’re telling me your CCTVs are this high def?”
Lena laughs. “Yes, but I took that. Doubt she even knew I was there. And I didn’t want to intrude on her brooding but with the moonlight framing her I couldn’t resist taking a picture.”
“Can’t blame you. As I said, it’s a very beautiful shot.” Kara hesitates for a second. “Can I send her a copy?”
Lena nods as she reached for her phone back and forwarded the image to Kara.
“And anyway, to answer your question: I’ve been around powerful people all my life. Loneliness is almost always guaranteed---” and here Lena sighs, staring at Kara. “It’s a look. Something in the face or the eyes.”
Kara is looking at her now. “Are you lonely too?”
Lena chuckles. “When I told my friends I was moving here, I understood the risks and I prepared for them accordingly. I knew it was going to be hard and I knew my life was going to be in ten times more danger especially after I testified against Lex. I was right, of course. But I was also wrong.”
Kara frowns at her.
“It wasn’t the workload, the tabloids, or the weekly sessions with whatever assassin my mother has conjured against me that almost drove me away.” Lena clears her throat. “It was the fact that I was alone. My friends are in Metropolis and I’m surrounded by wolves and work acquaintances at best. I’m almost ashamed to admit it took less than a month for me to start thinking about going back.”
“What stopped you?”
“You.”
It’s almost mesmerizing the way Kara’s eyes grow so big as her face reddens.
“Stop. That’s…” She stammers as she tucks her hair behind her ear and resumes trying to pretend like she’s working. “…you’re lying.”
Lena isn’t but it’s more fun teasing Kara. Instead, she smiles.
“No, but really. Why did you stay?”
Lena takes a breath, taking a couple of seconds to look at Kara.
“Metropolis is, in a way, scorched earth to me,” Lena starts, her face turning to the glass windows leading to the balcony and out into the night sky. “I have no one there except a few friends that I want to keep from being dragged into my business as much as possible.” She takes a deep breath, her focus shifting back to Kara. “But above all, I have a goal here, a purpose, and a lot of good left to do. It’s a lonely job, sometimes, which is why I’m really glad I have you.”
Kara ducks her head, smiling. “Oh gosh, Lena. I—I’m glad we’re friends too.”
Lena purses her lips then, forcing a smile as she takes a sip of her whiskey.
“But I don’t know if I agree that Supergirl is lonely,” Kara continues, her smile slowly morphing into something less happy. The smile is still there but these things lie.
“Oh?”
“I—uhm… I mean I don’t know her that much either—”
“I doubt anybody does, really.” Lena cuts in. She takes another sip of her whiskey, frowning that it’s already too low, and reaches for the bottle for a refill. “Daughter of Krypton, hidden from the world for who knows how long and only surfacing years after Superman did.” Lena takes another sip, a kind of numbing calm washing over her.
“She must’ve lived with a human family here,” Kara says. “She wouldn’t have been able to hide away for so long otherwise.”
“I agree.”
“So that means someone does know her.”
Lena makes a sound, a kind of broken chuckle that comes out more like a snort.
“What?” Kara asks, her forehead wrinkling.
Lena shakes her head. “Just because you live with someone, just because they call you family and you live under the same roof, doesn’t mean they know you.” She takes one more sip, fully knowing that she’s skirting dangerously close to being drunk. “Don’t get me wrong, Kara. I acknowledge the privilege and the entitlement I enjoyed under the Luthor household. I wouldn’t be where I am now without the advantages they afforded me from the time they took me in.” One more sip…one more because she’s so close to opening sealed boxes and the proximity to them already hurts. “But I have also never felt more suffocated, more lost, more unseen, than when I was with them. So much so that even when I finally left that house, I tended to isolate myself, to blindly follow my egomaniacal brother because I didn’t know any better.”
One more sip because the boxes are starting to unravel and there’s a part of her that’s starting to scream, starting to raise warning flags… One more sip because it’s Kara. She can let herself be a bit vulnerable because Kara is her friend.
God, Lena hates that word right now.
“Tell me, Kara,” Lena continues. “Before I testified against my brother, before I took over the family business, before I became the last free Luthor, had you even heard of me?”
Kara makes another face. Lena knows all her faces by now. She’s memorized them. She didn’t mean to but it’s so easy to memorize everything about Kara. This one is Thinking Kara. Remembering Kara.
“I may have come across your name in passing—”
“—entirely overshadowed by my last name or my brother, right?” Lena asks as Kara starts to protest. “Please… it doesn’t bother me. Not anymore.” She leans back, tempted to take one more sip, but sealed boxes remain sealed for good reasons. She sighs.
“The way Supergirl moves and fights is vastly different from her cousin. Her strength is raw and untrained, for the most part which tells me she’s had to learn how to control her strength on her own. She smiles whenever she can move quickly, almost as if she’s impressed with herself, almost surprised every time, which means she’s never had to do it as much or at all before.”
Lena pauses, watching something behind Kara’s eyes darken.
“No one knows her. She’s had to grow up alone, had to be different, had to suppress the best parts of her in favor of blending in—”
“And you think you do?” Kara says, cutting her off. There’s an edge to her voice now, a certain defensiveness and hypervigilance that Lena only ever sees in Supergirl.
But this is Kara.
So Lena backs off. “No,” her voice low, gentle, soft. “Loneliness, at least to me, is deeply personal and painfully isolating. And like grief, it manifests and takes on different forms. It evolves or it festers… I guess all I meant to say is that I’m here… and while I may not be able to understand everything, I can try.”
She opens her phone again, sliding it over to Kara.
“It took me an embarrassingly long time to figure it out.” She admits. “And at first, I was mad. I felt betrayed. The one person in National City I thought I could trust was hiding a secret from me…”
Kara has removed her glasses now, eyes bright blue and dark at the same time. Lena can almost see all the walls starting to rise and fortify themselves behind those baby blues. It doesn’t really matter. Lena doesn’t plan to Kool-Aid Man it through those walls.
“I didn’t do it out of malice,” Kara’s voice is low too. “I was just trying to protect myself and everyone I loved from someone I didn’t know with a name someone like me shouldn’t trust.”
“I know.”
“But I had to find out. I had to see for myself what a Luthor was doing in National City, why a Luthor would even want to move where another Kryptonian is living.”
“Of course.”
Kara stands, her eyes still on the photo of her on Lena’s phone. Not the Supergirl framed in moonlight. No, this one was taken by the cameras inside Lena’s office. She was waiting for Lena who was five minutes away from dismissing the pointless meeting she was in.
But it was essentially the same as the moonlight photo, except Kara is bathed in afternoon sunlight with a thousand-yard stare. Out of context though, it could really just be a fractured moment that might look like the moonlight photo. Except, seconds before this photo was taken, Kara was on the phone with Alex, her voice cheerful, her smile tight but her eyes never changed.
It wasn’t until Jess came in to tell her that Lena will be with her in a couple more minutes that she had to school her face back to this practiced brightness and she once again wore the mask of Kara Danvers, ace reporter.
“When were you going to tell me that you knew?”
Lena smiles. “I had to take a step back. I was mad, you see? You knew how much I valued trust to the point where I essentially begged you not to break it. I felt betrayed. And for a while, I spent my days nursing a broken heart and my nights trying to convince myself that I didn’t want to be your friend anymore, that your friendship meant nothing and that it wasn’t too late to call it quits, collect my losses, and simply walk away.” She chuckles. “It also helped that I was incredibly busy at the time.”
“You’re busy all the time.”
Lena almost winces. “I am.”
“What changed your mind?”
Lena takes her phone back, staring at it with a fondness that Kara will never even know the depths of. Navigating a friendship with her is hard enough. No, Lena cannot risk pushing it and actually telling Kara how she felt.
“Understandable secrecy aside, you’re a good friend. And I guess in the end, I just didn’t want to be alone anymore.”
There’s a moment that Kara takes when Lena could almost hear the rapid fire of information being ingested and processed at the back of Kara’s mind. It’s five seconds that felt like an eternity and a half where Lena’s entire existence is put on pause.
It’s a little terrifying that Kara already has this much power over her. And to be honest, that war was lost so long ago, Lena doubts she even stood a chance.
“You’ll be in even more danger when they find out that Supergirl and Lena Luthor are friends,” Kara says slowly to which Lena laughs.
“One, I am not above lying to people when it’s necessary. I want to be friends with Kara Danvers—”
“Zor-El.”
“What?”
“Kara Zor-El. My name. If we’re going to be friends then at the very least you should know my real name.”
Lena smiles. “Right. I want to be friends with Kara Zor-El. And that means I have to protect her secret too. Lena Luthor doesn’t have to be Supergirl’s best friend.”
“And two?”
“Two, my brother and mother are not above hiring aliens on top of professional assassins to kill me. And not to demean you or anything, but I’ve been fending them off more than you know. I’m perfectly capable of defending myself, so you never need to worry about me.”
Kara shakes her head. “I will always worry for people I care about.”
Lena nods. “Me too.” She extends her hand. “Hello Kara Zor-El, my name is Lena Kieran Luthor and if you’ll have me, I’d like to be your friend.”
Kara smiles that sheepish smile before it brightens and takes Lena’s proffered hand. “I kind of already thought you were.” She pauses, their hands still clasped together. “For the record, since the first time I saw you, I really wanted to be your friend.”
For better or worse, their relationship would grow and evolve, going through so much in so little time. There’s a certain kind of stability in knowing that neither one of you needs to make excuses for secrets you were keeping.
From time to time, Lena would still see traces of the lonely, brooding Kara that she saw on her rooftop that one time. Except this time, Kara no longer needs to mask it with a smile. She can be moody and quiet with Lena.
Lena knows that eventually Kara will have to learn to slowly let her grief and her anger out. She understands the instinctive fear that Kara has about losing control. But, as she looks at their clasped hands, Lena thinks that as long as they’re holding on to each other, everything will be okay. As long as they can still call each other Friends…
Ah. That word. Lena really hates that word. But she smiles and immediately drowns the rest of the whiskey in her glass.