Work Text:
The age old question….What do women do when they are feeling out of sorts?
Well, when that woman was Penelope Featherington, she clicked "Add To Cart", and purchased herself a brand new, shiny, amazingly powerful, bejeweled and beautiful… item.
And yes, it did lift her spirits and make her feel better!!
Penelope has been feeling out of sorts lately, there really wasn't a reason she could pinpoint. She had examined all the aspects of her life, and found nothing out of place or lacking.
Work had actually been going very well at Whistledown magazine, where she has been writing a column for the past four years. In fact, she just received a bonus and a glorious review from her editor in chief, Agatha Danbury, which was a miracle in itself.
Her family, while they could be rather crass and shallow, had not been too bad the last time she had visited. Her mother, Portia, had even complimented her choice of dress, which had been the biggest surprise of the night. Of course, it was a yellow sundress, and it did look amazing on her, but her mother NEVER, ever complimented her outfits. So, it was one for the memory album for sure. She even had a delightful luncheon with all three of her sisters just a week ago.
Her friends were absolutely amazing. Mostly consisting of the Bridgertons and their spouses, she spent nearly all her non-working hours with one of them. She even considered Violet Bridgerton to be her second mother.
Eloise Bridgerton had been her best friend since they were six years old, and they shared a two bedroom flat in London until five months ago, when Eloise moved in with her boyfriend, Philip. Penelope was genuinely elated for her friend and wanted nothing more than her happiness. In fact, she relished the time she had alone in the flat.
Although, that only lasted a few weeks. When Colin Bridgerton came home from his latest adventure, he asked if he could move in. Of course, Penelope could deny him nothing, and readily agreed.
'Hmmmm... Could this be the reason for the out of sorts feeling I've been having? Noooooooooooooo, couldn't be that...could it?' she thought to herself.
Where to start about Colin? He was Eloise's older brother and one of Penelope's best and closest friends. Honestly, she'd probably say he was the person closest to her, even more than Eloise. He's also a writer for Whistledown magazine, but his column requires traveling and he writes about his adventures, the food, and the people he meets. He's also the nicest person you could ever meet, easily making you feel like you're the most interesting person in the room. And to say he's attractive would be a HUGE understatement. Women flock to him, like flies, but he doesn't even realize it most of the time.
And Penelope has been in love with him most of her life. While he sees her as a great friend, she's come to terms with this, and is happy to have him in her life as her best friend and roommate.
Kate, Anthony, Benedict and Sophie are some of Penelope's favorite married couples to hang out with. The two couples are so different, but so much fun to be around!
Kate and Anthony are just so passionate about literally everything. With them on your side, you better bet you will be supported 100%. You can really see how much they care for their family and Penelope was family to them. It felt good being with them.
While Benedict and Sophie are more laid back, they are deeply in love and absolutely adore each other. Being with them makes you believe in love and fairy tales. They're also totally hilarious!
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Today is the day that Penelope's mystery package is set to arrive and she is super excited. It just happens to be a day in which all her friends have come over to hang out and watch movies. All day, she has been giddy and happy as ever.
Her friends can't understand why she is so excited about it. They are all speculating about what she could be receiving.
Colin thinks she's getting the new set of baking pans she has been admiring. He can't say he would be sad about that, he loves her…her baked goods, that is.
Baking IS her favorite thing to do aside from writing .. well .. besides hanging out with him .. eating said baked goods.
Eloise thinks she's getting a new notebook or pen set. She's always so practical and she does get excited about her pen sets. She has a collection of them.
Kate suggests that she is getting a vibrator, and Colin's eyes open wide and his ears turn red. He coughs at this, and turns his body visibly to the side. No one notices his reaction, or so he thinks, but Kate just smugly smiles behind his back at Sophie. The two women know that he has feelings for Penelope, but he's not acted on them yet. Kate's just giving him a little push.
Anthony thinks she's getting new shoes, because what else would a woman get that excited for. That's usually what Kate gets excited about ordering
Benedict gives Sophie a quick sly look and then agrees with his brother. Sophie suggests possibly a new sexy outfit, or some lingerie? Colin breaks into a full coughing fit, and the girls smirk at each other.
Meanwhile, Penelope has just shaken her head and laughed at all their suggestions. She did turn red at Kate's guess, and at Sophie's. But she was saved from any more guessing by the doorbell ringing.
It was FINALLY here! She squealed excitedly and ran to the door. She signed for the package, which was HUGE! It was almost 2 meters tall but only 15 centimeters wide. The box was heavier than she thought it would be, and she had Colin help her bring it inside.
When she finally gets the package inside, everyone waits anxiously to see what it is (having put down bets with their guesses) and are all dumbfounded when they see what she got herself.
Well, it wasn't baking pans, a pen set, nor was it shoes. And it definitely was not a vibrator, not at that size!!!! And her breasts were large but lingerie didn't weigh as much as this box. She bought herself….
A SWORD.
A sword that is twice her height. (Ok, not really, but it is taller than she is.) It's an antique, from the 1700s, with a bejeweled hilt. It did not have a scabbard, which was a disappointment for Penelope, but it didn't dim her excitement.
Eyes wide and with a huge smile, Penelope picks up the sword and raises it straight over her head. "Whom shall I Knight first?" she jokes. However, with the sword's length, and her short stature, it's so heavy that she is immediately overtaken by the force and ends up running forward to keep it balanced. Her friends start running to get out of the way, to an outsider it would seem that she is chasing them with the sword. Finally, Colin steps in and helps her by stepping behind her and grabbing her arms to steadily bring the sword down. His hands remained on her arms and slowly moved up to her shoulders. The fire inside Penelope was intense at this point. Oh, if he only knew the effect he had on her. Letting out a breath she didn't know she was holding, she started laughing with the others. She didn't notice the breath that Colin let out, nor that he was not laughing.
"Um, I think there will be no Knighting today," she said between laughs.
Eloise starts laughing and is mightily impressed by this purchase. She's so impressed, she wants to get one of her own, and inquires where she got it.
Kate and Sophie are also impressed with the weapon, and are admiring the details of the hilt, chatting with her about the purchase.
Their husbands are standing there shocked. They cannot believe that little Penelope Featherington bought an 18th century sword, on a whim. They look over at Colin, to gauge his reaction, but noticed that he's missing from the room.
The rest of the party decide that it's time to leave, and gather their things. Penelope, realizing that Colin has mysteriously vanished, walks then all to the door and says goodbye.
When she turns around, Colin is standing there with an odd look on his face.
"Colin? It's everything okay? You just disappeared, and everyone just left," she says, with a wary tone. She wasn't sure how to read his mood right now. It wasn't like anything she'd ever experienced with him before.
"Why did you order that particular sword, Pen?" Colin asks, not even acknowledging her questions.
"What do you mean? We were talking about the artifact museum a few weeks ago, so I decided to take a look at their website and see what they had available. This sword had just came in and it was gorgeous, with the sapphires and rubies. It just spoke to me, and I had to have it," she explained. It really was that simple. She didn't mention that the sapphires were the same color as his eyes.
Colin smiled his "Penelope only" smile and pulled a box out from behind him. "So, when I was at that same artifact museum, I saw this, and I just had to have it. It also just spoke to me." He pulled out an identical sword which had a scabbard. "It came with 2 scabbards, and I wasn't sure why, until now."
"Oh, Colin."
He set the box down and grabbed both of her hands, looked into her eyes and said, "Penelope, now…seeing that you have bought the matching sword, I think it was more than just a coincidence. I bought the sword because the jewels reminded me of your beautiful blue eyes and your fiery red hair. And I have been trying to figure out, for the past five months, how to tell you that I'm in love with you. That I cannot imagine my life without you. I love you, Pen."
Penelope had tears threatening to fall, but she smiled and squeezed his hands and told the man she loved, "Colin, I have loved you for years. And nothing has ever made me happ…"
Her declaration was cut off by his lips on hers, soft and sweet, at first, then becoming more intense. When the pulled back to take a breath, he rested his forehead on hers and smiled at her. "I love you." They both said at the same time, and grinned at each other.
The rest is going to have to be up your imagination….
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As promised, this fic was inspired by this TikTok.
