Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

“Where is that useless trash?”

Xie Lian looked up from where he had been peeling potatoes at the sound of his master's voice. He had been working for this master long enough now to know this was not his someone fucked up and is going to get beat tone, but his I’m fucked if I don’t solve this problem tone.

“You!” Xie Lian’s master sneered and pointed at him. Immediately Xie Lian dropped his knife and kowtowed. “We’re down a server tonight. Get ready with the others quickly or else.”

“Yes, Master.” Xie Lian answered immediately and scurried out of the palace kitchen. Not wanting to be on the receiving end of his master’s ire, he took the quickest path to the servants' quarters. Admittedly, it was not a path many of his status often took since slaves were supposed to be used but not seen, but Xie Lian knew the palace better than anyone else.

He had grown up playing in these halls, laughing and carefree when his father had been King. Xie Lian used to sneak into the kitchens all the time as a child to take sweets and share them with the servant’s children. He was not allowed to have friends among the serving staff, but he loved the way the children would look at him with wide grateful eyes as he snuck into the servants’ quarters with treats. None of the servants or caretakers ever scolded him for doing so. At the time, he was the beloved crown prince of Xianle. But that was a long time ago.

Xie Lian had been seventeen when the war broke out. In the early days, his father had assured him that the war was nothing for him to worry about. Just some barbarians throwing a fit. Then, those barbarians began to sway the people’s minds and won their loyalty. Xie Lian remembered sneaking out of the palace gates once to go to one of the rallies he had overheard was taking place. He remembered seeing a large man with heavy armour talking about how those in power were in charge only because they were born into wealth, while those who worked for a living had none. He proposed a new form of rule where anyone could have power if one were strong enough. That the wealthy should not hold power but the powerful.

His father did everything he could to quell the rebellion, but in the end, he had fallen, and the Kingdom of Xianle fell along with him. Xie Lian had been kidnapped and sold into slavery shortly after, and it was a miracle no one had discovered his identity at the time. He kept thinking that any day someone would realize who he was and execute him like they had his parents. However, Xie Lian had quickly learned that anyone who had really known him died along with the kingdom or was likely sold into slavery themselves.

There was an unspoken rule among the others in chains. Do not talk about life before the rebellion, and never let someone know your true identity. In fact, many of them stopped talking altogether. It was not a good life by any means, but Xie Lian supposed he was grateful to be alive, and that was more than he could say for others.

As a slave, Xie Lian had no rights in the new regime. He was nothing more than an item to be bartered and used as his masters pleased. His first master was a farmer who won his land by challenging the previous owner to a duel in the pits. The new laws allowed any citizen to challenge others for just about anything: wealth, prestige, but most of all, glory.

Another had defeated that master about a year later, who, upon collecting his spoils, took stock of his slaves and gifted the ‘pretty ones’ as he had called them to his friends. Then that master had traded Xie Lian after roughly two years of service to settle a debt with his current master, a heavy lump of a man who worked for the King.

Xie Lian still was not exactly clear on how his master was related to the current King, but he assumed there was some family connection. His master was not strong or fit enough to enter the pits to win favour for himself, but he used his position with the King to land himself and his servants’ jobs in the palace. Thus, Xie Lian was often tasked with helping in the kitchens, cleaning the stables, and doing other dirty jobs of the sort. Usually, it was the female slaves that served the wine and food since the King liked the look of them the best.

The new King had been one of the rebel leaders that won his title as King by slaying his competitors. Xie Lian had heard it had been a vicious tournament for the crown that lasted many days and nights. Now with the new laws, anyone could challenge the King for his title. However, no one had been brave enough to do so, and Xie Lian did not think anyone would. He was a terrifying sight. As tall as a house with large bulging muscles that looked as though they could crush any enemy without the use of a weapon. Xie Lian did his best to avoid being around the King at all costs. Scared he would be recognized, yes, but also just scared of him in general. Only a madman would challenge such a beast.

When Xie Lian made it to the servants’ quarters, the others motioned him to bathe quickly and helped him get ready without a word. They adorned him in a white scantily clad servant outfit, delicate silver jewelry, lightly scented rosewater, and red gossamer silks speckled with gold. The crimson fabric was so sheer it almost felt wet to the touch. The silk was exquisite, covering half of his face, and connected to a beautiful silver headpiece and metal cuffs that attached to his wrists and forearm. Xie Lian thought it kind of looked like a cape by the way it flowed behind him.

As he scanned the faces of the servant girls, he checked to see if he could recognize who among them was missing. It did not take long for Xie Lian to realize the new girl, a short young thing that looked too frail and scared, was nowhere to be seen. Xie Lian prayed she was okay, but he feared for her. Likely suffering from their master's whip or the attention of one of the King's many guests, either scenario made Xie Lian feel ill.

He felt so useless. Although he was no longer a crown prince, these were still his people being forced to suffer horrible fates beyond their control. Xie Lian had always wanted to help the common people. He had wanted to use his title as King to bring about an age of prosperity and hope to the Kingdom. He had wanted to be remembered as a ruler that pleased all. Now no one remembered him at all.

He supposed that was better for him, considering his current position. However, even though Xie Lian had spent the last decade in chains, he could not forget who he was and the responsibilities he had been raised to bear. He wanted to do more; he longed to do more. But right now, all he could do was do as he was told and try not to mess anything up. Now he had to live every day serving the man who stole his birthright, murdered his family, and enslaved his people.

Maybe him becoming a slave was divine intervention, a punishment Xie Lian had to bear every day. Nevertheless, he had quickly adapted in order to survive, learned how to act, when to speak, where to withhold. His masters had never been kind, but they were always more bearable to serve when Xie Lian had performed the way they wanted him to. Especially his current master. If Xie Lian and the others obeyed him perfectly, his master wouldn’t usually add to their suffering needlessly.

But lately, his master had been more agitated. Beating and abusing his slaves for no reason other than to vent his frustrations. This had happened a few times over the years when his master had done something to fall out of favour with the King, but he always managed to worm his way back into the King's good graces. For all their sakes, Xie Lian hoped that whatever his master had done would be forgiven soon.

Once they were ready to go, Xie Lian followed the other slaves to meet their master for inspection. One could practically smell the fear and anxiety in the room as their master probed and scrutinized their appearances. He was particularly harsh tonight, adjusting their outfits to be even more revealing than they already were and reprimanding those he thought looked too frightened.

“You’re nothing but a shadow.” He reminded them coolly. “You do not speak unless spoken to. You do not let any emotions show. But above all else, you do what you are told no matter what. Got that?”

“Yes, Master.” They all replied in unison. Xie Lian had heard the same speech almost nightly but tonight was different. His master sounded off. He did not have much experience serving the King's guests, but Xie Lian had spent his life around servants. They should be okay tonight if he could pull on that experience and do as he was told. Hopefully, whatever was distracting his master so would not affect them too negatively.

After being handed a jar of wine and assigned a table, Xie Lian followed his fellow slaves to the main ballroom. It always stung walking the halls of his old home. To see rooms, he used to laugh and enjoy the warmth of his parents now host to the ones that took their lives. The ballroom was exceptionally difficult. The beautiful gold chandeliers had been replaced by antlers and teeth of slain beasts and the white marbled floors covered in their furs. A portrait of his parents still hung where it once did above the head table, but it had long been defaced by tossed food and wine.

Xie Lian did his best to keep his emotions in check by solely focusing his attention on pouring glass after glass of wine and keeping his gaze off most of the room. Music was playing, women were dancing and stripping for entertainment, and conversations were flowing. However, it was hard not to listen to the slurs of the men he served. They were obnoxiously loud in their praise of some general being honoured tonight.

“The man’s a demon if you ask me,” one man proclaimed in hushed tones to his companion. “Challenges others just for the fun of it. No wonder the King loves him.”

“I heard –” his companion paused, looking for a moment as if he was going to be ill from too much liquor, then gesturing to Xie Lian to pour more. “I heard that despite fighting in the pits for only a few years, he’s fought in more matches than any other general.”

The guests at the table gasped. “There’s no way!” One of them muttered. “I believe it!” Said another.

“I heard that his wealth is only second to the King’s.” Someone else proclaimed from the other side of the table.

“Ha!” Another scoffed. “I heard that one of the other generals suggested in private that General Hua was planning to challenge the King!”

That remark caused the table to burst into cries of outrage.

“General Hua would never!”

“He loves the King!”

“He’s mad but not crazy!”

“I know!” The man continued. “No one knows how he heard of it! They believe he has spies all over the kingdom.”

“What happened to that general?” One asked.

“General Hua challenged the bastard, of course! Murdered them in cold blood then claimed all the man owned!”

The men cheered.

They were consuming wine faster than Xie Lian could keep their glasses full, yet the lavish feast in front of them remained untouched. The other slave assigned to the table kept running back and forth from the kitchens to bring Xie Lian new jugs. They kept declaring and praising the same general, and from the picture they painted, Xie Lian loathed this General Hua. He sounded like he represented everything Xie Lian hated about the new regime, and he wished never to have to meet such a man.

Conversations moved on to other subjects eventually. If the men were not praising someone for killing someone else, they were proclaiming their admiration, and filthy thoughts towards the women forced to dance and serve them. Xie Lian tried not to let their words stick, but their comments of that general stayed with him as the party started to wind down.

Some of the men at his table had passed out, while the others were on their way to follow their companions. They had consumed an alarming amount over that evening, and those still conscious were now demanding water over wine and digging into the feast. Xie Lian filled their glasses as he was told but found himself less busy for the first time that night. His curiosity got the better of him, and as stealthy as he could, Xie Lian skimmed the crowd for the guest of honour.

It did not take long for Xie Lian to find him. He was seated right next to the King, a look of smug malice adorning his face as he nodded along to whatever the King was saying. Then, as if sensing someone's glare, General Hua turned away from the King and met Xie Lian’s gaze head-on. They were quite a distance from one another, but from what Xie Lian could see, he could have sworn he saw General Hua’s eyes focus on him, then widen in shock or recognition. Terror gripped Xie Lian’s heart. He looked away as fast as he could, but he feared the damage had already been done. Then, with trembling hands, Xie Lian finished his job for the night without daring to look back at the gaze he swore he felt watching his every move.

Tired yet terrified, Xie Lian found himself unable to shake the look of the man's eyes that night nor that morning when he had begun his work in the stables without a wink of sleep. He was slow, and it was only a matter of time before someone reported his sloppy work to his master for punishment. The sun had just passed midday when Xie Lian’s master came looking for him.

Xie Lian expected this and feared what his future had in store for him.

“You.” His master grumbled. “Were you the filth that replaced that useless girl for last night's event?”

“Yes, Master.” Xie Lian answered from the ground. His face was pressed so hard into the soil some of the dirt from the stable floors coated his mouth as he spoke.

His master seemed to pause. It was likely for only a moment, but to Xie Lian, it felt like an eternity. “Get up and come with me.”

Xie Lian was shocked. He expected a thorough flogging before being dragged to wherever it was they executed slaves like himself. Apprehension turned in Xie Lian’s gut uncomfortably as he followed his master back inside the palace. The fear of the unknown always terrified Xie Lian more than anything else.

His master led him to an area of the palace that used to be a lavish guest bath his parents used to allow honoured guests to use. His clothes were peeled away, and his skin was plucked and polished to perfection. No one told him why he was being prepared in such a way, but Xie Lian wasn't so naive. He had gone this long without being forced into prostitution, but why now?

He had no right to ask, and his master said nothing as the other slaves readied him in the same outfit from the previous night. When they finished, his master approached him, his pointed gaze boring into every inch of Xie Lian’s body. The intensity of his stare made Xie Lian’s skin crawl, but he did not let his discomfort show on his face.

“I guess this will have to do.” His master announced finally, taking a step back. “Now listen to me very closely, you worthless flea.”

Xie Lian didn’t dare breathe too loud, afraid of missing a word.

“Someone very important has requested your company tonight. You are to serve him in any way he desires, no matter the request. If you do anything at all to embarrass me, I will have you whipped and tortured until you are begging for death. Do you understand me?”

Xie Lian nodded hastily, not able to form words.

“You cannot mess this up for me.” His master continued, and for the first time, Xie Lian saw real fear in his eyes. “When I tell you to, kneel with your back straight and keep your eyes downcast until you are told otherwise. You are nothing but a doll for him to play with. An object for him to use however he sees fit. Do not speak, do not move, do not do anything without his saying so. Got it?”

“Yes, Master.” Xie Lian answered automatically.

“Good.” His master said, sounding somewhat relieved. As if Xie Lian was in any position to refuse or disobey him. “Let's not make him wait any longer then.”

On shaking limbs, Xie Lian stood and followed his master closely. He didn’t bother to pay attention to where his master was leading him. He was too frightened to do anything that wasn't putting one foot in front of the other.

When his master stopped, Xie Lian did not have to look up all that much to recognize the beautiful oak carved doors in front of him. Behind the doors of his childhood bedroom awaited a man his master feared. Where he once sought comfort and rest every morning and every night would now become a place where he would be forced to do unspeakable things. Xie Lian felt a wave of nausea hit him, and his vision went blurry.

His master knocked on the doors, and they opened immediately. Two sets of bare feet came into view with metal shackles around their ankles. They were the symbols of their status as slaves, and Xie Lian knew without looking that they would have a matching collar around their necks that matched his. Initially, getting used to wearing the shackles was a nuisance, but now they were as much a part of Xie Lian as his hair or fingernails. The skin around his neck and ankles had long hardened to the point where he almost forgot how they chaffed him.

“Where is your master?” Xie Lian’s master asked more calmly than Xie Lian had ever heard him speak.

“In the bedchamber, your lordship.”

Xie Lian heard the tinkle of bells as the slaves moved aside to let them pass. It had been so long since he had been in his bedroom, he never believed that he would be able to see this place again. Without lifting his gaze, Xie Lian noted that the carpets and some of the furnishings looked to be the same. A lot of the main areas of the palace had been remodelled and redecorated according to the current King’s tastes, and Xie Lian didn’t know if it hurt more or less to know that his room had somehow been left how it was.

When the doors to the bedroom opened, he only made it in a few steps before his master whispered for him to kneel. He did so obediently as he had been instructed and waited anxiously for what would come next.

“General Hua.” His master said, in a voice so syrupy sweet and strange to Xie Lian’s ear. “It’s a pleasure to be in your supreme presence once again. This one hopes to have brought the item you requested?”

Aside from the frantic pounding of his own heart, Xie Lian could hear the familiar sound of a sword being sharpened.

“Hmm,” General Hua hummed. He sounded bored, almost disinterested. Xie Lian didn't dare lift his gaze from the floor to check. “You may go.”

His master left the room without another word, leaving Xie Lian alone with General Hua and his servants. He could still hear the man sharpening his sword, and the occasional tinkle of bells as the other slaves busied themselves around the room. It was not uncommon for slaves to be forced to wear trinkets upon their masters' request. Some were, dressed in beautiful silks, while others were lucky if they were even given clothes. It was up to their masters what they wore, what they did, everything.

“Must I repeat myself?” General Hua inquired, so faintly and with such resentment, Xie Lian shivered.

The sound of the tinkling bells rushed towards where General Hua’s voice had come from, and Xie Lian felt the way the slaves threw themselves to the ground, the floor shaking with how hard they dropped.

“Apologies, Master.” They both said in unison.

“We did not hear Master's request.” One of them said shakily.

The sound of stone against metal halted. “I said, you may go.”

Xie Lian closed his eyes tight and did his absolute best to control his shaking. He was told not to move, not to look up, not to do anything until told otherwise. He tried to obey, to focus all his energy on staying still before his transgression was noticed.

“But the King –”

Slap

The blow was so piercing Xie Lian felt the phantom pain of the hit on his own cheek.

“Who is your master?” General Hua seethed with cold fury.

“You are!” The slaves cried, sounding terrified.

“The next time one of you dares to speak back to me, I will cut out your tongue and shove it down your throats.” General Hua’s tone turned amused as if describing their mutilation brought him great pleasure. “You won’t be able to suck the King’s cock as well anymore without it. He will grow bored of you both. Then neither of you whores would be of any use to me. Do you know what I do with useless trash?”

No one dared speak, the silence stretching on until it became uncomfortable.

“I dispose of it.” General Hua finally finished with more malevolence than Xie Lian thought a person capable of. “Now scram.”

The slaves practically sprinted out of the room, the sound of tinkling bells marking their movements until they were far enough away that Xie Lian could no longer hear them. Then, after a pregnant pause, Xie Lian heard General Hua stand, his boots thumping loudly on the wooden floor as he made his way to where Xie Lian was kneeling. He didn’t know what to expect. From what he had just overheard to the accounts he’d listened to the night before, Xie Lian awaited the worst.

He did not predict that General Hua would join him on the floor, nor the way the man would cradle and raise Xie Lian’s flushed cheeks in his cool hands as if handling precious jade. Hesitantly, Xie Lian opened his eyes and was met with the most affectionate gaze directed at him since the night his parents were murdered.

At first, General Hua just stared at him. A mix of warmth and wonderment wafting in his heterochromatic eyes. A thumb brushed Xie Lian’s cheek, and he belatedly realized he had started to cry. From fear or from General Hua’s gaze, Xie Lian was not sure.

General Hua put a finger to his lips gesturing for Xie Lian to remain quiet, and Xie Lian obeyed. Then, with more tenderness than Xie Lian was used to, General Hua helped him to his feet and ushered him to sit on a red and gold divan next to the balcony. The double doors were closed, but Xie Lian could look through the window at the visage below. This city view was nostalgic and gave him a sense of peace to hold onto as General Hua surveyed the room. Xie Lian was not sure what the general was looking for, but he stayed silent where he was and forced his emotions back into submission.

“My sincerest apologies.” General Hua said, the anger and ferocity gone entirely and replaced it with earnest affection. His back was to him, but Xie Lian could see his shoulders slump as if being weighed by a terrible burden. “It was not my intention to frighten you.”

There was no direct address in his words, so Xie Lian didn’t dare answer. Since his enslavement, no one had ever apologized to him, so he didn’t know how to respond, falling on his master's instructions to remain silent. Gradually, as if the movement pained him, General Hua turned to look at Xie Lian. It was automatic for Xie Lian to drop his gaze, out of fear but more out of habit.

General Hua calmly made his way towards the divan and sat next to Xie Lian.

“Please look at me.” General Hua whispered, and Xie Lian followed. Their eyes locked, and it took every piece of Xie Lian’s being to hold their gaze. It was hard for Xie Lian to get a read on General Hua. His expression seemed so earnest, so sincere, it made Xie Lian question his sanity, for surely, he’d gone mad.

“When we are alone in this room.” General Hua started then amended. “When I tell you that we are truly alone in this room as we are now, you are my equal.” Xie Lian’s confusion must have shown on his face despite his constant efforts to hide it. “I do not know what you have heard about me nor what your master has instructed you to do. For all I know, he told you to spy on me, and you will comply. But I do not want you to fear me. You are my equal when we are alone in this room, and I desire nothing but your comfort and well-being. Is that alright with you?”

Xie Lian had gotten so used to following orders, he forgot what it felt like to be given a choice. The request was absurd. He wasn't sure if this was some twisted game or genuine honesty, but Xie Lian found himself nodding regardless. “Yes, General Hua.”

“Please, don’t call me that.” General Hua said as if hearing his title from Xie Lian’s lips physically harmed him. “When we are alone, you may call me San Lang if you’d like.”

Nodding hesitantly, Xie Lian said, “Yes, San Lang.”

General Hua’s expression seemed to wither. Xie Lian did not know what he had done wrong, but just as he was about to apologize, General Hua said, “To be honest, I’m glad to see you don’t trust me. It tells me you’ve learned how to play this game well. You do not concede to the first person to deceive you with kindness like those stupid whores that were in here earlier. That is a good quality to have. I know you have no reason to trust me. But with me, over time, I vow to strive to be worthy of your unadulterated trust if you choose to honour me so.”

Xie Lian didn’t know how to react. He’d been so used to heeding the orders of others without complaint that presented with the illusion of free will he didn’t know what to make of it. He deluded himself that despite everything, he was still in control of his mind when he was not. Xie Lian had been fighting to survive for so many years now he lost the most essential pieces of who he was along the way. He was a shell. As his master had said, a shadow, a doll, an object for others to use however they saw fit.

Here, in this room that was once his childhood bedroom, General Hua, a man many feared, requested Xie Lian to be his equal, call him San Lang, and find comfort. Xie Lian didn’t even remember what comfort felt like. He had vague memories of feeling warmth, of not being empty, of living ignorant to the world outside his palace walls. But those feelings felt so far removed from who he was now it seemed like the princely version of himself had been nothing but a dream. He was a slave, a puppet, and nothing more.

Xie Lian did not know how to react, but he found himself nodding anyway. The motion was familiar, safe. For a moment, General Hua looked discouraged, but it was gone in a flash.

“How do you wish to spend the day?” General Hua asked. “Your master won't be expending you back until midday tomorrow. Unfortunately, it has to be this way for now.”

Xie Lian nodded again, deciding to play along. It was easier this way. Less likely for him to screw up. “This one wishes to do whatever San Lang wishes.”

They were the most words Xie Lian has spoken in years to another, and a part of him expected to be reprimanded for them. General Hua, however, looked somewhat relieved to hear Xie Lian’s response. “We are at an impasse then, for I wish to do whatever Gege wishes.”

Gege.

The day was quickly becoming a day of many firsts. It had been so long since someone had referred to Xie Lian as anything that wasn't vulgar that it took him by surprise. It tugged at some lost locked away feeling deep within.

“Are you hungry?” General Hua asked, and when Xie Lian remained silent, he gestured to a platter of fruits next to the divan. “I will call for a proper meal later, but for now, feel free to eat to your heart's content while here.”

Xie Lian’s stomach was in knots still, and although he would have loved to devour the entire tray, he shook his head. He was used to feeling starved, physically and emotionally. To be offered such a luxury freely felt wrong and risky to entertain.

“Alright then,” General Hua said. “You look tired. Would you like to take a nap on the bed?”

Despite the lack of sleep the night prior, Xie Lian knew there was no way he would be able to fall asleep now, and he shook his head again. He didn’t know what would happen once he let himself be vulnerable in sleep, nor was he ready to find out.

“Would you like to read a book?” General Hua tried again, persevering to find something for them to do. Xie Lian considered it for a moment. Then, seeing that he did not refuse the offer right away, General Hua pressed on eagerly. “We could take turns reading to the other. First, you can read a chapter, then I will.”

Xie Lian hid his shock well, finally being able to find his equilibrium again. It was not common for slaves to be able to read. His suspicion that General Hua had recognized him the night before returned, reminding him to stay cautious. 

“This one cannot read.” Xie Lian lied, watching for General Hua’s reaction.

“I see.” General Hua replied, unruffled. “Your master told me he was gifted you from a scholar. I know many scholars teach their slaves to read to help them with their research. This one apologizes for making assumptions.”

The explanation surprised Xie Lian. It was true his previous master was a scholar and had used Xie Lian to aid his studies upon learning he could read. It was the only time being a slave was somewhat tolerable. Being able to lose himself in the words of others rather than his harsh reality.

“This one cannot read well.” Xie Lian revised, afraid to be caught in his lie. “It has been many years.”

“That’s alright.” General Hua smiled, looking fond. “You never really forget how to read. It's like picking up a sword. Once you learn how to wield one, you never really forget how to use it.”

It was a common enough saying, but the words made Xie Lian tense again. One of the first things Xie Lian learned as the crown prince was how to defend himself with a plethora of weapons. The sword had been his favourite, and his teachers had always praised him for being a master of the blade. Remembering that he had heard the sound of a sword being sharpened earlier, Xie Lian scanned the room and saw a fiendish-looking scimitar resting on a table nearby.

Following his gaze, General Hua chuckled and reached for the sword. “Do you like it?” General Hua asked and gestured for Xie Lian to take the blade.

His fingers longed to brush the smooth metal, but Xie Lian didn’t dare move. He used to dream about finding a weapon and fighting his way to freedom. But Xie Lian saw what happened to slaves who rebelled against their masters, and that dream quickly faded along with most of Xie Lian.

Even if he took the blade now, he would have no use for it. If General Hua was a seasoned pit fighter like others had proclaimed, Xie Lian would be dead before he could blink. He was malnourished and out of practice. On the off chance that he managed to attack General Hua and escape, it wouldn't be long before one of the palace guards caught him anyway.

His shackles marked him as a slave.

High rewards were offered to those who returned runaway slaves, and so long as Xie Lian wore them, he was bound to his master. He would never be free. The shackles around his neck and ankles were specially made and could not be removed unless a specific key was used. When slaves needed to be fitted for new restraints, guards would surround the blindfolded slave with swords while the blacksmith retook their measurements and provided them with their new silver.

The only freedom offered to Xie Lian was the suspicious proposition General Hua had presented to him. Then by midday tomorrow, he would return to his everyday life as a slave. Xie Lian could pretend he wasn’t for a day if that’s what General Hua wanted.

“It’s a beautiful blade.” Xie Lian answered honestly and tore his gaze from the scimitar. He forced himself to look at General Hua and scanned his face for any signs of irritation or dissatisfaction. Xie Lian wasn’t sure, but he could have sworn General Hua looked sad. Gathering his courage, Xie Lian did his best to play along with this charade.

It was clear General Hua wanted Xie Lian to like him, to trust him, even though Xie Lian knew he never would. For all General Hua’s well-spoken words, Xie Lian knew better. There was no one Xie Lian could trust unless he wanted to wind up dead or worse, in trouble. Hardening his resolve, Xie Lian attempted a smile. It felt strange, his muscles unfamiliar to the motion after so long, but he hoped it looked natural. “This one wishes to hear San Lang read first.”

General Hua gave Xie Lian a curious look as if he knew exactly what he had just been thinking. He had only been around General Hua for a short time, but it seemed that where Xie Lian had become a master at hiding his thoughts, General Hua had become an expert at reading others. Xie Lian felt stripped bare, uncomfortable, and waited to see what General Hua would do next.

“I see,” General Hua replied. His voice was alluring and pulled Xie Lian in, confusing him. He wasn’t sure if General Hua was mocking him or not nor what his intentions were, but Xie Lian was sure he would soon find out. “If that’s what Gege desires, then San Lang would be happy to comply.”

When General Hua took a book off the shelf and began to read, Xie Lian quickly realized he had made a colossal mistake.

Asking General Hua to read to him first had seemed harmless. All Xie Lian would have to do was sit and listen. He thought it would give him some time to collect his thoughts and process all that had just transpired.

Maybe it was the familiarity of his old bedroom in combination with the smooth and soothing sound of General Hua’s voice that Xie Lian somehow managed to let his guard down. Before General Hua had finished the chapter Xie Lian had fallen asleep.

Chapter Text

For the last decade, sleep did not come easily to Xie Lian. When he did manage to rest, it was often in short bouts that left him feeling more tired the following day. On the rare times he was blessed with a deep slumber, he was  haunted by nightmares that made the restful nights not worth the trouble.

Now, however, when Xie Lian awoke confused and disoriented, he believed that maybe this was a good dream for once. He was in his old bedroom, covered in a warm fur blanket that smelled like soap and musk. Xie Lian snuggled deeper into the warmth, closed his eyes, and let out a contented sigh.

He did not know how long this dream would last, so he did his best to enjoy the time he had. The bell to wake the slaves would likely ring at any moment, and he would be ripped from this dream and put to work. He wondered what job he would be forced to do today. Maybe the gardeners would need more manure delivered. Maybe the kitchens would be shorthanded, and he would have to help prepare vegetables. Maybe he would be asked to visit General Hua again.

At the thought, Xie Lian started.

His mind was foggy with lingering trails of sleep, but Xie Lian didn’t have any memories of going back to his master. Last he recalled, General Hua had been reading a story about a human who fell in love with a god, then nothing. Had he really fallen asleep?

Hesitantly, Xie Lian looked around the room. He was still on the divan, but there had been a fur blanket draped over him and a pillow placed under his head. At first, Xie Lian did not see General Hua. He was not seated on the chair he had been reading in previously, nor did he appear to be on the bed. 

He must have been asleep for a while. The room was now dark, except for the soft glow of a fire burning behind him. After a few grounding deep breaths, Xie Lian sat up to survey the room. General Hua was sitting hunched over at a desk next to the hearth. He didn’t seem to notice that Xie Lian had awoken yet, and Xie Lian wondered if he should just lay back down to rest more.

It was clear General Hua didn’t mind that Xie Lian had spent the entire day sleeping, and it was so rare for him to have such an opportunity. But Xie Lian was curious. He didn’t want to do anything to risk punishment, but he wondered how far General Hua’s hospitality went. Would he really call for a proper meal like he had said? Would Xie Lian be able to get lost in a novel, just for a little while?

Xie Lian stood as casually as he could, wrapping the thick fur tighter around himself like a shield, and walked towards General Hua. Without looking up from the paper and ink in front of him, Xie Lian saw General Hua’s lips curl up into a smile. He was far enough away not to see what General Hua was doing, but from where he was, it looked like he was drawing something.

“Did Gege sleep well?”

“Yes,” Xie Lian answered honestly. He wanted to say thank you for the blanket and the warm fire, but a part of him was still anxious to speak too much. His master expected short, curt answers to questions and nothing extra.

“Shall I call for dinner now, or would you like to rest some more?”

Xie Lian was hungry. He always was. His body was used to having little food. He was used to hunger pains. He didn’t think General Hua was, however, and it was rather late for dinner. Did General Hua wait for him to eat?

“Yes, please.”

General Hua looked up from his brush and paper and grinned even wider. With the glow of the fireplace, he looked so soft, so kind. Xie Lian found himself taking a step closer unconsciously.

“I heard the cook was preparing wild boar for dinner. Shall we see if there is anything left, or would you rather have something else?” General Hua questioned.

Most days, Xie Lian ate stale bread for breakfast and a bowl of something palatable for dinner. He was not picky. He quickly learned to eat anything edible presented to him, for he was unsure if anything else would come later. “Whatever San Lang wishes.”

General Hua did not seem pleased with Xie Lian’s answer, but he didn’t comment further. Instead he stood, rang the servant’s bell, and waited by the door for someone to arrive. It didn’t take long for someone to appear dressed in dark robes and a mask. General Hua spoke to him in a soft whisper before the man bowed and left without a sound.

“That’s my servant, Yin Yu.” General Hua explained as he motioned for Xie Lian to join him by the fire. “I’ll arrange with your master to have Yin Yu retrieve you for our future visits, so neither of us has to spend any more time than necessary with that bastard.”

Future visits?  

Xie Lian wanted to ask more but refrained. General Hua was an enigma, and Xie Lian wasn’t sure if he was ready to figure him out. It seemed only time would tell. 

When their dinner arrived, the meal passed in relative silence. General Hua only spoke a few times to check that Xie Lian was warm enough or had gotten enough to eat. Then, with a full belly and the heat of the fire, Xie Lian started to feel sleepy again even though he’d slept for most of the day.

The second time he yawned, General Hua suggested they turn in for the night. Xie Lian cautiously agreed, nervous about what the night would bring. He fully expected General Hua to use him that evening in whatever way two men sought pleasure from one another, but he was shocked yet again.

“The bed is yours tonight.” General Hua mentioned so softly Xie Lian wasn’t sure he had heard him right. “You have nothing to fear from me. Ever. If you need anything, all you need to do is ask.”

Xie Lian hesitated and crawled into the bed only after General Hua’s insistence. It felt wrong, but Xie Lian obeyed. The bedding was so warm and soft, adding to Xie Lian’s drowsiness. He only managed to stay awake long enough to watch as General Hua readied himself for bed and then made himself comfortable on the divan with his back facing Xie Lian. 

As he drifted off to sleep, a part of Xie Lian felt like he should offer to share the bed. It was definitely big enough for the both of them if all they were going to do was sleep, but Xie Lian kept his mouth shut. He didn’t want to give General Hua the impression that he wanted to share a bed with him in an intimate way, even though the idea of it didn’t sit as horribly in Xie Lian’s gut as it did earlier that day. 

Confused by his feelings and General Hua’s actions, Xie Lian allowed himself to fall into another restful, dreamless sleep.

~~❀~~

Morning came too soon.

General Hua woke him up early and ensured that he had a decent breakfast before Yin Yu arrived to return him to his master. He seemed upset to see Xie Lian go, and he had promised to call on him the next time he was at the palace. They parted with General Hua gesturing for Xie Lian’s hand and him placing a gentle kiss on Xie Lian’s knuckles once he complied. It reminded him of how his father would say goodbye to his mother with a kiss on her cheek or hand, and he was shocked at the display. This overt gesture was not common with the new regime, no open displays of affection were. It made Xie Lian’s chest bloom with warmth.

Had General Hua been raised as a gentleman from the days of old? He did not look like he was older than Xie Lian, and the fact that he called Xie Lian Gege made him believe General Hua was, in fact, younger than him. He would have had to have been a young teen at most when Xianle fell. Maybe he was the son of a noble that escaped enslavement? In those early days, many noble families fled the kingdom to avoid servitude and death. The rebels loved to torture and kill those who had been in power previously to prove their point that the wealthy were weak and did not deserve to be in control.

Thinking of that time did not fill Xie Lian with as much hate and anger as it once did. A decade was a long time to come to terms with the way things were now, but it had been so long since he had seen anything that reminded him of his old life in a positive way. It was nice, and Xie Lian would treasure the memory. It would give him something to hold on to in the days that followed.

Yin Yu had escorted Xie Lian back to his master’s bedroom without uttering a word. Upon their arrival, Yin Yu handed his master a sealed envelope with what Xie Lian assumed to be General Hua’s signet and left without fanfare. 

Once they were alone, his master read through the letter twice then angrily threw it into the fire. His master anxiously began to pace the room, muttering to himself. Xie Lian almost believed he forgot Xie Lian was still around by the way he acted until he started pressing him for information.

His master was less concerned with what they did, thankfully, for he probably wouldn’t have believed Xie Lian if he told his master he spent most of the time actually sleeping. But his master was only interested in knowing if anyone had visited them during Xie Lian’s visits and if General Hua had received any correspondence. A part of Xie Lian wanted to protect General Hua and the time they spent together. But his master’s questions were not incriminating in any way that Xie Lian could deduce, so he answered them honestly. His master had a knack for sniffing out a liar, and Xie Lian was relieved he was not forced into a position to test his skills of deception. To his knowledge, they had been alone the entire time, and he did not see General Hua receive any letters. 

“You’re absolutely sure no one contacted him in any way while you were together?” His master parroted for what felt like the hundredth time.

“Yes, Master.”

“And you didn’t see him write to anyone while you were there?”

“No, Master.”

No matter how often his master asked, Xie Lian’s answers were always the same.

Finally, after his master had exhausted himself, he ordered Xie Lian to get him a glass of wine.

“You are to serve me personally from now on.” His master told him after Xie Lian had filled his cup. “General Hua visits the palace every so often. If he calls on you again and you have managed to injure yourself in some way, he will know and blame me.”

Xie Lian didn’t know how to feel about that but agreed quickly, nonetheless. His master did not treat his personal slaves any better or worse than the rest, but Xie Lian detested the man. He preferred that his master often let his subordinates manage most of his slaves so that Xie Lian had fewer interactions with him.

“I have a meeting to get to now, but you are to remain here until I return.” His master stated as he rang the bell for his servant. Almost instantly, the door behind Xie Lian opened, and the missing server girl from the other night appeared with a split lip and his master’s cloak.

“Have you finished your chores?” His master asked the slave girl, who seemed to shrink at his words.

“Not yet, Master, this one apologizes.”

His master seemed displeased but thankfully did not punish the slave girl. “Have this one help you then.” His master gestured to Xie Lian. “If you both don’t have everything done by the time I’m back, you will be punished, girl.”

“Yes, Master.” They replied in unison, and their master left. Once the door closed, the slave girl burst into silent tears. Taking a closer look at her, Xie Lian could see she was in bad shape. Bruises and cuts of varying stages of healing littered her skin. She looked hollow and broken, and the sight made Xie Lian’s heart ache and his rage simmer. He had the overwhelming urge to offer the girl comfort, but he didn’t know how to offer it or if it would be welcome.

“Hey,” Xie Lian whispered hesitantly. He knew better than to ask if she was okay, so he asked the next best thing. “What still needs to be done? Let me handle the work while you get some rest.”

“He’ll know.” The slave girl said, real fear evident in her gaze. Not wanting to frighten her more than she already was, Xie Lian conceded quickly and together, they went to work. He did his best to shoulder most of the work himself, but Xie Lian was not used to this kind of work. Washing laundry, making beds, and cleaning the floors were not chores Xie Lian has much experience with. He was, however, experienced in cleaning out the hearth, polishing decorative armour, and restocking the woodpile and water basin. The work went quickly with the two of them, and they finished well before their master returned.

“What do we do now?” Xie Lian asked once they had finished their work. 

The slave girl surveyed the room again to check that all the work was done for sure. Then, with a sigh, the slave girl said, “We wait for Master to return.” She led Xie Lian to the back of the room, where she drew back a gold gossamer curtain. It revealed a small space with thin cushions. “We kneel here until Master calls for us.”

Xie Lian was surprised but followed her lead. Usually, if Xie Lian finished his work early, he would be expected to find one of his master’s subordinates to get more work. There was always something for them to do, so to sit and wait like this was new for him. By the time his master had returned, the sun had long set, and they spent hours kneeling on the uncomfortable floor, silent with nothing to do. Finally, his master dismissed Xie Lian for the day and ordered him to return to his room first thing in the morning. He felt horrible leaving while the slave girl was forced to stay behind, but Xie Lian knew better than to try and argue.

The days seem to have become longer for the first time since Xie Lian had become a slave. He was usually always kept so busy the days passed in a blur. Now, Xie Lian spent his morning doing work around his master’s room with the other slave girl and the rest of the day kneeling behind the curtain. He didn’t know where his master went during the day, but he wished to have more to do than just sit around. He had tried to engage the slave girl in conversation a few times, but she rarely replied unless Xie Lian said something directly related to their work.

With nothing to do, all Xie Lian was left with was his thoughts to occupy his time. He found himself more often than not thinking of General Hua. Of their brief time together, of his odd requests, but mostly when they would see each other again. His desire to know more about who General Hua really was had been eating at him. Every time he tried to puzzle precisely what their time together had meant, it left Xie Lian with more questions than when he had begun to the point of frustration.

If General Hua had recognized Xie Lian for who he was, he did not out him to his master or the King. On the contrary, he seemed to despise Xie Lian’s master, and Xie Lian wondered how far that loathing stretched. The night of the banquet, General Hua had seemed cordial with the King but was that just an act? Was that parting kiss a message, or was Xie Lian looking too deeply into the gesture?

Bored out of his mind and tired of thinking of questions he did not have the answer to, Xie Lian did his best to spend his time kneeling in meditation. He had hated having to do it as a child, but now the opportunity to quiet his mind and think of nothing was a small mercy. If he ever started nodding off, the slave girl would nudge him awake, but not unkindly. Today, however, their work had been minimal and their time forced to kneel and wait long. It seems they had both managed to nod off when suddenly the door opened, causing the both of them to start.

Through the curtains, Xie Lian could see his master had brought a guest, and from the man’s stature, Xie Lian guessed who it was long before the King spoke. The slave girl next to Xie Lian must have realized who was with their master at the same time he did, and they both sat a little straighter.

“I always forget how modest your rooms are, cousin.” The King mused almost mockingly. “Do you not feel claustrophobic in such a small room?”

“No, your majesty.” His master answered immediately. Xie Lian could sense his master’s tension like a thick smoke that was slowly filling the room and clogging his lungs. “My chambers are perfect for my needs. I am grateful for them.”

“Yes,” The King replied almost lazily. “You have much to be thankful for. The incident between you and General Li is almost all but forgotten due to your newly found friendship with General Hua.”

Upon hearing General Hua’s name, Xie Lian’s interest peaked.

“Hua Cheng is scum,” His master sneered. “But you have to admit, his reputation with the other generals is invaluable to us.”

Hua Cheng.

General Hua’s name was Hua Cheng. 

Xie Lian thought the name suited him, but he could not help but wonder why he had introduced himself to Xie Lian as San Lang.

“Sometimes,” The King agreed reluctantly. “For years, all we could do was sit and watch while he rose in rank. He is terribly clever. I will give him that. Most of my Generals fear and respect him, and all of them have failed at trying to get close to him.”

“Until now.” His master said, sounding way too pleased with himself. 

The King laughed, and Xie Lian had to suppress a shiver. “We shall see. Show me the servant he’s become so enamoured with.”

Xie Lian felt his insides twist painfully. He’d spent so many years avoiding having to have any close interactions with the King. Now it seemed his time had finally run out.

“Show yourself.” His master called, and Xie Lian obeyed. Pulling back the curtain, he shuffled forward slightly and kowtowed.

“Rise.” The King demanded, and reluctantly, Xie Lian did. He kept his gaze downcast and his breathing even.

“I don’t see what’s so special about him.” The King finally said after the most prolonged pause of Xie Lian’s life. “I've sent him dozens of beautiful men and women, and this is who he has become obsessed with?”

“Obsessed is a strong word.” His master answered. “He seems interested, but you know how Hua Cheng is. It’s hard to get a read on the guy.”

“I suppose.” The King conceded, but he didn’t sound convinced. “But you didn’t see the way he looked at him.”

Xie Lian prayed for the floor to swallow him whole. He had witnessed from afar exactly how Hua Cheng had responded to seeing him. Did the King suspect him? Hua Cheng? Them both?

“There is nothing remarkable about him, your majesty, I assure you or else I would have had him serve you directly.” His master was quick to add. 

“Are you sure?” The King remarked. “He seems familiar somehow.”

Xie Lian felt all the blood in his body freeze, and he hoped his sudden spike of fear didn’t show in his posture.

“He’s been in my service for a few years now.” His master answered hastily. “You’ve probably seen him around the palace before. He often works in the stables and the gardens.”

Not for the first time, Xie Lian was grateful his parents never commissioned a portrait of himself. They had always been so protective of his identity, and only those who lived and worked in the palace every day really knew what he really looked like.

“Yes, that must be it.” The King agreed, but the words brought Xie Lian little comfort. “I have a request for you, cousin.”

“Anything, your majesty.” His master happily replied.

“I think this slave gives us a golden opportunity to verify if the rumours about Hua Cheng are true.”

“Great minds, your majesty, I had the same thought!” His master responded excitedly. “Hua Cheng has already requested the use of this slave while he is visiting, so there is little we would have to do on our part.”

“Yes.” The King declared as he made his way to where Xie Lian was kneeling. “I would like this slave to be our eyes and ears while Hua Cheng visits. He so rarely lets anyone who is not from his inner circle around him, so we cannot let this opportunity go to waste. Hua Cheng is smart, but even infatuated men let their guards down once in a while. All we need is one slip up to confirm our suspicions, then we can take that bastard down.”

“You’re so wise, your majesty.” His master praised so sincerely it made Xie Lian want to laugh. “This slave can also read, so he is perfect for this assignment. Heaven must be smiling on us to grant us such an opportunity, don’t you think?”

“Yes,” The King hummed, sounding amused. “I think I will send an open invitation to Hua Cheng to stay as our guest.”

His master clapped like an excited child. “A wonderful idea, your majesty.”

“I have other business to attend to, but you will ensure this slave complies?” The King asked, a warning lacing his tone.

“Of course, your majesty.” His master said with a deep bow. “Leave everything to me.”

~~❀~~

The idea of having to spy on Hua Cheng did not sit well with Xie Lian. Their encounters became frequent, and their time together slowly became dear to Xie Lian. They never left the comfort of Xie Lian’s old bedroom, but they always found a way to fill their hours together. 

In the beginning, they often read to one another. Xie Lian had always loved to read, and in doing so, he was able to rediscover old favourites and get lost in new ones. However, when their voices became too hoarse, or they were tired of reading, Hua Cheng would often have something else for them to do. Sometimes they would play games together. They were both competitive, but the fun they had and the laughs they shared meant more to Xie Lian than winning or losing. 

He also learned a few things about Hua Cheng that surprised him. Had a knack for gambling, was terrible at calligraphy, and was a very talented artist. Xie Lian always loved to watch Hua Cheng paint. His brow would crinkle in concentration, and his steady hand would turn a blank page into something breathtaking in a matter of hours. 

“What shall I draw today, Gege?” Hua Cheng asked, his ever-present smirk looked playful under the glow of the candlelight.

Over the past few months, Hua Cheng had tried to persuade Xie Lian to let him paint a portrait of him numerous times. If Hua Cheng had asked in the beginning when Xie Lian was still wary of denying him anything, he would have agreed to it even though it would have made him uncomfortable. 

Hua Cheng was so talented. He made ordinary objects and everyday places look otherworldly. Xie Lian could not bear to see how Hua Cheng saw him. He managed to put on some weight, so he did not look so malnourished anymore, and his complexion improved, all thanks to Hua Cheng. But his looks weren’t why Xie Lian was afraid to let Hua Cheng paint him. 

He already saw too much. Hua Cheng seemed to know Xie Lian better than he knew himself, and it unnerved Xie Lian since he still couldn’t get a good read on him. They’d spent half a year together, and still, Xie Lian felt like he didn’t really know the real Hua Cheng. Their relationship was complicated. Hua Cheng did not treat Xie Lian like a slave, nor did he seem to want anything other than Xie Lian’s company and comfort. At first, Xie Lian was grateful. But the more time they spent together, the more Xie Lian wanted. 

He still didn’t really trust Hua Cheng fully, there were too many things left unsaid between them, but he was brave enough now to be somewhat honest around him. He adored their time together, each moment more precious to Xie Lian than the last. But knowing their time would come to an end and that Xie Lian would be questioned by his master after always weighed heavy on him. 

Either Hua Cheng was smart enough to not do business while Xie Lian was around, or he really had nothing to hide. The King, however, did not buy this and was growing impatient. Every time Xie Lian came back with nothing, his master would become more agitated. He’d overheard his master doing his best to reassure the King that their plan would work. He seems to be more trusting, your majesty. His master would say. Give it more time. But Xie Lian felt like he was running out of time. 

“Draw something beautiful.” Xie Lian answered vaguely. He did not know how much longer they would have together like this, and deep down, Xie Lian had a sinking suspicion that the King was up to something. 

“But Gege never lets me paint him.” Hua Cheng answered cheekily. 

Xie Lian anticipated this, but he was still happy to hear Hua Cheng’s response, accurate or not. Hua Cheng was a huge flirt, incredibly handsome, and from what Xie Lian had witnessed in their time together, he had more money than he knew what to do with. However, he was sure he had a special someone or multiple lovers to warm his bed, and Hua Cheng made it very clear to Xie Lian that he did not want anything sexual from him. At best, they were friends no matter how Xie Lian sometimes wished for more. 

Even if Hua Cheng felt a tenth of what Xie Lian was beginning to feel for him, they could never be together the way Xie Lian wanted. He was a slave. Hua Cheng could own him. They could be lovers. But nothing more. 

“If that’s what San Lang really wants.” Shock, then a complicated expression Xie Lian could not decipher danced in Hua Cheng’s eyes. “Just don’t let anyone else see it.”

“Of course,” Hua Cheng answered. “It would be for mine and Gege’s eyes only.”

“No,” Xie Lian replied hastily, and Hua Cheng looked taken aback by his response. “Just yours, please.”

He didn’t want to see how Hua Cheng saw him. He was afraid. 

“We don’t have –”

“It’s fine.” Xie Lian interrupted, and he meant it. He wanted to do something for Hua Cheng. He had nothing he could offer, and Hua Cheng wanted so little from him. He could give him this. “Please.”

“If you’re sure.” Hua Cheng said, although he seemed hesitant.

Xie Lian nodded and hoped it was convincing. 

~~❀~~

“Is Gege trying to get me drunk?” Hua Cheng asked, amused. Usually, Xie Lian refused when Hua Cheng offered him wine. He’d seen how ridiculous it made people, and it smelled terrible. But tonight was different. 

Recently, Hua Cheng seemed stressed about something even though he’d assured Xie Lian that he was fine a few times. Drinking a glass or two with dinner appeared harmless enough, but it didn’t seem to relax Hua Cheng in the slightest. So when Xie Lian suggested they have a little more tonight, Hua Cheng seemed shocked but also a little intrigued. 

They were now lounging on the divan with Xie Lian on one side and Hua Cheng on the other. The divan was quite long, but it obviously wasn’t meant for two fully grown men. Their legs brushed, and the contact made something in Xie Lian feel giddy. Ordinarily, they wouldn’t sit this close to one another, but as the night went on, Hua Cheng seemed to finally let go of whatever had been bothering him and relaxed.

“Maybeee.” Xie Lian slurred a little as he leaned forward to refill Hua Cheng’s glass. He’d lost count on how much they’d consumed. Every time the jar emptied, Hua Cheng would just ring for more. The room had started to spin for him, but Hua Cheng still looked sober. Even though it was clear his tolerance was much lower, Xie Lian was determined to keep up with Hua Cheng. 

“Maybe Gege should have more to eat if he plans on drinking more.” Hua Cheng suggested and gestured to the bowl of fruit beside them. 

It appeared the alcohol made Xie Lian feel bold. After placing his wine glass on the table, he shamelessly crawled towards the fruit bowl and onto Hua Cheng’s lap. “Maybe San Lang should feed me.”

Heat and something dark began to pool in Xie Lian’s stomach. He’d never been one to have impure thoughts. When they’d met, he’d been relieved that Hua Cheng had not wanted Xie Lian in a sensual way. But the more time they spent together, the more that changed. Xie Lian had never been brave enough to act on his desires. Just the thought of it often sent him in a spiral. His teachers had told him to ignore desire as it was the route of all evil and that sex was for procreation and nothing more. 

“Oh?” Hua Cheng didn’t push him off, nor did he look upset, so Xie Lian assumed this was okay. He’d always been a bit of a shameless flirt, and he loved to tease Xie Lian, but it never went any further. Maybe if Xie Lian just pushed him a little, that would change tonight. “What does Gege want?”

You. Xie Lian thought, but he wasn’t brave enough to voice it even in his drunken state. “Grapes.”

Hua Cheng’s hand casually made its way to the bowl, plucked a grape from the vine, and brought it to Xie Lian’s lips. He didn’t actually expect Hua Cheng to feed him, but Xie Lian wasn’t complaining now that he was. The gesture felt intimate. He opened his mouth, and Hua Cheng placed the grape inside. As Xie Lian bit into it, the juice of the fruit burst on his tongue, replacing the bitter taste of the wine. 

“Would you like more?” Hua Cheng asked, his gaze intent and darker than before. Again, Xie Lian nodded, and this time Hua Cheng seemed to take his time as if he was looking for the perfect grape to feed him. The one he selected and brought to Xie Lian’s mouth was larger than the last, and it tasted much sweeter when Xie Lian ate it. 

“Mmm.” Xie Lian hummed and opened his mouth expectantly for another grape. With a chuckle, Hua Cheng complied, only this time, Xie Lian reached for Hua Cheng’s hand before he could pull away. He brought Hua Cheng’s hand to his cheek and nuzzled into it as he chewed. His palm felt warm against his skin, making Xie Lian think of how it would feel to have Hua Cheng’s hands on him in other places. 

For a moment, Xie Lian closed his eyes and imagined what that would feel like and what it would feel like to touch Hua Cheng in return. To run his hands along Hua Cheng’s chest like he’d thought about so many times. To trace the lines of his muscles and the scars he wore. Then, his fantasy was interrupted when Xie Lian felt Hua Cheng’s thumb brush his bottom lip. Surprised, Xie Lian opened his eyes, and he felt himself melt at the heated gaze directed at him. 

Maybe it was because of the alcohol they had both consumed, but for a moment, Xie Lian believed Hua Cheng looked like he wanted Xie Lian just as much he wanted Hua Cheng. For once, Xie Lian didn’t overthink things. He leaned forward, ever so slowly, until their lips were close enough to touch. 

Kiss me, Xie Lian thought. Kiss me, Kiss me. Kiss. Me.

“I can’t.” Hua Cheng said reluctantly and pulled away. He placed both his hands on Xie Lian’s shoulders and pushed him back considerately. “Not like this.”

“Why not?” Xie Lian hiccuped, and placed a hand over his mouth. 

“You’re drunk.” Hua Cheng replied, but Xie Lian didn’t understand why that mattered. It was only because he was drunk that he dared to act this way. 

“So?” Xie Lian said, placed a hand on Hua Cheng’s cheek, and forced the general to look at him. “Everyone already thinks I’m your whore.”

It was true. On the few occasions Xie Lian left his master’s room to fetch things, he’d heard others whisper about General Hua’s whore. It used to bother him a lot at first, but eventually, he learned to ignore them. He’d been called worse after all. 

“You’re not.” Hua Cheng said fiercely and pushed Xie Lian the rest of the way off him. Even though Hua Cheng sounded angry, his actions were still gentle. He was always so kind to Xie Lian. He didn’t deserve it. “And you never will be.”

“Why not?” Xie Lian asked again. “Am I undesirable?”

It was the only conclusion Xie Lian could come to that made sense. 

Hua Cheng laughed humorlessly and met Xie Lian’s eyes again. “No, Gege, you’re not undesirable.”

“Then why –” Xie Lian began, only for Hua Cheng to silence him by placing his finger on his lips. 

“It’s getting late, Gege. We should go to sleep.”

Before he could say anything else, Hua Cheng stood up and scooped him into his arms. Startled, Xie Lian wrapped his arms around Hua Cheng’s neck and let the general carry him to the bed. He was placed down with the utmost care, and Hua Cheng gently brushed a piece of Xie Lian’s hair from his brow. 

“Stay.” Xie Lian pleaded when Hua Cheng tried to pull away. “There’s enough room.”

Hua Cheng looked hesitant, but relented to Xie Lian’s wishes. Once he had settled, Xie Lian reached for his hand under the covers and intertwined their fingers. He fell asleep feeling warm and soothed by Hua Cheng’s thumb’s tender caress. 

Xie Lian woke the following day with a horrible headache and very little memory of the night before. To make it all worse, Hua Cheng was gone. There was a note on the pillow next to Xie Lian, but Hua Cheng’s handwriting was awful and he couldn't understand what it said. Then, the door opened, and Hua Cheng walked in carrying a tray full of food and a sunny smile too bright for Xie Lian to handle. 

“Morning, Gege! I brought you breakfast.”

~~❀~~

“Tell me about the fighting pits.” Xie Lian asked one night over dinner. 

Hua Cheng looked surprised by the question, but as always, he indulged Xie Lian. “What would you like to know?”

“Where are they held?” Xie Lian had never been to a fight, nor did he really know where they took place. 

“In the old amphitheatre.” 

The location made sense to Xie Lian. It could seat a lot of people and had more than enough room to host the fights. It just hurt to know where once he used to watch beautiful performances and mock battles was now a place where men went to die for real. 

“Why do you still fight?” Xie Lian asked finally. The question had been gnawing at him for months, but he wasn’t brave enough to voice it. Hua Cheng already had all he could ever want. Many generals with less wealth and status than him had long retired, and most others respected that. 

Retired generals had already proven themselves and deserved to enjoy the luxuries their standing brought them. But not Hua Cheng. Every few weeks, Xie Lian would find Hua Cheng recovering from some injury or another. It was apparent he didn’t like talking about his fights, but he never lied or shied away from Xie Lian’s inquiries. 

Hua Cheng gave him a complicated look. One that Xie Lian noticed the more time they spent together. “Because I have a beloved who still needs me too.”

The words were like an arrow to Xie Lian’s heart. He looked down at his wine and took a long sip. After the last time, Xie Lian swore he’d stick to one cup and one cup only from then on. He’d awoken with the worst hangover and very little memory of what had happened that night. Hua Cheng had assured him Xie Lian hadn’t done or said anything embarrassing, but Xie Lian didn’t feel as though he had been entirely truthful. But now, Xie Lian wouldn't mind the numb floaty feeling of the wine over the pain in his chest.

“Ah, I see.” Maybe he was a glutton for punishment, but Xie Lian had to ask, “You have a lover then?”

Hua Cheng smiled, but it did not reach his eyes, “No, I do not.”

“But you want them to be?” It was apparent he cared deeply for someone, enough to risk his life for them. 

“I want to save them.” Hua Cheng answered solemnly. He looked so sad and full of regret. Xie Lian would give anything to wipe that look from his face. “I can’t now, but I will. I promise.” 

His gaze burned with resolve. Xie Lian couldn’t help but feel moved by Hua Cheng’s determination, but he selfishly didn’t want to see Hua Cheng throw his life away. He was already so far up. The only person left for Hua Cheng to challenge seriously was the King himself, and that was suicide. “But you could die in the pits.”

Hua Cheng laughed as if the idea of dying did not bother him in the slightest. “I’d rather die than live one more second without trying to end their suffering.”

“But…” Xie Lian tried to think of something or anything to convince Hua Cheng otherwise. “If your beloved knew you were willing to die for them, surely they would not want that.” 

Xie Lian knew he wouldn’t if he were Hua Cheng’s beloved. He was too bright and had so much potential. No one was worth him throwing his life away and all that he had accomplished. 

Hua Cheng seemed to consider this for a moment, then gave a self-deprecating smile. “Then I won’t let them know. Not until I have to.”

“What if you die before that?” Xie Lian questioned sharply. He was usually so good at hiding his emotions, but with Hua Cheng, the walls he had built so high for so long were beginning to crumble. 

“To die in battle for them would be my greatest honour.” Hua Cheng replied so devotedly Xie Lian was at a loss. Before he realized what was happening, his vision grew blurry, and his cheeks turned damp. 

“Please don’t cry.” Hua Cheng begged, pushing back his chair and kneeling next to Xie Lian’s side. “I hate to see you cry.”

“Then don’t fight anymore.” Xie Lian begged even though he knew his words would fall on deaf ears. 

“I’m sorry,” Hua Cheng said, forlorn. “I can’t make that promise.” 

Xie Lian angrily wiped at his tears and picked up a piece of potato. After chewing and swallowing it with great difficulty, Hua Cheng was still kneeling next to him. Finally, unable to bear the sight of Hua Cheng’s devotion for another any longer, Xie Lian said, “Then I guess this conversation is finished.”

~~❀~~

“Has he spoken to you about anyone?”

Xie Lian thought of Hua Cheng’s beloved, and an angry twist of jealousy turned in his gut. 

“No, Master.” 

“What about who he plans to challenge next?” His master asked more desperately. 

“No, Master.”

His master slammed his fist down on the table, making Xie Lian startle. “Eight months. It has been eight months since you started warming that bastard’s bed, and still, you come up with nothing? Are you even trying anymore?”

“Of course, Master.” Xie Lian answered even though he did not mean it. “Apologies, Master.” 

“If you don’t come up with something soon,” his master warned in his most threatening tone. “The King will have both our heads.”

In the past, the threat would have filled Xie Lian with fear. Now, however, it did nothing. 

“I can’t punish you, but I can punish her,” his master seethed and pointed at the slave girl, who was already so pale and sickly looking. Xie Lian always tried to sneak food back with him and even asked Hua Cheng for medicine when her wounds got infected. But he could not stop his master’s abuse. It was okay if the King punished him or his master, but the slave girl was innocent and had already been through enough. He couldn’t add to her suffering.

“I’ll do better, Master,” Xie Lian promised. He hoped he wouldn’t regret it. 

~~❀~~

“Will you be challenging anyone else soon?” Xie Lian questioned the next time he saw Hua Cheng. They’d been having a great day, and Xie Lian hated to ruin things. Since their last talk about the pits, Hua Cheng was uncomfortable whenever Xie Lian brought them up, but he had to, or else his master would make good on his threat.

“No, not for a while.” Hua Cheng answered, and Xie Lian was relieved, hopeful even. Was Hua Cheng finally starting to slow down? He’d intended to ask only to appease his master, but if Hua Cheng was really taking a break from the pits, Xie Lian was thrilled. 

“So you’re taking a break?” 

They had spent enough time together now that Xie Lian could tell when Hua Cheng weighed his words carefully. He almost always responded to Xie Lian’s questions, but lately, he often skirted around the answers. “Not exactly.”

Xie Lian knew Hua Cheng wanted to change the subject, but he pressed on. “What do you mean?”

With a sigh, Hua Cheng said, “I’ll be training.”

“For what?” Xie Lian asked, and Hua Cheng shrugged. 

“I’m tired of this game.” Hua Cheng announced, gesturing to the board game between them. “Gege, why don’t we do something else?”

Xie Lian wanted to press Hua Cheng further, but he decided against it. He got enough information today, his master should be pleased, and he didn’t want to upset Hua Cheng.

With a sigh and a forced smile, Xie Lian said, “Of course, San Lang.”

~~❀~~

“Thank you.” The slave girl whispered after their master had left. He was pleased with Xie Lian’s latest report, and he’d just left to inform the King. 

“I’ve done nothing deserving of your gratitude.” Xie Lian answered guiltily. Regret weighed heavy on his heart, and he prayed he hadn’t just made a monumental mistake. 

~~❀~~

“What's the battle of the boon?” 

Xie Lian questioned Hua Cheng weeks later. He had overheard some generals gossiping about it with his master, but he wanted to hear about it from Hua Cheng. 

“It’s what the title suggests.” Hus Cheng answered and Xie Lian gave him a disapproving look. Then, with a sigh, he continued, “It’s a battle to win a boon from the King.”

In the last decade, no such battle had ever taken place. To ask something of the King was unheard of. Subjects either fought for what they wanted or died trying. Everything about this fight set alarm bells off in Xie Lian’s head. 

“Please tell me you’re not participating.” Xie Lian pleaded, even though he was almost sure of the answer. 

Hua Cheng shrugged, “I’m the one who suggested it.”

“That doesn’t answer my question.” Xie Lian implored.

“If Gege knows the answer, why bother to ask.” Hua Cheng said reluctantly. “Let’s not fight today. Why don’t we –”

“Please,” Xie Lian begged, clutching onto Hua Cheng’s sleeve. “Don’t. I have a bad feeling about this.”

“Gege,” Hua Cheng groaned as if having to deny him his request caused him physical pain. 

“What can I do to convince you?” Xie Lian was not ready to give up. Hua Cheng might not care about dying, but Xie Lian did. 

“Nothing, Gege.” Hua Cheng replied, and for the first time, pressed a kiss to Xie Lian’s brow and rested his forehead against his. “I’m sorry.” 

For a moment, Xie Lian was shocked. He wanted to argue. He needed to convince Hua Cheng to not participate in this fight. But now, all the words he had prepared vanished from his mind. He could only feel the warm press of Hua Cheng’s skin against his and his racing heart. Before Xie Lian could collect himself, there was a knock at the door. The sound started them apart, and Hua Cheng looked furious by the interruption. 

“Wait here, Gege.” 

Hua Cheng rose and answered the door. Xie Lian could hear heated whispers, and then after a pause, he watched Hua Cheng close the door and return with a sealed scroll. 

“What is that?” Xie Lian asked. It was the first time he had ever seen something like this. Most correspondences were folded paper that was sealed with wax. However, this scroll looked terribly official, with a dark red ribbon wrapped and what looked to be a hawk’s feather pressed into the wax. 

“It’s a challenge notice.” Hua Cheng explained reluctantly. 

Xie Lian sucked in a breath. “Who?”

“Some wannabe General.” Hua Cheng responded, seeming unworried. “Sorry to have to cut our visit short, but I’ll have to head home to prepare.”

“When’s the fight?” 

Hua Cheng tossed the scroll onto his desk without care. “Tonight.” 

“So soon?” Xie Lian did not know much about how official challenges worked, but he assumed both parties had more time to prepare. Hua Cheng, however, didn’t seem phased.

“That’s how these things go. Yin Yu is waiting for you outside. He will take you back.”

Xie Lian did not want to leave, but he knew he had to. Hua Cheng held out his hand, just as he always did when they parted, but this time Xie Lian did not offer his hand back in return. Instead, Xie Lian wrapped his arms around Hua Cheng’s waist and squeezed him tight. Finally, after a hesitant pause, Hua Cheng returned the embrace, and Xie Lian was so relieved he could sob. 

“Please be safe.” Xie Lian prayed out loud, hoping the gods headed his wish.

Hua Cheng did not reply, but he held Xie Lian a little tighter. 

~~❀~~

His master seemed too smug when Xie Lian returned. 

“Did he get the scroll?” His master snickered, and Xie Lian had to actually hold himself back from saying or doing something he would regret. 

“Yes, Master.”

“Good.” His master’s pleasure only filled Xie Lian with dread. He wanted to ask, plead with his master to question what he knew, but he bit his tongue hard enough to draw blood. “The stables are short-handed today. Tell them I sent you and do as they say.”

Since that first meeting with Hua Cheng, Xie Lian had only been asked to help serve his master. As the reality of the situation began to really sink in, Xie Lian felt the room spin. 

“You’re dismissed.” His master hissed, but when Xie Lian made no move to go, his master slapped him hard across the face. 

“Have you forgotten who you are!” His master screamed and began hitting Xie Lian in earnest. Xie Lian barely felt the pain of the blows, but his master’s words were like taking a hundred swords to the gut. “You are nothing! You obey me, or you do not live at all! You are my property, my trinket to play with or throw away. Did you think you were special? You are garbage, no better than the dirt beneath my shoe.”

The insults and the beating continued until his master wore himself out. There was blood in his mouth, and Xie Lian was almost sure one of his ribs was broken. 

“Lie there and do not get up until you remember who you are!” His master yelled as he stormed out of the room. 

The silence that followed was deafening. The words his master shouted rattled around in his brain. Xie Lian had been a fool. His time with Hua Cheng had made him soft. Everything he had built to protect himself had slowly shifted to the back of his mind. When they first met, Hua Cheng had praised him for not falling for the first person to show him kindness but oh how Xie Lian had fallen. 

He wasn’t sure how much time had passed, but eventually, the slave girl silently wandered to his side and began tending to his wounds. 

“Where does it hurt?” Her soft mousy voice questioned. 

“My chest.” Xie Lian answered honestly. It felt like his heart had broken into a million pieces. Hua Cheng was likely walking into a trap, and there was nothing Xie Lian could do about it. He was nothing, and he was an idiot to believe otherwise. 

The slave girl pulled away his clothes and began checking out the area. “Your ribs don’t feel broken. Open your mouth.”

Xie Lian obeyed.

“You’re okay. You bit your tongue, but I don’t see anything else wrong. You’ll have some bruising, but that’s about it. They will go away in a week or two.” 

Xie Lian didn’t feel okay. He felt like his world was ending. He felt hopeless. 

“Thank you.” Xie Lian said anyways and closed his eyes, praying over and over again that Hua Cheng would live. 

He wasn’t sure how long he stayed on the ground. At one point, the slave girl returned and gave Xie Lian water and some dried meat. He wasn’t sure where she got them from, but he was grateful for her kindness. 

Xie Lian wished he’d done more to protect her from their master, not for the first time. He knew there wasn’t much he could have done for her, and likely, he would never have the chance. But for the first time in years, some of the old fight Xie Lian used to feel had slowly returned. His position as a slave did not allow him to do much, but spending so much time with Hua Cheng had given him hope. For years he had forgotten who he was, and life was easier that way. The words of his master ringing in his ears, Xie Lian stood and made his way to the stables. He had forgotten who he was once before, and he would never make that mistake again. 

~~❀~~

Xie Lian could not sleep. 

After working the rest of the day in the stables, he’d been dismissed for the night. The other slaves huddled around him were restless as they slept close together to try and stay warm. Xie Lian, however, could barely feel the cold, his thoughts keeping him alert and numb to the chilly draft. 

Would Hua Cheng be okay? Xie Lian knew that it could be the last time they saw each other every time they parted, but he never let himself become consumed by that fear. Hua Cheng was a fantastic fighter if he had survived this long. He’d told Xie Lian it had been years since someone challenged him because most knew it would end in their deaths. Why now? Was this the Kings doing?

It had to be close to dawn when the sound of shouting could be heard down the hall. Most of the slaves around him woke up startled, and some huddled closer to one another, afraid. When the door burst open, a man in armour made his way in. He scanned the faces of everyone in the room before his eyes settled on Xie Lian. 

“How dare you!” His master bellowed. “You have no right to be here, General Pei. Leave at once!”

“You owe me a favour, or have you forgotten?” General Pei said coolly, and his master blanched. 

“But.” His master tried to argue, but General Pei cut him off. 

“That slave is coming with me. I will return him tomorrow.”

“Of course...” His master forced out after a long pause. “As you wish.”

“Come.” General Pei commanded, and Xie Lian rose to his feet. He scanned the man’s armour and quickly recognized Hua Cheng’s signate on his belt. Ignoring the worried expressions of the slaves around him, Xie Lian quickened his pace. But before he could leave, his master gripped his arm tightly and pulled Xie Lian to his side. 

“General Pei, just give me a moment with my slave before you go.” His master said with forced pleasantry. 

“Make it quick.” General Pei said with a stern look but made no move to step away.

“If anyone asks, you fell,” his master whispered in his ear, so quiet Xie Lian could barely hear him. The grip on his arm was so tight Xie Lian was confident his master’s nails had pierced his skin. “You were carrying water up to my room when you slipped and fell. I called a healer, and they said you were fine.”

Xie Lian nodded, and his master seemed content. “You may go now, General Pei. Return my slave before the first light tomorrow.”

General Pei gave Xie Lian’s master a disapproving glance but did not argue. When he started walking again, Xie Lian followed. He trailed General Pei out of the palace and down the steps where a beautiful carriage made of red-stained wood and silver glowed in the early morning light. It was obvious who this carriage belonged to. No one but Hua Cheng would spend money on something this gaudy. 

Xie Lian eagerly followed General Pei and sat in one of the plush seats. Upon seeing how scantily dressed Xie Lian was for the cool spring night the general graciously offered Xie Lian his cloak. Their drive was silent, which Xie Lian was grateful for. He was scared yet eager to see what awaited him. Hua Cheng never called for him when he wasn’t in the palace, nor did he ever mention anything about General Pei. Hua Cheng so rarely talked about anything about his life beyond their time together unless Xie Lian explicitly asked. They seemed to pass beyond the walls of the city, through a forest trail lined with maple trees and onto an estate. When the carriage came to a stop, Xie Lian was taken aback by what he saw. As wealthy as Hua Cheng was, Xie Lian expected him to have a grand manor with more rooms than he could fill. But the home in front of him was almost modest in size and expertly cared for. It was larger than the average person’s home but not by much. 

“Follow me.” General Pei said as soon as they were out of the carriage. Once they were inside, Xie Lian didn’t have much time to appreciate the splendour. He heard a pained cry, and before General Pei could stop him, Xie Lian ran towards the sound. 

The closer he got, the louder Hua Cheng’s curses became. He didn’t even bother to knock once he found the source, forcing the door open as if he owned the place. Then, as Xie Lian caught his breath, he took in the sight before him. Hua Cheng was sprawled out on a large four-poster bed covered with dark blankets and furs. The healer tending to him looked young, but she looked confident in what she was doing. 

“You need to stop screaming.” The healer said in a soft, stern voice. She then met Xie Lian’s gaze and motioned him inside. 

“Screaming makes it hurt less.” Hua Cheng painted, his voice strained. He had not noticed Xie Lian’s arrival. His eyes closed tight from the pain, and his breathing was laboured, but he was alive. Relief like he had never felt before filled him, making Xie Lian almost lose his balance. He clutched the door frame to steady himself while thanking every god he could remember.

“You should go in.” General Pei whispered behind Xie Lian, startling him. 

With a nod, Xie Lian approached the dark wooden bed. Each step he took eased the worry and dread that had been building since they parted. It had been less than a day, but it was one day too many. 

“San Lang,” Xie Lian whispered as he knelt beside the bed and took Hua Cheng’s hand. Hua Cheng startled and opened his eyes in alarm. His gaze was unfocused and glassy. 

“Gege,” He breathed, gripping Xie Lian’s hand tightly. “Am I hallucinating?”

“I called for him.” The healer said, making Hua Cheng’s gaze gradually shift to hers. 

“That’s was really stupid of you.” Hua Cheng replied as his eyes slid shut again, and he sunk deeper into the bed. The words stung, but nothing would tear Xie Lian away from Hua Cheng’s sickbed. 

“You ungrateful bastard.” General Pei huffed from his spot by the door. “We risked a lot to get him here.”

“Exactly, you shouldn’t AH –” Hua Cheng grunted as the healer peeled back the crimson-stained bandage just above Hua Cheng’s heart. Xie Lian had never seen so much of Hua Cheng’s skin. His chest was littered with scars. Some old, others new. But they were not what held Xie Lian’s attention. Right under Hua Cheng’s heart, there was a shallow knife wound with dark purple lines that looked like spider webs protruding in every direction. It was the only visible wound Xie Lian could see, but it seemed to be the source of Hua Cheng’s suffering. 

“He was poisoned?” Xie Lian guessed, and the healer nodded. 

“It won't kill him on its own.” She offered, and Xie Lian calmed a fraction. “But it will cause him pain and make him more sluggish for a while. If he fought like this, he would be at a severe disadvantage.”

Hua Cheng’s eyes went wide, and he tried to sit up only for the healer to force him back down. For a tiny thing, she sure was strong. 

“Make it go away.” Hua Cheng demanded. “Whatever it takes.”

The healer gave him a look as if she suspected that response but was disappointed all the same. 

“Why do you think I called him here?” the healer said as she rose. She walked over to a desk that was littered with herbs and vials of what looked like medicine. “I can give you another poison that will eat away at the one in your body now. Without it, it will take a few months for the poison in you to leave your system. This could cure you, but I am afraid you’re too weak to survive it. So I’m giving you a chance to say goodbye just in case.”

“No!” Xie Lian was appalled. “What kind of healer are you?”

The healer dropped her gaze, looking apologetic, but began mixing ingredients together anyways. 

“It’s alright, Gege.” Hua Cheng forced out. “I’ve been through worse.”

“Why?” Xie Lian choked. 

Hua Cheng tried to answer but instead let out a painful moan. It was clear he was trying to hold it in, but the pain must have been overwhelming. 

“Because the battle of the boon is in two weeks, and this fool wants to participate.” General Pei answered, sounding just as frustrated as Xie Lian felt. 

Xie Lian did not know who these people were, but if Hua Cheng trusted them to be around him in his most vulnerable state, so did Xie Lian. They seemed to care for Hua Cheng but not enough to save him from himself. 

“Please, don’t.” Xie Lian begged, but Hua Cheng just shook his head. 

“Think of your beloved.” Xie Lian tried even though it pained him to say so. 

“I am.” Hua Cheng gripped his hand a little tighter and forced his eyes to open. He had trouble focusing them, but Xie Lian watched as his face flushed with anger when he did. “Who the hell did this to you?”

At first, Xie Lian did not know what he was talking about. He was in such a state he forgot all about the beating. He barely felt the pain, but he knew his face was still swollen and in the early stages of bruising. He thought about lying. About relaying the story his master had spoken before they left. But he wouldn’t lie to Hua Cheng. He couldn’t. 

“You know who.” Xie Lian muttered. “But that’s not important.”  

“Not important?” Hua Cheng sputtered as if Xie Lian’s words were crazy. “I’ll fucking end him.”

“You can’t if you’re dead.” Xie Lian argued, making Hua Cheng grin slightly. 

“Gege’s concern flatters me.” Hua Cheng sighed, as his outburst seemed to zap the rest of his energy. 

Xie Lian wanted to scold him, scream, and do something to stop him from possibly killing himself. But he couldn’t find the words. 

“Please.” Xie Lian begged again, holding back tears. 

Hua Cheng only tightened his hold on Xie Lian’s hand, but this time it was not as strong as the last. 

“I mixed in a sleeping draft with the poison to help with the pain.” The healer announced, returning to the bedside. “Would you like a moment alone?”

With great difficulty, Hua Cheng opened his eyes again and met Xie Lian’s gaze. They still looked hazy with fever, and he was covered in sweat and dried blood. Xie Lian didn’t want this to be his last memory of him. 

“Please,” Xie Lian tried one final time, sounding wet and pained. He brushed his fingers against Hua Cheng’s brow and tucked a stray lock of hair behind his ear. Hua Cheng leaned into the touch as if savouring it. 

“I’ll be fine.” Hua Cheng whispered, but it sounded weak. 

Xie Lian shook his head.

“Trust me.” Hua Cheng said softly. He held Xie Lian’s gaze for a moment longer, trying but failing to send some message with just his eyes alone. Xie Lian was feeling too many emotions to think straight, let alone figure out what Hua Cheng was trying to tell him, but for some reason, he found himself nodding. 

The smile Hua Cheng gave him in return put all his others to shame. He looked as though he’d just won the best prize. Then Xie Lian remembered their first encounter and what Hua Cheng had said, I know you have no reason to trust me. But with me, over time, I vow to strive to be worthy of your unadulterated trust if you choose to honour me so. The tears Xie Lian had been holding back began to fall. He’d vowed to never trust anyone again, yet here was Hua Cheng proving him wrong yet again. 

Hua Cheng sighed, “I hate to see you cry.” 

“Then stop giving me a reason to.” Xie Lian said as he brushed at his wet cheeks. 

“I’ll be fine.” Hua Cheng said again, then looked to the healer. 

The healer sighed a long, drawn-out breath before she closed her eyes and seemed to steel her resolve. When she opened her eyes again, they blazed with determination. She sat next to Hua Cheng and helped him to sit up. 

Xie Lian wanted to scream, to fight, to do something to stop this. But Hua Cheng already looked so weak. He asked Xie Lian to trust him, so Xie Lian had to trust him. 

“I won’t forget.” The healer whispered, and the words seemed to bring Hua Cheng some comfort. Then, after pressing a kiss to his cheek, the healer helped Hua Cheng swallow the poison until the bowl she’d been holding was empty. 

Xie Lian watched on in horror. Hua Cheng’s body convulsed, his skin turned deathly white, then he stilled. The healer checked his pulse for a long time, every second an eternity, then she finally let go, rested his arm neatly on his chest, and pulled up the covers.  

“He’s stable for now.” The healer announced, although Hua Cheng looked far from it. “He may wake up occasionally feeling disoriented and confused, but the poison should work through his system fully before nightfall.”

“Why?” Xie Lian found himself asking no one in particular. 

The healer looked like she had something to say, but General Pei placed a hand on her shoulder. “While we wait, let my wife tend to your injuries.”

The healer used rare herbs and numerous ointments on Xie Lian’s bruised skin. She treated Xie Lian like a person, not as a slave. Other than Hua Cheng, no one had treated Xie Lian this way since his days as a prince. She made it hard for Xie Lian to be angry with her for poisoning Hua Cheng further. 

Was this healer Hua Cheng’s beloved? Xie Lian wondered as she examined him. She was soft and kind, which was evident from the short time he interacted with her. But she had this determination that Xie Lian saw echoed so often in Hua Cheng. They were likely very close, and the more Xie Lian looked at her, she could see how Hua Cheng might love her. They were so similar and would complement each other well. But she was married to General Pei. Was Hua Cheng secretly fighting for her regardless?

“Could he really die?” Xie Lian asked once the healer had finished tending to him and began packing up her things. 

“Yes,” She sighed, sounding as tired and worried as Xie Lian felt. “But he’s doing better than I thought. I guess I was worried for nothing.”

“I told you, he’s too stubborn to die.” General Pei argued, and the healer forced a smile. 

“You need rest too.” The healer announced and handed Xie Lian a vial. “This will help relax you, but it won’t put you to sleep. So lay down next to him and try to get some rest.”

The bed was huge, almost double the size of the bed in his old bedroom. He and Hua Cheng had shared the bed before when the nights were extra cold, or they fell asleep reading. He hoped Hua Cheng wouldn’t mind if he woke and found Xie Lian in his bed. 

“Thank you.” Xie Lian said and meant it, taking the vial and swallowing it fast. He never liked having to take medicine. 

“In a few hours, you both should wake feeling better than before.” The healer said with a reassuring smile. “We’ll be just in the other room, but call if you need anything.”

Xie Lian watched them go, then gingerly tucked himself into bed. He was careful not to get too close to Hua Cheng, afraid to aggravate his wound or, worse, fall into his embrace and refuse to let go. With the steady sounds of Hua Cheng’s breathing, Xie Lian felt his body start to feel heavy with sleep. Finally, after sending one final prayer to whatever gods would listen, Xie Lian succumbed to slumber, clutching Hua Cheng’s hand tightly. 

~~❀~~

The healer had said that Hua Cheng might wake disoriented, and the first time it happened, it startled Xie Lian awake. He’d bolted upright and dislodged their intertwined palms. Then, with gentle coaxing, Xie Lian managed to lull him back to sleep. 

The second time, Hua Cheng had been in the throes of what appeared to be a nightmare. Xie Lian tried to calm him, but his eyes were glazed with fever when he awoke, and he looked right through Xie Lian. He had to call the healer for assistance when Hua Cheng wouldn’t settle and began reopening his wound. Eventually, Hua Cheng stopped struggling, and after checking on them both, the healer left them alone to rest some more. 

The third time Xie Lian woke, Hue Cheng had already awakened. He was looking at Xie Lian with wonder and running a gentle hand through his hair. 

“Beloved,” Hua Cheng slurred. He sounded just as sick as before, but hearing Hua Cheng call him such made Xie Lian’s heart skip a beat. 

“I’m not –" Xie Lian began, but Hua Cheng cut him off. 

“Shhhh,” Hua Cheng hushed and shuffled closer. They were so close Xie Lian could feel every one of Hua Cheng’s exhales on his lips. “Don’t leave.”

“I won’t leave you.” Xie Lian said and meant it. If it was up to him, he would never leave Hua Cheng’s side again. 

“I want –” Hua Cheng started, then cut himself off. Xie Lian could guess what it was he wanted as Hua Cheng’s gaze flickered from Xie Lian’s eyes to his lips then back again. He knew it was wrong to take advantage of the situation. So wrong. But for months now, Xie Lian wanted to know what it felt like to be kissed by the man he’d fallen in love with. 

“I want too.” Xie Lian whispered, and it seemed that was all the encouragement Hua Cheng needed for his lips to cover Xie Lian’s in a passionate kiss. The angle was terrible, and Hua Cheng’s teeth banged painfully into Xie Lian’s, but he didn’t mind. They were kissing, and that’s all he cared about. 

Then, Xie Lian shifted slightly to get more comfortable, and everything changed. Xie Lian had never been kissed before, but he’d read enough novels to know just how magical they could be. He never thought he would ever know the feeling himself, but here he was. Hua Cheng seemed to hum happily and deepened the kiss. Sweet sparks of heat danced along Xie Lian’s lips and spread through his body like liquid fire, and Xie Lian yielded to the feeling. For one precious, beautiful moment Xie Lian’s world narrowed until all he could feel was Hua Cheng. His touch as he gripped Xie Lian’s waist, his slick lips that intertwined with Xie Lian’s, then just as suddenly it stopped. 

Xie Lian opened his eyes to see that Hua Cheng had fallen back asleep. He looked so content, so beautiful that Xie Lian’s chest overflowed with longing. He knew this had been a mistake, but he couldn’t find it in his heart to feel guilty. Instead, this would become yet another precious memory he would cherish. 

His time with Hua Cheng had always been dear. They’d spent close to a year together where they simply enjoyed one another's company and nothing more. Hua Cheng had a special someone that he believed was worth more than his life. There was nothing Xie Lian could do to change that. He was a slave. He was nothing. Xie Lian didn’t know if he’d be allowed to see Hua Cheng again after today, nor if he would survive the battle of the boon. Their days had always been numbered, but now more than ever, Xie Lian feared their time together was ending. 

He would enjoy these stolen moments until he was forced to leave.

When Hua Cheng woke one final time, the glassy fever look was gone. He seemed surprised to see Xie Lian in his bed, then angry to see him hurt. He didn’t remember Xie Lian’s arrival or much else after getting stabbed by the poisoned dagger. After the healer checked him over, she declared that the poison had done its job and he would be ready for the pits in time for the battle of the boon. At the news, Hua Cheng looked so relieved Xie Lian couldn’t help but feel happy for him. If Xie Lian were in his shoes, he would fight too. For his freedom, his people, for Hua Cheng. But Xie Lian was a slave. He had no rights in the eyes of the law or to Hua Cheng’s heart. 

“I should take you back.” General Pei said, making Xie Lian turn. He’d spent the rest of his time watching Hua Cheng rest. The healer had insisted he take another sleeping draft to speed up the healing process, and Hua Cheng had complied willingly. “I’m sure he won’t mind if you wake him to say goodbye.”

“It’s okay.” Xie Lian said, unable to help himself as he placed one final kiss on Hua Cheng’s brow. “He needs his rest.”

Chapter Text

It was incredibly early and the sun had begun to rise. The palace staff were just beginning to start their day while the rest of its occupants continued to sleep. When Xie Lian returned, he was immediately instructed to meet with his master in his chambers. Usually, his master was still in bed at this time, which meant Xie Lian and the slave girl would have minimal work to do until he awoke. 

Today, however, when Xie Lian entered his master’s bedchambers, his master was already wide awake and changed with his mostly untouched breakfast out on the table. He’d appeared to be pacing the room, a habit he only did when he was nervously trying to resolve a problem. 

“There you are!” His master hissed as Xie Lian closed the door. 

“Apologies for not knocking, Master.” Xie Lian said with a bow. 

His master approached Xie Lian and dragged him further into the room. “I don't care about that. Tell me, is that bastard still alive?”

Xie Lian knew he had to weigh his words carefully. His master seemed to be on a shorter fuse than usual. “Which bastard, Master?”

“Hua Cheng, of course!” His master yelled. “I know General Pei is his lapdog and that he brought you to Hua Cheng’s private home. Not even Hua Cheng’s slaves are allowed into that foreboding place. Only his inner circle.”

General Pei had told Xie Lian about the battle. Hua Cheng had won easily, defeating his opponent who only managed to land a shallow knife wound to Hua Cheng’s chest. It wasn't until a few hours later that they even realized the knife had been poisoned. The healer was unfamiliar with its origins, but believed it to be a mix of long-lasting toxins aimed to weaken the body, slow healing, and cause intense flashes of pain. 

Obviously, the goal of this challenge was not to defeat Hua Cheng, but to weaken him. Someone, and Xie Lian could guess who, had convinced the general to carry out this plan. Xie Lian assumed it was the King, and General Pei had agreed with him. Now, his master’s reaction confirmed it. No one but someone directly involved in this plot would have known Hua Cheng had been poisoned, as he had seemed fine after the battle. 

“Yes, Master.”

“Good,” His master gloated, making Xie Lian want to throttle him. But, instead, he had to force himself to stay calm. His nails dug painfully in his palms from clenching them so tightly. “I was worried when General Pei showed up it meant that the poison was too potent and we’d killed the bastard by accident. Did he seem to be in a lot of pain?”

“Yes, Master.”

“The King will be pleased! Hua Cheng doesn’t deserve a quick death.” The pride in his master’s voice made Xie Lian nauseous, and his ears ring. “Did he say if he would be fighting again anytime soon?”

It was clear their plan was to poison Hua Cheng then take him out in another challenge. The healer confirmed that Hua Cheng should be well enough by the date for the battle of the boon, as long as he rested until then. But knowing Hua Cheng, he didn’t like to sit still. 

“Yes, Master.”

“The battle of the boon?”

Xie Lian took a deep breath, needing a moment to remain calm. Hua Cheng’s intention to participate in the battle of the boon was no secret. Confirming it now wouldn’t hinder Hua Cheng in any way. “Yes, Master.”

“Perfect!” His master screeched in delight. “My plan is working perfectly! I have to tell the King. Make sure all your chores are done before I get back.”

“Yes, Master.” Xie Lain forced out as he watched his master leave the room. He had always loathed the man, but never had Xie Lian thought of killing him. In the early days of the new regime, he’d heard stories of slaves that murdered their masters. They were always caught and made an example of to warn others who thought of doing the same. But at that moment, Xie Lian didn’t care. His master and the King had been the ones responsible for Hua Cheng’s suffering. They deserved to be punished for so much, and their deaths would be poetic justice. 

Fear had made Xie Lian docile for years. He gave up on the idea of fighting back because he always thought surviving was more important. Hua Cheng had told him he continued to compete for his beloved because they needed him too. So, he had dedicated his entire life to training and fighting no matter what. Xie Lian still didn’t like the idea of Hua Cheng battling, but he at least now had a better understanding of his resolve. To give your life in an attempt to end another’s suffering was a worthy cause. 

When his parents and most of the people he knew had been murdered, Xie Lian had been scared, young, and full of grief. His mother’s dying wish was for him to survive, and Xie Lian did his best to accomplish that. Now however, things were different. Xie Lian had no rights, was owned by his master, and had nothing but his love for Hua Cheng to sustain him. 

He needed to warn Hua Cheng. Xie Lian prayed he would see him again before the battle of the boon. Maybe this would make the general rethink his plans. Even as he considered it, Xie Lian doubted it.

~~ ❀~~

Five long days passed without any news. Xie Lian was going out of his mind with worry. His master had been gone for most of the time, leaving Xie Lian and the slave girl alone with nothing to do. He had only returned once the night after Xie Lian had returned to change his clothes quickly, but he didn’t give them any orders or even acknowledge their existence.

Without being dismissed or called on by Yin Yu, Xie Lian and the slave girl stayed and waited. They took turns trying to sleep. Xie Lian was restless, but he somehow managed to sleep a few hours each night. Nothing quieted his mind the way sleep did. It was strange – the one thing he used to dread most brought him comfort now. His body had become more accustomed to a good night's rest over the last year, and the dreams that plagued him were less common when he slept in the servant’s quarters and nonexistent when he was with Hua Cheng. 

“What do you think is going on?” The slave girl asked, breaking the days-long silence. It had been so long even she was beginning to wonder what was going on. 

“I don’t know.” Xie Lian answered honestly. Occasionally they could hear footsteps and the sound of people chatting as they passed but nothing more. For all they knew, it was business as usual in the palace apart from their missing master. 

The slave girl’s lips curled up into a small smile, “Master isn’t usually gone for so long.” 

Xie Lian thought she looked relieved. 

“I’m sorry for how he treats you.” Xie Lian knew the apology was inadequate, but he’d wanted to say it so many times. 

The slave girl just shrugged. “It could be worse.”

Xie Lian hated that she was right. 

“Still…” Xie Lian started, but the slave girl cut him off. 

“Please,” The girl begged, and Xie Lian let it go. There wasn't anything he could say or do to change how things were. They shouldn’t even be talking. But his time with Hua Cheng had made him a little braver and less blind to the suffering of those around him. Just because seeing a mistreated slave was the norm didn’t mean he should continue to be desensitized to it. 

Instead, Xie Lian suggested she rest, and the silence returned. 

~~ ❀~~

Another four days passed before their master returned. His unconscious body was carried in by three men, and it looked like he had been through hell and back. The two healers accompanying them had been in a tizz, ordering Xie Lian and the slave girl to fetch hot water and clean linen. They barked orders on how best to clean some of their masters' more minor injuries while they worked together on cleaning and stitching the much deeper ones. 

It looked like someone had tortured him brutally for days. His body was completely covered with cuts and bruises in various stages of healing, and some of his limbs were twisted at odd angles. Xie Lian was no healer, but it seemed like someone had taken the time to treat some of the older, more severe injuries as if their goal was to save his master’s life temporarily, only to prolong the suffering. The thought made Xie Lian shiver. He had a sinking suspicion of who was behind this. Hua Cheng had been furious when he saw Xie Lian’s injuries, but this was overkill. 

It took them hours, but eventually they had done all they could. His master would either wake, or would succumb to his injuries. If he did survive, the healers said it would take him months before he’d be well again, and even then his quality of life would be poor. 

So many of his bones had been broken that they couldn’t heal correctly. The healers did their best, but they agreed that his chances of walking and using his hands again would be low. The King had been furious when he saw him and demanded he be called back once his cousin awoke. Xie Lian and the slave girl tended to him reluctantly for two days with little rest. Different healers came in and out to check on his master, but they all came to the same conclusion. 

Still, Yin Yu did not call on Xie Lian. With the battle only a few days away, Xie Lian was anxious. He had no way to contact Hua Cheng, nor could he trust attempting to send a letter. 

Finally, when his master woke, the healer declared he would likely live. The King was called in shortly after and demanded to speak to his cousin alone. The healers packed their bags quickly, and just when Xie Lian and the slave girl were getting ready to go as well, the King informed them to stay in case his master needed anything. 

“Who did this to you?” The King demanded furiously. He looked so angry that Xie Lian feared he might start breaking things. He had heard stories of the King’s tantrums and his short temper. Breaking tables and throwing objects when he was mildly inconvenienced. 

“Mercenaries, your majesty.” his master choked out. His neck had dark purple bruises that looked like they had been caused by a tight rope around his neck. 

The King slammed his hand against the stone wall, making the room tremble slightly. “Do you know who hired them?”

“The drug cartel, your majesty.” His master said with difficulty. “They thought I had information about the drugs you intercepted.”

“Really?” The King seemed surprised. “Are you sure it was them?”

His master coughed, and the slave girl gave him some water to drink. “Yes, your majesty. They all had snake tattoos on their forearms. Did your men not capture them?”

“No,” The King seethed. “They were long gone by the time the generals found you.” 

“You’ll catch them, your majesty. I know you will!” 

It seemed his master’s brown-nosing had no limits if he was still spouting such praises from his sickbed.

“The timing for all this was really inconvenient, cousin.” The King said warningly. “Are you sure you are not lying to me?”

“No, your majesty! I would never!” His master looked appalled and tried to sit up. However, the outburst caused another round of coughing and a loud moan of pain, alerting the healer. 

“Apologies, your majesty!” The healer begged as she barged into the room. “Your cousin is in a very delicate state. If he is to live, he needs more rest before you question him.”

The King gave one final look at his cousin’s sorry state. He looked beyond disappointed and enraged. Then, without another word, he left, and the tension in the room faded along with him. 

“I need to get him something more for the pain.” The healer said to them. “One of you fetch more water while the other makes sure he doesn’t move or speak anymore.”

The slave girl nodded and quickly left the room, leaving Xie Lian alone with his master. Even though Xie Lian hated the man, he looked to be genuinely suffering. Sweat began to bead on his brow, and Xie Lian used a washcloth to dab at his skin. His master’s breathing was harsh, each breath sounding incredibly painful. Then, just when Xie Lian was pulling away to re-soak the washcloth, his master’s battered, broken hand reached out and attempted to grab his arm. The action must have been harrowing and Xie Lian was so taken aback he paused.

“I told you….” His master paused to take a sharp breath, his voice so quiet Xie Lian could barely hear him. “To tell him… you…. fell.” Then he slipped unconscious again.

~~ ❀~~

The day of the battle of the boon arrived, and not much had changed. His master was still in and out of consciousness, and Yin Yu still had not come to call on Xie Lian. Not for the first time, Xie Lian cursed himself for not waking Hua Cheng before he left. He truly believed he would see the general again once he recovered more. Since meeting, they had never gone this long without seeing one another, and Xie Lian was getting desperate. 

Any excuse he had to leave his master’s rooms he took, and he kept an ear out for gossip. Not all the palace servants who worked for the King were enslaved. Many of them earned a wage for their work, and had homes to go to at the end of the day. The servants were abuzz with activity. Apparently, there would be a large banquet held for the winner at the palace so they could formally ask the King for the boon. 

Everyone was curious what those mad enough to participate in such a tournament would ask for. Many of the top generals were rumoured to participate, and only one would survive. The odds were almost impossible. People had better luck challenging a general to a one-on-one challenge than to win this tournament. 

Xie Lian thought about trying to sneak away to the amphitheatre, but the palace and the city streets were positively packed with people. There was no way he would manage to leave undetected. He thought about trying to escape through the secret tunnels underground, the very same ones he had used to escape the palace the night his parents had been murdered, but that had gone so horribly last time Xie Lian didn’t bother to risk it.

Finally, when he’d been sent to the kitchens to grab his master’s dinner, Xie Lian overheard a group of the pantry servants gossiping. 

“It was so romantic!” one of the girls gushed to the group. “You should have seen him!”

“Then hurry up and tell us before we get scolded for not working!” said another. 

The girl stood a little straighter and looked around to see if anyone had caught them. Xie Lian thankfully managed to tuck himself between two crates of vegetables and was well enough hidden. “Well, when he walked into the room, the entire banquet hall went into a frenzy! They were all cheering and screaming to find out what boon General Hua wanted from the King!”

General Hua.

Upon hearing Hua Cheng’s title, Xie Lian’s legs gave out. He slid to the floor and hugged his knees to his chest, bewildered. Hua Cheng was alive. He managed to survive. Relief overwhelmed him so entirely that Xie Lian almost missed the rest of the girl’s story.

“He walked right up to the King’s table. Bowed and said, ‘I wish to gain your majesty’s permission to marry my beloved,’ and I swear my heart almost gave out! He looked so in love just thinking about it makes me swoon.”

Of course , Xie Lian thought. Everything Hua Cheng ever had done was for his beloved. Even though Xie Lian shouldn’t be surprised, the news still made his throat burn.

“Who’s his beloved?” one of the girls asked.

“Not sure.” the girl answered. “But I overheard from another general that they were General Hua’s childhood sweetheart!”

“Awe, how romantic!” one of the girls crooned.

“I wish I was General Hua’s beloved.” another whined, and all the girls giggled. “He’s so handsome.” 

“As if.” one of the girls scoffed.

“Hey, wait,” one of the girls interrupted. “Why ask the King’s permission to marry? Isn’t that a waste of the boon?”

The girl shrugged. “Maybe the family is against the marriage and refused General Hua’s proposal?"

“They’re mad then!” one of the girls laughed, and the others agreed. “General Hua is like the most eligible bachelor in the kingdom next to the King.”

“Maybe his beloved is the King’s sister?” one of the girls suggested, but the girls seemed to disagree.

“I don’t think so.” one said.

“Yeah, she’s always been all over him, and General Hua never seemed interested.” another said.

“What about that whore of his?” one of the girls asked, and Xie Lian felt as if the whole world had just stopped. 

“You think?” one of the girls asked.

“Oh yeah, maybe!” another said. “General Hua wouldn’t be allowed to marry a slave.”

“I doubt it.” the girl from before said. “General Hua has been in and out of the palace all week to report on the search for the King’s cousin, and he never once called on that slave. I think he’s over him.”

The remaining fragments of Xie Lian’s heart splintered and fractured into a million pieces. He’d just assumed Hua Cheng had been too busy to call on him or that he was still recovering. He never imagined any other possibility. A part of Xie Lian told him not to listen to their gossip. But everything else they had said sounded so believable. 

“What’s going on in here!” the head servant yelled, and the girls scurried to get back to work. 

Xie Lian spent longer than he was proud of curled up on the floor of the pantry, trying not to cry. 

~~ ❀~~

“Are you alright?” the slave girl whispered to Xie Lian once he returned, but instead of answering, Xie Lian just shook his head. 

~~ ❀~~

Xie Lian watched as the morning rays began to colour his master’s room. The slave girl had been using Xie Lian’s lap to sleep most of the night as Xie Lian ran a soothing hand through her hair absentmindedly. She made Xie Lian promise to wake her after a few hours, but Xie Lian didn’t bother. He knew he wouldn’t be able to sleep, so one of them deserved a full night’s rest. Their master’s condition was still very much the same, but Xie Lian was almost positive Yin Yu would not return to call on him this time. They were only about an hour into their chores for the day when one of their master’s subordinates came into the room.

“You there,” the man said, pointing to Xie Lian. “Say your goodbyes, and follow me.”

“Why?” Xie Lian asked, perplexed. 

This man was one of his master’s kinder subordinates. He always tried to give the slaves an extra serving at dinner, and he would sometimes let you pick what jobs you wanted for the day. Finally, the man looked over at their sleeping master and made his way further into the room. “You’re leaving the palace today. You have a new master, King’s orders.”

“No!” The slave girl cried then immediately checked to make sure she hadn’t woken their master. “Please, don’t leave me.”

Over the last decade, Xie Lian hadn’t really made any friends. Slaves mostly kept to themselves and did as they were told. But he considered this girl as close to a friend as he’d ever come to with another slave, and it pained him to have to leave her behind. Xie Lian opened his arms, and the slave girl tentatively hugged him. 

“I’m sorry.” Xie Lian said, the words carrying so much meaning. They weren’t enough. His words to her never were. But Xie Lian hoped she understood. She hugged him until the man told them they had to go, and Xie Lian left with a heavy heart. 

Xie Lian’s emotions had been all over the place. His thoughts were so conflicting and crushing over the past few weeks, being traded or sold to a new master shouldn’t have even phased him. But it did. He didn’t want to leave. He didn’t want a new master. He wanted to be with Hua Cheng. 

Just like all those months ago, Xie Lian forced himself to put one foot in front of the other and steel himself for whatever awaited him. He did not have any other choice. They walked through the halls, out through the back entrance, until they reached the courtyard where a familiar carriage awaited him. 

Yin Yu and General Pei stood next to the carriage waiting, and Xie Lian was shocked to see them. For a moment, he just stood there gaping. 

“Thank you for getting him for us.” General Pei said as he slipped the man a small coin purse. “We’ll be on our way now.”

“Wait,” Xie Lian said before he had the chance to think better of it. He looked to General Pei then to Yin Yu and bowed deeply. “Please, the slave girl that usually works with me, purchase her too.”

If anyone else were here, Xie Lian wouldn’t dare. But these were Hua Cheng’s trusted companions, and the slave girl was worth the risk. When no one said anything, Xie Lian continued. “She works hard, and I know she’ll be able to serve you well.”

“Stop.” General Pei said, and Xie Lian obeyed. He was startled when a hand reached for his shoulder and gently nudged him to stand again. “You don’t have to bow to us,” he said so quietly that only Xie Lian heard. 

“How much for the girl?” Yin Yu asked, and Xie Lian felt relieved. 

The man gave them all a curious look but kept his thoughts to himself. “As you know, our master hasn’t been very well. I doubt he will approve of the transaction.”

“Whatever he usually sells his slaves for, we’ll triple, and we’ll make sure to inform General Hua of how accommodating you’ve all been.” General Pei said as he reached into his breast pocket and pulled out a heavy-looking purse. “Consider this a small thank you and let your master know the rest of the gold will be delivered before this afternoon.”

The man looked shocked then schooled his reaction. “I don’t think –”

“We’ll wait,” Yin Yu interrupted. “Grab the girl and name your master’s price.”

When the man didn’t leave immediately, General Pei said, “If your master has any objections, he can take them up with General Hua directly.”

That seemed to get the man’s attention, and after muttering a few parting words, he left in a hurry. Would Hua Cheng become his new master? He had never asked Hua Cheng about it, but Xie Lian used to wish he’d just purchase Xie Lian instead of calling on him at the palace. The few times Xie Lian saw Hua Cheng interact with his slaves, he wasn’t as cruel as his master was. He was harsh and scolded them at times, but he’d only seen him actually strike one of them that first day. 

But then Xie Lian remembered that Hua Cheng had asked the King’s permission to marry his beloved, and his thoughts soured. It would be torture to be forced to serve Hua Cheng and his beloved. But if it meant getting the slave girl away from that monster and being closer to Hua Cheng, Xie Lian thought it might be tolerable. Maybe.

When the man returned with the slave girl, she looked at Xie Lian and smiled.

~~ ❀~~

The manor was just as Xie Lian remembered it. 

When they arrived, Yin Yu opened the carriage door and helped Xie Lian and the slave girl out. There hadn’t been enough room for all of them, so General Pei had ridden in the front with Yin Yu, and Xie Lian didn’t bother questioning it. He thought it was weird to have two slaves ride in such an elegant carriage while a general rode in the front, but it wasn’t his place to ask. 

Before they could make it up to the front entrance, the large, heavy door opened.  

“Welcome back!” the healer greeted Xie Lian excitedly, then turned to the slave girl. “Who’s this?”

The slave girl bowed, and Xie Lian followed. 

“I thought I told you not to bow to us.” General Pei said, not unkindly. “Hua Cheng would have our heads if he saw.”

Xie Lian rose and asked the question he’d been dying to ask. “How is he?”

The healer smiled kindly and motioned for them all to come inside. “He’s mad about it, but I have him back on bed rest. He wanted to come down to greet you, but I said no. After we get you changed, you can go see him.”

Xie Lian looked down at himself and wondered why he needed to change. Since becoming his master’s personal slave, or now his previous master’s, Xie Lian continued to wear the serving outfit from almost a year ago. Hua Cheng had never requested him to change before, but now that he was his master, maybe Hua Cheng’s rules differed. He’d probably be asked to wear those tinkling bells he always saw Hua Cheng’s slaves wear. He’d have to get used to new rules. 

“Yin Yu will show you where to go while I take care of our new arrival.” The healer said, gesturing to the slave girl. She looked nervous to part from Xie Lian, but she obeyed. She didn’t say much since they left the palace, only a small thank you, which Xie Lian again felt he didn’t deserve. 

“Come with me.” Yin Yu said, and Xie Lian followed as he led him through the manor. When they arrived at their destination, Xie Lian recognized the room they were standing in front of was right next to Hua Cheng’s. Xie Lian thought it was strange but didn’t comment on it. “Change into anything you want in the closet. The door to the left connects with Hua Cheng’s. You can enter through there. Ring the bell if you need anything.”

Yin Yu left, and Xie Lian gasped once he opened the door. The room mirrored Hua Cheng’s perfectly, but with elaborate furnishing and intricate decor in different shades of ivory and gold rather than red and silver. If this room truly connected with Hua Cheng’s as Yin Yu had said, this room had to be the mistress suit and intended for Hua Cheng’s beloved. The room didn’t look lived in, but Xie Lian could see where special attention to detail had been made. The writing desk was fully stocked with lavish calligraphy brushes and inkstone, the bookshelves housed many books and baubles, and the closet was full of elegant robes. Xie Lian could almost see Hua Cheng’s faceless beloved making themselves at home in this stunning space, filling him with spite and sorrow.

Why he had been led here to change was a cruel torment, representing everything he longed for but would never have. Hua Cheng’s heart. But Xie Lian had been instructed to change and to meet Hua Cheng in his room. Even though Xie Lian knew it would be hard to see Hua Cheng again, it was all his treacherous heart had been longing for. He picked the simplest-looking robes he could find, a pure white set with cream-coloured flowers and butterflies embroidered on the sleeves. The fabric was the same thick breathable fabric of the robes he used to wear daily in the palace as a prince, and it made him nostalgic as he dressed. Of course, Hua Cheng would have nothing but the best for his beloved. So why had Xie Lian been told to change here?

He didn’t give himself time to puzzle it out. Hua Cheng did strange things all the time when it came to Xie Lian. Maybe, Hua Cheng’s beloved had rejected him. He remembered the pantry girl saying he had asked the King for his beloved’s hand because they had refused his proposal. Was Xie Lian expected to be some sort of stand-in? Was that what Xie Lian had always been to Hua Cheng? A proxy beloved for Hua Cheng to dote on since he couldn’t have the real thing? A sob threatened to leave Xie Lian’s throat unbidden as he forced himself to finish getting dressed. He took a moment to compose himself. Hua Cheng hated to see him cry. Xie Lian needed to remind himself of who he was. He was nothing but a slave. He had to obey his master. A doll to be played with or be thrown away like trash. 

Xie Lian focused all his energy on hiding his warring emotions and forced himself to knock on the door that would lead him to Hua Cheng. 

“Enter.” Hua Cheng said, sounding void of the warmth he usually heard in it. Obediently, Xie Lian opened the door and made his way inside. It didn’t take long for Xie Lian to spot him. Hua Cheng lounged on the divan in nothing but a dark silk bathrobe tied loosely at the waist with a book in his lap. He didn’t bother to look up as he said, “They should be arriving soon. Can I get dressed now, or will I have to fight my way past you to greet him?”

Xie Lian didn’t know what he was talking about, but at the sight of seeing his beloved alive and well, all the effort Xie Lian had been using to keep himself together crumbled. His shaking legs wanted to give out, but Xie Lian forced himself to stay upright, leaning all his weight on a nearby table for support. He must have made some sort of noise, for Hua Cheng looked up to meet his gaze in shock.

“Gege,” Hua Cheng breathed his name for Xie Lian like a prayer. “You’re here.”

Xie Lian nodded and tried but failed at thinking of what to say. All he wanted to do was run into Hua Cheng’s arms and check with his own eyes that his beloved was really okay. But Xie Lian knew he had no right to his own desires and made himself stay put. Slowly Hua Cheng began to rise, causing the already loose-fitting rob to open more. A thick white bandage wrapped around his torso, and judging by how Hua Cheng was fighting to stand, Xie Lian could tell he was injured. The distress Xie Lian was feeling must have shown on his face, for Hua Cheng was quick to retie the robe and look away. 

Before Hua Cheng could voice some lie about how he was fine, Xie Lian was across the room and helping his beloved back down into a more comfortable position. It was a familiar gesture he’d done many times in the past year together. Hua Cheng would always try to hide his injuries from Xie Lian, and Xie Lian would force him to rest. He wanted to ask Hua Cheng how he was doing, tell him how thankful he was that he was still alive, but it was as though his mouth had been sewn shut. He’d gone from believing he would never see Hua Cheng again to having the privilege of seeing him in his home again and presumably every day for the foreseeable future. 

“You look beautiful in those robes.” Hua Cheng whispered as he brushed a hand through Xie Lian’s hair. He could smell the pain tonic Hua Cheng often took on his breath, making Xie Lian wonder how sober his actions were. Remembering the last time Hua Cheng had whispered sweet drug-induced words made Xie Lian flush and recollect himself. He made himself move from where he was sitting next to Hua Cheng to the floor on his knees where he belonged. Before he could bow to greet his new master the way he should have from the moment he’d entered the room, Hua Cheng stopped him. 

“What are you doing?” Hua Cheng asked, appalled, and forced Xie Lian back onto the divan. The action made Hua Cheng wince slightly in pain, and immediately Xie Lian felt guilty. He’d only been in his new master’s presence for a few moments, and he was already screwing up.

“This one apologizes,” Xie Lian said solemnly. He’d forgotten to address Hua Cheng as his master, and upon realizing his mistake, Xie Lian couldn’t find it in him to correct himself. Hua Cheng had always been San Lang to him. Xie Lian was still trying to come to terms with his new reality. But he would adapt. He always did. 

“It is I who should be apologizing to you.” Hua Cheng said bitterly, his expression full of anger and resentment. “It should have never taken this long to get you away from those bastards. This worthless servant vows to spend the rest of his life making it up to you.”

This time it was Hua Cheng who fell to the ground and forced himself to bow. Confused and worried about his injuries, Xie Lian instantly followed suit and tried to push Hua Cheng back up. When Hua Cheng didn’t budge, Xie Lian begged, “Please, sit up.”

Instantly Hua Cheng obeyed as if he was the slave following his master’s orders instead of the other way around. He looked at Xie Lian with such a vulnerable expression that the emotions he’d been trying to suppress up until now suddenly overpowered him. He covered his face with his hands to hide the tears he felt building, but when Hua Cheng wrapped him in his warm arms, Xie Lian wept openly. He couldn’t help himself. Everything just hit him all at once. He wasn’t even sure what exactly tipped him over the edge. He wasn’t sure how long he sat there on the hard floor in Hua Cheng’s embrace, but by the time his sobs had started to subside, his legs felt numb. Despite his injuries, Hua Cheng helped him back onto the divan without breaking his hold around Xie Lian. He felt raw and wrung out in a cathartic way as if a decade’s worth of pent-up anguish had worked its way through him. 

Hua Cheng used his sleeve to dab at Xie Lian’s wet face tenderly and offered him a cup half filled with water. As Xie Lian drank, he realized the glass must have been Hua Cheng’s as the tepid liquid soothed his throat. 

“I have something for you.” Hua Cheng said, taking the empty cup from Xie Lian and handing him a small wooden box. Xie Lian must have looked as confused as he felt because Hua Cheng then added, “It’s the boon I requested from the King.”

“This?” Xie Lian asked, perplexed. His words came out hoarse from all the crying he’d done. The box was so small it fit in the palm of Xie Lian’s hand. How could something so tiny be worth the lives of so many? Curiosity got the better of him, and Xie Lian opened the box. Inside was a short silver key no bigger than Xie Lian’s pinky finger. “What does it open?

It was too small for a standard lock, and there were more key wards that Xie Lian was used to seeing on a key. Hua Cheng took the key from the box and waited for Xie Lian to meet his intense gaze. “It unlocks the greatest treasure in all the kingdom.”

Hua Cheng raised his hand to Xie Lian’s neck without breaking eye contact and gently gripped the silver chain around his neck. Xie Lian didn’t dare to draw in a breath as Hua Cheng fit the key into the shackle that had been a part of him for so long and twisted the key with a loud click. The chain loosened, and as Hua Cheng tossed the silver onto the floor, Xie Lian took his first true breath in a decade. Somehow the air smelled sweeter as it filled his lungs completely. Xie Lian could only watch, dumbfounded as Hua Cheng knelt down on one knee and unlocked the chains around his ankles. It wasn’t until all three shackles were thrown to the ground that Xie Lian really took in the gravity of the situation. 

Was this all some elaborate dream? Had the stress and exhaustion of the past few weeks finally caught up to him that Xie Lian’s mind was imagining the impossible? Hua Cheng looked up from where he was kneeling on the floor, and once he was sure Xie Lian was watching, he put one hand over his heart and bowed. It had been over a decade since Xie Lian last saw someone pledge their loyalty to the crown, but he’d grown up watching others address his father that way.

“This humble servant apologizes for taking so long to free you, Dianxia, and this one begs your forgiveness.” Hua Cheng declared mournfully. Xie Lian found himself entirely at a loss for words. Shocked to his core, Xie Lian could do nothing but join Hua Cheng back on the floor, careful not to land on the silver shackles. A million thoughts ran through his head. He always suspected Hua Cheng knew who he was but never did he consider for even a moment that this had been Hua Cheng’s objective all along. 

“San Lang,” Xie Lian trembled, trying to make sense of everything. “I don’t understand.”

“We all thought you had died when you never returned.” Hua Cheng replied as if that answered everything. “But when I saw you that day at the banquet, and the King saw my reaction, I knew I had put you in great danger. Every moment since then, I’ve been trying to think of a way to free you, and I apologize this was the only solution I could think of.”

“What was?” Xie Lian was still so confused he was having a hard time following. It was easier to focus on how uncomfortable their positions on the ground were, so Xie Lian stood and made Hua Cheng follow until they were both sitting more comfortably on the divan again. 

Hua Cheng looked almost sheepish. “I have much to tell you, and I’m not really sure where to begin.”

“How about the beginning?” Xie Lian suggested, and Hua Cheng did. 

He told Xie Lian about a little boy who ran away from home and worked in the palace gardens. One day, while picking apples from the palace orchard, the little boy had slipped from a tall branch, and the crown prince managed to catch him before he hit the ground. From then on, the little boy looked up to the crowned prince and vowed to repay his life debt to him in some way. When he was old enough, he asked to join the army and began training hard. The little boy wanted to become one of the palace guards and maybe one day be blessed with the opportunity to protect the crown prince. 

Then the war came. 

The boy had still been too young to join in the actual battles, but he managed to stand by the crown prince’s side when the fight at the palace broke out. The queen had instructed him and the sword’s master’s apprentice to get her son out of the castle and travel with him to her sister’s kingdom in the north. 

Xie Lian remembered the rest. They stopped at the kitchens to try and stock up on supplies and found two children, a boy and a girl, huddled together, scared out of their minds as the sounds of battle grew louder and louder. Xie Lian had insisted they take the children with them even though the apprentice had advised against it. Sneaking out of the palace through the underground tunnels had been the easy part. The five of them hid down there until dawn broke, and everything had gone eerily silent. Xie Lian had wanted to check to see if his parents had survived, but the apprentice forced them to go. When they got outside, the streets were covered in blood and dead bodies. 

It didn’t take long for someone to spot them and for them to have to fight their way to the city gates. Then the apprentice had been gravely injured, and Xie Lian made the decision for them all to go back into hiding. They found a small cave, and he left the young soldier in charge, giving him his weapons and food while Xie Lian left to look for help. Xie Lian believed he would have been less of a target if he went on his own, but he wasn’t aware of how deep his people’s hatred ran. When someone spotted him, a young man wearing fine clothing, they’d rallied together, captured him, and sold him into slavery. For days Xie Lian watched as villagers rounded up wealthy nobles from their hiding spots and either murdered them or threw them in the cart to be sold. In the beginning, not a day went by where Xie Lian didn’t worry about what had happened to the apprentice, the young soldier, and the two children. The apprentice had been on death’s door, and the others had been too young to defend themselves. 

“How did you survive?” Xie Lian asked. 

“When the food ran out, Pei Su and I went out to try and find more.” At some point, Hua Cheng’s hand had ended up in Xie Lian’s, giving him something to hold onto and ground him. “We were lucky. A skilled healer found us, treated Yin Yu’s wounds and gave us shelter. She’d lost her husband and son to the war and hated the new regime as much as we did. Yin Yu was scared someone would recognize him, so ever since then, he’d worn a mask to hide his identity. His injuries made it so he would never become a true swordmaster, but he taught Pei Su and me everything he knew. When we told the group we wanted to join the fighting pits, Ban Yue began training to be a healer, and the rest is history.”

“Why?” Xie Lian questioned again. It was the one question he kept coming back to over his time with Hua Cheng. 

“Pei Su wanted to protect his beloved.” Hua Cheng said carefully and handed Xie Lian a folded sheet of paper that had been marking his page in his book. “And I wanted to avenge mine.” 

Xie Lian unfolded the paper, sucked in a gasp, and closed his eyes. It was the drawing Hua Cheng had painted of him all those months ago. Just as hauntingly beautiful and raw as Xie Lian expected it would be. The paper looked like it had been folded and unfolded hundreds of times, barely holding itself together. 

“My beloved is a beautiful, generous and loving person. He saved my life, and I’ve been in love with him ever since I was young. But when he needed me the most, I failed him, and I’ve spent the last decade of my life living in regret and doing my best to become a stronger person to avenge him. I wanted to make the people that took him from me suffer, and I began challenging generals one by one until one day I would be strong enough to take on the King. I believed my beloved had died, but when I found him again in chains and forced to serve scum, I halted all my plans and came up with a reckless scheme to free him. I made his master believe he would be a useful spy so he wouldn’t harm him, and I spent months planting seeds among the other generals to participate in a tournament where we could ask anything from the King. However, I knew if I simply asked for his freedom, the King would never grant it since my beloved was a slave and no slave had ever been freed before. So instead, I orchestrated the battle of the boon, won, and asked for permission to marry him in front of everyone. Doing so would change my beloved’s status from being a slave to being my husband. It is a different kind of shackle but one that would allow my reputation to protect him.”

Xie Lian was numb. He was still struggling to process all that Hua Cheng had told him, but he had to have understood that last bit wrong. He was Hua Cheng’s beloved and was now to become his husband ? 

“I don’t understand.” Xie Lian parroted again, truly bewildered and waiting to wake up from this impossible dream. 

“After the wedding, I can set you up somewhere far away from here with your own servants somewhere safe.” Hua Cheng was quick to offer. “Then once you’re able to take your rightful place as King where you belong, we can annul the marriage.”

“Why?” It seemed why and I don’t understand were the only words Xie Lian knew.

Hua Cheng gave him an earnest look and replied, “I only want your happiness, Dianxia.”

For years, Xie Lian was so used to having to hold back his words. Now when he needed them the most, he had none. He still had no idea if this was all real. A part of him almost believed he had died, and this was his twisted version of heaven. He was Hua Cheng’s beloved, they were going to get married, and he wanted Xie Lian’s happiness? Xie Lian couldn’t really fathom what ‘happiness’ meant anymore. The concept wasn’t one Xie Lian had the privilege to sincerely indulge in for years. But he knew that any chance at happiness he had would be at Hua Cheng’s side. 

Xie Lian steeled his nerves and scooted closer to his beloved. His stubborn, handsome, reckless, beloved who believed Xie Lian to still be worthy of his birthright. As he was, Xie Lian was not fit to be King. He’d spent a decade thinking he was nothing, and he was too weak to protect himself, his people, and his title. But maybe, with enough training and dedication, Xie Lian could earn that right. Hua Cheng had been fighting a battle so much larger than himself for Xie Lian for so long. If Xie Lian didn’t love Hua Cheng already so completely, that devotion alone would have had Xie Lian well on his way to falling for him.  

They still had a lot to discuss. So much so that just thinking about it made Xie Lian’s head swim way more than it already had been. But Xie Lian was out of words, and Hua Cheng looked at him with just as much love and devotion as Xie Lian felt for him. So instead of trying and failing to find the right words, Xie Lian let his actions speak for him. Careful to not jostle Hua Cheng’s injuries, Xie Lian climbed into the lap of his beloved. He cradled his handsome face with both hands, making his intentions very clear. Now it was Hua Cheng’s turn to look bewildered, but when Xie Lian closed the distance between them, Hua Cheng met him halfway. 

Every kiss was electric, every gentle touch a promise of more until they were both sated and had given all they could. With their bodies intertwined and their hearts beating as one, Xie Lian was home. 

~~ ❀~~

They married that autumn. A private ceremony, just for themselves and their inner circle as witnesses. Their wedding gifts to one another had been so precious just thinking about them made Xie Lian’s throat feel tight. Hua Cheng had recreated the painting of his parents. The same one the King and his men had defiled in the ballroom and mocked daily now hung in their underground war room as a reminder of what Xie Lian was fighting for and was even more beautiful than the original. 

His gift to Hua Cheng had been less monumental but no less meaningful. Hua Cheng had wanted to burn the chains that once marked his beloved a slave but Xie Lian had repurposed them. He’d hired a blacksmith to melt them down into identical rings they wore to represent their commitment to one another and pay homage to everything they had been through.  

They took a few months to enjoy all that married life had to offer while coming up with a new plan to take back the kingdom. Unfortunately, many powerful generals were loyal to the King, and it took them a few more years to take them down. In that time, Xie Lian relearned how to master a sword, and when he was ready, he eliminated foes by his husband’s side as they dodged the King’s many assassination attempts. 

When it came time to challenge the King, most of the remaining generals could already detect the power shift, and when Xie Lian dealt the final blow, the King had died knowing exactly who had been the one to defeat him. Their second wedding was much more lavish. The entire kingdom had been invited to join in the celebrations that lasted a full seven days and seven nights. 

The slavery system was the first to go. The slave girl that had been by Xie Lian’s side was the first to be released from her chains officially, even though Xie Lian had never treated her as one under his roof. Many agreed with the ruling, thinking the slave system was unfair, and those who disagreed were a silent minority.  

Next, Xie Lian implemented new rules for the fighting pits. They were no longer allowed to fight to the death unless both parties publicly agreed to it ahead of time. To kill your opponent otherwise meant your death would follow shortly after. Not everyone agreed, and they had prepared for that, but luckily no one dared to oppose them openly. 

It would take a long time to return Xianle to its former glory. Its once fallen prince was in power once more, like a phoenix that had risen from the ashes. Time would heal all wounds now that hope for a brighter future had returned. Xie Lian and Hua Cheng knew every day would bring a new battle. A challenge they both accepted and vowed to fight together for the rest of their days. It was their destiny. Their invocation in life. Forever entwined, forever committed, forever bound by chains of silver and devotion.