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Sweat trickled down between Nicholas’s shoulder blades, trailing down his spine to settle in the valleys of his back. His fingers were tightly curled in the sheets, his knuckles long-gone white with the pressure. He gasped into the bed, struggling to breathe between the pleasure flowing through his body and how deeply he was burying his face in the pillows.  

Vash pressed his tongue to Nicholas’s skin, lapping up the sweat pooling in the divets of his spine before he licked a long line up to the back of Nicholas’s neck.

“I love the way you taste,” Vash hummed, his breath hot on Nicholas’s neck. “I can’t get enough of you.” He nosed around the base of Nicholas’s hairline, licking his skin until Nicholas was covered in more of Vash’s saliva than his own sweat. 

It should’ve been gross and off-putting, but all it did was make Nicholas moan and squirm against Vash. Desire swirled deep in the caverns of his ribcage, flooding his very being until all that remained of him was Vash. 

“Fuck,” Nicholas keened. Tremors wracked his body, his thighs and hands trembling uncontrollably as Vash thrust into him. Nicholas could almost feel his organs turning to dust inside his skin, replaced entirely by a burning, insatiable hunger. “Right there. Feels so good.” 

Vash laughed as he licked Nicholas’s skin, deep and low in his chest. The vibrations of it spread throughout Nicholas’s body, rattling his bones and making Nicholas moan as his mind and body were so utterly engulfed in Vash. 

Vash finally pulled away from Nicholas’s neck. Goosebumps broke out over his wet skin as the cold air hit it, and Nicholas shivered as he mourned the loss of Vash’s mouth. His grief was short lived, though, as Vash started fucking Nicholas with earnest. 

Vash’s glass hand was placed under Nicholas’s hip, his fingers digging painfully into the bone as he held up Nicholas’s waist. Vash was normally so gentle with his prosthetic hand, but Nicholas had come to discover that he forgot to control his strength when he was enjoying himself; thus, Nicholas didn’t mind when Vash’s hands grabbed him so tightly it bruised. It was a sign that Vash enjoyed this just as much as Nicholas did, and feeling that sharp pain in his hips made Nicholas groan in pleasure as Vash’s hips snapped roughly into his. 

Nicholas lifted his head with the uncontrollable urge to turn back and look at Vash, but Vash moved his organic hand to the back of Nicholas’s neck and kept him pinned to the mattress. 

“Stay,” Vash growled. Despite the harshness of his tone and actions, his thumb rubbed gentle circles behind Nicholas’s ear in a way that made Nicholas want to sob into the pillow. 

Nicholas relaxed into Vash’s grip, his body practically turning into liquid in Vash’s hands. He could feel his ass and thighs bounce with every thrust, the sound and scent of sex filling the small motel room. Gasps and moans were punched out of Nicholas’s lungs with every snap of Vash’s hips, lust pouring into his mind and flooding every crevice until Nicholas wasn’t sure he even existed beyond Vash anymore. 

“I’ve been thinking about fucking you all day,” Vash murmured, his glass hand slipping down until he was grabbing Nicholas’s cock and jerking it in time with his thrusts. “You drive me crazy. You need to dress more modestly.”

Nicholas whined, pressing his forehead into the pillows as his cock throbbed in Vash’s hand. He wanted so desperately to turn around and look at Vash; all he could think about was wrapping his arms around Vash’s shoulders, their breaths intermingling as they kissed. 

He wondered what Vash looked like as he fucked Nicholas. Was Vash blushing? He always had that permanent blush on his face from the sun, but would his face be flushed with arousal while he fucked Nicholas? Would his pupils be dilated with want? Would his hair be wet and matted to his forehead with sweat, his chest heaving from exertion? 

The thought of Vash, perfect Vash losing his composure because of Nicholas was enough to send a spiral of desire straight down Nicholas’s belly, coiling deep within him like a wire ready to split at any minute. He could feel pre-cum drip down his cock, and Vash immediately used it to slick up Nicholas’s cock on top of the lube they used. 

“You’re such a tease,” Nicholas said, his voice coming out in a high-pitched whine. He was too turned on to be embarrassed by it, his cock aching in Vash’s hand with the need to cum. 

Vash made a noncommittal noise that showed he didn’t care, but the pacing of his thrusts became more erratic nevertheless. His hips were slamming aggressively into Nicholas’s, his cock rubbing against Nicholas’s prostate with every well-timed thrust. Vash had gotten extraordinarily skilled at finding all of Nicholas’s sweet spots after all the times they’d slept together, and now he didn’t waste his time as he pushed Nicholas to his limits. 

It was agonizing with how good it felt, tears collecting on Nicholas’s eyelashes as he moaned incoherently into the pillow. He could feel drool slipping past his lips, and he bit down on the soft fabric of the pillow. He pretended it was Vash’s shoulder instead, imagining that he and Vash were pressed chest-to-chest in a semblance of love instead of whatever the fuck this was. 

Nicholas’s hole clenched around Vash’s cock as tears roughly trailed down his cheeks. “Fuck,” he sobbed. He rocked his hips back into Vash’s, desperately chasing the high of pleasure. “Vash, please. Please.”

Vash hummed and rubbed Nicholas’s back reassuringly, continuing to ram into his ass and abuse Nicholas’s prostate without respite. It was torture, the way Vash would pull out until only the head of his cock remained in Nicholas before he would slam back in. His glass fingers expertly slid over Nicholas’s cock, his thumb rubbing under the head while his organic fingers slipped into Nicholas’s hair to grab fistfuls and snap his head backwards. 

Nicholas moaned loudly, his eyelashes wet as tears flowed freely down his face. He wasn’t sure if Vash could ever tell that he cried during sex, since they never fucked in a position that allowed them to see each other’s faces. Maybe Vash could hear him, could see the shaking of his shoulders, and just didn’t care. Nicholas wasn’t sure which option was worse. 

“I’m close,” Vash mumbled, sounding completely unaffected. He never lost his breath or composure during sex, acting as if it was just another normal activity. “How are you feeling, Wolfwood?” 

“Me, too,” Nicholas bit out, though he wasn’t sure if Vash could understand him between his moans and tears. His cock was throbbing painfully in Vash’s fingers, cum steadily dripping from the tip. 

“Good,” Vash said. With one final, hard thrust, Vash pushed Nicholas over the edge. 

Nicholas groaned, his hips pushing up into Vash’s as his cum spilled onto the sheets. He could feel Vash cum in him as Nicholas orgasmed, and it drove Nicholas higher into the planes of pleasure as he clamped down around Vash’s cock. His ears were ringing loudly, and Nicholas was no longer aware of where he ended and Vash started. He was panting heavily, his chest heaving as he struggled to breathe. His fingers were painfully  fisting the sheets; if Vash tried to unfurl Nicholas’s hands, he’d have to break his fingers to loosen his grip. 

Vash gave Nicholas a couple of moments to come down from his orgasmic high before pulling out, his cum leaking from Nicholas’s hole and trailing down his thighs. 

Nicholas wanted to see Vash’s face with every fiber of his being. He wanted to know whether Vash was staring at Nicholas’s fucked out body with awe or disgust—or if he was even looking at Nicholas at all.  

Vash yawned, the sound of his popping joints filling the room as he stretched. “I’ll be quick,” he said, giving Nicholas’s ass a slap as he left to go shower.  

Nicholas rolled over and hugged the pillow to his chest, the base of his spine throbbing with a dull ache. He looked down at his hips, seeing a bruise in the shape of Vash’s handprint bloom over his skin. 

Nicholas tentatively laid his hand to rest over the bruise. His hands were far larger than Vash’s, the skin on his palms rough and calloused compared to the cool smoothness of Vash’s glass hand. 

Nicholas gently rubbed the bruise before he forced himself out of bed. He lit a cigarette as he pulled a pair of boxers on, working on stripping his bed of the soiled sheets. His body was still trembling from the aftershocks of his orgasm, and Nicholas desperately wished the bar was still open so he could go down for a drink. 

He rubbed the base of his spine to soothe the ache growing there, blowing cigarette smoke out of his nose with a bitter sigh. 

Nicholas knew he wasn’t anything special to Vash. He was just an easy and convenient fuck. They used each other to blow off steam, nothing more, nothing less. That was their agreement, the contract surrounding their relationship. 

At first, it didn’t bother Nicholas. He was just as horny as anyone else, and having a hot blond who wanted to fuck him seemed like a dream come true. 

Then the feelings started. It was gradual. Nicholas would look at Vash and he’d smile without reason. He’d make sure Vash ate before Nicholas even thought of eating. He’d buy useless trinkets at the market for no reason other than Vash would like them. 

The day Nicholas started daydreaming about running away with Vash and starting a new life was the day when Nicholas knew he was utterly, irrevocably fucked. 

Vash had been alive for over a century and a half. He had to have had his fair share of partners at this point. What were the odds that none of them ever caught feelings for Vash and presented the idea of a committed relationship? If Vash had declined everyone who came before Nicholas, then what made Nicholas think he had a chance? 

Nicholas definitely wasn’t the first idiot to fall in love with Vash the Stampede. He was just the worst person to do so, his soul made up of sin and hatred—how could someone as godly as Vash ever love someone as unholy as Nicholas? 

If Vash’s previous partners failed the test, then there was no hope for Nicholas. It was foolish to even entertain the idea. 

Nicholas irritably stubbed out his cigarette, immediately lighting another. 

Fifteen minutes later, Vash was exiting the bathroom. He had a satiated smile on his face, his hair still wet and dripping dark patches onto his gray shirt. 

“The shower’s free,” Vash said. He looked Nicholas up and down, turning away without another word. 

“Okay,” Nicholas replied, his voice raspy and worn rough from the sex. He finished his second cigarette before he made his way to the bathroom, the bathroom still steamy and warm from Vash’s shower. 

Nicholas carefully washed all the cum and sweat off his body, washing his hair afterwards before exiting the shower. He examined himself in the mirror as he dried off. The bruise on his hip was the only mark Vash left behind, and Nicholas scowled as he got dressed. 

Vash never left any marks on Nicholas’s body. Not intentionally, anyway. He left a lot of bruises on Nicholas’s ass and hips, entirely by accident. 

It made Nicholas furious. He wanted Vash to stake his claim on Nicholas’s body. Nicholas wanted to  stake his claim on Vash’s body; he wanted to run his tongue over all those scars, suck new bruises into his pale skin and add a mark that meant Vash was loved and treated with care for once. 

Nicholas glared at his reflection in the mirror as if he could intimidate those thoughts out of his head. He left the bathroom and crawled into bed, looking over his shoulder at Vash. He was already sleeping, his chest rising and falling peacefully. 

That was one thing Nicholas had to give himself credit for, he supposed. Vash never slept as well as he did after they fucked. 

Nicholas lit another cigarette, watching the smoke curl into the shapes of Vash’s body as he dozed off. 

Here was the thing: Vash had rules for whenever they fucked. 

He laid them down for Nicholas when they formed their friends-with-benefits relationship. Plain and simple, right? Every friends-with-benefits relationship needed some ground rules to function well. 

Well, Nicholas wasn’t happy with these rules. In fact, he was infuriated. 

The first rule was that Nicholas wasn’t allowed to touch Vash. That was understandable—maybe the guy just had some trauma relating to touch the way Nicholas had. Maybe he didn’t have any trauma at all, and he just didn’t like to be touched. Who was Nicholas to judge? 

Nicholas tried to touch Vash, once. He had reached behind himself while they were fucking, attempting to touch any part of Vash that was within reach. Vash had just pettily smacked his hands away, giving Nicholas a disappointed sigh. 

“Don’t do that,” Vash had said like he was scolding a dog. He grabbed Nicholas’s arms, twisting his elbows behind his back and forcefully pinning Nicholas in place while he fucked him. 

Nicholas had to admit that he enjoyed it more than he should’ve; when Vash took what he wanted without hesitation, it made Nicholas feel like Vash wanted Nicholas the same way Nicholas wanted him. 

Still, that wasn’t a replacement for actually touching Vash. Nicholas wanted to feel Vash’s skin under his palms. He wanted to know what Vash’s scars felt like. He wanted to know if he’d be able to feel Vash’s heartbeat through the metal grate over his heart.

He wanted to know if Vash even had a heartbeat. 

The second rule was that Nicholas wasn’t allowed to look at Vash. 

That one was harder to comply with. Vash was so effortlessly gorgeous that Nicholas had a hard time keeping his eyes off of him, and being expected to keep his eyes closed whenever they fucked was torture. 

Nicholas didn’t even know what Vash was so afraid of. It wasn’t like Nicholas hadn’t seen him shirtless. What was the issue? 

There was one time Nicholas turned to look over his shoulder while Vash was pulling his shirt off. He caught Vash staring at him while Nicholas undressed, and Nicholas’s had heart stuttered in his chest. He’d waited with baited breath to see if Vash would let them break his rule just this once . 

Vash had just given Nicholas a look that was a cross between irritation and sadness, pulling his shirt back down from where he had raised it to his chest to pull it off. 

They didn’t have sex that night. 

The third rule was that Vash and Nicholas didn’t kiss, and they didn’t call each other pet names. 

Nicholas had never tried to kiss Vash. He was too afraid. He dreamt about it often, but he knew it was off limits. Even if it wasn’t, Nicholas wouldn’t have the courage to kiss him. Vash didn’t seem like the kind of person who would kiss someone he wasn’t in love with. 

Besides that, Nicholas was nervous. Prior to Vash, he’d never even slept with anyone before. Vash didn’t know that, though—it was easy to fake it when all Nicholas had to do was lay on his belly and take it, but how could he fake having experience with kissing? Vash would catch on in a heartbeat. 

There was one time Vash called Nicholas ‘baby’ during sex. It made Nicholas cum so hard his senses had flickered out and it took him a while to recover from his orgasm, and Vash never called him anything other than Wolfwood during sex after that. 

Nicholas couldn’t fight off his shame and disappointment afterwards. He was embarrassed that his pathetic feelings were so obvious that it made Vash uncomfortable and regressed the little progress they made. 

At least Vash wasn’t so disgusted by it that he stopped fucking Nicholas all together. 

The fourth rule was the worst: they never fucked face to face. 

Of course, Nicholas had tried to break this one over and over. When they were getting ready to fuck he’d lay on his back with his legs spread open for Vash, but Vash would just grab him by the knees and flip him over like he weighed nothing.

Nicholas had suggested bondage and a blindfold, once. He thought that if his hands were bound and his eyes were covered, then Vash would finally fuck Nicholas in a different position. 

No such luck. Vash loved the bondage and blindfold, tying Nicholas’s arms tightly behind his back. He used the ropes as handles as he fucked Nicholas, and even if the sex was good, some of the best they’d ever had, Nicholas couldn’t shake the disappointment and anger that built up in him. 

The fifth and final rule: they didn’t acknowledge it afterwards. 

Vash never wasted his time on aftercare or post-coital snuggling. He would pull out of Nicholas, his cum trailing after him, and then he’d go take a shower without another word. He’d come out fully dressed, and he’d lay down in his own bed. 

He never complimented Nicholas. Never told him how pretty he was or how well he did during sex. Never said how good Nicholas made him feel. 

Nicholas would always walk to the bathroom on wobbly legs afterwards. Sometimes he’d cry in the shower, feeling all the more pathetic for it. When he was done, he’d come back to a dark room and he’d strip the sheets in silence before sleeping on a barren mattress. 

That was how it always went. No matter what Nicholas did to try and break the status quo, Vash wouldn’t allow it. 

It was something Nicholas had to accept and learn to deal with if he wanted to be close to Vash. He was a weak man who wanted to indulge in his desires. 

He was going to die soon anyway. Why not experience a little death every night at the hands of the man he was in love with? 

It took Nicholas a couple more weeks of fucking Vash before he decided he’d finally had enough. 

Each time they fucked was no different. Vash would fuck Nicholas from behind, Nicholas’s chest pressed to the sheets and his tears hidden by pillows. Vash wouldn’t take care of Nicholas afterwards, and Nicholas had to pretend that there wasn’t a gaping hole in his heart that grew larger each time they fucked. 

He was so maddeningly in love with Vash that it hurt. He could feel it deep in his lungs, thorny vines clawing their way up his throat to choke him with their desperation. 

Nicholas was miserable. He knew that he could never be someone that Vash would love. He was nothing more than a failed science experiment. So why didn’t that stop hope from bubbling up in his chest every time Vash so much as looked at him? 

Ugh. Conrad should’ve just killed Nicholas when he had the chance. Then Nicholas wouldn’t have to deal with this. 

On second thought, maybe Nicholas would just do it himself. It was certainly better than any other option he had; either die alone in the desert, shot to death following Vash, or something far worse. 

Nicholas groaned in frustration, taking a deep gulp of his whiskey as his cigarette dangled between his fingers. The scent of cigarette smoke was so heavy in the air that it was starting to make him feel sick, but the crowd of the bar was far easier to deal with than whatever awaited him back in his room with Vash. 

“You okay, son?” a stranger to his right asked, giving Nicholas a concerned look through the side of his eyes. 

Nicholas curled his lip at the man. “Mind your business.” 

The man guffawed, knocking back his whiskey. He kind of reminded Nicholas of Roberto in a way, and Nicholas shrugged that thought away before grief could settle into his mind. 

“Whatever it is, you’ll figure it out,” the man said. “Things always seem more drastic when you’re young.” 

“What do you know?” Nicholas grumbled, resting his cheek in his palm. 

“A man has only got two reasons to be that upset about something, and love is both of them,” the old man said. 

Nicholas rolled his eyes as he downed the rest of his whiskey in one gulp, slamming the empty glass down on the table. “Worry about yourself, old man.” 

The old man barked out a laugh, taking a drink of his own whiskey. “They’ll get it eventually, kid.” 

Nicholas glared at the man. He threw his money on the table to pay for his drink, leaving the bar. The air outside was cool and smelled of dry sand, a welcome trade to the stuffy environment of the bar. Nicholas lit a cigarette as he trudged towards the inn, his feet dragging in the sand. 

What would he say to Vash when he got there? Nicholas should have planned this out. He was never a confrontational man, and the thought of breaking things off with Vash made his hands shake as his blood ran cold. 

Before he knew it, he was standing outside their shared hotel room. Nicholas took a deep breath, knocking on the door to announce his arrival before entering. 

Vash looked up from where he was sitting at the dining table, his legs pulled up onto the chair and folded underneath his body. He was wearing his sleep clothes, a pair of gray sweatpants and a black shirt. He looked freshly showered; his hair still hung down in wet clumps around his head. 

Vash gave Nicholas a bright smile. “You’re back,” he said, sounding genuinely pleased to see Nicholas. “Did you have fun?” 

Fuck. How the hell was Nicholas supposed to break things off with Vash now, when Vash looked at him like that? 

“Sure,” Nicholas slowly said as he stubbed out his cigarette, taking his shoes off by the door to buy some time. 

Vash hopped off his chair, padding adorably over to Nicholas. He grabbed the lapels of Nicholas’s shirt, toying with it as he coyly tilted his head to the side. “You’re not too tired to have some more fun, are you?” 

Nicholas looked down at Vash’s long fingers on his shirt, his heart twisting painfully in his chest. He took a deep breath and grabbed Vash’s wrist, letting it fall easily out of his hands when Vash pulled out of his grip. 

“We’re not continuing this, Spikey,” Nicholas said, watching Vash’s hands hang limply by his side. 

Vash’s eyebrows scrunched up in confusion, his nose wrinkling. His lips twitched into a frown. “What?”

“I’m done with… this,” Nicholas said, gesturing between them. He took out a cigarette and shakily lit it against his lips, hoping Vash wouldn’t notice his nerves. “It’s over.”

Vash’s expression went through a series of emotions in the span of seconds, finally settling somewhere between irritated and hurt. He took a step backwards from Nicholas, his posture stiffening. “I got that, but why?” he asked defensively. “Did I do something?” 

“No—I mean—this just isn’t working out for either of us,” Nicholas fumbled, using his cigarette as a distraction. He almost wanted to take it all back and erase those last few moments. He hated seeing Vash upset—he’d do anything to keep Vash happy—but for once Nicholas had to put himself first. “Might as well quit while you’re ahead, you know?” 

“What do you mean it isn’t working out for either of us?” Vash scoffed. “It was working out for me.” 

Something deep and violently angry suddenly broke in Nicholas. If he were an animal, he’d launch himself at Vash and bite and claw every inch of his body. 

“Yeah? Well, it isn’t working out for me,” Nicholas growled. “That’s the fucking point here, Vash. I’m not happy.” 

Vash frowned angrily, his eyes shining brightly behind his glasses. “Why didn’t you say anything, Wolfwood? If you were unhappy, why didn’t you tell me? Do you really expect me to be able to read your mind and know what you want?” 

“I shouldn’t have to tell you that I’m unhappy for you to know!” Nicholas snapped. “Couldn’t you tell, or were you too absorbed in yourself to notice?!” 

“How the fuck was I supposed to notice, Wolfwood?” Vash retorted. “You don’t talk to me!” 

“My bad for thinking that talking about this would be another thing that’s off limits for you!” Nicholas shouted. “You would’ve just made it another rule!” 

Vash’s jaw dropped before he snapped it shut angrily. “I—you—“ he spluttered. “That’s completely different!” 

“How the fuck is it different?” Nicholas retaliated. 

“Boundaries and communicating are two different things!”

“That’s exactly the thing!” Nicholas snapped. “I’m fucking sick of your boundaries, Vash! You don’t do anything for me! You don’t let me look at you, kiss you, touch you. What the fuck is your problem, huh?” 

Vash squared his shoulders, his jaw tensing. “That’s for your own good, Wolfwood,” he said. “Trust me.” 

“Why can’t you trust me?” Nicholas asked, desperation tainting his voice. 

Vash blinked after him, his expression softening. “It’s not that,” Vash said. “I just—I don’t deserve—“ 

“Don’t give me none of that ‘I don’t deserve to be loved’ bullshit, Vash,” Nicholas interrupted. “What about me? Don’t I deserve to be loved?” 

“Of course you do,” Vash said, his entire body twitching toward Nicholas. 

“Then why can’t you?” Nicholas asked. He dejectedly took another hit of his cigarette, and he wasn’t sure if the knot in the back of his throat was from the smoke or the urge to cry. “Why can’t you love me, Vash? Why can’t you let me love you?” 

“I—“ Vash started, his mouth popping open and shut. “I’m sorry, Wolfwood,” he finally said, his voice quiet as he hung his head. He looked at the floor, refusing to meet Nicholas’s eyes. 

Nicholas slowly nodded. The knot in his throat was growing larger, and his vision went blurry as tears collected on his eyelashes. He pushed his glasses up his nose, grateful that they were obscuring his eyes from Vash. 

He took a deep breath and collected his things. Vash didn’t try to stop him. 

“That’s it, then?” Nicholas asked as he paused at the door with the Punisher and his bag behind him, waiting to see if Vash would say anything— anything— to try and get Nicholas to stay. 

Vash let him go without another word, and Nicholas took wobbling steps down the hallway as he tried to keep himself from falling apart. 

The air inside the abandoned ship was sickening. Dust and sand covered every surface, the particles dancing in the cracks of sunlight and fogging up the building. 

Nicholas wasn’t helping the air quality at all, a cigarette nestled between his lips. He knew smoking inside the building wasn’t the best idea, but he’d been unable to go longer than a couple minutes without a cigarette these past few weeks. 

Nicholas looked over at Vash, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth as he blew smoke out of his nose. He turned around, fidgeting with the old technology. 

He and Vash had hardly spoken at all in the past two weeks. Vash barely even looked at him, only keeping things civil while they were all together so Meryl wouldn’t catch on to their situation. They no longer shared a room—Vash had asked Meryl to start sharing with him instead, claiming that he was getting sick from the scent of cigarette smoke that followed Nicholas around. 

Nicholas pretended it didn’t hurt. Vash was just a job, after all. Even if Nicholas had done what was asked of him, he couldn’t expect Vash to seriously care for him after everything that happened. 

Nicholas could leave. He was free to do whatever he wanted. Why did he stick around? 

He knew he shouldn’t have gotten attached to Vash in the first place. Nicholas should’ve turned down Vash the first time they fucked, but how could he possibly say no? 

Nicholas sniffled, rubbing his nose with his wrist. Now wasn’t a good time to ruminate on his past fuck-ups and his ruined relationship with Vash. Meryl was already starting to suspect something was wrong since Nicholas had been so snappy the past two weeks, and it would be best for everyone involved if he didn’t let his composure crack any further. 

“I’m going to look up here,” Nicholas announced to no one in particular. The reason they were at the ship in the first place was because Vash thought he might be able to find something regarding The Great Fall. Nicholas had no clue what they were supposed to actually be looking for, so he was of no use to their investigation. 

Nicholas walked up the metal steps to the third floor of the ship. The old platforms creaked ominously under his weight, but Nicholas paid it no mind. He dragged the Punisher along behind him, his mind wandering as he walked along.

He paused and looked over the deteriorating railing of the walkway, looking down at the base level of the ship where Vash and Meryl were. This area looked like it could’ve been grand once—like an atrium, or something. Dead plants filled the decorative pots, and the skylight above them was completely covered in sand. 

He heard the floor creak behind him, and Nicholas didn’t turn to see which idiot had come to join him. “This place is a mess,” he muttered, stubbing out his cigarette. 

He frowned and turned around when he got no answer, coming face-to-face with a gun and a sneer he didn’t recognize. “Oh, fuck,” Nicholas said, his voice echoing throughout the abandoned ship. 

“The Stampede’s over here!” the man—a ravager, by the looks of him—yelled. He slammed his gun into Nicholas’s head, and Nicholas could feel hot blood flowing down the side of his temple. He growled and grabbed the man’s shooting arm to deflect his aim, and the man let out a series of bullets into the ceiling as Nicholas pushed his arm away. He could distantly hear Meryl and Vash shouting, but Nicholas ignored it as he scuffled with the man. 

The man pulled a shiv out from his sleeve, shoving it into Nicholas’s abdomen, right under his ribs. Nicholas grunted in pain and pulled it out without giving himself the time to think about it, shoving it right back into the man’s arm. The man howled, butting his head forward until his skull collided with Nicholas’s. 

Nicholas stumbled backwards as his senses flickered out, his hands darting out as he searched for the railing. The last thing he wanted was to tumble three stories down an abandoned ship—he’d been impaled before, and he’d really like to avoid being impaled again. 

He used his dress shirt to wipe blood out of his eyes, glaring at the ravager as he pulled his pistol out of his pants. He shot the man’s ear, knowing full well that Vash would be furious with him if he actually killed the man. 

The man screamed, his hand flying to the side of his head. He glared at Nicholas, running towards him with a newfound fury. 

“Undertaker!” Meryl yelled, her eyes wide and mouth pulled into a deep frown as she looked at Nicholas. Vash was behind her, his expression carefully blank as he looked between Nicholas and the ravager. 

“There’s more!” Nicholas shouted as he braced himself against another hit. His side and head were smarting painfully, and Nicholas once again used his shirt to wipe blood out of his face. He was getting concerned with the amount of blood he was losing—if he didn’t find a good chance to take his meds soon, it would spell disaster for him and the little team he’d started to grow fond of. 

The ravager’s friends decided to make their introductions at that moment. One popped out from a dark hallway to start shooting at Meryl and Vash, but Vash expertly shot the bullets out of the air as he shoved Meryl behind a crate. The original ravager shot Vash, Vash narrowly dodging the bullet with a shout.

Nicholas furiously launched himself at the original ravager, both of them falling into the ground in a heap of blood and limbs. Nicholas kicked the gun out of the man’s hands, shoving the man down onto the ground. He straddled the man and began landing blow after blow on the man’s face, ignoring Vash’s and Meryl’s shouts and pleas for him to stop and just leave the man alone. 

It was cathartic, in a strange way. All the pent up anger and sadness that Nicholas had been carrying around for the past two weeks—no, the past twenty-six years— was transferring from his fists to the man with every blow. Everything around him faded out of his senses until it was only Nicholas and the nameless man underneath him. In the back of his mind he was aware that this was overkill, but Nicholas couldn’t find the willpower in him to stop. 

The man made a desperate gurgling noise as he choked on his own blood, his nose broken by Nicholas’s hands. His hands scrabbled around on the platform, and Nicholas noticed too late that the man was reaching for his gun as the cold metal of the barrel pressed into his hip. The man squeezed the trigger before Nicholas could get away.

Nicholas grit his teeth as he fell over, his eyes squeezing shut as the man kicked him in the ribs. The man spit blood at Nicholas before pointing the gun at his head. 

Before Nicholas knew it, Vash was pulling the guy away and throwing him across the platforms. He looked furious, and Nicholas blinked at him through all the blood in his eyes. Was Vash really that mad that Nicholas hit the man? Nicholas knew that Vash followed his pacifist values to his very core, but certainly that didn’t apply to self-defense… right?

Well… Nicholas did beat the guy halfway to hell. 

Nicholas shakily got up as he spit blood out of his mouth, his body protesting with every movement. Blood was steadily oozing out of his stab wound, bullet wound, and his head. He coughed as he reached for the medicine in his pocket, his breath rattling in his lungs. 

“Wolfwood!” Meryl screamed, her voice shrill with fear. “Behind you!” 

Before Nicholas could get the chance to look, he felt an excruciating pain in his left shoulder blade. Time seemed to slow down as he watched a bullet rip through his chest, missing his heart by a hair. He gasped as he stumbled, his hand instinctively going to the hole in his chest. The bullet tore through his jacket—and all the vials of medicine Nicholas carried with him. 

Nicholas watched his blood flow evenly between his fingers. The pain was so overwhelming at this point that Nicholas had gone comfortably numb, and Nicholas turned around to see Vash locked in a defensive battle with the original ravager and two of his friends. One of the new ravagers shot Vash, the bullet glinting off his glass arm with a loud cling. 

Nicholas had enough of this. He released the Punisher, cutting one of the new ravagers in half with his laser cannon. The original ravager turned to look at Nicholas, his face more gore and blood than anything else. Nicholas didn’t hesitate to shoot the man in the head with his pistol, his head hitting the platform with a sickening squelch. The last ravager gave Nicholas a frightened look, and Nicholas wasted no time in planting a bullet in his head, too. 

The resounding silence was deafening. All that could be heard were Nicholas’s harsh breaths, and he let himself collapse on the floor with the Punisher for support. He closed his eyes, knowing that Vash would come over and yell at him for killing those men any second now. 

“Wolfwood!” Vash said, kneeling beside Nicholas. His eyebrows were pushed up in worry, his lip bleeding from how hard he was biting it. “Get up!” 

Nicholas laughed, starting to feel delirious from  the blood loss. “What, not gonna lecture me, Spikey?” 

Vash frowned, his expression growing more frantic by the second. He started patting Nicholas’s chest with a strange desperation, his hands and jacket quickly becoming soaked in blood. Meryl was standing solemnly behind him, tears collecting in her eyes. 

“Goddamnit, Nicholas!” Vash cried, his hands balling up into fists as he grabbed Nicholas’s shirt. “Where are your vials?” 

Nicholas slowly lifted a hand, showing off the hole in his jacket pocket where he usually kept his medicine. The jacket was soaked with blood and the medicine, glass clinking in what was left of the blown out pocket. 

“See? The bullet got them all,” he said. He watched as blood poured from his chest like a waterfall, the flow pulsating and becoming thicker with every beat of his heart. 

“Nicholas,” Vash said, his shoulders shaking with his barely held back sobs. He dropped his forehead onto Nicholas’s chest, seemingly not caring that he was getting Nicholas’s blood all over him. 

Nicholas laid his hand to rest on Vash’s shoulder, letting his eyes slip shut. His vision was pulsating red with his weakening heartbeat, and his fingers had gone cold and numb. Nicholas hated this feeling—he’d been on the verge of death countless times, but he could never get used to it.

At least he got to rest in Vash’s arms this time. There was nothing Nicholas hated more than bleeding out alone, his body struggling to repair itself against all odds. 

“I have more… in the car,” Nicholas rasped. 

Vash lifted his head, a newfound look of determination coming over his face. He gave a resolute nod as he wiped his eyes, lifting Nicholas into his arms in a bridal carry. Nicholas winced, his head jostling painfully against Vash’s chest as Vash ran down to the car. 

“Hey, Spikey,” Nicholas said, lightly slapping Vash’s chest. 

Vash didn’t look at him, too preoccupied with exiting the ship while keeping Nicholas alive. “What?” 

“You guys never paid me.” 

When Nicholas awoke, he was in a bedroom. 

He sat up, his bare feet jolting at the feeling of the cold floor. The room was pretty barren; white walls, white floors, white sheets. The only spot of color was a vase of red geraniums next to Nicholas’s bed. 

He stood up, poking his head out of the bedroom. He walked down the hallway, his fingers trailing on the wall.  

There was a kitchen and a dining room to the right of the hallway, with a small living room to the left. There were paintings of Earth on the pristine walls, and more geraniums were settled sporadically around the apartment. The Punisher was leaning against one of the couches, where a pile of blankets had haphazardly been folded. There was a forgotten pillow on the ground, and Vash’s red jacket was lovingly draped over a chair with his boots tossed next to the door. 

He was at Vash’s Home ship, then. Nicholas sighed in relief, the stress in his body immediately dissipating as he recognized his surroundings. 

He stretched his arms above his head with a satisfied groan. His shoulder blade where he got shot was sore, but seemed fine otherwise. He lifted up his shirt—a white one he didn’t recognize—and examined the bullet wound over his heart. It was just a fresh scar now, starkly pink against his olive skin. 

Nicholas was poking at the scar when the door to the bathroom clicked open. Vash stepped out with a heavy sigh, a towel draped around his shoulders to catch water droplets from his hair. His shoulders were stiff and his eyes were red—most likely from Vash refusing to care for himself. 

Nicholas made awkward eye contact with Vash, his shirt still raised over his chest. He frowned with a deep blush, hastily pulling his shirt down. 

Vash blinked at Nicholas, clearly not expecting to see Nicholas awake and out of bed—or with his tits on full display. His face broke into a genuine smile, his shoulders relaxing as if seeing Nicholas was enough to drain all the worry and tension from his body. 

“You’re awake,” Vash said, his voice light with relief. “I take it you’re feeling okay since you’re out of bed?” 

“Sure,” Nicholas said gruffly, instinctively trying to hide behind his glasses before realizing they weren’t on his face. He frowned, shoving his hands into the pockets of his white linen pants. “What are you doing here?” 

“Ah,” Vash said, picking up the pillow from the floor. He carefully dusted it off, as if he wanted to give himself something other than Nicholas to focus on. “I was… just checking up on you.” 

Nicholas glanced at the pillows and blankets on the couch. “Have you been sleeping here?” 

Vash flushed, rubbing the back of his neck as he gave Nicholas an embarrassed smile. “I just didn’t want you to wake up with no one around, is all,” he said, his cheeks dark red. “Someone had to be here just in case, right?” 

Nicholas raised an eyebrow skeptically. “Right,” he repeated. “Why didn’t you just stick me in the hospital wing?” 

Vash’s flush grew impossibly deeper. “I didn’t want you to wake up in there,” he said awkwardly. “In case no one was around.”

Nicholas frowned, a warm and comfortable feeling pouring over his senses. Nicholas was pretty tight lipped about his experiences at the hospital with Conrad, but his hatred for medical settings must’ve been obvious to someone like Vash. “Thanks,” he mumbled. 

Vash smiled, throwing himself onto the couch with a playful groan. Nicholas stared at the column of Vash’s throat, his eyes tracing the lines of his Adam’s apple. 

“You were out for eight days,” Vash laughed. “I was starting to think you’d never wake up!” 

His tone was lighthearted and his eyes were crinkled with his smile, but it was obvious that it was a ruse and the whole situation affected Vash more than he was letting on.  

“You’ll have to try harder than that to get rid of me, Spikey,” Nicholas said, his tongue carrying the heavy weight of his nerves as he struggled to comfort Vash given the nature of their relationship. 

Vash chuckled, turning his head so he could look at Nicholas. There was a disgustingly sweet smile on his face, and Nicholas looked away with a frustrated scowl. 

“How’d you get me back here, anyway?” Nicholas asked. 

Vash shrugged. “I carried you, remember? You’re really heavy.” 

Nicholas narrowed his eyes at Vash, his nose scrunching up. “I meant the vials, dumbass,” he said, pinching his nose. “Last I remember, I died. And where the fuck are my glasses?” 

“Oh!” Vash said, startling with a blush. “Um… I gave you CPR with your medicine then brought you back here.” 

Nicholas’s lip curled, the image of Vash transferring his medicine to him via mouth to mouth making his heart race in both disgust and excitement. Who would’ve guessed that their first kiss would happen like that? 

“That’s disgusting,” Nicholas said. “Why couldn’t you just pour the medicine into my mouth?” 

Vash blushed, covering his face in embarrassment. “I couldn’t be certain you would swallow it if I did that!” 

“So you spit in my mouth?! You should’ve just let me die!” 

Vash flapped his hand around dismissively. “Enough!” he said, his face and ears still violently red. “Did you know you had twenty-seven bullets inside of you? The doctor took them all out.” 

“Don’t try and change the subject,” Nicholas grumbled, ignoring the fact that there were twenty-seven bullets in him—he’d deal with that information another day. “You spit in my mouth. That’s horrendous. And where the fuck are my glasses?” 

“Here,” Vash said, handing Nicholas his glasses. “You can borrow mine. We lost yours on the ship.”

Nicholas wrinkled his nose at the glasses, tentatively taking them from Vash. He flipped them over to examine them, slowly sliding them onto his nose. The pink hue paired with his poor eyesight distorted Vash in front of him, and he almost missed the way Vash’s eyes widened as his tongue darted out to lick his lips. 

Nicholas handed Vash back the glasses. “They’re not my prescription.” 

Vash took them, a shocked look on his face. “You wear prescription glasses?” 

“Obviously!” Nicholas snapped. “Why else would I wear them all the fucking time?” 

“I don’t know!” Vash said. “They’re sunglasses! For the sun! I thought you were just being a douchebag when you wore them inside!” 

Nicholas growled, grabbing the pillow off the couch and throwing it at Vash’s head. Vash allowed himself to be hit with a squeal, his laughter filling the apartment. Nicholas couldn’t help but laugh too, ducking his head to hide his smile. 

This was… nice. This was exactly what Nicholas had been yearning for for years; a sense of domesticity, a sense of family and love. It was a shame it was here with Vash, who didn’t care for Nicholas as anything more than a friend—if Vash even saw Nicholas as a friend and not one of his projects that needed to be saved. 

Nicholas coughed, his face and mood falling within seconds. “I’m, uh… I’m gonna go back to bed. Thanks for checking in.” 

“Wait!” Vash said, discarding the pillow on the floor once again. He looks nervous, his fingers fiddling with each other. “I… can we talk?” 

Nicholas stiffened, his muscles tightening in defense. “About what?” he asked, voice gruff as he avoided Vash’s gaze. 

Vash gave a sad sort of smile, fidgeting with his hands. “Do you want to go for a walk?” 

“Why the fuck would I want to go for a walk?” Nicholas asked. 

Vash smiled nervously. He walked over his red coat hanging on the chair, pulling a new pack of cigarettes out of the pocket. “No smoking on the ship, remember?” 

The bastard. Of course he knew exactly how to get Nicholas to do his bidding. 

Thirty minutes later, Nicholas and Vash sat on the roof of the ship overlooking the sunset. Vash sat with his arms behind him with support, his feet gently rocking back and forth. Nicholas’s eyes shifted between Vash and the sunset, an ever growing pile of cigarette butts sitting between them. 

“Look,” Vash started, staring resolutely at the sunset. He was biting his lip, his brows lowered over his eyes. “I’m… I’m really sorry. About everything.” 

Nicholas looked at him through the side of his eye, blowing smoke out of his mouth. He didn’t say anything, hoping it would prompt Vash to continue. 

Vash covered his face with his hands as he laughed, though it sounded all wrong—stretched thin in all the wrong places. “Fuck,” he said. “I thought you died, you know? I’ve never been so terrified in my life.” 

Nicholas quietly lit another cigarette, flicking his lighter to keep his hands busy. “Sorry.” 

“What are you apologizing for?” Vash said, shifting his body so he was facing Nicholas. “It was my fault.” 

Nicholas scoffed. “What? Spikey, it wasn’t your fault. You didn’t shoot me.” 

“I know that,” Vash said. “But I might as well have, right? I brought you to that ship. It was my bounty that almost got you killed.” 

“Stop,” Nicholas said, holding up his hand to shut Vash up. “If this is what you brought me out here to talk about, I don’t want to hear it. I’m tired of your guilt complex.” 

Vash drew his knees up to his chest, hiding his face in them. “That’s not what I wanted to tell you,” he said, his voice muffled. “I just—I miss you, Nick. I miss you so much I don’t know what to do. I know you’re done with me, and I really should just accept that, but I can’t.” 

Nicholas stubbed out his cigarette as he barked out a laugh, making Vash flinch. “Me done with you?” he said. “I recall that conversation going a lot differently, Spikey! From what I remember, you broke up with me!” 

“I’m sorry!” Vash cried. “I know that I fucked up, okay? If I could take it all back, I would! You just—you wouldn’t want to see me or touch me, okay? You wouldn’t like me!” 

“Are you fucking stupid?!” Nicholas said, throwing a cigarette butt at Vash’s forehead. “How can you speak for me and what I’d want, huh?! I’ve seen you shirtless! Did I react so badly that I made you think you’re hideous? Do you see my naked body and think I’m hideous?”

“No!” Vash shouted, batting the cigarette away. “Of course not! You’re not hideous, Nicholas!” 

“Yeah? Well, you make me feel hideous,” Nicholas angrily admitted. “You make me feel like I’m not worth loving. I’m not going to fuck around with someone who is ashamed of loving me.” 

Vash’s lower lip trembled, his eyelashes wet with tears. Nicholas knew Vash wouldn’t cry, though—Vash never cried. Not when he watched friends and loved ones die, not when he got shot, and certainly not because of Nicholas. 

“I’m sorry,” Vash said, his eyes wide and watery. “I’m not ashamed of you, Nick. I could never be ashamed of you. I just—I know it’s no excuse for my actions, but I’m worried that you’ll be ashamed of me.” 

Nicholas threw his cigarette off the edge of the ship in frustration. “Whatever, Vash. I’m obviously not cut out to play your games. I’m tired, you know?” 

“Of me?” Vash sniffled. 

Nicholas gave Vash a long, hard look. His eyes trailed over the ridge of Vash’s eyebrows, his cheekbones, his lips. Vash’s eyes were wide and glowing under his pink glasses, bright enough that Nicholas could see the vast blueness of Vash’s eyes even through the rosy hues. Vash’s cheeks were red and his freckles golden, and the softening light of the sun traced his jawline and the tufts of his hair. Vash looked angelic—there was no other way to describe it—and Nicholas sighed as he fiddled with his crucifix. 

“No,” Nicholas said. “Not really. I’m just… I’m tired of the fact that you deny yourself everything as some sort of punishment. You won’t let yourself have any form of love because you don’t deserve it. You won’t let yourself cry because you think you don’t deserve it. Even now you’re not letting yourself cry… don’t you ever stop to consider how this act affects others, Vash? Don’t you ever think about how you’re only hurting others by punishing yourself?” 

Vash’s eyes widened imperceptibly, his expression going slack. “I…” 

“The fact that I’m not even worth the tears to you now is telling enough how you really feel about me,” Nicholas muttered, his eyes stinging and throat aching. “I deserve better, you know? Believe it or not, I deserve better.” 

Vash blinked rapidly, tears threatening to slip past his eyelids. “I’m sorry,” Vash said, his voice soft. “I care about you, Nick, I really do. You’re worth every emotion I feel. You’re worth the tears and the love and everything else.” 

“How can I believe that when you don’t do anything to prove it?” Nicholas asked, turning his head away from Vash so Vash couldn’t see his own watery eyes. 

Vash gave a choked laugh. “I thought I was doing the right thing by keeping my distance,” he said, taking off his glasses and setting them to the side with a shuddering breath. “I thought that if I didn’t show how much I cared about you, then I could keep you out of danger. Everyone I love dies, you know? I thought loving you was my punishment for all the deaths I’ve caused because you’d just die, too. I thought… maybe if I pretended like I didn’t love you, then you’d be safe, you know? Look how that turned out. I’m a curse, Nicholas. I know I’m being selfish and I should just let you go if I want you to be safe, but I can’t. I want to be selfish just this once.” 

Nicholas, turned to look at Vash in surprise, his heartbeat picking up. “Vash….” 

Vash laughed, tears finally— finally— escaping his eyes. “You make me feel like I deserve to be loved, Nicholas. I feel awful that I make you feel like you don’t,” he said, wiping away his tears with a broken smile.

“Why were you so adamant on keeping all these rules, then?” Nicholas asked. “Why wouldn’t you let yourself be loved?” 

“Because I’m terrified of losing you,” Vash said, his shoulders shaking. “When that guy shot you, I was so mad. I thought about killing him, Nick. If you hadn’t, I would’ve. What if you see how messed up I really am and decide you don’t want me anymore?” 

“Needle Noggin, that won’t happen,” Nicholas said, scooting closer to Vash. He tentatively placed his hand on Vash’s knee, who leaned into the touch instead of darting away from it for once. “I’m just as messed up as you, y’know. I'd be a hypocrite if that was where I drew the line.” 

“I just can’t handle the possibility, Nick,” Vash said with a sniffle, taking Nicholas’s calmness as an invitation to move closer. He scooted himself next to Nicholas, resting his head on Nicholas’s shoulder. “I’m so in love with you that sometimes I can’t think of anything other than you and that scares me. What am I supposed to do if you decide you want nothing to do with me? What am I supposed to do without you?”

Nicholas felt like sobbing. His chest was caving in, his heart beating so fast he couldn’t hear anything over the blood rushing in his ears. “You don’t have to worry about me going anywhere, Spikey. If anything, now you should be worrying about getting rid of me.” 

Vash laughed, his body shaking against Nicholas’s. “Does this mean we’re okay now?” Vash asked. “You’re not mad at me anymore?” 

Nicholas sighed, letting himself drape an arm over Vash’s shoulder. “No, I’m not mad.” 

Vash nuzzled closer to Nicholas. “And you’re my boyfriend now?” 

“Boyfriend?” Nicholas mused. He tilted his head, rolling the word boyfriend around inside his mind. It was never a term Nicholas had ever thought about in regards to himself. “I don’t know if that term suits me.” 

“I can call you my husband instead, if you’d like.” 

Nicholas couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled up out of him, shoving Vash away from him. “Go away!”

Vash laughed, the sound high pitched and real for once. He folded himself against Nicholas’s side, his glass arm wrapping around Nicholas’s waist as he grabbed Nicholas’s right arm to drape it around his shoulders. “I think you’re going to be a great boyfriend,” Vash said. 

Nicholas blushed, hoping Vash couldn’t feel the sweat gathering on his palms. “Uh, yeah. You too.” 

Vash snorted. “I’m really glad you don’t hate me even though I was so mean to you,” he said. “I thought you’d never want me after I let you leave.” 

Nicholas frowned. “I’m still mad about that,” he said, lightly shoving Vash. “But not anything else.” 

Vash sighed, his hands tightening around Nicholas like he was afraid to let go. They sat and watched the sun go over the horizon, stars starting to shine in the night sky. 

“Nick,” Vash whispered once the air was starting to get cold, “I really want to kiss you.” 

Nicholas snapped to attention, Vash’s statement forcing him out of the soft sleep-like state he was falling into. “I’m not kissing you out here,” he said, licking his lips nervously. “Anyone could see. Have some shame.”

Vash pulled away from Nicholas, though he was careful not to break contact. He tilted his head with a sultry smile, blinking up at Nicholas. “Guess we should go back inside then, huh?” 

Vash’s talent to make Nicholas horny in any given situation was impeccable.

Nicholas gave a sharp nod, his eyes wide and a blush spreading over his cheeks and ears. Heat shot down his spine to pool between his hips, and Nicholas stood up to follow Vash. 

He and Vash walked back to their apartment together, a respectable distance between them. The walk back was tense, the air between them so electrically charged it was almost tangible. Nicholas kept sneaking glances at Vash, his fingers itching for a cigarette. 

Vash kept pausing to chat with other residents of the ship while Nicholas irritably waited on standby. Vash was too polite to tell them to leave him alone, but Nicholas could start to see the lines of irritation in his jaw. Nicholas pulled Vash away with a scowl, dragging him down the hallways. 

It seemed like years before they were back at the apartment. Nicholas had barely walked through the door before Vash was slamming him into the wall, his breath punching out of his lungs. Nicholas didn’t have any time to be confused about the action, Vash’s mouth pressing against his in an instant. 

“I’ve wanted this for so long,” Vash mumbled into Nicholas’s mouth, his tongue forcing its way into his mouth. “I’d smoke your cigarettes and drink your whiskey just to see what you’d taste like.” 

Nicholas gasped, struggling to breathe against Vash’s mouth. He could barely even comprehend that he was being kissed right now, his lips struggling to return the gesture. Vash sucked on his tongue and lips, his sharp fangs dragging over Nicholas’s bottom lip. 

“Vash,” Nicholas gasped, his hands squeezing Vash’s shoulders. 

Vash frowned against Nicholas’s lips, pulling away after a second. Nicholas’s lips were throbbing, and when Nicholas touched his lips, a spot of blood came away on his fingers. 

“You okay?” Vash asked, gently licking the blood off Nicholas’s lips. 

Nicholas nodded. “Yes,” he said, taking a deep breath. “Just… I’ve never kissed anyone before.” 

Vash stilled, his chest pressed to Nicholas’s. He was caging Nicholas in, each hand planted on either side of Nicholas’s head. “Oh,” he said, and it almost sounded like he was purring. “Want me to go slower?” 

Nicholas nodded again. “Yeah,” he breathed. 

Vash’s hands dropped to Nicholas’s waist, his organic hand pressing against Nicholas’s cock before he grabbed Nicholas’s thigh and hoisted it up over his waist. He softly pressed his lips to Nicholas’s, his glass hand cupping Nicholas’s jaw to tilt his head. 

“That’s it, baby,” Vash murmured, his hand squeezing Nicholas’s thigh. 

Nicholas’s brain was too fogged up to reply. He slid his hand into Vash’s hair, tugging on the soft strands. His cock was aching inside his linen pants—he’d never been so turned on in his life, and it was pathetic that he was reduced to such a mess just because Vash was finally paying attention to him. 

Vash grabbed Nicholas’s other thigh and lifted it over his waist, holding Nicholas against the wall. He pressed their hips together, and Nicholas could feel Vash’s boner pressing against his for the very first time. He moaned as his cock jerked in his pants, his head slamming backwards into the wall. 

“Nick,” Vash said, nipping at Nicholas’s jaw. “I have to warn you… my body isn’t, ah, like yours.” 

“I know,” Nicholas said, tugging Vash’s head back so he could shove his tongue into Vash’s mouth. “I’ve seen you, remember?” 

“Not… like that,” Vash said, his body rolling into Nicholas’s. 

“…What do you mean?” 

Vash pulled away, and Nicholas saw what Vash really meant. His eyes were glowing a vibrant blue, the Plant markings in his eyes replacing his pupils. His hair was glowing at the roots, and the intricate patterns of his Plant markings glowed across every inch of his exposed skin. 

“This is what you were so afraid of me seeing?” Nicholas breathily asked, lightly tracing the markings on Vash’s jaw in awe. 

Vash took a deep breath, his eyebrows furrowing as he nodded. 

Nicholas grabbed Vash’s jaw and pulled him in for a bruising kiss, Vash’s sharp canines digging into Nicholas’s lip. “You’re beautiful, Vash.” 

Vash whined into Nicholas’s mouth, eagerly returning the kiss as he grabbed Nicholas’s ass. Vash casually picked Nicholas up like he weighed nothing, carrying him to the bedroom without breaking their kiss. He threw Nicholas onto the bed, immediately moving to straddle Nicholas. He slid his hands up Nicholas’s shirt, grabbing fistfuls of Nicolas’s tits. He bit bleeding marks into Nichol as’s throat, grinding their hips together. 

Nicholas gasped, his back arching as he pressed his chest into Vash’s. His hands darted around the bed, attempting to find something to grab onto. Vash pulled his hands out of Nicholas’s shirt, grabbing Nicholas’s hands to place them on his waist. 

“Here,” Vash said. “Touch me.” 

“Vash, Vash,” Nicholas moaned, squeezing Vash’s tiny waist so hard he hoped it would bruise. “You’re so gorgeous, baby.” 

Vash sat up, pulling his shirt off in one swift movement before discarding it on the floor carelessly. His entire torso was glowing with intricate markings, even the gnarled scars that covered his body—he was a work of art, like something that belonged in the night sky or in Heaven. The way his hair was glowing made it look like God had bestowed him with a halo, and Nicholas could do nothing but stare in awe. 

“Still think I’m gorgeous?” Vash teased with a coy smile, but Nicholas could see the insecurity hiding under his expression. 

“Absolutely,” Nicholas said without hesitation. “You’re the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen.” 

Vash’s face twisted into an unreadable expression, and he leaned down to kiss Nicholas. It was tender and full of so much emotion that Nicholas was easily able to get the intent behind it, and he pulled Vash closer by the back of his neck. 

Vash ripped Nicholas’s shirt in half, ignoring Nicholas’s yelps as he tore it off. He leaned down and sucked on Nicholas’s right nipple, his organic hand kneading Nicholas’s left tit until his chest was red and swollen. Nicholas threw an arm over his eyes as he shuddered and moaned, the other arm resting over Vash’s shoulders. 

“Nick,” Vash said, pulling away from Nicholas’s chest once both nipples were thoroughly abused. His eyes were heavy lidded, his lips swollen with saliva collecting them to Nicholas’s chest. “Can I give you head?” 

Nicholas blushed, his eyes going wide as he blinked himself back to reality. “W-what?”

Vash’s expression turned confused, and he tilted his head as he bit Nicholas’s chest. He moved further down, biting the drawstring of Nicholas’s linen pants. “You don’t know what head is?”

“Of course I know what head is!” Nicholas said, resisting the urge to pettily kick Vash away. “Just… why would you want to?”

“You taste so good,” Vash said, nuzzling Nicholas’s hips. “I want to taste the rest of you.”

Nicholas took a deep breath, the muscles of his stomach rippling as Vash’s hand slid over his abdomen. “Okay,” he murmured, “only if you want to.” 

Vash purred again, ripping Nicholas’s pants off in one go. 

“Will you stop doing that!” Nicholas shrieked. “Those were my new clothes!” 

Vash shrugged noncommittally. “We have more,” he said, tearing off Nicholas’s boxers despite Nicholas’s protests. 

Now free of any constraints, Nicholas’s hard cock bounced against his stomach. Pre-cum dribbled down the length of it, and Nicholas instinctively tried to close his legs to hide himself. He’d never really been ashamed of his body or how he looked, but he’d never actually seen Vash’s reaction to his body.

“Don’t do that,” Vash said, forcing Nicholas’s thighs open and putting him on full display. He had tossed his sunglasses off to the side at some point after entering the bedroom, and his eyes— wow. 

Nicholas couldn’t breathe. Vash’s eyes were entirely pupil, the Plant markings glowing from deep within them. His whole body seemed to be going through changes with his arousal, his markings glowing and covering his entire body. Even his fangs had grown since they entered the bedroom—they were long and thin, like a cat’s. 

“Vash,” Nicholas moaned. “You’re so perfect.” 

Vash grinned, his fangs digging into his bottom lip. He licked a long stripe up the underside of Nicholas’s cock, his glass hand keeping Nicholas’s hips pinned to the sheets as Nicholas’s hips bucked up. He sucked at the head of Nicholas’s cock, his tongue vibrating against the crown of his cock and sending shivers up and down Nicholas’s spine. 

“Vash,” he groaned, head thrown back against the sheets. “I’m going to cum if you keep that up.” 

Vash hummed, swallowing Nicholas’s cock as far as he could take it. He wrapped his fingers around what was left at the base of Nicholas’s cock, bobbing his head and twisting his hands and tongue around Nicholas’s cock. 

Nicholas bit his hand, tears collecting at the edges of his eyes as his other head flew down to tightly grab Vash’s hair. Vash purred again, pressing his head into Nicholas’s hand. The vibrations of Vash’s purring on Nicholas’s cock was enough to send him over the edge, and he came into Vash’s mouth with a strangled moan. 

Vash pulled off with a wet pop, licking all the excess cum off Nicholas’s cock. He crawled up to give Nicholas a kiss, who eagerly met him with a hand placed on the back of his neck. 

“I love you,” Nicholas whispered into Vash’s mouth. 

Vash froze against him before he was pulling away, hastily pulling his own pants off. “Nick, Nicholas,” he babbled, “I want to fuck you. Can I please fuck you?” 

Nicholas’s cock jerked, already half-hard again. “Yeah, yeah,” he said, automatically turning to lay on his stomach as Vash went to collect the lube. 

“No,” Vash said, turning Nicholas back around. He was kneeling between Nicholas’s thighs, his cock bobbing against his stomach. It was glowing, too, an angry red and blue. The glowing Plant markings were pulsating around his cock, the glow brightening and dimming with Vash’s pulse. 

Vash poured a generous amount of lube on his organic hand, waiting for it to warm up before his fingers were tracing Nicholas’s hole. He gently pressed his index finger in, and Nicholas let out a shuddering breath as he forced his body to relax. He’d done this part a million times by now—it was easy to get used to. 

“Nick,” Vash said, his voice light and breathy. “I—“ he stopped, licking his lips as he tried to find the right words to say. “I’m sorry. I love you.”

“I know, baby,” Nicholas said. He lifted his hips, pressing his ass to Vash’s fingers. “I know.” 

Vash leaned up kiss Nicholas long and hard, his hand bent at an awkward angle as he kissed Nicholas and fingered him open. Usually Vash got this part over with fast, not wasting any time to prepare Nicholas and stretch him open. Now, though, he was painfully taking his time. He had three fingers inside of Nicholas, his fingers curling and rubbing against Nicholas’s prostate. Nicholas was trembling and gasping against Vash’s lips and fingers, his hips twitching and jerking as stinging pleasure shot up his spine. 

“Please just fuck me already,” Nicholas said, nearly sobbing from how good Vash’s fingers felt. 

Vash pulled his fingers out, pouring more lube onto his hand as he slicked up his cock. He lined himself up to Nicholas’s entrance, slowly pushing himself into Nicholas. 

Nicholas gasped as his back arced off the bed, his legs flying up to hook behind Vash’s hips. Vash leaned down to press their foreheads together, slowly fucking into Nicholas. His cock was rubbing deliciously against Nicholas’s prostate with every slow and sweet thrust, and Nicholas knew he wouldn’t last long a second round. 

“You mean everything to me,” Vash whispered in Nicholas’s ear, his thrusts building speed. “You’re so perfect. You’re so beautiful it drives me crazy.”

Nicholas keened, shoving his face into Vash’s shoulder. He bit the flesh there, sucking hickeys all over Vash’s skin. After months of fantasizing of being in this position, he was finally here, and Vash was in love with him and wanted him—

It was overwhelming. Nicholas was struggling to breathe, unable to feel anything other than the pleasure flooding his senses. It was almost like he had been forced from his own mind, watching from above like he had died and was sent to Heaven. 

“Vash,” he moaned, his hole clenching around Vash’s cock. “God.” 

“You can cum again,” Vash said, his hips ramming into Nicholas’s ass. “Come on, baby. Cum for me again.” 

Nicholas wanted to. He wanted to so bad. The pleasure was so intense it was painful, and Nicholas surrendered himself to Vash. He came with a quiet shout, his moans and sobs swallowed by Vash’s mouth. Vash kept fucking him through his orgasm, licking the tears off Nicholas’s cheeks. He came inside of Nicholas after a couple of moments, and Nicholas winced at the feeling of it. 

Vash collapsed on Nicholas afterwards with a heavy sigh, his chest heaving. His markings were starting to fade already, his eyes returning to their usual blue. 

“We need to go get cleaned up,” Vash sleepily murmured, folding himself against Nicholas’s side. 

“Let’s just lay here a little longer,” Nicholas said, draping an arm and a leg over Vash’s body. He could feel both his and Vash’s cum dripping down his body, and it only took Nicholas a couple of seconds before he was so disgusted by it that he decided to get up. 

He disentangled himself from Vash, who yawned and followed him to the bathroom. They climbed into the shower together, Vash massaging Nicholas’s shoulders and thighs under the hot spray. Nicholas did the same for Vash, pressing a kiss to Vash’s forehead. 

Vash sighed contentedly as they got out, his eyes drifting shut. Nicholas grabbed a towel and dried Vash’s hair off, since the idiot never seemed to learn how to do it himself. His fingers traced Vash’s skin, over faint remnants of his plant markings. Vash’s throat and chest were covered in hickeys and his back covered with scratches—it was a good thing Vash wore that dark turtleneck, otherwise there'd be no way he could possibly cover them all up. 

Nicholas wouldn’t be so lucky, though—he looked even worse than Vash. Some bite marks were still oozing little dots of blood from Vash’s teeth, and his entire body was covered in bruises and bites. He could just button up his shirt to cover up all the marks, but that was almost the same as just announcing to the world that he just had sex. 

“Come on,” Nicholas said after he and Vash were both adequately dry and clean, tugging Vash back to the bedroom. 

Vash dutifully followed him, his arm draped around Nicholas’s waist. He tugged the soiled sheets off the bed and tossed them in the corner before replacing them with new sheets, laying down on the clean. He patted the spot next to him with a smile, and Nicholas snorted and laid down next to Vash. 

Nicholas yawned and laid his head on Vash’s chest, careful to avoid the metal parts of his skin since he knew Vash didn’t like to have it touched. He tilted his head, trying to listen to Vash's heartbeat through the metal grate. 

“What are you doing?” Vash drowsily asked, his fingers running through Nicholas’s hair. 

“Trying to see if you have a heartbeat,” Nicholas responded, leaning into Vash’s hand. 

“Oh,” Vash yawned. “Sort of. It’s here,” he grabbed Nicholas’s hand, positioning it in the center of his chest. There, a faint heartbeat lay. “My original heart got shot out of my body, but Plants have more than one heart, so I’m using my reserve heart.” 

Nicholas blinked, his hand rubbing over the spot where Vash’s heart lay. He was both sad and furious over all the pain that Vash had gone through before Nicholas arrived—and even after Nicholas arrived, but there was nothing to be done about that now. Nicholas just pressed a soft kiss to Vash’s heart, settling against Vash’s side with a sigh. 

Vash let out a deep, happy sigh. His glass fingers curled perfectly between Nicholas’s, and Nicholas let himself fall asleep to the sound of Vash’s heartbeat. 

“Why are you dressed like you respect your religion for once?” Meryl asked, giving Nicholas’s new outfit a disgusted look. 

Nicholas ignored her, instead choosing to shove Vash into the sand to bury his laughter.