Chapter Text
Louis leaned heavily against the door of his flat as he closed it shut behind himself and dropped his travelling bag and backpack on the floor by his feet. He should have really looked for a flat on the ground floor, not the third, when he had moved in two years ago. Too late now, he thought as he pushed himself off of the door and toed of his shoes. He shrugged off his jacket and dropped it on the floor next to the bags. Not like anyone would tell him to pick it up, the flat was empty as usual.
“Hello?“ He called into the silence just to make sure, but as he had thought, there was no reply. His roommate Zayn was basically living with his boyfriend Liam at this point. Louis barely saw him at home anymore, not that he was complaining. It was nice to have the apartment to himself, especially when he had still been dating Harry.
Harry.
He shook his head to rid himself of the thoughts and walked further into the apartment, falling down on the couch and sighing as he leaned his head back against the backrest. He couldn’t stop his thoughts from circling back to Harry though.
Harry had basically lived with him in the end. They had even planned for him to move in, as soon as Zayn would have finally officially moved out of the flat, and in with Liam. But now, Louis let his eyes roam around the apartment, now there was no trace left of Harry anywhere. On the table, where his school books used to lay, were just dirty plates now, by the door, where his shoes used to stand, were just Louis’ and a few of Zayn’s left. Louis glanced back to the front door where his jacket was still on the ground and his shoes in the way. He could hear Harry’s voice in his head “Lou, come on, it’s not that hard to hang up the jacket. And someone is going to trip over your shoes one day and break something.“
The corner of Louis’ mouth twitched at the memory, he couldn’t count how many times Harry had tried to tell him to hang up his jacket or to put his shoes away and then just ended up doing it himself, when Louis had made no effort to move. He frowned when he noticed that he had started smiling and fisted his hands. No. No more memories, no more thinking of Harry. They were over, they had broken up and he could leave his jacket on the ground whenever he felt like it.
He continued sitting on the couch in silence, he hadn’t really been home that much recently, being busy with Uni and work and spending the week of his birthday and Christmas with his family. He might have stayed busy on purpose. They only broke up a month ago and when Louis had come home from work one day, all of Harry’s stuff had been gone from the flat. Louis had really felt the finality of the breakup at that moment, the emptiness and loneliness. He gulped at the memory, at the emotion he was still feeling now. He wondered how long it would take to go away, to forget.
He grabbed a pillow and muffled a scream into it, releasing some emotions. That always helped, he thought as he lowered the pillow again. Whenever he felt too overcome by emotions and sadness and like he might cry. Too many feelings, he needed to get his mind off of things, keep himself busy.
It wasn’t hard to take his mind off of Harry this past week. He was visiting his family back home for Christmas and his birthday, which happened to fall on the same day. All of his siblings kept him busy that week and he barely had a minute to himself. As much as he loved them, he was happy to be home and relax for a bit, to have the apartment to himself. A week was all he could take of them all at a time, before he needed some distance.
His thoughts were interrupted when his phone started buzzing in his jeans pocket. He knew who it was before he pulled it out to look at the screen. It was Liam, again. Louis groaned and tossed his phone to the couch. It was the third time in the last hour he was calling him and Louis knew why. He just chose to ignore it.
His phone buzzed with a text message a minute later.
Answer your phone Louis!!
Louis rolled his eyes, his best friend could really be persistent. He got up and went to the kitchen to get himself a glass of water, the phone in his hand vibrating with a call again.
“Oh come on Liam, give up already.“ He muttered to himself as he ignored the phone call. He filled a glass with water and downed it in one go. Another text message came in.
Louis you better answer or I come over there myself I swear to God.
Louis huffed out a disbelieving laugh, Liam should really be nicer to him, considering he wouldn’t have met Zayn if it wasn’t for him. He was the one who had moved into this apartment and introduced the two after all.
His phone buzzed with an incoming call for the third time in a row and Louis groaned loudly, rolling his eyes as he finally accepted the call.
“What can I do for you Liam?“ He answered.
“Louis! Finally!“ Liam sounded surprised, he was probably already putting on his shoes to come over. “Why didn’t you answer before?“
“Just got home, didn’t see the calls.“ Louis lied.
“Hm, okay.“ Liam didn’t sound convinced.
“So what is this about then?“ He asked even though he knew the answer already.
“Niall said you’re not coming to the cabin with us?“ Liam asked sounding upset.
Louis pinched the bridge of his nose “No Liam, I am not coming.“
“Why not? We all booked this together, we were looking forward to this trip for months!“
Louis screwed his eyes shut. Yes, they had all booked it together and he was really looking forward to it, that was until him and Harry broke up. Niall had told him that Harry was still going, so Louis immediately said that he wouldn’t. No need to ruin a perfect vacation for the both of them.
“Because, Liam, I can think of better things than spending a week in a secluded cabin in the mountains with my ex boyfriend.“ He said annoyed. He really thought that his best friend would understand that without having to tell him.
“Oh come on. We will all be there as well. Niall is really upset that you’re not going and so is Zayn. And it just won’t be the same without you, Louis.“
“Liam, we booked this trip as a couple’s trip. It will be you and Zayn and Niall and Anne-Marie. And when you are all together cuddling or whatever, I don’t want to sit there next to Harry awkwardly.“
“It won’t be like that I promise! Come on, who knows when we can do this again all of us together. It will be so much fun, I just want to go on a trip with my best friend. If you don’t go, I won’t go either.“
Louis rolled his eyes, that was a lie and he knew it. If Liam didn’t go, Zayn wouldn’t go either and Liam wouldn’t mess that up for him, they had all been looking forward to this.
The truth was, it had been Louis’ and Liam’s idea at first and they were looking forward to this so much, making plans on what to do there, picking out the best cabin for them all, planning on who should bring what. Louis bit his lip, he really would like to go, he remembered that the cabin had a whirlpool outside on the terrace, he had picked it out especially for that.
He sighed, he guessed him and Harry could be civil for a week around each other, even though they hadn’t spoked one word to the other since the breakup. It would be the first time he’d see him again, too. Apart from a few times, when he caught sight of him at Uni, but he always made sure to walk the other way, so Harry wouldn’t see him or they would run into each other. He even went so far as to change his coffee shop. He wasn’t a big coffee drinker anyways, he much preferred tea. But when Harry started Uni there last year and started working at the coffee shop, Louis suddenly liked coffee so much, that he went every day, sometimes even multiple times, just to see the beautiful boy with the curls and rosy lips. He caught himself smiling at the memory and quickly shook his head, frowning.
He sighed loudly “Okay, yeah.“ He mumbled.
“Yes?“ Liam sounded enthusiastic but surprised “You will come?“
“Yes I will come.“ Louis said with a smirk and eye roll.
“You won’t regret it Louis! It will be the best trip, I promise you.“ Liam said excitedly.
Louis really hoped he wouldn’t end up regretting his decision “You better bring enough alcohol, I’m not sure I’ll be able to face Harry without.“
Liam chuckled “Don’t worry, we’re going shopping tomorrow and then we’ll come and sleep at Zayn’s and yours so we can leave early on Friday.“
“Early?“ Louis asked “How early exactly is early?“
“Not too early, don’t worry, we’ll leave by nine.“
“Well nine is too early in my world Payno.“
“It takes us four hours to drive there, if we won’t hit traffic and we get the keys at one, so we have to leave by nine.“
“I’m regretting my decision to come already.“ Louis mumbled and then after a beat “Um who exactly will be going in the car with us?“
“Don’t worry, Harry is driving himself and Niall and Anne-Marie will go with him.“
Louis let out a relieved exhale “Okay good, l’ll see you tomorrow then.“
“See you tomorrow Louis, I can’t wait, it’s gonna be epic.“ He said before hanging up the phone.
Louis leaned against the counter, biting his lip, he really hoped he wouldn’t regret this decision. He suddenly remembered with a start, that there were only three bedrooms in the cabin, for the three couples.
“Shit!“ He exclaimed, already raising his phone to call Liam again, to tell him he wouldn’t be going after all. But then he remembered from the pictures, that there was a comfortable looking couch in the living room of the cabin. He slowly lowered the phone again, shrugging to himself. Not really what he had planned for, but he could sleep on the couch for a week, there were worse things. Like sharing a bedroom, or even worse, a bed with your ex. He huffed out a laugh as he looked in the fridge for something to eat, now that would be the worst situation, he thought to himself.
*
On Friday morning Louis was sitting in the backseat of Liam’s car, next to him bags and groceries, in front of him a sleepy Zayn on the passenger seat and an overly excited Liam in the driver’s seat. Zayn hadn’t been too happy about leaving so early in the morning either, but Liam had promised him that he could sleep during the entire drive.
“This will be so much fun, I cannot wait! And it’s supposed to snow tomorrow, it will be so nice to sit by the fireplace or to go in the whirlpool…“
Liam kept talking and Louis smiled at his enthusiasm as he glanced out the window. Harry would be there, he swallowed. In about four hours he would see Harry for the first time again, probably even talk to him, since they broke up. He licked his lips, well since he broke up with him, if he was being honest.
He remembered the evening like it was yesterday. They had been curled up on the couch in a blanket, snacking on popcorn that Harry had made for them and watching a movie.
“Aw Lou look, that baby is so cute, I bet ours will be even cuter than him.” Harry had said and smiled, cuddling closer into Louis’ side.
Louis had frozen in his movement of bringing a piece of popcorn to his mouth and gulped. That was not the first time Harry had made a comment like that. Actually they had become more and more frequent over the past few weeks. A “I want to wear a white suit when we get married Lou.“ here and a “I can’t wait to spend lazy Sundays with our kids.“ there. The comments came more and more often and every time it made Louis feel things. Not good things, it made his heart race, his throat tighten uncomfortably and his stomach churn.
The thing was, Louis wasn’t ready for these things. He had just been about to turn 23 years old and he wasn’t even done with Uni yet. He wanted to live his life, travel, find a job he liked and just have fun. He wasn’t ready for kids or marriage, he wasn’t even sure if he wanted to get married at all. The way Harry kept pushing the subject, even though he must have noticed that Louis never replied, annoyed him. Louis was sure that Harry was doing it on purpose to get a reaction from him, but Louis didn’t know how to react. He didn’t know how to tell his boyfriend of one year, that he didn’t want the same things as him, that he wasn’t ready for kids, that he still felt like a kid himself, that he wasn’t ready for marriage either and that he didn’t even know if he wanted to get married at all. That the thoughts alone were freaking him out.
So he did the only thing he knew how to do, he pushed Harry away. He told him that he needed space, that everything was just too much at the moment, Uni and his job and that he didn’t have time for a relationship. That was a lie obviously, Uni really wasn’t too stressful and he only worked three afternoons a week and really Harry had made everything so much easier. He had cooked for Louis all the time, cleaned up the flat when he was home before him and even helped him study. Harry had known all those things too obviously. Louis would never forget the way he yelled at him, tears running down his cheeks while Louis had welled up himself.
“That’s bullshit Louis and you know it! Why won’t you tell me the truth? What is going on?“ He had been pleading with him, trying to reach for his hand but Louis had gotten up off the couch to get more distance between them.
“Please don’t make this harder than it already is.“ He had whispered, not looking at Harry. He was sure he would break if he did.
There had been silence for a long time, only interrupted by Harry’s sniffles from time to time “You are really breaking up with me?“ He had finally asked quietly after a moment.
Louis had screwed his eyes shut and nodded, still not looking up at Harry.
He had heard Harry’s shaky exhale before he had gotten up off the couch as well. He had stopped in front of Louis for a moment, but when Louis had continued staring at the floor, he had walked past him. He could hear him collecting his things and putting on his shoes and jacket. The front door was opened but he didn’t hear Harry walk through it for a long time.
“Lou.“ He had tried one last time with a shaky voice but Louis had stood rooted in place frowning and not looking up. He had heard Harry walk out then and the door closing behind him shortly after.
Finally, Louis had let out a shaky exhale himself and had let the tears fall down his cheeks freely. He had possibly just made the worst decision of his life.
Harry had tried calling him for the next three days and had sent Louis texts, begging him to talk to him. Louis hadn’t responded to a single one, he couldn’t. He wasn’t sure he would make it, if he saw Harry again and that wouldn’t help either of them. Harry deserved to find a boy who wanted to have kids and who was ready to propose to him. Not some indecisive boy, who didn’t even know what he wanted himself yet.
When Louis had entered his apartment three days later after work, all of Harry’s things were gone. Zayn must have given him a key. Harry never tried to get in touch with him again since that day.
Louis blinked as the memories came flooding in. Liam was still talking excitedly in the front, not noticing the inner turmoil Louis was going through at the moment. Zayn’s head lolled to the side in the seat in front of him and he snored softly. Good idea, Louis thought, he would just sleep the memories away. He pulled up the hood of his sweatshirt and leaned his head against the window closing his eyes. But all he saw were green eyes and curly hair.
*
“We’re here!“
Liam’s loud voice echoed through the car and made Louis’ and Zayn’s heads jerk up from where they were sleeping. Louis blinked his eyes open slowly and yawned, while Liam got out of the car and opened the trunk to get the bags out. Louis opened his door and got out as well, stretching his arms over his head and enjoying cracking his back. When he opened his eyes again, Zayn was standing across from him lighting a cigarette.
“Oh can I have one too?“ Louis asked excitedly and Zayn was just reaching for the cigarette package, when Liam’s head popped out from the back of the car “Come on Louis, you can smoke later, help me bring the bags inside first.“
Louis looked at Zayn before turning to Liam “And what about Zayn?“ Louis asked pointing at him “Why can he smoke? Why doesn’t he have to help?“ He looked back at Zayn who simply smirked at him in response.
“He’s already smoking, he’ll help later, come on.“ Liam said, already handing two heavy bags to Louis.
“Unbelievable.“ Louis grumbled and shot a still smirking Zayn a glare, before walking around the car and towards the house. His step faltered for a moment when he saw Harry’s car parked in front of it already and his heart actually skipped a beat. So this was real, this was actually happening then. He gulped as he slowly followed Liam up the few steps to their cabin and to the door, which he pushed open.
“Hello! We’re here!“ Liam called into the house. Louis took one last deep breath before he stepped inside as well.
He spotted Harry immediately, it wasn’t hard, since he was standing with Niall at the far window in the living room.
Okay, just stay cool, he told himself, even though the nervousness was running through his body, making him feel tingly.
“Oi lads!“ He called as a greeting and what happened then he did not see coming. He expected Harry to frown or snarl at him, to even completely ignore him. But instead his head whipped around so quickly that Louis was afraid he’d break his neck. His eyes went wide and he looked shocked to see Louis there.
“What the fuck is he doing here?“ He asked still looking at him, before he turned back to look at Niall for an answer.
Niall’s mouth fell open and he looked at him with wide eyes „He um changed his mind?“
Harry stared at Niall for a few seconds in silence, before grabbing a bag and walking towards a bedroom without looking at anyone else, slamming the door shut behind himself.
Liam flinched in front of Louis.
“Well I’m happy to see you too.“ Louis mumbled, some of the tension leaving his body. This wasn’t exactly how he thought their first meeting would go. It was quiet for a moment before Louis finally spoke up “Did you seriously not tell him I was coming?“
“Well it wasn’t certain, you kind of changed your mind last minute, so…“ Niall stuttered, scratching the back of his head.
Louis rolled his eyes and turned to Liam “We talked two days ago, you couldn’t have told him?“
“I forgot?“ Liam smiled sheepishly but that didn’t fool Louis. He narrowed his eyes at him and was just about to reply when Zayn walked inside and interrupted him.
“Why are we all standing around like this?“ He asked confused, looking at the three boys.
Nobody replied and Louis sighed, picking up his bag and walking over to the couch. He placed his bag on top of it, when Niall walked over to him.
“What are you doing?“ He asked carefully.
“What does it look like, Niall? I’m getting comfortable on my bed for the week.“
“That isn’t your bed.“ Niall simply stated.
“Yes it is, since Harry is obviously occupying the other one.“ He said gesturing at the door Harry had slammed just before “Unless there’s another room I don’t know about? An extra bed somewhere?“
“Um no there isn’t, it’s just that-“ Niall started but was interrupted by the bathroom door behind him opening and a man walking out, that Louis hadn’t seen before.
“Oh, hello!“ The unknown man sad, giving Zayn, Liam and Louis a friendly smile.
Zayn and Liam greeted him in return while Louis simply stared at him “Who is this then?“ he asked Niall.
“Oh that? That’s Lewis.“ Niall said as Lewis walked over to him shaking his hand “I know him from work.“
Louis looked between Lewis and Niall. “Where is Lewis sleeping, Niall?“ he asked calmly.
It was quiet, nobody dared to move in the room, so Louis repeated his question “Where is Lewis sleeping, Niall?“ He asked a little louder this time, voice sounding strained.
Lewis didn’t seem to know what was going on as he looked confused between Niall and Louis so he spoke up “I’m sleeping on the couch mate, Niall was so nice to invite me.“ He smiled at Louis.
Louis took a few steadying breaths through his nose, before finally turning around and storming out of the cabin. Niall and Liam calling after him but he ignored them, immediately lighting a cigarette once he was outside. It didn’t take long for Liam and Niall to join him.
He didn’t speak for a while, simply taking a few deep drags of his cigarette “So when exactly were you going to tell me, that there was another person joining us?“ He asked irritated.
“We didn’t know if you were coming.“ Liam started.
“Yes, and just in case we looked for another person to split the costs with.“ Niall finished.
Louis nodded with narrowed eyes as he took another long drag “He can share the bed with Harry.“ He concluded finally “I’ll take the couch.“
“What?“ Niall said immediately “He doesn’t even know Harry, they just met, they can’t share a bed! He’s a shy guy.“ He shook his head and Liam agreed shaking his head as well.
“Yeah no that would just be weird.“
“Weirder than two exes, who haven’t spoken in a month, sharing a bed?“ Louis asked sounding more and more irritated.
“Okay calm down.“ Liam said raising his hands “We can find a solution.“
“Oh yeah? And what solution would that be, Liam? Maybe Anne-Marie should share a bed with Harry, or no, you know what? Niall can sleep with Harry and I will share with Anne-Marie.“ He nodded with raised brows, he was angry, very angry.
The two boys were quiet for a moment, Louis ran a hand over his face. What had he gotten himself into coming here?
“I’m sorry.“ Liam finally said quietly.
“Yeah.“ Niall said looking guilty “Me too. But there’s really no other option, Louis. It’s the way we booked the cabin and there are no other beds.“
Louis lit another cigarette and took a deep drag “Good luck explaining that to Harry.” He said before he sank down on the steps.
“So you’re - you’re okay with it then?“
“What other choice do I have, Niall?“ He asked annoyed “It’s not like I can take a cab home or anything, I’m stuck here.“
“I’ll talk to him!“ Niall said quickly, already disappearing back inside the house.
Louis took another long drag as Liam sat down next to him “I really am sorry.“ He repeated himself.
Louis simply shrugged “It’s not your fault and Niall is right. We booked it this way. I shouldn’t have come, this was a mistake.“ He shook his head and took another long drag “I knew I would regret it.“
“No, no we can still have fun, come on. You’ll just be in there to sleep. You don’t even have to talk to him. Just go in, sleep and come back out in the morning, done.“
Louis nodded, if it were that easy. He was sure he wouldn’t get a minute of sleep this week “Yeah, so easy.“ He said quietly.
*
Niall found him thirty minutes later still sitting outside in the same spot by himself. Liam had wandered back inside at some point to help Zayn unpack and Louis decided it was best if he stayed outside and waited. He was trying to think of other options, he could maybe sleep on the floor, but why should he do that and not Harry? He had paid for that room just as much as Harry had. Then he wondered if it would be possible to sleep in the whirlpool but thought of how his skin would get all wrinkly and shivered. Then he thought, if he should just drive Liam’s car home and pick them up again in a week. But then he remembered that he really didn’t feel like driving that distance and that Liam probably wouldn’t let him anyway.
He was just stress smoking his sixth cigarette, when the door opened and Niall sank down next to him a moment later, exhaling. “Well, he wasn’t happy.“
Louis huffed “I figured.“
“But he’s willing to do it if you are. He wants to establish some ground rules first though.“
Louis took a last drag and threw the stub on the ground “Well then I guess I better go talk to him.“ He was about to get up when Niall pulled him back down.
“He doesn’t…“ he sighed “He doesn’t exactly want to talk to you.“
“Then how are we going to set down the rules?“
“He told me.“
Of course he did, Louis sat back down “Alright, I’m listening.“
“No talking at any point, no touching whatsoever, no eye contact, not even glances and sleeping on the far opposite ends of the bed.“ He recited.
Louis shrugged “That was my plan anyways, can I bring my bags in now?“
Niall nodded “Yeah he’s done in the room now, you can go in.“
“Alright.“ Louis said, pretending to be unaffected by the situation.
He walked inside and over to the couch where he had left his bag. He could see Harry standing by the dining table out of the corner of his eye, laughing with Anne-Marie. It took all of him not to turn and stare as he heard Harry’s laughter. Not so long ago he had made him laugh like that. He could see Harry’s eyes curving in a smile and his rosy lips stretching widely over his teeth in his mind. He gulped and grabbed his bag, dropping a water bottle, that someone must have left on the couch, in the process. It was suddenly quiet at the table and Louis couldn’t help but turn to look and was met with Harry looking right back at him. The smile was gone from his face and replaced by a frown instead. Their gazes locked for a few seconds before Harry blinked and turned around, continuing his conversation with Anne-Marie.
Louis cleared his throat and grabbed his bag, walking over to the bedroom and closing the door behind himself. He shouldn’t have come, he knew this was a bad idea. He leaned against the door for a moment, closing his eyes and taking a few deep breaths. He could do this, he had no other choice. He pushed himself off of the door and walked further into the room. He stopped in front of the bed, it was a Queen size at least, and looked around the room. There were Harry’s things scattered around everywhere. His shoes were standing neatly next to the closet, a book was on the nightstand and there were nail polish bottles on the desk. Louis smiled at the memory of him trying to paint Harry’s nails and getting more polish on his fingers than the actual nails, but quickly changed his expression back to a frown, when he realised that he was smiling.
He dropped his bag heavily to the ground and sat down on his side of the bed, lying back and sighing loudly. He didn’t know how he would make it through this week.
*
After they all had unpacked and gotten settled, they had decided to cook an early dinner together. Louis had made sure to sit as far away from Harry as possible, which meant he was sitting at the end of the table, next to Liam with Zayn in the middle and Harry on the other end. Lewis, Niall and Anne-Marie were sitting across from them. This was a good seating arrangement, Louis thought to himself. They should keep this for the week, this way Harry and him couldn’t accidentally look at each other and wouldn’t really get involved in the same conversation either.
After dinner they quickly cleaned up, before getting comfortable in the living room on the couch and armchair. The couch could seat four people in total and the armchair one, but as Anne-Marie fell down on Niall’s lap, Louis figured it might be able to seat two after all. When Louis entered the living room from where he had just washed his hands in the bathroom, Lewis was already sitting on one end of the couch and Liam and Zayn were cuddled up on the other. There was one spot left in the middle, two if you were cuddled up like one of the couples maybe. Louis could hear noise coming from the kitchen, which meant Harry was still busy doing whatever in there and he was rooted in place. Should he take the last spot? He should probably just sit on the ground so Harry could sit on the couch, it was better for his back.
He frowned at his thoughts. No, why would he do that? It was not like Harry would save the spot for him and they weren’t even friends at the moment, so why should he care? He continued walking and fell down in the spot between Lewis and Zayn just as Harry entered the room. Louis immediately felt guilty as he saw Harry looking for a spot and frowning when he saw they were all occupied. He sat down on the carpet, leaning against the armrest of the couch on Liam’s end.
No, he shouldn’t feel guilty, he didn’t care about Harry being comfortable and it didn’t bother him at all that he had to sit on the ground right now when he knew how much he loved being cuddled close to Louis’ side on the couch, tucked in a blanket. Louis frowned and took a sip of his beer that Lewis had handed him and concentrated on the movie they had just picked out. They were all kind of tired from the drive up, so they decided to just relax for the night.
*
The movie was over and everyone was getting up, bringing their cups and glasses to the kitchen.
“Good night guys, see you tomorrow.“ Anne-Marie said as Niall walked up behind her and put his arm around her shoulders “Goodnight!“ He waved to the group and everyone said their goodnights to them in return.
Harry walked to the kitchen to bring his glass away as well and Louis saw him cross the hallway to walk to their shared bedroom a moment later, not that he was watching him or anything, he didn’t care. It was just that the cabin was very open, so he could see him easily, that was all. Louis couldn’t find it in himself to get up and go to their room. Maybe he could just stay up all night and watch movies, yeah that was a good idea, he was thinking to himself, just as Lewis cleared his throat in front of him. Louis’ head shot up to look at him with raised brows.
“Um if it’s okay with you, I’d like to make the bed.“ He said nervously and when Louis simply looked at him confused for a moment he continued “The couch, you’re kind of sitting on my bed, mate.“
“Oh!“ Louis said looking down at the couch. That’s right, Lewis was sleeping on the couch, because there weren’t any extra beds. “Right.“ He said, rubbing his hands over his thighs before slowly getting up “Sleep well then.“ He nodded at him before walking to the kitchen. Zayn was just walking out and patted his arm as he walked past him.
“Night Louis.“ He said and yawned in his hand.
“Night Zayn!“ Louis called after him. Liam was just throwing something away and Louis placed his glass into the sink, leaning against the counter “I can’t do it Liam.“ He said shaking his head.
Liam looked at him worried and leaned against the counter opposite him “What do you mean?“
“I can’t share a bed with Harry.“ He shout whispered, even though the door to their bedroom was closed.
Liam’s forehead creased as he looked at him worried and sighed “I know it’s a shitty situation and it’s not easy for either of you, but there’s really no other option here Louis.“ He said sounding apologetic.
Louis massaged his forehead, he could feel a headache coming on “I know.“ He sighed “Alright let’s just get to bed then.“ He added after a pause “Goodnight Liam.“ He said smiling and let out a surprised squeak when Liam suddenly enveloped him in a tight hug. It only lasted a few seconds but it made Louis smile.
Liam stepped back, looking at Louis with big puppy eyes, still holding on to his shoulders, squeezing once as he said “Goodnight Louis.“ He gave him another smile before walking out of the kitchen.
Louis sighed and leaned back against the counter, glancing around the kitchen. There wasn’t even anything to clean up. Not that he liked cleaning up or washing dishes, but right now he would really like to have something to do.
He watched the seconds tick by on the clock on the wall, willing time to go faster. When it still didn’t work after two minutes he rolled his eyes and slowly began walking towards the bedroom. Maybe if he was lucky, Harry was already asleep. The drive must have been exhausting for him, he was sure.
He slowly and quietly pushed the door open, tip toeing inside. There was a light still burning, but that didn’t mean anything, maybe he feel asleep with the light on, he reasoned. When Louis walked further into the room and the bed came in sight, his stomach sank immediately though.
Louis was in no luck, Harry was still very much awake, arranging a wall of pillows in the middle of the bed. He was frowning and didn’t take his eyes off of his work, even as Louis stepped closer and watched Harry work. Should he help him? Would that break the rules? Was he allowed to ask him if he should help? He wasn’t sure, so he simply stood there awkwardly, fiddling with the sleeves of his hoodie.
“Stop watching me.“ Harry suddenly said monotonously, still not taking his eyes off the pillows.
Louis actually flinched, he was so surprised at hearing him speak “Right.“ He replied dumbly and turned to the side, looking at the windows instead. He frowned at himself, what was he doing?
He crossed his arms and moved to his side of the bed, watching Harry “And you think the pillows will stay there all night?“ Louis asked sceptically. He figured since Harry broke the no talking rule first, all was fair.
Harry froze in his movement and clenched his fist in one of the pillows “You could just sleep on the floor, it would make this whole thing a lot easier.“ He said through gritted teeth without looking at him.
Louis huffed “Why should I sleep on the ground? I paid for this room as much as you did. Why don’t you sleep on the ground?“ He bit back.
Harry’s head snapped up as he shot him a death glare and Louis actually took a step back, gulping.
Louis quickly turned around and walked over to their en suite bathroom, closing the door behind himself and staring at himself in the mirror. This wouldn’t end well, he knew it already. He rubbed his eyes before brushing his teeth and washing his face.
By the time he exited the bathroom, Harry had finished arranging the pillow wall and was lying in bed, reading a book. He didn’t acknowledge Louis at all, even when he slowly got into bed, careful to stay on his side and to not destroy the pillow wall.
He lay back on his pillow and stared at the ceiling, this was much worse than he could have ever imagined it would be. Harry was so close to him, he could actually smell him. He smelled his familiar shower gel and shampoo, he could hear him breathing. If he stretched out his hand, he could run his fingers through his hair, the way he used to.
This was torture, Louis realised. Maybe this was his own private hell, reminding him of the worst mistake he had ever made. He hadn’t broken up with Harry because he didn’t have feelings for him anymore, no, those feelings were still there, lingering in the background every single day. Right now they were rubbed in his face, as he felt the strong urge to pull Harry close to him, to run his fingers through his hair, to pepper kisses all over his face and to see him smile. He had broken up with Harry, because he was scared, because he scared him. He wanted too much too soon, Louis couldn’t handle it. It had been the right decision, he reminded himself. This way Harry could find someone who wasn’t scared and Louis, well Louis would figure something out.
He heard Harry place the book on the nightstand and then the light was switched off leaving them in darkness. He felt like he could smell Harry even better now, his senses heightened, hearing every single intake of breath like he was lying directly next to him. Louis swallowed, he wondered if Harry was as on edge as he was right now, if he also felt like he wouldn’t be able to sleep. He couldn’t ask him, that was against their rules. Besides, where would a conversation like that lead? It was better this way, for them not to talk, to not rehash old feelings.
Louis took in a deep breath and closed his eyes, willing sleep to come.