Chapter Text
The Emperor was a bastard.
There. You said it, loud and clear. Emperor Belos was a bastard, a B-A-S-T-A-R-D, and you would unashamedly admit it out loud if you weren't 99% sure it would result in you "mysteriously disappearing" the next day.
To be completely honest, you didn't enter the Emperor's Coven hating the guy. You entered with the same ambitions as any other prospective coven scout; with the desire to be cannon fodder and yet another replaceable faceless figure to blend in amongst a large crowd of replaceable faceless figures.
You know. A respectable job. Even if you didn't get dental, or medical leave, or health insurance, or paid sick time.
But over time, as you became a cynical adult and a thoroughly disillusioned member of society, you've found that Emperor Belos was far from the calm, kind person you thought he was.
He was an all out prick.
Now it's not like it was obvious or anything- he was remarkably good at hiding his true nature- but you saw through his guise very quickly.
Exhibit A) the Waste Bin Incident. After attending yet another lavish festival held in his name for one accomplishment or another, he finished off some fairy floss (taken from real fairies, kicking and screaming) and tossed the remaining trash at the garbage. However, it didn't land inside… and he did. Not. Pick. It. Up. Emperor Belos littered . The horror.
Exhibit B) the Hallway Incident. While you were making your way down the hall to where you would be posted, the Emperor was also making his way down the opposite direction. After passing you, he brushed against you and did NOT accept your hurried apology. The audacity.
Exhibit C) he's just… kind of a bitch. Like all the time. ALL the time. Aside from his previous shows of deviousness (of which you still shudder to think about), and those small incidents where he mysteriously disappeared people he didn't hold in too high of a regard (you're pretty sure you saw the hems of his robes stained red at one point after yet another sudden and tragic disappearance, but you couldn't say for sure), Emperor Belos was super passive aggressive. To everyone. It's almost like he hated the sheer presence of any living creature on the Boiling Isles that had dared to even breathe in his direction, but that'd be ridiculous.
In any case, the old man himself seemed to pick up on your nonverbal gestures of sheer unbridled hate, rage, and ticked off annoyance, and somehow it turned into a situation where he focused all of his shittiness onto one single person: you.
He was the bane of your existence. Just a few weeks ago you tripped over your untied shoelaces, and he popped up evilly like the evil person he was, and in that same evil manner he said, "Oh, dear, are you alright?" After you affirmed that you were okay, he made an amused sound and said, "Good. I do hope the quality of the Coven Scouts haven't stopped to such a low that they are a danger to themselves."
Bastard!
Or- or how about just the other day, when you were standing guard at the side of his throne and he leaned over to you, all smug like, and said, "I'm glad to see you've recovered from your injury. I do hope you've learned to watch where you're walking this time, because clearly asking you to know how to tie your own shoes is too great of a demand." He then glanced down at your boots and then up at you pointedly.
Bastard! Just because you chose to replace your laces with velcro does NOT mean you don't know how to tie your shoes!
You felt yourself let out a huff as you sat and brooded in your room. The only upside to being a Coven Scout is the room and board that was provided; something very convenient since you were pretty sure you guys should've been sleeping together in barracks. Plot contrivances aside, you were still in mid-brood as you heard knocking on the door.
"I'm busy," you called out, upset at being interrupted from your brooding, but then the door opened regardless of your call and suddenly you were preoccupied with the ice rushing through your veins.
You stood and spun to face the intruder (privately glad you already took your cloak and mask off because boy if those things didn't mess with your depth perception), a hand raised and already in the middle of casting a spell when you froze upon seeing who was in your room.
Emperor Belos himself had stepped inside, locking the door behind him with one hand as he loomed over you. He would have looked very intimidating, were it not for the glitter he was covered in.
You very carefully did not laugh, and by did not laugh you meant that you scrunched your face up like you tasted something particularly sour just so you didn't cry laughing.
He was eerily quiet, a sort of calm stillness having washed over him as he stood over you, before he said, "It seems I was right, then."
"Uh- huh?" You asked.
"About the culprit of this… disrespect," he tilted his head. "I knew of your previous reservations, but I had no idea you loathe me so."
You turned and lifted your chin high, tapping your cheek with a finger before humming affirmatively. "Yeah, I've got no clue what you're talking about," you lied, with a small smile. "I had no hand in whatever happened to you, but, on the bright side, sparkles really suit you."
He stared at you like you were an idiot, and maybe you were, but you already knew you were probably going to die just for one last hurrah of a prank, and if you were going down you may as well go down swinging.
"You do know what the crime for such treachery is, do you not?" He slowly asked, as if you were a child and not a full grown adult.
"A five year vacation? Please say it is so. Between you and me, I can't stand the people in this place," you lowered your voice conspiratorially. " Some people, specifically some very tall and royal people, cough cough, are totally obnoxious."
Belos stared at you behind his mask, completely unreadable. After a few tense moments of which you were counting down to your demise, he let out a chuckle.
"Well. I would say I'm surprised, but knowing you, this level of unfounded idiocy seems to be as expected," Belos suddenly said, voice more amused than anything.
You deadpanned. "Uh, pardon?"
He waved a single gauntlet covered hand around, masked face tilted to the side as if he were thinking. "It's just that, well… you're a bit… hm, how do I put this, exactly?"
"Are you calling me stupid?" You asked, incredulously.
He snapped his fingers, voice alarmingly filled with cheer. "Yes! That's just the word I was looking for! Stupid !"
"... Seriously?"
"Would you rather I use a different word?" Belos sounded genuinely earnest, clasping his hands behind his back as he leaned down to your level. "I can if you like. Imbecilic, unintelligent, brainless, foolish-"
You held up a hand, interrupting him as you shook your head and laughed. On the inside you were screaming with fear, but on the outside you were about as composed as you were completely lying your pants off.
"Yeah, yeah, I get it. I don't take back what I said, though. And besides," you glance up at him with narrowed eyes, "better a young idiot than an old fool."
"Excuse me?"
You continued speaking even as Belos grew dangerously still. Yeah. That was the one thing about the Emperor that you'd managed to figure out during your time as his self-proclaimed arch nemesis- he had one hell of a fragile ego.
"It's just that, me being young and dumb gives me more room to learn, while with you… well. You know what they say about old abominations and new tricks."
Belos leaned into your personal space, a single hand reaching up to hold your shoulder. His voice was strained between his usually calm way of speaking and an annoyed one.
"I recommend that you hold your tongue," he warned.
You smiled pleasantly and pressed a single finger into the forehead of his mask, pushing him away with little effort on your part. "I recommend that you kiss my ass."
Belos drew himself back, an air of incredulity surrounding him as he stepped away from you. His white cloak swooshed rather dramatically in the process.
"This is the last of you transgressions that I will allow," he vowed, "I've been lenient on you for just being a simple minded Coven Scout-"
"I really don't appreciate that, by the way."
"-but it seems I've been too soft dealing with you. Perhaps a more heavy handed approach is required."
You shrug, and spread your arms wide. "Fine. Whatever. Come at me, I won't put up a fight."
He raised a hand, before stopping. "You're just giving up? Like that?"
"Uh, yeah? You're the emperor . You can literally just smite me by looking at me, there isn't really much point in fighting back," you pointed out. "Also, I've kinda come to accept my inevitable end at your hands, after all those jokes."
"You flooded my chambers with abomination magic, planted flesh eating tulips in the garden, and swapped my cloak with one that was several inches too long so that whenever I walked I would trip on it," he listed off only a few of your crimes against him, and you could feel yourself swell with pride.
"Hah, yeah, those were crazy times," you said.
"That was all last month."
"Honestly, it's a wonder you haven't tried to just," you dragged a finger across your throat, "and get it over with, yanno? I've been waiting for something like this to happen."
Belos went silent. You watched him curiously as he stepped towards you.
"You've been… waiting, for me to come here and confront you?" He asked, slowly.
"I mean, not specifically here, but confronting me? Yeah," the admission was easy and eerily calm. Maybe you should've been freaking out a bit more, though your self preservation skills have sort of fizzled out at this point.
"So you wanted… my attention… specifically?"
"I wouldn't say wanted , just kind of-"
"Ah," Belos hummed, tapping the chin of his ugly mask, "I see now. You've been propositioning me."
There was a long, drawn out silence. You were startled into standing upright, jaw hanging slack as you stared at the witch in front of you in shock. You lifted your hands, trying to make sense of what just came out of the Emperor's mouth as you gestured randomly, but nothing came out.
Eventually, after a few deep breaths so you didn't hyperventilate, you said, " What? "
The air in the room was tense. Or, well, you were tense. He was just kind of standing there, probably with a stupid smug grin on his face, feeling like he solved a great mystery.
You repeated yourself. "I- huh- what ?"
He gave you a simple shrug, stepping around you in a maneuver that was probably meant to make him seem like a predator circling his prey, but in the small room it was more like him awkwardly shuffling beside you to squeeze behind you and then back in front of you.
"Why else would you be trying to grab my attention? Clearly you've been vying for me for a long time," he said, as if that were a reasonable deduction to make.
You let out a harsh, barking laugh. A hand came up to clasp your forehead as you stared in disbelief. "Are- are you going senile?" You snapped at him, stepping away from Belos. "Are you seriously so up your own ass that you can't fathom that, maybe, I just don't like you?"
Belos seemingly didn't hear a word you said, shaking his head solemnly. "Unfortunately for you, I have standards."
"Excuse me? Hey? Are you listening to me?" Almost desperately at this point, you waved your hands above your head in an attempt to gain his attention. "You deal with assassination attempts like every other week, how is this so hard for you grasp?"
He let out a deep, pitying sigh, and locked onto you with a gaze that probably said, "You fool. You absolute buffoon. You pitiable insect," in his heart of hearts. "Even if you still harbor such deep feelings for me, I will have to decline your advances."
You cradled your head in your hands, almost wanting to cry from the sheer mortification. "I'm actually fine with dying if I don't have to deal with this. Dear Titan, I do not want to sleep with you."
Belos missed a step, almost stumbling on the hem of his robes as he stopped and looked at you. He was hunched over so the tips of the horns from his mask didn't scrape the ceiling.
"... you don't?" He inquired.
" No. "
"... are you sure?"
You stared at him. "I- what kind of question is that?!"
He seemed to take that as a request to rephrase his previous question. "Are you sure you don't want to have… relations with me?"
"First of all- relations ?" You said incredulously, and he discretely looked away as you pointed at him. "Second of all, are you propositioning me right now?"
"I don't know," he coolly said. "Am I?"
"Sort of?"
"Oh," The blue eyes in Belos' mask shuttered, as if he were blinking. "Well. Do you?"
You didn't know how to respond. First of all, this guy was your mortal (one-sided) enemy. His vibes were rank as all fuck, and sometimes he left weird green slimy stuff on the ground, and he was utterly insufferable.
Despite all of that, you were a bit tempted.
You scratched your head. "I… huh. I don't know. It'd feel a bit like graverobbing if I did. But then again…"
You looked him up and down.
"Yeeaah, it would feel weird with you wearing your mask."
"You do know I can just remove this, right?"
At this point, Belos simply popped off his mask and revealed- a fairly aged witch. He had long, graying hair that was messy and unkempt, a crooked nose, and those same blue eyes that always shined out from within the sockets of his mask. What caught your attention was the green mark across his face, and his strangely small ears- both curious things, but they could just be… genetic, or something. Whatever.
Honestly, he didn't look that bad.
"Wow," you said, distracting yourself from the fact that you thought the Emperor was maybe sort of kinda attractive. "I thought it was surgically attached to you or something."
Belos' brows drew into a tight ans frustrated scowl, and his eyes narrowed in disapproval. "Do you or do you not want to fornicate?" He asked in that same, soft tone he always had, which… just made the entire situation that much weirder.
"Fine, whatever, just as long as you never use the word 'fornicate'," here, you shuddered for extra effect, "again."
In a flash of motion, you reached up and gripped him by the front of his clothes, dragging him to your level. You gave him an easy smile. "But I'm afraid I'll be the one leading here. Alright?"
Belos laughed drily as his hands came up to grip your wrists, but that only encouraged you to tighten your hold on his clothes. "You forget your place."
"Feel free to do what you want with me later," you said, pulling him close and drawing him in for a punishing kiss.