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"Your bridge is so cool!" Wind exclaimed, standing a bit too close to the edge for Warriors comfort. The soldier subtly urged the young sailor away from the edge, only glancing at the seemingly bottomless pit just beyond the stone edge.
The Bridge of Eldin is indeed impressive - if Warriors ignores the hundreds of blatant safety hazards. Spanning hundreds of meters, the great stone bridge seemed to be suspended over a bottomless abyss of fog. A glance over either side was dizzying in that there was no safety railing to hold onto if one were to lose their balance to vertigo. Warriors, despite not being afraid of heights, finds himself gravitating towards the middle of the bridge. A glance at his group reveals that he's not the only one unnerved by lack of security. The only ones who venture out towards the edges are the ones without any common sense.
So, almost everyone else.
"This is really cool!" Wild says, using his slate like a telescope to see if he can use it to see the bottom of the canyon, "How deep is this thing?"
"I'm not too sure, honestly. I never asked. But I know a few people who might know," Twilight answers, walking besides him and gently pushing him to keep walking. While the rancher is usually the most anxious about keeping everyone safe, for some reason Twilight decided that today of all days was the day to slack off on his constant vigilance. He strolls calmly along the bridge without concern.
"Have you ever dropped something down there to check? Like a torch or something?" Hyrule asked.
"I actually did!" Twilight admits, "Funny thing, though. I never saw it land. It just disappeared."
Though that admittance makes Warriors stomach clench a little the others seem to think it was impressive. Wild immediately pulls out a spare torch and Hyrule snaps his fingers to light it. Wind wanders over to them just as they drop it. Curiously, the other Links stop walking and await the echo of the torch striking ground.
After an entire minute of waiting only silence greets them.
"WHOA!" Wind exclaims, making a few others jump in surprise, "That's deep!"
"Yes, it is. Best stay away from the edge," Warriors says, pulling the strays closer to the middle of the bridge, cursing Twilight for making him act the mother hen for once. This is not his job, dammit!
"What do you think is at the bottom?" Four asks, insatiably curious as always, "Why is there so much fog? Is it always like that?"
"It is. Not sure why, but my Hyrule is filled with giant crevasses that seem to go on forever. There's one right outside Ordon and another in Faron. As for what's at the bottom - it’s anyone's guess. I haven't heard of anyone ever exploring it."
"Want me to check?" Wild asks suddenly, smiling wide and paraglider materializing in his hands. Next to him Wind copies his smirk and pulls out his deku leaf.
For fucks sake-! Warriors takes two steps towards the pair and grabs their tunics, "Put those away! No one’s jumping into a bottomless pit."
They hit him with twin looks that just scream ‘Killjoy’.
Dammit! This is why Warriors always left the mothering to Twilight. He was supposed to be the fun one!
"Probably smart," Twilight finally decides to chime in, "I don't know what you'd find at the bottom and I certainly don't know how you'd get back up. And don't say travel medallion - I know it doesn't work outside your Hyrule. Same with your cyclones, Wind. I know they're not as accurate as you claim."
Wild's mouth closes with an audible click while Wind just pouts about his fun being ruined. Thankfully, neither of them actually try to jump. So the group was safe to move on. Warriors did his best to move the group discussion onto another topic, both to keep the most adventurous of the group from reevaluating their impromptu skydiving plans and also just because he’d rather not linger on the giant ravine they were crossing over.
And the conversation did move on. Until Four asks a question.
"Wait," The small smith asks suddenly, derailing Time's riveting conversation about the care and safety of cucco wrangling, "Twilight, you said no one's ever touched the bottom of this ravine?"
"I did. Why?"
"Well, how is this bridge even standing then?"
Eight confused looks stare at him.
"I mean, I had assumed that there were support beams under the bridge holding it up. But if the bottom is far down then there’s no way that there are beams. So how is this thing standing?"
"You do know that not every bridge has support beams right?" Legend points out.
Four rolls his eyes, "Yeah, I'm aware. But bridges without support under them have to have support above them in suspension and such. But look, there's no support at all. So how is this solid stone bridge being held up?"
An uncomfortable silence rings out between them. Legend steps further from the edge and Sky subtly grips his sailcloth.
Oh no, Warriors thinks, I don't like this.
Twilight doesn’t make it any better, "I don't know. I've never seen anyone do any maintenance on this thing, so I couldn't say."
“No maintenance? Ever? On a bridge like this? After an invasion?” Four’s eyebrows raise in surprise.
“Yeah. The castle kinda got blown up when Ganondorf invaded so most of the resources got directed there. Plus, my Hyurle isn’t that great at maintaining infrastructure. I basically had to fund the new Eastern bridge out of Castle Town, and repair the one in the Faron Region,” Twilight sighs, “I even had to clear a collapsed tunnel leading to a whole village. The Royal family in my Hyrule doesn’t have a lot of resources to spare so whatever isn’t completely necessary gets passed over. It’s a bit of a problem around here, actually.”
Warriors looks down, hair on the back of his neck raising when he spots all the cracks running along the floor.
Oh no, he thinks I definitely don't like this.
But before his mounting unease can make a verbal appearance the Old Man gets everyone's attention with a casual chuckle.
“I wouldn’t worry,” He smiles easily, casually walking ahead of everyone and ruffling Twilight’s hair as he passes the rancher, “I think we should all know our ranch hand well enough by now to know that he’d never put us in danger. I’m sure this bridge is sound.”
The Old Man is the epitome of calm, complete with the gentle smile and trustworthy eye. As annoying as it is to be emotionally manipulated so easily, Warriors can say that he's glad that Time's got that skill down to a Tee. Everyone physically relaxes and follows Time as he keeps walking. With the tension once again killed, conversation starts back up.
"Exactly," Twilight beams at Time’s faith, "Don't worry. This bridge is totally stable!"
Of course it is, Warriors reasons. What had he been thinking? Doubting Twilight was ridiculous. Twilight is easily the most neurotic about safety - there's no way he'd ever lead them into something dangerous.
Hyrule pipes up “So, lots of messed up bridges in your world, huh? You must have a lot of experience dealing with them.”
"I sure do,” Twi chuckles, “I don’t know what it was about the invaders but they sure liked destroying bridges. Barricades, archers, traps of burning oil - they did whatever they could to make the bridges completely unusable. They even ripped the wooden ones right out of their supports!”
“Yeesh!” Wild exclaims, “In this era? With all these huge gaps everywhere? That must have been a pain! Good thing this one was stone, then. That’s probably what saved it from getting destroyed.”
Twilight snorts, kicking a pebble off a ledge nonchalantly, “You’d think, right? But nope - they actually tore right through this one, too.”
Warriors freezes in his tracks. So does everyone else.
Twilight keeps walking though, not noticing everyone’s sudden stop, “I honestly preferred the traps on the bridge in Hylia - at least I could get through there once I cleared it. On this one they somehow took the middle right out and left a good fifty meter gap between the North and South ends, making it completely unusable. Getting around that was such a drag, I’ll tell you. I think it added a good two weeks to my whole journey just because I had to keep taking the long way around-”
“I’m sorry, hold on” Time interrupts, putting on hand in the air to stop Twilight’s rambling, “Did you just say this bridge was once destroyed?”
“Well, I wouldn't say destroyed, per say. More like…disconnected. I mean, the two sides were technically still standing-”
“This bridge,” Time emphasizes with a light tapping of his foot, “The one you explicitly mentioned never gets any repairs or service. This bridge was destroyed?”
"Yes, this bridge. But it wasn’t destroyed! I said it was still standing after a chunk was ripped out," Twilight scratches the tip of his ear, confused as to why everyone had stopped moving, "That's a good thing! It's a testament to how sturdy this thing is!"
No, no it isn’t.
"But you said no one ever got around to fixing it, so does that mean it’s still broken?" Wind asks, standing on his tippy toes to look down the bridge to see if he can spot the gap. Seeing him do that just a few inches from an edge gives Warriors sympathy vertigo.
"Of course not! I fixed it! I wouldn’t take you over a broken bridge," Twilight rolls his eyes.
"You fixed it? How? If a whole piece was ripped out…" Warriors inquires uneasily. This thing was solid stone and a mile long. Even if only a few feet were ripped out it would still take more than a single man to repair it.
"Oh,” Twilight responds simply, “That’s easy - I just put it back."
A silence descended on the group as they all tried to understand what that meant.
"Put it back?” Legend's brow furrows in confusion and stress, “Put what back?"
"The piece."
"...what?"
"I put the piece back." Twilight spoke very slowly, as if he was explaining something very simple to a child.
"What do you mean you put it back?" Legend stresses, "What does that even mean?”
"It means I put it back!" Twilight throws his arms up with a great big huff, "What about that is not clear?"
"Everything! What is ‘it’? And put back where?"
Twilight exhaled sharply in a sign of annoyance. He gestures slowly but sharply, impatience bleeding into his every movement, "I found the bridge in the desert, and I put it back."
Wild cut in, scratching his head, “Wait, I’m confused. The bridge was in the desert?”
“No - a piece of the bridge was in the desert. I found it and teleported it back here and put it back where it came from.”
“How the hell - what was it doing in the desert?!” Legend demands, eye twitching in barely contained irritation. The only thing keeping the vet from leaping at Twilight was the very real fear that the floor under him might collapse if he dared jump.
“I don't know!” Twilight threw up his hands, acting way more exasperated than he deserved to, “Zant had a really weird thing about bridges. He just liked putting them in strange places.”
“Hold on - you found the broken piece of the bridge and put it back?” Four gasps.
“Yes!” Twilight looks relieved that someone finally understood.
“You used the broken piece? Wasn't it all, I don’t know, broken?!” Four yells, shattering Twilight's joy.
“Kinda? I mean, it was a bit banged up. But it still fit just fine!” The rancher held his hands up placatingly at the smiths mounting anger. Nothing aggravated the smith like sloppy craftsmanship.
How the hell had any of them ever thought Twilight was one of the smart ones?
“I cannot believe you used a bridge that was slapped together with broken parts,” Sky gasps, “I wouldn’t even do that! And I have a Loftwing to catch me if I fall! Please tell me you didn't actually use it when it was in that condition.”
“Of course I used it. We're using it right now!”
If it was possible to freeze more than they already had, they did it. Warriors was barely breathing, terrified to look down and tempt the gods.
“What do you mean we're using it right now? Are you seriously telling me that the broken chunk is still here? You didn't replace it?!” Four’s voice got higher and higher with each word, eyes roving the bridge for any signs of structural decay.
“Why would I have replaced it? It works fine,” Twilight grumbles. He was not enjoying being dogpiled on. He looked hopefully to Time for some more support but the Old Man offered none. The eldest hero was staring into the distance, dead-eyed.
“You must get it from Malon,” Time states vacantly, “This seems like something she’d do.”
Warriors has no idea what that means.
“Where exactly was it broken?” Hyrule glances around nervously, “Did we pass the broken part yet? Please tell me we passed it already.”
The rancher swivels back and forth, looking the stone path up and down in contemplation. Everyone waits on baited breath.
“Oh, that’s cool,” He says casually, as if discussing the weather and not the security of their lives, “We’re actually right on the part that was broken off. Huh, how funny!”
Wind squeaks.
Warriors relates.
“I told you not to worry,” Twilight smiles his best country boy smile at them, “This thing is perfectly stable. Here, I’ll prove it to you.”
Twilight digs around in his bag for a moment, letting loose a small pleased hum when he finds what he was looking for. He places a pair of metal boots on the floor and slips into them without a word. And if that wasn’t already alarming enough, the rancher pulls out a colossal ball and chain, so massive that he has to use two hands to hold it.
Then, with the brightest, most comforting country boy smile on his face, Twilight starts jumping.
Legend screams. Sky starts praying. Hyrule starts casting Fairy. Wind takes out his deku leaf. Wild pulls out his paraglider. Time slips on some funny looking slippers. Four accepts his fate.
Warriors moves faster than he ever had in his whole life and clasps his hands down on Twilight’s shoulders, “PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY - STOP JUMPING!”