Chapter Text
“We’re going to have to take you shopping. You need at least three more wedding-appropriate outfits.” Vinnie says, as she combs through Emily’s closet, throwing a few things on the floor before holding a shirt up to herself in the mirror, a satisfied look on her face. “Hmm. This is cute though. For me.”
Emily glances up from her spot laying on her stomach on her bed and rolls her eyes. “Hands off the merchandise Vin. Especially that one - it’s like, one of the three designer things I own.”
“I will never understand this about you.” Vinnie replies, putting the shirt back and closing the closet before sitting next to Emily on the bed. “I would spend all my money showing off that body I work so hard for at the gym with the most expensive clothes I could find if I looked like you.”
“Well, first, you do look like me, you’re my sister,” Emily says with a slight smile, bumping her shoulder to Vinnie’s waist next to her. “And second, thank you for the compliment, I think.”
Emily hops out of bed and grabs her jacket that was draped over the back of her bedroom desk chair before putting her hair up in a ponytail. “Can’t you just go buy some things for me? I don’t even understand what I’m looking for - why are there so many events to this wedding anyways? Shouldn’t it just be the wedding, the dancing and then we all go home to come to terms with our lonely and miserable existences?”
“Yeah well, it’s Jane and it’s Austin, so it’s mom and the combination is… much . And no, we will go shopping together - you have to try things on, we have like no time to get anything altered. Everything starts in two days.” Vinnie stands up and grabs her phone as it buzzes. “I’ll be right back. Get your shoes on. And don’t wear boots. Need easy on/off. We’re on a mission.” She exits Emily’s bedroom. Emily glances at her suspiciously as she leaves but doesn’t push, and finds some sneakers.
A few minutes later, Emily emerges from her bedroom reluctantly ready to shop. Vinnie, clearly on a FaceTime with someone in the kitchen, finishes up quickly. “Okay, sounds good! Yeah, I’ll see you then.”
“Who was that?” Emily asks as she grabs her crossbody off the table.
“Honestly? It was Sue. She’s in town already.” Emily feels her jaw clench and the hair on her neck stands up involuntarily. Her stomach drops and she wonders if she’ll ever stop feeling physically strained by Sue, even when she’s nowhere to be found. “She wanted to see if I was free for lunch but we made other plans for later instead.” Vinnie continues.
“Cool.” Emily says, grabbing her keys and heading for the door. “Let’s go, we can walk right? I need some air I think.” Emily holds the door open, waiting for Vinnie to exit.
“Yeah, we can walk.” Vinnie says, almost sadly, brushing a hand across her sister's shoulder as she passes out the door she had held for her.
———-
“Okay wait, tell me again - what are the events?” Emily asked, walking down the street with Vinnie sipping her iced coffee. “I feel like I need to make a checklist on my phone.”
“You think I don’t already have one?” Vinnie smirked, whipping out her phone. “There’s the cocktail with everyone from out of town and family Thursday, then rehearsal Friday, rehearsal dinner Friday night, getting ready party Saturday, wedding and reception Saturday night but you already have your outfit for that, farewell brunch Sunday and then hopefully we’re all getting drunk at Newton’s Bar Sunday night once it’s all over for old times sake before people go back home. So, let’s count…5-6 outfits?” Vinnie holds open the door to the first store and pushes Emily inside.
“SIX?”, Emily guffaws. “Jesus Vinnie, my credit card is going to melt.”
“You’ll be fine, stop complaining and just get on board. You can’t get out of it so embrace treating yourself.” Vinnie replies without looking at Emily and thumbing through cashmere sweaters. “Plus - and I know we don’t like to talk about the pint sized elephant in the room like, ever - but don’t you want to look like… smoking hot? You haven’t seen Sue in I don’t even know how long and you know she’s going to come correct…” Emily cuts her off.
“Sue always looks amazing, she’s a fashion editor in Paris, it’s literally her job to look good.” Emily says softly as she rolls her eyes at Vinnies smirk. “And stop. I’m already not looking forward to my inevitably awkward reunion with her and Charlie, I don’t need more pressure.” She holds up a navy dress to herself, scrunches her nose and puts it back. Vinnie pulls it back off the rack and puts it over her arm.
“We’re trying that on.” Vinnie says emphatically, before stopping and turning around quickly to Emily. “Okay I wasn’t sure if I should tell you this or not or if you even want to know but…”
“What is it?” Emily’s breath caught in her throat. Vinnie can’t ever keep secrets and Emily knows it’s always something gutting if she’s trying.
“Charlie’s not here. They broke up a couple weeks ago and he’s moving out while Sue’s here for the wedding. That’s why she got here early.”
Emily and Vinnie stared at each other for a moment before Vinnie continued, placing a hand on Emily’s forearm. “You good?”
Emily shakes herself out of it. “Yeah. Yeah. I mean. Yeah. Is she…? I mean, is she okay? Nevermind. Don’t answer that. I don’t need to know. I guess…I’m surprised?”
“Are you? I don’t think I was.” Vinnie shrugged, turning back to a rack of dresses. “But I guess I talk to Sue more than you have in a while.”
“Not hard to do.” Emily responds with a scoff. Vinnie can sense the hint of bitterness.
“I just mean…it never seemed super…passionate? I don’t know. They were good on paper though for sure. The magazines and blogs loved them together at least. Maybe that’s why they lasted as long as they did. Here, take these and go try them.” Vinnie says, shoving Emily into a dressing room.
A few minutes pass before Emily comes out in one of the outfits Vinnie selected for her - a navy sheath dress that fits just perfectly.
“You look gorgeous and I hate you.” Vinnie replies, moving closer to Emily to take her hair down and fluff it over her shoulders. “This one’s perfect for brunch.”
“Really? I don’t know - it’s not too tight?” Emily says, shifting in the dress uncomfortably.
“Anything that’s not jeans and a tee shirt is going to feel weird for you so just trust me on this.” Emily sighs resignedly. “Now try the green one. I’m going to try on these jeans.”
Vinnie steps into the dressing room next to Emily as they both try on their next outfits.
“Hey Vin?” Emily asks, barely over a whisper.
“Yeah?” Vinnie responds, jumping up and down to shimmy into the new jeans.
“Does Sue like…ask about me? Ever?”
“Do you really want to know that?”
Emily opens the curtain to her room in a green dress that almost makes Vinnie stop in her tracks.
“Okay the green is…beyond. Rehearsal dress.” Emily blushes a little as she preens a bit.
“Yeah I do like this one. I never think about wearing green. Or dresses, really.”
“Okay so we’ll get these here and we’ll try another shop for the other outfits. Let me peel myself out of these pants and we’ll go.”
“Okay.” Emily says as she turns back to the curtain.
“Emily?”
“Yeah?” Emily replies over the curtain, straining to get the zipper undone behind her.
“She asks about you all the time.”
Emily hates herself for smiling.
———-
Emily laid in bed after a long afternoon of shopping with Vinnie surrounded by bags and receipts. Shopping exhausted her every time but today was actually fun - Vinnie relished the opportunity to call the shots and helped her pick out everything she needed for the weekend, down to accessories and the highest heels Emily has ever stepped foot in. She got a few dresses and a couple of “hot lady suits” (Vinnie’s words) that felt more like “Emily”. Emily felt confident about all of them and Vinnie was always her number one hype girl. They didn’t talk anymore about Sue, but Emily couldn’t stop thinking about what Vinnie told her - Sue was here. Alone. Single. And asking about her. Like usual, apparently. In a past life, this would energize Emily. She and Sue used to use these in-between moments to always find their way back to each other. Fill the gaps within one another like a thick salve made just for them.
But this time is different. She hadn’t seen Sue in over a year and aside from a few obligatory check in texts on birthdays and holidays, they hadn’t talked either. The last time they saw each other over dinner in Paris was a disaster of Emily’s own making and the two had made an unspoken agreement after that to give it some space.
Vinnie and Emily were backpacking in Europe for the Summer and Vinnie insisted they see Sue when they were in Paris. Sue brought Charlie. Emily drank too much champagne. Vinnie spent the next morning re-enacting the car crash for Emily as she nursed her hangover over coffee and crepes. Unfortunately, Emily remembers the occasion in excruciating detail now. Burned into her brain and scarred on her heart. She apologized to Sue over text, too chicken to have a real discussion about it, and Sue responded curtly. They never talked about it - or much else - since then.
_____
One year ago. Paris.
“So, Emily, tell me about Sue as a teenager. I just can’t imagine it. She’s just so…Sue.” Charlie asked across the table with a giggle after they all exchanged pleasantries and ‘tell me about work’ and ‘omg you just have to stop in Barcelona, you’ve come this far’. His hand was around the back of Sue’s neck, stroking the hair there. Emily couldn’t help but remember how it felt to touch her there.
Emily was just drunk enough to throw Sue a knowing smirk and Sue was just sober enough to glance away uncomfortably. “Well,” she said, clearing her throat, “Sue was…I don’t know. Fun. A good time.” Emily finishes off her glass of champagne and signals for another as Vinnie places a hand on her knee, silently urging her to reign in her tone.
“A good time?” Sue asked, incredulously. “That’s not how I thought you’d answer that.”
“How would you answer it then?” Charlie asked her.
“Yeah, Sue? How would you answer it?” Emily challenged. Vinnie swallowed hard and finished off her own drink - she’d seen these two square off countless times in her life and was not drunk enough yet for this round.
“I don’t know. I was different. It feels like a lifetime ago, really.” Sue answers, her voice trailing off at the end.
“Different is one way to say it.”
“Emily, stop.” Vinnie whispers, as Emily and Sue stare so intensely across the table even Charlie seems to notice.
"Okay. Well - what about boyfriends? Surely there’s some good stories there to tell.” An innocent question under normal circumstances but just enough to push Emily - drunk, uncomfortable, sad Emily - to her breaking point, as she sits across from the girl who broke her heart and moved to another country without her, and her perfectly nice and fine, some would say handsome boyfriend.
"I’ve always thought the stories about her girlfriends were better.” Emily snared with a wink to Charlie that set Sue on fire.
“Girlfriends? What do you mean?” Charlie asked, half amused and half shocked.
“Shit, Emily.” Vinnie mumbled under her breath as Emily leaned back in her chair, both pleased at the impact of her words on the rest of the table and infuriated by his surprise. Everyone was silent for a few moments until Sue spoke up.
“Nothing. She’s being obtuse. And drunk.” Sue said, spitting venom at Emily and never breaking eye contact.
Emily chuckled to herself, scooted her chair back and put her napkin on the table.
“That’s my cue. Excuse me.” Emily barely heard Vinnie call her name behind her as she raced to the door and outside into the warm Paris evening. It was late and sticky hot. She turned the corner from the restaurant and leaned against the brick exterior, closing her eyes and breathing deep, letting a tear fall halfway down her cheek before wiping it away quickly. She turned to her right when she heard footsteps get nearer. She can tell it’s Sue without even looking. She’ll always know it’s Sue.
“So that’s what you’re doing, then? Just not telling people I exist?” Emily says to the air in front of her, not looking at Sue.
“Charlie knew you existed, Emily. Of course he did.” Sue answered, now leaning against the wall next to Emily and facing her as Emily looked ahead. Making eye contact with Sue right now just might break her entirely.
“Oh, okay. He just didn’t know WE existed then.” Emily replied, her voice breaking as she continued. “Although as more time goes by I wonder if maybe I’m the one who made that part up.” She turned her head against the wall to look at Sue now.
“That’s not fair.” Sue’s eyes were filled with something. Tears or regret or anger. Emily couldn’t tell which. She didn’t want to know.
“Yeah.” Emily wanted to reach out to Sue. Touch her. Hug her. Kiss her. Something, anything. But part of her felt like a ghost. She looked so familiar but felt like a ghost.
“Emily, I’m not sure what you wanted me to do here. What was I supposed to tell Charlie? ‘Hey babe, my best friend and her sister who I haven’t seen in a year are coming to visit and by the way I used to have sex with her - my friend not her sister - I hope that’s not uncomfortable for you’?” Emily’s jaw clenched as she tried to determine which part of that sentence upset her more - reducing their relationship down to just having sex with each other, or Sue calling him babe.
“Fuck off, Sue.” Was all she could get out. Sue paused, teetering on her feet for a minute. Sue was used to a lot of versions of Emily. Sweet Emily who would make her coffee in the mornings and play with her hair at night. Passionate Emily who would kiss her senseless at every opportunity and whisper “I love you” against her collarbone when she slept and always make sure she came. Frenzied Emily who would hop out of bed and write lyrics on the back of receipts she found in drawers because she couldn’t stand it living in her head a minute longer. But mean, cruel Emily was a version she’d never get used to. She’s run from this version of Emily her entire life.
“Okay.” And before Emily could take it back or say anything - something - else, Sue was walking away. Impossible, gorgeous, her Sue was gone.
A few minutes later Vinnie rounded the corner.
“Sue and Charlie left. I bought a bottle of wine at the corner store. Let’s get drunk…er in your case.”
———-
Emily groaned at the memory and sat up and out of bed. She was due to go to the studio tonight and help George record a few demos - they always wrote and recorded demos together late at night. Something about the rest of the world being so quiet brought out their best. She needed a shower and to eat something before she left.
She got out of the shower and walked to the kitchen after drying off her hair with her towel. She was leaning into the fridge in her tee shirt and undies when her phone pinged. She stood up straight at the sound, a notification assigned to only one person. She used to hear it endlessly and now, it conjured up something that both comforted her and felt like pushing on an old well-worn bruise at the same time. She walked back to her bedroom where her phone was charging and saw three messages - one from Vinnie and two from Sue.
Vinnie (6:07): I just met up with Sue. She wants to see you before the wedding. Just a heads up. Don’t be stupid and not go.
Sue (6:34): Hey Emily. It’s been a while.
Sue (6:36): Are you free for a drink tonight?