Chapter Text
At the age of four Jungkook yearned for the day he will be an adult. A person who can make decisions for his own life. No one would, no one could tell him what to do.
His only reason back than had been talking. He thought, naive as he had been, by the time he is grown up no one can tell him to speak. If he wants he could stay silent for two whole weeks. Two whole weeks, a eternity for four year old Jungkook.
There will be no, ‘Jungkook say hello to the parents of your friend Jimin.’ - Jungkook had been utterly confused by that. First of all, why should he say hello, both of them had seen him already? He doesn’t understand. Second of all, since then had Jimin been his friend? No one ever told him. - ‘Jungkook tell us about your weekend’, ‘Jungkook sing with us’, ‘Jungkook you have to tell us why you are upset’, ‘Jungkook’, ‘Jungkook’, ‘Jungkook speak louder’, ‘Jungkook don’t cry’, ‘Jungkook what do you want to do’ and so on.
Most of the time Jungkook just wanted to be left alone. Left alone drawing, reading, staring into nothingness.
He enjoyed that.
It’s not even like he does nothing, when he sits around. No, back then, he didn’t knew. But now he does. He had been thinking. Jungkook’s mind is a interesting place. He doesn’t need others to have fun, he can keep himself company.
Quite frankly more often than not he doesn’t even want others around. They puzzle Jungkook, usually he couldn’t understand what they wanted from him.
The adults.
Additionally he rarely understood the other kids, this might have been the reason he preferred to be alone. They were loud, worked in ways he didn’t get and wanted the stupidest things - really, one time Jimin wanted him to pretend that they were tigers. Jungkook told him that’s impossible, told him ‘You can’t be a tiger. You are human, and why should I pretend to be one?’. Jimin had no answer, he didn’t even listened, only started growling and biting. Jungkook just walked away frustrated and without saying another word. -.
It’s not Jungkook’s fault that he prefers vegetables and fruits over noodles or chocolate pudding - ‘Your son doesn’t eat’ -, that he prefers drawing over playing with the other kids - ‘Jungkook doesn’t play with the other kids.’-, that he likes to count the balls in the ball pool instead of jumping around in it - ‘Jungkook, don’t take out the balls.’ -, that he likes to look at the books and tries to read them, - ‘Jungkook, you can’t always sit here alone. Come play with us.’ - and that he prefers routine over spontaneous activities - ‘Jungkook, why are you crying again?’.
Now he is in university and he has long ago realised just how naive he has been. He wants to go back in time, when others only wanted him to talk about his weekends and not about communication theory.
“I-“ Jungkook tries to remember what he read yesterday, what he studied, looks anxiously through his notes, “The five axioms.”. That’s all he gets out of his mouth.
“Yes?” His female professor probs.
And Jungkook thinks, I am supposed to say more?. He is pretty sure she asked him for the basis of Watzlawick’s communication theory, she didn’t asked to explain them or name them.
What does she want from him?
“Yes.” He says.
A defeating silence stays in the room, before everyone moves on like he hasn’t said a word.
And someone else gives another profound answer. A answer that confuses Jungkook to no end. How can the answer be so far away from the initial question? What part of the question did he miss?
He doesn’t try again, to participate. Of course, he listens. He soaks up the thoughts of others and the knowledge that’s gets passed around.
Quiet a while he stares out of the window, watches something small hanging in the corner of the window, long thin legs moved by the wind. It could be a spider or a flower of a dandelion, it’s too far away for Jungkook to recognise it.
Startled by the sudden fuss in the room, people packing up and moving around, he realises his seminar ended.
To his relief on Monday Jungkook doesn’t have another class after his seminar on perception psychology. He should be rested from the weekend, but for some reason his Monday courses drain him to no end.
His eyes hurt, he feels heavy and tired, wants to go home, lay in his bed and drown everything out.
Wants to lock out the annoying ticking of the clock, the chatter of the people, the squeaking of the chairs, the glaring lights and wants to forget the judging eyes of his professor.
Thankfully Monday also means his favourite coffee from his preferred café just around the corner and studying with Jimin in the calmness of the library.
Jungkook’s always finds comfort in the library. It is quite, no one wants to talk to him and he isn’t allowed to talk as well. It’s Jungkook’s favourite place.
With only little energy left he enters the small café, rush hour is over, so it’s quite and peaceful. No blaring pop music, only quite melodic songs, no neon signs, only warm unobtrusive colours.
“Hello Jungkook.” The barista greets him with a smile. Jungkook’s eyes flicker over him and settle on the small brooch on his apron.
A flower.
Jungkook’s likes flower. They are nice to look at. Colourful and interesting.
“One black coffee with a shot of milk?”
“Yes.” Jungkook answers absentmindedly, intensely studying the arrangement of the colours.
What a beautiful purple, he thinks.
As the brown haired barista goes off to make his coffee, Jungkook frowns, “Let me order first.”.
The other swivels around to look back at him.
“One ice americano with a shot of milk.” Jungkook declares like every Monday.
“Got it.” He gets another smile, just a little smaller, maybe even a bit crooked.
Amused, Jungkook thinks, but there is no reason to laugh, is there? His eyes don’t move away from the barista. He has to remind himself that it is impolite to stare, so he looks away for a few second.
Just to look again for a bit, look away, look again and - oh no, the barista pours in his milk.
“You didn’t use the shot glass.”, Jungkook remarks, contrary to what many think, Jungkook isn’t shy and he always speaks if he wants to.
The other laughs at that, stirs his drink and proceeds just like Jungkook hasn’t said anything. Jungkook tries to decipher if his coffee has the right colour or if it is a little milkier than usually, because clearly the milk had not been measured.
“No animal fact for me today?”
“You didn’t draw one at the board.”, Jungkook retorts still concerned about his coffee.
“Hmm? Did I forgot?”
“Purple is one of the most popular flower colours.” Jungkook says just to indulge the other, as his eyes can’t help themselves and flicker again to the brooch.
“Oh, I would have thought its quite rare. Honestly.”
Astonished by the word of the other he continues determined, “No, there is lavender, anemone, indigo, hyacinth, aster, china aster, crocus, petunia, a number of orchids, lilac, rhododendron, butterfly bush and more.”.
“The fragrance of lavender is good for stress relief.” Jungkook continues as he watches Taehyung scribble with a marker over the cup holder of his coffee, “The butterfly bush attracts butterflies thus the name.” .
“I love the smell of lavender.” His barista says as he puts his drink on the counter, “Here you go, Jungkook.”.
“You didn’t use it.” Jungkook repeats, how can the other expect him to be content with his drink like this?
The man just lifts a brow, still smiling.
Jungkook sighs, well, milk is milk, coffee is coffee, what can he do.
“Bye.” He mutters and leaves a little unsettled.
“Have a good day.”
At least the other didn’t forgot his note.
I hope you feel as good as you look.♡.
*
Jimin waits for him at his usual spot in the library engrossed in a book. Slowly he settles down next to him with a whispered “Hey.”.
“What’s up forest fairy?” Jimin smiles up at him. He has a knack to greet Jungkook with unusual words. Jungkook thinks, that’s Jimin thinks he is being funny. Jungkook already told him he isn’t, but Jimin never listens to him.
They see each other nearly every day, so Jungkook doesn’t bother to answer his friend.
He gets out his notebook, his spiral-bound notepad, his yellow pencil case and sets his cup of coffee right next to it. Calmly he takes out his notes from his first lecture to revise it.
The pair of friends work in silence before Jimin interrupts Jungkook’s work flow.
“Jungkook.” Jimin’s voice has an incredulous tone to it.
“Yes?”
Jimin moves his cup so that the small writing is visible, “What’s this?”.
“A note.” Jungkook makes a face at the other.
Jimin rolls his eyes, “Duh, but why do you have it? Who wrote it?”.
Jungkook looks at it, looks back at Jimin, “The barista obviously.”.
Why did he have it?
He bought a coffee, he got a note.
“He wrote it.” Jungkook says, “What do you mean?”.
“There is a heart.” Jimin points his finger at it.
“Don’t touch it.” Jungkook says, not happy about the sudden predicament, “I know it’s a bit weird, right? A heart is mostly used as a sign of affection and love, especially romantic love. Why would they use it so often? I have seen the symbol being used between friends, and coworkers and stuff like that. One time a student send me one in a text, after I helped him out. This café always draws heart on their boards. I guess it’s not surely used for love, maybe it’s a marketing strategy-“
“Jungkook.” Jimin interrupts, “This is written for you.”.
“Yeah, I know.”
“Okay..” Jimin squints his eyes at him,
“Who wrote it?”.
“The barista.”
“Which one?” Jimin’s pries.
“The guy who always has a pin at his apron.”
“You know his name?”
“He told me, but I forgot. You know I am not good with names.”
Jimin just stares at him, “So he is flirting with you? You flirting back?”.
Jungkook is shocked, doesn’t understand how Jimin jumps from a note to flirting. Because of the heart?
“What do you mean! Why would he be flirting?”
“Jungkook, he wrote this message.”
“So?”
“He doesn’t write me messages.”
Something clicks in Jungkook. His eyes widen dramatically and utter shock is visible in his face, he suddenly speaks even quieter than before.
“They don’t write everyone notes?” He whispers.
“Nope.”
Jungkook flushes as he thinks back on all their interactions and every little note he got with a new light shining on them.
“Shit.” He mumbles.
Jimin muffles his laugh.
“I don’t want him to flirt with me.”
Irritation sets in as he slowly tries to understand what’s been happening.
Jimin still tries not to laugh out loud in the silence of the library, “Tell him then.”.
“What should I say?” Jungkook retorts.
“That you are not interested.” Jimin shrugs, a smile on his face, “Or maybe you can wait and see if he asks you out, then just say no. Till now he just wrote you these notes?”.
Jungkook nods thinking back.
“I still want the notes though.” Jungkook says tilting his head, “But nothing else.”.
He kind of likes them.
Got used to the small messages even though he had been confused at the beginning. Rightfully so as he know realises.
“That’s not how it works.” Jimin answers him.
Jungkook doesn’t pay his words any mind, he just has to check again, “You sure they don’t write a note to everyone?”.
“Yeah, Jungkook, I am sure.”