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Okay, okay. I know you’re all expecting me to gloat about how the Sumprats defeated… no HUMILIATED the Lone Stars in their own barn. How MY team, shut out and ran up the score against a dynasty – a team that was top three last year and made it look easy.
You know what? I was sorely tempted to do that, I really was. I’ve been drinking the delicious tears of Lonestar fans since the game. I’ve been riding the high all weekend and sustaining myself like it’s my morning coffee. But I’m not going to gloat, to rub salt in the wound. Quite frankly, I don’t think I could say anything that’d make Lonestars fans feel worse than that match. Now, I can’t promise that I won’t write that column in the future, if something like this happens when the Lonestars come to OUR house I will make no apologies.
I’m not even going to talk about Caitlyn Kiramman’s incredible play. Four shots, four goals like a cold blooded sniper. If I hadn’t watched it live, and someone told me those stats I’d write it off as bullshit. But here we are and I’ve ordered a Sumprats Sweater with her name on it. If you want that, click away. I’m sure there’ll be no shortage of pundits talking about how the Lone Stars didn’t have an answer for her. We all know Kiramman is one of the best talents of her generation, and has been having a banner year. Even in losing games she has shown true brilliance. We ALL remember her embarrassing Akali. That they gave her space and didn’t chip her enough etcetera, etcetera. Those people aren’t wrong. But they aren’t right either. See, Kiramman wasn’t the only player on the ice.
Instead I’m going to talk the other skaters on the rink. Like Claggor Stoic singlehandedly justifying his contract in the opening second of the match. It takes balls of steel to step to Landsman and sent a fucking message to every other team that NOONE fucks with his team. I’m not going to say he was a good pick for the team – out of everyone that could have been selected an enforcer wasn’t the best choice but… I’m not going to deny that I popped when he beat the snot out Terri Landsman. I want to talk about Thresh, not only for breakaway that led to him scoring a great goal, but also for him putting Raffi in his place for elbowing Ashe. Thresh has always been a good hitter, I said that when Medarda announced the roster, but he’s usually used that to make plays and create opportunities for himself and the team. Not that he’s never done it, but it’s not his usual style. I want to talk about Leona landing hits harder than I’ve seen her deliver in years. I’m pretty sure the Lonestars will need to change out their glass with how hard Landsman hit it… Look, there’s a lot I want to say about the entire line up of the Sumprats. But I’m going to limit myself to talking about one more player.
Let’s talk about Vi FUCKING Wickett. If you look at just the stats, she had a good game. Nothing special, not for her at least. She gave some good hits, scored a goal and got multiple assists. Exactly what you’d expect from her, right? The Lonestars couldn’t get a damn thing done on offence. Their passing lanes got broken up, I’m pretty sure she checked every member of the Lonestar Offense lines at least once. Now I can hear you down in the comment section saying something like ‘Wow, Teddy you noticed Vi Wickett is great at shutting down offense – what a stunning revelation. I can see why you get paid to talk about hockey.’ Possibly with more swearing and spelling mistakes. But hear me out here, I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about how she was always in the right position to enable her team. . I said earlier that the Lonestars gave Kiramman too much space, honestly they didn’t. Vi MADE the space Kiramman needed. There’s a reason that she scored an assist on Kiramman’s first three goals. Hell, she didn’t even LOOK when making the pass for her first goal. When she appeared out of nowhere to score in the second period, I’m not ashamed to say I got actual chills. Folks, I’ve watched the RHL for almost46 years so when I say I can’t remember the last time I saw two players that seemed to be reading each other’s minds like they were. If they can keep working together like they did against the Lonestars we’re looking at a real playoff threat.
This team was supposed to be a collection of misfit pieces. Too small, too old, not good enough. The cast-offs that no one wanted. There wasn’t supposed to be chemistry, synergy. Certainly not THIS early into the season. We all had them pegged as a mediocre team that’d be lucky to scrape a 0.500 season. That’s not the team we saw. We saw a team united. A team with something to prove. A singular purpose and drive. All great teams are bought together by something. Whether it’s a captain or coach – the leader that melds the egos of their team into something productive, or the shared goal of winning or retaining the cup. But something like that would never work in Zaun. In Zaun we don’t have hope. We don’t have optimism or the privilege of wealth or legacy. No, in Zaun we have rage. The Sumprats were united in their fury and I can’t think of a more fitting place and time for them to come together and burn the stars with their fire.
You might be wondering why I haven’t talked about any of the Lonestar players (with the exception of Terri Landsman). There’s two reasons for that. One, if a team is on the ice and does nothing for three periods, did they really play? Food for thought.
Two, because FUCK the Lonestars.