Chapter Text
>>Teenage Mutant Ninja Teetles <<
~MagicMike~:
it was only a little bit of fire I’m not sure why you’re freakin man
I mean
only a small flame!!
~~Electro~~:
as a fellow mikey I sympathise
Red:
Your all bad influences
Mikey it was a lot of fire??!!!
~MagicMike~:
hhhnnngg no
Bootyyyshaker9000:
[Photo ID: A flaming junkyard takes up most of the camera. In the background, you can see Leo taking a selfie and Mikey throwing more pieces of junk into the fire. Mikey is slightly blurred, his grin more feral in the fire light. Raph is no where in the shot]
I’m so proud
Red:
that was not that big when I was there
You told me you were putting it out???
HasTheBraincell:
I don’t know why you thought mikey would do what he is told, whatever universe
Though Leo joining in is rather unexpected.
AteTheBraincell:
thats barely a fire
Coward
Red:
Please for the love of all things do not encourage them
Bootyyyshaker9000:
[Photo ID: the same image as before, but Leo’s mask tails are on fire. Leo remains oblivious, posing at the camera.]
Do I tell him
WantsTheBraincell:
Yes????!!!!
~~Electro~~:
don’t
film it for me
please
Bootyyyshaker9000:
What can you offer me @~~Electro~~
I_Crave_Chemicals:
No don’t, this is a science experiment
CaptainLeo:
Save him???
Fuck:
has he burnt to death yet
~~Electro~~:
@Bootyyyshaker9000 idk discord nitro ig
Red:
DONNIE
WantsTheBraincell:
What is wrong with you people
Fuck:
*turtles
~~Electro~~:
*teetles
~MagicMike~:
*neetle teetles
WantsTheBraincell:
Kill me
HasTheBraincell:
As nominated braincell I’m going to ask you to maybe not let him burn to death @Bootyyyshaker9000
Because you know
It’s mean
Fuck:
Coward
I_Crave_Chemicals:
Raph I swear you’ve called someone a coward every minute so far
We’ve only had this gc for a few days
Red:
DONNIE
HasTheBraincell:
My bad, I will say again.
I just was tinkering with the portal gun those little guys gave us and bam
Just a science whoopsie
AteTheBraincell:
You say that as if it’s normal for a mistake to create a rip off discord for our counterparts
HasTheBraincell:
Don’t question science!
I_Crave_Chemicals:
Don’t question science!
Bootyyyshaker9000:
Don’t question science, you fool
AteTheBraincell:
Great what I always wanted
More nerds
I_Crave_Chemicals:
@AteTheBraincell says the turtle who says he ate a braincell
CaptainLeo:
Please tell me someone has put him out?
AteTheBraincell:
@I_Crave_Chemicals I did that to assert dominance
~~Electro~~:
did
did it work?
WantsTheBraincell:
We’ve only got one braincell to share in this family
Don’t make that none
Also is Blue okay???
AteTheBraincell:
FUCK YEA
Bootyyyshaker9000:
[Photo ID: The fire has grown, and Leo is seen squinting at his phone camera as the flames grow higher on his mask.]
[Photo ID: Exact same as before, only now Leo’s eyes are comically wide as he spots the flaming mask tails.]
[Photo ID: Blurred image of Leo spinning around, mid scream as he pulls off his mask. Mikey is screaming in the background.]
He found out, needless to say.
~~Electro~~:
@WantsTheBraincell you text like an old man lol
AYOO HE DIDN’T DIE
Fuck:
Booooooooo
CaptainLeo:
Why are you booing at my alternates lack of misery
Should I be concerned??
Fuck:
Boooooooooo
Red:
Donnie you have five seconds to fuckin run
~MagicMike~:
[Photo ID: Mikey with his arms slung around Leo. They are both smiling at the camera, both notably singed but otherwise fine. Leo no longer has his mask on, and the fire is still visible in the background.]
He made it!!
@Bootyyyshaker9000 oh fuck man you gotta start haulin ass
Red:
Don’t think I’m done with any of you
Raphs gonna ground you so long you’ll all be ancient by the time you can go out again
Bootyyyclapper9000:
excuze me
I was a victim
I almost died
HasTheBraincell:
I don’t think you would have died, dw!
Bootyyyclapper9000:
you’re not helpping
CaptainLeo:
Well grounding is never that effective for me and my brothers
We kinda just keep going out??
Fuck:
We drag u along
Don’t pretend to be cool
Like me
~~Electro~~:
*like us
WantsTheBraincell:
I mean
That’s pretty much the same
I try for like a few days but
There’s three brothers around you already plotting how to get out and that encourages me too much
HasTheBraincell:
That’s why you wish you had the one brain cell
~MagicMike~:
Old blue literally getting peer pressured into breaking rules
WantsTheBraincell:
Shut
~~Electro~~:
*whispers* he’s not very cool, is he?
AteTheBraincell:
get fucked @WantsTheBraincell
WantsTheBraincell:
I wish you were within close proximity so I could unleash the spray bottle on you all
HasTheBraincell:
You promised you got rid of it!!
Bootyclapper9000:
SPRAY BOTTLE??!!?!!!! LIKE A FUKIN CAT????!!
I_Crave_Chemicals:
Too bad, multiversal boundaries stop that
WantsTheBraincell:
[Photo ID: a spray bottle that looks at least a decade old, covered in glitter and crayon squiggles that look like the work of a younger child. In large, unsteady letters it reads ‘BAD BROTHER SPREY’ in blue marker. Again, the writing looks like a young child’s.]
@HasTheBraincell you thought wrong
It’s very much alive
Yes, it’s literally like dealing with a bunch of feral cats around here. Whenever one of them pisses me off I spray this at them until they stop
HasTheBraincell:
Animal cruelty
WantsTheBraincell:
Big brother privileges
Red:
Im taking notes
AteTheBraincell:
I ain’t no feral cat
WantsTheBraincell:
I disagree
Apart from Mikey you are most like a feral cat, sorry to break it to you
CaptainLeo:
Ugh I wish I had one of those!
~~Electro~~:
*sad turtle noises*
Bootyyyclapper9000:
DONT GIVE RED IDEAS @WantsTheBraincell
I_Crave_Chemicals:
I thought you all liked water?
At least you do, you’re a slider right?
Actually, I’m pretty sure @UNIVERSE_03 like water too? How is this effective?
Bootyyyclapper9000:
its the principal that countss
AteTheBraincell:
We ain’t fuckin cats
Don’t get me wrong I love water but
HasTheBraincell:
Again, animal cruelty
~MagicMikey~:
@WantsTheBraincell im reporting you to PETA
~~Electro~~:
youre fucked lol lol lol
HasTheBraincell:
As a younger sibling, I am not a fan of the older brother privilege
~~Electro~~:
^^
I_Crave_Chemicals:
^^
AteTheBraincell:
I agree
Bootyyyclapper9000:
^^
Donnie agrees too hes just hiding from red
~~MagicMikey~~:
**Amen**
Fuck:
^^
WantsTheBraincell:
This is bullying
CaptainLeo:
Raphael please don’t organise another mutiny swtg
~~Electro~~:
RISE RISE RISE
Bootyshaker9000:
I vote to overthrow all Leos.
Bootyyyclapper9000:
NOOOOO
twinnie
AteTheBraincell:
Twins???? You two???
Fuck:
Wtf
Are you not all the same age?
HasTheBraincell:
Me and Raphie are twins actually
Sometimes
I_Crave_Chemicals:
Excuse me what
Sometimes?
>>mute chat<<
CaptainLeo:
@everyone
Whoever’s Mikey has been screaming in the ASMR voice channel for three hours straight, could you get him out?
HasTheBraincell:
I’m so sorry that’s mine
I wondered why he was so quiet
~~Electro~~:
THREE HOURS SHDHSJJSK
I_Crave_Chemicals:
This is the third time in four days.
Please control your Mikey or I will have to use force
HasTheBraincell:
Don’t worry, I got back up.
>>ASMR Turtles!<<
[Audio Recording]
LostTheBraincell:
[Mikey is screaming into the microphone as loud as he physically can. His voice is ranging from high pitched squeals to low warbles, all grating noises that are distorted through the mic. Mikey pauses for a second, then speaks:
“Want me to get my cat on the mic?” He says and, without waiting for an answer, he starts screeching bad cat noises that almost drown out an angry shout in the distance.
Something bangs. Mikey screams.
“What the fuck are you doin’?!” A low voice growls.
“Hey Raphie! Just some classic ASMR! Do you wanna –“
There is a clang and a shout.
“Three fucking hours!”
“It’s funny –“
“Get over here!”
A loud crash, followed by several loud shrieks, is heard over the mic further away. Raph can be heard growling, and it sounds like multiple things are getting knocked down in the room. The fight steadily increases in volume and chaos until a sharp voice rings out.
“What happened here?! What did I say about fighting in rooms?!”
The voice is low and commanding. The crashes and bangs stop only for a moment before there is a loud thud – sounding suspiciously like Mikey had just been thrown against the wall.
Now the sounds of the fight have returned in twice the volume; Leo’s various cries of “STOP!” and “DON’T BITE HIM!” only adding to the fray.
Another particularly loud thud, and a grunt. Leo growls.
“Did you just hit me?”
“That was Raph!”
“That’s it –“ Leo hisses. Mikey screams close to the microphone as Leo seemingly joins in the fight. Distantly you can hear another, higher voice (presumably Donnie) pleading for them to stop “because you’re ruining the ASMR channel, you Neanderthals!”
“Hey Raph –“ A brash, thick voice sounds after a minute more of the crashing and yells. “I was wondering whether you wanted to beat up some – wait, are we fightin’?!”
“Casey, no!”
“GOONGALA!”
Audio suddenly cuts off after the sound of glass shattering.]
>>mute chat<<
Fuck:
Wtf was that
I_Crave_Chemicals:
My ears
Omg
CaptainLeo:
I think I just went through every ring of hell at once