Chapter Text
He was flying.
He is flying, and he isn't entirely sure where his destination is.
In fact, he's not really sure of anything at the moment. His relationships, his sense of identity, how he'd gotten here in the first place - it's all a blur. It's almost like he's in that state between sleep and consciousness.
All he can feel is the wind in his hair, the breeze guiding his wings... and the tears streaming down his face.
He sees the city below, but he's barely paying attention to anything around him.
The only thought in his mind is escape, fly away, unsafe as he soars over the familiar landscape that he's flown over hundreds of times. He's still far too panicked to make a rational decision, but he knows one thing - he has to get far away from that apartment building.
He didn't even know he'd landed until his silent cries had finally subsided.
Quackity lifts his head. A rooftop. The rooftop.
It looks a lot more desolate than it usually does without someone else there with him.
As he takes in his surroundings for the first time, Quackity is suddenly very aware of just how abruptly he'd left his home. It's the middle of the night; his clothes aren't exactly built for cold weather. His subtle shivering only serves to heighten his feeling of despair. He feels like screaming - shouting at the world for how unfair it was being to him right now, at everyone who's ever wronged him - but he'd already done far too much of that earlier, and his voice is hoarse.
He doesn't know what to do.
He can't go back home and confront them - he'd rather die, actually. He'd just escaped the hostile environment; he isn't ready to go back and grovel for forgiveness (they should be the ones apologising, after all).
But he can't stay here either. With no home to return to, he'll surely freeze and die of hypothermia before he can do something to improve his current situation.
His thoughts are interrupted when he hears someone approaching from the sky.
He knows who it is; he'd known someone was going to come from the moment that he'd subconsciously chosen their meeting place to stop at (maybe he'd been looking for someone that cared). Honestly, at this point, Quackity thinks he'd be able to tell when this person in particular appears nearby on his instincts alone - as terrifying as that thought is, it comforts him slightly. As the avian lands in front of him, Quackity can't even bring himself to look up at them. He doesn't want to show his obviously distraught expression or any signs that he'd been crying. He's not going to show weakness, especially not to him.
Of course, the newcomer notices anyway - he'd always been far too observant.
"What's wrong, darling?" A sweet, low voice startles him out of his brooding. After all the yelling earlier, it's a bit of a shock to hear someone speak to him so gently - Quackity barely even notices the pet name. Usually, he'd protest violently against the terms of endearment, but he just can't find it in him right now. He's far too tired for their usual banter; too tired for any form of fighting, verbal or physical.
His silence speaks volumes. The other person sits down in front of him, tilting his face up to meet theirs. He immediately looks away (doesn't want to face him, no, not him), internally melting at the physical contact. Just barely stopping himself from leaning into their touch, he closes his eyes as they wipe away his leftover tears.
He really wants someone to hold him right now, but he has at least enough cognisance to realise that asking for that would probably count as showing weakness.
"Look at me," the other softly commands. "Open your eyes for me, please?"
He shakes his head, stubbornly keeping his eyes shut. "I don't want to," he responds petulantly. Looking at them would mean accepting that he'd sought out his enemy to provide him with some form of affection after he'd been hurt. It would mean accepting that after everything his rival had put him through, he trusts him enough to go willingly into his arms when he's most vulnerable.
It would mean the villain had been right about him all along.
He knows all of that is true no matter what; it's just that if he doesn't look at them, he can pretend they're not there. That the hands cradling his face so gently belong to his fiancés someone else; that his nemesis doesn't actually care as much as he's told Quackity that he does, over and over again.
Quackity doesn't want to believe him.
He can feel them hesitate before speaking again. "Look at me," they repeat, an undercurrent of power running through the words.
His eyes open against his will, and his gaze reluctantly trails up to the person he's tearing himself up over.
Siren is staring at him with an incredibly hard-to-read expression on his face. The villain isn't wearing a mask, as per usual, so Quackity can see how conflicted he looks, but he isn't able to tell why. He's focused on Quackity so intently that he starts to feel uncomfortable, so he decides to direct his attention towards what Siren is wearing instead - his long, dark trenchcoat (of course, because he can't stand not looking as dramatic as possible for one second) over a soft black sleeveless top, with black leggings and combat boots to top it off. His gold wire-rimmed glasses are perched delicately on his nose, and his brown curls frame his face perfectly. He looks... pristine. Put-together. More beautiful than Quackity could ever dream of being, especially in his current emotional state.
Quackity starts to shake from the effort of keeping himself as still as possible. He's scared that if he lets his guard down, he'll start crying again. Siren's other hand travels to his back, where it starts to trace small circles soothingly. "It's okay, sweetheart, you can relax; I'm here for you."
Quackity hasn't heard that in a while.
He's here for me. For me.
And just like that, he breaks.
He leaps forward into his nemesis's arms, and Siren laughs in shock before he wraps his arms comfortingly around the shorter avian. "It's going to be alright, Quackity," he says, nestling his face in the hero's black hair. "Are you okay with telling me who hurt you like this?"
Quackity hears the threat laced into the words, but he honestly can't bring himself to care. He is so done with his fiancés. They'd formed a new hero group without telling him, and then Sapnap had come back to him after months of no contact. He'd followed him, entirely willing to try and mend their relationship - willing to ignore the months he'd spent feeling ostracised - only to find out that Karl had forgotten about him.
Neither of them had ever told him that Karl's powers had been causing him to have memory issues.
"Karl and Sapnap, we- we had an argument," Quackity says finally, his head tucked protectively into the villain's chest. He feels Siren's arms tighten, and the avian carefully wraps his brilliant red-orange wings around him. "I- you know how they started Kinoko without me?"
"How could I forget?" Siren responds, stroking his fingers through the duck hybrid's feathers. "That was the first time you let yourself be vulnerable with me." He frowns slightly. "I still haven't gotten them back for that, by the way."
Quackity makes a disbelieving sound at the words. "They didn't do anything to you; why do you care?"
"They hurt you, duckling. They hurt my nemesis." He shudders at the possessive tone that Siren uses when talking about him, but the villain just continues untangling the knots in his wings. It's oddly reassuring, and he relaxes back into Siren's hold. "They claimed to love you, and then they just abandoned you. Ignored you. Pushed you to the side as soon as it seemed like you were holding them back, not even realising that you were the one holding them together."
Quackity feels tears start to well up again, and he fights to keep them down. It's true, after all - he hadn't done anything wrong, but his fiancés had left him just the same.
He doesn't feel guilty accepting Siren's affection anymore; Karl and Sapnap had cast him aside, so why should he keep loving them?
"What happened this time, though?" Siren reminds him gently.
"They- Sapnap came back to our apartment, asking me to come with him and sign the paperwork to officially join Kinoko with him, Karl, and George." He hears Siren growl and continues, spurred by the villain's obvious disdain for his (ex?) lovers. "He acted as if nothing had gone wrong, like they didn't just ghost me for weeks. When I asked him why I'd never been informed about Kinoko before, and why George was the one to tell me about it, he insisted he had invited me, and that something must have gone wrong." He sighs. "So I decided to give him a chance."
"You're far too forgiving for your own good," Siren hums, a brief smile flickering across his face. "What did he do?"
"When I got to Kinoko's headquarters..." He pauses, reliving the memory for the first time since it had happened. Once again, he finds himself asking if he really trusts Siren enough to give his nemesis another traumatic event to use against him.
He realises that he does. He truly does.
"Karl was there, and, well- of course, I was happy to see him, right?" His voice shakes as he recounts the events that had happened earlier that night. "But he acted like he didn't know me at all. Like I was a stranger. And that's when I found out that Karl had been having problems with his memories."
A long silence, and then Siren speaks again: "...How long had this been going on without them telling you?"
"Months, apparently, even before they started their own agency." Quackity laughs bitterly. "I'd seen them whispering to each other, having private conversations when they thought I wasn't looking, talking about stuff behind my back. After they left me alone, I'd originally figured that they were discussing Kinoko, but now I realise that they were trying to fix his amnesia. And the entire time, they didn't think it necessary to fill in the third person in their relationship."
Siren is oddly quiet, so Quackity looks over at the phoenix and notices that his eyes are glowing red.
He remembers a time they'd done that before - he'd researched a bit more about phoenixes after that, and it's supposed to be a side effect of their hybridity. When they're allowing their instincts to disrupt their thoughts and take over, their eyes turn red, and when particularly emotional, they start to glow, apparently. He thinks it might have happened a separate time after that, but it's a bit of a blur - probably means it was the incident with the Blade, then, if his memories are this vague.
The thought that Siren is mad on his behalf is strangely comforting. He's dangerous when he's upset, sure; at the moment, Quackity really doesn't fucking care. He's in too much emotional shock to worry about his nemesis attacking him right now.
Honestly, he kinda wants to see exactly how far Siren would go for him, so he drops the bombshell. "He called me a murderer."
He's not faking the heartbreak in his voice.
The villain suddenly releases him from his grip, flinging himself away, and Quackity distantly notices that little sparks are coming off of the tips of Siren's feathers now. Wow. He must be really upset if he's losing control of his fire like this. "What?"
"He..." Hesitating, Quackity thinks about how to word this. He knows making Siren even angrier is definitely going to end poorly for his fiancés, but a small, traitorous part of him wants to see them pay for the way he'd been treated. "I don't know how exactly his memories have been affected, but I know it's because he's used his powers too much." His voice cracks. "I just don't understand why Sapnap wouldn't tell me that he didn't even remember who I was."
Quackity can tell Siren is trying to decide between hunting down his fiancés for how they hurt him and staying to provide him with some needed comfort.
"How dare they," his nemesis hisses furiously. "How dare they paint you as the antagonist after everything they've done to you."
"It wasn't Karl's fault," Quackity protests weakly. He can tell that the villain doesn't believe him - hell, he doesn't even believe himself. Karl had known his memory was faulty; he could've given him the benefit of the doubt, but he'd refused to even hear him out when he tried to explain the misunderstanding to him. Plus, he and Sapnap had kept this a secret from him for over a year. He wonders, a sick sort of despair seeping into his heart, if Karl forgetting about him and not Sapnap was a product of their lack of communication.
"It was," Siren insists hotly. "It's both of their faults for ignoring you for months, not telling you when they practically cut you out of their lives, and then crawling back once you've made a name for yourself as my nemesis. I don't give a fuck if he has amnesia, it doesn't excuse the other ways they've hurt you before." He embraces Quackity with his wings again, making sure that there aren't any lingering embers from his earlier burst of feeling. "They don't deserve you, Q. They don't get to call you their fiancé after all of this."
The villain's hold tightens. "They don't get to love you after what they put you through."
He knows he should probably be deterred by how possessive Siren's tone had gotten (is it bad to say he likes it?), but fuck, he'll be lying if he says it doesn't feel nice to be wanted.
And unlike his boyfriends, his nemesis had never abandoned him.
They were supposed to be rivals. Enemies. But sitting here in the phoenix's arms, he felt safe. Cared for.
...Loved.
The realisation puts him on the verge of tears. This time, he doesn't hold them back.
He cries into Siren's coat as the taller sorts through his messy feathers. He hasn't had his wings preened by someone else in... too long. He's forgotten how nice it feels. Preening by himself gets the job done, sure, but it's nowhere near as effective. Other people can get all the hard-to-reach spots on his back that he usually just ignores.
He doesn't know when he started feeling closer to the villain than he did to his partners, but this feels right in a way that he hasn't felt with Karl and Sapnap in an incredibly long time. It might be wrong, especially since they'd never actually broken up, but he doesn't care. They'd forfeited any right to his heart when they'd left him in the dust.
Sapnap had chosen to side with Karl over him, after all.
"What's on your mind, sweetheart?" Siren asks softly. "You've been silent for a while."
"I just-" His breath hitches, and he hiccups slightly, his tears subsiding. "I'm feeling a lot right now."
"You can talk to me about it," Siren responds. "Let go of everything you've been keeping inside for far too long."
Quackity pauses, considering. On the one hand, he's let down his guard in front of Siren more than enough tonight; but on the other, if the villain had wanted to hurt him, he'd had many, many chances. He sighs, eventually accepting the offer. "I feel so small in comparison to them sometimes," he says slowly. "They're the golden heroes, with powerful abilities that make them better fighters than I'll ever be-"
"Don't discredit yourself; you're unmatchable in aerial combat." Siren grins. "Except for me, of course."
He scoffs, punching the phoenix's arm playfully. "Shut up, I'm venting here. As I was saying - they're at the top of the rankings. No one says it to my face, but I hear people whisper behind my back, online, on TV, that I'm not as good as them; not an amazing hero like them. Even George gets more attention than me - his power makes him indispensable as a method of discovering information, and he's fairly popular among the other heroes. I just feel outshone by them. I get compared to them constantly, I'm always 'Quackity of El Rapids' to everyone, and no one sees me for me. I'm just like their sidekick to the public."
He feels like a weight is released from his chest as he admits the resentment he feels towards the other three for constantly getting all the attention. "I'm never talked about unless it's alongside the others. A bunch of people didn't even remember me until my whole rivalry with you started."
He hesitates. "Is this unfair? Am I being petty or ungrateful by saying this? I'm happy for their success, I promise-"
"You're not being unfair," Siren reassures him. "Okay, I'll admit, you can be quite petty at times-" Quackity glares at him, only receiving a smile in return. "What? It's true - you're petty, and I love it. But you're completely justified in feeling left out and misjudged." His smile fades. "It was the same way with me and Techno, you know. Always looked over in favour of the 'better' twin. It's one of the main reasons I resorted to villainy."
Right. Quackity sometimes forgets exactly how similar the two of them are.
"It's hard, isn't it? Being forgotten?" He nods in response, finally letting his true emotions out. He's been keeping all of this to himself for ages. "It's terrible when your name is only mentioned when it's attached to others, whether your fiancés, El Rapids, or even me," Siren sympathises. "Trust me, I know better than anyone else how it feels."
"I'm surprised you're not using this as another opportunity to try to convince me to join you," Quackity laughs humourlessly. "Normally, you'd be all over me with 'if you became a villain, though, you'll never be forgotten again!' or something."
"Quackity, I'm not so insensitive that I'd use your worst moments to incentivise you to accept my offer," the other responds, seeming offended. "Look, you're clearly in a bad state of mind right now, and I'm not going to try to take advantage of that. I'm a villain, darling, not a heartless bastard."
"News to me," he mutters, and Siren pokes him, feigning annoyance. "You're still being.... oddly considerate, though." He looks up at the avian's face. "You've always been weirdly kind to me. I'm your nemesis; you have no obligation to care this much."
"But I do," the phoenix hybrid answers. "As you said, you're my nemesis. I chose you because I saw determination that none of the other heroes have. A thirst to prove yourself. All I did was give you that opportunity. And, well..." He sighs. "Honestly, I care about you so much that it even surprises me sometimes."
Quackity is not blushing and you cannot convince him otherwise. "Is that why you let me leave when I was injured?"
"Q, I don't want to force you to join me," Siren says, as if it's obvious. "I could easily just use my power to ensure you stay by my side, but I'd rather gain your trust without the trickery." A pause. "I'm not going to lie and say I haven't thought about it," he admits. "Still, the only reason I kept you at the base was because I wanted to be sure you got the healing you needed. Also, you'd have hated me if I kept you there."
Would he have?
Thinking back on the incident, he remembers... fear. Panic from moulting in front of someone who could hurt him so, so easily.
But he hadn't.
Siren hasn't hurt him.
"Maybe not," he says under his breath.
"What was that?"
The villain had had complete control over him. He was injured, unable to escape, at Siren's mercy - but the phoenix had been so kind, always respecting his space and not making him do anything he didn't want to.
He'd felt safer, happier, more comfortable with his nemesis than he had in his own home with his fiancés for weeks. Months. Nearly a year.
What if he'd stayed with Siren? Would none of this have happened? Would he be spared this heartbreak, this overwhelming feeling of loss?
"Sometimes, I wish you'd just made me stay instead of giving me the freedom to leave," Quackity says eventually.
Siren freezes, clearly reeling under the implications of his words, before tugging him closer.
"You can't just say things like that to me, love," he breathes, burying his face in Quackity's hair again. "You have no idea how much I want to keep you here and never let you go."
"Then do it," Quackity says, suddenly passionate. "Gods know I'm done with heroism. I'm so sick of being hurt over and over again. I want to make them pay."
Siren's face goes through several different expressions in a second - disbelief, excitement, pity. "Darling, you don't know what you're asking."
"I'm pretty sure I do," he argues. He pauses. "Is it wrong that I want to hurt them? Karl and Sapnap? They're... they're more than just my fiancés... they're my family, even though they left me."
"Any anger you have at them is completely fair," Siren assures him. "Still, don't say something you'll regret - I know you'll have doubts tomorrow if you jump straight into my world now. Once you've made the decision, you can't take it back."
Siren seems weirdly reluctant for someone who's been waiting for this for months. A thought strikes him suddenly. "You won't make me go back to them, right?" Quackity asks uncertainly.
"What? No, of course not - I'd never do that to you, Quackity," Siren says quickly, a horrified expression on his face. "You'll never have to confront them again if you don't want to." He hesitates for a second, seemingly thinking about his next words carefully. "Do you want to come with me? You don't have to decide now whether you want to become a villain, but you can just- I don't know, relax a bit away from all the stress you're going through."
"Please," he answers. "I never want to step foot in the fucking hero agencies again."
The phoenix hums. "Okay, then." He stands, offering Quackity a hand and pulling him up when he accepts. He starts to make his way over to the stairs leading off of the rooftop, but Quackity lingers for a second.
Siren notices his hesitation. "What's wrong, duckling?" he asks softly, still holding on to the shorter's hand.
"I..." He struggles, trying to think of the words, before settling on, "I feel so... lost. Karl and Sapnap are- were my life. My family. My flock. I can't- am I really just leaving them behind?"
The phoenix looks down at him, sadness overtaking the brunet's expression. "It's hard, I know. I struggled a lot when I became a fallen hero; I couldn't shake the feeling that I was betraying my flock, since I only rescued Tommy after I'd completely made up my mind to become a villain. I grew up with them, too; I've known Phil and Techno since I was born. I knew that no matter how much I'd been hurt by them, they still cared about me. Those first few weeks were especially rough - it was just me, entirely alone, arguing with myself about whether I'd made the right decision. I eventually realised that staying with them was only holding me back, though." He reaches out for Quackity's other hand, and he lets Siren take it without protest. "The difference between you and I is that this time, you'll have someone alongside you every step of the way."
Siren brings one of his hands up to Quackity's face gently. "I'll support you through this, no matter what choice you make. Even if you decide you don't want to become a villain. I'll be here for you, like how I wished someone was there for me."
Quackity's suddenly aware of just how close they are - his face is inches away from the former hero's, and he can feel the other's breath against the cold night air. He thinks that Siren really means it. He won't be going through this alone.
It lights up something deep in his chest - a feeling that's been dormant for a long time.
Ever since Sapnap and Karl had grown distant.
He instinctively tilts his face upwards, meeting Siren's eyes. "You promise?"
There's another question underneath the words, and he hopes Siren is getting the message. Please.
The villain's gaze flickers down towards his lips, and Quackity feels like he might burst with anticipation. Please.
"I promise," Siren breathes, before he leans down and their lips meet.
The warmth in his heart explodes, and Quackity closes his eyes. He thinks that if he doesn't, he might just explode, too.
It's a lot sweeter than he'd thought their first kiss would be (not that he's thought about them kissing before, of course). He hears the other let out a purr that sets his instincts off, and his wings flutter slightly as he leans in, trying to get closer.
He's feeling so much - joy, want, serenity - but most of all, he feels love.
The kind of love that turns his world upside down.
The kind of love he's only felt with two other people.
The kind of love he thought he'd never feel again.
And it's with his nemesis.
He feels like he's floating. They're so close to each other, and the feeling of their lips touching is overwhelming. The amount of love he feels is overwhelming.
He finally lets himself move on from his fiancés, and it's like he's whole again.
Eventually, they break apart, and Quackity backs away slightly as Siren smiles softly down at him. "That was nice."
"Yeah, I guess it was okay," he says in response, not willing to admit how much he liked it.
"Your entire face is flushed red," the other points out, and Quackity smacks him with his wing.
"Oh, fuck off - you're the one who just made a move on me right after I just had a traumatic experience with my past lovers. I'm sure that won't have any lasting consequences," he deadpans, skillfully ignoring how hard he's blushing.
"You're fine," his nemesis teases, grinning like the absolute bitch he is. "You know you love me too."
"Okay, Siren," Quackity mutters.
He realises that's the first time he's said the villain's name out loud all night. The first time he's truly... acknowledged him, in a way. As if he's just now accepting that he's left his fiancés for him - the person he keeps getting pulled towards, no matter how hard he tries to resist.
The attraction is dangerous, but he can't say that he cares anymore.
The phoenix avian pauses, and Quackity looks up at him questioningly. It looks like he's thinking about something.
"Wilbur. You can... call me Wilbur."
Quackity startles. "I- Really?" He's not sure why he's so surprised. It's not like he didn't know his name before. He guesses it'd just felt.... private. Like its use was restricted to those closest to him.
He's only ever heard the Blade, his twin, use his real name. He's not stupid enough to mention this to Siren, of course; especially not after the incident.
"Yeah," Siren- Wilbur responds. "I mean, I call you Quackity, after all."
"Okay, but you also call me a variety of other things, so I don't think that comparison is quite fair," he scoffs.
"You didn't seem to mind the pet names today, though, darling," the villain responds, grinning.
He flushes. "I plead the fifth, I was emotionally distraught- I had more important things on my mind."
"You like it, don't you?" his nemesis hums.
"What- I-" he sputters. "No, I don't like it, you delusional bitch!"
"Whatever you say, love," the asshole says. He scowls back, determined to not let anything on his face prove him right. Okay, he might like it a little, but he'd rather die than admit that to his nemesis.
"Just take me to your fucking home or whatever before I change my mind," he replies, knowing he'll be doing no such thing. Right then and there, he decides, he's never going back.
Being a hero has never felt fulfilling. Karl and Sapnap left him to rot.
Siren's the only one who seems to love him for him.
He wants to spend the rest of his life by his nemesis's side.
He thinks he's felt like this for a while. He'd just been in denial - hoping his fiancés would come back, hoping that they could still fix their broken relationship.
Unlike Siren, they weren't there for him when he needed them most.
Siren (Wilbur, he corrects mentally again - gods, it's going to take him a while to get used to that) smiles, as if he could hear Quackity's thoughts.
"We're going to make the world burn."
Oddly enough, he finds that he's okay with that.