Chapter Text
It was chilly outside, cool enough that frost had slowly started to creep up the outside layer of the windows. The wind rattled outside, loud and fierce. It was clear a winter storm was blowing in, a surprise attack from mother nature herself.
If Quackity believed the universe looked out for people, he would assume mother nature has a vendetta against him.
It was just poor timing, but none-the-less. He sighed to himself, shutting his book, realizing he had been sitting on the same page for… prime knows how long, not processing a word before him.
It was midday, and he had been relieved of his duties for a bit. He often used his free time to then just hang out with Sapnap, instead of working for him. But today he forced himself to retreat to his room, forced a smile that hopefully looked real, forced his legs to carry his body to his room, forced the tears to stay at bay.
He was being childish, that’s what he’d tell himself at night. Staring at his reflection before bed, trying to convince himself if he pushed down the feelings for long enough then he’d eventually lose them.
He started doing this nightly routine at age thirteen, coconing himself in his wings, as if he could hide from his own harsh words. He was nearly twenty two now, and his harsh words had no effect on him anymore. Whether that was a good thing or a bad thing depended on who was asked.
A knock on his door broke him from his self pitying thoughts, and he left the warmth of his chair to walk over, wincing as the blood rushed down his legs again. Was it time for him to return already? Or maybe George needed him for something.
He opened the door, tired and obviously fake smile on his face, before he froze. Not exactly what he expected.
Karl smiled in at him, standing a few inches over the top of his head, arms crossed politely behind his back. Quackity faltered for a moment— he liked Karl, who doesn’t? But he was not expecting to see him at his bedroom door.
“Ah— Prince Karl,” He ducked his head, a sign of respect, wings closing in on his back, “What can I do for you?”
His nose had wrinkled at the title, and he chuckled softly, “You know you don’t have to use the honorifics, right?”
“I— you’re a prince, and—”
“Sapnap is too,” His voice was light, teasing, “And you don’t address him as such unless others are around.”
That was… true. But he had grown up with Sapnap, the two had known each other for over a decade. He knew Karl decently well, but the two weren’t exactly best friends. It felt disrespectful to address him without the title.
He swallowed hard, “Right. Uh— what can I do for you?”
“Right!” His eyes lit up, hands coming forward, clasped together in front of him, “Sapnap had to go with his dad to do some boring, legal stuff, and I was wondering if you wanted to hang out with me!”
“Hang… out with you?”
He saw the falter in Karl’s stance, eyes dimming for a moment, before he smiled, cheerful and all teeth and too big to be real, “You don’t have to, obviously. If you’re busy or merely want to relax, it was just an offer I—”
“No, no!” He cut him off, shaking his head, “It’s fine I was just… surprised.”
His head tilted, and for a moment Quackity was reminded of a confused puppy, “Why were you surprised?”
“Well I mean… you’re a prince and I’m—”
“My fiance’s best friend,” He smiled, voice filled with nothing but happiness and goodness and enough sweetness to give Quackity a toothache, “And I’d like to add you to my list of best friends as well.”
Quackity couldn’t help but chuckle at that last statement, trying to hide it behind his fist, “List of best friends?”
“Well,” He rolled his eyes playfully, “I have too much love in my heart to keep for one person specifically.”
“Touche,” He smiled softly, “Alright. What did you want to do?”
“I… hm,” Karl stopped, a wondering look crossing his face, eyebrows furrowing as if in deep thought, “I’m not sure.”
Stepping out into the hall, Quackity shut the door behind him softly, “We could go to the garden?” The windows in the hall rattled with a strong gust of wind, “Okay, nevermind.”
“I’d rather you not get swept up and blown away,” Karl jokes, motioning to his wings playfully, and in response Quackity flared them out, a weak breeze blowing Karl’s curls from his forehead.
Rolling his eyes, he tucked them back against his body, shifting on his feet, “We could… go to the library?”
Karl wrinkled his nose, “I think I spend most of my free time there anyways.”
“That’s what you get for being a nerd,” Quackity felt the end of the sentence die in his throat, he could joke like this with Sapnap, and he had started to brush those boundaries with Karl, but he wasn’t sure where the line was drawn.
Luckily, he just laughed, shrugging, “Guilty as charged. Why don’t we just wander the castle?”
“Alright,” He squinted briefly, “I’ll lead the way.”
He stepped forward, Karl following, taking smaller steps to make sure the pair were walking in sync, “This is your home, I doubt I’d be able to show you around.”
“It’ll be your home too,” He spoke quietly, smiling softly at the taller man, and the pain in his chest had lessened to a dull ache.
He liked Karl, wholly and truly. It was hard not to, he wanted to hate him when he had first learned of his and Sapnap’s betrothal, jealousy and insecurities mixing together. But then he had met the Prince, and he witnessed how easily the two clicked together, and was met with the kindness of Karl’s open heart.
Quackity stared awkwardly, the figure before him unnoticing of his one person audience. He cleared his throat, watching semi-amused as the taller man jumped, turning quickly on his heel. Quackity raised an eyebrow curiously at him, wings twitching behind him.
“Can I help you?”
“Ah!” The stranger smiled sheepishly, “I uh— think I’ve found myself lost.”
Quackity chuckled, “Big castle.”
“Quite,” He kicked his toe into the ground almost abashedly, “Honestly I saw the gardens from the window and wanted to get closer but I… lost my way in the halls.”
“Well if you’re trying to go outside you’re on the entire wrong side of the castle,” He motioned for the man to follow him, watching as he scurried after him quickly, almost like a puppy.
“What?”
“Confusing layout,” He shrugged, “But I’m not the architect. If I was this place would actually make sense ,” The stranger laughed, and Quackity found his gaze lingering on his face for a moment longer, he had quite a nice laugh, contagious.
“I spend most of my freetime in the garden,” He found himself rambling, “I’m not a gardener, I kill almost every plant I try and take care of. But it’s peaceful.”
He nodded, “Makes sense. We have a garden back at my home, but the flowers don’t bloom as beautifully as they do here.”
Quackity found himself almost beaming at that sentence, though he didn’t take care of the garden it was still his safe place, his haven, “We have a lot of flowers that grow here, what with our like… dry heat and such.”
“Do you have a favorite one?”
“Flower?”
He nodded, curls bouncing around his face, “I like carnations and tulips.”
Quackity hummed, “I like beardtongues, but I also like pyromanias.”
“That sounds… oddly close to pyromaniac.”
He found himself laughing at that, “That’s due to the color, I think. They looked like fire, which is why I like them.”
“Cause you like fire?”
“In a way,” He grinned, “My best friend’s a blaze hybrid. They remind me of him.”
“Really?” The man sounded surprised, looking at Quackity with wide eyes, but he remained oblivious of the look.
“Mhm,” He grinned, “He thinks it’s cheesy.”
“Who's… your best friend?”
“None other than the crowned Prince Sapnap,” He used to tease him with that title when they were younger, delighted with the red cheeks and pink ears, flushing with embarrassment, “I’m his gentleman-in-waiting, really. But also his best friend.”
The man stopped walking, almost tripping over himself. Quackity paused, looking at him curiously, unsure why he was subjected to the look of pure excitement all of a sudden.
“ You’re Quackity?”
“Uh,” He puffed out his cheeks, “Depends on who’s asking.”
“I’m—”
“Karl!” The pair turned, a beaming and slightly disheveled Sapnap rushing towards them, no doubt having just escaped training with Dream, “There you are! And Quackity!”
Normally Quackity would jump on teasing him about no doubt running away from Dream, but he couldn’t think of that. His gaze snapped back to the brunette before him, a matching grin on his face as Sapnap grew closer.
“You’re—” He turned his attention back to the shorter man, a sheepish look making its way back to his features, “Prince Karl.”
“I’d prefer just Karl,” He rubbed the back of his neck, “But yeah.”
“Oh— I— shit,” He took a step backwards, feeling his heartbeat quicken, “Sorry, I’m—”
“Woah dude,” Sapnap put a steading hand on his shoulder, the warmth comforting, “It’s alright. Karl’s really chill.”
Karl looked mildly concerned, “Yeah! I was planning on meeting you today anyways, guess we just sped up the process!”
“I— I’m sorry if I came off as disrespectful, or anything—”
“You didn’t,” He smiled, soft and so fucking good , “I enjoyed just kind of… not being treated like I’m a god for a moment.”
He had retreated quickly, fighting off tears as he witnessed how in love the two were. They invited him to hang out with them, and they made him feel included, they spoke with him instead of over him, Karl asked him questions, doing his best to get to know him.
It was all too much.
He had spent nights making up scenarios of what Karl was like. A tyrant who only wanted to marry Sapnap to gain access to their large army. A dictator who wanted Sapnap’s hand to have control over their money. An oppressor who had nefarious plans and only hatred in his heart.
Instead Karl was sweet, he was pure. He held back on swearing but when he got mad at his novels or his paintings for not turning out how he wanted them too he had a mouth worse than Quackity and Sapnap combined. He was good with children and ventured out often to meet with the townspeople, helping with their orphanages and food drives.
Karl was perfect , and he was perfect for Sapnap.
And wasn’t that just the issue?
“Yeah,” Karl agreed, and for a moment Quackity forgot the topic of their conversation, “It’ll be your home too,” .
“Do you… miss your castle? Your kingdom?”
He hadn’t visited Kinoko Kingdom before, not out of the inability to do so. Sapnap and Karl went there every so often to visit his family, see the people. They had invited Quackity each time, and each time he had an excuse ready.
“George needs my help with some type of hiring garbage,” An eye roll, hopefully hiding the pain he felt, “Prime knows what he’d do without me.”
“I was planning on visiting my grandma this weekend,” A sheepish look, “She’s been writing to me about it, and I figured I’d be free.”
“I’m not feeling very well, I don’t think traveling would be good for the stomach.” Nor would seeing the perfect couple act so… perfect together.
His excuses were becoming weaker.
Karl hummed, “I do. And Sapnap and I actually had talked about where we would stay once we’ve gotten… everything in the relationship sorted. But it’s easier to stay here, and I trust Tina to run Kinoko better than I ever could.”
Quackity found himself nodding, “That makes sense.”
The two fell into silence, a comfortable silence. That was another issue with Karl— he always made you feel comfortable around him. How rude of him.
“Is—”
“I needed to—”
They spoke at the same time, pausing before both bursting into barely contained laughter. It wasn’t even that funny, truly, but the look of surprise on their faces was comical to each other, and Karl’s laugh was far too contagious for his own good.
“You first,” Karl motioned to him, trying to smother any remaining giggles.
“Is your family going to be arriving before the wedding?”
He sighed, the laughter gone, “Well… sort of. Tina’s been writing to me, there’s something Sapnap and I’ve been putting off, and we want to clear it all up before the wedding. Our hands are kind of being forced as she’s threatening to either not come at all or show up in surprise to take care of it herself.”
Quackity frowned. That sounded vaguely… ominous.
“Is everything alright with the two of you?” Karl hummed, looking over at him, “You and Sapnap, that is.”
“Oh, yes, everything’s fine, perfect really. Just…” His pinks turned pink, and his gaze suddenly turned to focus on the windows, watching as gray clouds rolled in slowly, “It’s nothing really.”
“Alright… well,” He raised a brow, but decided not to push further, “I hope it all… works out I guess?”
Karl laughed, “You and me both, Quackity.”
He turned back, and the gaze on his face was soft, vulnerable. Quackity found himself looking away, clearing his throat awkwardly.
“Anyways,” He started walking again, Karl trailing a step or so behind him, “Was there anything else you wanted to do?”
Karl hummed, a low note in the base of his throat, “Not really. I just wanted to spend time with you.”
“I,” He shut his mouth with an audible clack, wings twitching with embarrassment behind him, and he hated that he could never truly hide his emotions, “Thanks.”
He quickened his pace, gently brushing his shoulder against Quackity’s, smiling playfully, “Now, onto my question.”
Karl looked almost nervous, eyes fluttering about as they walked, and for once, Quackity found himself on edge around him. Had he learned of Quackity’s crush? He tried to hide it— he had to remind himself day in and day out he couldn’t allow himself to just stare at Sapnap anymore, he was a Prince, first of all, secondly, he was an engaged Prince.
“Would you—”
“Quackity!” His question was cut off, and he looked frustrated, but remained quiet as they turned, seeing Dream jog over, holding a letter, “There you are. This came in the mail for you.”
He handed the letter over, and he turned it in his hand, seeing the familiar emblem on the seal. Karl peered over his shoulder at the letter.
“Prince Karl,” Dream nodded to him, before turning his attention back to Quackity, “Is it from them?”
“Appears so,” Quackity carefully opened the letter, oblivious to the anxious look growing on Karl’s face.
“What’s it say?”
Huffing, Quackity glared at the blonde, “Can you let me read it first?”
Dream held his hands up in faux surrender, leaning on one side, arms crossing over his chest.
“Who’s the letter from?”
“Hm?” He tore his eyes up, meeting the almost purple eyes of Karl, “The Craft family.”
“The Craft— The Craft family?”
“Mhm,” He skimmed the letter quickly, “I’m friends with the uh, second kid, Wilbur.”
Dream rolled his eyes, “Your friends with that entire family .”
Quackity flared his wings in response, not taking his eyes off of the letter before him, “Family of avians.”
“What did you write them about?”
Right— he hadn’t told anyone of his letter to King Philza, or his conversations with Wilbur and Technoblade, or the offer they had presented him with.
“Uh,” He folded the letter, “So,” He glanced at Karl, he needed to tell him— needed to tell Sapnap, more importantly, “I’ll tell you later.”
“Secrets?” Dream whined, arms dropping from where they were crossed over his chest, “That’s just rude.”
“Fuck off,” Quackity rolled his eyes, playfully shoo’ing him off.
He grumbled, sticking his tongue out childishly, “You’re lucky you're the Princes’ favorite.”
His cheeks heated up, and he glared at Dream’s back as he sauntered away, still grumbling to himself.
“Is it… something bad?”
“Not necessarily,” He hesitated as he spoke, “Just figured it’s best if I talk to you and Sapnap about it.”
“Talk to us about what?”
“You are impeccable with timing,” Karl had jumped, surprised at his fiance’s sudden appearance, lightly elbowing him in the ribs.
“Ow, rude.” He rubbed the spot playfully, smiling over at Quackity.
His smile was kind, it was playful and wild and free and it burned . The pair were so kind to him, so respectful and just overall amazing. It stung, like a shallow cut that never truly healed. He tapped the letter nervously, and Sapnap seemed to pick up on that.
Of course he did— Quackity and Sapnap knew each other better than the backs of their hands, and Quackity and Karl had slowly gotten to that point. If not for how often Sapnap gushed to Quackity about him, from the amount of time the three of them spent together.
“What’s wrong?”
He laughed nervously, “Uh. So you two are getting married.”
“Uh, yes?” Sapnap’s statement came out as more of a question than a confident answer.
“And a few weeks ago Dream, George, and I were talking,” Sapnap tensed, and Karl placed a hand on his bicep, and he melted almost instantly at the touch.
It felt so intimate to see, almost personal. The pair didn’t seem aware of any boundaries between them and Quackity, or perhaps the boundaries weren’t there entirely. He was Sapnap’s gentleman-in-waiting, he was supposed to have grown used to this.
He could get used to the actions, he just couldn’t get used to the pain.
“Dream had said that since Karl will be moving in here, and Tina will be renovating Kinoko a bit, changes would happen. And some people would be let go, some people redirected, jobs switching, promotions.” He licked his lips, “And I figured Karl would be bringing some like… personal workers with him. And Wilbur had written to me about needing help in their kingdom, as he’s planning on traveling and trying to strengthen the Antarctic Empire.”
“What… are you saying, Quackity?”
He sighed, time to rip the bandaid off. For himself or them, he wasn’t sure.
“Wilbur had said I would be extremely helpful to have when he makes his way out,” He looked down, missing the pain that washed over Sapnap’s face, the dread that crept onto Karl’s, “And he basically offered me a position to work with him.”
“You— I— what?”
He looked up, hands lifting slightly, as if he was slowly surrendering, “I just figured with all the shifting in positions, and the new people coming in, and Karl moving in entirely, it’d be more comfortable if you two had his gentlemen or ladies-in-waiting here. And I mean, there’s only but so much else I can do. I figured it’d be easier to—”
“Easier for who ?” Sapnap’s voice was tense, tight like a wound bow string, “For you?”
“For— for everyone?” His voice lacked confidence, “It’s nothing set in stone,” He glanced at the letter with a frown, “King Philza said I needed to sleep on it. To give it time before I rush into a decision. But their castle’s open to me if,” He put air quotes around the next bit, “If everything doesn’t go the way it appears to.”
Sapnap scoffed, cheeks red with anger, so different from the gentle pink of embarrassment or flushed look from laughter. Quackity felt his heart beat painfully in his chest— it was for the best, it had to be for the best. Watching Sapnap and Karl be so in love was as beautiful as a flame, it was warm and welcoming, gorgeous to watch, an ember that sent warmth into your bones. But it burned him, almost like he was too close to the flame.
So watching them get married would scar him, and witnessing their happy life would kill him.
It may be selfish, but he wanted to preserve whatever feelings he may have left.
“So you were just planning on leaving?” His voice was terse, “Leaving us? Leaving me?”
That was unfair, and he knew that.
“I’d still visit, and write to you,” He tried convincing them as well as himself, “I wouldn’t just shut you out.”
“Did we do something?” Karl’s voice was far softer, the gentle storm to Sapnap’s fierce winds of anger, “Are you uncomfortable with someone from my kingdom? Because we can—”
“No, no!” He shook his head— why were they making this so difficult? Sapnap had allowed other members of the castle and the court to shift positions freely, and while he had sulked when Tubbo went to work in the Antartic Empire, he had allowed it.
“I just,” Am in love with Sapnap and watching the two of you be so in love is killing me , “Think it would be easier in the long run,” Easier to not watch the two people I’m in love with remain so oblivious to my affections.
Two people. Oh prime, even more reason to leave.
Luckily, they remained oblivious to his internal realization, his internal panic.
“I,” Sapnap huffed, bitterly, hurt clouding his eyes, “Why didn’t you talk to me about this?”
“I didn’t realize it would be this big of an issue,” I didn’t know how to get you alone without breaking down, or confessing, or both.
“Quackity, you’re my best friend, I— we—” He cut himself off, shutting his jaw almost angrily, turning his gaze away, “I need to… sit on this.”
“I— I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you, either of you,” His stroll with Karl had been so calm, so peaceful, leave it to him to ruin it.
“No you,” Karl sounded choked up, but he smiled softly none-the-less, always so considerate of others’ feelings, “You didn’t do anything wrong, Quackity. You never could.”
He scoffed, it didn’t feel like it.
“I’m going to our room,” Sapnap still sounded upset, refusing to look up and meet Quackity’s gaze, “We’ll… talk about this later.”
He opened his mouth to respond, but found no words coming out. What was he going to say? Tell him not to leave? Tell him to just let him go? Instead he found himself nodding, tilting his head to look at the ground. Sapnap spared him one glance, the anger dissipating to pain, hurt clear in his eyes. Karl squeezed his hand gently, trying to support him despite the ache in his chest as well.
Just as before, Karl and Quackity found themselves alone. Snow had begun to fall outside, and despite the warmth of the fireplaces and lanterns lining the castle, Quackity felt cold, a chill a throw blanket wouldn’t fix. They remained silent, Karl studying Quackity with… some unknown emotion in his eyes.
“I’ll see myself to my room,” He refused to look up, bowing slightly as he walked off, feeling the familiar headache that comes from holding back tears build up.
This wasn’t fair , nothing about this was fair.
Why couldn’t he have been born to nobility? Or purer blood? Sure, marriages between a royal and a commoner weren’t impossible, that’s how Karl’s grandparents had met. But Quackity was a gentleman-in-waiting, he was required to be by Sapnap’s side, out of duty, not because Sapnap wanted him. They were friends, best friends. He had called Quackity his almost brother when they were younger, and the sting of that comment hadn’t set in till years later.
Sapnap and Karl were too good for him, too pure, too important, too perfect for each other. It wasn’t their fault Quackity had found himself head over heels for them, suffering in silence. He played himself, he truly did. He still allowed his looks to linger, still allowed him to hope that one day they’d confess to him, his daydreams had taken a turn for the worst, in a way.
He was terrified he’d suffer in silence, but he found a way out. Sure it would hurt to leave the pair entirely, and eventually, he would have cut them off. He’d have to, to save his heart, save himself. If he ignored them, ignored the emotions, they’d leave. They’d move on from him, befriend anyone else— they were too charismatic to not do so. He’d be able to move on and heal, or at least heal.
It wasn’t their fault he was in love with them, but it also was. It was Quackity’s job to stay to the side, however, and it was his job to protect his heart, no matter how much it hurt in the process.