Chapter Text
In her defense, Sayu had left her house this night to go study with her friends, she really did.
Fourteen-year-old Yagami Sayu had planned to sleep over at the house of her friend Fuyuko Himari, only for her fellow teenager to surprise her with tickets to a Misa-Misa concert.
"That was awesome, right? That was totally awesome! Our first concert, everyone!" The girl with bright, dyed pink hair said with a laugh, shooting her friend double peace signs. Sayu kept smiling and nodded as she and her friends nodded home. The four had known each other since they were little, and Himari had proven time and again why she was their leader.
"We were so close too, it's like we could touch her if we wanted to!" said Ito Sumire, a girl with long blond hair and glasses. "Man, I thought I wouldn't go to my first concert until I was like, eighteen or something! That fucked!"
"I-I got kind of a headache… but it was really fun!" Minamoto Ichika, a somewhat heavyset girl with pigtails said, albeit still smiling. "What do you think, Sayu-chan?"
"It was really fun! … Ehehe, I don't know what else to say, sorry!"
"Didn't I tell you to not worry, Sayu-chan?" Himari asked, making her way towards her. Sayu felt her cheeks flush as Himari grabbed her hand, looking at her painted nails. Even though she was technically the youngest by a few months, everything about Himari just screamed that she was a leader, a real somebody.
Yagami Sayu, however, was painfully average.
She was the daughter of the Chief of the National Police Agency, and her brother Light was also remarkable. The top student of the country who had even helped the police solve mysteries in the past with his own promising future in law enforcement. While she would never say it out loud, she could see her brother as the Prime Minister one day- a man dedicated to the betterment of his country and the brains to make it all possible.
And then there was Sayu, who had a tendency to pull in B's and C's and a D in math. It made her appreciate being around them as just a normal teenage girl, even if she couldn't help but feel like the least spectacular even among them. And looking at Himari's makeup and hair reminded her that she was still painfully ordinary among them, but at least when ordinary among them she didn't feel in someone's shadow.
"Yeah! You were totally right!" But she still loved her family and her friends. Leaders needed followers to be special. Sayu had no problem being a follower then, if it meant she could support her friends and family. When she married, she'd probably just become a housewife like her mother, and if not go to college to earn a simple salary job. She didn't think heavily of her future, focused on the now like so many children her age.
It's really fun just being a teenager, Sayu thought to herself. As the police chief's daughter of course, she got more paranoid about things like this kind of sneaking out, but in the end… I did it, and it was fun! Sayu thought to herself. Sure, it was almost midnight and she felt drop-dead exhausted, but what was wrong with that? She trailed a bit behind the group as she looked at the moon above them.
"Hey, Himari-chan, it's safe out here, right?" Sumire asked. "It's really late and we're alone…"
"I've walked out here before! The police really cracked down around here, and there's plenty of light and some people around!" Himari assured. "It's just a twenty-minute walk to my place. As long as we're quiet, there's no way my mom is going to wake up!"
Sayu didn't participate in that conversation. "Hey, I'm going to get a coke, alright?" She told her friends, who nodded as she put money into a nearby vending machine. "…?"
There was a nearby garbage can, but there was something in the alleyway by it that caught her attention. Something… fell by it. Sayu blinked, grabbing her coke. It just happened to be on her way, but she noticed what had fallen was a notebook. Huh? Sayu thought, walking over. She looked up… there were some residential apartments by it, but the lights were all off. What brought her attention was what was written on the front: English was her only good subject, so she was able to immediately make it out.
Death Note
Some kind of band or something? Maybe Sumire knows, she thought to herself, picking it up. … Oh God, I'm picking up trash, grossgrossgross! But it looks clean… Sayu's curiosity got the better of her, flipping it open with one hand. There appeared to be rules, and in the light around her she saw one sentence clearly: The human whose name is written in this note will die.
Probably… something related to a manga or anime? Like this is something from an anime, right? Kinda macabre… but I actually need another notebook, maybe it won't hurt…
"Heeey, Sayu! What's holding you up!?" Ichika yelled, grabbing her attention.
"Found a book on the ground!" Sayu went out with her backpack still, and quickly put it in. Finder's keepers, right?
"At least we can sleep in tomorrow," Sumire said. "I just want to sleep without setting our alarms…"
"We should do at least some studying tomorrow though," Himari said. "But all the same, let's sleep in!"
The group talked about something as Sayu thought of other things. The person who's name is written in this book will die… ugh, how macabre! I should just toss the stupid thing, and she was about to.
"Hey, look. Some kids out past their bedtime."
Sayu felt her heart sink however, hearing engines rev nearby. Several of them: and very close by. "Hey, Takuo, look!"
"Hey, hey, kids! Come on, why you out so late?" One man (Takuo, Sayu realized) said with a laugh, not getting off his bike. He was a man with large teeth, and wore sunglasses despite it being night. Ichika and Sumire shrunk a little, hiding behind Himari who only glared at the men.
"None of your business. We're going home, so leave us alone," Sumire said with narrowed eyes.
"Come on, don't you want to party with some grownups?" Takuo said with a laugh, leering down at Sumire. Sayu froze, unsure of what to do. Call dad. No, dad won't get here in time. Call the police. If we call the police they'll run off, she reasoned.
"Hey now. Why you look so scared?" One tall man said, smiling down at Sayu, before snatching her cell phone out of her hand. And in that moment time seemed to completely stand still for Sayu, unable to process the world around her. There was screaming and yelling, laughter, and then flashing lights.
"Sayu."
"Sayu."
"Sayu!"
I want to disappear.
I can't do anything, I'm helpless.
Just an ordinary person. I think I'm gonna die I think they're gonna kill me oh God oh God oh God I'm gonna die I'm gonna die I'm gonna die I don't wanna die help me help me someone dad Light mama please anyone please
"SAYU!"
She finally snapped out of it at a familiar voice ringing in her ears, snapped open. No, Sayu realized, they had been open the whole time- she just had essentially blacked out for a few minutes. "… Otosan?"
Yagami Soichiro gave her a hard look before hugging her. "… Otosan. Why… are you here…?"
"Those are suspects in an ongoing case. Seeing you like this was a coincidence," he said, getting back up and facing her friends. Sayu could see only Himari kept her composure, while Ichika cried and Sumire was shaking. "I'm taking you kids home and talking to your parents, understood?" All four nodded, unable to talk against Soichiro.
The car ride was quiet as Soichiro dropped off each one, leaving only her and Sayu in the car. "… I'm sorry," Sayu squeaked out. "I- I'm sorry, Otosan," she said after he left the car for several minutes.
"I know this was Himari's idea, Sayu. But that doesn't change the fact you never should have done this," Soichiro scolded. "Take deep breaths, Sayu," he told her, as her breathing was still shaking.
"If you- if you hadn't- if you didn't show up I- I- I- I swear-"
"It's over now, Sayu," Soichiro said. "I'm disappointed in you," he didn't mince his words though. "Not angry, disappointed," and Sayu winced- that was far worse than being told 'I'm mad at you.' "You know. Light never got into this kind of trouble," and that made her stomach sink even lower. Don't. Please don't compare me to Light. "You're not the same as Light, but dammit, Sayu…"
Even in her most terrified moment, she felt like she was in Light's shadow. And it was deserved- he never would've been in this situation in a million years. Light had friends, sure, but even in middle school they'd visit their house instead. And Light would never sneak out like this either. Whatever might have happened if her father hadn't appeared, it was never a scenario Yagami Light had to worry about. When he was her age, he was already starting to show an interest in solving cases and police work while she was getting D's in math. I don't want to let anyone down, I'm just, I'm only me…
"Sayu…"
"Otosan?"
"Until the end of next week, come straight home after school, you understand? No calling or texting your friends outside of school."
"… Huh?" Sayu blinked. "That's… that's… it?" Sayu immediately winced at saying that, but she felt surprised.
"I called your mother. I saw how terrified you were, Sayu," while his voice was still firm and strict, there was compassion in Soichiro's voice. "… You'll never do anything like that ever again, will you?" Sayu nodded so hard it almost hurt her head, and Soichiro sighed. "Don't you dare think of this as getting off the hook, either. You're helping your mother with more chores around the house too. But I think the terror of what you felt- I'm not going to call that a punishment, but I think you've learned enough. But I'll be damned if I don't say you can get away with it without being punished."
Sayu nodded, keeping her head own. "Thank you."
Soichiro sighed again. "This used to be a safe block, too," he couldn't help but mutter. "You're lucky, Sayu. That man has a warrant for abducting a woman, Shibuimaru Takuo… the sooner we get him off the streets, the better," Sayu felt her heart sink into her throat once he said that. "Sayu, I know you want your freedom as a teenager. But you're still too young to just walk around like this, late at night too! And lying about it! You need to think about your future, Sayu!"
"I know, otosan! I'm sorry! I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry!" Sayu exclaimed, and her father went quiet again.
"I don't think I've ever been this disappointed in you."
There it was. Something far worse than "I'm angry with you," "I'm disappointed in you." Compared to that, Sayu felt like a much harsher punishment would have been preferable. I wonder if kaasan and otosan have ever been disappointed in Light? Probably not, she assumed.
In the end she was an ordinary girl and someone who followed the crowd, too. And after this, she was determined to fall in-line and not make problems. Alright, Sayu! Starting tomorrow, you're more careful than ever! She told herself.
After quiet ride home she tried to head straight to her room, only to be stopped by Sachiko. "… Thank God you're OK, Sayu," her mother said while hugging her, and Sayu eagerly returned the hug.
"I'm- I'm sorry kaasan, I'm- I'm really sorry."
"I know you are… you're still in trouble, but from now on, just please, please be safe. I was so worried when your father called!
"I- I'm sorry…"
Sayu threw her backpack against the wall, sighing as she plopped down in her bed, only to hear a knock at her door. Oh, come on, I want to sleep… "Yeah?"
"Can I come in?"
Light. "'Course."
Sayu had to admit when he entered her room: her brother was the most extraordinary person she thought she'd ever meet. He was a genius, there was no other way to put it. When he was her age he was easily smarter than any highschooler, and when entering high school that easily became smarter than any adult. Of course he'll be the chief when dad retires, she thought to herself. If he retires, a thought intruded into her mind, and she shook her head. Like her mother, she was… worried for him.
"… Be more careful, Sayu," and there it was.
"I know, I know."
"Crime is on the rise, Sayu," they had discussed it at the table at dinner many times, she was well aware. Sayu nodded. It was very easy she realized that night- you always hear about bad things happen to other people all the time. But then it happened to you, and it seemed like something impossible. "Just… I'm your big brother, I'm worried too."
"Thanks, oniichan. It won't happen again," Sayu said. "I promise, no matter what. I won't let that happen to me ever again."
"Good," Light said with a smile, walking over and giving a quick ruffle to her hair.
"H-hey! Quit it!"
"Make me."
Sayu laughed, swatting his hand away. "Stooooop!" And Light smiled too. He did it often when they were little, not so much now. "I'm going to be in high school, you can't tease me like that!"
"Then stay safe, Sayu!"
It was meant to reassure her, but it still stung. You're disappointed too, aren't you? Sayu thought. "I'm probably going to be busy with chores tomorrow but umm…"
"I'll help you with your math homework, of course."
"Thanks, Light!"
"Goodnight, Sayu."
If nothing else that had helped brighten her mood a bit. When she was little, her brother was her hero. There was nothing Light couldn't do, nothing in this world. Even their father felt almost… ordinary in his own ways, but she assumed it was because she saw Light more.
But now she was older and knew that her father and brother were also just people. It was normal for little siblings to practically worship their older brothers and sisters- it's just that Light especially deserved it. And soon he'd be joining the force too…
Working long nights and hours in a dangerous job.
She bit her lip, watching Light starting to walk away. Maybe if I get lucky, I'll have a real shoujo high school life. I'll meet someone in my first or third year, we'll have that love-hate thing going on for a while, then I'll marry him and I can be a perfect housewife after, she thought to herself, looking at Light's back. "Ah, Light! Wait! Before you go, um… what do you think I'm… good at?"
"Good at?" Light blinked while looking at her. "What do you mean?"
"Like… I dunno. What talents or anything do you think I have, oniichan? That I can apply myself to?" Sayu asked.
"Well… academically, you're good at English. You speak and read it much better than other kids your age, almost as good as I did," Sayu didn't say anything at that- Almost as good as I did. That was a generous compliment: her English was good, but she still needed time to speak it and was much better at reading it. Light practically spoke it as perfectly as Japanese by her age. "If you want to hone that… maybe you should consider going into translation? There's always going to be people who need to transcribe English to Japanese, and vice versa," Light mused.
She waited, hoping he'd say something else. "Based on your academics and the like, I think that's the skill you should apply yourself in. Thinking about your future, Sayu?"
He had said it too. "Just… trying to figure it out. I got time, you know? But still…"
Light nodded at her. "Well, that's just my two cents. Anything else, Sayu?"
"No. Goodnight, Light."
"Goodnight."
Yeah. She was an ordinary person, so it made sense that if she applied herself to a skill, it should be that.
With that in mind, she tried to drift off to sleep, but found herself far too restless to do so. Ugh, at least tomorrow is Sunday… She thought to herself. Hopefully she'd tire herself out, but for now, she didn't lie alone in the dark of that same night something bad might have happened to her. She turned on a lamp and instinctively tried to reach for her phone- before remembering her father had taken it until Monday. Her normal homework was done, and she just needed Light's help with math…
… Hm.
She went through her backpack, taking out the odd notebook and setting it down. If nothing else it felt like a nice quality notebook. Maybe she could put stickers on it to hide the macabre text? But it had further rules inside. "Let's see, let's see…" Sayu said quietly to herself.
The human whose name is written in this note shall die. This note will not take effect unless the writer has the subject's face in mind when writing his/her name. This is to prevent people who share the same name from being affected.
If the cause of death is written within 40 seconds of the subject's name, it will happen.
If the cause of death is not specified, the subject will die of a heart attack.
After writing the cause of death, the details of death should be entered within the next six minutes and 40 seconds.
"Yeesh… how gross…" Sayu muttered to herself. This was either some kind of prank, or probably something from some shounen she wasn't reading. She looked at her laptop, slowly opening it. Yes, her dad and mom hadn't confiscated it, but she imagined they'd be unhappy if she used it. But curiosity got the better of her, and she tried to google "Death Note" in both English and Japanese. Beyond just some stuff about suicide letters and threatening notes, she found nothing. So, it's some prank? Jeez, they put a LOT of thought into it… Sayu thought, sighing. Man! Even if I put stickers and stuff on it, I'd have to cover up so much! That's annoying! She thought. Well, I can just remove all the paper and keep it as loose leaf paper, right? I guess I'll go buy a new notebook on Monday after all, Sayu reasoned.
But still. Killing someone just by writing their name down, huh? She thought about the events of that night, and that thug so freely roaming the streets. Maybe this was meant to vent out frustrations? It'd be a problem if Light or her father or anyone else saw it, but…
"…"
She opened it up, thinking of Shibuimaru Takuo. "Hmmm…" Aw man, what's the kanji for that? She thought. There was something about a rule about the notebook not working if it was misspelled more than four times. Why am I even acting like it's real? I just want to blow some steam, she thought, writing down a few things, but it all came out to the same message:
Shibuimaru Takuo. Traffic accident. It hurts.
It was a mean, spiteful thing to do- but it was aimed at a terrible person, and honestly? Sayu didn't feel proud to admit it, but imagining that rotten man be hit by a car really helped her calm down a bit.
Hey, maybe I'll keep it around after all, she thought to herself with a little laugh, before nestling under her covers, finally feeling the desire to sleep overtake her. Tomorrow is a new day, Sayu! The first day of the new and improved cautious Sayu!
Sayu should have expected her mom to wake her up early. Didn't know why she didn't, but sure enough, Sachiko woke her up early to help with chores. Well, it's what I thought I'd do anyways, Sayu admitted to herself. She helped prepare a simple breakfast for her father and made the coffee as well. If I do just end up marrying and taking over the house, I should start cooking with kaasan more, Sayu thought, looking at Sachiko as she prepared miso soup.
"Here you go, otosan," Sayu said, and her father smiled and nodded as he took his food.
"Thank you, Sayu," he said. Her father had never been one for big breakfasts, but on workdays it was important to keep his strength up- but on this one day a week he always preferred something light for the stomach.
She plopped down on the couch and glanced at the news. Sayu never liked thinking about things like that, it was always so… bleak. J-dramas and pop idols and shoujo was what she paid the most attention too on TV. But for today, she'd just watch whatever was on, when she wasn't helping with chores.
But then it happened. Something that Sayu would recall much later as the moment her life truly changed.
"We've received confirmation of the victim as 26-year-old Shibuimaru Takuo, a local to the neighborhood with multiple outstanding warrants."
Both Soichiro's and Sayu's eyes were glued to the screen. No way, Sayu thought. He- no way that's no way how what- her mind was racing as the reporter went onwards.
"Takuo was reported as speeding on his motorcycle with several accomplices, before losing control of his motorcycle before being run over by a semi-truck…"
"Christ," Soichiro said, standing up. "Sachiko- I'm going to make a few calls."
"Soichiro, please! It's your day off!"
"I know, but this man had been giving us trouble. I won't go down to the office, but let me make a few calls," Soichiro said, getting up. "Sayu… are you OK?" he asked, looking towards his daughter.
"He's dead."
Sayu stared blankly at the TV. Less than 12 hours ago he was alive. Now he was dead. Dead from a traffic accident. Right after she wrote his name in the Death Note. "He tried to kidnap me and how he's dead."
"Soichiro," Sachiko began, walking over to him and their daughter. "It can wait until tomorrow," she said with an unpleased tone, putting a hand on Sayu's shoulder.
"… You're right, Sachiko. Sayu…" Soichiro said as he looked at his only daughter. "I'm sorry- just… well. You're safe from him now, Sayu," Soichiro said, before giving his daughter a hug that she did not return.
She felt nauseous. "I, um, uhhh… I… I…"
Sayu sprinted to her room. She heard her parents yell for her but she didn't reply back, slamming the door behind her and locking it. "Ahhh…!" The notebook was still on her desk, and she flipped it open to the first page. It was still there. "I, I… no. Nononono, that's impossible," she whispered to himself. He was a motorcycle punk that almost kidnapped several schoolgirls on the street. If anyone would run into a truck it was him. She looked at it though, it hurts.
He was apparently launched off his bike, that huge truck's tires ran over him and-
No! Why are you even thinking about this!? Sayu thought. Some asshole died because he doesn't deserve to drive a bike! If anything I should be feeling bad for the guy in the truck! Why… I didn't kill anyone! I couldn't kill anyone! Her breathing was shaky, and there was a knock. With a gasp she threw the notebook under her bed, making her way to the door. "Y-yeah?"
"Sayu, please!" Sachiko said. "It's OK! You can come out!"
"I-I feel a little- a little sick. Kaasan, please, I want to lie down a bit," Sayu pleaded. "I-I just, let me take a nap please!" Sayu pleaded.
"I… alright, dear… just please, please call if you need anything," Sachiko said, giving her daughter from space. This worked enough. A teenage girl shooken up after this, that was good. Just an ordinary teenager who just received shocking news.
The rest of the day was a blur to her.
Of course, it was all she and her friends could talk about on Monday on their way to school.
"He… right after that, he just died that night, can you believe that!?" Ichika said, who looked especially nervous. "I… I got myself some pepper spray last night just in case we saw him again…"
"Couldn't have happened to a nicer person," Sumire said, her eyes narrowed. "People like that- they just deserve to disappear, you know!? We were just trying to have a good night!"
"Hey, come on, Sumire-chan…" Himari said. "Let's… let's try not to talk like that, alright?" Himari always tried her best to keep things cool in their group.
"… My papa said that he had been making issues for a while," Sayu finally said. "He wasn't a major criminal, but was making a lot of problems in that neighborhood."
"Then I say we just be happy he's dead and move on!" Sumire said.
"I- isn't it a little macabre to be happy someone's dead?" Ichika said. "I mean, I'm glad he's not… around anymore, but.."
"It's just what people like him and Shintani Yoshinori deserve," Sumire said. That was enough to quell the rest of the group, who knew better than to press her on this. Sayu remembered her father working on that case three years ago- a jealous ex of the fiancée of Sumire's older brother who murdered him and his pregnant fiancée. There were a lot of problems in the case though, and his trial was still ongoing with a high probability of a very light sentence. She remembered how much Sumire used to rant at how so many criminals could get death penalty but that he'd be out free one day, the lack of justice, and even her father had been inclined to agree with that sentiment. The normally carefree, normal girl had developed rather… strong opinions on the death penalty and crime since then. "What, you guys think someone like him wouldn't kill kids like us?"
"Nobody's saying that, Sumire," Himari said. "Just… it's done. He's dead and we're all safer. If we're safer because he's dead then let's just leave it be, alright? I don't want to think about it, do you guys really want to dwell on it too?" Sumire looked ready to object, but saw her friends not speaking up.
They didn't talk much on the way to school.
Sayu's weak was uneventful. She kept the notebook hidden in her room, and tried her best not to think of it: but every single day of the week of November 20 2006, she did. But after two days her friends were back to their normal gossip- this time about a rumor that Misa-Misa might start dating Hideki Ryuga, with her and Sumire being adamant that Misa-Misa wouldn't go for him.
After school on Thursday, November 23, however, something else happened.
"The assailant who attacked six people at a busy shopping district in Shinjuku yesterday has struck again. We have confirmed he has taken eight hostages in a daycare, including both children and teachers. The police have identified the subject as 42-year-old Otoharada Kuro, currently unemployed. We expect negotiations to begin immediately..."
"How awful…" Sachiko also didn't enjoy how bleak the news usually was, but she still tried to watch a little. It was after school and Sayu was trying to read a book for class on the couch, and felt herself drawn to the news report. What a scumbag! Taking kids hostage, seriously, what's with people in this city willing to hurt kids just to get their way!? … But that's how it is everywhere. 'We wouldn't ever hurt a kid or women,' that's something you only see in manga and stuff, Sayu mused. Someone like that…
"People like that- they just deserve to disappear, you know!?"
Sumire's words rung in her head and Sayu stood upright. That book… the Death Note. Her plan had been to quietly get rid of it on garbage day. It was just a bad prank, but… What if it's real? Sayu shook her head, as if trying to force the thought out of her head. I can't just get rid of something that dangerous right? Gah, why am I even thinking about this!?
She bit on her lip before returning to her room for a second, taking the notebook from its hiding place under the bed with a few other magazines on top of it. Why was she thinking about this? It was a dumb prank. Coincidences. That's all. And she had only written in it because she as upset and needed to vent. In the one-in-ten-trillion chance this worked, it would make her a killer, wouldn't it?
Hidden inside one of her makeup magazines, she walked into the hallway (she also heard the TV from Light's room, knowing that he was probably watching it while studying). She opened it up as if she was really reading it.
It was just a prank.
All of this was a joke.
That's it, that's all! This is… she was pissed at this guy too. With his face on the screen, she wrote it down quickly.
Otoharada Kuro
Before hurrying to her room to put the book inside, before scurrying out to the hallway where she could look at the news without sitting next to her mother. I'm being stupid. Hey congrats Sayu, you just tried to kill someone with a prank notebook. Maybe I gotta see a therapist, Sayu thought to herself, looking at a wall on the clock. Should be about… five… four… three… two… one…
The news just went on as normal. Well duh, of course so. Why did I even do that? She rolled her eyes before turning around to head to her room.
"Wait, hold on, something is happening…"
Sayu blinked as she looked around. Huh?
"The hostages… they're coming out! They all appear to be unharmed!"
"Oh, thank goodness…" Sachiko said on the couch. "Thank God none of those children were hurt!"
I, what? How? Did he just let them go…
"We're receiving reports… the suspect, Otoharada, is dead! The police have confirmed the death of Otoharada Kuro! According to one of the teachers, he simply dropped dead…"
Sayu got dizzy.
Sayu ran to her room, locking it behind her. Nowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowaynowayimpossiblenowayimpossibleunrealnotrealdreamingnightmaresnonononononononononono-
Did the notebook work? Did it actually kill people? Coincidence. Just, it's just more, it's just more coincidences! That guy was probably high, right!? He ODed probably! Sayu tried to reason. Magic isn't real! There's no way you can kill someone with a notebook like that! Yeah! It's not real! I just- I know- I know what I'll do-
She flipped her laptop open, frantically googling a name. Shintani Yoshinori. She looked at the face of the man who had ruined her friend's life, grasped her pen and flipped open the notebook. As of this moment, she was incapable of thinking rationally. She breathed hard as she furiously wrote down that name and slammed it shut. See. He won't die. That guy was healthy as an ox and he'll be fine tomorrow but if he dies he'll have deserved it but he won't die he can't die shouldn't die even if he should he's just this thing isn't real and now I know for sure tomorrow I'll know for sure ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Sayu dove under her covers once more.
If something happens Sumire would tell us. But it'll be fine tomorrow everything goes back to normal.
"It happened! Last night! He died! That bastard Yoshinori died!"
Sumire was ecstatic when she viewed her friends, while Sayu only stared at her. Hours later she mused on the absurdity of writing another name in the notebook like that, but now, he was dead too. The person who had ruined one of her best friend's families was dead. After her wrote his name down. "It happened in the afternoon! He just… dropped dead after clutching his chest! They're saying it was a heart attack!"
Sayu had nothing to say as her friends discussed it. She was glad all eyes were on Sumire right now, because anyone that had been focusing on her would see her shook to her core.
"He's dead! I- I wish he had died in prison, he deserved to hang, but it's over! I… I wish the state had done it, so they could say it was justice, but he's dead! It's… it's finally all over!" Sumire collapsed to her needs, and Himari kneeled down to comfort her. "I'm saved- no more- no more wondering if he'll get off, no worrying he'll be bout in 20 years after killing my brother and his family! I… I feel so light now. I'm saved. I'm finally saved. I can finally- I can finally stop worrying, everyone-!"
Saved.
She's saved? Because he died? But… it wouldn't bring her family back. Her family is still dead.
But… him dying helps her feel at peace? What…
She went through the daze in mostly a daze, and when she got home, the first thing she did was empty the contents of her stomach in the bathroom toilet before rushing to her room and locking the door.
I killed three people in one week. Oh my God, I killed people. I. I'm a murderer. Oh my God, I'm a murderer.
Sayu held the Death Note with shaking hands. It's real. This isn't some prank, it's real! A real. Magic notebook oh my God I used a magic notebook to kill people! The urge to scream welled up in her throat. Who do I tell? Otosan? No. Nononono. He might- he'll have to arrest me, right? Maybe he knows what to do. He can probably get me a good lawyer. What about Light? He'll think I'm joking but if I tell him the times of death, he'll probably try to investigate it himself. He'll take it off my hands and save me. Wait, this is a murder weapon, I can't get rid of it! But, it's a notebook. Who can trace those three deaths back to me, anyways? No, it's not about that! If you kill someone you have to get arrested! But… it's not like I meant to! I didn't even think it'd work! But it doesn't matter if you're drunk and think you weren't going to kill anyone when driving, a drunk driver still killing someone is killing someone! But I'm not a drunk driver, and I'm only fourteen and all I did was write names in this notebook! Oh God, what do I do!?
But she thought of Sumire again.
I saved Sumire, didn't I? They said… the most they would ever arrest that guy for was assault and breaking and entering charges. And that guy, he took a daycare hostage. A daycare! And he was a murderer, and I… I got everyone out safely, didn't I? Nonono, why am I justifying this!?
I mean yeah, lots of bad people get away with crimes. And there isn't a lot of justice, but that means the system needs to be fixed! Someone like Light if he goes from the police into politics could change all that. This is- this is an evil magic murder notebook! It sounds absurd but, you can't save people with this! I… well… you can't save people, but… revenge? Revenge is a kind of justice in its own way. Judgment, revenge… in shounen anime there's always those heroes, teenage boys who save the entire world. They fight the bad guys and save everyone all the time. But the real world isn't an anime. You can't usually save people before the bad things happen. That's why the police are there, sometimes they can prevent stuff, but they usually arrest the bad guys after the bad thing has happened…
I… why am I thinking about things like this!? It's murder! You can't kill people! You can't justify killing people! It's one thing if its self-defense but… and well. The police do to defend themselves too. And the justice system can do it too, right…
Sayu closed her eyes. Why am I trying to rationalize this? The best thing I can do is put this thing through a shredder and be done with it! I… could it be I don't… want to get rid of it? I mean, a magic notebook that kills people… I don't want to hurt people, but it's good to keep around, right? What if… there's some kind of situation like Yoshinori and Kuro? Just… take them out. No. Nonononono. This is dangerous. This is dangerous thinking! I got to, I got to give it to Light right away! I…
She collapsed on her bed.
Ohhh…
Sayu fainted, passing out from the stress of it all.
In Sayu's dream, she was chased by ghosts.
"YOU KILLED ME!"
"YOU LITTLE BITCH, I JUST WANTED TO TAKE YOU FOR A RIDE!"
"WHAT THE HELL!? I WASN'T EVEN CONVICTED YET!"
"LEAVE ME ALONE!"
Sayu was running down an endless corridor with the three men she had killed following her. "I'M SORRY! I DIDN'T KNOW YOU'D DIE, LEAVE ME ALONE! PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE!"
But they didn't relent, grabbing onto her and pulling on her. "OTOSAN! ONIICHAN! KAASAN! ANYONE, PLEASE, SAVE ME!"
She was crying as the men screamed more at her, before seeing something by her feet. A notebook. With her only free hand she picked it up and swung it at them. "IT'S YOUR OWN FAULTS ANYWAY! IF YOU DIDN'T DO HORRIBLE FUCKED UP SHIT, YOU WOULDN'T BE DEAD ANYWAYS! GO AWAY!"
They disappeared once hit with the notebook.
In the distance, there was a light. She ran towards it, hoping to get to somewhere safe.
She saw Sumire, children, and some teachers, all looking happy.
"All the bad people are dead now…"
Sayu collapsed on her knees.
I…
Did I…
Save them…?
The dream was brief, and she woke up only an hour later. "…" Despite it all, she felt much more rested.
The rest of that evening was not spent studying. She simply stared at her notebook, the three names, and stayed quiet. She sat in that chair for hours, doing nothing but looking at the three names until her mother called her for dinner.
"… Otosan, you heard, right? The guy that killed Sumire's family also died yesterday."
"I did, yes," Soichiro said. "Prison took a bit of a toll on him, but he was still in good physical condition with no medical history. To just drop dead like that…"
"And there was no chance it was a suicide, otosan?" Light asked.
"None. I even saw some camera footage," Soichiro said. "At least hopefully now Shinjuku will be just a little safer with two local criminals gone," Socihiro said, before taking a bite of rice. "Still. It's a shame we couldn't bring them to trial."
"What's it matter for, though?" Sayu asked without meaning to, before seeing all eyes on her. "I-I mean… people are safer now, that's what matters the most, right?"
Socihiro didn't seem upset by her words, but shook his head. "It's not just about that, Sayu. The courts are important in all of this. We need to show by trial that there are consequences for your actions… otherwise it's just murder."
"But that guy who killed Sumire's family didn't even get murder charges. How was that fair to her? We all KNOW he did it…"
"I understand your frustrations Sayu, and you know what? I was so angry I remember punching the wall when I saw what they were actually charging him for. But things like this aren't up to you and me… we're a society with a laws, and we have to follow and enforce them," he really was as good a cop as any could be.
"It feels so… helpless," Sayu admitted. Her mother frowned, squeezing her leg, and that earned a smile in return.
"I don't blame you Sayu," Light admitted. "There definitely are some loopholes in all of this… and things that need to be changed. But we can't really do much. The best we can do is bring them in, and hope for the best once they go to trial."
That's it? Sayu thought. That's really all we can do?
"We're only human," Sachiko said. "We're powerless against most things… but we have each other and the law on our side, and we can take comfort in that, Sayu," Sachiko said with a smile to try to assure her daughter.
The law wouldn't have helped me if dad hadn't shown up to save me.
"… I'm sorry everyone, I'm not too hungry. Can I be excused?" When there were no objections, she retreated to her room.
People are helpless.
People like otosan and oniichan have to work inside the law because they're just normal humans who can't do anything more… but…
But.
Just, but…
You know, until all of this, it never really occurred to me. Just how many rotten people there really are.
Light and otosan are heroes. But they're ordinary heroes.
But maybe… just maybe…
"I'm going to go study in my room alone, alright?"
A few days later, Sayu had gotten home in time before it started raining.
"Do you want a snack or anything, Sayu?" Sachiko asked her daughter.
"Nooooo thank you! The more-cautious-and-improved Sayu is trying to cut down on that!" Sayu said, making her way to her room and locking it behind her.
I don't need a snack or anything. Everything I could ever want is right here in this room. "Ahaha…"
She took out a key she kept on her to unlock a drawer, taking out the Death Note before sitting on her bed. Everything I've ever wanted is right here, in this notebook.
It was her's.
This was her's.
Everything this book was, it was her's now.
"Hyuk, hyuk! You've sure taken a liking to it, haven't you?"
"Huh…?"
Sayu's eyes widened as she saw a figure had entered her room. "AHHHH!" She screamed, scrambling and falling off her bed. Still on the floor, she scurried until her back was against the wall. "M-Monster-!"
"No need to act surprised!" The large, dark figure said. Sayu could see it was humanoid, but… it was no human. Absolutely not. "Allow me to introduce myself! I'm the Shinigami, Ryuk. And that… used to be my notebook."
"… Y… your… notebook… t-the Death Note…"
"Yup! And judging by how you were acting… I bet you figured out that's no ordinary notebook, didn't you?" the figure, Ryuk said, walking towards her.
"I… I…" Sayu took a deep beath before getting up. "S-sorry, you caught me off guard, but… if we're being honest, Shinigami-san… should I call you that?"
"Ryuk is fine."
"Ryuk… I've been expecting something like you. Anyone, really," Sayu admitted. "Something dropped this book… I figured that it's owner would come to try to find it," Sayu said.
"You know… several Death Notes have fallen to the human world in the past, but you're the first one to write two full pages," Ryuk said, looking at the notebook. With the exception of the three she had first killed, there was a single full page with names in Japanese and English. "Most people just kill a few, if at all! With four rows for each page… you've killed quite a few in just over a week."
"I've been… a bit busy," Sayu admitted. "I knew the notebook belonged to a Shinigami. And I used it, knowing there'd probably be a price… I won't regret it though," Sayu took another deep breath. "So… is this it? Do you spirit me away? Kill me and take the notebook back?" Sayu asked. I won't regret it even if so!
"Huh? What are you talking about? It's yours now."
"… Huh?"
Sayu blinked a few times. "… What? Seriously?"
"Is that a superstition you humans came up with? I'm not going to do anything to you. You picked up the notebook after it fell to the human world, and now it's part of the human world. It's yours, now."
"Without restrictions? Or anything? It's just mine?"
"Unless you want to give up ownership or something, though. If you do, I'll take it back, and take away your memories of the Death Note as well. It's like you'd go back to how it was before all this. You could also just give it to somebody else, but you'd also lose your memories."
"No- I don't want that-!" Sayu pleaded. "I'm just… I thought there'd be a catch. That the Shinigami would take my soul, or I'd have to do errands for them to keep the Death Note…"
"Hyuk, hyuk, hyuk! Well, if you want to look at it that way, I wouldn't mind if you got apples for the terrible God of Death…"
"D-don't joke! I'm trying to make sense of this!"
"What's there to make sense of? You used it thinking there was a catch… and now you're mad there isn't? You humans are quite queer, I'll give you that."
"I can use the Death Note as much as I want and there won't be a penalty?" Sayu asked. "It's truly just my property?"
"Use it however you want, as much as you want, when you want. For a penalty… all there is to this. When it is time for you to die, I will be the one to write down your name in my Death Note. And you will understand a terror known only to those who have used the notebook. And be warned, any human who has used the Death Note can never enter heaven nor hell."
Sayu was quiet, before chuckling again. "That's fine. I don't mind that. Terror for my goals. Terror for my ideal. No afterlife either… I can live with that too," Sayu mused. Then, there was a knock on her door
"Hey, Sayu, okaasan got some apples. You want one?"
Sayu glanced at Ryuk, starting to sweat in nervousness. "Don't worry… only people who have touched the Death Note can see or hear me."
She gulped, answering the door. "T-thanks, oniichan," Sayu said, taking the last apple.
"Why is it so dark in here when you're studying? … Oh, trying to take a nap?"
"Ehehe… you caught me. Just want to rest my eyes for a bit!"
"Don't forget to do your homework, Sayu."
"Come on, oniichan! You're not our parents!" Sayu said while puffing her cheek to pout, earning a laugh before she closed the door again. OK, good. He didn't expect anything… "Hey, Ryuk? … Hey, my apple!"
"Human apples are so… juicy. Definitely worth the trip!"
"Shinigami-san… sorry, Ryuk… I need to ask… why me?" Sayu asked. "Why did you drop it by me? Why did you choose someone as ordinary as me to use the notebook? Did you know that guy was going to attack me and my friends?"
"Huh? You think you were chosen or something?" The Shinigami said, before laughing.
"Please just answer me!"
"I dropped it by chance. That was all. You just happened to be the person who picked it up."
Sayu's world felt like it stood still for a moment. "I… just… chance? You just dropped it and anyone could pick it up?"
"You're not special or unique. You picking it up was an accident. That's why I wrote the instructions in English, the most common language in your world."
"T-then why!? You dropped it expecting someone to pick it up!?"
"Why, you ask? Well, that's simple. It was because I was bored."
Sayu couldn't believe what she just heard. "Bored? You dropped something this powerful because you were bored?"
"Truth be told… the world of the Shinigami isn't what it used to be. There's nothing to do but gamble and sleep. If you write down names in your notebook, you get laughed at for working so hard. We can't kill each other even with our Death Notes, and since we live in our own world it doesn't' bring us any particular amusement to write down the names of humans except for a small sadistic few… and they're usually too lazy to do it. So, I thought I'd drop that notebook, and see the human world for myself. Kill some time."
Chance, Sayu thought to herself. All of this was just… pure, random luck. That's all it was… just chance. But that's good… that's really good, actually.
"But here's what I don't get. Other than the first guy you killed, you only wrote down his cause of death. Why is that? Usually, humans who find a Death Note kill with accidents, but not you."
"Because it has a default method, a heart attack… that's the best thing about the notebook, Ryuk!" Sayu said, her smile returning. "I've already taken out most of Japan's worst criminals, and even some international criminals the American FBI was investigating… I've already taken out a chunk of the world's worst criminals. And I'm going to keep killing them, Ryuk. And when people see that all these criminals are dying the same way… they'll start noticing. They'll see that someone is specifically targeting criminals. Japan's and America's worst and some terrorists… this is just the beginning, Ryuk. You came just in time for the real show. This is the point right before I start taking out all of the world's worst criminals, all with heart attacks."
"And what is the point in that? In being noticed? Usually, the thing humans who use the Death Note like most about it is the fact you can kill people in freak accidents."
"Because I want the world to know. The truth of the matter is… I wasn't bored, Ryuk, but I was complacent."
"Oh?"
"I was fine with just being an ordinary girl. I'd get a modest job or something, or just become a housewife. I like hanging out with my friends and leaving worrying about complicated things to people like my brother and father. But… I was attacked the night I got this. And I started realizing, there's a lot of rotten people in the world. We just don't really pay attention to those awful things until it happens to us. I wrote down the first name to vent steam, and then the others to test it… and then I realized something. I saved one of my best friends. That man was going to practically get away with it, and I killed him. I murdered him. And in doing so… saved my friend. How many other people in the world feel that there's no justice against their loved ones? How many are just… watching the world turn around because they're powerless to do anything about it?"
"So that's your goal? You're going to change the world?"
"Hey, Ryuk… have you heard of the concept of a superhero?"
"I'm aware of it."
"See… we love those kinds of things. In the American comic books, the superheroes always fight the supervillains and beat them before they ruin everything. And over here in Japan, we have tons of anime and manga of heroes who save the people every time. But those kinds of heroes can't exist in the real world. The truth of the matter is, most of the time, police only capture their targets after the crime has been committed. Only after people are hurt! It's impossible to save most people when it happens, but… I can make sure those people are avenged now. The people cry for justice, and I can answer that call now. For people like Sumire, and everyone else in the world hurt by evil… and as they realize that the wicked are dying, I'm sure crime rates will decrease. Once they realize there's somebody in this world striking down evil with righteous judgment!"
"Quite the idealist, you!"
"I realized… it's like. When you hold the notebook, it makes you want to try it, you know? I did it the first time by accident… but then. When I saw an act of evil, I just, I HAD to use it right away! And then when I needed to know for sure if it worked, I went for one of the most wicket people I knew! I was so scared, but then it started clicking to me… I can destroy evil. I'll keep destroying evil until everyone is so scared of judgment, they'll never do evil things again."
Ryuk laughed. "So, you're just going to kill everyone you deem evil, huh?"
"Yes."
Ryuk was surprised by how quickly she replied. "Eventually, I'll start taking out lesser criminals, but that'll be in the future… I was ordinary, Ryuk. I was so ordinary. In fact, if I had picked up the notebook before I was almost kidnapped, I probably never would have used it. But look at me now. I realized… I can be something special, now. I'm not just ordinary anymore. I'm… not just like my mom and school friends anymore. Otosan and oniichan are people who do great things, extraordinary… and now, I'm also extraordinary, Ryuk. I have the power to make a difference, just like them. I can save everything in the world now… and curse everything as well. And then I can create a new world. A new world, filled with only good people who want to live in harmony… so that the world no longer needs heroes like my family. No longer needs heroes even like me. The people yearn for justice and I will answer their calls, no matter how stained my own heart has to become, Ryuk. The people in this world know that heroes like in comics and manga don't exist… and that a true hero, a realistic hero, has to be willing to get their hands dirty."
"Kyahahaha! But if you do that, won't you become the only bad person left?"
"Huuuh? Whatcha mean by that, Ryuk-kun?" Sayu smiled, putting her hands behind her back and giggling in the Shinigami's direction with the most innocent smile she could muster, the natural smile she had with her friends, before picking up the notebook. "I'm just a junior high student. I hang out with my friends at school, also fourteen. My favorite pop idol is Hideki Ryuga, but I'm also becoming a fan of this model recently turned Idol, Amane Misa. My favorite color is pink, and I have average grades in school outside of English which is an A, and my worst subject is math. Right now, my biggest goal is that if I can get an A in a math exam, my parents say I can get a TV for my room! That'd be one of the most exciting things for me… ever! Me and my friends have talked about having a trip after we graduate junior high, and we hope that last weeks fiasco won't get in the way as long as we all do good! I like shoujo anime, but as of late I've preferred live-action dramas! I'm really hoping once I get into high school too that my parents will be a little less conservative with me wearing makeup, and I have a subscription to a makeup and beauty magazine like all of my friends, and we NEVER miss an issue! And above all of that, Ryuk-kun? Because I'm not ordinary anymore, now that I'm extraordinary?"
Sayu tossed the notebook on the bed, smiling and tilting her head. She closed her eyes as she kept smiling, looking as innocent as possible.
It's just as I thought, Ryuk thought. Humans are so…
"I will become the ideal superhero that this world has yearned for and change absolutely everything."
Interesting.
Chapter 2:
Preparation