Work Text:
What a wicked thing to do
to make me dream of you
What a wicked thing to say
to make me feel this way
“Chief Prosecutor Edgeworth! What a welcome surprise.”
“Good afternoon, your honour.” Edgeworth bowed, unfazed by the mutterings rising up as he entered courtroom number three. “The prosecutor’s office apologizes for the last-minute change. Prosecutor Payne was unable to attend this trial due to sickness.”
“No worries, no worries, Chief Prosecutor,” the judge said cheerily. “My, on the contrary, this is a most pleasant surprise. I haven’t seen you behind the stands for a while – and against Mr. Wright, too!” The judge chuckled. “It’s been quite some time since you two youngsters faced off in the courtroom, isn’t it?”
From the other side of the courtroom, Phoenix managed to recover from his shock just in time to not look completely flustered. He hadn’t prepared to go against Edgeworth today! And on the second day of the trial, nonetheless!
This required a completely different mindset than Payne.
First off, Edgeworth actually cared about finding the truth. It was less of a defence-versus-prosecution and more of a team-up to find the true culprit. Second, Edgeworth was a lot smarter and – simply put – a whole lot better than Payne.
But most importantly, Edgeworth was distracting.
Standing behind the bench like that, opening his briefcase with a smug look, showing off his long and elegant fingers… Cocking his head that way on purpose so the sharp line of his jaw and the way his glasses framed his face made Phoenix’s stomach flutter…
How dare he. Phoenix narrowed his eyes and went on the offence.
“It’s been a while, indeed, Edgeworth,” Phoenix said and arched his eyebrow. “The life of a Chief Prosecutor must be far too busy to take on a simple humble case like this.” Phoenix smirked. “You sure you’re not rusty after all that time spend behind a desk? I think I can hear your joints creaking.”
“Cease your unnecessary babbling, Wright,” Edgeworth matched his smirk with an even haughtier one. “I assure you I am more than a match for the likes of you. To illustrate, I actually know what ex parte means.”
Phoenix rolled his eyes to cover up the fact that he only vaguely recognized that term from law school. “I’m glad your aced your exams when you were fifteen, Edgeworth.” He wanted to follow up with a comment about glory days, but stopped himself just in time.
“An experience I’m sure you never had, Wright.”
“Hey!” Phoenix said, affronted. “I aced plenty of exams when I was younger!”
“When you were an art major,” Edgeworth added.
“Unlike you, I do actually have a broad spectrum of interests,” Phoenix said casually, lying. “Anyway, fancy phrases aside, enjoy your sharp wit while you can. You’re not getting any younger, you know. It might become hard to remember certain things after a certain point in time,” he said wisely, “like the details of this case.”
“Wright! We’re the same age!”
“Yet you’re the one turning grey,” Phoenix pointed out triumphantly.
“Ngh!” Edgeworth gritted his teeth. “I was born with this hair colour! And you know that!”
“I guess that means it’s really time to worry.”
Edgeworth glared at him, but there was the tiniest of smiles hidden in the curve of his lips. “Insult me all you like, Wright, but that won’t change the fact that I am going to prove your client’s guilt.”
Wright put his arms behind his head. “That’s what you said the other times too, and look how that turned out.”
“Ah,” the judge said, mimicking wiping a tear from his eye. “Just like old times.”
“OBJECTION! As I have already proven, the broken flower pot cannot be the murder weapon!”
“Then how do you explain the edges being covered in the victim’s blood?”
Phoenix pointed a finger at Edgeworth with a smirk. “If you look closely at the evidence, you will see that the edges of the broken pieces are covered in the blood – yet the areas which touched the ground are not.” He tapped the photo of the flower pot confidently. “That is to say, the flower pot was already broken when the murder took place! There is no way Mr. Ini Cennt could have used it to bash the victim’s head in!”
Edgeworth narrowed his eyes. “The autopsy report clearly states the cause of death was blunt force to the head with an medium-sized object. The only medium-sized object found on the scene that could fit that description is the broken flower pot.” He wiggled his finger. “Ergo, the flower pot is the murder weapon.”
“Are you sure about that, Chief Prosecutor? You haven’t an updated version of the autopsy report, by any chance!”
Edgeworth cringed. “Ack! Wright, that was years ago! Why won’t you let me forget that!”
“I remember that case,” the judge remarked fondly to no one.
Phoenix grinned. “Just keeping you on your toes, Edgeworth.” And buying him enough time to think. Because Phoenix was really starting to panic. This was often the time he pulled something out of his ass for a final turnabout, but the penny hadn’t dropped yet.
He looked down on the files in his head. An old camera tape, a picture of footsteps left behind in the snow, a broken sword, and a few small Russian dolls were all the evidence that was left after an harrowing hour of mutual cross-examining.
“You still haven’t answered my question, Wright. What object do you propose as the murder weapon?”
Phoenix sweat-dropped. “There must be another object that was used to commit the murder!”
Edgeworth spread his hands. “Please enlighten us, Wright, for I see no other piece of submitted evidence that suits the aforementioned criteria.”
Phoenix glared at the cocky smile Edgeworth wore at that moment. What did it say about him that all he wanted to do was kiss that smug smile right of Edgeworth’s face?
“Well, Wright?”
Phoenix fumbled, finally dragging his gaze from the prosecutor’s lips. “There is only one solution! The murder weapon must have been removed from the scene by the real culprit!”
A mumble went through the crowd of spectators.
Edgeworth raised his eyebrows. “The real culprit, you say? And, pray tell, who would this culprit be?”
Phoenix hadn’t actually thought of that yet. All he knew was that his client was completely innocent and that the way Edgeworth looked at him right now was making him feel all sorts of things.
“Uh,” Phoenix sweat-dropped, “I…”
Edgeworth shook his head. “A cute idea, Wright, but with no evidence to back it up – as always.”
Phoenix wanted to respond but he was a little distracted by the way Edgeworth’s lips curled around the word cute.
“For now, I’m afraid I must agree with the prosecution, Mr. Wright,” the judge said, a bowl of popcorn suddenly at his side.
Edgeworth leaned forward and tilted his chin upwards, a victorious smile playing on his lips. “Admit it, Wright. Your client is guilty.”
Was this the day, then? The day Edgeworth finally beat him?
“If the defence does not have any objections left, I move to ask the court to recognize the broken flower pot as the murder weapon.”
The defence did have an objection. Phoenix very much objected to the way Edgeworth’s hair glimmered in the bright light of the courtroom, or the way the maroon of his jacket contrasted against his pale skin, and how all of that was very distracting and should not have been allowed in the courtroom in the first place!
“Well,” the judge said, purposefully loitering, “if the defence rests…”
“Never, you honour!”
All eyes turned to him. Phoenix trembled, pointing a shaky finger at Edgeworth, begging for his brain to come up with something. But all he could think about was how this whole day was so unfair and how he would have had no trouble with Payne, if only Edgeworth hadn’t shown up and been so… himself!
“Well?” Edgeworth raised an eyebrow and Phoenix panicked.
“OBJECTION! I am completely and irrevocably in love with you!”
Edgeworth froze. The judge stilled, a piece of popcorn halfway to his mouth. The spectators fell silent. The defendant’s mouth dropped open.
“W-wright!” Edgeworth stuttered. “That’s, that’s, that’s completely irrelevant right now!”
Well, there was only one trick Phoenix aways fell back on in these kinds of situation. Bluff harder. “OBJECTION! It is completely relevant, because it is such an essential part of my being it never stops being relevant!”
Edgeworth helplessly looked at the judge.
The judge slowly chewed on his popcorn. “Objection sustained. Honestly, this is a long time coming,” he added under his breath.
“Ack!” Edgeworth sweat-dropped. “This is, I, ngh!”
Phoenix tried not to crumble from anxiety as he waited for an answer.
“Well?” the judge said, eyes dancing. “The defence is waiting for your response, Chief Prosecutor.”
Edgeworth slammed his fist against his stand and pointed an accusatory finger at Phoenix. “You! I’ve been in love with you since I was nine!”
Phoenix was positive he would’ve gone straight into shock if not for the fact that they were in a courtroom. “Why haven’t you ever told me?!” he cried instead.
“Why haven’t you?” Edgeworth countered, turning beet-red.
“I was afraid that you would disappear again!” Phoenix screamed and could practically hear his own psyche-lock breaking.
Edgeworth flinched for real this time. “I wouldn’t have!” he shouted back. “I shall never leave your side again!”
Phoenix was breathing heavily and his eyes were not starting to water, thank you very much. “How can I believe that?”
Edgeworth wrung his hands together and looked at his feet. “Why would I want to leave you, Phoenix? All I ever wanted in my life is right here.”
Phoenix slumped, breathing heavily. “Me too, Miles,” he said quietly. He thought he could see Edgeworth’s eyes water, but it must be a trick of the light. “Me too.”
The two long-time rivals simply stared at each other, all fight gone out of them. The whole courtroom was holding its breath. Nobody moved. It seemed like they would be frozen in time, forever, if not for–
“What the fuck is going on?!” the defendant squeaked from the witness stand.
The judge decided to postpone the trial for another day, mostly due to the face that both the defence and the prosecution did not stop staring dazedly in each other’s eyes. He waited until the whole courtroom had cleared before slowly rising up from his seat, leaving the now-empty popcorn bowl behind.
The judge smiled as he descended from his bench. The wooden floor creaked softly underneath his feet. Somehow, that small sound was the thing that to shake the two lawyers out of their trance.
“Congratulations to you both,” the judge couldn’t help but say as both Mr. Wright and Mr. Edgeworth looked at him. “I have witnessed your developing relationship over the years and I must say I am proud of you for finally telling each other the truth.”
Mr. Wright’s eyes started to fill with tears anew. The judge smiled warmly. He always had been the more emotional one. Mr. Edgeworth could use someone like that in his life.
“T-thank you, your honour,” Mr. Edgeworth said stiffly as Mr. Wright started to sniff. “I, uh,” he said, and simply stopped speaking.
The judge held up his hand. “No need to explain, Mr. Edgeworth. I’m happy for you two youngsters.” He walked onwards, throwing them both a kind look. As he arrived at the door, he gestured for the bailiff to follow him, leaving the two lawyers behind.
“Now, I’ll give you a little privacy to work some things out,” the judge called over his shoulder. “But I implore you two to behave!”
Mr. Wright and Mr. Edgeworth both turned beet-red at the same time. “You need not concern yourself with–” “I would never–” they spluttered before both falling silent.
The door of the courtroom closed behind them. The judge chuckled. Yes, these two would turn out just fine.
The next day Phoenix proved there was another, bigger Russian Doll belonging to Mr. Eve L. Both the defence and prosecution recognized it as the actual murder weapon. Mr. Cennt was proclaimed not-guilty, and Mr. L was taken into custody.
Afterwards, they made out in Miles’ office.