Archive of Our Own

"Okay, so I think we basically have it," says Yoongi. "Listen to this."

Namjoon presses his earbuds in, blocking out any residual noise. His new roommate must have gotten home earlier than expected based on the banging sounds in the kitchen, but he can still hear the song coming through the speaker. It's not crisp, too muffled to pick out the details of the mix, but Yoongi never has trouble with those types of flourishes. He'd called for a vibe check, mostly, and it had only taken a few tweaks to the transitions to get him satisfied again.

"Yep, that's great," says Namjoon, nodding even though Yoongi can't see him. The rise and fall is much better, the exact kind of emotional journey that the drama producers are always looking for, and that means Yoongi might finally go to sleep. In a few hours. Maybe. "I can already hear the grand confession. The audience will be weeping on their couches."

"Good," says Yoongi. "They'd better cry after the hell I went through. Why is everything always a rush with these guys?"

Namjoon laughs. "Like you wouldn't just give yourself an unreasonable deadline if they didn't. Face it, hyung, you're a workaholic."

"I'm making sensible economic decisions. And I don't work all the time."

The sounds of mouse clicks are unmistakable over the connection, and Namjoon rolls his eyes. "Your last three boyfriends broke up with you because you slept in the studio more often than with them. If you want someone to stick around, you'll either have to work less or find someone who works just as much as you. You were so busy you barely noticed when they were gone."

"Sure I did, they brought me food and now I go hungry," says Yoongi, but he's obviously grinning. "Don't worry about my love life, Namjoon-ah, hyung always manages to find his way back. I'd worry more about the fact that you just spent an hour of your life fixing this song for free. Not a sensible economic decision at all."

"It is if you drive me to the strawberry farm on Saturday," says Namjoon hopefully. "It's the first day they're open for picking and I've been looking forward to trying my hand at it. Living off the land."

Yoongi chuckles, a soft, intimate sound in Namjoon's ear. "That sounds like the kind of favor you should have negotiated first. You really are terrible at this."

"Please, hyung," says Namjoon, drawing it out in his best Taehyung impression, and Yoongi groans. "If you don't I'll have to take the driving test and go myself, and you know how dangerous that is."

It's an empty threat, because Namjoon would no more try to drive a car than fly, but they're not really bartering. Yoongi would have taken him even if Namjoon hadn't helped him out, but this song and dance are part of the package when Min Yoongi is your best friend.

"Fine," says Yoongi, sighing hugely. "But only for those poor innocents at risk on the street. They don't deserve you behind the wheel."

"Thanks!" says Namjoon. He carefully puts Strawberries with Yoongi in his calendar for Saturday morning, then looks at the time. "Ah, I'd better get going. I still have to get another five hundred words in tonight."

"No problem," says Yoongi. "Thanks for your help. I'll see you this weekend, if not sooner. Taehyung's been threatening a dinner party."

"He always is," says Namjoon, chuckling. "Have a good night, hyung. I love you."

Namjoon hangs up, still smiling, and pulls his earbuds out to set them on his desk. One falls off with a clatter, and he groans as it disappears under the entertainment center. If he loses one more half-set of these things he'll never hear the end of it from any of his friends.

"Aw, cute," says Hoseok from the door, and Namjoon startles. "Sorry to scare you. And to bother you while you were on the phone, I didn't realize until I was out of the kitchen."

"No worries," says Namjoon.

He heaves himself onto the floor and scrabbles around on the hardwood. It's a tough fit for his arm, and he wonders if he can ask Hoseok to do it for him. He's only known Hoseok for a couple of weeks, since the dancer took over Jungkook's room as a sublet, and while he's a friendly roommate it might be a bridge too far to ask him to stick his hand into the darkness. Namjoon's already liberated a couple of spiders that Hoseok absolutely refused to look at.

"Was that your older brother?" says Hoseok. "I didn't know you had one."

"I don't," says Namjoon, distracted. The TV wobbles dangerously as he thrusts his arm in deeper, but it's worth it because his finger brushes plastic. "Hell yeah, found you."

"Oh," says Hoseok. "But I thought you were single. Painfully single, you said."

"I am."

The earbud finally gives in to his questing fingers, and Namjoon grunts in celebration. He pulls his hand out triumphantly, wielding his prize aloft, and he's looking right at Hoseok's confused face when he says, "Then why did you end the call with 'I love you'?"

Namjoon drops the earbud again.

"You're going where?" says Hoseok.

He's a bit hard to hear because Namjoon's deep inside his closet, but he extracts himself to answer. "To the mountains."

"Yeah that's what I thought," says Hoseok, almost to himself. "Look, Namjoon, I -"

"I've always wanted to be a woodsman," says Namjoon. "It seems like an easier way to live, you know? Just the peace of nature, the songs of the birds, fresh air in your lungs… I think it's an ideal state."

"It could be, it could be," says Hoseok.

Namjoon finally locates the hiking backpack he'd gotten when he was younger and more ambitious, used a handful of times before life made bicycle rides in the park more feasible. It's bigger than he remembers, which is good, because his quick internet search had informed him that living in the woods requires a lot of supplies.

He slings the bag on the bed and pulls out some layering clothes, stuffing them in as best he can. "Do you mind if I take the ramyeon in the cabinet? I'll leave you money for more."

"You're going to cook ramyeon in the woods?" asks Hoseok, and his tone penetrates Namjoon's focus.

"You don't think I should?"

"Well, you'd have to boil the water, and you probably shouldn't start fires in the mountains."

"Oh," says Namjoon. "I thought I'd use an electric kettle."

He pauses, and Hoseok gives him a complicated look that says a lot about power outlets, and Namjoon sits heavily on his bed. "I can't go into the woods."

"Maybe not tonight," says Hoseok. "But someday!"

"It can't be someday," says Namjoon, dropping his head into his hands. "It has to be tonight."

He feels Hoseok settle next to him, patting his shoulder gently. "I'm sure your hyung didn't even notice."

"He notices everything," says Namjoon. "He's very smart."

"Of course, of course. I’m sure he is. But hey, he’s your best friend, right? Best friends say they love each other, and it’s super normal. I tell my best bro, Jimin, that I love him all the time, and he knows it’s not romantic!”

Namjoon sighs. “But it is.”

“With Jimin? Nah, he’s just my dance -“

“For me,” says Namjoon. “For me with Yoongi hyung. It is.”

“Ah,” says Hoseok. “Well. That’s unfortunate.”

They sit in silence for awhile, Namjoon still holding the straps of his hiking backpack. He’s thinking, but he’s also lost a lot of his brainpower in the last fifteen minutes and it's not doing much. But he tries hard to coalesce into something that’s not just panic over the image of Yoongi sitting in his studio, shocked, embarrassed, horrified, scornful…

“Maybe a hot shower and some sleep would -“ Hoseok begins.

“I have an idea,” says Namjoon, "of how I can be in the woods without the woods.”

“That sounds like a great thing to flesh out in the morning,” says Hoseok soothingly, then yelps when Namjoon stands and starts shoving more things into his bag.

“Don’t worry,” says Namjoon. “It’s very safe.”

“You want to stay where?” says Seokjin.

He’d opened the door against his will, as he’d told Namjoon several times through the face cam. It’s his relaxation night, he’d said, and from what Namjoon can tell he wasn’t lying. He’s wearing a lavender tracksuit with a bedazzled headband and he unfairly looks like the hottest person in the world.

But Namjoon had worn him down with begging, and now Seokjin is solid and there, and Namjoon can move forward into his next Woodsman Phase.

“In your yard,” says Namjoon. “Back in the back where you have that little pond? With the trees and the bushes?”

Seokjin stares at him, unimpressed, and Namjoon holds up the bag he’s carrying. “I brought my own tent.”

“You brought -“ says Seokjin, then stops. “Would you like to tell me what’s actually going on?”

“I’ve decided to become one with nature,” says Namjoon.

“Of course. Foolish of me to ask,” says Seokjin. “Go around back I guess. You know it’s meant to rain tonight?”

“I have a poncho,” says Namjoon, and Seokjin puts a hand to his temple.

“Hi hyung!” says a voice, and Jungkook rises over Seokjin’s broad shoulder like a grinning planet. “Did we know you were coming?”

“No, sorry I didn’t call,” says Namjoon. “It was kind of spur of the moment.”

“That’s fun!” says Jungkook.

He steps out from behind Seokjin, and that's more complicated than it should be. For one thing Jungkook is wearing zero shirt, though he is wearing an excess of harness, and Namjoon’s eyes widen. Jungkook's also gotten a couple of piercings since he moved out, it seems, only visible because of the lack of shirt, and Namjoon suddenly remembers why they've all tactfully avoided the place since the moving-in party.

He glances at to Seokjin, who’s gone wooden, though his ears are red. He doesn’t blink as Namjoon tries to think of what to say and eventually comes up with, “Relaxation night?”

“I was getting there,” says Seokjin. “Go set up your tent, tree boy.”

“You’re sleeping in the yard?” says Jungkook, astonished. “Did something happen with Hoseok? Jimin hyung said he was super cool!”

Namjoon hastens to assure him that Hoseok is very cool, and that he’s just trying to get closer to nature. “And you guys are the only ones I know with a yard so…”

“Nice,” says Jungkook, no longer interested. “Anyway I’ll be in the room planking when you’re ready, hyung. See ya.”

He wanders back up the stairs and Seokjin cocks an eyebrow. “Well? Anything else?”

Namjoon pauses, then says quickly, “Do you have an extension cord? And an exterior outlet near the pond? I still have to finish my article for tomorrow and my laptop is almost out of battery.”

“Oh my god,” says Seokjin.

It rains, and Namjoon’s tent has a couple of holes in it that he wasn’t aware of. But Jungkook brings out duct tape and helps him fix it up, and after that the pattering on top is kind of nice. Woods-y. Natural. That feels like peace.

He finishes off his article, only slightly worried about getting electrocuted, then lays down to consider the rain. It comes and goes, he thinks, washing things clean. Wiping the world clean of its past, and obscuring its future, and being just where it is for as long as it is. That feels like aspiration.

His stomach rumbles, and he pulls out the dry ramyeon and stares at it. Going out into the rain to plug in the electric kettle seems dicey, but maybe ramyeon is good dry. Or maybe the rainwater would be enough to sort of soup-ify it? The flavor packet is the delicious part anyway, and surviving in nature requires some lateral thinking. That feels like growth.

He’s just about to tear in to the wrapping when someone says “Knock knock” and opens his tent flap.

Jungkook ducks in, now fully clothed in a rainproof jacket, and looks around the space. “Nice,” he says, dropping down cross-legged. He holds out a container which Namjoon just realized he’s carrying. “I made you soup.”

“Wow,” says Namjoon. “You make soup?”

“Not until tonight,” says Jungkook, adding a spoon to the offering, “but it turns out I’m great at it.”

Namjoon believes him, holding out his hands gratefully. The container is warm and friendly, and he balances it carefully on his knee as he opens it up. The steam hits his face like a mini-sauna. It smells absolutely delicious.

He eats in silence for awhile, Jungkook watching him companionably. It’s like a memory of the past, when Jungkook had been his roommate existing in the same space like a gentle ghost, both of them puttering around in near silence. But it was harmonious just like this, though they’d sat on furniture instead of on a tarp beneath a tent.

“So, nature,” says Jungkook eventually. "That's fun?"

Namjoon nods, feeling a little helpless.

"Sorry about earlier, at the door," Jungkook adds . "My hoodies are all in the laundry."

“I told Yoongi hyung that I love him,” says Namjoon, the words pouring out of him without his permission.

“That's awesome!” says Jungkook. “Great work, hyung!”

“On accident,” says Namjoon.

Jungkook takes the mostly-empty soup container from Namjoon’s unresisting hands. “There are no accidents,” he says firmly. “Just destiny.”

Namjoon considers that. “I think the woods are my destiny.”

“That's possible,” Jungkook says, shrugging. “Well, I have more duct tape if you need it. And soup.”

“Thanks, JK,” says Namjoon, and Jungkook grins. 

It’s a grin that means nothing and everything all at once, and Namjoon feels a few tears gathering in the corners of his eyes. He admires that about Jungkook, how he finds happiness within himself instead of looking outward. Situations roll off of him like water from a tent, and he stays steady and safe inside.

“Don’t you have work in the morning?” says Namjoon after a few minutes.

Jungkook frowns. “Oh. Yeah. I have to clean up the soup stuff, too. Hyung hates to do dishes.”

Namjoon would bet Seokjin's already done them anyway, because he remembers the night before Seokjin asked Jungkook to move in with him permanently, and how drunk Seokjin was at the bar he’d chosen for Namjoon to buy him the fortification drinks. The drinks weren't courage for action but permission for feeling, and each subsequent shot had made him louder then quieter about his heart.

Seokjin is a steady and caring hyung, but he’s steadier for none more than Jeon Jungkook.

But Namjoon doesn’t say any of that, because that’s a little too close to thinking about Yoongi, so instead he says goodnight. He thanks Jungkook again for his dinner and watches through the flap as the younger pads his way back to the house. He's both very big and very small, and when Namjoon lays down to try to sleep he’s not surprised to get a text.

There can be more than one destiny, hyung, says Jungkook.

That's nice to think, says Namjoon. Thanks.

But there can’t be more soup, says Jungkook. Hyung ate it all.

The next day the rain is gone, and Namjoon revels in the dry. His editor lets him take an inspiration break since he has a few stories saved up, so Namjoon takes his notebook and sits under Seokjin’s tree to create his life’s work. He’s been navigating a collection of poetry slowly, trying to piece together scraps of meaning, and under a tree is the perfect place to have meaning.

The trunk isn’t really wide enough to lean against - it’s more sapling than anything - but it emits gravitas nevertheless.

Seokjin checks in on him before he leaves for the day, saying he left the back door unlocked for civilized uses. Namjoon went in to use the guest bathroom when he woke up, but Seokjin also left supplies for a shower that Namjoon wasn’t sure he should use. Toilets are one thing, even for a Woodsman, but waterfall showerheads and full-body nozzles are quite another.

But Seokjin sniffs him and declares him unfit for his purchased land, so Namjoon ducks in for a shower and emerges guiltily refreshed.

When he goes back outside, there’s someone peering into his tent. Jin's property is gated, a security precaution mandated by his management, and the person is wearing a suit so Namjoon is only moderately alarmed as he approaches his practice home. His slides scrape along the gravel path, loud enough that the person turns around and makes Namjoon's alarm much more acute.

"Hi hyung," says Taehyung cheerfully. "How are you?"

"Who told you I was here?" asks Namjoon.

"I did!" says Taehyung. "Because I turned around, and you were here, and I said, 'yep, that's Namjoon.'"

His face is open and guileless, and that's utterly meaningless because Taehyung's relationship with honesty is informal at best and mischievous at worst. Normally Namjoon enjoys it, because Taehyung isn't scared of anything or anyone and lives a life that inspires a lot of poems. It's also a constant challenge to keep up with him, and that's the sort of challenge Namjoon likes.

But not today. Because all of those things are important but not as important as the fact that Taehyung is Yoongi's assistant, and may be spying for him at this exact moment.

"Are you sleeping in this tent?" asks Taehyung.

"No," says Namjoon quickly.

Taehyung looks back inside. "Your sleep shorts are in there."

"Oh," says Namjoon.

"I know because they're very short," Taehyung adds helpfully. "It's appreciated!"

"You're welcome?"

"Not by me," says Taehyung, then pauses. "Well, not just by me. How's the tent?"

Namjoon looks at it. "Functional. At least after Jungkook brought the duct tape."

"Is it haunted?" asks Taehyung.

"The duct tape? Or the tent?"

Taehyung's eyes widen in sudden delight. "Either!"

"I don't think so," says Namjoon, and Taehyung dims. "Who would haunt duct tape anyway?"

"Everyone has unfinished business," Taehyung says. "Speaking of which, is Jungkook here?"

Namjoon looks around, then says, "No. He went to work."

"Ah that's right," says Taehyung. "Damn."

He seems put out, which relaxes Namjoon. If Taehyung is here for Jungkook, he's not here because of Yoongi, and that means he's not being spied on by a distressed hyung.

Which doesn't mean Taehyung won't tell Yoongi everything, Namjoon realizes in the next breath. In fact, it's very likely, especially if Namjoon calls attention to the fact that he really doesn't want Yoongi to know where he is. He hasn't heard from him yet today, which would be very normal except for that nothing about their current situation is normal in the least.

Yoongi knows Namjoon loves him, and that makes everything very abnormal.

"He'll be home around four," says Namjoon quickly. "Can I give him a message?"

"Yes," says Taehyung. "Write this down. Hi Jungkook. I loaned you my secret sex chest under the condition you introduce me to your hot friend within two weeks. It's been ten days and I'm not currently interacting with said hot friend in any sense. Please respond posthaste to arrange final payment through official channels, sincerely Kim Taehyung Esq. You're not writing."

Namjoon, who hadn't even had a chance to grab his notebook, blinks across the yard. "I think I can remember it."

"Okay," says Taehyung affably. "I'd better get back to the studio. It's a busy day."

"Is it?" says Namjoon. "How's… uh, how's everyone?"

"Yoongi's doing extremely Yoongily," says Taehyung. "Working three jobs at once. Texting. Ordering new equipment. He stopped drinking coffee."

Namjoon frowns. "Really?"

"Yep," says Taehyung.

"Since when?"

"Since this morning," says Taehyung to Namjoon's horror. "I brought him his coffee and he said, 'I don't drink that anymore, Taehyung-ah', and I said, 'But I brought it for you', and he said, 'You can drink it", and I  said, "But I don't like coffee?' and he said, 'I can't hear the track when you're talking, go away', and I said, 'That's mean, hyung, I'm very likable,' and he said, 'Argh', and I said, 'I'm not leaving until you tell me I'm likable and also take this coffee, it smells so gross,' and -"

"I think I get it," Namjoon says, and Taehyung subsides. "Did he say why he stopped drinking coffee all of a sudden?"

"Nope!" says Taehyung. He takes a watch out of his vest pocket and sculpts a surprised face. "Shit Yoongi needs his lunch. Without the coffee he's gonna be extra grumpy. Gotta go, hyung. Have fun in the tent!"

"I will," says Namjoon, trying to hide his desperation to know exactly why Yoongi has suddenly changed a very ingrained habit on this morning of all mornings, and if he'd sent Taehyung here to tell Namjoon that as some kind of message, and if Taehyung could maybe give him more pieces of Yoongi’s secret message alongside his terrifying note to Jungkook. "Thanks for coming by."

Taehyung walks past Namjoon towards the gate with a swinging, expansive step. "I'll tell Yoongi you say hi," he says as he does, and Namjoon's stomach drops to his shoes.

"Don't," says Namjoon before he can stop himself.

Taehyung halts in his tracks and turns around. "Oh? Why not?"

Namjoon thinks quickly, feeling like a rabbit beneath the stare of a hungry hawk. "I don't like to say hi to people unless I'm saying it to their face," he says. "It's impersonal."

"That's a cool idea!" says Taehyung. "Emotionally resonant. I'm going to do it, too. Take the 'Hi Jungkook' out of my message please."

"You got it," says Namjoon. "Later."

"Later! I hope you're haunted soon!"

Namjoon thinks about Yoongi's coffee ban exclusively for the next three days.

Well, not exclusively. He does sometimes write poems, or talk to Seokjin and Jungkook, or sleep. Hoseok also texts him a few times for a wellness check and to update him on the state of his plants - Hoseok is watering them diligently, to Namjoon's relief - and his editor reaches out about his last piece which takes some focus.

He also refuses to think about Yoongi during the showers Seokjin forces him to take, in deference to universal ethics and morals, so he muses on philosophical concepts determinedly until he's fully scrubbed.

But inevitably his thoughts drift back to Yoongi, and if he's tired, or exactly how tired he is, and if the coffee ban is because he's sleeping better or worse since Namjoon's unintentional confession. Worse, is what Namjoon would think, except then wouldn't Yoongi need coffee more? People usually do, as far as he's observed.

So he must be sleeping better, and that's a whole other series of worries, because that means that Yoongi has somehow been released of a burden by Namjoon's indiscretion. And if the only burden in existence was the secret between them, that means Yoongi knew about the secret the whole time and had worked very hard to keep it from affecting their friendship.

That's really the only thing it can be, he concludes, that Yoongi is finally free of the burden of managing Namjoon's issues. Years of repressive struggle, trying to keep a stupid crush away from their idyllic state, like a dam working mightily against the course of a river, and then Namjoon came through like a flash flood and drowned them in truth with a single goodbye.

But it's not just that the effort of keeping that secret had made it hard for Yoongi to sleep, he thinks while he's watching Yoongi's latest drama episode with Seokjin and Jungkook. It also meant that their entire friendship was tainted with the stains of Namjoon's weak character, spattered across the pages of their history like a fumbled bottle of ink.

Yoongi's understated-yet-beautiful music ferries the romantic leads into a near-romantic counter without stuttering as Namjoon sinks deeper into despair. The time that Yoongi had come over and put together all of that furniture with Jungkook, he'd known Namjoon's shame. And when Yoongi led him out of the bar during their flusher nights, his hand steering Namjoon to the bus with gentle care, he'd been carefully calibrating the pressure to keep any feelings from escaping Namjoon’s drunken lips. The late night talks, the weekend trips, the thousands of quiet barbecue meals…

Every time Namjoon looked at Yoongi helplessly, unsure how he was meant to contend with the vital existence of him, the simple gravity of a hyung who resonated inside of the universal thrum without any dissonance… every time Namjoon heard Yoongi speak and thought truth was shamed by his power… every time Namjoon touched him with reverent fingers, a giant handling porcelain…

Yoongi knew. Each time he knew, and said nothing, and Namjoon had been perfectly happy living in ignorance until now.

But the woods, he thinks as he trudges back to his tent with strings in the background of his mind. The woods will bring ignorance back, and he's getting better and better at them every day.

"I've heard so much about you," says a voice, and Namjoon's eyes bolt open. There's a small, cherubic face leaning over him, its smile charming even upside down. "Kim Namjoon-ssi, right?"

"Yes?" says Namjoon.

He struggles up from his place in the grass, nearly unbalancing into the pond until the stranger steadies him. He's very strong, and even more angelic the right way around. He's also looking at Namjoon with some amusement, his hair a honeyed blond, and Namjoon's not exactly sure what to say.

"You're going to get eaten by something if you fall asleep like that in the actual woods," says the man. "Situational awareness is pretty important, I've heard."

"Thank you," says Namjoon. "Who are you?"

"Oh," says the man, his eyes turning to crescents. "I'm Park Jimin."

"Ah!" says Namjoon. "Jimin-ssi. You're friends with Hoseok."

"And Jungkook," says Jimin. He looks around. "Is he here?"

Namjoon wishes he could say that he knows one way or the other, but he really doesn't. He'd been looking at the sky for some time, considering coffee choices and their deeper implications, and he'd almost certainly fallen asleep. Lots of things can happen when a man is asleep.

Jimin seems to sense his uselessness and turns around to yell, "Jungkook-ah!"

"Jimin-ssiiiiiiii," says a distant voice from inside the house, and a few seconds later a figure bursts out of the back door. Jungkook skids to a stop in front of them, then frowns. "You didn't come to the door."

"I wanted to see the mountain man," says Jimin, gesturing behind him. "Hoseokie hyung told me so much about him."

"I'm not a mountain man yet," says Namjoon. "Though I am trying."

"You're the size of one," says Jimin appreciatively. "I have to admit, you're not who I pictured when Jungkook said he was setting me up, but I'm open to it."

"No!" says Jungkook quickly. He jumps in front of Namjoon like there's a speeding bullet heading towards him, which Jimin's inviting smile feels a lot like, and waves his arms up and down. "No it's not him!"

"Could it be?" says Jimin.

Jungkook looks back at Namjoon, his youthful brow furrowed. "He has a lot happening right now. Life-changes-wise."

"Right," says Namjoon. "I'm moving to the wilderness."

"But!" continues Jungkook. "I promise you're going to like the set-up guy. You'll really like him. He's vibing, you know?"

Jimin squints. "Vibing how?"

"All over," says Jungkook. "Trust me. But you have to come tomorrow. I told you to come tomorrow."

"You said Friday," says Jimin. "Today is Friday."

"I said the 18th," says Jungkook.

"That's today," says Namjoon, and they both look at him again. "The 18th."

Jimin folds his arms smugly, and Jungkook frowns. "Well he should have known it was tomorrow. Who meets up for a blind date at ten in the morning on a Friday?"

"Someone who's starting the weekend off right," says Jimin. "I put a lot of prep work into this little adventure."

Jungkook blanches, but Jimin looks up at Namjoon again, and the crescent eyes are back in place. "You sure you're not up for one more brush with civilization? I'd hate for all of my hard work to go to waste."

Namjoon takes a small step back, because Jimin is very hot and Namjoon isn't always good with very hot people. "I don't think that's within the spirit of the woods."

Jimin cocks his head to the side.

"Plus you kind of scare me," says Namjoon. "I'd disappoint you."

That takes the burgeoning grin on Jimin's face and erases it completely. "That's bullshit."

"Excuse me?"

Jimin marches forward and pokes him in the sternum. "You are a wonderful person and could never disappoint anyone."

"You just met me ten minutes ago," says Namjoon, bewildered.

"My Hoseokie hyung thinks you're great," says Jimin.

"So do I," says Jungkook loyally.

Jimin waves his hand in the air dismissively. "Jungkook is easily impressed," he says, and Jungkook shoves him in protest. "But hyung isn't! Hyung has very high standards for humanity and especially for roommates, and he said even though you have to use plastic mugs for safety reasons you're an astonishing person of rare power who he admires very much."

"Oh," says Namjoon. "Wow. That's really nice of him."

"He also said you'll die in the mountains within three days and we have to stop you," adds Jimin. "He's probably right, but I don't need a man to thrive in the outdoors to thrive in my company. Now, if you don't want to go out with me that's fine, but I won't let it be because you think you're not good enough. You are good enough, Namjoon-ssi!"

"Call me hyung," says Namjoon, and Jimin brightens. "And I appreciate the offer. But I'm kind of in love with someone."

"Fair enough," says Jimin, shrugging. "I hope he's worth it. Jungkook, I'll be back tomorrow and this Vibe Guy had better be worth it, too. I'm not made of time!"

Jungkook sticks his tongue out. "You are literally taking vacation time this week."

"Exactly! Time that's for me! Don't waste it," says Jimin. "Lovely to meet you, Namjoon hyung. I hope you have a wonderful day."

"Thank you," says Namjoon. "You too."

"And I'm sure everything with your Yoongi will turn out just fine!" says Jimin as he heads out the gate, vanishing before Namjoon can process that he’d never actually said Yoongi’s name.

Saturday dawns beautifully, crisp and perfect as spring days can sometimes be. Namjoon stares up at the tent canvas over him and realizes Jimin was right. Well, Hoseok was right, according to Jimin. He's no closer to being able to survive alone in the wilderness than he was when he came here, despite all of his best efforts.

That's disheartening, even more so because his hair smells like eucalyptus and aloe vera and he likes it. Jungkook says it's the best brand on the market, and he's right too. It is the best, and Namjoon is a hopelessly weak creature who now needs it in his life. He simply cannot go into the woods where there aren't markets with the best brands, especially because Jungkook was surprisingly firm in his denial when Namjoon asked if he could take it with him.

So the woods can't happen. He's failed at his mission completely, felled by capitalism and the scent of luxury like so many men before him, and he has no idea what he's going to do because he's also still very much in love with Yoongi. That deadly explosion has been in stasis for the last few days, contained inside of the Woods Experiment, but as soon as he steps back into his normal life the shrapnel will fly free once more.

Yoongi will look at him with pity, coffee-less and free, and Namjoon might very well cry.

He's not sure what time it is - his phone died last night before bed, and he was too ashamed to creep up to the house and charge it after Seokjin heckled him from the balcony last time - but he doesn't feel like getting up so he drifts in his own stasis for a long time. It's a beautiful day, and he's still in nature, and the explosion is a long way off.

"Namjoon-ah!" he hears, and he sits up in horror. That sounds like - "Namjoon-ah! Get out here!"

Yoongi's voice carries surprisingly well, bass and resonant across the lawn, and Namjoon shoves a tank top over his head and pushes out the tent flap clumsily. He tumbles slightly onto his knees, then scrambles up and faces his worst nightmare.

"Hi hyung," he says. "How are you?"

Yoongi stands a few feet away, pale and shining like a morning moon. He's wearing all-black, a print t-shirt exposing his pink-ish elbows and a pair of skinny jeans covering most everything else. The t-shirt has a bit of a scoop, letting Namjoon sneak a peek of delicious collarbone before he feels like a monster for even entertaining the idea.

This is his judgment day, the moment of reckoning for all of his sins, and he can't be horny.

But the long separation means Yoongi really does look more beautiful than usual. He's got his silver earrings in, matching the delicate chains around his wrists, and his hair is glossy and neat like a cap. Maybe he'd gotten it cut, Namjoon wonders somewhat nonsensically, trying desperately to stave off the end. Because the only non-beautiful thing about Yoongi is the disappointed frown that's pouting his lips.

"Well, Namjoon-ah," says Yoongi, "I drove all the way to your place and you weren't there, and then I drove all the way here, so right now I'm calculating how much gas money you owe me."

"Oh," says Namjoon. "Okay. Just let me know."

Yoongi nods, then cocks an eyebrow and gestures behind him. "So? Are you coming?"

"Yes," says Namjoon automatically, then stops. "Coming where?"

"Strawberries," says Yoongi. "You wanted to pick them today."

Namjoon's mouth drops open.

"It's Saturday," Yoongi adds. "Put on an actual shirt and let's go."

"Wait," says Namjoon. "Just wait. I can't - strawberries weren't -"

He takes a deep breath and tries to force his brain into gear again. "How did you even know I was here?"

"Hyung!" calls a voice from the door. "Hi! Do you want breakfast, too?"

Jungkook jumps down the steps into the lawn, sprinting over to hang across Yoongi's shoulders. "Hyung and I are making egg toast, but I bet he'll make noodles for you too. And we have a whole pot of coffee going."

"Hyung doesn't drink coffee anymore," says Namjoon, and both Yoongi and Jungkook look at him in surprise. "Um. I think."

Yoongi squints at him suspiciously but says, "He's right. And we can't do breakfast, we have a bit of a drive. Next time, okay?"

"Okay," says Jungkook. "Hyung! He said no!"

Seokjin appears at the door, a deeply purple apron covering him, and Hoseok peers over his shoulder. "Incredible rudeness. See if I ever offer you my delicious labors again. Fortunately Hoseok here is more delightful than both of you put together."

"I don't want to impose," says Hoseok, then waves at Namjoon. "Hi! I'm glad to see you're still alive."

"I am," says Namjoon. "What are you doing here?"

"He's the one who told me where you were," says Yoongi, and Hoseok's friendly grin turns guilty. "Woodsman training? Really?"

Hoseok waggles his head in a silent message that Namjoon can't parse, but he hopes it means Hoseok only told Yoongi part of the story. He probably did. The whole story would mean Yoongi wouldn't be here at all.

"It was just an idea," says Namjoon somewhat lamely. "I haven't been hiking in awhile and I thought it would be nice to stay out for a long time."

"Absolutely not. Hyung will take you camping soon," says Yoongi. "With all of the relevant safety gear."

He pauses and leans over to look behind Namjoon. "And we'll use my tent. Is that duct tape?"

"I did that!" says Jungkook. "Hey, will you bring me some strawberries?"

"Me too!" says a voice, and they all turn to see Taehyung striding across the lawn. His clothes are loose and billow-y, whipping around him in a non-existent wind. "I could really use a strawberry or two. Jungkook, I'm here to collect."

"Hi hyung!" says Jungkook. "He's -"

Taehyung walks right past him and up the steps, shoving a yelping Seokjin aside, and leans a hand against the door frame. His voice lowers into the depths of the earth as he blinks at Hoseok. "Hello. I'm Kim Taehyung, and you are gorgeous."

Hoseok chokes.

"I'm sorry if that was forward. I'm actually not sorry, but that's the sort of thing you say, right?" says Taehyung. "So, I was thinking we'd start with delivery by the river, then an outdoor concert nearby, then grabbing dinner before checking the chemistry status. My place is empty tonight if it's good. Or we could go right now, I have a lot of jazz CDs. You in?"

"Um," says Hoseok, blinking. He tries to take a step back, but the coat rack behind him blocks the way. "Hi? I'm Jung Hoseok, '94 line. Nice to meet you?"

Taehyung frowns and spins around, seemingly unsurprised to see Jungkook right behind him. "You said he was same age."

"That's not him!" says Jungkook. He tugs Taehyung away, apologizing profusely to Hoseok. "If you'd let me finish I would have told you he's still coming."

"But this one is so hot," whines Taehyung. "Why would you bring me here to meet a hot guy and then have an extra hot guy that’s not the one I'm supposed to meet? That's cruel, Kookie."

"I didn't mean to," says Jungkook. "Hoseok-ssi is just… here. He brought Yoongi so that Yoongi can take Namjoon to get us strawberries."

"Oh wow, you know Yoongi?" says Taehyung. He grins over his shoulder at Hoseok. "Isn't he just the cutest?"

Yoongi clears his throat, and Taehyung looks over and brightens further. "Hey hyung! Did Jungkook introduce you to Hoseok-ssi? Wow, he's quite the matchmaker these days."

"You told me that you had a medical appointment and that's why you couldn't finish your filing work this morning," says Yoongi darkly.

"I do," says Taehyung. "My heart is wasting away from lack of romantic encounters, and Jungkook is going to fix it."

Yoongi rolls his eyes, but he reddens when Taehyung looks speculatively between Hoseok and Namjoon. "I guess you're taken care of in that department aren't you? Spoiled for choice around here!"

"Shut up," says Yoongi. "You're coming in early on Monday, got it?"

"Got it!" says Taehyung.

"Right," says Yoongi. "Okay. Let's go. You're still not wearing enough shirt."

Namjoon starts, then looks down at himself. "Oh, right."

He leans into the tent to grab his bag, then rifles through it for a white t-shirt. He pulls his tank top off, then drags the t-shirt over his head. When he opens his eyes he finds the whole yard staring at him. Seokjin is smirking, and Jungkook's eyes are huge, but Yoongi's the one his gaze snaps to immediately. His cheeks are still pink, his mouth a little slack, and he crosses his arms as soon as he realizes Namjoon can see him. He looks almost angry, which abruptly reminds Namjoon that he probably is.

Namjoon stops tugging his shirt down in fear. "Is everything okay?"

"Well hello sailor," says a new voice, and he realizes that Jimin showed up while he was getting his shirt. "Are you sure you're not a vibe guy? Because damn."

"Jimin-ssi!" says Jungkook. "Finally! Why are you always late?"

"I think I was exactly on time for that show," says Jimin, nodding to Namjoon. "What a welcome. Anyway, Jungkook, you'd better not be fucking with me this time or I swear -"

"Jimin?" says Hoseok. He skirts around Taehyung carefully, then holds his arms out wide. "My most beautiful bro! I didn't expect to see you here!"

Jimin grins and sprints into the hug. "I always want to be where you are, hyung!"

"Ah, that's my Jiminie," says Hoseok fondly. "You look very sexy today."

"Thanks," says Jimin. "I'm here for a blind date. Jungkook is setting me up."

"Oh," says Hoseok, lips pursed before he smiles and steps back. "Then I think this is who you're looking for! Kim Taehyung-ssi, meet Park Jimin. Park Jimin, Kim Taehyung-ssi. You're same age friends!"

Jimin looks Taehyung up and down slowly, the corners of his mouth turning up, and Taehyung repeats the act even more obviously. "Very nice to meet you."

"And you," says Taehyung, his voice even deeper than before, and just a little husky. "It's been a long time coming, but I think we're going to get along just fine."

"Me too," purrs Jimin. "Are you ready to go?"

Taehyung tilts his head to the side, his loose shirt slipping from his shoulder. "You don't know where we're going."

"Does it matter?" says Jimin.

"Not at all," says Taehyung, his eyes boring into Jimin's. "Jungkook, I'll need the sex chest back. ASAP."

"I need to wash things first," says Jungkook, and Taehyung reaches blindly behind him for the high five.

"That's quite enough of everything," says Seokjin, red-eared. "Everyone get off of my land. Hoseok, did you still want breakfast?"

Hoseok's smile is still in place, but it's a little more wooden than before. "Of course! I love breakfast."

He moves towards the house, but Taehyung holds a hand out to stop him. "Hoseok-ssi, breakfast is also about to be available at my place. If you want."

"Um," says Hoseok, looking back at Jimin. "That seems…"

"Perfect," says Jimin. He grins winsomely, and sidles over to Hoseok, and the dangle of his earring glints in the sunlight. "I think it seems perfect. I haven't hung out with my sweet Hoseokie hyung in days. So how do you two know each other?"

"I met him ten minutes ago," says Taehyung. "And you?"

"We dance together," says Jimin. "Among other things."

Hoseok squeaks, and Namjoon can't help but notice that Jimin's hand is right at ass-level, then tries to forget.

"That's what I thought," says Taehyung. He looks at Hoseok appraisingly, his eyebrow raised. "Definitely perfect."

Hoseok colors deeply but lets Jimin wind an arm around his waist, and when they tug him towards the street he follows along without protest.

Jungkook shoots a thumbs up to the word at large. "Sweet! Now I don't owe anyone anything and I get all the egg toast for myself. Have fun everyone!"

Seokjin grabs Jungkook's arm, swats the back of his head and smacks a kiss on his cheek, then steers him towards the house. He shoots a look at Namjoon, who's still staring, and jerks his head toward Yoongi. "Have fun indeed," he says. "I want this tent out of my yard in ten minutes, and I'm changing my door code and installing extra locks. See you in the next millennium."

They disappear, as do Jimin, Taehyung and a giggling Hoseok, and then it's just Yoongi and Namjoon standing on the grass.

"Can you help me pack up the tent?" asks Namjoon after a long moment, slightly embarrassed.

Yoongi nods, and his glossy, smooth hair flashes with light, and he's so pretty that Namjoon's heart stops thumping for a few beats. When Yoongi passes by, his shoulder brushes against Namjoon's bicep like the heat of a comet in atmosphere, and Namjoon nearly falls over.

"Let me get my stuff out first," he says quickly, and he kneels down to gather everything into his arms and dump it into his hiking pack. It's not as neatly folded as when Hoseok re-packed his original attempts, but it all fits after he stuffs it in with a few solid efforts. He's been lifting with Jungkook the last few days, mostly out of distress, and he can already feel a power differential. Okay, sorry."

"No problem," says Yoongi, his voice a little higher than usual before he coughs. "Do you have the tent bag?"

Namjoon slaps his forehead, then digs around in the pack to find it while Yoongi works, and by the time he finds it Yoongi has everything disassembled and neatly organized. It's very him, and Namjoon meets his eyes for the first time since they started the process.

"You're really good at tents," he says.

"Thanks," says Yoongi, smiling to himself.

He takes the bag and packs the poles and canvas away, graceful hands making easy work of it, and Namjoon can only watch helplessly and wonder if they're actually going to pick strawberries now like Namjoon isn't in love with him.

Yoongi stands up when he's done, brushing his hands off and letting Namjoon sling the bag over his back. "Ready? I think we'll still make it in plenty of time."

"To the farm," says Namjoon, more a question than a statement.

"Obviously," says Yoongi. "Come on."

Namjoon trails him to his car, staring at the back of him in a way that feels less than appropriate, and Yoongi opens the trunk for all of Namjoon's things. But when Namjoon goes to throw them in, he stops short.

"Are those -"

"Strawberry baskets," says Yoongi briskly. "For the strawberries."

And Namjoon can see that, but they're not just baskets. They're baskets emblazoned with Namjoon and Yoongi's names on the side in careful lettering, two each, with softly pastel canvas lining their interiors. The weave of the thin wood is beautiful and contrasting, dark and light in turn, and as Namjoon studies them he slowly, wonderfully, realizes that Yoongi made them himself.

He turns to his hyung, his small hyung with large hands and an even larger heart, and Yoongi is staring at the baskets furiously. It's his most vicious scowl, but Namjoon's known him long enough to know the generous spirit his irritation is determinedly covering up, and the frozen explosion awakens and blows his fear away. Yoongi has forgiven him, forgiven it all, and they can be just as they've always been without any problems.

"They're beautiful," he says quietly. He gently sets his bag and the tent next to them. "Thank you, hyung. It must have been a lot of work."

"It was a good project to take on," says Yoongi. "No trouble at all."

"No trouble?" says Namjoon, and something in his voice makes Yoongi look up.

Namjoon stops breathing at the sparkle in his eyes, the quiet sparkle and the delicate smile lurking around Yoongi's lips. It's nothing he hasn't seen before but it also feels like something he's never seen before and barely dared to dream of. And that feeling is solidified when those pinks lips say, very softly, "Of course. Hyung loves you too, Namjoon-ah."

As soon as it's said Yoongi spins on his heels and goes to the driver's seat, and Namjoon scrambles to follow him. Did he just - was that just - could it have -?

His thoughts don't unravel when Yoongi starts the car, lyrical beats pouring out of the speaker, and they don't unravel when they're easing onto the highway, and they're still not straightened out by the time he opens his mouth and says, "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure," says Yoongi.

His hands rest easily on the steering wheel, guiding them safely without any apparent effort, but Namjoon sees his knuckles whiten for a second.

"Why did you stop drinking coffee?"

Yoongi frowns, like that's not what he expected, but he says, "It was hurting my stomach. The doctor recommended it."

"Oh," says Namjoon. "Are you better now?"

"I'm fine."

"That's good," says Namjoon, and goes back to his confused thoughts.

"How did you even know I stopped?" says Yoongi, then answers his own question. "Taehyung."

Namjoon nods, then realizes Yoongi can't see him, but it doesn't seem to matter. He grumbles something about extra filing duty every weekend for the next month, takes the next exit.

"Have you been worrying about it?" asks Yoongi, and even though Namjoon protests Yoongi obviously doesn't believe him. He peeks over and smiles at Namjoon, and Namjoon smiles back, and they're quiet until they get to the strawberry farm and park carefully on the side of the road.

Yoongi pops the trunk and gets out, and Namjoon follows him. He gets a warm feeling inside his stomach when he sees the baskets again, and he stops Yoongi from reaching in to grab them.

"Can I ask you something else?" he says.

He's still holding Yoongi's wrist, and Yoongi doesn't try to stop him as he nods.

"When you say you love me," says Namjoon, then swallows. "When you say you love me do you mean what I meant when I said I love you?"

Yoongi huffs a laugh, a creaky exhalation of air that barely makes a sound. "Namjoon."

Namjoon whines, and Yoongi laughs again. He extracts his wrist, then turns and catches the front of Namjoon's shirt. His grip is strong and commanding, and Namjoon stills.

"When I say I love you I mean this," says Yoongi, then pulls Namjoon to him and kisses him without any warning at all.

His lips are soft and sure, pressure just right, everything just right, and Namjoon's hands settle around his waist. When Yoongi breaks away to breathe Namjoon holds him close, and chases him, and Yoongi lets himself be chased for another sweet, glorious moment.

"Oh," says Namjoon when they stop. He's a little out of breath. "Yeah. Yeah that's what I meant too."

Yoongi's pink cheeks are back, but he doesn't drop his gaze. "That's what I was hoping. Now come on, we still have a walk and you and your muscles are carrying the baskets."

"I am?" says Namjoon, but he's already grabbing them. He could carry the whole car right now if he needed to, and when he says that to Yoongi his eyes darken.

"Let's start with the fruit," says Yoongi, then kisses Namjoon again before walking off. "I hope this ends your mountain-living plans. The city is the only future I want."

"Oh yeah, the city is great," says Namjoon, tripping over his feet as he follows. "But we can still go camping right? Right?"

"Yes, Namjoon-ah. We can still go camping," sighs Yoongi. "One date at a time, okay?"

Namjoon stumbles again, then grins. "Okay. Okay. One date at a time."

They're just at the entrance to the farm, a smiling woman waiting for them to pay for their tickets when Namjoon stops in his tracks. He takes in the world, and the handmade gifts in his hands, and the way life is somehow the way it is, and says, "Oh my god. I really, really love you."

Yoongi looks back and takes a single basket out of Namjoon's arms with a smile.

"So I've heard," says Yoongi. "But it's nice to hear it on purpose. Now come on, Namjoon-ah. Let's go."