Work Text:
Akira found Confusion to be the most amusing and annoying status effect he’s ever seen. You never knew what someone would do once they got hit with it and when they did do something, it was so out of character that he would try not to laugh as his other teammates yelled at him or each other to cure the poor victim.
Based on what he’s seen, it depended on who got hit to determine what exactly they did.
Akira knew whenever he got hit with it, he’d empty the contents of his endless pockets onto the floor and keep going until someone cured him or tackled him to the floor. He could never remember doing it, but he would always be amused by the faces his teammates would make when he would have to put everything back.
Morgana would start meowing like an actual cat, wandering around on all fours and going so far as to purring and rubbing against their legs for head scratches. In one instance when they were going through Okumura’s palace, Morgana had even begun to climb up Ryuji’s back while frantically meowing (or well screeching) in his ear. The only person who had enough willpower to stop laughing and help had been Makoto.
Akira had never been more grateful for the fact Futaba could record things within the metaverse.
Ryuji when confused would just start running around everywhere, as if he were still a track star. He’d rummage around his pockets for anything Akira had given him in case he needed healing and he’d pop it in his mouth in order to ignore the pain in his leg before suddenly dashing around the enemies with a loud war cry. He never managed to grab the item he needed to cure himself though. The first time he had ever done this, Akira had persuaded Morgana to chase after him before he took pity on the fact he had sent his cat after an unstoppable road runner and casted energy drop.
Ann was interesting when she was confused. Rather than do something drastic, she would suddenly scream and look down at her clothes as if she committed a crime against the fashion industry. She would exclaim the colors were out of fashion, the fabric pattern was gaudy, her hair didn’t match the style, and that her shoes were tacky. Other than that, she didn’t do much. It only became a problem when they were in Futaba’s Palace and she ended up trying to strip in an attempt to rid herself of the ‘Monstrosity’. Akira had to keep Yusuke in line due to the fact the artist was encouraging it while holding the sketchbook he carried everywhere. In the end, Makoto had managed to convince her she looked fine before giving her some relax gel.
Yusuke would just keep trying to paint everything. He’d suddenly drop to the ground, wrestling out his sketchbook before demanding loudly for everyone to stop moving so he could sketch the masterpiece before him. It was actually kind of interesting in Kaneshiro’s palace when a Nekomata actually obeyed, even going as far as to pose for him before turning to Akira to allow him to take them as his mask.
Makoto became a force to be reckoned with when she was confused. The first time it happened, no one had suspected much was wrong before Makoto suddenly called forth Johanna and decided to set off multiple traps in Futaba’s palace as she did tricks with the motorcycle persona. It was a good show, Akira admitted, but it became troublesome due to the fact there hadn’t been much room to move and suddenly there were 5 mummy-like shadows chasing after them.
Haru was almost just as bad as Makoto, only in her case she became more dangerous. Everyone in the group knew she had an odd fascination with wanting to see how high-pitched the shadow’s screams could reach, but she would be practically unstoppable. Her axe would suddenly look 10x sharper, her sweet smile would morph into a bloodthirsty grin, and her grenade launcher would obtain unlimited ammo. Luckily, she never seemed to aim at the group, but it was a bit much when they were trying to get past a room in Shido’s palace and she exclaimed ‘My, I wonder how fragile these walls are!’ before blasting the room to high heaven in quick succession. In that case, the only reason none of them got hurt was thanks to Futaba before Akira cast amrita drop.
Sumire was frisky when she was confused. Her shy demeanor would disappear mid-battle and before Akira could blink, he would have a ribbon wrapped around his wrists and dragged very close to his underclassman. The first time it happened, he had been knocked down on the floor, straddled, and would probably have lost his chastity if not for the fact Goro almost murdered the poor girl in his attempt to blast her off him.
The only person he’d never seen affected was Goro. He always somehow managed to dodge the incoming attack with the dangerous confusion possibility or the attempt at inflicting him with it would fail.
It made Akira curious, that was for sure, but it would be weird of him to hope his rival would get hit with it just for a short show that would probably end in him getting chewed out for not trying to cure him faster.
Because of those reasons Akira had given up on ever seeing Goro afflicted with it.
That is, until Goro leapt towards Akira to kick him out of the way before getting hit with a Mind Slice. He fell to his knees, gripping his head in agony as fingers flexed around his sword, teeth grinding as he tried to compose himself.
“Crow!” Akira hollered from his place on the floor, forcing himself back to his feet as Makoto blasted the enemy who initiated the attack into black sludge.
“Joker, wait!” Futaba called out, frantically moving the screens around her to focus on Goro's status. She sent a panicked look in everyone’s direction, gesturing for them to back away from their teammate.
“What’s going on?” Ann shuffled closer to Ryuji, the two of them following Futaba’s orders despite the question.
Akira chanced a look in Sumire’s direction, finding her staring at Goro with a curious tilt of her head. He had placed the two of them close together in the line-up due to their opposing elements, but with the current situation…
“Violet, stay back!”
Sumire yelped, barely able to leap out of reach from a powerful Eigaon before landing beside Akira.
“W-What the…?” She breathed out.
Goro rose steadily to his feet, his back bent and head facing towards the ground before righting himself slowly to level her with a fierce glare.
A fierce unstable glare.
“Wait…” Akira whispered to himself.
“You…” Goro growled, teeth bared like an animal as he rose his weapon towards Sumire, “You pathetic PIECE OF SHIT. WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!”
“I-What?” Sumire flinched, shivering in fear at the sudden harsh words. “W-What have I ever done?”
“HOW ARE YOU SO FUCKING PERFECT?” Goro continued, eyes flashing dangerously despite the obvious unsteadiness to his stance, “I DON’T FUCKING GET IT. YOU’RE AGILE, PRETTY, AND-”
“Crow’s confused!” Futaba announced rapidly, “Think before you act!”
“If this is how he is when he’s confused, then he’s confused a lot, huh?” Ryuji commented, grunting in pain as Ann smacked the back of his head, “What?!”
“Be nice.”
“What?! He’s the one that needs to be nice!”
“Actually, I think what he said was rather kind,” Haru argued.
“Now that you mention it,” Morgana pondered the statement, “He did just call Violet pretty, didn’t he?”
Akira pushed down the slight ache those words caused, deeming it unimportant to the situation at hand.
“You…” Sumire’s face pinkened, “You think I’m pretty, Crow-senpai?”
“EVERYONE DOES,” Goro groaned loudly, “IT’S A FACT, YOU IDIOT.” He snapped his head around to the sound of someone choking on a laugh, meeting Ann’s eyes instantly. “Takamaki.”
“Uh oh,” She paled, a nervous grin spreading on her face.
“YOU ARE SO GOD DAMNED FASHIONABLE,” Goro gripped at his helmet as if his head hurt, “THE COLOR OF YOUR OUTFIT BURNS MY EYES, BUT YOU ARE ABLE TO PULL IT OFF SO FUCKING WELL THAT IT’S IRRITATING.”
“Aw, thanks!”
“Panther, you’re okay with this?!” Morgana cried in disbelief.
“What? He’s being nice,” She giggled, “It’s kinda refreshing, you know?”
“He’s confused,” Akira reminded, burrowing his hands in his pockets as Goro’s attention shifted again.
“YUSUKE FUCKING KITAGAWA.”
“That is not my name-”
“HOW THE HELL ARE YOU SO TALENTED?!” Goro screamed out, sheathing his sword before withdrawing his gun, aiming at Yusuke with a murderous gaze.
Akira rose a hand as his teammates tried to shift into a battle position, noting that Goro, although had aimed it, didn’t have his finger on the trigger.
“YOU CAN DRAW AWE-INSPIRING WORKS OF ART, AND YET ALL I FUCKING KNOW HOW TO DRAW IS A STUPID ‘S’ I LEARNED IN GRADE SCHOOL!”
“Oh hey, I know what you’re talking about!” Futaba exclaimed excitedly before the gun swerved in her direction, “Oops-”
“HOW THE HELL DID YOU LEARN TO HACK?!” Goro’s other hand twitched at his side, as if restraining himself from reaching for another weapon.
Not that it would do anything. Akira knew he was ambidextrous, but it’d be a bit ridiculous to have both his sword and gun out.
“I’M 18 AND CAN HANDLE MOST PROGRAMS JUST FINE, YET YOU’RE TWELVE WITH THE SKILLS OF A PROFESSIONAL FUCKING HACKER”
“HEY, RUDE!” Futaba stomped her foot with a pout, “I’M FIFTEEN THANK YOU!”
“Shouldn’t we try to cure him by now?” Makoto sighed, shaking her head disappointedly, “This is getting-” She flinched as she was now faced with a deadly crimson glare.
“YOU’RE JUST LIKE YOUR SISTER.”
“I’m flattered,” She deadpanned, noticing how he changed his target immediately after, “Oh, that’s it?”
“Maybe he thinks of it as a compliment?” Haru suggested, watching as Goro seemed to just stare endlessly at Morgana.
“What?” He bristled, meeting the boy’s blank (and yet irritated) expression, “Got something to say, Crow?”
“CAT.”
“I AM NOT A-HEY!” Goro looked towards Haru. “THAT’S ALL I GOT?!”
“Maybe he thinks cats are cute,” Akira teased under his breath, his lips curving despite his initial reaction to Goro's compliment spree. This was fun to watch, and it seemed (mostly) everyone shared his opinion, what with how none of them were making an attempt to cure the poor guy. They’d let him ride it out for now and once he got through everyone, then they’d deal with it.
“HOW ARE YOU CUTE AND YET SO DANGEROUS ALL AT ONCE,” Goro shook his head, grinding his teeth together more before continuing, “YOU’RE LIKE A PASTEL FLUFFY ASS CLOUD WITH SPIKES HIDDEN UNDERNEATH. YOU PLANT FLOWERS AND SLICE SHADOWS USING THE SAME TWO HANDS. YOU’RE A LIVING FUCKING CONTRADICTION TO YOURSELF IN BOTH THE WORST AND BEST WAY POSSIBLE.”
“You are no better,” Haru huffed, crossing her arms, “But thank you for the compliment.”
Goro ignored her, preferring to level his gun at Ryuji’s chest before his shoulders began to shake with restrained laughter at simply looking at him.
“Is…Is he laughing at me?” Ryuji said, narrowing his eyes as Goro’s body kept shaking. A few moments passed, a few snickers escaping from the once-assassin before Ryuji threw his hands up in the air. “GET ON WITH IT, MAN.”
“YOUR EXISTANCE MAKES ME LAUGH.”
“HEY!”
“YOU ARE STUPIDLY ENTERTAINING AND JUST LOOKING AT YOU MAKES PEOPLE WANT TO FUCKING SMILE,” Goro cackled, almost falling over in his laughter, “IT’S NO WONDER WHY AKIRA IS YOUR BEST FRIEND. HE WANTS SOMEONE TO DO JUST THAT. TO MAKE HIM LAUGH, TO MAKE HIM HAPPY.”
Akira’s eyes widened, blinking at the words exclaimed in an almost rage-like admiration.
“Wait, huh?” Ryuji turned to Ann, “Is that true?”
“I think he’s giving you a little too much credit,” Ann responded, crossing her arms, “But hey isn’t what he said just now a little-”
The group didn’t have enough time to react as Goro lunged forward at them, his gun thrown to the side to reach out towards his target.
Akira gasped out as his jacket’s collar was grabbed, throwing him against the nearest wall to the point it cracked the white behind him. He latched onto the arms shoving him further up, his eyes having slid shut due to the impact.
“Joker!” His friends called out worriedly, no doubt readying their weapons to save him.
“Akira,” A voice purred deeply, the sound sending a shiver down Akira’s spine.
Akira’s eyes snapped open immediately, flinching as he found himself mere inches away from Goro’s face. He jerked his head backwards, accidentally bumping it against the wall at his attempted retreat. He moved his hands away from Goro’s arms, no longer believing the other boy would hurt him to splay them across the wall behind him to use as leverage in an attempt to put more distance between them.
The hands gripping his jacket tightened, a leg sliding forward to pry his own two apart to ensure his capture. Akira’s lips thinned, his hands growing sweaty underneath his gloves as he tried to shift away from the knee getting dangerously close to his crotch.
“You have everything,” Goro whispered, the words triggering a memory Akira was still haunted by despite the person breathing in front of him, “You are so god damned mesmerizing that it fucking hurts to look at you. Do you know how often you’ve infiltrated my thoughts?”
“I-” Akira’s throat dried, words unwilling to come out as Goro somehow pressed closer.
“Your damned face haunts me. So undeniably attractive and…” Goro groaned lowly, causing Akira to whimper as his hands finally moved away from his jacket, trailing downwards to grip his hips, “Seductive. That smirk of yours is a sin all on its own.”
“Wait,” Akira gasped as Goro’s knee met its target, grinding upwards slowly. His hands grasped onto Goro’s shoulders in a panic, his face burning in embarrassment and heated arousal, “Akechi, you need to-!”
“This body of yours taunts me,” Goro continued, claw-like fingers digging into Akira’s hips, the tips of his gauntlets teasing underneath his vest, “The way you bend yourself in combat. How you effortlessly slaughter without batting an eye. You are an image to behold, Akira.”
One of his hands left his hips, reaching up to rip his helmet off to stare into Akira’s eyes without filter. His gaze a molten crimson that dared to pull Akira under, tempting him to fall deeper into a realm he wouldn’t be able to flee from.
Goro leaned closer, his smirk teasing across Akira’s lips with the slightest touch, “I want to monopolize your existence and mold you to my touch,” Akira couldn’t withhold the moan falling from his lips, tilting his head to the side in an effort to control himself. This was wrong. Goro clearly wasn’t in his right mind-
“Give yourself to me,” Goro demanded breathlessly, “Akira...”
Akira gasped out as a hot mouth touched just below his ear, pressing wet kisses and sucks downwards, attempting to mark him with his tongue alone regardless of the fabric that tried to cover his neck. It was a dangerous, delicious game he was being led into. He felt his body melt underneath Goro’s lips, moaning at a sharp nip to his skin. He needed to break away before this went any further. He needed to-
“Enough!” “Crow-senpai, stop!”
Whack!
Akira felt cold in the very next second, his eyes blown open as he witnessed Goro falling to the floor unconscious. He flickered between Haru and Sumire who stood before him, both holding a large white fan they kept in case of certain scenarios.
He breathed heavily, his chest rising and falling rapidly. He licked his lips, trying to will some moisture back into his throat before taking note of his fallen teammate.
He looked across everyone, noting how their expressions ranged from flustered amusement to horrified confusion. He tried not to notice how Yusuke was putting the final touches on a sketch of the event that just happened.
Akira pushed himself off the wall, readjusting his jacket and trying (failing) to ignore the phantom touches that remained on his body.
“Did…” He swallowed dryly, clearing his throat while attempting to calm his rapidly beating heart, before gesturing to Goro’s body, “Did you really have to hit him that hard?”