Chapter Text
“C’mon, this is stupid! Why do I gotta be locked up here with the babies?” Miles Morales complained, using his fake deep voice while wearing his superhero suit, “I’m Spider-MAN.”
“New policy, kid. No one under the age of 15 is permitted to enter the main Carnival area without a parent or guardian accompanying them.” The security guard explained.
“But I am 15-hey!” Miles protested, but the guard had already closed and locked the door on him. He banged on the door, no answer and no budging. It just drew temporary glances from the other children before they resumed their business on the various distracting activities.
Miles looked at the Jokerman font spray painted on the warehouse walls, spelling out “Kiddie Carnival” in red, blue and yellow.
“Now that’s just tacky. Probably used stencils. I could whip up something better than that.” Miles had to give his critique as an artist before slapping himself, “Focus! Back on track!”
He, like his crew from which he got separated, was looking for Peter Parker. But all he’d found so far was that dozens, maybe now hundreds of people had gone missing and not a single one had been found. It didn’t help that some of the other superheroes he encountered were looking for a completely different Peter Parker, which means that multiple, if not all, versions of Peter were missing.
His spider senses didn’t seem to work here, because he was taken by surprise when security grabbed and dragged him here. His enhanced strength was gone, too. So he was stuck here, with no clue, no powers, and no idea of how to find Peter.
He walked the floor which was covered with a giant brightly colored carpet with a cartoon city print, complete with roads, buildings, cars and forests. It was only a design, but he walked on the road anyway, following its path. Towards the front of the warehouse, several log benches and lily pad pillows were arranged in front of a big boxy retro television playing some children’s puppet programming for the audience of kindergarteners.
A couple of little girls shared the log in front. One appeared to be albino, with her white hair, pale skin, and red eyes. The other had pink hair, large green eyes, and black cat-ear shaped horns on her head, probably on a headband or clips.
“I want to watch Bondman.” The pink-haired girl said as she tried to change the TV channel.
“Anya! The lady said you can’t.” The albino girl told her, “She said it’s too violent.”
Even when the pink haired girl, Anya, turned the knob, the TV clicked to the same channel, and the same puppet show.
“Do you ever feel like you’re not important? That people don’t see you? I feel like that sometimes…” The sharply dressed puppet looked down as he addressed his juvenile audience.
“Nooo…” The little albino girl lamented at seeing her beloved TV puppet so sad.
“But when I feel like that, I try to think about what makes me special. Like the way I do my hair, and the clothes I choose to wear. Or the way I laugh. Ha Ha Ha.” The puppet moved his hand towards the lens around as he looked directly into the screen, “And you know what? You’re special, too.”
The albino girl’s red eyes lit up like rubies and she pointed to herself, “Me?”
“Do you know what makes you special?”
The little girls, as well as the rest of the children, all looked at themselves. They held up their hands to their faces, they touched their hair, and so on. One little boy jumped up like he had been waiting for someone to ask him that.
“I can run fast! Chooooom!” He exclaimed as he took off running. He did not return to watch television.
Miles moved on from the TV area, still following the road on the carpet and towards the “city” of the Kiddie Carnival, where child and teen-friendly arcade games and rides were clustered together. There was the duck fishing game, ring toss, knocking over milk bottles, and other classics, all appropriately scuffed up with age and soot. Older children roamed this area, also occupying themselves without care.
“I am not gonna get anything done around here.” Miles vented in frustration as he paced around, “I shouldn’t even be here! Do I look like I belon-”
He accidentally bumped into another teenage boy. One much taller and more muscular than himself, wearing a sports jacket and holding a cotton candy.
“Oh, my bad, man.” Miles apologized. He looked around and saw more kids around his age, maybe even older, wearing the same jacket, or other gear in the same style, black and silver with red detailing.
“They brought a whole team here?” Miles asked, trying to break the ice and maybe get some intel, “Cool gear by the way. What do you play? Basketball? Soccer?”
The teenager looked Miles up and down, took a bite of his cotton candy, and promptly walked away.
“Okay…” Miles rubbed his head, “Maybe I’d have better luck with the toddlers.”
Then another teenager, this one obviously older than him, crossed his path with an ice cream cone in hand. He wasn’t wearing the same sports jacket as others. In fact, he wore more rural duds, with a newsboy cap and a belt on his distressed bootcut jeans. He also looked mature in his shape and demeanor.
“Hey man, they got you locked up here, too?” Miles asked him, “You look like you’re taking it better than I am.”
This guy also just stared at Miles with bothered eyes.
“C’mon, don’t give me that look. I just want to get out of this freaky whatever-this-is. I’m sure you do, too.” Miles told him.
“What makes you say that? You don’t know me.” The farmboy responded harshly, still working on his ice cream.
“Really? Look at you. Big strong guy like you, you don’t belong at a ‘Kiddie Carnival.’ Neither of us do!” Miles argued, “You gotta admit this place is weird.”
The farmboy, Reaper, grabbed Miles by his suit and hoisted it up. Compared to where he came from, this place was a dream. A beautiful dream with no famine and no killing for sport. Maybe it was just a dream, a fragile one where the simplest of logic would break the illusion and send him hurdling back to dreadful wakefulness.
“Some of us need this.” He told Miles through gritted teeth, “Don’t ruin it.”
Reaper released him and walked away, into the hazy forgetfulness of the dreamscape.
Miles watched him leave, and then took another good look at his peers around him. The rapture on their faces was genuine. If there was a way out, it was irrelevant to them. That just made his stomach burn more. If he didn’t find it, he feared he too would be trapped in this freaky limbo of uncomfortable bliss.
“And what’s her name?”
“Her name is…I mean his name is Izuku Midoriya. He also goes by Deku.” Mr. Aizawa gave yet another security officer the profile of his missing student, “Thick green hair, freckles, large green eyes…”
“Oh my goodness. Sounds like such an adorable child. I can understand why you’re so worried. We’re doing all we can to find them, I promise.” The security guard said in such a sticky sweet tone with a smile that stretched his 5 o’clock shadow from ear to ear.
“...I’m sure you are. He should turn up eventually. He usually ends up making himself known wherever he goes.” Aizawa told the guard.
As they talked, another parent was also addressing his concerns with the head of security himself. This guard was significantly younger than his colleague but dressed in a deeper shade of purple with a nicer tie and a large patch sewn onto his buttoned shirt addressing his rank. Agent Twilight made sure to take in these details as he spoke to the man.
“I overheard your policy on younger children here. Forgive me, if I had known about that rule when we entered, I would have dropped her off and registered her properly right away.” He smiled politely as Loid Forger, “I saw the guards bring her here just a few minutes ago. If we can clear up this confusion, I can just pick up my daughter and take her home.”
“Mhm, give me the child’s name.” The security officer looked at his clipboard.
“Anya Forger.”
“And how old is she?”
“6 years old.”
“Physical description.”
“Well, she’s short for her age. Pink hair. Green eyes. She wears black horns on her head.”
“And your name?”
“Loid Forger.”
“No, it’s not.”
“...Excuse me?” Twilight kept his composure.
“I said your name’s not Loid Forger.” The security officer lowered his clipboard.
“I assure you I am, sir. If you give me a minute to find my wife, she can confirm that I am.” Twilight smiled with sweat forming on his forehead, trying to imagine how his cover had been blown in a place like this, “I’m sure if you review any security footage, you can see we all came together-”
“I saw the footage. You didn’t come in with a wife and a daughter.” The officer told him, setting the clipboard down and crossing his arms, “Yor Briar is not your wife. And little Miss Anya is not your daughter.”
Agent Twilight balled his fists. If things were going to get hostile, he would have to adjust his tactics.
“Now don’t get mad at me. This is the report I got from the higher ups. According to their research, these are statements you’ve made yourself. Multiple times. Maybe not out loud, but in your thoughts.” The guard stated.
“There’s no way you can-” Twilight found the idea of psychic mind reading ridiculous. But that didn’t mean an enemy spy couldn’t have found out information about him. But he could have sworn he made sure to never verbalize their false status as a family. Unless he accidentally said something in his sleep…
“Look around, Agent Twilight. Look at all the various nationalities of people taking part in our carnival. Do you see a war happening here? Do you see any clashes of culture or threat of mutual destruction? There is none of that here. So there’s no need for Operation Strix. You can go back to your isolated existence and abandon Miss Briar and Miss Anya as you had planned. Since, as you’ve stated before, they were not really your family.”
Loid’s fist came flying at the guard before he realized it, but he disappeared out of sight. Loid looked around for a trace of him, but he was gone. He grabbed his clipboard to find anything useful, but he only found coarse doodles, so he threw it down in frustration.
He knew Anya was in this Kiddie Carnival building. He had to get her out. He wanted to worry about Yor as well, but he knew she could take care of herself. Maybe if he found Yor, he could get her help, but if the guards got to her first, would they tell her the truth about him? Yor knew that their marriage was a sham, but she truly believed Anya was his daughter. All of this seemed like a terrible nightmare designed to bring him down. But he couldn’t let that stop him.
While the head of security had disappeared, the older lower-ranked guard was still present. But now, instead of talking to the unkempt dark-hair man from before, he had his arm pressed against the wall, hovering over a sharply dressed woman who laughed and playfully touched his tie. She smiled in a way that invited his provocative behavior. Flirting on the job? No wonder this old man was ranked so low compared to his younger colleague.
Then, he caught a glimpse of light in the woman’s eyes. This wasn’t a simple catch of the carnival lights around them; it shined bright and silver, coming from inside of her. It kept Loid at a distance. Some kind of illusion or was he hallucinating? When the woman pulled the older guard by the tie into the locker rooms, that gave Loid several ideas. He may not know what this carnival was or exactly how these illusions worked, but he knew a tryst when he saw one, and that usually meant discarded clothing, which meant a free disguise for him.
He waited until he heard the slam of a stall door, and then carefully tiptoed inside and waited.
“Oh Mr. Afton, is that anyway to treat a lady?” The woman asked jokingly between the kisses and playful moans. And then his purple button-up shirt was tossed over the stall.
“You tell me. You’re the boss lady.” He said. Loid heard the unbuckling and then ducked as the balled up pants and belt came hurling his way. He grabbed the clothes, went into another private stall and quickly dressed as the love sounds got louder and dirtier. The management here was as sleazy as it was dangerous. But then again, carnivals weren’t known to employ the most upstanding of people. As he snuck out of the stall, he realized he was still missing the hat. As if on cue, the boss lady tossed her lover’s hat out of the stall like a frisbee and Loid’s head caught it like a game of ring toss.
“I want to do something else now.” Anya walked away from the TV, “Anya and Eri should play on the playground!”
Eri wasn’t used to having a friend her own age, so she followed Anya’s lead to the colorful soft playground across the felted street. There were foam structures modeled after trees, mountains, and large boulders for climbing. There were vinyl animals on springs for riding. What caught Anya’s eye was the merry-go-round, the one for kids to push themselves.
“Get on, Eri. Anya will push.” Anya suggested.
Eri took a seat on the metal disc and grabbed a hold of one of the handlebars. Anya took a deep breath and unlocked her “super fast turbo mode” and took off running. She did several laps to make the ride go faster and faster. While Eri was squealing in joy and surprise, Anya jumped on the ride herself so she could feel it too.
“How do you stop it?” Eri asked, starting to feel dizzy.
“Anya didn’t think that far ahead!” She answered as waited for it to slow down, but the momentum kept going, “...I’m just gonna have to jump.”
“No, that’s dangerous!” Eri warned her.
“Tell Mr. Chimera to take care of Bond and Agent Penguin for me.” Anya said dramatically before leaping off the merry-go-round.
“Anyaaa!” Eri cried out, before the merry-go-round finally slowed down and came to a rest. She leaped off and ran to where Anya had rolled off to. She shook her awake, “Anya, Anya, speak to me!”
“...I wanna go again.” Anya sat up. But then, she caught another colorful figure in the corner of her eye. “Look, a ballpit!”
She jumped up and ran over to an open frame of steel bars with bright yellow foam padding with a blue tarp on the bottom to contain the pool of plastic balls. The ballpit was attached to an even larger play structure of tunnels with multiple slides that lead into the pit. However, the structure was wrapped in caution tape, showing it was either incomplete or found to be unusable.
“I don’t think we can play on it.” Eri said, “The tape…”
“But there’s no tape on the ball pit.” Anya said, her eyes glistening with the rainbow in her eyes. She couldn’t resist their call.
“What if it’s a trap?” Eri asked.
“Ohhh, you’re right.” Anya said, thinking on it for a second, “I better check it for traps.”
“Hey, you two! Stop right there!” A purple guard came running their way. Rather than freeze or run the other way, the children panicked and Anya grabbed Eri’s hand.
“It’s a bad guy! Time to make our escape!” Anya didn’t take a close look at the guard to see it was actually Loid running towards her. She just dragged Eri with her onto the bottom pane and jumped into the ball pit.
“Anya, stop! Don’t-!” Loid called out, but it was too late. He stopped in front of the pool of colorful balls. He looked at the side of the frame and saw a string of severed caution tape. So it had been marked off with the rest of the play structure, but someone had cut it, and the children hadn’t noticed.
“Girls, get out of there. It’s marked off for a reason. It could be dangerous.” Loid explained calmly. But the girls couldn’t be seen under the balls. He didn’t even detect any movement or sound. He moved his hand through the pit and found nothing. They were gone. He entered the pit himself and started digging around.
“Ahem.” An authoritative female voice cleared her throat behind him. He turned and saw the figure known as the Ringmaster. Behind her stood a large soot-covered man in an apron wearing a large metal pyramid on his head and holding a gigantic rusty sword.
“That’s a cute uniform, Mr. Twilight. But purple’s not really your color. And the Kiddie Carnival is no place for an adult like yourself.” The Ringmaster chided him.
“Look ma’am, I just want to find my daughter.”
“You were already told. You said you don’t have a daughter.” She said coldly and then gestured to Pyramid Head.
With one swipe of his huge sword, he impaled half the length of Loid’s body. Blood spurted from his mouth as he bled out and fell unconscious, but not dead.
“Bring him to my office.”
Pyramid Head creeped along in the dark void, dragging Loid on his sword like a shishkabob. A spotlight appeared as a sign of where to place him. He tried shaking him off the sword, but he was stuck. So he had to pull him off. Unfortunately, he underestimated his own strength and ended up pulling his skin off like paper.
“Oh. Oh, that’s nasty.” The Ringmaster complained, retching as Pyramid Head slid him off and he splatted onto the floor, “Give him a minute for his skin to grow back.”
“Oh my God! Loid!” A panicking female voice echoed through the shadows, and then a spotlight appeared for Yor, revealing her frantically trying to run to him but being trapped to only where the light shone.
“It actually took me a while to find her.” The voice of the “boss lady,” the one who had snuck a quickie with the purple security guard, said, “She already blends into Pleasant Hill with her clothes and makeup. I thought she was already one of the wives!”
“Oh you’re right.” The Ringmaster said to her associate, “Oh man, that really does leave so little for us to do, doesn’t it?”
Yor watched as Loid’s eviscerated body bubbled while his skin and hair grew back. All of his wounds healed, but the purple uniform he stole remained torn. He weakly stood back up as he gained his strength back.
“I’ll be taking that. And you can have these back.” The Ringmaster tapped him with her cane, and he switched back to his normal clothes.
“So he’s the problem,” The Ringmaster explained, “Miss Anya and her friend have accidentally escaped from the safe haven that is the Kiddie Carnival. Seriously, I designed one place in my carnival to protect the younger children who endured ‘prize-winning’ grief and trauma before they had built up the emotional and physical strength to endure it. Abuse, brainwashing, experimentation, forced killing…all for children who didn’t have the choice to deny the challenge. I don’t enjoy that. So, I wanted them to be isolated and entertained.”
“But of course, that rascal Anya had to go and find the one wormhole that takes her directly into Pleasant Hill, and she dragged Miss Eri into it!” The Ringmaster’s assistant added.
“Now Eri, we can handle. There’s already a place for her where she can settle in quickly. But Anya’s all alone out there. There’s no orphanages in Pleasant Hill, and she’s too young for her own apartment, so we need a home for her ASAP. Which means we need a grand prize winner and a red ticket winner.” Ringmaster explained, “So I’m gonna quickly genderbend the both of you and see which one looks the most demure.”
She waved her cane and there were two popping noises. Yor looked at the new female Loid and Loid looked at the new male Yor.
“They look like…” The Ringmaster murmured.
“Camilla?” Yor blinked as her husband Loid seemed to have turned into her coworker at City Hall.
“Yuri?” Loid had barely had gotten his wits about him when his vision cleared and thought he saw his wife’s brother in the distance.
“...Oh, this sucks!” The Assistant griped, “That’s just a hat on a hat right there. They already have genderbends!”
“Ugh! Switch back!” The Ringmaster tapped her cane more violently as they returned to their original selves, “Okay, since we don’t need to change their gender or their clothes, we just need to pick a spouse for one or both of them.”
“But usually the spouse is their archenemy who wants their demise more than anything…” The Assistant said.
“...We’re gonna need some privacy for this.” The Ringmaster looked at Yor and Loid and snapped her fingers. Both the spy and assassin rolled their eyes back as they collapsed into a hypnotic sleep.
“Okay so let’s start with Twilight. He’s a spy for Westalis, and his worst enemy is…” The Ringmaster started her train of thought.
“...Is it Desmond?” The Assistant suggested.
“Mm, not really. He’s his current target but not necessarily his enemy. The one who seems to antagonize him the most is…Yuri.”
“But Yuri doesn’t want Loid. If anything, Yuri wants Yor. And we already have one incestuous couple in that neighborhood. I don’t think it could handle two.”
“Yeah, no. I’m not making Yuri a husband. He doesn’t want to domesticate Twilight, nor does he have to. Twilight pretty much already domesticated himself for Operation Strix…”
“And Yor enjoys being a wife. Who is Yor’s enemy anyway? Fiona?”
“No, she doesn’t actually care about Fiona that much. She loves her family and she loves her country, so her enemy would be anyone who threatens the stability of those things, such as…”
“An enemy spy?”
Both the Ringmaster and the Assistant looked at each other and sighed.
“Are we saying that Agent Twilight and The Thorn Princess are already technically sworn enemies that forcibly domesticated each other?” The Assistant suggested.
“Yeah…there’s literally nothing for us to do that they don’t already do to themselves.” The Ringmaster said, “Just wipe their memories and send them in as is.”
“If anything they’ll enjoy it more since their neighbors were just like them, in their previous worlds.” The Assistant said.
The Ringmaster disappointedly tapped her cane and dropped the sleeping husband and wife into the void.
When they’d wake up, they’d find themselves in a house in the style of the era they already lived in, wearing clothes they already owned, napping on the couch with the daughter they’d already artificially stitched into their lives. They’d carry on the day with their individual suspicions of each other hidden, just as they already did every day of their lives.