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Some nights, Starfire slept in Robin's room which would always bring about questions; not by the team but by herself in relation to the decore. As far as she knew, he had a family somewhere because people came from families so if he was here then he had to have a family of sorts, right? She didn't really know much about them but she knew they were out there logically sleeping. She knew that he'd once been close to Batman who she assumed to be part of his family. Pretty much everything she heard on the news regarding Robin was always in connection with the Dark Knight. Some of the cases Robin solved had something about how close he'd been to Batman in the notes usually in passing.
Yet his room was exceedingly blank if they were so close. Surely there'd be photos or something like in everyone else's room but Robin's walls just had weapons on them or things to do with the team. He never really explained why he didn't have memories of where he was originally from. When Starfire returned home for the wedding that ceased to be, she'd taken a few items to populate her room with which she couldn't take originally. Perhaps he'd run away like she had but wouldn't he be able to go back at any time? Unlike her, his home was only a few cities around rather than a galaxy away so he could physically get there. He didn't mention being chased away from home so he could go back without fear of arrest or something similar. All it would take to gather some keepsakes was a long bus ride which sure would be annoying but that wouldn't kill him.
It was on one of these that she just couldn't get to sleep with the questions she had swirling around her head. Robin was cuddled up to her side, something he was becoming increasingly comfortable with, but she could tell he hadn't dropped off yet. He always had trouble sleeping but when he actually got to sleep she would know. His body would finally relax and on the good nights, a small content smile would rest on his lips.
"Robin?"
"Star please I'm not going through the chicken and egg problem," he mumbled tiredly.
"It's not about that," she assured him. He opened his eyes and glanced up at her to show she had his attention and prompted her to continue. "Why don't you have anything about Batman in your room?" The reaction was immediate. Any calmness that once rested on his features was gone completely and replaced with something too complex to properly decipher in the dark room. Eventually, Robin sighed to himself and remained quiet for a few moments.
"Sometimes the people you look to are the ones who look down on you," he finally responded.
"I'm afraid I don't understand."
"You know how I'm different when I'm being Robin in public and being Robin in here?" She nodded. "Well, Batman was like that. I thought for so long I knew him, that I knew who he was behind the walls he set up but I was just facing another wall. He wasn't the man I thought he was when I first met him. He was someone else. When I finally broke down that wall, I saw who that was and I knew that I couldn't stay with that person."
"What happened?" Robin moved away and sat up. This wasn't a cuddly pillow talk conversation. Starfire sensed his unease and went to retract her question but he spoke again.
"Batman fostered me when I was nine and I became Robin not long after. From then on, I saw Batman as this amazing guy. This person who could do no wrong and would always do right by me no matter what." He fiddled with the blanket, scrunching it up and then flattening it out with his hands. "But I was wrong. Over time, I saw he was a bitter and stubborn man. It didn't stop me from respecting him in some way until I saw he was rubbing off on me and I was becoming this person I didn't like and thinking ideas that weren't mine." He couldn't meet eyes with his girlfriend because he knew she'd just agree that he too was bitter and stubborn. Those were the worst things he'd been trained to be, even if he hadn't meant to be trained to be the same. He never really believed that though. Deep down, he always felt like he'd been Robin to be Batman and that was the only reason he was allowed to be a hero. He'd been given the easy title before taking on the next. "I was a sidekick for so long that everything I did was linked to him somehow. I got bitter like he had and I got stubborn on every little thing because I was so sure that if I was just right about one thing then maybe...maybe I wouldn't be in his shadow."
It'd been months since he even thought about Gotham. Robin kept himself busy for that exact reason. He didn't want to think about how he up and left the people he cared about because he'd been fired. Gotham just wasn't the place for him anymore and Batman had been a part of that. His mentor, a man he'd known for years, was finally showing him that he wasn't needed there and that the title he made for himself was never his own. It was something that could be actively taken away because it never belonged to him despite the name having personal connections. Batgirl was working with Batman now anyway and Robin felt out of place almost when he thought about home.
"Is that what made you leave?" Starfire inquired.
"It was a catalyst. The trigger was when he showed how hypocritical he truly was. I got hurt one night, we're talking one foot in the grave hurt. He tried to take Robin from me. After years and years of telling me Robin was mine, he tried to take it away like it was never mine in the first place. I had to go. Ran away as soon as I could." Starfire held his hand and gave him an empathetic smile. He tried to smile back but it was only small. It was nothing like the smiles he used to have when he was younger. There wasn't one photo of him without a grin. Now he wondered if he could even grin like that without doing himself an injury. He wished that the team could've seen what he used to be like. Some of their jokes or just being around them would be enough to make him cackle like mad once upon a time but now he struggled to get the ghost of a smile he did now.
"Did you manage to take anything?" Starfire asked cautiously wanting to confirm her theory. He nodded.
"A few things. My suit, some weapons, a USB with all my research on it, some money and a photo," he responded. She cocked her head at the mention of a photo. He leaned over to the bedside drawers, pulling out the very bottom draw and moved a few things around before finally retrieving the photo. He turned on the light so she could see it easier. "It's of my parents and myself. It was a week before they were murdered." Starfire took it carefully and inspected it with a solemn smile.
"You looked so happy. I've never seen such a grin on you."
"When I left Gotham, that boy died there. I wanted to be Robin all the time but then I would be the very man I'm so angry at so I'm trying my best with knowing all of you. I'm sort of relearning how to be a good person not just a good hero. I'm trying to be something that people would be proud to know." The alien kissed him on the cheek.
"I'm proud to know you," she insisted. "Even if I'm unaware of the person you are behind your title." She gave him back the precious photo and waited for him to settle down again. When he did, she hooked her arm around him and pulled him back in. "I'm sorry Batman wasn't the man you thought he was."
"It's alright Star. I think, at some point, I'll be able to forgive him but for now, I have a great team and a wonderful girlfriend. I'm happy with that."
"I love you too."