Chapter Text
Take Flight on Golden Wings
It was the day of Xiao’s departure and very few within the assembly walls were able to catch even a glimpse of the wayward boy. He spent the night giving a tear-filled goodbye to Madame Ping. Of, one would say it was more accurate that Madam Ping was the one awash with tears whilst Xiao sat rigid on his bed, unsure of how to manage such a display of emotion.
Come morning break he was quick to leave, but not before throwing out a stuttered bow to the elder adeptus on his way out.
Guizhong and Morax took refuge by the grand ginkgo tree. They did not think the boy would make his journey start without the proper goodbyes to the lands Gods, but as the day drew long and night crept closer, they could not help but wonder what thoughts circled his mind.
Guizhong sat the vision of grace, hands folded delicately in her lap. One would think her unbothered by this turn of events were it not for the slight downturn of her lips. Beside her sat a satin-wrapped parcel, tied elegantly in a deep purple ribbon.
Xiao’s clothing.
She had been up the whole night, checking and double-checking every seam. Running her hands constantly across the silken fabrics. She Folded it and then refolded it when it wasn’t neat enough.
She wore worry like a second skin; one would be none the wiser to the tumultuous thought brewing just beneath the surface if they did not know her as intimately as Morax did.
He did not offer her reassurance during the night; he knew how little his words would ease. So long as Xiao was to venture out on his own, her thoughts would not quiet, of this he knew well.
When morning broke, she found herself more a mess of emotions than even the night brought, and the longer the delay of Xiao’s impending departure the more anxious she became. She knew it was not right to seek the boy out, that it was best to let him come to them, but she wished only to see him, to spend as much time as time would allow in his presence.
He provided her with something she did not know she was missing. A part of her heart was made whole by his very existence. Morax eventually took her by the arms, guiding her gently to the tree where Xiao often sought solace. It gave a strange sense of calm to her soul. She felt closer to him, even when he was not nearby. Perhaps this tree would always provide her with that, no matter how far away he may wander, there will always be memories held here in the great tree’s reaching branches and winding roots.
“He will come, won’t he?” Guizhong asked with a stuttering worry.
“He will come,” Morax replied in turn, adjusting his shoulder slightly so that he may lean more comfortably against the ancient bark.
“Right, because of your stipulations at the meeting,” Guizhong said in such a way as if reassuring her own worries with her words.
“That is a part of it,” Morax said, his voice was low, almost rumbling as he spoke. “But it is not the sole reason, far from it in fact.”
“Not the only reason. What more reason other than what was told at the meeting?”
“He will come because it is you,” Morax told her, turning so that he may gaze upon her entirety.
“I know not of what you speak, silly dragon. Xiao is a being that follows the whims of what someone else tells him. I know that it is not his fault that he acts in such a way. I hope that, as he journeys, he discovers himself. At least a little bit.”
“He will,” Morax told her, his voice hard with conviction.
“How can you be so sure?”
“Hm, perhaps you’ll take my word for it.”
“As stubborn a dragon as he is silly,” Guizhong whispered beneath her breath with a near-silent laugh in accompaniment.
The two sat in companionable silence for a long while still. The sun began to dip below the horizon line, painting the sky in beautiful gold, and pink. A mosaic of tranquility swept across the sky and the two Gods could not help but admire the splendor. Guizhong lay nestled against Morax’s side, her head resting gently on his shoulder.
She still held the parcel in her grip, fingers clutching delicately to the gift.
Birdsong began to cease, and crickets were quick to take up the chorus.
Just when Guizhong began to think that Xiao had left before offering his goodbyes, there was a whirling burst of power before them. A teal and dark vortex of anemo appears and disappears just as suddenly.
In its place stood the aforementioned Adeptus. He looked sheepish, eyes cast to the ground, and hands clenched in the fabrics of his borrowed trousers.
“This one apologizes for its late goodbye,” He whispered, still refusing to lift his eyes to theirs.
“There is no need for apologies. You showed, and that counts for more than you could ever realize. It is not always the goodbye, sometimes it is the hello that goes most appreciated.” Guizhong told him gently.
On his arrival she was almost at her feet in an instant, wanting nothing more than to gather him in her arms and never let him go. Morax was quick to place his hand on her arm, stopping the impulsive movement with nothing more than a touch and a glance.
She was glad about it then, for she was almost certain she’d have frightened him.
Now however, she wishes for nothing more than to touch him once more, so that she may commit his very being into the memories of both her mind and her flesh.
To never once forget the boy so jaded from the world, never forget the boy so strong as to still love it.
“Have you prepared?” Morax asked him, his tone was even and open. He was a master at moving conversation away from strained topics. His skilled evasion tactics always used to irk Guizhong, but now she could not help but be glad for it. Xiao, after all, was a being who would go blue in the face from his impulsive and adamant apologies.
“This one has prepared as sufficiently as one was able.”
“And what, if I may, does that entail?”
“This one has said goodbye as one was instructed, and one spoke with Lord Marchosius so that they may learn almond tofu,” Xiao said. His face scrunched up in a cute twist of confusion and Morax could not help the soft exhale of laughter as Guizhong smiled beside him.
It was all so... domestic.
“You spoke with Marchosius, how did that go then?” Guizhong asked with a rather infectious humor. She knew all too well how little Xiao knew of the Lord of Stove’s mannerisms and speech.
“Mm, this one did not really know what it was the great one spoke of, but he gave this one a scroll with the recipe. It is written simply so even one such as I could understand it.”
“And do you, understand it?” she asked gently.
“Yes, this one was even given notes on where one would find the ingredients one would need.”
“That’s wonderful, I am gladdened to hear it,” She stood then, reaching for him so that she may cradle his cheek in her palm. “How else have you sought to prepare then little bird?”
Xiao furrowed his brow in thought.
‘There was nothing else to prepare’ he thought.
Morax, who seemed to be able to sense the apprehension hummed low in his throat and stood, taking his place beside the God of Dust. He reached into the gold and earth-toned robe he wore proudly on his shoulders and pulled from it a locket.
It was simple in design and aged, the varnish chipping away leaving a rust-tainted path in its wake. In the middle sat a glowing stone of cor lapis, which, despite its age, still gleamed with light and power.
“This is an adeptal abode. It’s small; I’m afraid there wasn’t much time before your set departure to make you something grander.
Xiao reached out with cautious hands and cradled the charm in his palm.
“An... adeptal abode?” Xiao asked.
The two gods could not help the feeling of sadness that pierced their emotions. To have something so integral to not only who he is, but what he is.
“An adeptal abode is as it sounds,” Morax told him patiently. “It is a dwelling in a separate plain of existence than the one we stand on now. It is a land that is created using adeptal energies, and when an adeptus such as yourself lives, or co-exists in that space it does wonders to replenish their energies. It both acts as a home and as a place of healing.”
“How does one use it?” he asked the Gods.
“All you need is to open it. The adeptal abode with pull you in, it will feel strange I will admit. It will provide you with a safe place to stay should you need it, but it is also, my hope that you may use it to not only strengthen your adeptal prowess but then use that newfound prowess to build and expand this abode and give yourself a home you feel safe in.”
Xiao scrunched his brow in thought, but wrapped the chain around his wrist, loose enough so the pendant dipped low enough to nestle in the curve of his palm. The metal was warm, almost otherworldly in nature. It was, Xiao supposed, created by the hands of the divine.
“Thank you,” Xiao bowed low, keeping his eyes on the ground. Not yet trusting himself to look the two Gods in the eye. He was awash in emotion, the memories he amassed during his stay at Guili were unlike anything he had ever experienced.
It was fear:
But it was a fear different than anything Azlin could ever hope to produce. Azlin was predictable after centuries of servitude. One did not fear her, but rather the pain that was inevitable to follow. Her presence as a whole did not breed terror, it was her punctuality to cause pain when she thought it necessary. It was her power to do so.
Living in Guili was a different type of fear. It was a fear of the unknown. It was fear of change and unpredictability that caused his heart to beat erratically and sweat to bead at his hairline. It was a fear that produced a strange but not altogether unwelcoming sense of adventure. Living at Guili was not a fear of being hurt –not in the physical sense anyway- he was very privy to the words whispered by the townsfolk. Instead, it was a fear of change. For better or for worse it was still unknown.
It was hope:
Azlin did not offer hope. It did not gleam in her eyes, did not drip like bitter honey from her lips. Instead, she crushed it between thin fingers, and ground any blooming hope beneath her palm until the wind swept it away so that it may take root in further lands. She would falsify her words and dangle some semblance of tarnished hope in front of her tormented people and whisk it away with a smile so cruel.
Hope was alive and well in the sprawling plains of Guili. It sat nestled in the brick and mortar of humble homes and seeped into the weather-worn wood of watch towers and the bridges that spanned the land. It breathed and thrived in the happiness of the smallest child and the oldest man. Hope was whispered with reverence at every bedtime story. It was heralded in every song. Hope that the mighty dragon that safeguards the lands will bring about a new era. A safe era. An era that guarantees prosperity in both life and wealth.
It was Happiness:
Happiness was an emotion so foreign to the land ruled by Lady Azlin. It was like a stranger whispered about in back alleyways and darkened rooms. It felt more like a friend one hadn’t seen or heard from in a long while. Happiness felt like a myth, he’d heard stories of its splendor and its light but never had he been privy to its gentleness.
Happiness here felt like the sweetest dream. No matter how many dreams he’s consumed nothing could ever compare to a happiness of his own making. It was warm and inviting in ways he could never have imagined. Every few fleeting moments of happiness felt like eternity on his skin and never did he want those moments to fade.
It was companionship:
Azlin did not allow anyone to form bonds under her ruling gaze. If people banded together, if anyone formed bonds, families, or friends then her power dwindles. If they decided to revolt, she would be left with nothing. She reveled in their cowering and sniveling, kept them in line with forced loneliness, and promised retribution. Those that coupled had formed from an inane human need to carry on their weakened species; to satisfy an itch they couldn’t help but scratch. It was a coupling fused not by love, but by lust.
Relations were very different here. He can’t say he’s an expert on the complexities of emotion or camaraderie but in the small glimpses he was given, in the tiny moments that he lived it, it was like his eyes opened to possibilities of love. Platonic love is one where their bonds are built on a foundation of mutual respect. At least, he hoped those few connections he managed to make were genuine in nature.
“There is no need for such formalities little bird, not here and especially not now,” Guizhong whispered to him gently, using her fingers to lift his chin, his gaze meeting hers. “How are you feeling Xiao, truly?”
Xiao was silent as he looked upon her, his eyes were downcast in thought brows scrunched ever so slightly. It warmed her heart knowing that he took that question in pure thought, warmed by the fact he didn’t regurgitate a response formulated by his tongue’s muscle memory.
“This one is... is confused....” Xiao settled on finally. Guizhong felt her heart leap to her throat as he uttered those words. To admit his true thoughts was a revelation in its own right.
“Okay, well, perhaps we can help.” She told him gently. She took the little bird by the hand and led him to sit beside her and Morax beneath the grand ginkgo. “What is confusing you?”
“This one... doesn’t know. This one just is very confused.”
“Hm, perhaps it would be beneficial for us to ask you some questions. It may help you in understanding your own thoughts.”
“Okay,” Xiao agreed quietly and looked to the Gods with expectation gleaming in his eyes.
“In regard to leaving the borders of the assembly what are your thoughts? Do you have somewhere in mind you want to go?” Morax asked him, his voice even.
“This one... would oft go to the mountains. The cold was nice, this one liked the wind and there were many animals that took refuge in the barren trees and burrows. They did not flee from this one, and it felt... nice.” He finished off lamely as if his own words brought embarrassment to his mind.
“I see, the mountains are indeed a sight to behold. I wonder then if perhaps it might be too cold to inhabit year-round. Do you plan to stay indefinitely, or will you perhaps drift when your mind so tells you?”
“This one thinks, perhaps they will find somewhere where the land meets the water. This one has... this one has been sent to a town near the waters... it was nice there before this one... before this one....”
“It’s alright little bird, we understand,” Guizhong said to him, hoping to stop the rancid thoughts that rumbled in his mind.
Xiao shook his head sharply.
“The town was nice before this one was sent into slaughter.” He said, the words rushing from him in one breath.
“It is not you who should shoulder the entirety of the blame little bird,” spoke the gentle tone of the dust god.
“It was the whim born of the puppeteer who cast the evil upon the lands, but it was the puppet's blade that nourished the land with the blood of the faultless,” Xiao said, tone unfeeling as he uttered those words.
“An interesting thought to be certain. "Consider this alternative,” Morax said, leaning forward as if to put more weight behind his words. “Puppets are born by the image of their creators. They are born with weakened arms, and weakened legs, and only by the puppeteer's own will, can they hope to grow stronger. The puppeteer pulls strings, and the puppet has no choice but to follow. So yes, the puppet did fell the blade but was it his will that moved his body?”
“Yet the blood stained only this one’s hands,” Xiao told him evenly. “When survivors think of their families that fell by a bloodstained blade, they do not curse Lady Azlin, do not even think of her. No, they think of the hound that tore throats from the flesh before they even chanced a scream.”
“Those that attend a puppet show, are often not given a glance of the puppeteer, they know they are there of course, but knowing and seeing are two completely different entities entirely. In a world ravaged by war, it is commonplace to know that every movement is often commanded by another. It is a sad fact of course, but blaming what we can see will always be easier than what we cannot.”
“It... does not make reality any easier to bear.”
“No, it does not.” He agreed solemnly. “To different topics then, so we may leave ill will at the doorstep. What of food, have you a sufficient way to keep yourself fed, or do you plan on resorting to the consumption of dreams?”
Xiao shuddered as if the very words caused his skin to crawl in repulsion.
“No, this one will not eat dreams any longer,” he said with conviction. “It was... too much, consuming them was too much and this one does not wish to be strangled in that grasp of addiction any longer.”
“Nightmares then?” Morax said gently.
“The... desire is too great... this one does not want to be tempted any longer. This one is proficient in hunting and foraging. Lady Azlin would oft send this one to replenish her supplies.”
“Okay, then forgive me, Xiao. It seems as if you have a location in mind and you are knowledgeable in the realm of survival, I wonder still what causes your confusion.”
“This one does not know Lord Morax, this one apologizes.”
“No. They are unneeded. I wonder still on the first question I asked; wonder if you would share your thoughts with us?”
Xiao furrowed his brow and looked to Guizhong for guidance. She smiled at him gently and gave him an encouraging nudge, her own eyes flickering to Morax in an almost gentleness a ghost of a smile playing at her lips.
“This one has already given one’s answer about where one is going,” he whispered with confusion.
“Ah, I asked one before that if you recall. I asked about your thoughts on leaving the Guili Assembly?”
Xiao chewed on his bottom lip in thought, eyes drifting across the sprawling lands before him. He picked at the loosened thread of his borrowed trousers and tried to rifle his way through the memories he garnered whilst residing here in the assembly. It was a strange thing to think about for too long.
At the forefront of his mind was fear. Because of course there was, his body seemed intent on producing a never-ending flood of cortisol, seemed to throw torrent after torrent of adrenaline surging through his veins like molten dread. It was all-encompassing,
But, somewhere buried under the heaps of dismay and despair was something a bit more... lighthearted. Somewhere deep beneath the surface of his being was a feeling of gratitude. It seemed to hum like heat in his chest cavity making his fingers tingle in a way that was more pleasant than unnerving.
Living in Guili was like a breath of fresh air and a dip in the icy waters all at the same time. Living here made his heart beat faster and his lungs seize in his chest. Living here made his eyes gleam with intrigue and happiness but it also caused his palm to sweat and mouth to dry.
It was all so confusing, living here.
This confusion that he tried so hard to sort out but never quite could. Trying to shift his way through emotions so foreign and experiences so new they threw his mind off kilter. It was disorienting and scary and just... so confusing. It boggled Xiao’s mind that humans experienced these emotions much more intensely than he as an adepti ever could.
Being a creature, and entity that thrives for eons, he supposed they just became numb to some of the emotions of the world. He supposed in a way that disconnect from emotion can keep your mind sane in a world filled with insanity.
“Little bird?” Guizhong asked him gently, slowly pulling him from the stupors of his mind. “You’ve been quiet an awful long while. Are you alright?”
“Yes, Miss Guizhong, this one is well.” He said to her quickly as if realizing the two gods still sat beside him. “This one thinks, well, this one thinks that leaving is what confuses this one so.”
The two gods sat in solidarity beside him, not voicing their thoughts or pushing him. Simply they existed beside him an anchor that for the longest time he didn’t know he needed.
Confused, because now that he has that anchor, the thought of pulling it up and being lost once more in a sea of memories and fear and sadness was almost too overwhelming. A stuttering fear that almost made him call off his departure altogether.
Almost.
Almost because the thought of still staying in this barless cage bound by the ink and words of a contract signed out of some feeble part of his mind reaching in desperation towards a life he never could quite reach for.
To settle his aching wings in the hollows of a grand and ancient tree and settle down with the mundane continuity of the day. Not lifting a blade in anger, revenge, or order.
Not screaming, his lungs raw from anger and jealousy or fear.
He wanted a life like the time before Azlin, a mundane life lived in the folly of his own whims and reason.
“This one is confused because it is... very new; very different than anything this one had ever known. Being here is a fear one didn’t know existed, but it is also a happiness one was certain it had forgotten. Being here was safe but it was also as if one spent one's day traipsing around pitfalls and blades.”
His words seemed to grow in power as he spoke as if he grew impassioned at the words his tongue wove out before him.
“This one fears that if one stays here too long, if one grows complacent in one's placement then one will never walk out of the shadows of Lady Azlin's words. If one stays here bound by the contract then... one is no freer than the walls of Lady Azlin's stone room. To loosen the leash of the dog does not free them from their master's grip.”
Xiao swallowed thickly, closing his eyes against the painful words hammering against his ears, spoken by his own vile lips. He quivered; eyes pinching shut as if expecting a strike in retaliation for his words.
Nevertheless, he pushed forward. Swallowing the fear that festered inside him and searching in desperation for even the tiniest sliver of courage.
“This one wants... more than anything this one- this one-” he paused then as if sorting the words through his mind, searching for the words that so desperately escaped him. “I want to be free again, more... than anything.”
Morax and Guizhong studied him for a long while. Eyes roaming over his face; noting the bloodied lip from where his canine sunk too deep.
Took in the shaking of his hands and watched his feet shifting anxiously right to left and back again.
They took in all of him, so scared of the expansive world set before him but determined anyway.
They saw him now and marveled how he grew so greatly from the quivering wraith of a boy who had pleaded so earnestly for death.
“You have grown so much little bird. How it makes my heart soar.” Guizhong told him, a watery smile stretching across her cheeks.
Morax said nothing, only offering the boy a ghost of a smile, a nearly imperceptible nod of his head. Acknowledgment of the growth he exhibited.
“This one thanks you most ardently for allowing me asylum. This one is not sure how one is meant to go about repaying the honorable ones for showing such kindness,” he said softly and dipped low at the waist, the dark fringe of his hair doing well to hide his eyes from their sight.
A strange emotion bubbled in his throat and his eyes had begun to itch terribly.
He swallowed harshly against the foreign lump that stayed persistently lodged in his throat, and he feared if he spoke now then the words would flee leaving nothing more than a puff of air in their wake.
“Kindness need not be repaid, for one does not offer compassion in hopes of recompense.” Morax spoke evenly “I hope that you take this kindness and nurture it so that you may one day pass it to another who is in need of it.”
Xiao looked confused at his words but nodded anyway. He had come to realize Morax often spoke in such a way. He was not one to give a direct answer, instead giving one the building blocks to find it on their own. Xiao thought –secretly, for he would never dare to ask- that Morax only got away with such a tactic because of his great age.
“Journeying on one's own can be quite an arduous task, it is not much but I hope it will do well in aiding you,” Morax spoke and reached his hand forward and pulled at the ether.
From the shimmering sparks of gold that broke about the sky came a long and slender polearm. It was amber in color, similar to the glow that roped down the length of the Geo Archons' arms. The tip on the spearhead was black and the motif of a dragon danced around the hilt.
Xiao reached out tentatively to grasp the blade, and once he held firm, Morax released it in turn.
It was heavier. Much heavier than any polearm that Xiao ever carried in the past, but the weight offered a strange sense of reassurance. Offered a way for him to protect himself should another like Azlin come along.
Holding a blade in his grasp once more caused a shiver to follow the length of his spine... he couldn’t even pinpoint the exact feeling it just felt, right?
It felt like coming home in a strange sort of way.
It felt like –holding a blade- as if he belonged somewhere after so long of floating in a sort of in-between.
“This is...” Xiao began to say in apprehension, his gaze still transfixed on the blade.
Morax held up his hand halting the words before they had the chance to fall from his lips
.
“It is yours. I could not in good consciousness send you out into a war-torn world without means to protect yourself. Use it well.”
Xiao pursed his lips and brought the blade closer to himself slowly, as if giving the God the chance to retract his statement and take back the beautiful weapon. He tightened his grip once more after no action was taken against him and banished the blade back to the ether.
Guizhong came forward next, holding her arms out in front of her, her small and gentle hands beckoning Xiao closer with a small gesturing wave. He shuffled forward on unsure feet and was met wither her soft hands curling around his biceps and folding his body close to hers, the draping sleeves shrouding him away from the world.
It was warm.
Xiao had grown used to the hugs that Lady Guizhong and Madame Ping would give him, always so soft and gentle. Grew used to the gentle nudges from Bonanus, and head pats from Menogias.
Grew so used to these casual touches that he was sure such touches would cease to rattle him.
But this, it felt differently. Being wrapped in Guizhongs’ arms was the safest he had ever felt in such a long while that he could not help but raise a hand to tangle his fingers in the thick fabrics of her robes.
He felt her smile against his temple so he could only assume the action was well received. Appreciated even? He couldn’t be sure given how little he understood about the nuances of emotion.
“I am so proud of you my little bird,” She whispered to him. Her breath ghosted across his ear. “When you first arrived, I was so frightened you wouldn’t survive. Thank you for proving me wrong.”
She pulled away from him then but made sure to keep him close. Her hands cupped around his face, thumbs brushing the skin of his cheek in a soft caress.
“This one only lives because the honorable ones worked hard to that it was so. This one did... very little.” He told her, voice steady and sure. She gave him a sad smile and shook her head.
“No, though it true we provided poultice and bandage it was your strength and will that have brought you this victory. Relish in its little bird, it was a war well fought. And I am sure, more than anything, you will continue to succeed.”
He nodded, unsure of what words he could ever hope to say in comparison to those that she uttered with such certainty.
Even though he did not speak she seemed to understand the gratitude he was feeling for she smiled a watery and happy smile, pulling his head forward to press a kiss to his forehead.
Xiao felt his face flush at such affection and his heart felt like it was squeezing.
Guizhong stepped back and leaned down to pick up the silk-wrapped parcel she so lovingly fretted over. She glanced at it, turning it every which way and swiping away invisible dirt before thrusting the package in Xiao’s direction. He reached forward, fingers hesitating a hairbreadth away from the silk wrappings, and looked at the two Gods in question.
“It’s your clothes. I am very sorry they took so long to complete. I just, I really wanted them to be perfect.” Guizhong explained gently, pushing the parcel more insistently in his hands.
Xiao looked at the borrowed clothes he wore, and then back to the package.
“Should this one... go and put these on, and...” He looked out to the horizon line where the sun began to dip and bit his lip in apprehension.
“No, you can keep those. It would be beneficial to have more than one pair of clothing I should think. And... well it’s another thing to remember us by.”
Xiao nodded and finally took the clothing in his grasp, and he could not help but marvel at the texture of silk against his fingertips.
Like a dream.
Almost.
“Thank you,” He whispered, banishing the parcel to the ether so that it may join his new weapon. “This one... thank you,” he said once more.
“You are most welcome little bird. Now, I fear we have kept you far too long. Best be off before the sun retires. Be sure to look after yourself and don’t forget your wing excersizes. Cloud retainer will have my head if those beautiful wings fall to folly,” Guizhong said, her voice choked with sorrow.
Xiao gave one sure nod, brow crunched together.
He stepped forward once hand reaching to the Gods before him before thinking better of it and letting his hand fall limp at his side. He turned away, and in a swirling mass of anemo –he was gone.
The lady Guizhong fell to her knees, an aborted sob falling from her lips and Morax stood sentinel by her side, hand resting solidly on her shoulder.