Chapter Text
This is the story of how Sam Winchester died. Don't worry though, it actually has a happy ending. Most stories begin with Once Upon A Time. But not this one. Because this story is special as it doesn’t start off as a fairy tale. So instead, I will simply say Many Years Ago….
“Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday, dear Sam! Happy birthday to you!” Jess sang loudly as she came in from the kitchen.
Sam Winchester grinned adoringly at his girlfriend as she carried in a large chocolate cake and placed it in front of him. He admired the cake and all the hard work Jess had put into it. There were 18 candles stuck around the edges and the words ‘Happy 18th Birthday, Sam!!!” were spelt out in large, if slightly wobbly, white chocolate writing.
“Make a wish!” Jess exclaimed, clapping excitedly.
Her excitement was infectious as Sam’s mind raced for something good to wish for. Truth be told, he didn’t feel like he needed anything out of life, completely content with everything now. Sam closed his eyes and he frowned slightly, racking his brain.
I wish that I get to spend the rest of my life with my true love.
His eyes opened as he beamed over at Jess. He was so in love with her. What else could ask for in his life apart from his gorgeous, funny, smart brilliant girlfriend to keep loving him?
He turned back to the cake, inhaling deeply, and then blew out the candles in one breath. Jess cheered, jumping up and down on the spot, before slipping onto his lap and pulling him into a short but sweet kiss.
“I love you.” Sam said simply, tucking a stray strand of hair behind Jess’ ear. The corners of her mouth flicked upwards and her eyes seemed to sparkle as she leant in so their noses brushed against each other. “Thank you for everything.”
“I love you too, Sam Winchester. And you don’t need to thank me, it’s your eighteenth! It’s a big deal, Sam!” She jumped off of him and grabbed a knife, beginning to cut the cake.
“Plus, I know your father won’t do anything so I want to try to make this day special.”
Sam’s good mood lowered slightly at the mention of his father. John Winchester certainly wasn’t winning any awards for best father, especially on his birthday.
Still, Sam understood his father’s misery to a certain extent. His birthday would always have a sad undertone weaved in with all the happiness.
“He’s mourning my mother, Jess. It’s fine.” Sam said with a small shrug, managing to keep all emotion out of his voice.
“But it’s not your fault your mother died in childbirth so why should you have to suffer?” Jess exclaimed, frowning deeply and crossing her arms. “It’s been eighteen years, Sam, and he’s never once celebrated your birthday. He’s never even said happy birthday for God’s sake!”
Sam let out a chuckle, shaking his head at his girlfriend’s protective streak, as he reached out and clasped her hands tightly.
“It’s fine, Jess. I don’t care about my father anyway; all I need is you.”
“Sweet talker.” Jess giggled, allowing herself to be pulled onto Sam’s lap. Their lips came together and Sam cradled the back of Jess’ head, sighing contently.
This is what his life was and it couldn’t be better.
~~~~~~~~~~
Sam couldn’t sleep. For all intents and purposes he should be able to; he’d slept over at Jess’ so was snuggled under her soft duvet with her warm body curled up in his arms. Feeling completely comfortable, he should be able to fall asleep.
Yet, his brain wouldn’t shut up as his eyes scanned the ceiling. He glanced down at Jess’ sleeping form and he smiled softly, pressing a kiss to her forehead. She was so beautiful and he still couldn’t believe that she was his.
They’d first met their freshman year of high school and immediately become fast friends. By the time they were juniors, he’d had a full blow crush on her and decided to take a chance and ask her out. For some reason, she’d said yes.
He wasn’t going to complain though, not when he had a brilliant future with a beautiful blonde his side. Next year, they were going to go to Stanford and Sam was going to be a lawyer.
He had always wanted to help the world in some way and so he was going to be a public defender. He’d help those who couldn’t afford to defend themselves.
Yeah, he had a good life ahead of him. There was nothing more he could want.
So why he couldn’t get to sleep? Why did it feel like something was off? He frowned deeply before sitting up and glancing around the room but everything seemed normal.
Shrugging the strange feeling away, he slipped back under the covers, pulling Jess close to him. His eyes fluttered shut and soon he drifted away.
Sam sat down at their usual lunch table and smiled at Jess as she perched herself on the seat in front of him, intertwining their fingers.
He was just about to start eating when a loud slap echoed through the cafeteria. With wide eyes, Sam turned around to see that a cheerleader (he thought she was called Amanda) had slapped one of the guys on the football team.
“You cheated on me! With my best friend! We’re over!” She screamed in his face as tears poured down her face. She growled once more before storming off.
Raising his eyebrows, he took a bite of his sandwich and watched as Brady approached, grinning at both of them. Almost like it was happening in slow motion, Sam watched as Brady’s foot caught on someone’s bag and tripped.
He began to fall over as his try flew in the air and all his food was tossed upwards. Sam’s eyes widened as he began to stand up from the bench.
Sam jerked upwards, his chest heaving as he struggled to control his breathing and his brain burning. Feeling panicked, he ran a hand through his hair and gripped tightly onto the bed, trying to ground himself back to reality.
He was fine. It was just some stupid, random dream. Nothing bad had happened.
Though, it did seem weirdly realistic. Sam frowned as he recalled that it had been like he’d properly been there, not like any other dream he’d had before.
“Sam?” Jess yawned as her eyes opened, slowly stretching out. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. Just a…weird dream.”
And of course, that’s all it was. What else could it possibly be? He smiled over at Jess, trying to reassure her, before sliding out of the bed.
He rubbed his head as he slowly plodded along to the bathroom, wincing at the headache that was still there. He brushed through his hair and leant on the sink, splashing water on his face.
He glanced at the mirror before letting out a yelp and tripping backwards as he looked into his eyes. Frowning, he slowly looked again but everything seemed normal.
He could’ve sworn his eyes were glowing. Sam frowned, staring at his reflection intensely like it held all the answers. He rubbed his eyes and let out a sigh.
He was being ridiculous. Of course, his dream was just a dream. He had a headache because it happens sometimes. His eyes must just have been a trick of the light.
Shrugging it off, he started to get ready for the day. There was no point worrying about something stupid and insignificant when he had to get to school. The real world had come a calling.
“You seem off this morning, you okay?” Jess asked as they stepped out of the door. Their hands naturally came together as they set off to school.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Like I said, just had a weirdly vivid dream. I think it kinda threw me or something. And I got a pretty bad headache.”
“Oh, I got some Paracetamol. You want some, babe?”
“Nah, it’ll pass.”
He smiled at Jess, shrugging slightly. This was his first full day of being an adult and he didn’t want it to be ruined by some weird dream.
His life was still great. He had good grades, he had Stanford and most importantly, he had Jess. He needed to stop worrying about every little detail.
“Oh my god, you’d never believe what Brady did in chemistry the other day!”
Sam watched Jess tell her story with a fond smile. The weight on his shoulders lifted a little, his weird dream already disappearing from his mind.
~~~~~~~
Grinning widely, Sam bounded into the cafeteria. He’d just got a history paper he’d worked really hard on back and sure enough, he’d gotten an A. There was no way Stanford wouldn’t want him.
Sam sat down at their usual lunch table and smiled at Jess as she perched herself on the seat in front of him, intertwining their fingers.
He was just about to start eating when a loud slap echoed through the cafeteria. With wide, disbelieving eyes, Sam turned around to see that a cheerleader had slapped one of the guys on the football team.
And it was Amanda. Just like his dream.
What the fuck?!
Dumfounded, Sam continued to stare at the scene as it played out exactly like it had in his dream. But that wasn’t possible. It didn’t make sense.
His heart pounding, Sam look around, almost hoping that an answer would pop out somewhere and this whole thing could be explained.
“Sam, baby, are you okay?” Jess asked, concerned laced in her voice as she frowned at him.
His head snapped round to face her as he slowly nodded and put on the best smile as he could while he was freaking out internally.
“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. Just wonder what that whole situation’s about!” He exclaimed with fake happiness, taking a bit of his sandwich so he didn’t have to speak anymore. He’d always been a terrible liar.
He noticed Brady approaching, carrying a lunch tray, and his mind flashed back to his dream. His frown deepened and shook his head, wondering what was happening to him.
Brady tripped.
The tray went flying.
And Sam it caught it, the food landing on it a few seconds later.
Inhaling deeply, Sam stared at the tray, astounded by what had just happened. Not knowing what to say, Sam smiled awkwardly and passed it back to Brady.
“Sam! That was amazing! Like something Peter Parker would do. How’d you do it?” Jess asked, completely amazed and grinning at Sam like he was some sort of a hero.
Well, Jess, I dreamt about it last night and now it’s come true.
Yeah right, like he could see that. That was just lead to Jess breaking up with him and a one way ticket to a therapist.
“Just good reflexes, I guess.” Sam muttered with a shrug. He tried to calm his face, so he didn’t worry his friends, and went back to eating his lunch.
Freaking out internally, Sam’s mind raced over what happened. It didn’t make sense. How could something he dreamt come true?
His couldn’t stop his mind to jumping to superpowers. It was like Jess said, what he just did was some Peter Parker shit. It felt like he’d just had some sort of vision.
Pushing those thoughts away, he turned to all the information he knew about dreams. Superpowers weren’t real; they were just something from comic books. He wasn’t crazy and he didn’t want his whole future to be derailed because of one weird dream.
Many thought dreams were just ways of processing things you’d heard and seen during the day. Maybe yesterday he’d overheard the rumour of Amanda being cheated on.
The fact that his dream just happened must be some weird coincidence. It wasn’t like it was a particularly special scene, just random things that often happened in high school.
Feeling comforted, Sam turned his attention back to Jess and squeezed her hand. Her face immediately lit up as her eyes seemed to sparkle.
Sam scoffed internally at his earlier panic. He didn’t need to worry about anything not when he had someone as amazing as Jess.
Everything was going to be fine.
~~~~~~
Sam closed his locker and started to head down the hallway to his next lesson. A few weeks after his birthday and life was good. He was still a straight A student and he still had Jess.
Everything in his life was completely normal and fine. Everything was fine.
He’d still been having disturbingly realistic dreams that came true and some other dreams as well but it was fine. It was probably just stress messing with his head. Everything was fine.
“Hey, Loosechester!”
Sam had to bite back a groan as a rough hand gripped onto his shoulder and spun him around. He was not in the mood for this today.
“What do you want, Dirk?”
“I want to know why you didn’t let me cheat off of you for that history test!” Dirk growled, clenching Sam’s shirt as he glowered menacingly. “Now I’m gonna fail.”
Exhausted and just wanting to collapse into a chair, Sam pulled away from the bully, glaring at him. He wasn’t going to put up with this crap.
“Maybe if you picked up a book once in a while, you wouldn’t. Oh right, you’re too stupid!” Sam yelled, pushing Dirk so he stumbled back slightly.
His face twisted into an angry scowl as his fists clenched and he looked like he wanted to kills Sam. Suddenly regretting everything, Sam held his hands up in surrender but Dirk charged forward, swinging his fist and punching him in the face.
Sam flinched backwards as pain erupted in his eye, falling onto the floor. He moaned as he covered his eye, wincing at how tender it was.
Barking out a laugh, Dirk sneered at Sam and ran at him again, lifting his leg and aiming it at Sam’s head. Panicking, Sam lifted his arms and help them up in front of his face.
He squeezed his eyes shut as he prepared for the pain to arrive, wishing desperately he had a way to stop the bully. But it never came. All he heard was a loud crash as Dirk went flying backwards, his head hitting a locker as he slumped over.
The small crowd that had gathered all began whispering in confused tones, staring at Sam and then over at Dirk. They were all wondering the same thing as Sam- what the fuck had just happened?
Eyebrows furrowed in concern, Sam whimpered slightly as he stared at his hands in disbelief. All he’d done was hold his hands up and then Dirk had been tossed across the hallway.
Terror running through his body, Sam scrambled to stand up as his hands began to shake. His face contorted in confusion as he quickly stormed away, a hand running through his hair.
None of that made sense. And paired with the dreams, Sam was really beginning to think that there was something wrong with him. That he was some whole new level of freak.
If this was some sort of movie or comic book, Sam would be convinced that this was some sort of sign of magic or superpowers. But this was reality! And he had no idea what was happening to him.
All he wanted to be was normal. He just wanted to go to college, get a good job and house, marry his high school sweetheart and then start a big family. Maybe get a dog if he was feeling particularly adventurous.
But crazy, prophetic dreams and weird scenarios that felt like telekinesis didn’t happen to normal people!
Leaning against a locker, he focused on slowing his breathing, reminding himself that he was okay and was getting worked up over nothing. Of course he wasn’t a prophet. Of course he didn’t have telekinesis! That was a ridiculous idea! And one that would get him locked up indefinitely.
They were just coincidences. His dreams were probably being influenced by his already quite similar day to day life and maybe the floor was wet where Dirk fell. Yeah, that made sense.
Shaking his head at his stupidity, Sam grinned to himself and pulled his rucksack up, continuing to head till his next lesson.
Everything was going to be fine. It had to be.
~~~~~~
“I’m gonna kill that, dick!” Dean yelled furiously as he paced along Sam’s room. “I’m gonna rip his lungs out!”
Sam sighed, resisting the urge to roll his eyes at his brother, as he readjusted the ice pack he was holding up to his face. He knew Dean just cared about him but the overly protective act was just plain annoying.
“It’s fine, Dean. It’s not that big of a deal.” Sam mumbled with a shrug. Dean stopped pacing and turned around to face his brother, staring at Sam like he was crazy.
“Not that big of a deal? Not that big of a deal?! Have you seen your eye, Sammy!?”
“No, I know but he got pretty beat up too.” Sam exclaimed, desperately trying to persuade Dean that everything was okay. He did not want Dean to cause a scene tomorrow at school. It would just end up with Sam being in even more shit.
Dean let out a chuckle at that, some of the tension draining out of his body. He smirked proudly at Sam and patted him on the back, settling down next to him on the bed.
“Yeah, I heard about that. Good job, I’m very proud.” Dean grinned, clasping Dean’s shoulder. Sam shrugged him off and hunched in on himself more. He did not need a reminder of what happened earlier nor given responsibility for it.
Really, he wanted to completely forget about it and pretend that it never, ever happened.
“Oh, come on! Don’t get all high and mighty about how you shouldn’t hurt anyone because it’s wrong!” Dean mocked in a high-pitched voice, doing a terrible impression of Sam.
He did roll his singular, working eye that time as he kicked his brother’s shin. He crossed his arms and sighed, twisting his body round and leaning back against his headboard.
“I’m still going to kick Dirk’s ass though.” Dean snarled, shaking his head. “No one hurts my baby brother and gets away with it.”
Scoffing, Sam could barely contain his annoyance as he pushed himself off the bed. He had already had a terrible day and he didn’t need Dean poking in his life just because Dean still saw him as the little kid he had had to raise.
“No Dean, you’re not going to!”
“Of course, I am!” Dean yelled back, his face pinched with frustration.
“No!”
“Why not?!”
“Because I said so!” Sam exclaimed angrily, clenching his fists. “This is my life, Dean! I don’t need you messing it up just because you can’t get over the fact that I’m my own person. I’m an adult, Dean! I don’t need your protection! I don’t need you!”
Dean’s face crumpled as he shook his head at his brother and slowly began to back out of the room.
“Fine! Sorry for trying to be a good older brother!” Dean growled as he slammed the door behind him.
Sam squeezed his eyes shut as he cursed himself for saying something so cruel. He was just so tired and fed up with life that he had taken it out on his brother. But Dean didn’t deserve that, not when he’d always looked after Sam.
Livid with himself, Sam threaded his fingers through his hair and then slammed his fists down by his side. He flinched as a loud, shattering sound exploded across his room.
His face contorted into a bewildered expression and tears sprang to his eyes as he stared at what had happened. Somehow his glass on his desk had ending up hitting the wall on the other side of the room.
Feeling like he was going insane, Sam collapsed on his bed, pulling at his hair. He slowly began to sob as worlds like schizophrenia, bipolar disease and borderline personality disease ran through his head, screaming and taunting him. He’d read that they all involved hallucinations.
What else could possibly explain what was happening to him? There was no way it was actually happening so it just must be something wrong with him.
His dreams of Stanford, of being a lawyer, of having normal life felt like they were slipping through his fingers like sand. His future with Jess completely disappearing.
Oh god, how would Jess react? He pictured her shocked, slightly disgusted face as she slowly backed away from him. He knew his life was too good to last.
He couldn't loose his perfect life. He couldn’t loose Jess. He’d just have to hide and pretend this all wasn’t happening to him. Maybe then he’d be okay.
Inhaling deeply, he wiped his eyes as he tried to shake away his fear and panic as much as he could. Needing to be doing something, he grabbed his bag and decided to get on with his homework. Maybe if he acted like everything was normal then it would all stop.
Everything was going to be fine. Right?
~~~~~~
It turned out everything wasn’t fine. Two months had passed since the first incident and things just seemed to be getting worse and worse.
More dreams. More things moving with a flick of his hands. He’d even began to sense people entering the room before they even did.
He was a freak. A broken freak.
He didn’t need how long he could keep up the front that everything was okay. But he didn’t want to spend the rest of his life behind padded walls.
He just didn’t understand why this was happening to him. He didn’t understand what he’d done to deserve it. He’d always tried to be a good person and work hard throughout his life and even though he would never tell Dean, he believed in God and heaven and prayed occasionally.
But this whole nightmare felt like torture straight from hell. It wasn’t fair that this was happening to him. Not when he’d been so close to his dreams.
Completely drained, he slowly lowered his head into his hands. He hadn’t got more than 4 hours of sleep for over a month due to the dreams getting more vivid and disturbing.
He didn’t even want to think about some of the things he’d been seeing or he might break down into tears.
“Sam! I’m done in the bathroom!”
Jess walked into the room and it felt like his heart was breaking as he saw her confusion and fear spread over her face. He couldn’t stand it as he slipped his head back into his hands.
So this was it. The moment had finally come. The moment where he couldn’t hide anymore. The moment where Jess broke up with him and everything he’d ever worked for disappeared.
“Sam?” She whispered, tentatively walking towards him. “What’s wrong, baby?”
The bed dipped as she sat down next to him, placing a comforting hand on his back. He couldn’t help but lean into her warm, loving touch. He shook his head as his breath stuttered. He fight the urge to start crying, biting on his lip.
“C’mon Sam, you know you can talk to me about anything.”
He barked out a laugh at that, imagining what her reaction would be if he did tell her the truth, and soon found he couldn’t stop laughing, his body shaking under all the stress he’d been under.
Jess whimpered painfully as she kneeled in front of him, holding his face tenderly. Concern was obvious in her eyes as she smiled at him supportively.
He wanted to tell her so desperately. He had had enough of keeping this all in. It was driving him insane.
“I think there’s something wrong with me.” He croaked as tears began to slip down his cheeks. Jess frowned anxiously, wiping away his tears. “My dreams have been coming true and stuff’s been moving across the room without me even touching and I just feel like I’ve got this sixth sense.”
Jess’ eyes widened in surprise as her hands and curled into fists, almost flinching away from him. All his worst fears coming true, Sam choked out a sob and hung his head in shame.
He was an idiot for ever thinking Jess wouldn’t care. That she would somehow accept how broken and fucked up he was.
His chin was slowly lifted up and was met with the sight of Jess’ reassuring smile. His eyes widened in surprise as the corners of his mouth lifted upwards slightly.
“It’s okay, Sam. You’re okay.” Jess said soothingly, stroking his cheek.
“What do you think is wrong with me?”
“Sweetheart, there’s nothing wrong with you. You’ve been under a lot of stress recently and you’ve hardly been sleeping and that can mess with your head. Nothing is wrong with you, okay?”
Sam glanced away at the floor, refusing to meet Jess’ fierce gaze. He couldn’t bring himself to believe her, still feeling like there was something wrong with him.
“Okay?” She repeated demandingly. Sam couldn’t stop the laugh that escaped his lips as he brought his eyes up to Jess’.
“Okay.” He replied with a small nod.
She smiled supportively at him, lifting herself up and sitting beside him again. Wrapping an arm around his waist, she pulled him back as they both laid down on the bed. Snuggling into his side, Sam slid his arm around her shoulders and kissed her forehead.
“We’ll be okay. We’ll get you some help. We’ll try to spend more time to relax. Everything’s going to be fine, Sam.”
For the first time since this whole mess started, Sam truly believed those worlds. Letting the tension that had been building in him go, Sam closed his eyes and sighed in relief.
He was the luckiest man in the world. Jess was the most incredible girlfriend a man could wish for. This had been slowly eating away inside him for months and with only a few words, she made it seem like nothing.
Lots of people suffered from stress. Lots of people went to therapy. Sam could fix this problem. They would deal with it together.
And then there was Stanford and their shining future ahead of them.
“I love you, Jess. So much.”
“I love you too. Now, get some sleep, Sam.”
He laid in bed, feeling calm for the first time in months, with Jess in his arms. She ran her fingers through his hair until they both fell asleep.
They were going to be fine. Everything was going to be fine.
~~~~~~
Sam’s eyes slowly fluttered open as he stretched out. He glanced over at Jess, as memories of what happened earlier came flooding back, and pressed a kiss to her forehead.
She shifted slightly, a smile coming to her face. Gratitude and love washed over him as he stared at his beautiful girlfriend.
Slipping out of bed, he glanced at her once more before slowly plodding towards the kitchen, desperate for a drink.
After pouring himself a glass of water, he leaned against the counter, running his fingers through his hair.
He frowned slightly as his heart suddenly began to pound. Glancing around, a bad feeling settled into his stomach. He couldn’t help but feel like something awful about to happen.
His chest tightened painfully as he froze in fear, horrible images from his dreams flooding back. All thoughts on Jess, he raced up the stairs and burst into the room, praying to see her beautiful face.
Pain spreading over his heart, Sam choked back a sob, hands gripping onto his hair, as he saw the empty bed. What if…?
But no, that was a ridiculous thought. That sort of thing didn’t just happen. His anxiety slowly subsidised as he repeated what Jess had said earlier in his head. All those dreams were just the result of his stress. They weren’t real. Everything was going to be fine. Jess must be in the bathroom.
Nearly laughing at his foolishness, Sam slipped back into bed and closed his eyes, waiting for Jess to return.
Something wet landed on his forehead.
He frowned.
Another drop landed on his forehead.
His eyes opened.
“Jess! No!”
Pulled up on the ceiling by some invisible force, Jess’ stomach had been cut open, bleeding profusely, as her limbs were pulled in unnatural directions. Her face was frozen into a mask of horror and pain, mouth wide open in a scream.
The whole ceiling burst into fire, grabbing a hold of Jess and Sam began to scream until his throat was raw.
Howling in pain, tears streamed in face as he watched Jess go up in flames; their whole future destroyed in one inhumane act.
It couldn’t be happening. It wasn’t real. He couldn’t lose Jess!
She was everything to him. She was the thing that kept him going in the morning. She wasn’t the fucking love of his life.
It had to be a nightmare, another of his twisted dreams. But as his heart began to break into two, he slowly realised it wasn’t.
It wasn’t fair. He’d never done anything wrong. He’d just wanted a good life with Jess. He screamed as he began to thrash on his bed. It wasn’t fucking fair!
He couldn’t go on after this. He couldn’t survive without Jess. Screaming her name one final time, he made his decision. He would die here with her.
A life without her was nothing. It would be nothing but pain and suffering and heartbreak. He couldn’t do it. He wouldn’t do it.
He sobbed furiously as he began to accept his fate, closing his eyes and waiting for the flames to put him out of his misery.
They slammed open again as a loud, whooshing noise filled the room. Purple smoke created what looked like an image of another place as a man with golden hair stepped through.
His golden eyes, shining with fury and determination, met Sam’s and he breathed heavily. Face contorting in confusion, Sam watched as the other man grabbed his hand and pulled him off the bed.
“Run!”
With that, the man sprinted back through the portal, pulling Sam along with him. Realising he was leaving his heart behind him and that he would never be complete again, he let out one last pained wail as he glanced back at the room.
It was completely engulfed in flames.
Jess was completely gone.
The portal closed.
Sam collapsed.