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“So what is it going to be? Riches? Clothes? Delicious food?” Feng Xiao counted on his fingers as he sprawled at their favourite restaurant, eating melon seeds. He waggled his eyebrows suggestively. “Or maybe… me?”
"You, then."
Oh. That's not what he meant to say when he opened his mouth. Feng Xiao, sitting across from him, almost choked on his seeds. Coughing, he blurted out, "What?"
No way through but forward, then. Cui Buqu folded his arms and leaned back in his seat, ignoring the looks of some of the other patrons shooting their way. "It will be my birthday soon, and you asked what I wished for. So," he gestured magnanimously at the still gaping Feng Xiao, "you."
Feng Xiao closed his mouth with an audible click and then frowned. He narrowed his eyes and studied Cui Buqu's face. Cui Buqu let him, raising his cup of tea and taking a sip, feigning aloofness he wasn't truly feeling.
It was just.
Well.
He truly didn't mean to say that out loud. But it was something he has been thinking about, more often than he would be willing to admit. Ever since their visit to Xuandu mountain, he's been thinking about nothing but Feng Xiao fucking him.
It wasn't his fault! It was, in fact, Shen-daozhang's fault, as silly as that sounded. During the visit, Cui Buqu spent a lot of the time secretly studying the man whenever he interacted with his husband. He watched his impassive face bloom into a gentle smile as he watched Yan Wushi tease the younger disciples, the way his body swayed into his husband's whenever Yan Wushi touched his back. The way his face turned crimson and embarrassed when his husband leaned in to whisper in his ears. The way they moved in sync, like two hearts beating as one.
He watched them be in love borne of long-held intimacy, and a small, forgotten, shriveled part of his heart, the one that loved and yearned and hoped, came alive again. He looked at Feng Xiao, his Feng'er, and yearned for everything the man could give him, and more.
He coughed, clearing his throat, and willed the mortifying sentiments to go away. It was time for the offense. He cocked his eyebrow in challenge. “Is it so shocking that I want you to fu-”
In a blink of an eye, Feng Xiao leaned over and pressed his hand over his mouth to shut him up. To Cui Buqu’s delight, the faintest of blushes was now coloring Feng Xiao's cheeks. Laughing inwardly, Cui Buqu gave him an amused look, and then he licked the palm still pressed against his mouth.
Feng Xiao yelped and snatched his hand away so fast he almost fell over. Cui Buqu looked around and seeing everyone’s eyes on Feng Xiao’s nonsense, he let himself laugh out loud.
After a moment, Feng Xiao collected himself, his famously thick skin back in place. He leaned in close and hissed quietly. “I thought you didn't.”
Cui Buqu shrugged. “I usually don't.” Or ever, really. “But…,” he lowered his voice, putting as much demureness in his acting as he was physically capable of. Now was the time for the final blow. He stroked the rim of his teacup lightly with the tip of his finger, and then he glanced up at the transfixed Feng Xiao through his lashes, eyes wide and vulnerable. “I wanted my first time to be special.”
A moment passed before Feng Xiao squawked out a shocked “first time?”
The entire restaurant was now definitely staring at them. Knowing he has won this battle, he affixed his stone expression back in place and got up. He patted Feng Xiao's shoulder and leaned closer to his ear, whispering. “Four nights from now on. I will be waiting.”
Without turning back, he shuffled away and left Feng Xiao to deal with the aftermath with a smile on his face.
***
Four nights later, he was waiting.
He wasn't nervous, of course. There was nothing to be nervous about. He has lived through countless life-threatening situations simply by trusting his safety to Feng Xiao, and this wasn't in any way different.
He snorted and rubbed his arms, the chill of the night seeping through the thin robe he was wearing. He decided to wait for Feng Xiao in the little garden outside his rooms, for reasons he was unwilling to investigate too thoroughly.
He was proud of his preparations, such as they were, even if he felt annoyed over how embarrassed he was about caring this much. The bedroom was ready, with freshly laundered sheets, water, towels and various oils at the ready. He bathed thoroughly, put on his softest robe and braided his long hair to the side. He didn't miss the way Feng Xiao fixated on his neck, and if Cui Buqu braided it this way specifically to give him better access, then, well, nobody was going to learn that.
He felt ready.
No he didn't. His stomach churned so hard he felt like it was going to crawl up his throat. He felt like maybe he should run, beg his majesty for a new mission and get as far away from this house, and especially Feng Xiao, as possible.
But he stood his ground. He was not going to run away, because he wasn't a coward.
He closed his eyes, feeling the night breeze ruffle his hair. He took a deep breath of the fresh fragrant air, letting it expand in his lungs. When he breathed out, he forced his rabbiting heart to calm down.
He wasn't going to run, because he trusted Feng Xiao. He wasn't going to run, because if he was going to try having sex with someone, there was nobody else he would accept. He wasn't going to run, because he loved Feng Xiao and wanted to share this intimacy with him.
He loved Feng Xiao. That was the whole truth.
Slowly, his eyes opened and there he was. Standing on the roof, shadowed against the moon, Feng Xiao's white robes fluttering in the wind made him look like an immortal descending to bless the masses.
Cui Buqu's breath caught in his throat, defenseless against Feng Xiao's beauty even after all these years. He couldn't see his face, but he knew Feng Xiao was studying him back. And then he jumped, his robes unfolding behind him like phoenix wings, flying towards him. Like a man transfixed, Cui Buqu's arms reached out on their own accord, grasping as if to embrace, taking a step forward.
Landing light as a feather but keeping his momentum, Feng Xiao picked Cui Buqu up in a fluid motion, cradling him in his embrace, spinning him once. It happened so fast that Cui Buqu barely noticed, but his traitorous arms tightened around Feng Xiao's back.
Feng Xiao set him down and hid his face against Cui Buqu's throat, breathing in deeply. His heart warm, Cui Buqu let his head lean against his lover's, a small fond smile playing over his lips.
They stayed like that for a long moment, two hearts beating as one. Cui Buqu closed his eyes, anchoring himself against Feng Xiao, centering his mind on where he was touched; the warm breath against his naked neck, the strong hands caressing his waist. The way his weak, spluttering heart answered Feng Xiao's call, recognizing the other as safety, and warmth. As his.
Feng Xiao nuzzled against his neck. "You smell good."
He scoffed. "The only thing I could smell of right now is my medicine."
"I know," Feng Xiao chuckled. He straightened and cupped Cui Buqu's cheeks with gentle hands, his eyes filled with so much fondness that Cui Buqu couldn't stand it. His hand moved as if to push him away, make it stop, but in the end it just laid on Feng Xiao's front, over his beating heart.
Letting out a breathy laugh, Feng Xiao leaned in and captured his lips. The kiss was slow and deep, lips barely moving against each other. Cui Buqu's fingers tangled in the front of Feng Xiao's robes, crushing the soft fabric, the last remains of his nerves bleeding out. He was in capable hands now. He could relax.
He broke the kiss, breathing in deep. Eyes closed, he yanked Feng Xiao closer and pressed their foreheads together, taking a moment to reorient himself.
Feng Xiao's thumb stroked his cheek. “Where are your attack dogs?” he whispered into their shared space.
“Dismissed for tonight,” Cui Buqu answered, voice slightly shaky.
“Hmm,” Feng Xiao hummed. He nuzzled their noses together, a gesture that made Cui Buqu smile. “Aren't you afraid of what I might do to you with nobody around?”
He laughed at that. He stepped back, his hands falling to his side. He cocked his head to the side and enjoyed the way Feng Xiao's eyes immediately zeroed in on the revealed skin. “Please. As if others being present would stop you.”
His eyes flashed with amusement. “My Ququ knows me so well. In that case,” he lifted Cui Buqu in his arms, “let this husband show you what he is capable of.”
“Who would marry you?” Cui Buqu threw his arms around his neck and cuddled in closer. “Besides, we've already established that you are the wife.”
Feng Xiao laughed uproariously as he walked towards the bedroom. “Whatever my husband wishes, then.”
Once over the threshold, Cui Buqu struggled out of Feng Xiao's arms and jumped down. He gestured towards the bed, the oils, the water. “Here we are. Everything at your disposal.” He mockingly bowed. “I am putting myself into Commander Feng's expertise.”
Folding his arms across his chest, Feng Xiao gave him an amused look. “I can't tell if I should be offended or pleased that you seem to think me some kind of a sex maniac.” His brow raised. “There have, in fact, been very few people I have deemed worthy enough to take to bed.”
Turning away as to not show how pleased that made him, Cui Buqu snorted. “If that is the case, then you know where the door is.”
He felt a hard body at his back. Feng Xiao pressed against him, his arms snaking around his waist to hold him tight. He leaned closer so his lips touched Cui Buqu's ear. “Don't worry, A-Cui,” he whispered and Cui Buqu shivered at the sensation of warm breath against his sensitive earlobe, “I know plenty enough to make this a night you won't forget.”
He let his head thump back against Feng Xiao's shoulder. “Then stop talking and get to it.”
“Mmm…” Feng Xiao's teeth grazed his throat and Cui Buqu's head lolled to the side to give him better access. Feng Xiao licked a path up before sucking hard at the skin. One of Feng Xiao's hands sneaked up, caressing Cui Buqu's chest, before grasping his chin, maneuvering him with ease that left Cui Buqu light-headed. Feng Xiao chuckled into his ear. “I don't think so. I think I have you exactly where I want you.”
“Ah..” The sensation of Feng Xiao's lips on his neck was starting to get overwhelming. He blinked rapidly to clear his head. He reached out to cover the hand holding his throat. “What do you get from chewing on me like an animal?”
Feng Xiao's other hand found the opening between his robes and slid inside, the warm hand caressing his chest. “I get to mark you up for everyone to see.” He pinched a nipple, making Cui Buqu gasp in surprise. “I will make sure everyone looks at you and knows you're mine.”
Cui Buqu's knees almost buckled at that. The possessive tone, the roaming hands, the burning lips. All for him. All for him. “I am going to be so angry about that tomorrow.”
“Not tonight, though,” Feng Xiao questioned.
“No, not tonight,” Cui Buqu agreed and turned his head to search out Feng Xiao's mouth on his own.
The angle made him arch out, yet Feng Xiao's possessive hands held him tight against his chest. Despite his self assured act, Feng Xiao was starting to lose himself too, breathing deeply. He grinded against Cui Buqu and Cui Buqu's eyes widened. Feng Xiao was hard.
Cui Buqu was unprepared for the heady feeling of pride that shot through him. He, sickly Cui Buqu, was making the most beautiful man in the world horny. The moment he manages to catch his breath, he will feel extremely smug about it.
His blood rushing south made him feel bold, grinding his ass back against Feng Xiao's crotch, feeling his dick twitch even though the layers of cloth between them.
Growling low in his throat, Feng Xiao broke the kiss with a pop and then Cui Buqu was shoved urgently towards the bed. He landed on the mattress, but before he could crawl up, Feng Xiao was on him again, flipping him onto his back, capturing his lips again.
The stimulation of being ground into the bed by the other man while kissed senseless, their bodies sliding against each other, was driving him out of his mind. Feng Xiao's groping hands turned clumsy as they tugged at Cui Buqu's robes, untying them and showing his front open to get his hands on the skin underneath. He jolted when he realized Cui Buqu was naked under them.
He looked up and Cui Buqu flushed at the naked lust in his beautiful face. Breathing deeply, his eyes were flashing with red light, as if his heart was in disarray. While he was distracted, Cui Buqu reached out to untie his robes too.
Feng Xiao grabbed his hands and leaned down, pushing Cui Buqu's wrists into the mattress beside his head.
They looked at each other, chests heaving and breaths tangling, before Feng Xiao cracked. "God. You're breathtaking."
Cui Buqu's breath hitched. He opened his mouth to argue, to deny such nonsense, but Feng Xiao's face stopped him. He looked so fond, so in love, it transformed his compliment into honesty, something he truly believed in. Cui Buqu's mind whirled, trying to adjust itself to a reality where Feng Xiao thought him beautiful, where Feng Xiao loved him, where Feng Xiao wanted him with such abandon.
All he could do was entwine their hands as he gazed dazedly up at the man above him. "Not as breathtaking as you." He couldn't even make it sound like sarcasm. He will feel so disgusted with himself the next day.
Feng Xiao grinned happily. "Aren't we a beautiful couple then? Others wish they could be as well matched as us."
He couldn't handle looking directly at that happy face. "Stop saying nonsense," he mumbled to the side.
Laughing, Feng Xiao let go of his hands, which he was not going to whine about, and cradled his face to press a tender kiss to his forehead. Then he sat back, now kneeling between Cui Buqu's legs, his hands sliding down Cui Buqu's sides. He stopped at his hips, his thumb pressing into the crease between the crotch and leg.
Cui Buqu's leg almost kicked up on reflex, he was so startled, but Feng Xiao held him down, chuckling. His knuckles dragged down his thighs, teasing, kneading, making him painfully aware of the one place he wasn't touching him. "Can you fucking get to it?"
"Ah ah ah, my beloved Ququ. You must practice patience."
"I don't want patience, I want your hands on my dick," he ground out through gritted teeth.
"Oh sweet, naive Ququ. Did you think I would manage to get you in bed and not play with you to my heart's content?" He dragged his blunt nails down the inside of his thigh, making Cui Buqu jump. Feng Xiao just pressed him deeper into the bed. "The commander miscalculated."
Cui Buqu threw an arm over his eyes, willing his heart to calm down. "You're such a piece of shit."
Feng Xiao laughed, the warmth in the sound pooling in Cui Buqu’s belly like honey. "And yet, you still love me," he countered confidently.
"Nobody said anything about love…" Cui Buqu mumbled.
"Of course, of course. None of this is motivated by love." Feng Xiao's voice was dripping with sarcasm. The fingers of his right hand were digging into his calf, massaging out the tension. "Since that is a sentiment Commander Cui never feels."
He grit his teeth against the assault of sensation from Feng Xiao's clever fingers. "I hate you."
Feng Xiao let out a quiet heh. "Now there's the sentiment I'm used to from you." Before Cui Buqu could retort, Feng Xiao grabbed his right ankle and lifted the leg, hooking it over his own shoulder. Cui Buqu gasped at the unexpected stretch and Feng Xiao's eyes twinkled. "I'm glad you bathed so meticulously. It means I can do this," he teased, and kissed the side of his knee.
Cui Buqu's hands flew to his mouth to hold in the shocked moan. Grinning, Feng Xiao licked the sensitive skin under his knee while his other hand slid under Cui Buqu's left thigh, lifting it, caressing his ass.
This position was horrible. It was revealing, and uncomfortable, and embarrassing, and so arousing he thought he might just come then and there. He bit his knuckle, trying to hold it all in.
Feng Xiao nuzzled against his knee, face smug. "Come on Ququ. Let me hear you."
"Fuck you."
He burst out laughing. "Oh Ququ, did you forget why we're here?"
Irritated and so, so turned on, he tried to free himself to save some dignity, but Feng Xiao's grip was like iron. Cui Buqu threw him a disgusted look, but when Feng Xiao's face turned inquisitive, he just flopped back down. Fine. He will let his lover have his fun. This once.
"Is there going to be some fucking happening in this fucking?" he grumbled.
"But why?" Feng Xiao’s tone was amused. "It's so much fun watching you squirm like this."
Cui Buqu tried kicking him. "I'm going to kill you."
Feng Xiao caught his foot easily and folded the leg back against Cui Buqu's chest. "You're so dramatic."
"I don't want to hear that from the biggest peacock in the country!"
Finally, Feng Xiao let up his teasing torture. He leaned down and kissed Cui Buqu again. Cui Buqu eagerly opened his legs to let him in, thighs squeezing him in anticipation. His hips buckled and they both groaned when his dick grinded against Feng Xiao's. He broke the kiss and pawed at Feng Xiao's stupid beautiful robes. "Why the fuck are you still clothed! Get this out of the way."
Listening to him for once, Feng Xiao straightened and slowly untied his robes, shoving them to the side and Cui Buqu's mouth went dry at the panes of revealed skin. He struggled upright and laid his hands on the warm soft chest, feeling dazed.
He glanced up and their eyes met, Feng Xiao's expression showing rare vulnerability. Commander Feng rarely discarded his layers; would never allow just anyone to see him this disheveled, this messy and flushed.
His sick, silly heart filled with affection for this man, his messy, complicated, infuriating Feng Xiao.
Of course he wasn't an immortal descending from the heavens. He was his Feng'er.
He cupped Feng Xiao's cheeks and smiled, allowing himself to show the endless depths of fondness he felt. Feng Xiao's eyes widened as Cui Buqu leaned in and kissed him with all the tenderness found in his bastard heart, saying with his lips all that he couldn't put into words.
Maybe he wasn't the only one feeling too much. Feng Xiao cradled him in his arms, holding him tight, as if he tried hard enough, they could merge into one being. Cui Buqu melted into his embrace, feeling warm, so warm, like nothing else mattered. Which was a stupid sentiment. Yet another thing to feel angry and embarrassed about tomorrow.
He nuzzled his face into the crook of Feng Xiao's neck, stroking the other side with his hand. He searched out his pulse and pressed a tentative kiss to it, and then he kissed it again with glee when he felt it quicken under his lips. He has almost crawled into Feng Xiao's lap at this point, though the fact it was still clothed felt like a grave injustice against his person. His lips traveled upwards, pressing lingering kisses, licking the skin, tentatively grinding at the hard length under him.
Feng Xiao was a shaking mess by the time he got to his ears. They were adorably red and Cui Buqu didn't even bother to resist biting them. Feng Xiao bucked under him, his arms around him tightening. Cui Buqu smiled to himself, pleased. Maybe in the future, he could lay out Feng Xiao on his bed and have him squirm instead. Not now, though. Now he needed to get fucked.
He kissed Feng Xiao's ear again. "Yuntian. Please."
Feng Xiao's breath hitched, and then he grabbed Cui Buqu's nape and smashed their mouths together, kissing him hard. Before he could catch his breath, Feng Xiao pushed him down, pressing him into the bed with a single hand, eyes wild and dangerous. He was gorgeous like this.
Egging him on, Cui Buqu raised his arms above his head, artfully arranging them on the pillow, helpless and for the taking. He glanced at Feng Xiao from under his lashes. "Yuntian."
"Fuck," Feng Xiao muttered, eyes jumping around, as if he couldn't decide where to look.
Cui Buqu drank in the reactions with glee. Feng Xiao was kneeling between his legs and Cui Buqu raised a foot and pressed it against the hard bulge in his pants.
Feng Xiao gasped, and then he was jumping off the bed, and finally, finally taking off his trousers. Cui Buqu's mouth watered at the beautiful backside, the perfect curves he wanted to get his hands on, but when Feng Xiao turned around and Cui Buqu saw him in his full glory, his heart almost stopped.
Feng Xiao was perfect.
Of course he was perfect. He was his Feng Xiao. He was his Feng Xiao and Cui Buqu wanted him so much.
Feng Xiao grabbed a bottle of oil and crawled back between his legs. He gave Cui Buqu a heated look. "I've thought about this for so long."
"Oh?"
He unstoppered the bottle, pouring a generous amount on his hand. Setting it aside, he rubbed it over both hands while he gave Cui Buqu a look that made his toes curl. "Is this really your first time?"
Cui Buqu's eyebrow rose. "Of course." He wanted to add a sarcastic obviously , but then finally, finally, Feng Xiao stroked him.
His breath was punched out of him as Feng Xiao's oiled hand slid up and down his length, slow and languid. Cui Buqu slapped a hand over his mouth, muffling a moan. Feng Xiao shook his head. "I have a hard time believing that. Did nobody ever take you to bed?"
Cui Buqu had a hard time breathing. He didn't have time for this nonsense right now. "I never felt the need to pursue anyone." Feng Xiao did something with his thumb that made him whimper. He stared at the ceiling, trying to catch his breath. "And nobody ever wanted me. Why would anyone ever want me?"
Feng Xiao tsked. "Because this view is going to be burned into my memory for eternity. You're so perfect," he said, reverence in his voice. Cui Buqu looked up sharply, heart in disarray, and then Feng Xiao shoved a finger into him.
His eyes widened. The intrusion felt alien, strange, and unpleasant, Feng Xiao's clever fingers sliding in and out. He continued, disregarding the Cui Buqu who was falling apart under his hands. "There must have been men who wanted you. Craved you. Wanted to take you apart like this." His smile turned crooked. "Maybe they were just afraid that you'd bite their dick off."
Cui Buqu grimaced, trying to survive Feng Xiao's onslaught. He pushed his words through gritted teeth. "And you're not afraid I'll bite yours off?"
Feng Xiao giggled. "Of course not! Because you love me."
He opened his mouth, ready to deny that nonsense, and then Feng Xiao's fingers touched something inside him and he screamed.
He didn't see Feng Xiao's triumphant expression through the stars bursting in his vision. His chest was heaving. "Wh-" he tried croaking out, but then Feng Xiao's hands started moving again and the rest of the sentence struck in his throat.
The hand on his dick was merciless, pumping fast, the other stretching him, occasionally brushing against the spot that made his mind numb. He was shaking now, face pressed into the pillow to the side, eyes squeezed shut against the waves of pleasure coursing through his body. His breath was coming out short, harsh little bursts against the smooth fabric of the pillow. He was making truly undignified noises, unable to hold back under Feng Xiao's hands. He hasn't had this little control over his own body in his entire adult life.
He couldn't take it anymore. The muscles in his stomach were tensing in a way he recognized, even if the intensity was new. He opened his mouth and barely recognized the broken moan as his own. Feng Xiao’s hand on him sped up and Cui Buqu opened his eyes with difficulty. Their eyes met and the orgasm hit him.
He sobbed through it, the intensity punching the breath out of his lungs while the aftershocks coursed through his limbs in waves.
Suddenly he was being gathered in Feng Xiao's strong arms and kissed tenderly, his slick hand rubbing the small of his back, pushing him closer into Feng Xiao's lap. Then he pressed kisses onto the crown of his head while Cui Buqu tried to catch his breath. “God…”
Feng Xiao sounded smug. “Seems like you enjoyed that,” he teased.
Cui Buqu hooked his arms around Feng Xiao’s waist and rested his cheek on his shoulder. “Guess you are useful after all.”
Amused snort, and then a kiss was pressed to his temple. “High praise from the Commander.”
He stroked his hand down Feng Xiao's chest, flicking a nipple. “I'd say don't let it go to your head, but we're about twenty years too late for that.”
Feng Xiao laughed, a sound like music to Cui Buqu's ears. “Obviously.”
Cui Buqu smiled at that. “Suppose I chose you well after all.”
“Hmm.” Feng Xiao raised Cui Buqu’s face with a finger under his chin. “I see you’re trying to take credit for my hard work once again. You’re incorrigible.”
He hooked his arms around Feng Xiao’s neck. “What are you going to do about it?”
The hand on his back slid down, kneading his ass. “I think I’m going to finally show you why I’m here.”
Cui Buqu rolled his hips, the contact sending sparks up his spine. “Will you?” He did it again. “Will you finally take mercy on this poor husband?”
Feng Xiao grinned, his smile a bit loopy. “And here I thought I was being considerate, taking it slow as to not break you.”
He smacked Feng Xiao’s cheek, annoyed. “Who’s asking for that?”
Feng Xiao caught the hand and pressed a kiss to the wrist. “I am, you idiot. I know you have no preservation instincts, but I’d still prefer not to kill you.”
Cui Buqu scoffed. “I have strong preservation instincts. How would I have survived this long?” He cupped Feng Xiao’s cheek. “Maybe I just trust you with my safety implicitly.”
His eyes went huge. He blinked a few times before he let out an amused breath. “You get really honest when you’re horny, did you notice that? Horny or injured.”
“Feng’er.” He looked him in the eyes. “You won’t break me. I promise.” He played with the hair at Feng Xiao's nape, fingers dancing over the warm skin. "I want you so much. Don't hold back."
Feng Xiao crushed their mouths together, his hands grabbing Cui Buqu's waist almost painfully. Yes, he thought, yes, finally. Then Feng Xiao broke the kiss, chest heaving. "Like this." He groped at Cui Buqu's ass. "Like this. In my lap. Want to watch your face."
He felt heat crawling up his neck, but he pushed down the embarrassment. He flung his legs around Feng Xiao's waist, ankles hooking behind his back, heels digging in. "Okay. Okay."
"I've wanted this for so long, you have no idea." Feng Xiao grabbed their dicks in one hand, stroking them together. The other sneaked back to tease at his crack. Cui Buqu's hips were bucking under the waves of sensation and he grabbed Feng Xiao's shoulders to hold onto for dear life. Feng Xiao really wasn't holding back anymore, his hand working their lengths at a fast pace. "God, you were infuriating. So many times that I wanted to lay you out. Fuck you to shut you up for once. Infuriating, and irresistible."
"I know." Cui Buqu gasped out. "I know." He squeezed his waist, urging Feng Xiao on. "I know you did. I would've let you."
Feng Xiao's breath hitched. He grabbed Cui Buqu's braid and tugged back hard, arching his back. Feng Xiao attacked his chest, biting, licking. "All those other men that chased you." He stopped stroking him and instead grabbed him by the waist, lifting him slightly. Cui Buqu tensed slightly in anticipation, knowing what was coming, yet still feeling unprepared for the way Feng Xiao slammed him back down, driving into him in one go.
A ragged moan tore out of his throat. He could feel any slight shift under him, he was so full. He knew Feng Xiao was big, objectively, but in this moment, he felt as if he could feel him in his throat.
Feng Xiao's expression was one of possession, eyes red and wild, his grin almost feral. "All those men who wanted you." His grin stretched wider. "But they're all dead, and you're sitting on my dick." He thrusted up jerkily and Cui Buqu cried out, overwhelmed. Feng Xiao held him by the waist and then started moving him in tandem with his thrusts. He felt so impossibly full, heightened by the sensation of being just a ragdoll in Feng Xiao’s hands. Muffling his sobs in Feng Xiao’s hair, he wrapped his arms around the other man and squeezed hard. “God…” he whimpered.
Wrapping a hand around his nape, Feng Xiao maneuvered him into another punishing kiss, swallowing his cries. Cui Buqu grabbed his face, his grip deathly, and took control of the kiss instead. Feng Xiao snorted into his mouth and gripped his waist again, changing the angle and then he was hitting the spot that made Cui Buqu see white.
He gasped, breaking the kiss. His toes curled against the building pressure, his hands grasping Feng Xiao’s shoulders, neck, hair, anything for purchase.
“When Xiao Lu wanted to take you away, when you agreed to go with him to save me, I thought I was going to lose my mind.” The noise of flesh slapping against flesh permeated every word he growled out. “He dared to call you his soulmate when he knew you were mine.” His fingers dug into Cui Buqu’s hips painfully. “You are mine.”
Cui Buqu had trouble keeping his eyes open, but he gazed down, getting lost in the feral look in Feng Xiao’s eyes. “What,” he gasped with difficulty, ”what would you have done if he took me away.”
“I would’ve followed you to hell.” Feng Xiao showed his teeth and bit at Cui Buqu’s throat. “Torn him to shreds, limb from limb,” he growled against his skin.
He grabbed Feng Xiao’s hair and tugged him back, making them face each other. “Say it again,” he demanded. “Say it.”
Feng Xiao looked him in the eyes. “You’re mine.”
That pushed him over the edge. White hot pleasure shot through his spine, pulsing through his limbs. His legs twitched as the energy left him, coming in hot spurts against Feng Xiao’s chest. He breathed hard, unable to catch his breath, gasping out little bursts of air.
He slumped against Feng Xiao’s chest, feeling utterly boneless.
Feng Xiao trilled against his ear. “I’m not done with you yet, Ququ.” Cui Buqu blinked rapidly as a hand landed between his shoulder blades, and then there was qi flowing into him. He gasped, feeling himself catch a second breath. Feng Xiao’s hand grabbed his dick, pumping again with a manic grin on his face and Cui Buqu almost cried of overstimulation.
But he didn’t want it to be over yet either. Besides, Feng Xiao still hasn’t come. He needed him to come. He took a large gulp of air. “Feng’er…”
With a finger under his chin, Feng Xiao lifted his face and kissed his forehead tenderly. And then he grabbed him by the waist and lifted him, sliding out, and dumping him on the bed.
Cui Buqu sobbed at the sudden feeling of emptiness. He scrambled to grab at Feng Xiao, but Feng Xiao flipped him over and pressed him into the bed with a single hand between his shoulder blades. He leaned over, his weight pinning Cui Buqu into the bed easily, and whispered into his ear again. “I’m not done with you yet.”
And then he was gone again, only the hand pressing on his back remaining. Before he could catch his breath, Feng Xiao was lifting his ass in the air, kicking his knees apart and kneeling between them.
Cui Buqu hid his flaming face in the pillow in front of him, gripping the bedsheet in a deathly grip, unwilling to interrogate why such an undignified, revealing position made him almost instantly hard again.
But soon, Feng Xiao didn't give him a chance to think about anything anymore. Gripping his waist, he mounted him again, easily sliding all the way in, grunting in pleasure. Cui Buqu bit at the pillow to muffle his moan and arched his back as much as he could to chase the sensation, knees barely cooperating. Feng Xiao ran his hand down his side, caressing the sweaty skin. "You're perfect like this." He thrusted, holding Cui Buqu in place with his powerful grip on his hips. "Maybe I should just keep you like this, forever. Gagging for it," he punctuated every word with a thrust, the smack of his skin against Cui Buqu's a vulgar reminder, "your legs open for me, and me only." He rolled his hips before thrusting again and Cui Buqu could only lay there and take it, unable to move, unable to refuse, unable to fight back.
And he was so turned on it was making his head spin. Loud, ragged moans were torn from his throat, impossible to stop. He thought he might die, but if he had to go, this was better than he ever thought he would get.
Suddenly, Feng Xiao sneaked an arm around his waist and lifted him on his knees, still fucking into him. One arm around his waist and the other hand possessively laid over his throat were all that were keeping Cui Buqu upright, since his own knees have long turned to mush. He let his head loll back, resting it on Feng Xiao's shoulder, letting himself be held upright fully by his lover.
"Ququ…," Feng Xiao moaned into his ear desperately, "Ququ, I'm so close."
Cui Buqu could only turn his head weakly to the side, angling for a kiss while he held onto Feng Xiao's hands.
His mind reached a state of quiet it rarely did, concentrating on nothing but Feng Xiao. His hands, his lips, his dick; his desperate encouragements cried into his ear, answered by his own breathy moans, all working in service of Cui Buqu's pleasure.
Feng Xiao's movements turned jerky, hips slamming into him with absolute abandon now. Weakly, Cui Buqu grabbed the hand holding his waist and, fingers entwining, he moved it to his dick. Understanding what he wanted, Feng Xiao had to jerk him only once before he was coming again, voice hoarse from shouting.
Finally, that pushed Feng Xiao over the edge too, biting into his shoulder as he spilled inside him.
They stayed there, suspended in the moment, breathless and a little shocked, before Cui Buqu's muscles finally gave in and he collapsed. Startled, Feng Xiao fell with him, wrapping his arms around him to cushion his fall.
Cui Buqu let out a surprised little oof , but then he looked up at Feng Xiao kneeling over him with his face worried, and his mouth twitched, and then he snorted, and then he was laughing, full chested laugh he barely knew he was capable of. Seeing him laugh, Feng Xiao's face transformed into an expression of fond hopelessness, before he tackled Cui Buqu down again, pressing fond little kisses all across his face while Cui Buqu tried to push him away, laughing. "Stop it you idiot," he hiccupped, not meaning it in the slightest.
Feng Xiao did stop, but only to wrap his arms around him, pressing kisses to his hair. "This is disgusting," he said, laughter in his voice. "We're so sweaty. We're covered in come." He ran his hand through Cui Buqu's hair, scratching lightly, and Cui Buqu rewarded him by pressing a kiss to his collarbone and laying his head on his chest, listening to his heart thump. Feng Xiao snickered. "Mostly yours."
He rolled his eyes. "And whose fault is that? Don't be so smug about it."
"There's no shame in being proud of a job well done. You should try it sometime," he teased, flicking Cui Buqu's nose and laughing when he batted the offending hand away.
"Fuck off. I'm not getting up for another bath." He was so cozy and tired, he just wanted to close his eyes and sleep.
He felt the mattress dip as Feng Xiao got off the bed and he cracked an eye open watch him. He smiled a private smile as Feng Xiao puttered around the room, using the towels and water he prepared to wash himself, appreciating the way his soft skin stretched over his lean muscles. His Feng'er, he thought, happy.
Finished washing up, Feng Xiao put on a fresh robe and turned around. He saw Cui Buqu watching him and struck a pose. "Like what you see?"
He raised his eyebrow. "Yes, actually."
Feng Xiao smiled, a goofy little pleased smile and Cui Buqu's heart did a somersault. He sat up at the edge of the bed with a groan and reached for the wet towel Feng Xiao was holding, only to have his hand pushed away. "Let me," Feng Xiao said, and knelt before him.
Ah , Cui Buqu thought as Feng Xiao gently rubbed his legs with the cloth, taking away sweat and come and anything else. Ah , he thought, as Feng Xiao massaged his sore muscles. Ah , he thought as Feng Xiao, his fussy Feng Xiao who couldn't stand the thought of a mess, carefully washed his body.
Feng Xiao paused in his ministrations to look over his work and Cui Buqu reached out and cupped his cheeks. He didn't know what Feng Xiao saw in his face, but when he looked up, his expression was unsure. "Ququ?"
"I would marry you, if I could," he said and he meant it, for it was true.
Feng Xiao's eyes widened. His mouth opened in shock and Cui Buqu just looked at him, at his Feng'er, more beautiful than the gods themselves, and felt his heart thud in his chest painfully. He slid a hand into Feng Xiao's hair, feeling fond when Feng Xiao's eyes fluttered closed at the touch.
He leaned down, pressing his forehead against Cui Buqu's knees. "Sometimes you say the most beautiful things," he mumbled, and Cui Buqu felt drops of moisture hit his skin.
He caressed the silky hair. "Don't get used to it," he said, his own eyes suspiciously warm.
"I would never. Your bastard personality is my favorite. But," Feng Xiao hugged his legs, "sometimes you say the most beautiful things."
He hiccupped out a laugh and then bent over and hugged Feng Xiao.
They stayed like that for a long while, quiet and serene, in a place where Cui Buqu loved and was loved in return.
Eventually, he straightened his aching back, and Feng Xiao cleared his throat, wiping at his eyes. "We need to finish here before you catch a cold."
Even with eyes swollen from tears, he was beautiful. Just another thing to be annoyed about tomorrow. Cui Buqu shook his head and let him finish. Afterwards, Feng Xiao wrapped him up in a clean robe, and then bundled him up in a blanket and carried him to a chair while he changed the mattress and sheets. Happy, he carried Cui Buqu back into bed, turned off the lamps and then crawled under the blankets after him.
They faced each other, a beam of moonlight through the window illuminating Feng Xiao’s beautiful face. He was smiling, eyes crinkled in joy, lacking his usual haughty expression. He reached out a knuckle and caressed Cui Buqu’s cheek. Then he leaned in and pressed a tender kiss to his lips, his cheeks, his eyelids.
Finally, his hand slid to the side of his neck, looking intently, before he laid back down, eyes twinkling in amusement. “You look like you got mauled by a bear.”
Cui Buqu rolled his eyes. “Again, whose fault is that?”
Feng Xiao grinned. “I’m going to be unbearably smug about this.”
“Suppose I’ll have to just kill you, then.”
“And deprive yourself of your beloved husband?” Feng Xiao leaned over him. “For shame, Cui-Lang.”
Reaching out, he grabbed Feng Xiao and dragged him down, pressing his face into his chest. “Shut up and sleep now. Busy day tomorrow.”
Feng Xiao nuzzled into him, his arms going around his waist. “Because you will be killing me?”
Cui Buqu squeezed him and ignored Feng Xiao’s answering chuckle. “Of course.”
He was almost asleep when Feng Xiao piped up. “Ququ?”
“Yes?”
“You know that I love you?”
He allowed his smile to take over his face as he gazed into the dark, holding the man he loved in his arms. “Of course.”