Archive of Our Own

“Oh, my god,” Jimin exclaimed one evening a week ago, peeking over Jeongguk’s shoulder into his phone. “I gave you this website like- three weeks ago. Are you still deciding?”

“Jimin,” Jeongguk chastised, putting his phone away.

Hoseok, who had been sitting on one of the other couches besides Jeongguk, witnessed this moment happening and paid it zero attention. He continued watching TV like nothing was happening, right up until-

“It’s sex toys, not rocket science, just choose one,” Jimin laughed, dropping down beside Jeongguk on the couch.

“I can’t choose one online,” Jeongguk exclaims. “I don’t know how you fucking do it.”

“Can’t choose one, buy a few,” Jimin pursed his lips at Jeongguk, his eyebrows shooting up. “The fuck are you rich for?”

“I don’t wanna buy a few,” Jeongguk whispered, slightly outraged, glancing at Hoseok as if checking if he’s listening. “I don’t wanna have a bunch of- it’s not that simple.”

Jimin made a noise in protest and reached for Jeongguk’s phone, only to have Jeongguk take it away.

“Stop,” Jeongguk snaps, quickly looking at Hoseok again.

“It’s very simple,” Jimin said. “You’re making it unnecessarily difficult.”

“I just have very specific…” Jeongguk trailed off, looking at Hoseok one more time.

“Needs?” Jimin supplied, laughing.

It’s all that looking that made Hoseok talk, made him think Jeongguk was trying to make him part of the conversation rather than the opposite.

“You can go to an actual sex store,” Hoseok offered, shrugging.

“No, I can’t,” Jeongguk actually blushed. “I’ll be recognized.”

“Just gotta go to the right places,” Jimin said.

“You don’t go in person,” Jeongguk accused Jimin.

“I don’t have an issue with buying them online,” Jimin teased.

Jeongguk rolled his eyes, but he was still all blushy, and Hoseok’s protective instincts kicked in so hard, he didn’t even try to make himself shut up.

“What if I go with you?” Hoseok offered.

“What?” Jeongguk asked.

“Oh!” Jimin exclaimed. “You can take him to that one place you took me!”

“Yeah,” Hoseok said. “One of my friends actually owns a sex shop. She’s really chill, I’ve known her for years, been there a bunch of times. Privacy guaranteed. I can talk to her, take you there after hours. She’ll be the only one there.”

There was no immediate protest from Jeongguk. That should have clued Hoseok into something. He didn’t know what it would be at the time, but he should have noticed that something was off. Jeongguk was struggling when choosing sex toys online, blushing over talking about it when he doesn’t blush about basically anything, but not protesting against going to an actual sex shop at the same time? Hoseok should have noticed. But he didn’t.

Jeongguk’s silence, followed by his quiet “you would?” is why, a week later, Hoseok found himself walking into a sex shop with Jeongguk by his side.

Even then, he didn’t think much of it. Fair play. He offered, Jeongguk accepted.

He did pay attention to Jeongguk a bit more throughout the week that passed between the conversation with Jimin and the sex shop visit, just because he could feel Jeongguk’s eyes on him more often than usual. And, paying attention, he noticed how highly strung Jeongguk seemed. He hadn’t noticed before. It’s hard to tell sometimes when Jeongguk is stressed versus when he’s just hyperactive, but during this week, it was clearly stress.

Still, there was nothing Hoseok could do about it. He came up to Jeongguk, asked him if he was okay a couple times, but Jeongguk dismissed him. For a moment, Hoseok wondered if Jeongguk’s stress had something to do with the whole trip to the sex store, but when he mentioned that, asking if Jeongguk was still up for going, Jeongguk lit up, his cheeks flushing. Those were some of the only genuine smiles Hoseok saw on him that week.

So, when Hoseok comes into the shop with him a week later, his friend rushing up to them and hugging him, he’s slightly worried about Jeongguk but generally excited about the whole trip here, hoping that it will make Jeongguk happy.

His friend, Aeri, her hair now a vibrant green, her colorful tattoo sleeve fuller than last time he saw her, walks up to Jeongguk and asks him what he’s looking for. Hoseok tries to not pay too much attention. He’s looking around, staying close enough to Jeongguk for Jeongguk to be more comfortable here but not close enough to make him feel scrutinized.

Jeongguk says “nothing specific,” blushing again, and when she steps away from him, going to sit behind the register, Jeongguk heads straight for the dildo display. ‘Nothing specific’. Right. Hoseok follows a step behind him. Not judging. Not paying attention to what Jeongguk is looking for. Just being there, fulfilling his role as a best friend by helping out his maknae.

He doesn’t care about what Jeongguk came here to get. Isn’t any of his business. He just hopes that whatever it is, Jeongguk will find it.

Being here with him isn’t a big deal at all to Hoseok. He’s been here with Jimin before. Even Namjoon asked to come with him once right around the time the shop opened, all giddy about the confidentiality, buying two bags full of stuff. It wasn’t a big deal any of those times. But Hoseok can tell that this is a big deal to Jeongguk.

For a while, Jeongguk does nothing but look. His eyes are scanning the wall, arms stiff by his sides. He starts touching only after Aeri calls out and tells him he’s allowed to touch the ones that are on display. Hoseok makes casual conversation with her, trying to lighten the mood, but Jeongguk is focused, not responding to any of Hoseok’s jokes.

Jeongguk touches with determination, picking the unpackaged dildos from the displays, squeezing them in his fist, then putting them back in place. There is no blush to be seen on Jeongguk as he does it. Only sternness. And yeah, Hoseok may not be paying that much attention, but he’s observant enough to notice a pattern.

First, Jeongguk only touches the realistic-looking dildos. Pick up, squeeze, put down. He goes through all of them- every single one that is on display. And every single one of them, he puts down, his brows furrowed, unsatisfied. Then, he goes for all the colorful ones, the unrealistic ones. Same process – pick up, squeeze, put down, frown and go for the next one.

Something is not right. And Hoseok is not the only one who notices.

“Alright, sweetie,” Aeri comes up to Jeongguk again, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Let me help.”

And Jeongguk just sighs, sagging, all the determination gone.

“What are you looking for?” she asks again.

Glancing at Hoseok for only a moment then turning to her, Jeongguk murmurs, “Something soft.”

“Alright,” she says. “And you have a preference for realistic, right?”

Blushing again, Jeongguk nods.

She hands him one of the dildos from the display, “Tell me what’s wrong with this one.”

Jeongguk takes it in his hand, squeezing it. It looks soft enough.

“It’s not soft enough,” Jeongguk says quietly.

“Softest one we have,” she says, tilting her head and squinting. “Really good silicone, flexible.”

Jeongguk nods, putting the toy back onto its display.

“What do you need it so soft for?” she asks.

“What do you mean?” Jeongguk says quickly, flushing harder.

“You’re clearly looking for something specific,” she says, hand on her hip now. “If you tell me what it is, I might be able to actually help you find it.”

“I’m just looking for something soft,” Jeongguk repeats quietly.

“For what purpose?” she asks.

Jeongguk glances at Hoseok.

Hoseok raises his hands in defense.

“If you want me to go,” Hoseok says, “I’ll go. Or you can whisper it in her ear. I don’t care, I don’t need to know. I’m just here for moral support. If you don’t feel morally supported, I can back out.”

“No, it’s-“ Jeongguk sighs. “It’s fine, I’m just-“ he closes his eyes and shakes his head, then, suddenly determined again, he turns to Aeri. “I want it soft because…” and he deflates again. “I just wanna… you know… suck on it.”

Aeri widens her eyes, eyebrows going up, nodding in encouragement, “And…”

“For a… a while,” Jeongguk adds.

She continues nodding, making a circular ‘continue’ motion with her hand.

“Like- I just wanna…” blushing. So much blushing, “hold it- for a while… in my mouth. Without my jaw hurting too much.”

“So, for cock warming,” she exclaims, and that’s when Hoseok properly starts paying attention.

Because he never met anyone besides him who is interested in… cock warming.

Jeongguk blushes so hard, he actually flinches.

“Hey!” Aeri exclaims. “It’s nothing to be embarrassed about. A lot of people are into it.”

“Are they?” Hoseok asks before he can stop himself, hoping he doesn’t come off sounding judgmental. Genuinely curious. For himself.

“A lot of people are into everything,” she dismisses, walking away from the dildo display towards what Hoseok thinks of as the kinkier part of the shop- with all the BDSM stuff.

Jeongguk follows her sheepishly, and Hoseok goes after him.

“I can’t say I have anything specific for cock warming,” she turns to look at Jeongguk before opening a drawer. “But…” she grabs a closed box, “this is the closest I can get you, I think.”

Walking back to the counter, she opens the box and takes a dildo out of it. A flesh-colored, slightly above average-sized, flaccid dildo in a clear bag.

“Oh,” Jeongguk steps up to her, his eyes suddenly large with excitement.

“It won’t have the exact same effect, obviously,” she says. “Because it doesn’t actually get hard or half-hard, or however you like it the most, but your jaw should be fine.”

She hands Jeongguk the dildo in the bag, and he takes it, squeezing it, moving the shaft around. His eyes are wide, his lips are parted, and good god, Hoseok’s head is in a place it definitely shouldn’t be. Cock warming and Jeongguk are not two things that he ever imagined he would think of at the same time, but now, he’s really, really thinking about it.

It’s not going to be the same effect at all, Aeri’s right. Hoseok may have never gotten lucky enough to do the whole cock warming thing with anyone, but he’s thought about it more than enough. So, he knows it’s not just about holding a cock in your mouth. It’s not about whether or not the dildo – or cock – thickens up or stays soft. Not only that, at least. It’s the fact that there’s a person attached to it, someone who can… brush their fingers through his hair. Take control, lead. A huge part of it is mental. He’d think Jeongguk would know that too.

If cock warming is what Jeongguk is looking for, this won’t be what he wants it to be. And yet, Jeongguk looks so fucking excited.

“I’ll take it,” Jeongguk whispers, smiling sheepishly. Then, he looks at Hoseok, still with that smile, says “thank you,” and all Hoseok can do is nod and imagine Jeongguk on his knees for him.

It’s insanely inappropriate.

He knows it is, but he keeps thinking about it anyway.

Jeongguk is giddy throughout the entire car ride back, clutching onto his black bag, biting his lower lip to hold off his smile and blushing at the same time. Hoseok doesn’t comment on it. Doesn’t want to tease Jeongguk about it at all. Fears that letting himself so much as imagine Jeongguk on his knees locked in his room with his lips around this fake shaft he’s so excited about will make Hoseok hard. Shit. Have to focus on driving.

When they get back home, Jimin is in the living room, instantly teasing Jeongguk as he spots the bag that Jeongguk is holding. But Hoseok doesn’t pay attention. Can’t. He drops his stuff in his room, gets into the shower, and turns the water freezing.

Closing his eyes is a mistake, because when he does that, he sees Jeongguk behind his eyelids, sucking his cock. He shouldn’t have taken Jeongguk there. No, he should have. He wouldn’t have done anything differently if he had been given another chance. But god, did it have to be fucking cock warming of all things? The only fucking fantasy Hoseok has left that he hasn’t been able to experience.

He doesn’t jerk off in the shower. Manages to hold himself off. No, he jerks off later that night in bed when Jimin is in the shower instead of in their room, and shame burns through him, but he comes so fucking hard.

It’s too much, knowing there’s another person – an attractive, excited person – right there in the house with him who’s into what he’s into. Makes the picture in Hoseok’s mind too clear, too specific. Gives a face to the random guy he always imagines. Jeongguk’s face. He almost laughs into his pillow. So inappropriate. But he can just see it so easily- brushing his fingers through Jeongguk’s hair as Jeongguk looks up at him with those wide, excited eyes from earlier.

He sighs, rolling over and shoving his face into his pillow.

The next morning, when they’re all gathering in the kitchen for breakfast, Hoseok expects Jeongguk to be all excited and happy like he was last night, all that stress gone. At least for a while. The effects of yesterday’s trip should keep him in a good mood.

Instead, Jeongguk comes out of his room looking… not stressed, but kind of sad. Taehyung asks him if he’s okay, and Jeongguk says that he is, his smile coming off kind of fake. That’s when Hoseok realizes that it’s not actually sadness on Jeongguk’s face, it’s disappointment.

And something in Hoseok’s gut tells him that he and Aeri were right last night – it did not have the effect Jeongguk wanted after all.

It’s unexpectedly distressing, knowing that Jeongguk tried doing what he wanted with that dildo and didn’t get what he was hoping to. The image of it is very clear in Hoseok’s mind. Jeongguk in his room, on his knees by his bed, holding the dildo in his hand and excitedly leaning in, taking the tip of it in his mouth, holding it there and not having anyone to brush his fingers through his hair.

It probably felt good for a while in the beginning, considering how excited Jeongguk was to do it. The disappointment over it not feeling right must have been all the worst because of that. Cold silicone. Unresponsive to Jeongguk. No one could submit to that.

Throughout the day, Hoseok keeps an eye on Jeongguk. Jeongguk gets himself together enough, does what needs to be done, but Hoseok can see that disappointment still there. Jeongguk’s smiles don’t hold for as long as they should.

So, at the end of the day, at home, when Hoseok walks out into the kitchen and sees Jeongguk in the living room on one of the couches, holding his phone in his hand but not looking at it, just staring off into space instead, Hoseok can’t help himself. He sits down on the couch next to Jeongguk, startling him, and starts talking, not having a plan, simply aiming to provide some comfort. He hates seeing Jeongguk sad.

“You’re in a bad mood,” he says.

“I’m fine,” Jeongguk protests, sounding entirely unconvincing.

Hoseok leans back, looking up, takes a deep breath, “Wasn’t everything you were hoping it would be?”

Jeongguk looks at him and doesn’t say anything for a moment.

Maybe Hoseok shouldn’t have been this direct with him, maybe he shouldn’t have brought up the whole thing at all, maybe he’s wrong, and Jeongguk’s bad mood has nothing to do with yesterday at all. He can’t say bringing it up like that was what he intended to do when he sat down next to Jeongguk, but it’s been bothering Hoseok. The whole thing is bothering him.

He’s too protective of Jeongguk. All six of them are, really. But something about knowing this about Jeongguk, knowing his desire to do that specific thing, to submit to someone like that… it just makes Hoseok more protective, his… instincts flaring up seeing a submissive in distress, especially one that he cares about so much. Makes him want to help.

Eventually, Jeongguk sighs and sinks back into the couch too.

“No, it wasn’t,” he tells Hoseok.

“But you knew it wouldn’t be,” Hoseok turns his head to look at Jeongguk, “right?”

Jeongguk shrugs, “I was hoping.”

Hoseok frowns.

Jeongguk inhales deeply, “It’s whatever,” he shakes his head. “I shouldn’t have hoped so much.”

“I get it,” Hoseok says. “Not many people are into that.”

“No one is into that,” Jeongguk exhales a laugh.

“No one that I’ve asked,” Hoseok nods.

Jeongguk’s eyes meet his for a second, his breath catching as if he’s about to say something. He looks away, then back again, closes his mouth and gulps.

They’re quiet for a few moments, then-

“Are you also into that?” Jeongguk asks quietly.

“Cock warming?” Hoseok asks as casually as he can.

Jeongguk blushes, nodding.

Hoseok nods too, slowly. He doesn’t blush. Isn’t embarrassed. Longing, that’s the only thing he feels. He’s wanted to do that with someone for such a long time- to be that for someone.

“Have you ever done it?” Jeongguk asks, eyes wide with curiosity.

Honestly, Hoseok didn’t expect him to want to continue talking about this.

“Not really,” Hoseok says. “A few seconds of it maybe at most.”

Jeongguk nods quickly, whispering, “What did it feel like?”

Suddenly, it hits Hoseok that Jeongguk thinks Hoseok is interested in cock warming in the same way that Jeongguk is – from the submissive end. He wants to know what it feels like because he’s never done it. Hoseok’s heart clenches. God, he wants to help. It’s selfish though. Offering to ‘help’ would be selfish.

“Well, he only really held me in his mouth for a few moments,” Hoseok clarifies, “post blowjob, so it wasn’t like… I don’t really count it. But it was good.”

Jeongguk’s eyes widen, his mouth opening for a second, and the blush returns to his cheeks full force. He looks away again.

“I take it you haven’t done it either?” Hoseok continues the conversation, his mind back in that inappropriate place from yesterday. Jeongguk looking up at him with those wide eyes would be such a pretty picture.

“Uh…” Jeongguk shifts on the couch, lifting his feet onto the couch and hugging them to his chest. “Nope.”

It wouldn’t have to mean anything if they did it, right? Nothing other than comfort. And getting to experience this with each other. It may be selfish for Hoseok to want to do it, but it’s not just selfish. Jeongguk would enjoy it too. Hoseok would make sure of it. If he would even want to do it with Hoseok. He hasn’t been imagining doing it with Hoseok the way Hoseok has been imagining doing it with him all day long.

Not that Hoseok has the guts to ask for it. He would ask someone else. But not Jeongguk. Of course it would mean something with Jeongguk. It would mean far too much with him.

“I’ve always wanted to,” Jeongguk shares, still talking about it. “I’m not even sure why.”

“What do you mean?” Hoseok asks.

“I don’t know why I wanna do it,” Jeongguk shrugs. “It’s not like I get anything out of it. It’s not like he would get anything out of it. It’s such a pointless thing.”

“What are you talking about?” Hoseok frowns, laughing fondly. Jeongguk’s being honest. This innocence actually seems honest.

Jeongguk blinks at him. Definitely honest.

“You get comfort out of it,” Hoseok says. “And he gets to take care of you, to give you something that you need, to make you feel good. To dominate you.”

“But it doesn’t- feel good,” Jeongguk argues. “If he’s soft, it’s not even really sexual.”

“I don’t think it’s really supposed to be sexual,” Hoseok says. “Not always at least. It can lead there, if you’re into it, or it can happen after sex, but honestly, I think you’d get a similar kind of… gratification by just being on your knees next to someone for a while. The sexual portion of it just makes it… more intense,” he pauses. “I think.”

Jeongguk just looks at him for a while, clearly thinking about it. He looks away, a little frown forming between his brows.

God, Hoseok wants to remove that frown from his face. He wants to give this to him. Selfish or not.

“You really think so?” Jeongguk asks him eventually.

“What?” Hoseok asks.

“That I would… get the same thing out of just… being on my knees next to someone?” he asks.

“I can’t say for sure,” Hoseok answers. “I think it depends on who you do it with, on the context of it. It wouldn’t work if you randomly got on your knees next to Jimin or something, but… with the right intention and with the right person.”

“So, it’s about the person,” Jeongguk says, frowning again. “That’s why…”

He trails off, and Hoseok waits, not saying anything.

“That’s why it didn’t…” Jeongguk hesitates, “work with…”

“The dildo?” Hoseok supplies.

Jeongguk nods.

“You knew it wouldn’t,” Hoseok says again.

“I thought it would be close enough,” Jeongguk says quietly.

“But it wasn’t,” Hoseok says.

“It wasn’t,” Jeongguk whispers.

Someone walks out into the kitchen behind them, and Hoseok turns back to look. Namjoon, sleepily getting himself a glass of water, not paying them any mind. The two of them stay quiet until Namjoon leaves anyway.

Jeongguk doesn’t leave during that time. Considering how blushy he gets when talking about it, Hoseok thought he would take the first opportunity to run off. But Jeongguk is here, keeping this conversation going, staying close to Hoseok. The only indication of him being nervous about anything is the way he keeps his arms around his knees.

Maybe it wouldn’t be the worst idea to offer. Maybe it wouldn’t be that weird or inappropriate or… mean that much. Not if it’s not sexual in nature, not if it’s just about providing comfort and doing something that they’re both interested in. Offering to have sex would be inappropriate. Offering comfort on the other hand… they comfort each other all the time.

“I’ve never actually asked anyone to let me do it,” Jeongguk says after Namjoon leaves.

Hoseok turns back to him, “Why not?”

“Have you?” Jeongguk counters.

“Not in so many words,” Hoseok scrunches up his nose. “It has to be something that they want, not just me. I think it’s supposed to be me doing it for them, not them doing it for me. And it’s hard to bring up- in the right way. Because, you know, with the people I hook up with, it’s always within a very sexual context, so… if I say something like, ‘will you keep it in your mouth a bit longer,’ it doesn’t come off like a request for cock warming. It just sounds like ‘blow me more,’ you know?”

Jeongguk nods, “I never ask because it’s just… awkward to.”

“Awkward how?” Hoseok asks.

“Because they’re not really getting anything out of it,” Jeongguk says.

“They’re getting-“ Hoseok starts, but Jeongguk cuts him off.

“It’s like you said, the guys who I get to go down on are always hookups. So, it’s always within a sexual context,” Jeongguk says. “And what I want- for them to let me…” he blushes again, “suck on their soft dick,” he exclaims against the blush, “wouldn’t give them… sexual gratification.”

Hoseok exhales, “Yeah.”

“So, I never ask,” Jeongguk concludes.

“Eventually, there’s gonna be someone who you’ll feel comfortable enough to ask,” Hoseok says and doesn’t offer.

Jeongguk nods slowly.

They’re quiet.

A door opens and closes in the hallway.

“I’ve never thought about the idea of just… being on my knees next to someone,” Jeongguk says softly, hugging himself more tightly.

“Do you like the idea of that?” Hoseok asks.

“I think so,” Jeongguk says easily, shrugging, like he’s perfectly fine telling Hoseok about this. “But that’s even less sexual than…”

Hoseok nods.

“I don’t know why I wanna do it,” Jeongguk exhales, shaking his head.

“It’s okay to want to be comforted,” Hoseok says.

“I don’t know if that’s that,” Jeongguk shakes his head. “It’s part of it, but it’s not… I think I just like the idea of… not thinking for a while. You know? Just… existing without worrying about anything. I’ve… been so focused lately. On everything. Feels like I haven’t breathed freely in months. That’s why I- you know, started looking into it. Why I’ve been thinking about it more. Why I wanted to get the- the toy in the first place.”

“That makes sense,” Hoseok says. “You wanna let someone else be in control for a while.”

Jeongguk exhales deeply.

He could offer. It wouldn’t be weird. And Jeongguk can always refuse.

“Hyung,” Jeongguk says.

Hoseok hums in acknowledgment.

“Would it be weird if I…” Jeongguk trails off. “If I asked you for it.”

Deep breath. Hoseok’s heartrate spikes.

“Just to do the- the being on the knees thing,” Jeongguk hurries to add. “Not the- I wouldn’t ask you to let me s-suck, I-“ he flinches.

“Yes,” Hoseok says – firm and concise.

Jeongguk’s mouth closes.

“I mean, no,” Hoseok clarifies, heart beating so fucking hard. “It wouldn’t be weird.”

“It wouldn’t?” Jeongguk asks quietly.

“I wanted to offer myself,” Hoseok admits, laughing. “But I didn’t wanna cross a weird line.”

“So I crossed a weird line,” Jeongguk exclaims.

Hoseok opens his mouth, holds for a moment, “Not if we’re both into it.”

He jumps off the couch before he can overthink it and puts his hand out for Jeongguk to take.

“What, now?” Jeongguk asks, eyes widening.

Hoseok says nothing, just keeps his hand out.

After a few seconds, Jeongguk takes it, getting off the couch too.

“Really?” Jeongguk whispers as Hoseok leads them down the hall.

They pass by his and Jimin’s room. Jimin’s not home right now, so Hoseok could technically take them there, but he doesn’t want the risk of Jimin coming back, so he drags Jeongguk to his small room and locks the door behind them. Too many of them are home for unlocked doors if they’re going to be doing this.

“Okay,” Hoseok exclaims and turns to Jeongguk – who’s beet red. “We don’t have to.”

Jeongguk’s mouth opens.

“We don’t,” Hoseok repeats.

“I asked for it,” Jeongguk says hesitantly.

“Still don’t have to,” Hoseok insists.

“I don’t know how to do this,” Jeongguk whispers quickly. “I don’t even know what’s happening.”

And Hoseok, not really knowing what’s happening either, takes a deep breath, walks up to Jeongguk and brings him into a hug.

“Me neither,” he says, and Jeongguk sags against him.

“Hyung, it was so bad,” Jeongguk whines, his arms wrapping around Hoseok.

“What was?” Hoseok asks, concerned now, hugging Jeongguk more tightly.

“I thought it would feel at least a little good,” Jeongguk says. The dildo, that’s what he’s talking about. “But I just felt really fucking embarrassed.”

“That’s okay,” Hoseok says quietly. “You didn’t really know.”

Jeongguk pulls back, looks into Hoseok’s eyes, “But you know. What to do. Right?”

Hoseok’s heart hurts. He wishes he knew.

“Not really,” he exhales, honest. “I’ve taken control enough times during sex, just never with this specific thing. But I can try.”

Jeongguk nods, “Okay. And I- I don’t-“

Hoseok looks into his eyes.

“I’m not asking you to-” Jeongguk tries again. “It doesn’t need to be sexual, right? It doesn’t need to be weird.”

“It doesn’t,” Hoseok nods and actually kind of believes it. If they’re on the same page, it will be whatever they decide it will be.

Jeongguk inhales, his mouth opening and closing, then doesn’t say anything.

“What?” Hoseok asks.

Jeongguk blushes, looking down.

“God,” Hoseok exclaims and wraps his arms around Jeongguk again.

“And you wanna do it, right?” Jeongguk asks. “You said you were going to offer, so you wanna do it. You’re not just doing it because I- for me, right?”

“I wanna do it. I’ve wanted to do it for forever. I mean, not specifically with you, obviously, but generally,” he reassures. “And yeah, it doesn’t need to be sexual, but…” he needs to say it, so he tries to make it into a joke, “I hope it won’t give me a boner.”

Jeongguk snorts, his face in Hoseok’s neck, then starts laughing.

Hoseok smiles too.

“It’ll definitely give me one,” Jeongguk says, still laughing quietly.

“Still technically doesn’t have to be sexual,” Hoseok ponders. “If we don’t… touch… it.”

Jeongguk pulls back to look at him, still laughing a bit.

He stops laughing and doesn’t say anything.

And then, he still doesn’t say anything, his smile slowly but surely going away.

Moments pass with them just looking at one another, and then Hoseok realizes, frazzled and lost like a fucking dumbass, that it’s on him to lead this.

“Okay,” he exhales, takes a step back, then sits at the edge of Jeongguk’s bed. “Sit down next to me.”

Taking a deep breath, Jeongguk sits down and clasps his hands between his thighs.

“So, nothing sexual,” Hoseok says, trying to set some boundaries. “And obviously we can stop whenever.”

Jeongguk nods.

“You just…” Hoseok shakes his head, “tell me if you wanna stop or if I’m doing something that’s making you uncomfortable, and we’ll stop.”

“Okay,” Jeongguk nods. “And… we also stop if it’s really awkward.”

“Okay,” Hoseok says.

“Because if it’s gonna be even one percent as awkward as it was for me last night then…” Jeongguk’s eyes widen and his lips purse.

Hoseok exhales a laugh, “It couldn’t have been that bad.”

“It was that bad,” Jeongguk whispers.

Hoseok smiles at him, “Do you feel awkward now?”

“Yes,” Jeongguk laughs. “I didn’t think you’d agree so quickly.”

“I didn’t think you’d ask,” Hoseok counters.

“Fair,” Jeongguk exhales. “Uh…”

“We can’t really start it if we’re feeling awkward,” Hoseok says.

“Uh…” Jeongguk’s shoulders go up.

Hoseok exhales.

“I am not prepared,” Jeongguk laughs awkwardly. “I did not have enough time to hype myself up for this.”

“Don’t need to prepare,” Hoseok says comfortingly. “You’re supposed to be doing nothing. Not even thinking. Right?”

And Jeongguk’s eyes soften immediately, a small smile back on his face.

“Get in here,” Hoseok says and pulls Jeongguk into yet another hug, sideways and uncomfortable on the bed but still so good.

It takes no time at all for Jeongguk to relax in his arms.

For Hoseok, it does take a few moments. He wasn’t expecting this either. Not really. He wouldn’t have offered. He just wouldn’t have. He couldn’t have offered it to Jeongguk, so the last thing he expected was for Jeongguk to offer it to him. But Jeongguk has always been the braver one – or the more impulsive.

And since Hoseok wasn’t actually expecting this to happen, he didn’t have time to prepare either. Jeongguk may not have to do anything during this, but Hoseok does. He’s going to have to be leading this, and for those first few moments of them hugging, he’s nervous.

But then, Hoseok feels Jeongguk’s fingers tighten in the fabric of his shirt, Jeongguk’s nose press against the skin of his neck, and no, he’s not nervous anymore. The idea of Jeongguk as a submissive overtakes his image of Jeongguk as his maknae. The protectiveness from before comes back full force, because it’s not only the selfish desire to do this that led him here, it’s wanting to help.

Calmness washes over Hoseok like there were no nerves there in the first place. He’s never really done this particular thing before, that’s true, but he knows how to take control, he knows how to be good to someone, and he’s wanted to do this for so long and thought about it so much that he knows he’s going to do it right. Especially when it’s Jeongguk he’s doing it for.

He doesn’t need a plan. He’s not a plan guy. Who’s he kidding? He’s far more impulsive than Jeongguk. Instinct will be enough.

So, he lets his hand trail up from Jeongguk’s back to his neck, cupping the back of it, gently applying pressure – not enough of it to hold Jeongguk in place but enough for him to feel that he could. Jeongguk’s fingers tighten further in his shirt in response. His whole body seizes up for a second, but then he takes a deep breath and relaxes into Hoseok’s arms again.

It doesn’t need to be sexual. It won’t be. Boners or not, it won’t be. If neither one of them intends for it to be sexual, then it just won’t be. Hoseok doesn’t need it to be, and it seems that neither does Jeongguk.

“Kook,” Hoseok says.

“Mm?” Jeongguk doesn’t move an inch.

“Take a deep breath?” Hoseok asks.

Jeongguk doesn’t hesitate, inhaling deeply.

“We don’t have to even mention this afterward, you know?” Hoseok says. “Whether it goes well or not.”

Jeongguk nods.

“I know it’s weird for us to be doing this,” Hoseok adds.

Jeongguk exhales a laugh.

“But try not to think about that too much,” Hoseok runs his fingers through Jeongguk’s hair. “It’s not sexual if that’s what we choose. And if it’s not sexual, it’s not weird, right?”

“Okay,” Jeongguk says.

“Just… don’t even think of me as me,” Hoseok says. “I’m… some random guy you met at a bar.”

Jeongguk pulls back from the hug and looks at Hoseok, staying close.

“I don’t know you. You don’t know me,” Hoseok says. “You were just there, and I saw you, and I came up to you, sat down next to you.”

Jeongguk nods.

“And we started talking,” Hoseok continues, not really knowing where he’s going. But Jeongguk looks so focused, and making up this scenario is kind of helping Hoseok too, disconnects them from reality. “I was attracted to you, you were attracted to me.”

Jeongguk cracks a smile. And so does Hoseok.

“And as we were talking…” Hoseok reaches for Jeongguk’s hand, taking it and holding it between his. Jeongguk gulps. “I realized how submissive you are.”

“I’m-“ Jeongguk starts to protest.

“How submissive you want to be,” Hoseok corrects, his eyebrows going up in challenge.

Jeongguk’s mouth closes, his cheeks going pink.

“And being that I’m… the opposite of submissive,” Hoseok inhales deeply. “I wanted to find out what you wanted. So I started asking you questions. And sometime during the conversation, you told me just how much you like the idea of being on your knees for someone.”

“I wouldn’t have said that,” Jeongguk breathes so quietly Hoseok barely hears.

“But you did,” Hoseok says calmly. “You said that to me.”

“I did,” Jeongguk looks down at their hands.

There’s a pause. Jeongguk gulps.

“Then I brought you here,” Hoseok breaks the silence. “To my very fancy hotel room.”

Another smile from Jeongguk.

“And I told you how handsome you are,” Hoseok smiles too, the scene coming to him so naturally.

Jeongguk bites his lower lip, still smiling.

“And I told you I’d take care of you,” Hoseok continues. “Be a good dom to you.”

Jeongguk looks up, meets Hoseok’s gaze. Hoseok’s smile softens.

“And I sat down on the bed,” he says. “And I loosened my tie and unbuttoned my blazer…”

Jeongguk smiles widely.

“And I took your hand,” Hoseok’s voice lowers. “And I told you to be a good boy for me…”

Jeongguk’s eyes widen a fraction, and Hoseok’s instincts scream ‘praise him’.

“And that if you wanna be a good boy,” Hoseok says, “you need to get down on your knees.”

Jeongguk gulps. And doesn’t move. He looks at their clasped hands again.

Keeping Jeongguk’s hand in one of his, Hoseok reaches up and places two fingers under Jeongguk’s chin, making him look up and into Hoseok’s eyes.

“Get down on your knees for me,” Hoseok repeats just as quietly.

This time, Jeongguk listens.

Slowly, keeping his eyes on Hoseok’s the whole time, Jeongguk lowers himself onto the floor by Hoseok’s feet, sitting back on his heels.

“Stay close,” Hoseok tells him, and he’s already getting hard.

Just having Jeongguk listen to him like this. No arguing. No fighting. Wanting to do what he says. It’s getting to Hoseok. But this isn’t meant to be sexual, so he ignores it.

He spreads his legs wider for Jeongguk, who shuffles closer and settles between them.

“Head on my thigh,” Hoseok tells him without thinking, guided by instinct and by the hundreds of times that he’s imagined this.

Jeongguk is going to see that Hoseok is not so soft right now, but that doesn’t matter. Hoseok warned him that it would happen, and they don’t care about it anyway. They’re just-

“Strangers in a hotel room,” Hoseok says quietly as Jeongguk rests his cheek onto his thigh.

He looks up at Hoseok, and somehow, he already seems content. Not even blushing. Doesn’t appear to care about Hoseok’s not-so-soft cock at all. Ignoring it. Hoseok wonders if Jeongguk is also not so soft, but he can’t see from this angle.

“A stranger who you trust enough to let him do this for you,” Hoseok says.

Jeongguk blinks up at him slowly.

“Close your eyes,” Hoseok whispers.

Jeongguk closes his eyes.

And that’s it.

Hoseok takes a deep breath and – like he’s always wanted – gently runs his fingers through Jeongguk’s hair.

For a few minutes, they just sit there. Jeongguk’s eyes stay closed. His breathing is steady. They’re silent, the only sound in the room is the soft scratch of movement from Hoseok’s nails through Jeongguk’s hair. Hoseok wants to keep speaking, say something, keep Jeongguk engaged, but he doesn’t.

This calmness feels good enough on its own. This is comfort. Non-sexual.

For those few minutes, he just lets the two of them sit there and live in the moment. It won’t be comfortable for Jeongguk to sit like this for a long time, his knees are going to hurt from being on the hard floor for so long. But, for now, he should be fine. If he wants this even half as much as Hoseok does, then he should be more than fine.

After those few minutes, Hoseok is soft again.

When Jeongguk’s eyes flutter open, Hoseok smiles at him.

“How do you feel?” Hoseok asks him quietly.

Jeongguk inhales, “Good.”

“Better than with the dildo?” Hoseok smiles again.

Jeongguk exhales a soft laugh, his eyes lowering to Hoseok’s crotch and lingering there.

Hoseok wonders if Jeongguk’s thinking about cock warming again now that Hoseok mentioned the dildo. Hoseok is thinking about it. His cock twitches a bit with renewed interest.

Jeongguk doesn’t actually answer the question. He just keeps looking at Hoseok’s crotch.

“Where is it?” Hoseok asks.

Jeongguk’s eyes turn up.

“The dildo,” Hoseok clarifies.

Jeongguk looks at his bedside table.

Instinct. Just instinct. Hoseok reaches out, points at the first drawer. Jeongguk shakes his head. Hoseok points at the second drawer, and when he gets a nod from Jeongguk, he opens it.

He finds the box with the toy next to lube and condoms and opens it. It’s strange, holding a dildo that’s flaccid like this. He could never imagine himself putting his mouth on it. But Jeongguk did. And as Hoseok puts the box away and inspects the dildo, lifting the shaft, seeing how heavy it is, Jeongguk blushes again.

The weight is realistic enough, the color is realistic, the veins on it are too, but that’s where the realism ends. It feels nothing like a real cock.

“It was so bad,” Jeongguk whispers, burrowing his nose into Hoseok’s thigh.

“I can imagine,” Hoseok says and starts running his fingers through Jeongguk’s hair again. “What exactly did you do with it?”

Jeongguk opens his mouth and closes it again.

“Did you get on your knees like this?” Hoseok asks.

Jeongguk licks his lips and nods.

“Tell me,” Hoseok instructs, placing the dildo on the thigh that Jeongguk is facing. It’s no more than a few inches from Jeongguk’s face.

“I…” Jeongguk gulps, watching it. “I thought it would feel good. I thought it would be close to what it would feel like in real life.”

Hoseok nods, “It’s a creative idea. I don’t think I would have thought of it myself.”

“Terrible idea,” Jeongguk shakes his head.

“What did it feel like?” Hoseok asks.

“Dead,” Jeongguk answers.

“Aw,” Hoseok frowns.

“Cold,” Jeongguk adds. “And… too hard.”

“Even the softest silicone would be too hard,” Hoseok says. “That’s just the material. Can’t replace the real thing.”

“Yeah,” Jeongguk exhales.

“And it came with no human attachment,” Hoseok adds with a smile.

“That too,” Jeongguk smiles softly.

“Did you lick it?” Hoseok asks, genuinely curious but starting to get hard again at the thought of it too. “Or just hold it in your mouth?”

Jeongguk purses his lips, shrugging, “Both. Sorta.”

“Sorta how?” Hoseok asks.

“Like… it felt weird to just… not do anything to it first. No- no foreplay,” Jeongguk blushes. “So I…”

He trails off, looking at the dildo.

Hoseok’s heart is pounding before the words are out of his mouth.

“Show me?” Hoseok says it like a question, has to say it like a question.

Jeongguk looks up at him, his eyes slightly wider than before.

But Hoseok doesn’t take the words back, doesn’t move the dildo away, continues holding it right there in front of Jeongguk.

Looking back down, Jeongguk gulps.

It wouldn’t be like yesterday. Yes, it would still be cold to the touch and too rough, but this time, Hoseok is here. A human attachment. It should be better. It would bring Jeongguk closer to getting what he actually wants to have. And Hoseok too.

He brushes Jeongguk’s hair back from his forehead and doesn’t say a thing.

When Jeongguk finally leans forward and licks the tip of the soft dildo – lightly, hesitantly – Hoseok and Jeongguk both are covered in goosebumps. And then, Jeongguk does it again and looks up at Hoseok at the same time, and Hoseok is suddenly hard. He’s so hard.

He can’t hide it. Doesn’t even try. And when Jeongguk pulls back from the dildo, looks at Hoseok’s crotch and sees the tent there, neither of them reacts to it. It’s not meant to be sexual.

“Again,” Hoseok whispers. It’s not meant to be sexual.

Jeongguk leans forward and licks the tip of the soft dildo again.

“Wrap your lips around it,” Hoseok instructs.

Jeongguk does as Hoseok says.

“Just the tip,” Hoseok adds.

Jeongguk’s lips close around the tip, lifting the soft shaft and holding it with his mouth.

He pulls back a bit, eyes up, then goes back down. Just the tip. As instructed.

“Still not soft enough?” Hoseok asks quietly.

Jeongguk nods.

The next time the tip is fully in Jeongguk’s mouth, Hoseok says, “Don’t move.”

Jeongguk doesn’t move.

It’s not meant to be sexual.

Hoseok moves his hand down to cup the base of Jeongguk’s neck, fingers digging in slightly.

“Good boy,” Hoseok whispers, and Jeongguk squirms in response.

A desire to know overtakes Hoseok, so he leans forward and looks. It’s impossible to miss how hard Jeongguk is. Jeongguk’s palms are on his thighs, not trying to hide it either.

Gulping, Hoseok looks at Jeongguk’s face again.

“Doesn’t feel right, does it?” Hoseok asks.

Jeongguk shakes his head, moving the dildo with him.

“But better than yesterday?” Hoseok asks.

Jeongguk nods.

“Human attachment,” Hoseok says. “You have the element of giving away control.”

Jeongguk blinks up at him.

Hoseok shifts his hand to Jeongguk’s cheek instead, feeling the area where it’s hallowed out around the dildo. Softly, he moves his thumb over Jeongguk’s skin to Jeongguk’s mouth, brushing it across his lower lip.

“So what’s missing?” Hoseok asks. “Why are you still so focused?”

Jeongguk doesn’t move.

Hoseok cups Jeongguk’s chin and pulls him up and off the dildo.

“It’s not making you feel what you should feel,” he asks again, actually meaning it. “So what’s missing?”

If they’re already doing this, he wants to do it right, wants to make it good for him.

Their eyes lock, and Hoseok moves his hand to Jeongguk’s cheek again.

“It’s lonely,” Jeongguk whispers and looks nothing short of heartbroken.

Hoseok frowns.

Jeongguk turns his eyes to the dildo, “I don’t wanna keep doing it.”

“Okay,” Hoseok says hurriedly, heart sinking.

“It doesn’t feel good,” Jeongguk says, eyes up on Hoseok again.

Hoseok nods quickly, so upset his stomach roils with it.

Jeongguk gulps, “Doing it to this… this dead thing, even with you holding it, just feels like doing it alone. Like yesterday. I’m in it alone,” he adds dismissively, then, so quietly Hoseok barely hears it, “Like always.”

Jeongguk’s eyebrows furrow. For a second, Hoseok thinks Jeongguk’s eyes fill up with tears, but then Jeongguk looks down, and all Hoseok can see is how Jeongguk’s eyebrows furrow further in anger.

He doesn’t move though, staying right here between Hoseok’s legs, and that has to mean something. It was better before Hoseok brought the dildo out. More personal. They were both getting something out of it, even if that something wasn’t sexual. The dildo just put space between them. No wonder it felt lonely. He moves the dildo away, lays it as far away on the bed as he can reach.

His heart hurts for Jeongguk. It’s more than just protectiveness over his maknae, it’s that dominant instinct again. The thought of Jeongguk not being taken care of the way he should be with his hookups makes Hoseok want to erase every single one of them from Jeongguk’s memory and replace them with something better. A corrective experience – with a decent dom, with a person who actually cares about him.

Hoseok takes a deep breath. Exhales. Another deep breath, and he suppresses his concerns and makes a decision.

“Just say no,” he whispers, letting go of Jeongguk and reaching for the waistband of his sweatpants.

He doesn’t wait, doesn’t beat around the bush, raising his hips up to push his pants down. As he does, Jeongguk’s head lifts off him. Jeongguk watches Hoseok’s hands, but Hoseok keeps his gaze on Jeongguk, watches Jeongguk’s mouth open as if he’s about to say something then stay open as if he’s shocked, his eyes widening.

Those wide eyes stay on him when he shoves his underwear down his legs too, bunching them up right below his cock and balls along with his sweatpants. He’s not fully hard, not soft, somewhere in the middle. A bit more hard than not. They’re both blushing now. Nakedness has never bothered Hoseok, especially with the group. It’s not the exposure that’s making Hoseok blush. It’s the risk that comes with it.

Jeongguk’s mouth and eyes stay wide with surprise, but he’s neither moving away nor looking away, and though Hoseok’s heart is racing, he forces his movements to be as calm as they can be.

Slowly, to not startle Jeongguk, Hoseok places his hand on Jeongguk’s cheek, and Jeongguk’s gaze snaps away from his cock and up to his face.

Neither of them says a word. Hoseok’s heart is beating too fast to form words.

He wraps his unoccupied hand around the base of his half-hard shaft and lifts it slightly. It nearly touches Jeongguk’s chin, but Jeongguk doesn’t move. He’s breathing harshly, like he just got back from a run, and his eyes are even wider than before, but he does not move. Not an inch. He stays right where Hoseok holds him.

“Either say no,” Hoseok repeats quietly, and then, when Jeongguk doesn’t, “or open your mouth.”

Jeongguk gasps, his lips parting. And they stay parted, open just wide enough and for long enough for it to clearly be intentional. So, still holding Jeongguk’s cheek, Hoseok straightens out his shaft- a bit harder now but still soft enough, having it right in front of Jeongguk’s lips.

Jeongguk’s gaze flicks down. He gulps, his mouth closing, then licks his lips, opens his mouth wider and looks up at Hoseok again.

“Fuck,” Hoseok exhales. He wets his lips too. “Sorry for not being softer.”

Jeongguk lets out a tiny little whimper.

“Stick your tongue out,” Hoseok says, and Jeongguk does.

When Hoseok touches the tip of his cock to Jeongguk’s tongue, Hoseok inhales shakily and Jeongguk whimpers again, his eyebrows twitching.

“Just the tip,” Hoseok says quietly, and Jeongguk’s lips wrap around him.

Immediately, he gets harder. Because he’s human, and he can’t help it. Not quite rock hard. But Jeongguk doesn’t comment, holding Hoseok’s tip between his lips like Hoseok asked him to.

They look at one another, and to Hoseok, it’s a moment frozen in time. Unforgettable. Something that he’s wanted for so long, happening with someone he never imagined it would happen with. Getting what he’s wanted without feeling as selfish about it as he always worried he would. Because Jeongguk wants this too. Because Jeongguk asked for it. Because Jeongguk’s pants are tented so much, there’s no way he’s anything other than rock hard.

And it’s not sexual. Not really. Not yet. Because they decided it wouldn’t be, and Hoseok will keep that promise until Jeongguk tells him not to. Because while having this happen within a sexual situation with someone who actually wanted to have sex with him would make it better – more like what Hoseok has always imagined it being – having it this way, not sexual, purely for emotional reasons, is something special in and of itself. So Hoseok chooses to cherish it.

Jeongguk’s breaths are puffing out over Hoseok’s shaft, and Hoseok wills himself, as best as he can, to disconnect his body from his mind, to live this moment on a spiritual level instead of a physical one, to not get fully hard. To go softer if he can.

But then Jeongguk pulls his lips back a bit, swallows, and sinks back down, engulfing the tip of his cock again, and Hoseok is definitely not going soft.

“Don’t move,” Hoseok exhales, almost a warning.

So, Jeongguk stops moving, tip all the way in his mouth, and catches Hoseok’s gaze.

“I wanna get softer for you,” Hoseok says. “If you move, I won’t be able to do that.”

For some reason, the corners of Jeongguk’s eyes crease slightly. As if he’s smiling.

Hoseok exhales a laugh.

Yeah. Yeah, this is the most ridiculous sexual-non-sexual situation he’s ever been in, he agrees.

Jeongguk doesn’t move again though, keeping his mouth where it is. Hoseok’s fingers find his hair, brushing through it.

The movement makes Jeongguk’s eyes flutter shut. Jeongguk’s forehead is smooth, calm, his breathing is steady, his cock hard. He looks so content. So pleased. Hoseok gets harder.

“Sorry,” he says and keeps brushing Jeongguk’s hair back.

Post blowjob, maybe he would have been able to keep himself soft, but not like this. Not right now. He’s too turned on. This is something he’s wanted for too long. He can’t help it. When Jeongguk’s eyes open, they still look perfectly calm though.

“You don’t care, do you?” Hoseok realizes.

The pressure around Hoseok’s cock increases for a second – Jeongguk swallowing, Jeongguk’s tongue pressing up against Hoseok’s tip – before loosening again. If they keep this up for much longer, Jeongguk’s going to start drooling.

“About me being hard,” Hoseok adds.

Jeongguk shakes his head lightly, Hoseok’s cock moving in his mouth.

“I thought you wanted soft,” Hoseok teases, smiling.

Jeongguk’s cheeks flush, his hip squirming up and down in a single grinding motion.

Hoseok keeps smiling and whispers, a little bewildered and a little amused, “Just how turned on are you?”

Another squirm from Jeongguk.

“Hard to disconnect from the sexual, isn’t it?” Hoseok cups Jeongguk’s cheek. “When you have someone’s cock in your mouth.”

Jeongguk nods slowly.

“But it’s not sexual,” Hoseok only half means it, smiling, “not really. Not as long as you don’t move. It’s just… some friendly cock warming, right?”

Jeongguk gulps around him again, but he can’t help it so it doesn’t count as moving.

“Breathe,” Hoseok tells him.

Jeongguk inhales.

“With how turned on I am,” Hoseok admits quietly. “If you start moving, I’m not responsible for what my dick ends up doing.”

Jeongguk’s breath exhales through his nose in a laugh, but he doesn’t move. He does swallow again though.

“Stop swallowing,” Hoseok decides and cups Jeongguk’s other cheek as well, turning his face up just a little bit more. “Let yourself drool.”

Flush spreads across Jeongguk’s cheeks. His hips move up and down.

Their gazes hold.

This can’t be the way that Jeongguk imagined this happening either. With how concerned he seemed about his partner’s pleasure when they were talking about it, the idea of doing this without aiming to make the other person come must be new. It’s new to Hoseok. He’s never imagined cock warming ending in anything but orgasm, if there were no orgasms beforehand.

But this isn’t sexual. As long as Jeongguk doesn’t move, doesn’t actively try pleasuring Hoseok, this isn’t sexual. And though Hoseok didn’t intend to remove the responsibility from himself entirely on that front, he’s glad he did.

It’s inappropriate, and he knows it, but he also knows that it would take nothing to make him snap right now, that if Jeongguk decided to move, to give in to the sexual side of the experience, Hoseok wouldn’t stop him.

He’s not sure when he decided he’d be willing to go further. Not at all. It might have happened when he pulled his cock out, or when Jeongguk took it in his mouth, or maybe sometime around the moment Jeongguk was licking the dildo. But, if he’s honest with himself, it might have been all the way back yesterday – in the store, when Jeongguk blushed over the word ‘cock warming’ for the first time. He did jerk off thinking about Jeongguk that night, even though that was inappropriate too.

He’d cross this line with Jeongguk, inappropriate as it is, if Jeongguk wanted to cross it. He would. And maybe they would both regret it after. But they’re both adults, and if they would regret it, they would deal with it. Hell, they already went far further than they had planned on. They might live to regret this already. Not yet though. It doesn’t feel like either one of them is regretting it right now.

It’s not fair to drop the responsibility of where this goes all on Jeongguk though. There’s no way for him to know that Hoseok would be open to moving things forward. Hoseok should let him know. Somehow. Even if Jeongguk is not interested in it too.

For now though, while he’s trying to come up with how to do it, he just looks into Jeongguk’s eyes.

He feels Jeongguk’s throat contracting, his tongue shifting lightly, not swallowing around him. The drool is already slipping past one corner of Jeongguk’s lips, his eyes shifting away for a moment with embarrassment.

“You’re doing good,” Hoseok exhales, moving the pads of his thumbs across Jeongguk’s cheekbones. “Would you take it down a bit deeper?” he asks before thinking it through. “Make it harder for yourself.”

There’s no pause for consideration. Jeongguk immediately lowers his lips down Hoseok’s shaft, and it’s either he isn’t thinking it through either, or he really wants to move things along too. Lower and lower. Hoseok is tempted to let him keep going, see how far he can take it, but this already feels too good, Jeongguk’s easy obedience to him is too much of a turn-on, so-

“There’s good,” Hoseok says, making Jeongguk stop less than halfway down. “This should make you drool much faster.”

And it does. It’s not just the drool either. Jeongguk can’t stop panting, and his hips move every few seconds. It’s perfect. Or almost so. This feels amazing. Seeing Jeongguk like this, knowing that he’s enjoying it as much as Hoseok is perfect.

The only thing that’s missing, that Hoseok would want to change about this moment, is giving Jeongguk the freedom to touch himself. That’s how he has always imagined it would be – his submissive so overwhelmed with pleasure, he couldn’t help but reach down between his legs. Whether he would allow Jeongguk to come or not would be a different question.

“Pretty,” Hoseok whispers, watching saliva slide down Jeongguk’s jaw.

Suddenly, one of Jeongguk’s hands shoots up and swipes across his chin, wiping the wetness right before it drips onto his clothes, immediately placing it back down on his thigh.

“Oh, really?” Hoseok’s eyebrows go up, smirking. “And who told you you could do that?”

Jeongguk’s eyes widen, his throat convulses around Hoseok’s cock, his fingers dig into his own thighs.

“What if I like you messy?” Hoseok squints. “I did tell you to let yourself drool.”

Jeongguk’s hips do that up and down motion in response. Hoseok wonders what exactly about this moment turns Jeongguk on, wants to do more of it.

“When you were imagining this moment,” Hoseok says, “did you imagine yourself being messy?”

After a few seconds, Jeongguk nods.

“So, why wipe it off?” Hoseok asks, bringing his hand to Jeongguk’s wet chin, holding it between his thumb and fingers. Slippery. “What’s the point of doing any of this if you don’t do it exactly how you want to?”

Jeongguk’s gulp doesn’t come off intentional, but Hoseok reprimands him anyway.

“No swallowing. Drool,” he instructs and watches Jeongguk’s hips move and eyes flutter shut at the same time.

A drop of drool slides down Jeongguk’s chin to his neck.

“I wanna know what more you want here,” Hoseok blurts out all of a sudden. “Don’t wanna do too much, don’t wanna do too little. If we’re already doing this, might as well make it good. I wanna know, but I don’t want to make you pull off me to tell me.”

Jeongguk’s eyes open wide, but he doesn’t seem shocked. Hopeful maybe.

Hoseok gently wipes Jeongguk’s chin for him.

He’s surprised when Jeongguk starts pulling off his cock. Surprised but not nearly as worried as he maybe should be. He keeps his hand on Jeongguk’s chin, brushing his cheek with his thumb, keeping the connection that they’ve created in this moment. Giving Jeongguk a way back if he’ll want it.

Hoseok’s cock stays upright when Jeongguk’s lips come off him – hard. So hard.

“This is good,” Jeongguk breathes quietly, blushing and gulping.

He doesn’t try to wipe himself off even now, “Just good?”

Jeongguk licks his lips, “Really good,” then, at Hoseok’s raised eyebrow, “Better than-“

“Yesterday?” Hoseok guesses when Jeongguk trails off.

Jeongguk shakes his head, his eyes opening wider, “Better than- anything. Anything, ever, I- it’s- it’s really good.”

The relief Hoseok feels is insane, “You’re such a good boy.”

Jeongguk shudders, his eyes so large he almost looks innocent.

“You haven’t had the best doms in the past, have you?” Hoseok guesses.

After a second, Jeongguk quickly shakes his head, looking away.

“What else do you want?” Hoseok asks quietly. “What would make it better?”

“I-“ Jeongguk’s mouth gapes.

“Tell me, I wanna know,” Hoseok says.

“I- I can’t,” Jeongguk says.

“I’m asking you to tell me,” Hoseok argues. “So I can make it good for you.”

“But-“ Jeongguk starts, but Hoseok cuts him off.

“Not asking, no,” he corrects. “I’m telling you to.”

Jeongguk’s mouth closes.

“Tell me what you want,” Hoseok says, aiming for a tone that leaves no place for questions.

“More,” Jeongguk says.

“More,” Hoseok repeats, heart racing. If more means Jeongguk is actually asking him to take things further…

“More, just-“ Jeongguk blushes. “Just more, I-“

“I’ll give it to you,” Hoseok says, making Jeongguk stop talking again. If this is Jeongguk asking for what Hoseok is hoping he’s asking for, then Hoseok needs to reassure him. He angles Jeongguk’s chin up, makes Jeongguk meet his gaze, and says more softly, “I’ll give you what you want.”

Jeongguk’s mouth opens on an inhale, but no words come out.

“We’re here, aren’t we?” Hoseok cups his cheek.

“You would- really?” Jeongguk whispers.

“Yeah, we really are here,” Hoseok tries to joke.

“You would…” Jeongguk trails off.

“If you want to,” Hoseok says, seriously this time.

“If I…” Jeongguk gulps, and his hips do the up and down squirming thing again.

Hoseok doesn’t speak, doesn’t want to assume. Really, really wants to assume. He contemplates saying something like ‘it wouldn’t mean anything’, ‘it doesn’t have to be a big deal,’ ‘we don’t have to talk about this ever again, it could just be a one-time thing.’ He almost says it. It might help to say it.

But Jeongguk’s mouth stays open like he wants to speak, and Hoseok wants to hear what that is much more than he wants to give a bunch of excuses for why they should do this. The fact that he wants this is out there. Jeongguk knows everything else – the consequences, the risks, what they could or couldn’t do afterward – he doesn’t need to hear Hoseok tell him these lies. Now, whether this moves forward or not really is up to him.

“I want more,” Jeongguk whispers.

“From me?” Hoseok insists. “Here? Right now?”

Jeongguk inhales shakily and complains, “Hyung.”

Hoseok waits, his heart pounding.

Jeongguk catches Hoseok’s gaze, “Please.”

Another frozen moment.

“Please,” Jeongguk repeats breathily.

“Tell me one thing that you want,” Hoseok says. “One thing, and I’ll give you everything else.”

Make it sexual. Cross the line. That’s what Hoseok is asking for. It needs to be explicit. He won’t assume this. Can’t. Not with this.

“I…” Jeongguk exhales. His blush is spreading all the way down to his chest, under the collar of his shirt.

“Just one thing,” Hoseok pleads. “Anything. I’ll give it to you.”

“Choke me,” Jeongguk exhales, his hand flying up to cover his mouth.

It’s not what Hoseok expected. Whatever that might have been, this is not it.

He doesn’t even know what kind of choking Jeongguk is referring to. Can either guess or ask. But asking, when Jeongguk looks like he regrets he ever opened his mouth to answer in the first place, doesn’t seem like the right option. Choking with his cock – that’s clearly sexual, that’s crossing the line. Choking with his hand… not necessarily. He has to ask.

Carefully, quietly, “With my cock or with my hand?”

And Jeongguk, after a few seconds, with his hand still on his mouth, glances down at Hoseok’s cock, and that’s enough. It’s enough.

“Put your hands behind your back,” Hoseok orders. “Both of them.”

“Hyung,” Jeongguk exhales, moving both of his hands behind himself.

Hoseok grips the base of his own shaft, “Open your mouth.”

“Hyung,” Jeongguk repeats, more desperate this time, and opens his mouth.

“Just the tip,” Hoseok tells him.

He brushes his fingers through Jeongguk’s hair then cradles the side of his head. Doesn’t apply pressure. Doesn’t try to move him. Just holds. Encourages.

When Jeongguk leans down, Hoseok is not pushing him there. His eyes are up on Hoseok, Hoseok’s hand stays in place, Jeongguk’s lips wrap around the tip of Hoseok’s cock, and for a moment, Hoseok feels like he’s in a trance. Dreaming. Unable to comprehend what’s about to happen, what Jeongguk asked for, what he’s going to do to Jeongguk.

His hand moves from the side of Jeongguk’s head to the back of it almost subconsciously, knowing that’s where it should go. Then, it’s there, and Jeongguk gulps, and when Hoseok’s fingers tighten in Jeongguk’s hair, Hoseok is fully conscious of the action, the world coming back into focus, Jeongguk coming back into focus, their roles returning to the forefront of his mind.

He pushes Jeongguk’s head, and Jeongguk goes down willingly. This time, Hoseok does move him. He pushes Jeongguk until he can feel his tip hit the back of Jeongguk’s throat, then he keeps pushing.

A little gagging noise leaves Jeongguk’s lips, but Jeongguk’s eyes stay up. Even as Hoseok grits his teeth and presses Jeongguk further down, even as Jeongguk’s eyes start watering, even when he gags again, he looks up through the tears.

His eyes only close when Hoseok whispers “almost there.” They close tightly with concentration, with effort, and Hoseok doesn’t reprimand him for it, because he didn’t ask Jeongguk to keep them open. It’s only now that Hoseok realizes how much he wants it.

All the way down. Drooling instantly, spit slipping down to Hoseok’s balls.

“Perfect,” Hoseok grunts. “So perfect.”

He tugs Jeongguk back up, and Jeongguk gasps, panting.

Jeongguk’s whimper is long and drawn out. His cock is rock hard. His eyebrows are furrowed with what looks like pain, eyes still closed. And then, his hand comes up from behind his back, and he grasps at his heart, fingers clenching his shirt into a tight fist over it. Overwhelmed. He exhales slowly and shakily, over and over, trying to control his breathing, and Hoseok’s chest hurts.

The way Jeongguk falls into this is so easy, wanting it so much… seeing him like this makes Hoseok angry. Not at Jeongguk, never at Jeongguk, but at all those fuckers who he wanted to submit to before, all those assholes that he didn’t feel comfortable enough with to ask them to so much as hold their cocks in his mouth, those pieces of crap human beings who made him feel so fucking alone.

“What they did to you,” Hoseok says lowly, mad with possessiveness, “those other… fake doms…”

Jeongguk shakes his head, eyes opening wide, “What, I-“

“Did they hurt you?” Hoseok insists.

“No, no, they didn’t,” Jeongguk keeps shaking his head.

Hoseok tightens his grip in Jeongguk’s hair, “Are you sure?”

“I never would have let them do- do anything,” Jeongguk says quickly. “I would have knocked them out if they tried anything.”

Exhaling, Hoseok relaxes his grip on Jeongguk’s hair.

“They were just…” Jeongguk’s eyebrows furrow.

“Disappointing?” Hoseok asks, wrapping his other hand around the base of his own shaft, holding it up.

“Maybe I’m just bad at choosing,” Jeongguk says.

“Look at me,” Hoseok says, and Jeongguk does. “Don’t blame yourself for them not meeting your expectations.”

“Some of them told me that they were dominant,” Jeongguk says. “They said it, when we were- when we were flirting, when they realized that’s what I wanted them to be, and then we got there, and they just… weren’t. Or they were just bad at it. I couldn’t be… you know, like this- with them, and then I didn’t wanna ask them for anything.”

“Open your mouth,” Hoseok says. “Tongue out.”

“Hyung, please,” Jeongguk pleads, doing as Hoseok said, and Hoseok doesn’t know what he’s asking for, but the fact that he’s asking…

With his tongue out, Jeongguk’s hand moves from his heart, down to his thighs, reaches between and squeezes his own cock. Hoseok, who was just about to speak, watches Jeongguk with his mouth hanging open and his cock throbbing in his hand. Didn’t expect that. And Jeongguk blushes. He blushes, he looks away, but he doesn’t remove his hand, doesn’t close his mouth. He does nothing but exhale in frustration.

And Hoseok… Hoseok doesn’t ask him to stop. Hoseok wants him to come.

“I hate all of them,” Hoseok says – calm, too calm – because at this moment, he really means it. “I don’t care if you chose them wrong or if they were pieces of shit who promised you something they couldn’t give you just to get in your pants. Right now, I really, really hate them all.”

Jeongguk inhales, his tongue slipping into his mouth as if he wants to argue, but Hoseok doesn’t let him.

“Tongue out,” he says, and Jeongguk follows, so he touches his cock to Jeongguk’s tongue in reward. “You’ve chosen right this time. I promise you that.”

Jeongguk whimpers.

Hoseok rubs the tip of his cock side to side over Jeongguk’s tongue.

“Tell me,” Hoseok says, taking hold of Jeongguk’s wet chin. “When you imagined yourself doing this, how did you imagine it being?”

“I don’t- I don’t know,” Jeongguk says then quickly sticks his tongue back out.

“Oh, you definitely do,” Hoseok grips Jeongguk’s chin a little tighter, holding him in place.

“I’m- I’m- I can’t…” Jeongguk says and opens his mouth wide again.

Taking a second, Hoseok looks at him. Really looks.

Hoseok feels relatively calm. The moment is surreal, it is, but he’s in control. Jeongguk isn’t. His body is… twitching, like his muscles are seizing up with strain every few seconds. His hand is still on his crotch – not squeezing anymore but there. His hips keep jerking, rubbing his hard-on into his palm, but Hoseok can’t even tell if he’s doing it consciously or not.

His eyes and breathing are what worries Hoseok though. Frantic. Short breaths, shaky, irises shifting quickly from side to side.

“God,” Hoseok exhales. “Close your eyes.”

Jeongguk shakes his head.

“Close them,” Hoseok repeats.

Jeongguk’s eyes shut tightly.

“Inhale,” Hoseok says, and Jeongguk does. “Try to relax.”

“Ca-“ Jeongguk tries refusing without putting his tongue back in his mouth.

“Is this too much?” Hoseok asks. “Am I pushing too far?”

Jeongguk’s eyes shoot open, and he frantically shakes his head, “No.”

“Close them,” Hoseok orders gently.

He closes them and sticks his tongue back out.

“I’ll tell you how I imagined this,” Hoseok says, trying to take Jeongguk out of this anxious state. “How does that sound? Do you wanna hear that?”

Jeongguk nods.

“Close your mouth,” Hoseok says. “Purse your lips.”

When Jeongguk does, Hoseok rubs the tip of his cock against them, smearing precome all over them, making them shiny.

“I imagined it just like this,” Hoseok breathed, keeping his voice calm. “With him on his knees in front of me. Pliant and pretty.”

The blush that rises on Jeongguk’s cheeks emboldens Hoseok.

“Though I never imagined him dressed,” Hoseok adds, moving his cock from Jeongguk’s lips to his right cheek, painting a line of shiny precome there too.

Jeongguk’s hips squirm forward and back, his cock moving under his palm.

“Did you imagine yourself dressed?” Hoseok asks.

Jeongguk shakes his head.

“I always imagined him completely naked,” Hoseok says.

He turns Jeongguk’s head to the side with the hand he has on Jeongguk’s chin.

“I imagined his dick hard… just like yours,” Hoseok gulps, pulls his cock back a bit, then slaps it against Jeongguk’s cheek, a sharp zing of pleasure running through him that makes him shiver.

Jeongguk flinches, freezing, clearly not expecting it, and then he whines, biting on his lower lip, his chin sticking out ever so slightly closer to Hoseok’s cock.

“I imagined telling him to not jerk himself off,” Hoseok says. “Keep his hands behind his back.”

Jeongguk’s hands move behind his back, and Hoseok has to hold back a grunt. There’s a small wet patch at the front of Jeongguk’s grey sweatpants- seeped all the way through his underwear.

Hoseok smacks Jeongguk’s cheek with his cock again, harder this time, hissing at the mix of pain and pleasure, and Jeongguk moans quietly.

Placing his thumb on the center of Jeongguk’s chin, Hoseok presses, getting Jeongguk to open his mouth, moving his cock closer to Jeongguk’s lips with his other hand.

“Sometimes, I imagined him being good, following instructions, not moving, holding me in his mouth until we’re both satisfied,” Hoseok continues. “Other times…” he slides the head of his cock past Jeongguk’s slack lips, pressing them apart further, Jeongguk’s teeth grazing his tip. “I thought he’d be naughtier, try to touch his hole with one of the hands he has behind his back.”

Jeongguk’s biceps flex in response, his tongue coming up to lick at Hoseok’s cock. Hoseok lets him, moving his hand from Jeongguk’s chin to twist into the hair at the back of Jeongguk’s head.

“Which one of them would you be?” he asks Jeongguk, then pushes Jeongguk right down onto his cock.

Immediately, Jeongguk chokes, caught off guard. But Hoseok expected that, so after a second, he tugs Jeongguk off him.

“Which one?” he asks again.

Jeongguk coughs, “I’d-“ a gasp, a gulp, “follow.”

“Because you’re a good boy, aren’t you?” Hoseok asks, rubbing the tip of his cock against Jeongguk’s lips again.

Jeongguk nods, then opens his mouth, his harsh breaths puffing out over Hoseok’s cock. The tension in Jeongguk’s body has lessened significantly though, Hoseok notices, pleased with himself. He’s calming down.

“If I wanted you to touch your hole, I’d have to tell you to do it, wouldn’t I?” Hoseok asks and shoves Jeongguk down onto his cock again.

This time, Jeongguk clearly expects it, taking Hoseok further down, only choking slightly as Hoseok’s cock nudges the back of his throat, keeping Hoseok down.

When Hoseok tugs Jeongguk off again, Jeongguk nods.

“Touch your hole,” Hoseok tells him. “Do it.”

Jeongguk’s eyelids flutter.

“Keep them closed for now,” Hoseok says despite how much he misses having those intense eyes looking up at him. Not watching – not having the visual stimulation on top of everything else – is clearly helping Jeongguk relax. “Have you ever thought about touching your hole while cock warming for someone?”

Jeongguk shakes his head.

“Will you do it for me?” Hoseok asks, shoving the tip of his cock past Jeongguk’s lips.

Jeongguk’s eyebrows furrow, his lips wrapping more firmly around Hoseok’s tip and sucking on it. He doesn’t give a verbal response to Hoseok’s question, and for a moment, Hoseok thinks he really did ask for too much, but then, he sees movement behind Jeongguk’s back, the waistband of Jeongguk’s sweatpants stretching as he reaches beneath it, and at the same moment that Jeongguk moans, Hoseok grunts, his cock jerking in Jeongguk’s mouth.

“Fuck, that’s hot,” Hoseok breathes, releasing his grip on Jeongguk’s hair and running both of his hands through it.

Jeongguk’s head moves back with Hoseok’s hands, the crown of Hoseok’s cock catching on his lips as he drags them up. But Jeongguk doesn’t pull off him. His hips push back, moaning quietly, his forehead completely smooths out, and then, he’s sliding down Hoseok’s cock all on his own.

His lips are lax around Hoseok, his tongue up against the underside of Hoseok’s shaft, his head twisting from side to side as he goes down, making Hoseok hiss. When Hoseok’s tip touches the back of Jeongguk’s throat, Hoseok expects him to stay down there – to hold him just like that. But, Jeongguk moves back up, eyes closed and relaxed, and goes down.

Then, he does it again. Up and down. And again. It’s only on the fourth slide that Hoseok realizes what the fuck is happening, and when he does, he tangles his fingers in Jeongguk’s hair, throws his head back and moans as quietly as he can. Because even after everything, he somehow didn’t expect a blowjob.

This time, when Jeongguk opens his eyes, Hoseok doesn’t reprimand him. He runs his fingers through Jeongguk’s hair as Jeongguk sucks him down instead. He’s going to come. It won’t take more than a minute or two at this point. He’s going to come, and he’s going to make Jeongguk come. Doesn’t care how. He will.

“God, Jeongguk,” Hoseok breathes, watching Jeongguk grind his hips back into his hand, that stain at the front of his pants having grown larger. “Give me your hand,” he decides suddenly. Jeongguk’s hips stop moving. “Yes, the one that you’re using to touch your hole, give it to me.”

Keeping his mouth right where it is, Jeongguk pulls his hand out of his pants and lifts it.

Hoseok takes hold of his wrist and tugs his hand up higher, straightening Jeongguk’s fingers, and, maintaining eye contact, he wraps his lips around Jeongguk’s index and middle fingers.

Jeongguk moans around him and sucks him down again. As Jeongguk lowers himself, Hoseok tightens his grip on Jeongguk’s hair and shoves Jeongguk down harder, lower, choking Jeongguk, taking Jeongguk’s fingers deeper into his mouth at the same time.

He keeps Jeongguk at the base of his cock, watching his back muscles contract with the effort of holding him down. Spit slides down to Hoseok’s balls, Jeongguk gags, but Hoseok keeps him there anyway, sucking up and down on Jeongguk’s fingers all the while, getting them as wet as he can.

When he finally lets go of Jeongguk’s hair, Jeongguk pulls off with a gasp, panting.

“Good boy,” Hoseok says, voice rough. “Now put these inside you,” he lets go of Jeongguk’s hand.

Not pausing to think for a moment, Jeongguk lowers his arm, pulling his sweatpants away from his skin with his dry hand and sliding the wet one beneath them. Then, he wraps his lips around Hoseok’s tip again, and Hoseok has to tug him off by the hair. He’s too close.

“Tell me when you push in,” Hoseok says.

Jeongguk nuzzles his cheek against Hoseok’s shaft, closes his eyes and whimpers, “Now.”

“How deep?” Hoseok asks, placing his palm on the side of his own cock and pressing it more firmly against Jeongguk’s cheek.

Jeongguk’s eyebrows furrow, his jaw clenching tightly, “They’re deep.”

“They?” Hoseok asks.

Jeongguk nods, turning his head and mouthing at Hoseok’s shaft.

“You put them both in,” Hoseok whispers.

“Was I not supposed to?” Jeongguk’s eyes open.

Jeongguk’s bicep flexes, and he moans.

Hoseok’s cock throbs so hard, it distracts him, precome sliding down his slit and wetting Jeongguk’s cheek.

Jeongguk opens his mouth, tries to take Hoseok’s tip into it again, but Hoseok doesn’t let him, moving his cock away.

“I thought you wanted me to keep you warm while I touched myself,” Jeongguk says quietly, sounding almost hurt.

“If you put me in your mouth again right now,” Hoseok grunts when Jeongguk nuzzles his nose against his cock, “I will come.”

“Hyung,” Jeongguk moans, hips grinding back and forth, eyes glazed over. “You’re good to me.”

Hoseok frowns, cups Jeongguk’s jaw, “Of course I am.”

“You’re so good,” Jeongguk exhales, touching his tongue to Hoseok’s shaft softly.

“So are you,” Hoseok lets him.

“I wanna be good to you,” Jeongguk’s bicep flexes again, and he moans.

“You are,” Hoseok says. “But be quieter. I don’t want them hearing you.”

Jeongguk nods, whispering, “Okay.”

This time, when Jeongguk’s arm moves behind him, he moans quietly with his lips closed.

“Good,” Hoseok exhales.

“What else?” Jeongguk asks, gently nudging Hoseok’s cock with his cheek.

Hoseok frowns, confused.

“I wanna be good to you,” Jeongguk repeats. “What else do you want me to do?”

Hoseok gulps, his heart suddenly clenching tightly in his chest.

This is… too good. This fantasy is suddenly too real. Jeongguk is… too good.

“How far are you willing to take it?” Hoseok asks roughly, seriously.

Jeongguk inhales shakily, his eyes widening slightly, “I… I don’t know.”

Hoseok licks his lips.

“I’ll…” Jeongguk’s hips push back, and his brow furrows. “I’ll tell you if it’s too much?”

For one second, reason overrides instinct for Hoseok, and he considers.

There’s no way back from this. They’re far too deep in to be able to pretend like it didn’t happen afterward. And Hoseok wouldn’t want to anyway. He was open to moving things forward from the beginning. Just didn’t know where to. He’s not sure how far he’s willing to take it. But if he’s in the lead, then he shouldn’t worry about it, and if Jeongguk is going to say no if he does too much…

“Push your pants down,” Hoseok says. “Underwear too. I wanna see how far gone you are.”

Another second passes – Jeongguk considering too. And it’s this moment of clarity and consideration from Jeongguk that puts confidence back into Hoseok, knowing that Jeongguk is not too far gone to make decisions. Not yet.

With one last nuzzle against Hoseok’s cock, Jeongguk pulls his hand out from beneath his pants, whimpering, then rises up on his knees. Or tries to. He places his hands on his own thighs, pushes himself up an inch, then sinks back down, exhaling roughly. Too long sitting on his heels.

When Hoseok takes hold of Jeongguk’s biceps, he’s not thinking about it, only aiming to help him lift himself up. And Jeongguk does manage to hold himself with Hoseok’s help, his hands still braced on his thighs, his head down. It’s just that Hoseok didn’t realize how close they would end up when Jeongguk looked up.

Their faces are a few inches apart. Too close. Not close enough. Hoseok didn’t plan to push for kissing, but, looking at Jeongguk’s lips… he can imagine he’d taste himself on Jeongguk’s tongue.

And Jeongguk is looking at Hoseok’s lips too, his hands moving – slowly, distractedly – to his hips, thumbs hooking underneath his waistband. Hoseok’s hands slide up from Jeongguk’s biceps to his neck, wrapping around it, leaning his head back.

He might have actually kissed Jeongguk. He might have, had Jeongguk not been sliding his pants and underwear down, his cock smacking up against his stomach, awkwardly lifting his knees and shoving his pants and underwear off them, moving them both to the side, naked now except for his shirt. There’s no way for Hoseok to not look. And what he’s seeing– Jeongguk’s hard cock, curved up to his stomach, red at the tip, glistening with precome, twitching up and down sharply under Hoseok’s gaze…

“Give me your hand again,” Hoseok says distractedly, then tears himself away and reaches for Jeongguk’s bedside drawer where he spotted the lube earlier.

When he turns back, Jeongguk’s eyes are wide, his hand up and ready. Hoseok snaps the cap of the lube bottle open and squeezes some onto Jeongguk’s fingers. Then, he takes Jeongguk’s chin in his hand, brings them close again, looks into his eyes-

“Get them all the way in,” Hoseok says.

Jeongguk whimpers and reaches behind himself.

He doesn’t sit back on his heels, and Hoseok doesn’t ask him for it. They stay right there – close enough that when Jeongguk slides his fingers into himself, Hoseok feels Jeongguk’s exhale puff out over his face.

“All the way,” Hoseok repeats quietly, and Jeongguk nods, his eyebrows furrowing.

It’s only when Jeongguk’s arm stops moving that Hoseok turns his gaze away. Their faces stay close, and Hoseok considers, his eyebrows knitting together, he really, really considers kissing Jeongguk, but for some reason, that feels like crossing a line that Jeongguk did not give him permission to cross. So, he holds back and wraps his fingers around the nape of Jeongguk’s neck instead, bending Jeongguk forward, bringing Jeongguk’s head to his chest.

Jeongguk’s knees slide further apart, and his back arches, dipping deep enough for Hoseok to see where Jeongguk’s two fingers are all the way inside himself. Hoseok doesn’t even try holding back from grunting. He lays his palms on Jeongguk’s back, sliding them down on either side of Jeongguk’s spine over his shirt – down, down, down, until Jeongguk is pressed even closer to Hoseok, and Hoseok’s hands are on Jeongguk’s ass.

“Finger yourself,” Hoseok says and pulls Jeongguk’s ass cheeks apart to watch more closely.

Whimpering, Jeongguk does what he says. Because of course he would. Because he’s a good boy, and he follows instructions and loves following instructions. Hoseok feels Jeongguk nudge his cock with his lips again – still hard, so hard – but ignores it. He’s less on the edge now, managed to relax during this little break. Might be able to let Jeongguk cock warm again without coming too soon.

Jeongguk only mouths at him though, doesn’t try to suck, and Hoseok is too entranced with the shine of the lube around Jeongguk’s rim every time his fingers push into him to think about coming anyway.

“So fucking hot,” he whispers.

“Yeah?” Jeongguk asks, his back arching even further.

“Yeah,” Hoseok exhales. “Suck me.”

And Jeongguk does, taking Hoseok’s cock into his mouth. Hoseok keeps one hand on Jeongguk’s ass but brings the other up to hold the back of Jeongguk’s neck, moving Jeongguk down onto his cock.

“Keep fingering yourself,” Hoseok says when Jeongguk stops, shoving his head further. “And take my cock deep.”

Jeongguk’s fingers move in and out of his hole for a few more seconds, then he chokes on Hoseok’s cock, and they stop moving again. Loosening the pressure on Jeongguk’s neck, Hoseok lets him breathe, expects him to pull off, but Jeongguk only moves back slightly, takes a few deep breaths then takes him in again. So, Hoseok shoves him down.

His fingers are not moving though.

“Too hard to concentrate on both things at once?” Hoseok asks, voice rough.

Jeongguk nods, pulling up to breathe again, then sinking back down.

“Pull your fingers out then,” Hoseok tells him

Jeongguk whimpers, suddenly thrusting them into himself again, pausing his movement on Hoseok’s cock.

“Not a punishment, I promise. You’re doing perfect,” Hoseok whispers. “Pull them out and focus on choking yourself.”

With another whimper, Jeongguk does, bracing one hand on the mattress, the other wrapping around the base of Hoseok’s shaft. For a few seconds, Hoseok doesn’t move. He watches Jeongguk’s hole gape, tightening and opening again, needy for something to be inside of it. It’s so hot.

Then, taking a deep breath, Hoseok lets go of Jeongguk’s neck, trusting him to keep choking himself – which he does – and picks up the lube again, opening it, turning it and squeezing it right over Jeongguk’s hole. It twitches when the lube reaches it, clenching tightly, not expecting the sudden cold. And then it gapes open again, the lube slides into it, Jeongguk takes Hoseok’s cock right down to the base, and Hoseok is the one who moans too loudly.

Three fingers right away, the tips dipping into Jeongguk’s hole. Hoseok knows Jeongguk has no interest in Hoseok taking things easy with him. So, three fingers, stretching Jeongguk wider. Jeongguk pulls off Hoseok’s cock and moans, sounding like it’s all pleasure and no pain, so Hoseok slides his fingers in deeper, bending himself forward to get them all the way into Jeongguk.

And Jeongguk, somehow knowing it would help, cants his hips up, allowing Hoseok to press even deeper into him.

“Good boy, Jeongguk, fuck,” Hoseok says, and when Jeongguk’s lips wrap around his tip again, Hoseok snaps, “Don’t,” Jeongguk takes his mouth off him. “I’m too close.”

He spreads his fingers inside of Jeongguk, watching his pink hole stretch wider apart.

Jeongguk exhales, laying his head on Hoseok’s thigh.

“Good?” Hoseok asks, curling his fingers.

Jeongguk whines into his thigh. There are a few moments of complete silence from Jeongguk after that, Hoseok moving his fingers, stretching him. Then a few more moments. And then Jeongguk gasps, and Hoseok freezes, because it sounds like Jeongguk’s sobbing.

“Kook?” Hoseok whispers, keeping his fingers still.

But Jeongguk pushes back onto his hand, moaning brokenly.

“Look at me,” Hoseok says.

But Jeongguk doesn’t.

“Jeongguk,” Hoseok says, and Jeongguk shakes his head. “Baby, look up at me.”

Jeongguk whimpers and lifts his head, looking at Hoseok.

Hoseok’s breath catches in his throat. Jeongguk is crying. There are tear streaks down his cheeks. There’s spit all over his chin and down his neck. His eyes are red-rimmed and half-closed, tired. But his lips are even redder, puffy after sucking on Hoseok’s cock for so long.

“Hyung,” Jeongguk chokes out, and his voice is raspy and broken and abused.

Speechless. Hoseok’s heart pounds. He’s torn between thinking that this is the most attractive thing he has ever seen and being worried about Jeongguk’s physical and mental wellbeing. Can’t say anything. Can’t even think.

“Hyung,” Jeongguk repeats, whispering it, and Hoseok only has one moment to register Jeongguk letting go of his cock, bracing his other hand on the mattress as well, driving himself up and shoving his lips onto Hoseok’s.

It’s harsh. So harsh. Jeongguk’s lips are smooshed against his, and for a moment, Hoseok is too shocked to respond.

When he finally does though, Jeongguk’s kiss softens, relaxes. And then, Hoseok parts his lips, and Jeongguk does the same, and they’re kissing, and Hoseok is overcome with so many intense emotions, he doesn’t even know what to do with himself.

Kissing Jeongguk is suddenly the only thing that he wants. He slides his fingers out of Jeongguk’s hole, feels Jeongguk’s whimper vibrate against his mouth, places both of his palms on Jeongguk’s jaw, tilts Jeongguk’s head higher, and licks into Jeongguk’s mouth.

And Jeongguk doesn’t complain about the emptiness inside him, doesn’t ask Hoseok to put his fingers back. He seems just as desperate to be kissed as Hoseok is to kiss him, shoving himself up higher, raising himself up onto his knees, shuffling, his arms shaking so badly as he does that Hoseok can actually feel the mattress vibrate on either side of him.

It brings Jeongguk closer to him, makes it easier to kiss him more deeply. But it’s not enough. It’s just not enough.

So, Hoseok lets go of Jeongguk’s cheeks, wraps his arms around Jeongguk’s waist, stops kissing him, grunts out the word “up”, and tugs. Yelping, Jeongguk grabs Hoseok by the shoulders as Hoseok lifts him off the floor, force of will and desperation somehow giving him the strength to do it.

Jeongguk’s knees land painfully on Hoseok’s thighs, but then Jeongguk spreads his legs, sliding them down to the bed on either side of Hoseok, straightens his back, towering over Hoseok, his palms wrapping around Hoseok’s neck, leaning down to meet Hoseok’s lips again, and Hoseok doesn’t give a shit about the pain. He spreads his own thighs farther apart, his pants and underwear sliding down to his ankles, wraps his fingers around Jeongguk’s waist tightly and kisses him and kisses him and doesn’t think about anything but kissing him.

The spit and tears on Jeongguk’s face smear onto Hoseok’s face as well, and when Hoseok’s tongue slides into Jeongguk’s mouth, the mess just gets worse. But neither of them cares. The messiness of it all somehow makes it even hotter.

The only thing that isn’t right is Jeongguk still having fucking clothes on him. So, Hoseok grabs the hem of Jeongguk’s shirt and tugs on it. For a few seconds, Jeongguk doesn’t move, continuing to kiss Hoseok, but then he finally gives in, pulls away and lets Hoseok take his shirt off him. Hoseok’s shirt goes next, Jeongguk jerking it off Hoseok and tossing it onto the floor.

And they’re kissing again. Jeongguk’s fingers drag down Hoseok’s back, his nails digging into Hoseok’s skin, and Hoseok grabs Jeongguk’s ass, spreading him apart, wanting to put his fingers into Jeongguk again. But when Jeongguk shifts, lowers himself, grinds his hips, and Hoseok’s cock touches his soaking wet hole, suddenly, it’s not his fingers that Hoseok wants to put inside him.

He doesn’t have time to overthink it, to wonder about whether or not it’s appropriate for him to be wanting it, not when Jeongguk is reaching an arm behind himself, finding Hoseok’s shaft, wrapping his fingers around it, and holding it up so he can rub his hole against the tip of it. Jeongguk’s head falls back, lips disconnecting from Hoseok’s, and he moans.

They’re both panting. Jeongguk looks down at Hoseok, and Hoseok places his palms on Jeongguk’s cheeks, rubbing his thumbs across Jeongguk’s cheekbones. The sudden uncertainty feels ridiculous. All it would take for him to be inside of Jeongguk would be to move his hips up. Jeongguk is already holding him right up against his hole. But there’s no condom, and Hoseok is not sure if there’s enough lube inside of Jeongguk to keep this more pleasurable than painful. So there’s a pause where they just look at each other, breathing hard, suspended in time.

Hoseok nuzzles his nose against Jeongguk’s, touching their foreheads together.

“Anything you want,” Hoseok whispers. “I’ll give you anything you want, however you want it.”

“Anything?” Jeongguk breathes.

“Anything,” and he means it.

They both gasp when Hoseok’s tip squeezes into Jeongguk’s hole, Jeongguk pushing himself down onto it. Jeongguk’s eyes roll back, his mouth slack. Warmth spreads up Hoseok’s body. He’s on edge in an instant, swearing under his breath and kissing Jeongguk’s lax lips.

Not even halfway in, Jeongguk pauses.

“Hyung,” he chokes out. “I’m gonna come.”

“Yeah? Already?” Hoseok asks, and Jeongguk nods. “I’m close too.”

Jeongguk inhales shakily, “No, like- right now. I’m-“

His nails dig into Hoseok’s back, and Hoseok looks between their bodies, Jeongguk hissing above him. The tip of Jeongguk’s cock is dark red, almost purple. There’s so much precome, it’s actually sliding down Jeongguk’s shaft. It takes all the strength in Hoseok’s body to not thrust up.

He looks up at Jeongguk.

“Don’t come,” he tells Jeongguk. An order. “You come right now, it’ll be a ruined orgasm for you, and that’ll make me mad.”

Jeongguk’s eyes widen, he gulps, and nods, his hole tightening around Hoseok’s cock.

“You can come when I’m all the way inside you, fucking you as good as you deserve to be fucked,” Hoseok says. “Then and only then.”

Taking a deep breath, Jeongguk nods again. Another deep breath, then he slides an inch down Hoseok’s cock and stops again, eyes widening, shaking his head.

“Can’t,” Jeongguk says, panicked. “I can’t.”

The noise that leaves Hoseok is nothing short of a growl.

He wraps his arms around Jeongguk’s torso tightly, pulling Jeongguk flush against his chest, the tip of Jeongguk’s cock touching Hoseok’s stomach, Jeongguk letting out another panicked sound in response. Hoseok ignores it in favor of bracing his feet flat against the floor and readying himself.

“Hold on tight and come hard,” is all that Hoseok says before snapping his hips and driving his cock all the way into Jeongguk.

Jeongguk’s moan is so loud it’s practically a wail, and fleetingly, Hoseok thinks about how there’s no way the others didn’t hear it, but god, he doesn’t care. His thrusting is ruthless. Brutal. They could have used more lube to ease the way. But Jeongguk keeps moaning loudly, leaving lines of burning heat up Hoseok’s back with his fingernails, his body clamping tightly around Hoseok’s cock, and then his voice breaks, he sobs, and starts coming onto their stomachs.

And Hoseok doesn’t stop. Not just because he wants to drag this out for Jeongguk but because he’s so close. Fuck, he’s almost there. Just a few more thrusts, a little more, and he’ll be right there with Jeongguk. But Jeongguk sobs again, gasping into Hoseok’s ear, and Hoseok worries he’s going too hard, so slows down.

“No, no, no, don’t stop, don’t stop,” Jeongguk begs and shoves himself down onto Hoseok’s cock. “Please come. Please, hyung.”

Growling, Hoseok picks up the speed again, burying his face into Jeongguk’s shoulder and thrusting.

Hard. Deep. Wet. Jeongguk moaning brokenly in his ear. Hoseok’s head is spinning.

“Please, please, please,” Jeongguk whimpers. “Fuck me. Come in me. I want it. I want it so bad. I really, really want it, hyung, please.”

Hoseok comes. He hisses, drives himself all the way inside of Jeongguk and holds Jeongguk in place as he throbs inside of him, body trembling, wave after wave of orgasm crashing through him, filling Jeongguk up. Jeongguk is gasping, his hole spasming around Hoseok’s, milking it, getting as much out of Hoseok as he has to give.

When the intensity starts subsiding, Hoseok’s hips move on their own accord, weakly thrusting up into Jeongguk while his cock is still somewhat hard.

Amazingly, Jeongguk doesn’t stop him, regardless of how sensitive he must be right now. He lets Hoseok fuck into him, lets him use his already tired body for more, even going as far as to grind himself on Hoseok’s cock.

“You’re incredible,” Hoseok tells Jeongguk’s shoulder.

Jeongguk lets out a happy-sounding exhale.

One last thrust, and Hoseok’s body relaxes.

Hoseok turns his head to see him, lighting up when he sees that – ruined as he looks – Jeongguk is smiling.

“Never had a better sub,” Hoseok tells him honestly, reaching up to brush Jeongguk’s hair back from his sweaty forehead.

“Really?” Jeongguk’s smile subsides, his eyes widening with emotion.

Hoseok nods, and suddenly, Jeongguk gulps and looks away.

“Hey,” Hoseok calls.

“Sorry,” Jeongguk sniffs. “I just…” he sniffs again, raises his hips, Hoseok’s cock slipping out of him.

When he tries to get off Hoseok, his body stiff, something clearly wrong, Hoseok doesn’t let him get away. He has no idea what Jeongguk is thinking, no idea what got him so distant so fast when he looked so happy barely a few seconds ago, but he knows he can’t let Jeongguk just leave. Not after this.

And then it hits him.

“Get down on your knees,” Hoseok says.

Jeongguk’s head turns towards him sharply.

“That wasn’t a question,” Hoseok adds.

Jeongguk blinks at him for a few seconds, his mouth opening and closing. Hoseok waits. His heart is pounding, nervous that he might be wrong, but he waits, counting on Jeongguk’s desire to be good, to follow instructions.

The patience pays off. Jeongguk slowly lowers himself to the floor between Hoseok’s legs and looks up at him.

Hoseok’s cock is completely soft when he wraps his fingers around it, soft and slippery with his own come. He drags his fingers up it, getting as much of the come as he can, wiping it off on the sheets beside him and wrapping his hand around himself again. His other hand, he places at the side of Jeongguk’s head gently.

“Just the tip,” Hoseok whispers.

Jeongguk gulps, his eyebrows furrowing deeply, bottom lip wobbling for a moment before he licks it and opens his mouth.

“I won’t make you talk about what’s making you wanna run away right now,” Hoseok says, flinching when Jeongguk’s lips wrap around him- oversensitive. “I’m just gonna tell you that I don’t want you running away.”

Jeongguk’s eyes close. Hoseok runs his fingers through Jeongguk’s sweaty hair.

“Take a deep breath,” Hoseok says, and Jeongguk inhales deeply through his nose. “The best sub I’ve ever had. I mean that.”

Jeongguk’s eyebrows furrow deeply in response, but he stays where he is, cock warming on his knees, lips around a soft cock, exactly how he wanted it.

“I never knew it was possible to be so compatible with someone so quickly,” Hoseok babbles on.

Jeongguk opens his eyes, and Hoseok smiles at him fondly.

He bends forward, wanting to kiss the top of Jeongguk’s head and quickly realizing that Jeongguk is too low for him to reach without slipping out of Jeongguk’s mouth. Jeongguk seems to misinterpret what Hoseok was planning to do though, his eyes suddenly widening, pulling off Hoseok’s cock, tilting his head up and meeting Hoseok’s lips in a kiss.

Luckily, Hoseok’s surprise passes quickly enough for Jeongguk to not notice. He kisses back, cradling Jeongguk’s head in his hands and realizing that this must have been what was worrying Jeongguk – or one of the things at least – not knowing what this meant for them, where things are going to next.

Parting his lips against Jeongguk’s, Hoseok tries thinking about it but can’t. He doesn’t know where things are going to go either. All he knows is that-

“I’m here,” he whispers, laying his forehead onto Jeongguk’s. “You’re not alone,” he adds and watches Jeongguk’s eyebrows furrow again. “Not when you’re with me. You know that, right?”

After a second, Jeongguk nods shakily.

“This has been…” Hoseok shakes his head, “one of the most intense things that have ever happened to me. In the best way,” he exhales a laugh. “It felt right.”

Jeongguk gulps.

“It still feels right right now,” Hoseok corrects.

Inhaling shakily, Jeongguk nods again.

“I don’t know where this is gonna go,” Hoseok says. “I don’t. But I do know that if you wanted to do it again, I’d be here,” he searches Jeongguk’s eyes and sees only surprise in them. “Whether you wanna ride my dick for longer than one minute,” he aims for a laugh and actually gets one, Jeongguk exhaling sharply and smiling. “Or whether you want to be on your knees in front of me for a while or holding my cock in your mouth for as long as you need it.”

Jeongguk’s smile disappears, and Hoseok kisses him again. He has no idea where this would go, but he desperately wants to find out. Compatibility like this really has never happened to him before. Such intense possessiveness, the need to protect and care for so badly never has either. That has to mean something. He feels in the pit of his stomach that it means something. Something big.

And when Jeongguk finally moves away from the kiss and sinks lower onto his knees, taking Hoseok’s soft cock into his mouth all on his own, Hoseok’s heart surging with pride of all things, Hoseok knows for sure it means something.

“As long as you need,” Hoseok says, taking a deep breath, indulgingly brushing his fingers through Jeongguk’s hair again and thinking about how he could spend hours like this and relish every second of it.