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Kiyoi took a shuddering breath, his whole body tense and rigid with anticipation. He was laying on his back, propped up on his elbows, almost afraid to move. Although his heart was hammering in his chest and a nervous sweat started to appear on his temples, his expression remained defiant, challenging. Daring the person standing above him to…do something. Daring him to turn away or daring him to continue? Even he didn’t know.
He had ended up like this, in HIra’s home, in Hira’s bed, after the events in the classroom. “Events” was as precise as he dared to call it. He still wasn’t sure what it all meant or even if it was real for them (for Hira). Real in any way that mattered, in all the ways their first kiss wasn’t. (Sudden, like lightning during a storm, quick, bright, hot and just gone the next second, like it never happened)
They almost got caught by a security guard but Kiyoi refused to let it end there. He started walking with the confidence he for once lacked towards Hira’s home and the boy quietly followed behind him like he always did. Kiyoi felt more and more irritated, angry, confused with every passing second of silent obedience. You promised , something in Kiyoi absolutely seethed, you promised it would be different this time.
When they reached the house, he stopped. He looked back at Hira and what he saw only made him angrier. The boy’s head was bowed, shoulder slumped, hands restless as he kept fiddling with his cuffs. He won’t even look at me, he thought and it brought more hurt than anticipated. The feeling in his chest that he attributed to anger started to look more and more like something else. Something colder and sharper. Like fear.
Do you even like me? Do you? Or am I still a God to you?
“Door.” he barked.
Finally, Hira’s head shot up as if he had woken up from a trance. His eyes widened and his whole body seemed to start moving at once.
“R-right. S…so…sorry.” he stammered, brushing past Kiyoi.
When he opened the door, Kiyoi pushed him aside, moving past him. He took off his coat and threw it with force. How could he even start this conversation without setting himself up for getting hurt? He confessed his feelings so many times already and that absolute idiot still didn’t understand. So what if the answer is that he can’t like Kiyoi the way he wants him to? What if Hira can only worship Kiyoi the God but never love Kiyoi the Person?
The more Kiyoi thought about it all the more his chest hurt, the more his eyes watered but he wasn’t the sort of person to break down or beg. He was the sort of person to bite back. And so as his chest filled with hurt, his head filled with anger. He turned his lips into a hard sneer to hide that they trembled.
He turned around, ready to bite and hurt…
And was stopped when Hira’s hands fisted into his collar and foreign mouth sealed his own.
He let out a gasp but hardly had time to react otherwise as Hira started pushing him backwards. The push became progressively stronger, Kiyoi stumbling until the back of his knees hit a bed and he fell.
He pulled himself back up on his elbows, shock most definitely appearing on his face as he looked up at Hira.
“...S-sorry” he mumbled but Hira’s face didn’t look remorseful at all.
Hira’s pupils were blown wide, lips slightly parted. He was watching Kiyoi with the same startling intensity as always, yet it was different. It had a sharper, harder edge. His gaze was fixed on him a little bit less like a devout monk would look upon his God and more like… like…
Like a starved man would look at a feast.
Kiyoi shuddered under its intensity, something deep in his gut twisting, something lower hardening.
“Kiyoi…” Hira whispered, still so reverently,” can I…may I please…?” he paused.
Kiyoi wanted to snap at him for even asking but he still felt pinned by those eyes. He swallowed thickly, his breath quickening. He wasn’t sure if his voice would work even if he had enough resolve to speak. Instead, he nodded.
Hira let out a breath, a whine and pounced.
Hira’s lips found Kiyoi’s, hard, insistent, desperate, his hands instantly finding the button’s of his shirt. Kiyoi let out a startled gasp when his mouth moved to his neck, biting the tender flesh just above his collar bone. He latched onto it, sucking and licking the spot. There’s going to be a mark, Kiyoi thought and startled at how hard it made him.
“Hira…” he whined, hands coming up to his shoulders, hips moving up on their own.
The sound of buttons hitting the floor filled the room as Kiyoi’s shirt got forcefully pried open. Hira pulled back at that, seemingly startled himself, even though he was the cause. His eyes were completely wild this time, a touch insane and overcome with lust. His lips were parted, no doubt prepared for another apology that got halted somewhere part way.
“...Beautiful.” he breathed out and Kiyoi was sure his cheeks were burning as he looked away.
Hira’s hands started a slow but deliberate journey from his collarbone and down his chest. Kiyoi’s breath hitched as he felt the soft brush of fingers over his exposed nipples, then his ribs and stomach, reaching his navel. Then, instead of stopping or going even lower, he felt Hira start up again, this time harder, letting his nails trail a path of red marks in their wake.
“Kiyoi…Kiyoi…” Hira kept whispering, as if enchanted, clawing at his skin.
Kiyoi didn’t know what to do but he was never the passive type. When he finally got the courage to look at Hira, he was almost too stunned to act again - his eyes were just two dark orbs filled with want and lust, worship and obsession, and only for him. He thought briefly that it should be scary, he should be fearful in the face of such extreme intensity but all Kiyoi could think was more . He wanted more. He wanted all that Hira was willing to give and then steal away all that he wouldn’t. But most of all, he wanted Hira to take all of him, without asking.
So with his gaze steady but hands trembling, he reached out for Hira’s shirt and tugged.
“Strip.” he demanded, though the tone of his voice was more of a plea.
Hira nodded frantically, standing up and taking off his clothes in a way that was neither sexy nor coordinated, but very enthusiastic. Kiyoi mentally kicked himself for the warm, fond feeling that spread across his chest at the display. Somehow, the way his heart softened with affection made him more embarrassed than laying on Hira’s bed half-naked. To distract himself, he fumbled with his own pants, shrugging off his ruined shirt while he was at it. He only managed to unzip them when Hira’s hands covered his. He looked up and froze.
Hira was naked, one leg kneeling on the bed, hovering over him. The only thing he was still wearing was that wild look that hadn’t left him since they arrived in this room. Kiyoi couldn’t help but stare as Hira grabbed the fabric of both his pants and boxers. For once, Hira wasn’t looking at him. No, he was looking straight at the bulge between his legs. Kiyoi was left mesmerised as the other boy licked his lips, his grip tightening as he started pulling the clothes down.
Kiyoi never thought it possible but he was so turned on it hurt.
When the material finally slid off his straining, twitching erection he let out a completely undignified whimper. He could barely control his body as Hira finally settled between his bare legs, hands on Kiyoi’s hips, face coming closer and closer to his exposed cock. He nuzzled his nose against its base and sniffed.
Kiyoi’s whole body twitched.
“Disgusting.” Kiyoi choked out, even as Hira’s tongue darted out and he gave him an experimental lick, then another.
Kiyoi thought he would go insane when finally his mouth wrapped around the tip. He did go half insane when the boy let out the most obscene moan, taking more of him in, swallowing him greedily. One of Kiyoi’s hands fisted in his hair, the other in the sheets, his whole body jerking forward, pulled by sheer want. Hira stopped his movement with surprising strength, held his hips hard enough to bruise, hard enough that it definitely would bruise. With his mind's eye, Kiyoi saw it - his pale skin painted red and blue, marks visible for days showing Hira’s claim on his body.
He had to bite his lip hard to stop himself from cuming right then.
He forced his eyes and looked down to ground himself. It turned out to be a huge mistake (or perhaps the best decision he had ever made) as the sight that awaited him was truly sinful. Hira’s head was going up and down in a rhythmic fashion, lips embracing his rock hard member tightly, saliva escaping his lips as he worked his tongue around it, devouring it like a starved man. And his eyes, oh his eyes. They were dark, heated and staring right at him, shameless, gaze never wavering from Kiyoi’s face. When their eyes locked something shifted in his expression and before Kiyoi knew, Hira’s head went all the way down.
The sight itself could unravel Kiyoi but the sensation, the heat and tightness, the knowledge that it was Hira’s throat spasming around him, swallowing him whole. His whole body tensed as he threw his head back, a broken, incoherent cry breaking free from his lips.
He could swear he blacked out for a second.
After he had finally gathered enough willpower to form a semi-coherent thought, he finally looked down again. Hira was coughing lightly, still seated between Kiyoi’s legs. Involuntarily, Kiyoi’s gaze traveled down to Hira’s cock which was glistening with precum.
“Come here.” Kiyoi said, trying to keep his voice flat and failing.
Hira immediately complied, crawling over him, but remained careful, clearly trying not to touch the other’s body. He suddenly looked unsure which Kiyoi found ridiculous. Another spike of irritation hit him and it gave him enough courage to attempt what he had never tried before.
He reached out with a shaking hand, grabbing Hira’s cock. The boy yelped in surprise and Kiyoi decided to use it to his advantage. With his other hand he pushed the boy’s ribs, making him lose his balance and land on his side. He used the newfound proximity to attack Hira’s lips, mercilessly as his hand proceeded to move.
It was messy and uncoordinated - he had no experience doing this to other people and his nervousness didn’t help things - but Hira squirmed and moaned under his touch, nonetheless. He kept his assault on the other’s lips to keep the other boy’s eyes shut. He simply wasn't sure if he would be able to do this with Hira’s eyes and devotion focused on him.
“Ki-ki-kiyoi!” Hira whined as he finally came all over his fingers and Kiyoi already knew they had to do it again soon, just so he could hear his name spoken like this.
When Kiyoi felt the cock in his hand gradually soften, he finally pulled away, hesitantly opening his eyes.
Hira’s skin was a beautiful shade of pink, his whole body flushed. HIs plumb, kiss-swollen lips were parted as he took quick, ragged breaths. HIs body was splayed, half-way on his back, his head turned to Kiyoi. He was looking at him, half-lidded eyes but full of feeling - devotion, worship, reverence and something softer, warmer but just as fierce that made Kiyoi’s already racing heart speed up.
Before he could turn away again, Hira spoke up.
“I love you, Kiyoi,“ he whispered,”...So much.”
Kiyoi’s heart stuttered at the confession but he didn’t know why. He knew it already, he heard Hira confess to him before, but like this - both spent from orgasms, laying naked side by side, their faces only a breath away - it felt different. Real. HIra wasn’t confessing to Kioyi the God, but Kiyoi the Person.
And Kiyoi the Person loved him back just as fiercely, so much that it scared him.
“D-disgusting,” he stuttered, trying to hide his overflowing emotions.
He quickly got up, stumbling only a little. He almost grabbed the covers to hide himself as he felt more than a little self-conscious about being naked, now that he wasn’t in the throes of passion.
“I’m going to take a shower,” he said, but there was no answer.
He couldn’t help sneaking one last look at Hira. The boy was still laying on the bed in the same position Kiyoi had left him in but now he was smiling. His eyes were no longer dark but sparkling with happiness. Hira’s whole face became bright, relaxed and beautiful. Kiyoi had never seen him smile quite like that and it hit him that the sight was only for him. Only he got to see this side of Hira.
His heart melted and he couldn’t help but shyly smile back, before turning away.
“You can shower with me if you want,” he shouted while already in the hallway, trying to sound casual.
“Y-yes, please!” he heard Hira squeal back.
The sound of frantic running quickly followed.