Chapter Text
“Miss, can you hear me? Miss!”
What’s happening? Why are they being so loud? A bright light burns her left eye.
“Conscious, just unresponsive. On three! One, two, three.”
Vertigo takes her. Doors slam shut. She’s nauseous. A grunts escape her. Pain suddenly erupts all over.
“Hurts.”
“I know miss, we’re on our way to the hospital. It’ll be alright.”
She sobs. “It hurts!”
There’s a piercing sound. Wait, hospital? It’s too much, the people talking around her. She’s in a vehicle, right? It jolts left, and she definitely wants to throw up now.
What’s happening?
They say it’s amnesia. That her name is Petunia Evans and that they’re her parents. They’ve been in a car accident last week, and she’s been in a coma for a few days while they’ve only got a few scratches. The woman wants to cry. She has tears in her eyes when they eat dinner together after she’s released from the hospital. But she’s not who they say she is. Her name’s Eleanor. She’s not their daughter.
She’s not the blond girl that she sees in the mirror. She’s not even white for god’s sake! Her beautiful amber skin that she worked so hard to love, gone! Her curly hair, gone! The gap in her front teeth, gone! She now has blue eyes, is bony and worse: she’s not an adult anymore.
They say she’s sixteen, that they are in 1973. She doesn’t know how she’s not hysterical right now. 1973? When she was always on the internet and social media? Not to mention that Petunia Evans is like the horrible aunt in this old series she’s read a long time ago. Eleanor is overwhelmed. Her thoughts jump to one another in a whirlwind of things she notices.
“Don’t worry, Pet. It’s gonna be alright.” says Mrs Evans.
What kind of people call their children Petunia and nickname them ‘pet’? This is hell.
“I’m sorry,” answers Eleanor.
She’s lost but these people probably don’t deserve to have lost their daughter. Is this even real? Maybe she’s dead and that’s her punition. Or is this like a lucid dream? If so, she could have chosen better because, damn.
“I know you’ve had trouble calling us mum and dad since the accident,” adds the father of this body.
Obviously. Eleanor’s dad isn’t a redhead. And her mum is black. This is madness. Wait, mental health in the 70’s might still be horrible. She has to be careful not to get institutionalised. Do they still lobotomise people in this era? Shit.
“Petunia?”
Eleanor jumps. “Sorry, a lot on my mind.”
“Right, right.” Mrs Evans tries to smile but her brows are joined in a worried line.
“We want you to be as comfortable as possible, so you can call us by our name.”
Eleanor blinks, silent. “I’m sorry. What are your names?”
Mrs Evans lets a sob out. “Excuse me,” she says as she leaves the kitchen.
“Daniel and Rose,” he says in a sigh.
“I’m sorry.”
Eleanor can’t say anything else. She’s just as lost as they are.
“I know, Pet. I know.”
October comes around and it’s already been three weeks. This doesn’t feel like a lucid dream anymore. Eleanor feels the time that passes. The doctors said that she can go back to school even if she doesn’t remember everything. The therapist even says to her that she’s a ‘bright young lady’ and not to be afraid of her memories, they may or may not come back but she’ll be alright.
Daniel and Rose Evans are ecstatic when she asks about Lily. Rose even moreso.
“I’m so glad you remember your sister! You used to argue all the time. This means you’ve never stopped to love her.”
Eleanor can’t look Rose in the eyes anymore. She hasn’t asked about Lily because of memories but because she’s the only important character she’ll be somewhat close to. And she even calls her Lily Potter in her mind. She stays quiet. Daniel seems to get her uneasiness but he doesn’t say anything either. What a fucked up family they make.
She doesn’t have friends at school. The few girls she’s tried to interact with are mean and seem to take pleasure in humiliating other people. Eleanor doesn’t feel like dealing with this. She mostly stays on her own, reading everything she can. Even if she’s the weird girl with amnesia, she will not be the stupid one.
“You’ve changed…'' says someone at her back as she’s reading the newspaper in the school library.
Eleanor turns. It’s a black girl with a few ear piercings and a cool cargo jacket that is decorated with brightly colored fabric.
“Hard to remember for myself,” she jokes.
The girl lifts a brow, and then a breathy laugh escapes her.
“You definitely aren’t the same. Even your manner of speaking is different.”
“Hope that’s for the better.”
“Hm, can’t tell yet. Name’s Gloria.”
She holds out her hand and Eleanor shakes it.
“Nice to meet you. I’m…” She stops for a second. She almost said her real name.
“Petunia. But you probably knew that already.”
“Yeah, about that,” she sits next to her. “Not to be a bitch but… That’s a weird name.”
Eleanor chuckles. “I know, right? It means ‘obstacle’ in the flower language. It doesn’t feel like mine. And the nicknames are awful.”
“Right, I bet Tuney is not your favourite one.”
“Tuney?! Hell no.”
Gloria grins.
“That’s what Stacey and her click called you before.”
“And I was putting up with it?”
“Yeah, about that…” she winces. “I think you wanted to be liked so much, you were sort of a pathetic dogsbody. I don’t think you realised you were bullied and made fun of.”
Eleanor’s surprised. Petunia Evans, bullied?
“Really?” she says to Gloria. “I probably was really nasty to you then… Even could have said racist things?”
Gloria frowns. “It’s not that you were saying shit in my face all the time, but it did happen sometimes.”
“I’m sorry,” winces Eleanor. “That’s not acceptable. I can’t remember anything but I apologise for my wrongdoings. And I’ll prove to you that I’m not that person anymore.”
“Hm, I guess it doesn’t matter.”
“No, your feelings matter. I’m sorry.”
This is madness. Eleanor is a mixed black girl and she now has to apologise for Petunia bloody Evans for racist behaviours. She doesn’t even know why the girl has talked to her. Eleanor would have ignored herself.
“Thank you,” sighs Gloria.
“I’m surprised you came to talk honestly. The accident is a blessing in disguise, I guess. I can’t imagine myself as Stacey’s minion.”
Eleanor's smile is a bit stiff with unease, but Gloria returns it.
She’s horny. And being horny at sixteen is not a fun predicament. With her adult mind, Eleanor feels like this is torture. Older men that want girls her age are scum but boys her age are definitely too young for her.
So, she goes to the public library and reads a fuck ton of steamy romances. The smut is kind of corny but it’s better than nothing. Gloria finds that funny as hell and tries to set her up with slightly older guys from her neighbourhood. They don’t seem to like the white girl much. To be honest, she doesn’t mind at all. She’s still a mess mentally.
Petunia’s body is slowly getting in better shape, Eleanor eats more, to the joy of Daniel and Rose Evans. She’s still thin but she’s filling out. At least her ribs are not showing anymore. The girl probably had an eating disorder before Eleanor took over. She misses her amber skin and her brown curly hair. Wait, weren't curly perms popular in the 70’s? She needs to do research on that.
By the end of November, Gloria has become a good friend and she calls her Tania. That’s a good nickname. She might use it. It’s close enough to Petunia, more so than Eleanor anyway, and it feels like it’s hers, not someone else’s.
“I heard you have a new friend at school,” says Rose Evans on a Sunday's lunch.
She’s serving them roasted chicken with peas. Eleanor frowns. Rose never asks her anything personal.
“Yes. Where’d you hear that?”
“At work.”
Rose works in the cosmetic factory in the outskirts of town. It’s mostly women workers from what Eleanor has gathered. They probably are gossiping like crazy on the assembly line.
“Be careful, alright?”
What? Eleanor looks at Daniel in shock. He closes his eyes, clearly wanting to avoid being included in the conversation.
“Be careful of what, exactly?” she asks.
“They said it’s a girl from Southville.”
No wonder Petunia turned out the way she did. Between the bullying, the fact that Rose can’t seem to stop speaking about Lily and the dad not being supportive, the poor girl probably had issues. She puts her fork on her plate.
“Yes, Gloria is a black girl. What about it?”
“Oh, nothing.”
“It seems to bother you, though?”
“Well… It’s not that per say, but…”
Shit. She doesn’t want to hear it.
“So, Lily can be friends with wizards and go to a school called Hogwarts and that’s acceptable.”
“It’s not about your sister.”
“But you draw the line at me being friends with a black girl from Southville?”
An uncomfortable silence takes hold of the table. Daniel doesn’t add anything, the coward. Damn.
“Your sister is different,” says Rose.
“Yeah, she’s special. You say it all the time. ‘Lily this, Lily that’. I get it.”
“Pet,” warns Daniel.
Hell no. He doesn’t get to talk now after staying quiet when it was important.
“Don’t call me ‘Pet’. I’m not a child anymore.”
“What your mother wants to say is…”
“Listen. If I have a black friend, that’s none of your business. I get that you both miss Lily and that I’m not the same since the accident. However, your role as parents is to ask me if I’m doing well in school, not to ask me to stay away from the only friend I’ve made.”
“You used to talk about Stacey Michaels and her friends all the time,” says Rose.
“If you were more interested in me, you’d know they were bullying me! They call me ‘Freak’ since the accident. They laugh in my face commenting on the second-hand clothing I have to wear because all our money went into new things for Lily.”
“Lily is alone in a new society, we have to make sure she’s not…”
“As you said, it’s not about Lily!”
Eleanor sighs. “I don’t care about my clothes. I don’t mind having used books. But I care about how people treat me. Stacey and her friends are horrible to me while Gloria has been very supportive.”
“If you only…”
“Rose, I get that you want your perfect family. However, we'll never be like the ones on the telly.”
The rest of the meal is deadly quiet. Petunia’s mother sulks in silence. This is madness. She feels angry on behalf of Petunia Evans-Dursley. Parents not interested in her at all. A sister living her best life in a magical school. An eating disorder. Bullied in school. No wonder she’s become a bitter hag.
When Christmas comes around, Rose doesn’t shut up about how she can’t wait for Lily to be home. Eleanor doesn’t care but she feels pity for Petunia. Her host decidedly has not lived in a healthy environment.
“Petunia,” says Daniel. “Don’t mind your mother.”
“It’s alright. I’m not angry.”
He looks at her for a moment. She’s not angry but she would have been if that were her parents.
“Lily arrives at three, right?” she asks, changing the subject.
“Yes. We’ll be here for dinner.”
“Does she know about the accident? I haven’t written and Rose keeps the letters.”
“She doesn’t. I’ll tell her in the car.”
Eleanor nods. “Alright, I’ll make sure to heat the soup so it’s ready when you’re back.”
“Thank you.”
The afternoon is quiet and she can’t go see Gloria. Her family has flown her grandmother to visit them a few days ago. She calls her nan “Mbombo” which is super sweet. They share the same name. Eleanor is a bit envious. She misses her real family. It wasn’t perfect but they were there for her. She wonders if her big sister still lives at home.
Thinking of her sister makes her wonder about Lily’s bedroom. She’s never set a foot in it. She wasn’t really interested in getting involved in the plot. Lily will marry James Potter, they’ll have Harry, he’ll be placed with her and he will save the world.
Wait, there’s no way Eleanor treats Harry the same as in the books. No! No fucking way she marries Vernon Dursley. Eww. No, no. Never in a million years. Sorry for Dudley Dursley, you’ll never exist. No.
That means she’ll have to find a good enough job to support her and Harry. She doesn’t even like children that much. Damn it. Right, it’s not an urgent matter. She still has until 1981, so eight years to put a plan in motion. First thing, finish highschool and research well-paying jobs. As well-paying as it gets for women in the 70s…
A bit calmer, Eleanor went back into the kitchen to prepare dinner. Her ‘family’ got home around half past six. During dinner, Rose asks Lily many things about Hogwarts, her classes and her friends. Compared to how she’s been treated, Eleanor can’t help but to pity Petunia. Lily is a beautiful girl. Thirteen going on fourteen in January, she’s really lovely. Her green eyes sparkle with excitement and her red hair is full of life.
Eleanor stays quiet. Even if she feels for Petunia, she can’t really just pass over how horrible she’s been to the girl. When dinner’s over and Lily goes to her room, Eleanor hesitates. She doesn’t want to get involved more than necessary. There’s a high chance she might get thrown into the plot if she apologises and creates a relationship with Lily. She sighs. Not an excuse.
“Lily?” she calls after knocking on her door. “Can I come in?”
The girl opens a few seconds later. “Tuney, what do you want?”
Eleanor winces. What a lame nickname. She’ll let it go for today though, Lily seems on edge.
“Could we talk for a moment?”
Lily gives her space to enter her room and closes the door behind them. She goes to sit on her bed and looks at her patiently. Eleanor tries not to look at everything, she’s not here to gawk at magical books even if this seems quite interesting. Magic didn’t even exist in her world. Is she really a muggle or could she be considered a squib? She’s clearly not normal as she’s in Petunia’s body. That’s soul magic, maybe? She’s getting distracted.
“Right. Has Daniel told you about the accident?”
“You call dad by his name?”
“Has he told you?”
She nods. “He said you have amnesia. Mum said not to bother with you.”
How nice to hear… “I remembered early that you were my sister, and that you were a witch going to Hogwarts. But I don’t have definite memories about anything.”
“I’m sorry.”
Eleanor takes a deep breath. “Yeah, well. I wanted to tell you so you’re not surprised if I have changed a lot since the last time we’ve seen each other.”
“You don’t remember anything?”
“No.”
No point in lying. However, it might not heal the damage Petunia’s done in the past.
“From what I’ve gathered, talking with Daniel and Rose. I’ve been very mean to you. That’s not cool. I’m sorry.”
Lily's gaping mouth would have been funny in any other situations but right now, Eleanor feels mighty uncomfortable.
“This is weird,” says Lily.
“Look, we might not be close and I might have done too much for us to ever be. But I want to start again. I will not call you names anymore, and I promise to listen to you when you talk about school.”
Lily nods, stunned. “Alright, Tuney.”
Ugh. That’s a fucking lame nickname.