Chapter Text
“Congratulations. Your application for a voyage pass has been approved. You’re assured one Class E seat on the next voyage in six months,” the officer said.
The words made Ken’s ears ring. He barely registered Josh grabbing his hand and holding it tight. Ken mostly had to remember to breathe.
The officer continued.
“You’re required a personal appearance at the Colony Central Office at the Old Malacañang complex this week. They will give you an orientation and answer all your questions there,” he said as if reading from a script. “Please also be reminded to settle all payables and relinquish this property to the nearest office before your voyage. The voyage is excited to see you onboard. We wish you a safe journey.”
Josh was quiet for a second. “Thank you… officer.”
The guard nodded, so did his companion.
After giving a final salute, they turned on their heels and walked away.
What happened, exactly? Ken wasn’t sure, either. He and Josh were kissing just seconds ago. It was a nice, warm kind of kiss. Now, the air was heavy and Josh looked sullen. There was an odd sting that stabbed at Ken’s chest, growing more intense by the minute.
Ken read the letter over Josh’s shoulder, thinking about what it implied.
“You…” he managed to say, “were waiting to get on a voyage?”
Josh jumped as if something electrocuted him. “Huh? Oh. What? Yeah.”
“How-how long was the process?”
“Y-years.” Somehow, Josh was stammering, too. “I didn’t—I wasn’t even expecting an approval. I thought…”
“You… wanna go there?”
“My, uh… My mom and sister have been there. Since the last voyage,” Josh answered, not looking at him. “Back then, I only had enough to barter for two passes, so… Sorry, I…” There was a long pause. “I’m kinda still shocked.”
“Yeah, you look like a surprised bunny.”
Josh chuckled dryly. “Shock’s gone. I’m mostly just annoyed now.”
Ken grinned at him. And though he didn’t really mean it, he said, “Congratulations. You must be excited to see your family.”
“I…” Josh gave the envelope a longing look. “Yeah, I… I really do.”
“I’m happy for you.”
“Thank you.”
Another tentative silence hung between them. Ken wasn’t very sure how to end it.
In his internal panic, Ken gave Josh a hearty pat on the shoulder and said, “Well, I… Guess you’ve got lots to prepare, huh? Lots of packing? I should go.”
“Oh.” A look of disappointment. “Yeah. Yeah, I do. Thanks, Ken. I, uh… I owe you.”
“I’ll hold you to that.”
As the warm atmosphere from a minute ago dissipated, Ken couldn’t find the balls to touch Josh anymore. Josh didn’t seem intent on initiating, either. Just like how the officers from before did, he just turned on his heels and jumped into the convertible’s driver seat.
He didn’t say another word. He just drove and drove, watching Josh from the cracked rearview mirror.
After that weird encounter, Josh thought at the back of his mind that Ken would stop coming around. He didn’t know why. Ken didn’t have much of a reaction, which in itself was suspicious given how they got handsy and kissy just the night prior. Josh dreaded the idea for days. But after resigning to the loss of his fling, he decided he would move on. He would be leaving Homeland in six months anyway.
So Josh wasn’t sure how to react when Ken showed up one afternoon about a month later in an ancient SUV with a flat tire, a horrible growl, and a crushed roof.
“The hell are you doing here?” Josh asked. He dropped the empty bucket he had been carrying to gape at the horrendous abomination. “What is that thing?”
“It’s my ride!” Ken greeted with sunburnt cheeks and an apologetic smile. Still handsome. Still cocky. “I need your help.”
“Yeah, you sure do,” Josh scoffed.
“That bad, huh?”
“Where do I even start?” Ken pulled up and the car made the most spine-shivering screech Josh has heard. It was like scraping silverware on porcelain. He cringed. “That noise is the least of your problems!”
Ken shrugged. “I had lots to bring. And this was the biggest one I could find that still even had gas.”
“Gods, everything is rusted! Just looking at it gives me tetanus! You want me to fix this?”
“I mean… I’m not in a rush.” Ken grinned, smiling the smile Josh had missed in a while. “How long will this one take to be fixed?”
“Do I look like a miracle worker to you?”
“Come on. I even brought all the parts I could find.”
Josh sighed and gave the car a once-over. He shook his head. “I dunno—A… day? More or less.”
Ken’s face shone even brighter. “Guess I’ll have to stay over, huh?”
“You can’t be serious.”
“Dead serious. I also brought sustenance.”
Josh had no response to that.
Josh had no response to anything, not even to the question of how he was feeling seeing Ken again. He had thought about what he would do if he ever saw Ken again or if he never saw Ken again. Now, he is seeing Ken again and it was as if he never left in the first place. What exactly was there to think or even say about that?
The only thought Josh had was, “I didn’t think you’d come by again.”
He said it out loud, on purpose, looking straight into Ken’s eyes.
Ken seemed a little apologetic in response.
“I’m here now, though,” he replied. “And I’m not in a hurry to leave, so… take your time fixing it.”
Now that made Josh feel things and think things.
He expressed none of them.
“If it ever gets fixed,” he retorted and started walking away.
They chuckled and that was that.
Josh shook his head and rolled up his sleeves. He took out the wrench and pliers from the toolbox he had nearby. Ken got busy unloading boxes and some crates from the back of the car in the meantime. Gods know where he put them. But when he was done, he sat on a pile of discarded parts and settled for watching Josh work.
It was a weird experience, knowing Ken watched his every move. And it seemed that he meant what he said. He sat there and stared; Ken really didn’t seem too eager to leave.
That sounded like a promise, so Josh decided he’ll help Ken him keep it. He dove into the hood and worked on the goddamned rust bucket, taking his sweet, sweet time.
Watching Josh work was an experience Ken didn’t think would be enjoyable. He neither had the patience for some humdrum activity nor the interest in sitting and watching anyone to pass his idle time. Yet, as he watched Josh tear apart the car he brought, Ken lost track of the hours and before he realized, it was already nighttime.
Many things dawned on Ken in the time he didn’t see Josh. Halfway through his journey home a month ago, he realized he really didn’t want to leave Josh. He wanted to stay as long as he was allowed. He wanted to ask questions. And if he could be a little bit selfish, he didn’t want Josh to leave Homeland, either. By the time Ken explained to his family that most of their supplies went to prowlers, he had hatched a plan: he was going to find the most dilapidated cars and take them to Josh. That should give Ken more opportunities to have a conversation with him.
What a good idea it was.
Rather than talking, though, the only thing Ken could get in was a weak mewl as Josh pinned him to the wall as they entered his home.
“Mmh, Josh…!”
But who was complaining? Ken grabbed Josh by the waist and pulled him flush against his crotch. He had been thinking about this for the past month, more often that he would dare confess.
The last time that they kissed was a cliffhanger. It ended way too early and was hardly enough. If that guard didn’t arrive, Ken would have made up his mind on whether Josh tasted more like green tea or citrus fruits. The sudden interruption left Ken a little hanging, not to mention a little frustrated.
At least, he wasn’t the only one looking forward to a reunion. Josh was in as much of a hurry as he was. They were still making each other dizzy with kisses when Josh parted Ken’s legs and slid a thigh between them, rubbing with abandon. Ken replied by blessing Josh’s ears with his most sensual moans.
“Mmh, I really like that—” Josh commented in between nibbles of Ken’s neck. “You can be louder.”
Ken chuckled. “‘M not usually this loud.”
Josh rubbed him again and he gasped. “Guess I’m an exception?”
Ken’s rope-belt was undone in one second, then his fly was unzipped in the next. Josh got down to his knees, eyes locked on Ken, as he slowly pumped his cock to full hardness.
Josh grinned. “You know, I’ve been wanting to use my mouth on you.”
“Fuck…!”
Josh took the tip of Ken’s cock between his lips and made a show of taking it in deeper. He kissed the head, licked the slit, before sucking it halfway into his mouth and hollowing his cheeks. All the while, his hand was busy pumping the rest of the cock that wasn’t in his mouth.
Ken’s eyes fluttered shut from the electric sensation. He’s been on the receiving end of a blowjob a few times, but none of them were like this—really slick, wet, warm, and tight. Josh worked his mouth like he was in a hurry to make Ken cum. When he started bobbing his head, he grabbed the globes of Ken’s ass to take Ken’s cock deeper. He groaned as if saying, “Cum for me.”
How Ken wished he could. But he didn’t want to cum too soon. He grabbed Josh by the hair and forced him to slow down if only to savor that look. Josh was dribbling all over Ken’s dick as he slowed down. His lips were red and raw from the mouth-fucking. Ken cursed the lack of a brighter light. He would have wanted to see this all better.
Josh humored his request for a while. He took it down a notch and settled for rubbing Ken’s length with the flat of his tongue. But it was clear to both of them that their patience was fake and it was running out fast. They were back to fucking and getting mouth-fucked seconds later. By now, Ken swung his hips to hit deep into Josh’s throat and Josh was pulling him even closer, deeper, faster. Josh welcomed him all the way and when Ken finally came, it went straight to the back of his throat.
Seemed like Josh was a pro at this. He didn’t gag for a second.
“A little sweet over here, aren’t we?” Josh teased, wiping the drool and cum on his lips. He gave Ken’s limp dick one last kiss. “Been good and eating lots of fruits?”
Ken just chuckled.
“Well…” He raked his fingers on Josh’s hair and smiled. “Not that we’ve got much to choose from.”
“Hey, fruits are a luxury!”
“Not so much where I’m from,” he boasted. “We’ve got lots of varieties.”
Josh grabbed Ken’s hips and hoisted himself up, hanging around Ken’s neck to kiss him again. He’s right. It does taste a little sweet.
What was he thinking of again? Ken was thinking about something earlier, but he forgot. He settled for thinking about it later. Now, he wanted to be in the present—that is, getting pulled by Josh to the narrow, rickety bed and ridding himself of his shirt.
“We’ll probably be doing this a lot until you fix my ride, huh?”
Josh looked up from taking off his pants. Heh. What a cute butt.
“What do you mean?” he asked. “You’re ride’s fixed.”
Ken peeled off from kissing Josh’s chiseled abs. “Mm—wha—?!”
“Car’s good to go. You can get going now if you want,” Josh chuckled.
Ken blinked at him in response.
He parted Josh’s legs and positioned himself between them. “Not anytime soon, no.”
Ken was fucking Josh at a really good pace, grinding against his prostate in a way that made Josh’s eyes flutter.
“Oooh, yesssssss…!” he cried. Josh’s toes curled and his legs pulled Ken closer upon reflex.
Ken moved faster—surer—in reflex. He planted his entire weight on Josh and rammed into him, knowing by now where to fuck Josh and how.
“Comingcoming…!”
The closer he got, the faster Ken fucked him and it was from this pace that Josh’s mindblowing orgasm finally coursed through him. If lightning struck him from the inside, that was probably what it would have felt like. Hot bolts of pleasure started from his gut and washed all over him in wave after wave as Ken kept hitting his pleasure spot through his climax.
Ken dug his nails into Josh’s shoulder and grunted. Something warm pooled inside Josh’s belly and he knew Ken was done, too. He rode out his orgasm inside Josh before finally collapsing on top of him.
Panting, sweaty, and stinking of sex, they took the next few seconds to hold each other close. Eventually, Ken groped around the bed for the wet rag they had earlier and wiped both of their stomachs off of Josh’s watery cum. That chore took two seconds. Ken was back to cuddling Josh without even pulling out.
Two things crossed Josh’s mind as they caught their breaths. One, his days have become more and more tiring as Ken brought him cars in worse and worse states. Two, whenever Ken brings him anything, he also has that ‘come hither’ look on his face. That meant sex—always.
Not that Josh was complaining. Nothing was better than fucking and cleaning up after working all day, except maybe cleaning up and then fucking after working all day. Ken is such a good fuck and their bodies were unbelievably compatible. Josh hasn’t had this much intimacy in… ever, really. To think that this had been going on for months now. It was long enough for Josh to get used to it.
He snaked his lazy arm around Ken’s torso and pulled him close to kiss his forehead. Ken was still stinky from working all day but Josh really didn’t mind. Ken nuzzled Josh’s collarbone and Josh buried his face in Ken’s hair. It smelled like sweat and a forest. That must be where Ken just came from.
“What’s your hometown like?” Josh asked when Ken’s kisses trailed up to the crook of his neck.
Ken giggled. “Lakewood? It’s a lake. With lots of woods.”
“Like a forest?” Josh peeled off him a little to look at his face, genuinely curious. “Lots of trees?”
“Not as much as it used to, I heard. And the lake isn’t as big as it used to be years and years ago…” Ken replied. “But yeah, there are a lot of trees. And the lake is pretty despite everything.”
“Guess you grew up around nature.”
“And people. Our community is very protective of each other.”
“No prowlers?”
“Few prowlers. That’s why there’s strength in numbers, as they say.”
“Hm…”
Josh busied himself with a mole on Ken’s cheek now. He traced a line from that one to another on the other side. Ken smiled.
“It’s a lot of things you probably won’t see when you go to Mars.”
That made Josh smile, too. His voyage was in about a month from now and the creeping feeling of leaving made him feel anxious.
Good thing he rarely has time to brood whenever Ken was busy fucking his brains out.
“Yeah,” he replied. “I heard it was all red sand and red rock on Mars. They’ve had progress planting vegetation, but the trees there are supposed to suck.”
“Nothing beats our blue planet, I guess.”
“Yeah, I suppose so.”
“How are your mom and sister?”
Josh sighed and moved to lay on his back. Ken slipped out of him in the process and he wouldn’t say it, but he did feel quite empty.
“Both fine, as per their letters,” he answered. “My sister is working as a beautician up there, because apparently you need beauticans in Mars.” Ken laughed. “Mom is… busy with a new boyfriend. Don’t wanna hear details about that.”
“Your mom sounds like a riot.”
“Oh, you have no idea,” Josh sighed. “She was the one who decided we go to the Colony, you know? Just one day told us that the Colony would give us a fresh start. Whatever that means.”
“So she’s… impulsive?”
“Spontaneous,” Josh corrected. “She’s so optimistic that I… no matter how hard it got, I could keep working and bartering and surviving in this hellish Homeland.”
“I can’t imagine how much you want to see her again.”
Josh hummed. But he didn’t look at Ken for fear that his eyes would speak more meaning than his voice.
“I’m actually surprised you’re not getting busy with the packing yet,” Ken commented. “Your house is… pretty much the same.”
“Well, I’ve been busy processing the documents for surrendering this area to the government. You would think that after abandoning us they’d be more lax about deeds and such, but no. They didn’t even leave a very good process behind.”
“That’s why we don’t deal with the government.”
“Good for you.” Josh sighed again. “And anyway, there isn’t much to pack. I can’t imagine anything from here that’s worth bringing to the Colony. Good riddance to this place.”
“So would you mind if I sent you something to remember me by?” Ken scooted closer and Josh turned to him.
The candlelight did no justice to the sparkle in Ken’s eyes. His eyes are brown and they had a twinkle to them that only sunlight could bring out. As he looked at Josh with an intense look in his eyes, Josh wished he could stare at those orbs in bright sun one more day.
One more day, that was what Josh was holding onto. One more day waiting for Ken. One more day talking to him. One more day holding him and being held by him. One day, their time might run out and Josh wouldn’t have all this to look forward to anymore. The thought frightened him more than the idea of seeing his family again excited him.
Josh didn’t want to admit it, and he didn’t want to be so sentimental. But it was getting harder and harder not to catch feelings for the man who made Homeland less of a hellhole.
But Josh found it difficult to verbalize his feelings. So instead, he gave Ken his best attempt at a smirk and said, “Don’t be in such a hurry to send me away now.”
The usual brightness dimmed from Ken’s eyes a little. He leaned over to Josh to give him a small kiss.
“Not at all,” he replied. “Take your time.”
“Gods, you are so fuckable.”
That made Ken laugh. “Go on, then.”
Josh grinned and got on top of Ken this time, hands going south to check on the state of Ken’s hole.
Still loose from two rounds ago. Great.
Gods, I like you so much, Josh thought as he pressed a needy kiss against Ken’s lips.
They were running out of time, so Josh decided to make the most of it. He’ll have to fix Ken’s car a little slower, if only to buy them a few days more.
Months into their game, Ken came to the realization that Josh was way too good at what he does. Ken has probably brought over fifteen cars in the span of five months. Josh managed to fix all of them quicker than Ken would have liked. Well, “fix” being a relative term. The cars wore down eventually. They were all probably old.
But what made it worse was that it got harder and harder to find usable cars. Dead cars, sure. Chunks of metal, easy. But to find a car that wasn’t past the point of no return and still manage to get Ken from point A to B was becoming too tricky. And he didn’t want to use cars that were too easy to fix, either.
Should he just tell Josh that he just wanted to spend time with him? Ken had considered the thought before. But saying, “I love you,” seemed like the best way to scare Josh away.
A chicken darted across the road and Ken jumped on his seat. He only managed to swerve to the right to keep from hitting the feathered fiend that was now out of sight. He pulled on Kuro’s handlebar and stepped on the brakes, trying to keep his balance. He probably yanked it too hard because the next second, Ken was skidding down the road with his side to the asphalt.
Kuro ground against the road with a high-pitched screech. Ken flexed his shoulder, trying to gain more resistance and stop. Good thing his motorcycle wasn’t too heavy. Otherwise, Kuro would’ve crushed him before he could even enter Manila’s city limits.
Five meters and a torn sleeve later, Ken eventually stopped skidding. His ears rang and his side stung. He didn’t get up right away. He stared blankly at the road that stretched before him and thought how he could have been gravely injured while thinking of Josh.
Man, he must be head over heels over the guy if he failed to see a fucking chicken. Lately, Josh was the one he thought about the most that his head had been all over the place. So much so that his reflexes have gone to shit, apparently. Ken thought it would be funny if he showed up at Josh’s with an injury and Kuro in a bad need for repairs. He wondered how Josh would react or if Josh would be worried at all.
Yeah, that would probably be so entertaining.
Just imagining it made the cogs inside Ken’s head turn.
That was an idea he should get a prize for.
Ken looked at the state Kuro was in. It seemed scratched—but not scratched enough. Ken was in a similar state.
Where Ken found the energy to get up and drag Kuro awas a mystery. He had not even registered any of his injuries as the excitement began pumping inside him, filling him with a new sense of purpose.
He kicked Kuro to life again—his trusted bike sure hasn’t failed him yet—and Ken felt the traces of a smile form on his face.
This is a bad idea, he thought. I could get myself killed.
Ken never liked to listen to the voice of reason.
He revved the engine again, making Kuro roar loudly like the proud machine it was. Then he kicked forward, looking for the sturdiest wall he could find.
“Holy shit!”
Josh all but flipped his cart over as he pushed it aside, dropping whatever he was holding onto to run to the approaching figure. He had never felt more scared in his life. Not even when he was left alone on the day his family left for the Colony.
Seeing Ken looking battered and bruised as he pushed a sad-looking motorcycle forward, though… Josh felt like his soul jumped out from his body.
Josh stopped just an arm’s length away from Ken, holding his hands up in case he touched anything that was broken.
“What the fuck—what the hell happened to you?!”
Ken was bleeding from a cut on his forehead. His right sleeve was torn and his shoulder looked bruised. He was limping, too. That didn’t even talk about the numerous tiny cuts that were all over his body.
And yet, this man managed an annoying wide smile.
Josh could choke him to death.
“It’s not funny. What happened?”
“I, uh… Didn’t see a chicken run across me. I tried to avoid it but I drove into a wall instead.”
Josh’s stomach plummeted to the ground. “And you didn’t think that maybe running the chicken over was a much better idea?!”
“It could’ve belonged to someone!”
“Ken, Homeland has survived without meat for centuries! Nobody’s gonna miss one fucking chicken!”
“Ow!”
Ken winced and it stopped Josh in his tirade. Josh quickly came to his aid, putting one gentle arm across him to support Ken and Kuro.
Josh was so frantic, he was shaking.
“Fuck! Sorry! Are you sure everything’s okay?”
Ken cleared his throat. “Can you… fix Kuro?”
“Oh, gods!” Josh almost threw his hands up. “You are… injured on almost every inch of your body I can see… And you’re worrying about your bike?!”
“Hey! Kuro’s precious to me!”
“Well, you should probably give yourself some importance, too!” Josh hissed, anger making his tone rise. He looked at Ken with every pulse in his body throbbing, torn between wanting to throttle him or hug him to death. “Fuck… you’re infuriating.”
But Ken chuckled as if he had just witnessed something amusing. “I’m… gonna be okay with some rest.”
“You’d better be.”
“But I can’t travel in this state,” he said tentatively. “Can I… stay for a while?”
And there it was: Ken’s eyes twinkling under the bright sunlight. It melted Josh’s anger a little. Very little. Josh smiled.
“You know you’re fucking lucky you didn’t lose a limb.”
“I know.”
“And it’s a good thing my place is close by.”
“I knew.”
Josh cocked his head in the direction of his house. “Come on in, then. Let’s get you straightened out.”
“And Kuro?”
“I’ll fix your baby up.” Josh pinched Ken’s untouched nosebridge. “But you first, you big baby.”
The next three weeks staying with Josh were the best three weeks of Ken’s life. Risking his life to get the chance? Totally worth it.
Josh had mothered Ken the first few days. No standing, no walking, no getting up by himself. Josh was always within ten feet of Ken to come to serve as a crutch or to get him what he needed. Ken didn’t know where or how, but Josh often went out during the day and came back with some medical supplies at nighttime. A few days of much needed tending, Ken was feeling much better. On the fifth day, he declared he was able to have sex. They went a few rounds just to prove it.
The next week was spent either fixing Kuro or joining Josh in his quest to salvage more usable parts. They had plenty of options. Josh’s shop-slash-house was right in the middle of a few dumping sites and junk shops. They even had access to a several old car stores. Ken thought he had seen everything Josh could do. Apparently, he was also handy at picking locks and playing the piano.
Their third week was domestic. Kuro was already halfway fixed and Josh often stopped halfway through fixing him to sit with Ken in the shade and look at the cloudy skies. At night, they took turns cooking for each other with whatever scraps they could find. Many times, Josh would stare at Ken as if to check if he was really okay. More often than not, it would end with Josh smiling.
Those three weeks really had been the best three weeks of Ken’s life. He wasn’t sure how to feel when Josh declared that Kuro was almost done.
Josh stared at Kuro’s engine for a few seconds before securing the wires and tightening all the bolts on him. He checked Kuro from left to right, top to bottom; he gave Kuro a 360 before turning to Ken.
It must have been Ken’s imagination, but Josh looked like he was hesitant to give Kuro back.
“Everything okay?”
Ken liked to think he was smiling. He knew for sure he wasn’t.
“Everything’s okay,” Josh replied. “He’s good as new.”
“Oh. Great.” Ken didn’t sound like it was great at all.
“Ken…”
Ken ignored his own reason. He stomped forward and pulled Josh in, taking in his grease-striped face for a huge kiss.
“Thanks for everything,” he told Josh. “The past few weeks have been…”
He didn’t get to finish but Josh nodded. “Yeah. I know.”
A pause. “Take care of yourself in Mars.”
Another pause. “Take care of yourself back here, too.”
They hugged one last time, one minute too long. Then Josh offered up Kuro to Ken saying he didn’t miss anything this time—whatever that meant. Right before he got on Kuro, Ken debated whether he should kiss Josh or hug him one last time. He decided on the former and gave Josh a quick kiss goodbye.
Only a week left before Josh got on the voyage. As Ken drove off into the highway, he wondered if he should have just spent the night.
In a place like Homeland, Josh thought happiness was nothing but a myth.
He was wrong. So wrong. Ken spent more than three weeks with him; those were the happiest three weeks in Josh’s life. In that time, he learned that he and Ken were not the paragon of comaptibility. Ken was an early riser, Josh was afternoon kinda guy. Ken liked to see things from the larger perspective, Josh was particular about details. Ken liked to roam around all day, Josh would rather stay home and work. Yet, when it came down to it, they could give up what they liked for the other—whether it was scavenging during the day or in bed when they held each other at night.
More than that, if he looked further back, Josh thought that every time Ken visited was an enjoyable time. Even when Ken brought him the worst cars, Josh had fun almost-fixing them.
“Class E voyage passengers! Class E voyage passengers over here, please!”
Happiness was not a myth; Josh knew that now. He knew it now because he felt the antithesis of it.
People flocked and elbowed one another when a female voyage staff called them over. They scrambled to get in front of the line first, dragging their valuables and companions along with them. Quarrels were already starting as some tried to cut in line, gaining other passengers’ disdain. Children cried, parents shouted, and Josh… Josh stayed back, biding his time.
Josh remembered where he was. Right. He was on his way to get on the voyage now. He joined the large mob of people who had various belongings, entrance tokens, and some family members with them. Josh himself had stuff he brought, albeit fewer. He was prepared to give up all his possessions and his workshop, bringing only a battered backpack to Mars.
Right. He was leaving for the Colony today.
“Hey, you! Class E passenger?”
Josh snapped out of his reverie and jumped, turning to the man who spoke. A tall, muscular officer with a bushy beard and a wooden club came rounding up the passengers and headed toward him.
“Yeh, I am. Sorry.”
The man gestured to the disorganized queue of angry people. “Get in the line. The buses don’t wait for anyone.”
“Yes, sir. I apologize.”
Josh dragged his feet forward. He turned around to check behind him. When he saw nothing, he continued his way forward. It was harder than it should have been.
It was easier to walk when he saw Ken for the first time—when Kuro was stalling and Ken crouched as if begging on his knees for it to move. It was easier when he was getting in Ken’s convertible. Josh didn’t even think twice about grabbing what little belongings he had and threw them into the back seat. It was easier as he was walking back into his tiny shack of a house with a hum on his lips, knowing Ken had found some mushrooms and some rootcrops to eat.
Now, Josh found that his shoes were filled with rocks. One step took so much out of him. Somehow, he kept looking back. But he knew he was waiting for nothing as Ken had already gone home to Lakewood. Josh wondered what traveling to that place would be like.
The queue was moving at a snail’s pace. Josh found more patience in him than he thought was there. As people offered their entrance tokens in exchange for voyage meal stubs and lowlives cut in front of him, Josh let them as he couldn’t find the motivation to move forward.
Inevitably, it was Josh’s turn. He turned back to the open field again as far back as the guarded barricade. When no blond head poked through the crowd, Josh turned back to the staff and surrendered the key to his workshop. He smiled at the lady who gave him his meal stubs and passed through the low fence separating him from the queue.
Someone screamed.
There was a ruckus and everyone turned to the entrance. Josh could hear guards commanding, “Get back! Move!” and “Stay where you are!” from behind them.
“JOSH!” said a voice. Josh finally recognized it.
He spun on his heel and turned to where the commotion was. There was that blond head he was waiting to see.
“Sir, please move forward to keep the line moving,” said the staff.
“Wait, I—I know him—” Josh said, tiptoeing to see better.
“Is he accompanying you?”
“No, he’s not my—”
“Then please move forward to keep the line moving. Next!”
His shoes suddenly felt weightless. Josh took a step forward and then another.
He jumped over the fence and ran.
“Sir, you can’t leave the line—!”
Who cares?
Josh ran faster than he ever had. Behind him, there was a woman calling “Sir!” after him, but he couldn’t care less. He pushed past the crowd and finally met Ken’s eyes.
Ken. Ken was there, getting dragged by a group of guards.
“Ken!”
“Josh—ugh—let me go!”
“Ken…!” Josh reached Ken and the officers who had him in a headlock. “Please—please, let me talk to him—he… I know him!”
The guards seemed reluctant, but they let Ken go, keeping within a close distance. It was easy to forget them as Josh kept his eyes on Ken. Ken looked like he had been through hell just getting there.
“What are you doing here?” Josh asked him.
Ken looked at each one of the guards and the staff before locking eyes with Josh. “I had to see you off,” he said.
“Well, congratulations. You just made it,” joked Josh.
“Yeah, I know…” Ken stared at him for a second, eyebrows furrowed, before he opened his mouth again. “I forgot to give you something.” He put his hand inside his back pocket and held out a small card to Josh. “I… don’t really have anything of value, but… Here.”
Ken handed Josh his citizen’s ID card. Josh giggled. “What the hell will you do without an ID?”
“I’ll ask for another one?” he answered, smiling a little. “Whatever. I want you to take it.”
“Why would I want your ID?”
“I promised to give you something to remember me by.”
Josh looked at the old card with an ugly photo of Ken. He didn’t respond.
“And I also wanted to tell you something,” he said, making Josh look up. “Actually… It’s a lie. I’ve been bringing you cars in really bad shape on purpose. The truth is, I don’t… I just wanted to spend time with you.”
A chuckle managed to escape Josh’s lips. Ken smiled.
“And… I also intentionally crashed both Kuro and me into a wall. Because I knew that would take some time to get fixed.”
“You idiot.” Josh could only hear adoration in his voice. “Guess it’s a good thing to know I’m not the only one.”
Ken gave him a weak smile. “What does that mean?”
“I never really fixed any of the cars you brought,” he answered. “Because I wanted you to keep coming back.”
“I like you,” Ken told him. “I think I love you.”
Josh felt the weight of the card in his hand and squeezed it tight. “I like you, too. I really do.”
Ken grinned. He nodded and nodded again like he was hearing one good thing after another. Ken took a deep breath in then huffed it out before looking back at Josh.
“That’s all I wanted to say,” he said. “Sorry if I gave everyone trouble.”
Josh chuckled. “‘S okay. I appreciate the gesture.”
“So…” Ken pushed his hands into his pockets and kicked an imaginary pebble. “Guess this is it? You a Colonial now.”
“Yeah,” Josh responded, voice deflating. “Yeah…”
“Cheer up!” Ken said, giving Josh’s chest a light punch. “I hear Earth is more visible from Mars than the other way around. You’ll always get to see me.”
“I already have your ugly ID photo for that, though…”
“Sir, you really need to get back for the buses.”
Both Ken and Josh turned to the female staff. Josh wanted to get mad at her, but he knew she was right.
It was getting hard to breathe and think. Josh turned to Ken, hand clutching to the ID like a lifeline. “I should get going.”
Ken gave him a bright smile. That was probably the last time Josh would see it. “Go. Have fun in Mars.”
Josh liked to think he smiled and nodded, but he couldn’t feel his body move. He turned, unable to look at Ken any longer, then dragged his once-again heavy feet toward the fence. Josh gripped the ID in his hand; it did nothing for him.
What, exactly, would do somehting for him right now?
Something stupid, he figured.
Josh stopped walking. He turned.
When he ran again, his feet felt lighter—lighter than they had felt before.
Run, run, run. The staff called to him and the guards stared, but Josh had never felt more like running in his life. Ken was right there, just within Josh’s reach. Josh would regret not reaching out for him now.
So he did.
“Ken!” Josh yelled.
Never has a shout been louder in Homeland.
The moon was big and bright tonight and the weather was fine. Stars twinkled in the vast night sky as if putting on a show. Ken had seen a similar beautiful view once a few years ago. Those sure were the times.
He looked around the empty clearing. Nobody was around, which meant he had the entire view to himself. Ken sat on the grass, his feet dangling off the edge of the cliff, and craned his head up to the sky over Lakewood.
Mars was somewhere out there. Wonder which one of the twinkling lights it is?
“Hey, you…” called a voice. Ken smiled without seeing the face.
“Hey, you,” he replied. He turned to the treeline and saw, just as he expected, Josh leaning over a tree with his arms crossed over his chest. “Come here for stargazing?”
Josh chuckled. “In a way,” he replied. “Your mom says dinner’s ready. She told me to come get you.”
“Right…” But Josh didn’t seem intent on leaving, either. He sat beside Ken and looked at the lake below them before gazing up at the stars, too. “Why do you still say ‘my mom’, anyway? She already told you to call her just ‘Mom’.”
“Still getting used to it.” Josh smiled. “It’s so beautiful tonight.”
Every night has been beautiful, Ken said, though he may not have been able to say that out loud. He was far too busy staring at Josh’s awed expression as he gazed up at the stars. There was a look he never had in his face living between two concrete buildings. Josh would never had been able to watch the stars back where he lived. Now, it had been a habit of his to find Mars among the constellations of twinkling lights. Maybe he was thinking about his family. Maybe he was thinking about how he could have gone up there years ago.
Years ago, Ken thought Josh had decided to board the voyage to Mars. Ken had given him up; he thought it would be best if Josh came to be with his family. Ken had watched him for a while before the distance became to painful. Ken turned and walked away to begin his process of moving.
That was when he heard his name.
“Ken!”
He looked back. Of course, he looked back. He didn’t want to get his hopes up but Ken was stupid like that.
He saw Josh running toward him. There was a female staff member running after Josh that he ignored.
“If you really like me,” Josh told him then, and Ken never forgot what he said, “then do something really, really stupid with me.”
And Ken was good at doing the stupid things. He grabbed Josh’s hand and they both ran away. That day, Josh had refused his seat in the voyage for a seat next to Ken on Kuro. They had been together ever since.
What a terrible fucking idea that was, to leave the prosperity of Mars for the wastelands of Homeland. But Josh thought it was brilliant and suddenly, Homeland was less of a wasteland to Ken. It was more beautiful, somehow.
All that beauty made possible because of one stupid man.
“What?”
Ken blinked and found that Josh caught him staring.
Josh grinned. “Something on my face?”
“No,” Ken told him. “Just thinking.”
“We both know that’s bad for you, babe.”
“Har, har.” Ken shook his head. “No, I was just… do you regret it?”
Josh stared at the deepest parts of Ken through his eyes. By now, they had been together long enough to make explanations moot.
He leaned over and gave Ken a light kiss on his lips.
“I don’t,” he answered, giving Ken all the assurance with just the twinkle of his eyes. “I miss my mom and my sister, but… It felt right to be with you.”
“It ‘felt’,” Ken emphasized.
“What?’
“Felt, like past tense.”
“It feels right to be with you,” Josh rolled his eyes. “This is why you shouldn’t think too much.”
Ken grinned. “I know. It makes me sentimental.”
“I mean, it doesn’t seem like there’s much to see on Mars, anyway,” Josh told him. “My sister says it’s all red dust and sandstorms. Kinda glad I ditched.”
“You got their letters?” Ken’s eyes grew wide.
Josh nodded. “She’s congratuling me on finding someone who can stand my guts, apparently. And she sends her condolences to you.”
“Really?” Ken grinned. “And your mom? She’s not mad?”
“She’s sulking a little…” Josh gave a sad smile. “But my sister says she’s coming ‘round. And her letter that just arrived was written a year ago, so maybe by now…”
Ken put a hand over Josh’s. “I’m glad you’re here, Josh.”
“Oh, how will I ever survive?” Josh fake-cried. But he held Ken’s hand and squeezed it tight. “This is so much better than that stupid ID.”
Ken just laughed.
He rested his head on his forever’s shoulder and he and Josh stared at the view that reflected on the lake.
The winds whooshed around them. A storm would probably come by in the following days as usual. The weather is forecasted to be moody and grayer now than it had ever been. Yeah, Homeland still sucked for the most part. But right then, right there, Ken didn’t mind it. Whether Homeland will end in fire and volcanic eruptions or end in a sheet of icy snow, when Josh kissed the top of his forehead… he felt everything was just right.