Chapter Text
Uncertainty was a late arrival in Jane’s life, but once it wiggled its way in, it sure as hell took hold. She never doubted herself, not really, until her work became too tied to her heart and her brain filled with sentimentality instead of queries that would solve cases. Then there was her best friend… and, well, Garrus had become tied to her everything. Heart and mind and lungs and desire.
The dull aches and thrumming needs still existed, but somehow most were outweighed by radiant moments filled with laughs and smiles.
A notification popped up on her omni-tool. Her C-Sec banquet dress had been delivered. Only a week away.
Jane rolled her stress-tight shoulders and stared out the windshield. Rain from the artificial weather system beaded on the glass as Garrus drove them through the human-developed neighborhood of Eden Glen. Garrus’s mandibles clicked tight against his jawline as he maneuvered through traffic. Knowing he was about to turn into an adorable grump, the corner of her lip curled up.
“Ground’s gonna be muddy,” Garrus drawled. “Better cancel your dinner reservations.” He looked at her, waiting for a smile she couldn’t force.
Jane kneaded her lips into a sharp line, pain spiking for just a moment before she let up. What he said was a joke, because as far as he knew at that moment they’d be staying up late sifting through evidence. As far as he knew, she’d be going home to watch reruns of dumb shows. She’d avoided telling him about her plans all day, and the time racing by had only intensified her unease. Lying wasn’t an option, though, as much as she wished she could.
But the truth…
They’d been doing so well. A month of agony after dancing in her kitchen, followed by a month of slowly regaining their strong friendship after that, and things finally felt good between them again.
So why the hell did she have to go and ruin it by letting her lingering loneliness lead her to a terrible decision.
“I have a date, actually,” Jane finally replied, trying to wash all emotion from her voice. She should have been looking forward to it because she hadn't been on a date in...hell, it was before she got shot. Two years, then. But for so many reasons, she wasn't. Well, maybe just one reason. As big as a seven-foot turian and as beautiful as the brightest morning.
Garrus’s strong hands tightened on the wheel. “You didn’t tell me,” he said, and his voice was quiet, like a soft, secret footfall down a dark hall in the middle of the night. The surprise he was trying to hide was reasonable, they were best friends and talked about everything. What was unreasonable was her need to hide her date from him. Secrecy was becoming normal now, too. Uncertainty and hiding seemed to be amazing partners. As amazing as her and Garrus.
“I only met him last night.” She shifted in her seat, trying to stave off the need to burrow and hide, or fidget her hands.
Garrus nodded. Silence fell between them, shadows cast in between street lights crawling across the skycar interior, across her hands, across Garrus’s face. Most of the time she knew exactly how he felt, what he thought. Then there were moments like this, when he seemed as unfamiliar as a stranger.
As they turned down a well-lit street a honey-toned light washed over them. The neighborhood, Eden Glen, was fairly new, built up in the last decade, mostly occupied by humans working in Alliance Administration and the wealthy investors eager to reap the profits of intergalactic trade. Rich humans with money to burn.
Large houses, by Citadel standards at least, sprawled on for blocks behind meticulous yards of lawns and trees from Earth. The result was a carefully manufactured, familiar appearance. If Jane forgot for a moment she was in space, she would have guessed they were driving through an ungodly expensive neighborhood outside San Francisco or Chicago. Back on Earth, she would be jealous driving through neighborhoods that looked like Eden Glen. Out here, it just made her miss her grandparents’ cozy bungalow. Northern California would be rainy this time of year, too.
She’d be back home in two weeks, and she’d never needed the comfort of her childhood home, and her Papa and Gran, so much.
The houses they passed were right across the street from the park. A view of thick woods and a babbling stream on a space station wasn’t cheap. Jane felt a bit cheated not knowing a place like this existed on the Citadel. If she had, she would’ve insisted on coming out here before. With closed eyes and a smile on her face, she would’ve taken in deep breaths of pine and rain.
“Maybe I need to get into Alliance Administration,” Garrus said, surveying the houses they rolled by.
Jane scoffed. “These humans, the ones who live here, would sell their children to buy a little respect from the council races.”
Garrus gave her a sideways glance. “Well you’re being pessimistic today. That’s usually my job, but I have to say you”— his voice slowed, like he wanted to stifle the words but they were already out— “look better wearing it.”
Whether he was upset that she kept something from him, or felt self-conscious saying something like that before she was about to go on a date, she wasn't sure. She forced a chuckle out, more of an apology — for what, she wasn’t certain — than a genuine response.
Flashing crimson and violet lights atop C-Sec vehicles caught their attention and guided their way. Garrus popped on the lights of their own vehicle and maneuvered past an outer perimeter of barriers then down a path wide enough for one skycar, but no more, slowly weaving through tall pines to join the scene. C-Sec officers and Forensics came in to view milling about — many of them waiting for the self-important detectives to make a grand entrance like heroes disembarking to save the day.
That’s what they saw. And yet, she couldn't stop chewing at her lips like an anxious kid.
“I hate rain,” Garrus grumbled as they climbed out of the skycar.
It wasn’t raining that much, just a light mist, but Jane’s hair already hung heavy with it, and when she slipped her hand through to give it a good ruffle, her fingers slid across damp strands. “It calms humans. Makes us feel more at home, like on Earth.”
“Take a shower if you want to get wet,” he said, drawing up the hood of his jacket.
His rumbly voice and bright eyes peeking from under the hood gave her a genuine grin. “Not quite the same.”
They started walking towards the scene, Garrus already giving the artificial sky above them threatening glances. “Does it rain like this in Millville?” he asked.
She nodded. “Worse. It’s like one long, wet shower. All winter long.”
His look of horror tickled her.
They reached the inner perimeter of barriers, offering their badges to the officers standing duty, when the croaking whistle of a salarian caught Jane’s attention. Mordin stood near the body, already focused back on his datapad and typing furiously. They knew it was an unidentified minor, male, but he looked smaller than she expected lying in a foot of mud amongst trees tall as skyscrapers.
Solus’s large, friendly eyes and warm smile lifted her spirits a bit. The earth squelched under their feet as they approached the culvert where the body lay nestled in mud and grass. In the short distance from the car to the body, a thick layer of muck had built up on her and Garrus’s boots.
The boy was small, pale, and he stared up at the artificial night sky. He wore a crisp white button-up shirt, mud only encroaching up from his backside, and one arm lay across his stomach. Those were the only details Jane gathered before she averted her gaze.
“Think he was already in the park, or did they dump him here?” she asked.
Avoiding the inevitable task of examining the boy, she instead watched Garrus’s sharp eyes travel along the body. “Shoes are nice. No noticeable scuffs. No mud built up from walking through the soaked terrain. Dumped, definitely,” he muttered.
Jane looked over to the officer that had first arrived on scene, a female turian named Alvinia Regitus. Jane suspected Officer Regitus hated her, based solely on the constant look of disdain on her face whenever they spoke — but she had no idea what she’d done to deserve it. Everyone else always got a warm smile from the woman. “Any tracks?” Jane asked, ignoring Regitus’s sour face.
Regitus shook her head. “No suspect tracks and no victim tracks. We do have disturbed grass from skycar thrusters though.” Regitus pointed just behind them where Forensics were quick at work scanning ground sectioned off with barriers. It was so close the blue-hued barrier light fell over Jane’s and Garrus’s black boots.
Jane turned her attention back to the body. If she didn’t suck up her nerve Garrus would be doing all the work on this one. She forced herself to finally look at the boy and examine the scene, slowly drifting from one detail to the next. A kid. A young, cute, dead kid.
All of Garrus’s assessments were spot on – he was definitely dumped. She scanned the ground around the boy, then slowly the ground out in concentric waves until she saw the grass that had been disturbed by thrusters, about six feet from the boy. “No tracks and the thruster damaged ground is close. They pulled into the park and pushed the body out, then. Either they were in a hurry or didn’t want to get dirty.”
Garrus hummed in agreement, his eyes flicking over every inch of the body. “Looks like a rich kid from this neighborhood. Why would they pull up in a skycar to dump him here?”
“Maybe they’re not from here,” Jane speculated, looking from the street lined in amber lights, to the meandering footpath, to the dark trees around them that provided a fair amount of cover. “Giving him a ride from somewhere else, but something happened? Or they picked him up here, killed him, and dumped him before leaving?”
Garrus nodded, then asked Regitus, “Anything else?”
She shrugged, looking noticeably chipper now that Garrus was addressing her instead of Jane. “Nothing yet.” She excused herself with a quick tip of her head, quickly walking towards the forensics team who were huddled under a small pop-up tent, their gear splayed out on tables.
Jane watched her leave and as soon as she was out of earshot asked Garrus, “Seriously, why does she hate me?” He’d always laughed it off, told her she was imagining it, but Jane knew better — the woman despised her.
“You really want to know?” His sharp eyes diligently took in the scene before he paused to look at her, his expression grave.
Her muscles went rigid. “Yes, please.”
“It’s the freckles. Some turians just hate freckles.” His mandibles flexed into a smartass grin that always made her happy, regardless of how annoying he was being.
She groaned. “Fuck off.” Her words were sharp and tone annoyed, but she couldn’t hide the grin his teasing gave her.
Looking back down at the body, he shrugged. “Don’t be mad at me. I like your freckles.”
Why did she have to go on a stupid date that night? She’d much rather just go back to her apartment and eat take-out with Garrus.
Which is exactly why she needed to go on the date, whether she liked it or not.
Jane sucked up her resolve to get the worst of this over with, and looked at the kid's face. He was young, maybe thirteen or fourteen. Minor laceration at his brow. His features were soft and kind. Just a rich kid that probably only ever worried about his grades and the person sitting next to him. He would have had a crush on them — boys always had crushes on the people they sat next to. She knew that his gray eyes had once been bright and trusting. Now dulled by death, they looked up to the spiral of treetops overhead.
She was slipping into a terrible habit she’d been trying to drop for months, but she could never quite shake the impulse. At a scene, staring at the body, she would imagine the victim’s last moments. What did this boy last see? Was it his killer’s face? Was it the sky, or trees, or the inside of the skycar? She imagined his poor, kind eyes focused on the material of the skycar seat, his face violently smashed into the surface.
She found herself thinking about that a lot lately, even old cases that were solved and she’d moved on from — what was the last image the victim’s eyes took in? She still hadn’t decided whether it would be better to see something happy, or something bleak and terrifying — something that told them exactly what was about to happen to them. Her heart clenched, and a knot balled up in her stomach.
Staring at the boy, she thought that out of those two options, seeing something beautiful as they took their last breath had to be worse. The sadness that tightened her throat and made her shoulders feel heavy was more intense, at least, when she thought of their eyes settling on something that would make them miss being alive. Why tempt them with beauty, or hope?
“What’s that in the grass over there?” Garrus’s deep, easing voice interrupted her distracted thoughts, finally allowing her to peel her eyes away from the boy’s. Garrus stood just a few feet from her, rain dripping down from the tips of his fringe – he looked absolutely miserable. Maybe she should cancel her date? Take Garrus back to her place and turn the fireplace on for him.
“Where?” Regitus called back.
Garrus pointed over to a concrete wall’s ledge, just over his height, a slightly sloped hill of grass contained behind. The culvert protruded at the bottom of the wall. They were lucky the body was found so early. Any later and water might have come gushing out, washing evidence away. “Something’s in the grass.” He flashed a light from his omni-tool in the direction, and sure enough, a glare reflected off something nestled in amongst green, rain-sogged blades of natural grasses.
Jane and Garrus walked over to the wall together. Without a word between them, he placed familiar hands on her hips and lifted her up to get a better look. She took her omni-tool out, stable in his tight grip, and began to take pictures.
“Mother fucker. Looks like a watch.” She turned to Regitus. “We need Forensics over here. We’ve got a watch. Looks like some blood on it, too.”
“A watch?” Garrus asked, curiosity in his voice. “An actual watch?”
All the utilitarian purpose of watches had died out centuries ago. Now they were purely fashion pieces, and only a certain type of person found them in style. Strange. And damn good evidence, hopefully.
She slid out of Garrus’s grip as he lowered her back down to stand on her own feet. Side by side, they carefully walked back to the body. Mordin had been busy when they first arrived, but he stood waiting for them now.
“Strangulation could be cause of death,” he began. “Hemorrhaging along the throat, but will have full story for you after autopsy.”
“You think they did more than just strangle him?” Garrus asked Jane. “His clothes are neat, orderly. Perfect even.”
“Too perfect,” Jane added. “What’s the likelihood his shirt would be straight, buttoned, and tucked in after being strangled?”
“Anything else?” Garrus’s mandibles drew tight as he spoke. He wiped a hand over his fringe, flinging droplets off.
“Bruising on both wrists.” Mordin motioned towards the kid’s wrists, slightly peeking out from the long sleeves covering his arms. “Light cylindrical reddening of skin around the jaw. Probably finger marks from holding head still. Come see me after autopsy. Will know more.”
Garrus’s eyes roamed over the whole scene once more as Jane nodded solemnly.
An hour and a half later, and Jane and Garrus stood, their hoods drawn low, huddled so closely that the steam from their breath drifted out into one unified cloud. They’d spent that time mulling over pieces of evidence that popped up, throwing ideas back and forth. It looked like the team had found all the evidence they would that night, and the coroner was about to pick up the boy.
“So this date of yours…” Garrus stopped there to let out a huff, pulling his hood down even tighter. A shiver rolled through him, then he rolled his neck.
Despite the sympathy she felt for him, she nearly groaned when he brought up the date again, though. She peeked out from under her hood. “You know, you’re more interested in this than I am.”
“I’m eating take-out tonight and going over evidence. Your plans are more exciting. Clearly.”
“I’d rather be doing that,” she grumbled.
“Vakarian” Regitus finally called over, interrupting their conversation. “They’re done and the coroner’s just pulled up, you’re good to go.”
His eyes, the most comforting thing she had on this station, warmed as they traveled across her face. She couldn’t help but think he was trying to glean something from her demeanor — maybe guess what she was thinking. “Thought I’d get your mind off this case while we wait around. Talk about something more pleasant,” Garrus said.
She ignored him. As odd and horrible as it was, to her, she dreaded the date more than being at a scene. She rubbed at her eyes then looked up at the sky above them, thick with clouds. Aching for the comfort of home, she found herself wishing they were real clouds, not an image. Her legs bounced anxiously, and despite not being cold, she wrapped her arms around herself.
She could cancel, it wasn’t too late. She could invite Garrus over instead.
🔪🔪🔪
With a heart that he just now allowed to start aching, Garrus watched Jane. Her lips were tight. And he knew her eyes hadn’t looked that tired when they got in the skycar to head over here. She needed a break. She needed a little bit of happiness and levity.
He supposed the date would give her that.
Her gaze landed on his, and it felt like he was falling. Those green eyes, no longer sparkling with starshine, pulled him in closer — at least he felt closer to her, even if he hadn’t moved an inch. It looked like she was aching to tell him something. But she didn’t say a word. It was just like so many other confusing moments between them. Too loud despite the silence. Too intimate despite the distance.
As the moment between them stretched he almost convinced himself to just ask her to skip her date. She couldn't really want to go, she looked miserable and hadn’t said more than a few words about it.
No, that was his selfish heart talking. Of course she wanted to go, or she wouldn’t be. No one ever made Jane do anything, except Jane herself.
“You ok?” Garrus nudged the toe of her boot with his own.
Her lips twisted and she bit down. “Aren’t you sick of seeing dead kids?”
“Yeah, but I’m not quite ready to take on the riveting world of investor fraud,” he drawled, tilting his chin toward the skycar, guiding her with a hand pressed to her elbow. Not on her hip, not on her back. In an hour she’d be sitting at a table with some other guy. “Come on, let’s get you home and ready for that hot date.”
He watched her eyes as they made their way through the thickening muck and back to their skycar, hoping to see them spark back to life as they got further and further away from the scene. On the way over they had been bright and happy as she told him about a comedy vid she’d watched the night before. A krogan and a turian had to team up to save a colony from batarian raiders. It sounded terrible, and she loved it. He wished he had been there to watch it with her, but their nights together had become less frequent. Probably for the better. It gave her more time for other things, like dates with…whoever this guy was. When did she even meet him?
They climbed into the skycar and were soon traveling at a slow pace back to the academy. His eyes focused on cars zipping by, he asked, “So, who is this guy?”
She looked over at him, a suspicious eyebrow quirked up. “Why?”
“I need to know something about him. What if he abducts you? I’d rather find your mangled body before it reeks.”
She chuckled, and a bit of light sparked in her eyes. “You’re an ass. I popped a krogan’s plate off, you think I can’t take some creep?”
“There’s sickos out there, you never know what they might pull.”
“Stop trying to scare me.”
“Someone needs to know what you’re doing. Have you told Miranda?”
Her silence was a clear answer — no, she hadn’t. He gave her a look. She knew better.
She rolled her eyes. “I met him at the grocery store around the corner from my apartment. He’s a Council Spectre. His name is Kaiden Alenko. He has a dog that his sister takes care of when he’s on missions. And he likes Italian food,” she recited as if she was going over the details of a case.
“What’s he like? Self-assured, maverick type?”
She snorted. “I had to ask him, actually. He just kept hovering around, talking about random crap. I knew he wanted to ask me, but he couldn’t get up the nerve to say something, so I did it for him. Seems pretty straight-laced, though. I don't know.” The fact that she sounded bored shouldn’t have filled him with so much hope, but it did. Hope for what, though? That she’d realize he was the only one for her, that they belonged together?
“Ouch, no quad. Must be good-looking then?” His throat tightened when he said that. Acting like this didn't bother him turned his stomach. But what was he supposed to do? Ask her to spend the rest of her life wasting her nights with him when she could find someone who would make her happy?
“Why do you care?”
“I need a physical description. For the APB. Please don’t make it hard for me to find your murderer, Jane. I’ll be emotionally distraught so it’ll be hard enough.”
“He’s about my height—”
“So, short.”
“5’8” is pretty tall for human women.”
“But not men.”
“No,” she said. “But they’re all short compared to you. Most turians are shorter than you.” As Garrus maneuvered into the right lane, nearing the academy, she said, “Black hair. Medium build.”
“Eyes?” he asked.
He pulled into a stall and they climbed out of the skycar as she thought, then said, “I don’t really remember anything else about him.”
“Hmm, great sign. He really made an impression on you then,” he teased.
“I’m pretty sure that’s how people end up meeting their spouse,” she argued, and it was nearly convincing. “It’s the ones that give you butterflies that end up burning bright, and burning out, right?”
“Sure. Every time I ask a happy couple how they met they answer ‘No clue, can’t remember a thing about it’.”
When he gave her a smug grin she shoved him with her elbow and they chuckled. Selfishly, he’d been upset ever since she said she had a date. What the hell was he supposed to do? Just go home? Eat by himself? While his best friend and the woman who made his galaxy spin sat at a restaurant with someone else?
They inhaled deep breaths together, watching each other. Silence stretching. People walked around them. A skycar landed. He didn’t want to say goodnight and imagined maybe she didn't want to either. “Go on and get home,” he finally said. “I’ll start the reports. You can look at them tomorrow morning.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah.”
“I can stay late.”
He ran his fingers along a strand of her soaked hair. “If you want to impress this guy you have your work cut out for you.”
“Fuck off,” she groaned, but still smiled.
A mandible flicked out in a half-hearted grin. “Don’t fall in love too fast. See you tomorrow, Jane.”
“Bye, Garrus,” she said, her voice cracking as she turned. Hopefully she wasn’t getting sick from being out in the rain.
If she had looked back she would have seen him watching her, unable to look away as long as he could see her. They were great partners. A perfect team.
Sitting at his desk, Garrus wrapped up the last line of their reports and glanced at the clock. Two hours had passed since Jane left to get ready. They had to be sitting down at the restaurant, talking, Spectre Alenko trying to make her smile. He liked Italian food, was straight-laced and had to be pretty boring judging by Jane’s description. Where would he have taken her? Garrus would put his money on the Italian restaurant down the street from Jane's apartment. He would go for something close and comfortable, but if he’d asked Jane what she wanted, he would have taken her somewhere to get a good steak and a stiff whiskey.
“Go home, Vakarian,” Pallin shouted from the doorway. With a quick glance around the room, Garrus realized that the lights had been dimmed and everyone else already left. The only ones left in the room were the night cycle shift, and him.
Garrus shut his console off, satisfied with his reports but still irked by the thought of the unknown Spectre eating pasta with Jane, and slid his arms into his jacket. He decided to grab some take-out before heading home and refused to admit to the real reason he planned to go by a specific place on Silversun Strip that served decent, but not great, food. He convinced himself he’d just take a little peek into the restaurant, just to make sure she looked safe and happy, and then he’d go home.