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Although he didn’t realize it at the time, Seungmin felt like he could now pinpoint the exact moment when Hyunjin began to doubt their relationship. It had been such a fleeting moment; he hadn’t even thought about it twice till now. An offhand comment made by someone who would never know the half of how much love Seungmin held for the older — would never have any idea of the passions they shared in privacy with whispered words and soft touches. Or in the comfort of their friends when they spoke of their plans of the future or the memories of the past, shared moments he held close to his heart. He had believed their love to be invincible and impenetrable, but he sees now that if he’d just looked at Hyunjin a little closer that day, he would’ve seen that his thinking was just the result of his immature love sick brain. It was foolish thinking.
He remembers it vividly.
“You’re not one for affection, huh? Or are you just not that into your partner?”
They aimed the question at Seungmin, a puzzled look making its way onto his face at the words of a coworker he’d only ever seen in quick passing. They stood around in a decorated venue set up by the company he works for, a party to celebrate everyone’s efforts in bringing profits up, or whatever. Seungmin had paid little attention during that meeting. His only thought had been of inviting Hyunjin to meet his work buddies and have a little fun.
“What do you mean?” Responded Seungmin with a confused look. His eyebrows only furrowed more when the person just gave a pointed look at where Hyunjin’s arms were wrapped around his waist. Not that Seungmin wasn’t embracing him back, but he held his drink with both hands and rested back into Hyunjin’s chest as the other placed his head on his shoulder.
The stranger chuckled, “I don’t know, just — if I had a man like that, all I’m saying is that my drink wouldn’t be my priority at the moment.”
Seungmin couldn’t help the feeling of both astonishment at the audacity and the fleeting jealousy that bubbled inside of him. “Well, then I guess it’s a good thing he’s not your man, so frankly, not your place to give opinions.” He scoffed at the stranger and turned around in Hyunjin’s arms to face away from them. He had pouted and wrapped his free arm around Hyunjin’s shoulder, staring down at his drink while he cursed the stranger a million times over in his head.
If he’d looked up at Hyunjin, he would’ve seen the sad expression of acceptance and hurt. If he focused enough, he would’ve felt the way Hyunjin’s arms around him loosened in uncertainty. If he wasn’t so oblivious, he would’ve seen in his eyes how much Hyunjin perceived the stranger's words to hold truth.
Some days he wishes he could turn back time, because maybe that stranger had seen something in Hyunjin’s face that he hadn’t. If he could go back, he’d put down that damned drink and kiss Hyunjin silly just to spite that stupid coworker whose face he can hardly recall now. Maybe Seungmin would’ve grabbed Hyunjin’s hand and left that party, admit to him that for years he’s felt insecure about how uncomfortable he sometimes got with PDA. But also clarify that he wasn’t uncomfortable because of Hyunjin, and he wasn’t embarrassed by him — how could he be? Hyunjin was the most beautiful person he’d ever met, inside and out.
Seungmin would clarify that he just couldn’t. That when he looked at Hyunjin, his heart raced so fast and his hands shook and his breath got stuck in his throat. That when he felt Hyunjin’s arms wrap around him, his legs suddenly got weak, and he found it insanely hard to focus on anything else, let alone form words to speak. Clarify that Hyunjin had nothing to worry about, that the love they had for each other could never be broken. Maybe he could even convince himself of that.
Maybe then Hyunjin wouldn’t have cut off their engagement two months before their wedding. Maybe then Seungmin wouldn’t be here trying to recover the pieces of his heart and he could instead focus on how he was so fucked financially. If he could focus through his tears for more than a second, he’d realize that maybe he wouldn’t be here trying to process how nothing was refundable and he’d soon have to break to his family how he’d need some months, to maybe a year, to pay them back for what they contributed.
How was he expected to live a life where he didn’t love Hyunjin? His entire day revolved around him. From the moment he woke up to the moment he went to sleep, Hyunjin consumed all his thoughts. It had been that way since the moment he first laid eyes on him. And yet soon Hyunjin would move out, and take all their memories with him and he’d be expected to move on with life as if they hadn’t been cuddled up in bed, all smiles and soft hearts, just two weeks ago.
Did Hyunjin really see him as a heartless and insensitive person? Did he mean it when he said Seungmin didn’t know how to love, or show his love, and that he’d made a mistake being with him for years in hopes that Seungmin’s stuck up attitude would disappear someday? Seungmin’s heart ached the worst at that. Was Hyunjin ever in love with him if he stayed in hopes Seungmin would one day change? His heart broke at that.
He could only sit here and rub away at his eyes, his lips bitten raw and trembling as his chest shook with silent sobs. Hyunjin had gone out early that morning. Nowadays he spends his entire day outside, only coming home ( did he still call it his home?) to shower or sleep. Hyunjin had long resorted to sleeping on the couch, too. Seungmin had explained that he’d be perfectly fine sleeping on the couch if it meant Hyunjin got the bed, but Hyunjin had ignored him, and Seungmin broke down at the thought that he was no longer even worth Hyunjin’s attention.
Seungmin likes to wake up early nowadays, well, earlier than he used to already, just to watch through the window as Hyunjin walks to his car and leaves for the day. It’s the only time he has the honor of seeing him. Then he goes back to his room, and he pulls out the box he has hidden in his closet, under his dirty clothes. It’s just a shoebox that’s filled with pictures of him and Hyunjin. He was scared Hyunjin might take these away along with the rest of him, rip them up, burn them, whatever he thought was appropriate. So Seungmin stuffed them in here, along with anything memorable like concert and movie tickets, receipts, a necklace, and more. He even has love letters he’d never had the courage to actually give to Hyunjin, but that held every thought his heart had ever had.
Seungmin sifts through the box and looks at everything for the millionth time that week. He recalled every memory for every piece of item and he cried. It was kind of ironic that he cried so much nowadays. He’s not even sure if he’d cried in front of Hyunjin more than a handful of times in the span of their relationship. They’d had their moments where Seungmin had let himself be vulnerable, but never like this, never this broken. The Hyunjin he knew before would probably fall to his knees at seeing him in this state. He’d probably wipe his tears, cradle his body, and reassure him he was loved. Seungmin isn’t so sure the Hyunjin he knows now would do anything more than scoff at the sight and leave the house again.
Seungmin feels so broken. It was a scary thought that he wasn’t sure he could live without Hyunjin, but the pain just felt so unbearable. Two weeks ago, he’d been planning his wedding to the love of his life. He’d been picking out what suit to wear, what roses to order, what baker to request a cake from, what venue to pick out, looking up what a reception even entailed. Two weeks ago, he’d been the happiest he’s ever been. Meanwhile, Hyunjin had been clocking out of their relationship. He’d been planning how to let Seungmin down. How to break off their entire relationship.
Seungmin sat caressing his favorite picture of them together. It was an intimate one. They’d woken up that morning and, according to Hyunjin, Seungmin looked absolutely adorable with his bed hair and swollen face. He just had to take a picture. They were tangled up together in their sheets, unable to decipher where one body ended and the other started. The warm sun was rising, but they had goosebumps along their skin from the chill of their AC. Seungmin had tilted his head up to kiss Hyunjin on the cheek, and the other’s face had scrunched up in the most adorable smile, cheeks a blushing pink.
He held that picture to his chest and sobbed. He shed tears for his lost love. How could someone seem so utterly in love and then be so willing to walk away from a relationship this way? Was Seungmin really so unbearable to be with? Had he really been so blind to his own mistakes?
He can hear the front door opening and keys jingling. It’s too early for Hyunjin to be home. He rarely came home this early, but he was the only other inhabitant here. Seungmin quickly wipes the tears off his face with the sleeve of his sweater and begins packing the shoebox back up. He stuffs it under the pile of clothes and makes sure it’s not noticeable before getting to his feet and walking over to his phone to check the time.
Just as he does so, his body jolts when the door to the bedroom opens. It’s been days since Hyunjin has even approached this room and Seungmin can’t help the way his heart races in anticipation. But when he turns, he finds that Hyunjin doesn’t even spare him a glance, just walks towards their dresser with a packing box in hand.
Seungmin wrings his fingers together nervously and finds his eyes watering at the implication of what that means. He observes Hyunjin’s side profile for a bit, admiring the way his long hair frames his face, the way the brown compliments his skin and brings out the pink of his lips. He takes in a shaky breath before he’s able to whisper out, “What are the boxes for?”
For the first time in a while, Hyunjin stills at his words, turning his head in his direction, still not looking at him directly. “I’m packing some stuff. I’d appreciate it if you left the room so I can do so in peace.”
Seungmin used to be Hyunjin’s peace. Those were the first words Hyunjin has said to him since the breakup. He wonders if maybe that means there’s hope, so he speaks up again. “Could we m-maybe talk?” He could see Hyunjin purse his lips and furrow his eyebrows, but turn back to the dresser wordlessly, so he quickly says, “O-or what if I talk and you just listen? If that’s okay? Look, Hyunjin, please —" his voice trembles and he holds back a sob as he witnesses Hyunjin taking out his noise canceling headphones from his pocket to put into his ears, tapping a few times on his phone.
Seungmin feels frozen where he stands for a few moments. It’s like his body is stuck, unable to find a will to do anything but breathe. But he can’t stay here. Hyunjin asked him to leave, and he’d do anything for Hyunjin. He’d tear out his own heart if it meant he’d be pleased. With a bated breath, he whispers out uselessly, “I know you can’t hear me, but I love you. I’ll never stop loving you. And I hope you remember that. I’ll leave because it’s what you want, but I hope you know that if you asked me to stay, I would drop anything and everything to be with you for just another moment.”
He sighs to himself and makes his way out of the room, closing the door softly, not looking back at Hyunjin for fear he might start sobbing again. Seungmin walks to the front door and puts his shoes on. He needs some fresh air. So he grabs his keys, and he walks out and he drives away in his car, away from Hyunjin, away from his home. He drives to the town’s park, the one that stretches for acres, covered in trees and beautiful flowers and winding cinematic trails. It was a place he and Hyunjin frequented. Whether it was Seungmin dragging Hyunjin out for a jog, or Hyunjin dragging him out for a picnic and painting session, where Seungmin spent his time painting out awful renditions of Hyunjin. Now he is alone, and he knows this might be the last time he sees this park.
Just the sight of it has his chest shaking as he lets out a cry, leaning his head into his steering wheel after putting the car into park. His shoulders shake as he looks up at the trees surrounding the parking lot, his hand covering his mouth to keep his sobs in. He breathes in and out a few times to calm himself down before unbuckling his seatbelt and getting out of the car, braving through the emotions to walk up to the start of his and Hyunjin’s favorite trail.
Seungmin begins the walk, wrapping his arms around himself as he shuffles along. He takes it all in. The leaves of the trees still a vibrant green, the grass and tamed flowers swaying in the light wind, the beams of light that beautifully cascade through till they meet the ground. It’s a place of so many constants in a world where Seungmin’s entire life has lost all of its constants. His life has been torn apart, but this forest still stands the same way it always has and still will many years from now.
He used to imagine that he’d adopt some kids with Hyunjin some day, and they’d bring them to this very forest to run around and be careless and free. He would hold Hyunjin’s hand as they walked behind the kids, watching over them. And they’d exchange kisses and giggle at how cute they were. He imagined it so much that it’d become one of his dreams, in the same way kids dreamed of becoming firefighters or astronauts. A pure and sincere dream. He used to think it was a future so possible he could almost taste it, yet it would now become a fruitless wish that would go unheard of.
Did Hyunjin ever dream of having kids together, too? Did he dream of taking them to this very forest? He can’t help the sigh he lets out as he strays from the trail to come to an opening in the trees that they usually had their picnics in. He sits down on the grass and then lays back after finding a good stop, his limbs all splayed out. He thinks about the last time they were here.
“Come on, Minnie. Please,” Hyunjin presses his hands together in a prayer-like way as he gives Seungmin his best doe eyes. “Let me paint you. You just have to sit how I place you, and that’s it. It’ll be super easy!”
Seungmin rolls his eyes playfully as he dramatically plops down to lie on the grass. “No. Nope. Not doing it.”
Hyunjin groans, bending forward to nuzzle at Seungmin’s neck, which has the other giggling and turning his head at the ticklish feeling. Hyunjin giggles along with him and brings up a hand to turn Seungmin’s face towards his, leaning down to kiss him passionately. Seungmin hums into the kiss and they part with a smack of lips.
“Please, baby? For me? I thought you loved me?”
Seungmin laughs, “I do love you!”
“Then let me draw you, my stubborn baby. I promise it won’t be too bothersome.”
Seungmin makes a show of thinking it over, tapping his chin in faux thought. “Ugh, fine! You win. Come, kiss me first.” He puts his palms on Hyunjin’s cheeks, pulling him forward to kiss, causing him to lose his balance and fall full-body onto Seungmin. They both laughed into their mouths, teeth clashing as they couldn’t contain themselves.
“I knew you’d give in. You couldn’t fool me.”
“Oh yeah?”
They’d made out some more before Hyunjin started his painting. Seungmin had given him an hour, which Hyunjin took with competitive strive, racing to finish the painting. If Seungmin could go back, he’d say yes immediately. He’d let Hyunjin pose him as many times as he wanted, to paint him as much as he wanted. He would’ve stayed in this opening for hours and hours, all day even, as long as it meant Hyunjin would stay with him. If it meant Hyunjin didn’t chalk this up to another one of Seungmin’s indifferent moments, he hoped would one day change.
Seungmin brings his hands up to wipe at his cheeks, growling in frustration at how much he’s been crying. With a sniffle, he briefly wonders where the painting Hyunjin made that day has gone. He hasn’t seen it around the house, but maybe he could find it, and add it to the things he’s secretly kept cherishing from his time with Hyunjin. He revels in the soft grass under him, humming as his crying calms down once again. It’s kind of funny that he always wore a mask in public, the idea of a stranger truly seeing him making him uncomfortable, and yet here he was with no regard to it anymore, not caring if any passerbys saw him so emotionally torn.
Hyunjin had been the first person he’d allowed to see all of him, who he was truly. It’d taken some time, but Hyunjin had been so patient and understanding. Hyunjin had never put any expectations on him. Their love had come naturally. It had built up gradually until neither could hold back anymore. And soon, Hyunjin had become the best choice he’d ever made in his life. It would now be his biggest mistake. Not because he made a mistake being with Hyunjin, but because he made the biggest mistake by losing him. In losing the love of his life.
He hates to think of how long Hyunjin must’ve been hurting before he broke things off. How long he must’ve laid in bed with him, hating Seungmin’s touch, hating the way his name felt leaving his lips. Seungmin should’ve known. He should’ve been better.
Seungmin sighs forlornly when the sky begins to turn an orange hue. He’d been enjoying it here, actually. Enjoying the quiet in his mind for once. The only sound being the birds and the rustle of leaves and the wind. Sometimes the distant chatter of people as they walked the trail. He sits up and splays his hands out on the ground, rubbing along the grass, hoping that the forest can feel his sorrow and sadness at saying goodbye to it. Hoping it can feel how grateful he was for the memories it granted him all these years.
He stands up and dusts his pants off, wiping at his runny nose with his sleeve and noting how he definitely needs to wash this shirt as soon as possible. He goes back through the trail, back to the car. All while looking around, wanting to enjoy the view one last time. He thinks about the kids he wanted, thinks about how much they would’ve loved this. He thinks of how he and Hyunjin have this trail memorized from the amount of times they came here. He thinks of Hyunjin’s hand in his, the way their steps always synched up, the way Hyunjin’s smile radiated with the natural lighting peaking through the trees.
He makes it to his car and starts it up. The drive back to the house is slow. He doesn’t know if Hyunjin will still be in the bedroom. If he is, he’ll simply stay out of his way. He notes how beautiful the sunset is, but he can’t find it himself to appreciate it like he normally would. Sunsets didn’t feel as beautiful anymore. They were something he and Hyunjin would sit outside in their backyard to watch. They weren’t as beautiful without Hyunjin’s face reflecting the warmth on his cheeks and in his eyes.
He pulls the car to a park once he pulls up in the driveway. Making sure there’s enough space for Hyunjin’s car to drive around him when he inevitably leaves again. A part of him happy he’s even still there. Another part of him hoping it’ll be okay to see his face just once more today before he goes to bed, crying his heart out like he does every night.
He gets into the house, the quietness of it jarring in comparison to how it was before. He remembers always coming home to some kind of noise. Whether it was a drama on the tv that Hyunjin would be lying on the couch watching, or the radio softly playing as Hyunjin cooked in the kitchen, or the shower running in the bathroom where Hyunjin was scrubbing away the day’s hard work. Sometimes Hyunjin would be right at the door to give him a kiss as soon as he came in, helping him take his jacket off before leading him away to the bedroom, claiming him for the night.
Now it’s so silent. He feels like if he breathes wrong, he’ll break the quiet that’s settled here. He drops his keys on the hooks by the door and takes off his shoes, locking the door behind him. He trudges to the bedroom and hesitates a moment before entering, wanting to check if Hyunjin is still here. He stops in his tracks with a gasp when he sees Hyunjin sitting on the floor in front of the closet, Seungmin’s secret shoebox open and empty. All the contents are scattered around him, photograph after photograph, along with tickets and letters. Opened letters that were closed before.
Seungmin whimpers as his hands shake, his legs wobble as he takes uncertain steps forward, not even paying attention to Hyunjin as his mind sees the letters no one was ever supposed to see. He can feel the wetness of his cheeks start up again as his mind is stuck in a loop of ‘no, no, no’ s. He drops to the ground, scrambling as he rushes to pick it all up. He snatches the shoebox and starts carelessly pushing everything back in. All his memories, all his words, all of him. His trembling hands continuously drop items and he feels stuck in a loop of scooping and scooping.
He’s distinctly aware of Hyunjin saying something somewhere beside him, hands coming to try and stop his own. Any other time he would’ve jumped in joy, but right now he can’t even think or hear past the blood rushing to his head as he lets out pitiful sobs and his shoulders shake. His mouth starts running before he can stop it, shaky words in a strangled tone.
“Please don’t make me get rid of these, Hyunnie. Pl-please. Don’t make me throw them away. I can’t, I can’t do it.” His words can hardly be understood with the way he’s hiccuping and hyperventilating, but he continues to beg anyway.
He feels a hand touch his back and he almost flinches at it, not expecting it. Then the hand becomes an arm and it wraps around his torso as Hyunjin hugs Seungmin’s back. Seungmin continues stuffing the letters in the shoebox, trying to breathe through his crying as palms rub at his torso and warmth spreads throughout his back where Hyunjin’s body meets his. He can hear a soft shushing next to his ear, but he just can’t.
He can’t focus on anything as he picks the pieces of his heart off the floor and pours them into the stupid shoebox. Since when did he have so much in here? Why did these papers feel never ending? Why did Hyunjin have to look in the closet? Why did he have to find his pathetic letters?
His breathing starts to calm down, hiccups decrease and he sniffles through the tears starting to stop as he picks up the last of the pictures to put back. He can now focus on the comfort and warmth he can feel from Hyunjin’s hug, his chin slightly digging into his shoulder. And it’s now that he can hear words outside of the storm in his mind.
“Baby, can you breathe with me, please? You’re doing so good calming down, but just a little more, okay? I’ll do it with you again, just breathe in.” He can hear Hyunjin take a deep inhale and he tries his best to copy it, breath stuttering as one of Hyunjin’s hands go up to sit over his heart. “Now exhale. Good job, baby. You’re doing so good. Just keep going, inhale.”
He continues copying Hyunjin’s breathing as best he can through his hiccups and stutters. He deflates in relief when he finally closes the shoebox and brings it up to cradle in his arms, letting his body lean back into Hyunjin’s. He can hear the shakiness in Hyunjin’s voice now. He can feel the trembling of his fingers.
“Do you… are you feeling better now?” Hyunjin whispers into his ear, sniffling. Seungmin nods his head but doesn’t speak, feeling too exhausted to do anything else. “Okay, why don’t we come up to the bed, hm? Your knees must be hurting.”
Seungmin looks down, only now realizing he’s been sitting back on his knees the whole time, his legs feeling a bit numb. He can only think to himself, my heart hurts more , as he lets Hyunjin pull him up and to the bed after he guides Seungmin to drop the box onto the ground.
“Do you want to lie down for a little?” Seungmin nods and Hyunjin pushes him softly to lie back on his pillows, then going to stand up.
Seungmin’s eyes widen and he panics, grabbing Hyunjin’s wrist before he can go far. “Ple-please. No, don’t go. Don’t leave me, not yet—”
Hyunjin turns back to him and starts shushing him again, running a hand through his sweaty hair, brushing away the strands stuck to his forehead. Hyunjin smiles down at him, “It’s okay baby, I’m just going to turn off the light, okay? I’ll come back over here after, and I’ll leave the bedside lamp on. Okay?”
Seungmin reluctantly nods and lets go of his wrist, watching warily as Hyunjin makes his way to the door. Hyunjin closes the bedroom door and turns the light off, the only light source now being the glow from the bedside lamp. He crawls back into bed and settles next to Seungmin, facing him as he props his head into his hands. Seungmin twists over to copy his position and sighs in relief.
Hyunjin smiles prettily at him and he can’t help but wonder what he did to deserve such a beautiful smile directed his way. Is it pity? “What are you thinking about?”
Seungmin relaxes his face when he realizes he’s frowning and looks down at the bed, unable to meet Hyunjin’s eyes. “Nothing.”
Hyunjin giggles softly and puts a finger under Seungmin’s chin, lifting it. “‘Nothing’? Are you sure? It doesn’t look like nothing.” Seungmin doesn’t answer him, instead softly pulling his chin away from Hyunjin’s grasp. Hyunjin sighs, “Seungmin?”
“Hm?”
“Did you really write all those letters?”
Seungmin feels tears well up in his eyes and his lips tremble, nodding hesitantly with a barely audible ‘yes’.
Hyunjin brings his fingers to Seungmin again, disregarding how he moved his face away earlier, this time rubbing his cheek lovingly. “They were… beautiful. No one’s ever written me a letter, let alone as many as you did. And no one’s ever said such beautiful things about me. Did you really… mean it all?” Seungmin nods. “Why didn’t you ever give them to me?”
Seungmin looks up at hearing Hyunjin’s broken whisper and sees tears falling from his eyes. “I don’t know. A part of me thought it was too much. Like you’d think it was stupid of me.”
Hyunjin scoffs, “So you’d rather leave me to believe there wasn’t an ounce of romance or love that you felt towards me?” Seungmin looks away, ashamed, and Hyunjin only shakes his head in disbelief as a small smile forms on his lips. “I’m like the biggest hopeless romantic, and I paint for a living, and I write poems about love and metaphors on the beauty of it all, and you thought it’d be too much? You’re really unbelievable.”
“I’m sorry.”
Hyunjin only smiles at him sadly. “Did you mean what you said earlier?”
Seungmin looks back at him questioningly, tilting his head. “What…?”
“Did you mean what you said? That you love me? That you still love me?” Hyunjin looks at him with hopeful eyes. Seungmin’s mouth feels like it’s full of lead as he finds it hard to say anything at all and he sees the way insecurity plasters itself on Hyunjin’s uncertain face. “Forget it—”
“Yes.” Hyunjin shuts his mouth and meets his eyes once more. “Of course, I still love you. I’ll always love you.”
Hyunjin’s lower lip trembles and he nods in understanding. “I lo-I love you, too. I love you so much.” A sob leaves his lips and Seungmin is quick to lean forward, pushing their lips together, swallowing it up. Hyunjin’s lips tremble against his own and he pulls away slightly to look Hyunjin in the eye as the other whispers out. “I don’t want to break up. I can’t — I can’t do it.”
Hyunjin sobs against his lips and Seungmin feels his own crying coming on, tears falling from his eyes in happiness. “I don’t want to break up either. Please, don’t leave me.”
Hyunjin nods and with a laugh, pulls him for another kiss. They tilt their heads for a better amgle and their bodies melt together. “I want to marry you. I know you might not want to marry me anymore. I broke your heart. And I’ll understand. But I was wrong. I was so wrong. And I’m so tired of acting like I could possibly live without you. I was so scared you didn’t love me. I thought for a while that you stopped loving me and the thought of marrying someone who was pretending hurt so much. But those letters — the words in there, those are the things I’ve wanted to hear from you for years. I wanted you to tell me how much you loved me. I wanted you to tell me you, too, thought of me as your soulmate and that you wanted to spend the rest of our lives together, building a family.”
“I do. I want that so bad. I want to have kids with you, Hyunnie. And I want to get a bigger house. I want to love you for the rest of my life. No, I know I’ll love you for the rest of my life, no matter what happens. You’re the love of my life.”
Hyunjin’s face crumbles, as he cries out, “You’re the love of my life, too.”
Seungmin pushes Hyunjin onto his back and leans up on his elbows over him, moving his body to lie on top, bringing a hand up to caress his cheek. “I want to marry you. I still want to marry you. I kept — look, I kept the ring here the whole time.” He reaches into his shirt and pulls out a chain with his engagement ring on it, showing it to Hyunjin.
Hyunjin wipes at his face. “Me too, I did too.” He reaches a hand behind his collar and pulls out a chain with a matching engagement ring. They both laugh at that, finding it funny that they did the same thing. Hyunjin sniffles and looks up at Seungmin like he hung the stars. “I love you so much. So so much.”
Seungmin gives him a giddy smile. “I love you so much more. I think I… definitely need to see a therapist, or something. If we’re gonna make this work, I need to. It just hurt so much, I can’t,” he chokes up and shuts his eyes, “I don’t want the hurt to stay in my heart. I want to work through it.”
Hyunjin nods quickly, “I understand. I do, too. My insecurities, I need to… I need to get over them. Work through them until I don’t constantly feel like you’re falling out of love with me. It’s not fair to either of us. None of this was fair to you. I’m so sorry, baby. I hurt you so bad, I’m so sorry. The things I said to you...”
Seungmin shakes his head, not able to speak through his happy tears. He resorts to just kissing him silly, both of them sighing in contempt as Hyunjin wraps his arms around Seungmin to bring him impossibly closer. They smile and laugh into each other, teeth almost clashing from how happy they feel.
They’ll be okay. They have a lot to work on, but Seungmin is optimistic. They’ll be okay. And this time, he’ll do things right. They’ll both do things right.