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What doesn't kill you (really should have)

Summary:

Everyone has their guilty pleasures and deepest secrets. Something they can indulge themselves in without prying eyes. Something that if other people ever found out they would immediately self destruct in embarrassment.

Izuku keeps his locked in a compartment below his desk.

It's just his luck there's suspicion of a traitor floating around the school...and that the principal has ordered full room inspections.

(Alternatively)

Izuku reads BL and was planning to take this to the grave.

"I'm going to kill myself."

Notes:

Sorry, I've been inactive for a bit, there's been a few things going on and I haven't sat down to write for my fanfics in a while. I'll try to get updates for my other fics out soon, and I hope you enjoy this short fic!!!

Please tell me about typos! I wrote this at one in the morning

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Izuku had fascinated himself with all kinds of stories ever since he could remember walking. Stories of journeys across lost lands. Of rebellions in a dystopian future. Of zombies and the survivors who were maybe just as dangerous. He read fiction stories of hero's that existed before quirks did, and nonfiction biographies of the heroes they had now. Many of All Might. 

 

They were stories packed heavy with action and adventure. Things that would get any kid excited especially an energetic one like him. Sometimes in these stories there were more than just these elements. Some stories contained knights that saved their damsels in shining armour. Men and women that sacrificed their lives for the ones they loved. Heroes that would risk the world for that one special person. 

 

The butterflies these particular scenes gave him felt addictive. He craved the feeling more and more until he found himself seeking out romance books and Manga. He would try to disguise himself the best he could when buying these things, and he would always buy it with his own money. He could never look his mother in the eyes and ask for a romance book. 

 

He was introduced to BL by an overheard conversation on the roof during lunchtime. He had no friends to eat with so he would usually eat alone near the railings and watch the city. 

 

"Haebom is so adorable!" A girl with green streaks going through her black hair shrieked. 

 

"Both him and Taesung are the cutest thing I have ever had the privilege to lay eyes on, I can die happy." The girl with pink hair next to her sighed contently. "It's so frustrating that they thought the other hated them, like hello it's obvious you've been in love since the day you met!" The girl with pink hair continued. 

 

The girl with black hair laughed with her friend, then glanced at Izuku who was looking at them curiously while quietly eating his sandwich. 

 

Izuku quickly looked away with a soft noise of surprise. 

 

"Hey, you," the girl called to him. "It's Midoriya, right?" 

 

Izuku startled slightly at the sound of his name, then nodded. "Umm..yes." 

 

She gestured him over which caused him to momentarily pause in confusion, before scurrying off of his feet in fear of looking like he was ignoring her. 

 

Her friend with the pink hair eyed him with something like mischief. "Hey Midoriya, you read a lot of books." She stated

 

Izuku nodded. 

 

"Do you read romance?" She asked with her eyes sparkling. 

 

Izuku's face immediately flushed red as he tried to sputter out denials. "What? Read romance? M-me...but I'm a guy, ya know. Pshhh I only read, like, heavy gore and...horror and action and stuff." He stuttered awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck. 

 

"You do!" The friend with the green hair pointed at him. "You're totally flustered because you read romance!" 

 

"I do not!" Izuku tried to blatantly lie, tomato red and mouth hanging open like a fish. "I-I, umm, I just get embarrassed easily." He defended himself. 

 

"Ooh! Since you read romance do you also read BL?" The girl with the pink hair asked. 

 

Izuku faltered for a moment. "BL?" He questioned. "Umm, like the sandwich?" He narrowed his eyes. "BL-T?" 

 

"No dummy." The girl with the pink hair laughed. "Like the genre, boys love. It's stories about gay people. Like how girls love or GL is stories about lesbians." 

 

Izuku was frozen for a moment. "I don't think I've ever heard of that." He said blankly. 

 

"Well you were missing out! Sit down my friend, let us introduce you to heaven." The girl with green streaks gestured for him to sit. "What's your number, this is going to take longer than one lunch period."  

 

This is how Izuku made his first (Kind of) friends. The girl with green streaks was named Lunesta Akida and the girl with pink hair was called Fima Remeko. That lunch period they showed him many different BLs, cute ones, dramatic ones, scary ones, and ones he will never say the name of. They spent at least ten minutes explaining what the omegaverse was to him, and he still didn't understand what the hell they were talking about. 

 

They put him into a group chat where they gave him recommendations and talked about the stories they were reading. Eventually they even started coming over to his house so they could talk about it in his room. 

 

You can imagine his mom's surprise when he suddenly had two girls always coming over that weren't his relatives or were working on a school project. 

 

Izuku became just as excited about these stories as the girls. He screeched and screamed with them when they read certain manga together. He found himself saving more and more money to spend on BLs. Whether they were mangas he would buy at the store or manhwas he would buy coins for to read online (disguised of course). 

 

He made sure to get some place to safely store these books without his mom seeing. He had an All Might themed chest that was nicely sized and had a key to it. He treated it almost like a car, he made sure it was locked like it was a religious practice. He wouldn't risk the embarrassment of his mother seeing. 

 

Akida and Remeko would be the only ones to ever know this secret. 

 

When they made the dorms at U.A. a requirement, he reluctantly brought his chest of BL along. He thought it was secretive enough that it wouldn't raise suspicion, everything he had was already All Might themed anyway. He really didn't want to be bored when he was alone in his dorm room. 

 

In hindsight maybe he should have risked the boredom.

 

__________

 

Izuku rubbed his fingers along the cushions of the couch boredly as a movie he wasn't paying attention to played in the background. He would usually be in his room or training during the weekend but the girls insisted on everyone having a movie night. 

 

The movie lost his interest about ten minutes in, it was some comedy and a moose had broken into the house and peed on one of the kids...It wasn't exactly his taste in genre. Everyone else seemed to love it though. 

 

He wanted to go back to his room, but he didn't want to be rude or make anyone worried about him so he just boredly played with pillows on the couch. 

 

He was in the process of periodically suffocating himself with a pretty sunflower pillow when Aizawa walked into the common room accompanied by the Detective they had to talk to a few times after incidents like the USJ and training camp. 

 

Iida quickly paused the movie and stood up to greet the adults. "Good afternoon, sensei. Is there something you need for us to do?" He asked. 

 

"Do we have to be interrogated again?" Mina sighed.                  

 

"No." Their teacher responded, causing some kids to perk up a little. "As you are all aware we are investigating the school for a traitor working with the league of villains." He said scanning over the class. "As a safety measure Nezu has ordered for all dorm rooms to be inspected since we do not keep cameras inside the rooms for your privacy. We will try to be quick, but we will need each of you there while we are inspecting. So you'll have to stop your movie for a bit." He said, ignoring the groans and complaints coming from the students. 

 

Izuku was a bit relieved, he finally had an excuse to go to his room. 

 

"Are you guys actually gonna go through all of our stuff?" Kaminari asked, a bit nervously. 

 

Aizawa nodded. "We will briefly scan over everything." 

 

Mina's eyes widened for a split second. "By everything...do you mean like, everything everything. Or like most things, everything. Because isn't everything everything a violation of privacy?" She nervously laughed. 

 

Aizawa nodded. "Today you will be sacrificing a bit of your privacy for the benefit of the school." 

 

Everyone looked at him dumbfounded for a moment. 

 

Then Izuku thought of his chest full of Bls. some of which were just tame love story's and some containing graphic depictions of male intercourse. He sat up on the couch slowly, and proceeded to make a break for his room. His actions were quickly followed by most others. 

 

Aizawa rubbed his face as he sighed into his hand. "We're still going to check it if you run." He rolled his eyes. 

 

His statement was followed by the sound of a bunch of locking doors. "We have master keys." He announced loudly. "Damn teens." 

 

Izuku stood with his back against his newly locked door, which he knew wouldn't do much. Why did they have to do room searches? Couldn't just asking someone if they were a traitor be enough? Why did he bring that damn chest? 

 

He could throw it out of the window, but one of the robots would probably just catch it and he would be found out anyway. 

 

"Okay, think Izuku." He muttered to himself. Maybe he could hide the chest in the closet or under the bed. But wouldn't that just make them suspicious of the box if they found it. He could maybe hide it in the bathroom, would they check the bathrooms? Izuku sighed into his hands. Why wouldn't they check the bathrooms. A brief thought passed of eating the books, but that was impossible. 

 

What if he destroyed it with one for all? That would probably cause a bigger mess than he wanted to clean. For a moment he was at a loss. Then he thought of the key. He was the only one who knew where the key was and what it looked like. If he kept it on him and pretended he just couldn't find it, maybe they'd dismiss the chest? It was unlikely, but it was the best thing he could think of at the moment. 

 

Izuku hurried to a drawer in his desk where he kept a few other trinkets and his key to the chest. He worried his lips while deciding the best place to put it before deciding to stuff it inside his house shoe, under his foot. The small metal key felt uncomfortable and cold against his bare skin, but for now he had to bare it.  

 

He let himself take in some deep breaths and sat himself on his bed. Waiting for either a successful plan or death by embarrassment. He felt like he was in a horror movie as the time on his clock ticked. He could feel his stomach sink and turn and he could feel himself throw up in his mouth every few seconds. He jumped every now and then when he heard a new door unlock and another student complain about this and that. Izuku suspected they were going by class order, so he would be near last. He wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing. 

 

Izuku flinched when he heard the loud bakugou sounding complaints echo throughout the dorm. He felt his heart sink, if they were on Bakugou right now he was next. His leg unconsciously bounced up and down as he wrung his hands together like an old man with too many bills to pay. It'll probably be fine if he just acted normal. They might not even care about the stupid chest…Izuku gave a glance at the all might themed chest stored beneath his desk. He had plenty of All Might themed things, he was totally overreacting. No way they were going to search every single All Might themed thing he had, sometimes it was too much even for him. 

 

Just as he was about to let himself relax a firm knock on the door caused him to let out a startled yelp. He quickly covered his mouth and internally scolded himself. Izuku cleared his throat to regain composure. "Yes?" He asked. 

 

"We are entering to do a mandatory search." His teacher's blunt voice said from the other end of the door. "You can open the door or we could." He boredly drawled. 

 

"Right." Izuku said sitting up and walking over to his door. He tried to ignore the slight tremble in his hand as he turned the lock and opened the door. "Hello, sensei…" he greeted with a strained smile. "How are you?" He asked, standing in front of the entrance, blocking their way in. 

 

"Great." His teacher replied boredly. "Can we come in?" He asked peeping into the room. 

 

"Oh yeah, of course." Izuku said with a smile a bit too cheerful. "Come in." He said, like the words were hurting him while moving away from the door. 

 

As his teacher walked into the room he was followed by the detective and a police officer he hadn't known was there. They seemed to have a momentarily shocked delay at the sight of All Might's face plastered on every wall. Normally Izuku would feel embarrassed, but he was too busy internally freaking out about his chest of BLs to think much about how obsessed with All Might he seems. 

 

"This shouldn't take too long." The detective stated. "Officer Maki here has a quirk that allows for him to scan rooms. It lets him see everything except for things in closed compartments, so those things are the only ones we will have to physically check." The detective explained. 

 

Izuku nodded before fully processing what the detective had said. "That's such a useful quirk for police work!" Izuku said with stars in his eyes. "Being able to scan the scene before tampering with things makes it easier for an completely accurate analysis of the scene." He rambled off. "I bet you could be a great hero too." He said vibrating with eagerness. "What's your quirk called?" He asked excitedly. 

 

The officer seemed taken aback. "Umm...it's called Inspect ." He answered. 

 

"You'll be able to ask him questions after he does his job." His teacher said before Izuku could hound the police officer. "Carry on with the inspection." He told the officer. 

 

The officer nodded and took off a pair of glasses Izuku had just realized he was wearing. Before he knew it a faint green glow had enveloped the room, the source seeming to be from the officer's eyes. The officer did a slow 360° spin before the green light disappeared. Izuku was about to comment on how cool that was when a piece of paper seemingly printed from the officer's stomach. Which he handed to the detective. 

 

"Whoa…" Izuku mouthed, staring at the piece of paper. 

 

The detective examined the paper for a moment before nodding and handing it back to the officer. The officer put it in a folder that had similar pieces of paper in it. 

 

"So far there is nothing out of the ordinary. We'll be out of your hands after we check your drawers, your desk, and your storage container underneath it." 

 

"Okay." Izuku nodded before realizing what storage container underneath his desk they were talking about. Before he could even react to the realization they were already opening his drawers and sifting through his clothing. He would've felt embarrassed about them seeing his All Might underwear if he hadn't been panicking about the storage container

 

Before he knew it they were on to his desk, opening the small drawers and inspecting his trinkets. Tsukauchi directed a confused frown to the beheaded All Might figure he had in the corner of the drawer. He kept it there because he was too attached to throw it away. He also had a bunch of other weird things in there he couldn't care less about at the moment. 

 

He managed to speak out right before they went to inspect the All Might chest. 

 

"Oh, there's no need to search that. It only has books and stuff in it." He said, trying not to seem nervous. 

 

The officer and his teacher looked to the detective. 

 

"That registers as the truth, but we'll need to check everything regardless." The detective said apologetically. 

 

"Well… I-I don't think it's that important, ya know…" He said, rubbing the back of his neck and scrunched his face up like he was hurt. "I mean, I'm sure you guys have more pressing matters to attend to, haha…" 

 

"It'll only take a moment." The detective smiled kindly, reaching to pull the chest out from under the desk. 

 

Izuku started tapping his foot on the ground, a nervous tick he had that didn't go unnoticed by his teacher. "Oh, umm...okay." He didn't have to completely freak out just yet. It was locked, and if he didn't say anything no one would know where the key was. 

 

His teacher looked at the All Might themed chest with only a bit of distaste. He tried to open it before noticing it had a keyhole. "Where's the key to it?" His teacher asked, poking at the lock. 

 

"Hmmm….the key?" Izuku repeated, looking around the room slowly. 

 

"Yes, the key." His teacher blankly stated. 

 

"Um, it was in my desk drawer earlier." Izuku said as if he were confused. He had to be careful about what he said with the lie detector detective being in the room. 

 

After a nod from the detective his teacher walked over to the drawer and began rummaging through his trinkets. After a bit of clanking things together and turning things over his teacher turned back to him. "It's not there." He stated. 

 

Izuku furrowed his eyebrows in fake confusion. "Huh? That's weird, I swear I saw it there earlier…" He said, subconsciously tapping the side of his leg. "Well, guess there's nothing to be done-" 

 

"Where was the last place you put it?" His teacher asked suddenly, a bit suspiciously. This wasn't a question he could easily respond to without being caught in a lie. So he just stared blankly for a moment. 

 

"Huh?....Umm sorry, repeat that." He said, looking around and desperately trying to keep himself from sprinting out of the room. 

 

"Where was the last place you put it?" His teacher repeated. Staring at him unimpressed. 

 

Izuku avoided his gaze. "Uh, um- earlier it was in my-" 

 

"That wasn't what I asked." His teacher cut him off. "I asked where was the last place you put it. You're avoiding giving a straight answer." His teacher pointed out. "Don't poke around the question, answer it." His teacher spoke sternly. 

 

"Yeah...uh- sorry sensei." Izuku apologized. "The last place I put it… " he started. "Well, I can't really remember it too well, hah, sorry." Izuku said with a forced smile, which immediately dropped when he saw the detective shake his head. 

 

"That is a blatant lie." The detective stated, as if Izuku wasn't aware of this fact. 

 

"Oh, really?" Izuku asked, his voice starting to get a bit high and his hands starting to get sweaty. "Umm, that's weird." He awkwardly laughed, voice progressively getting higher. 

 

"Where is it?" The detective asked. Starting to look at Izuku suspiciously. 

 

"Where's what?" Izuku asked, putting on a confused face. 

 

"The key." The detective stated. 

 

"Hmm, uhm what key?" Izuku said, acting as if he were thinking really hard about the situation. "I don't, hmm- I don't remember a key?" He said, nervously licking his lips. 

 

"Okay, we don't have time for these games." His teacher said before encasing him in his capture weapon. 

 

Izuku yelped a bit as he was pulled off of the floor and his slightly too big slippers fell off his feet. As they hit the floor the key also spilled out with a loud clank as it hit the floor. For a moment Izuku cursed his procrastination of getting new, better fitting slippers. 

 

Before anyone could even react, Izuku powered up a bit of one for all to escape from the capture weapon and grab the key. He hid it behind him as he backed himself into a wall. 

 

"Why can't you guys just leave it alone. It's none of your business what I keep in my own property." He said, a bit irritated. 

 

"This isn't a good look for you, Midoriya." His teacher said, starting to regard him with a certain level of caution. "Give me the key." His teacher demanded, slowly walking over to him. 

 

"No." Izuku said, keeping a cautious eye on everyone in the room. 

 

"What are you hiding?" His teacher asked, still slowly making his way to Izuku. 

 

"I promise it doesn't concern you." Izuku said, keeping the key pressed tightly against his back. "You're making all this trouble for no reason." He complained. 

 

"There won't be any trouble once you give me the key." His teacher said, activating his quirk and speeding towards Izuku. 

 

Izuku shrieked, and in a panic stuffed the key in his mouth.

 

His teacher froze and stared at Izuku who had his hands clamped over his mouth and his eyes wide open in a shocked expression. He wasn't sure that was what he wanted to do. 

 

"What you're hiding must be important then." His teacher said, looking at him with distaste. "To go to such lengths to hide it. I can't stand dishonesty." His teacher frowned. "Especially from my students." 

 

Izuku felt kinda bad and wanted to say something, but he had a key in his mouth so he just shrugged. His teacher did not like the way he just shrugged because it looked like he wanted to tackle him. Izuku didn't care about his teacher being mad at him, as long as no one saw what was in the chest. 

 

"I was being nice...but I don't really need the key." His teacher said, walking away from him and back towards the chest. Izuku watched in confusion before seeing his teacher ball up a fist. Izuku wasn't fast enough and a hole had already been punched into where the keyhole used to be. The chest collapsed on itself and the contents of it came spilling out. 

 

On top of all the other BLs the one that was center view had to be one with one of the most graphic and sexual cover pages known to man. Literal gay intercourse happening on the cover page, because there is no God .

 

Izuku sunk to his knees and covered his face in embarrassment. "Fuck me, fuck my life, I hate everything, I'm going to kill myself, swan dive of some stupid roof." He cursed. "I hope my next breath is my last." He whined, sinking completely into the floor. "I'm running away and never showing my face again." His whole body was hot pink in embarrassment. He had never wanted to disappear so badly in his entire life. 

 

"Are you joking? You were acting all suspicious over this?" His teacher said, exasperated. 

 

Izuku just nodded into the floor. 

 

"I thought you were hiding something traitorous? I was ready to have you handcuffed you brat." His teacher sighed. 

 

"I think I'd take rotting in jail for eternity over this." Izuku said, voice muffled by the floor. 

 

"And it's all just books of…" his teacher drawled off. Then chuckled slightly. "Wow, I guess everyone has their special interest." He said, like he was trying not to laugh. Then busted out laughing anyway. Which was quickly joined by the detective and the officer. 

 

"My daughter has that one." the officer mentioned, pointing at something Izuku dared not look up and see. 

 

"Can you leave?" Izuku asked, still trying to suffocate himself with the floor. 

 

Aizawa was still laughing and had to compose himself before answering. "Yeah, we've still got a couple more rooms to check." He said. "Sorry about your chest, I'll buy you a new one. It'll be bigger so you can read even more stories." His teacher lightly poked fun at him. 

 

Izuku only responded by trying to bury himself deeper into the floor. 

 

Even after they left he probably stayed on the floor for another two hours. He'll never be able to look his teacher in the eyes again. He hoped somehow he'd be struck by some memory erasing quirk so he could forget all of this for the rest of his life. 

 

"Yep, I'm going to kill myself." 
















Notes:

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