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Yeosang sits on the bench of the skatepark he went to all the time. He would normally be on his board but unfortunately, he was stuck with a cast on his hand after a skateboard-related accident. His mum had been hysterical because Yeosang rarely got any bad injuries. Usually, he would be home with a few scratches and a scraped knee but this one had been quite bad. He only had himself to blame as he was distracted.
He had been stupidly watching Wooyoung and San messing about.
For a while now he had been feeling the distance between himself and Wooyoung, his best friend. He was still always next to Wooyoung but he didn’t feel the same connection they used to have. He feels lonely even though Wooyoung is right there.
He was wondering when the distance started growing. He wonders if it was when Wooyoung and San started to get closer. Sometimes the two of them made Yeosang feel left out and feel like he was a second thought. He knows that wasn’t their intention but he couldn’t help it. He had been slowly coming to terms with his feelings but seeing Wooyoung happy with someone else was breaking him apart.
He didn’t hate San. It wasn’t San’s fault. They got close and they got along well. That was that and Yeosang had just accepted it but as Wooyoung’s attention went more and more to San, Yeosang’s heart broke.
Stupidly Yeosang falls face-first off his board and breaks his arm when he tries to stop his face from hitting the floor. As he lays on the floor in extreme pain he thinks of Wooyoung, his smile, and laugh. Yeosang’s eyes are closed while he curls up on the floor, clutching his hand.
“Yeosang!”
That was Wooyoung. He falls unconscious to the sound of his voice.
And now, here Yeosang was at the same park, on the bench that Wooyoung liked to call their spot. They had grown up together, playing at this park, learning to skateboard together, sharing secrets, and just living their simple life. Life was so much easier when feelings weren’t involved and they were just young and naive kids.
Yeosang sighs as he stares at the cast on his arm.
Yeosang didn’t hate San, nor was he jealous of San and Wooyoung’s relationship. He was happy that Wooyoung was happy with San and Yeosang always found joy in watching the two of them be happy and hyper together. He was friends with San too so they would hang out together along with Yunho and Mingi but it was getting hard.
It was just so hard to feel like he was a second thought.
It got too difficult when Wooyoung forgot his birthday. Yunho and Mingi had showered him with lots of attention and had even set up a surprise birthday party at their shared flat. Yeosang had come home after a long day of uni and work just to find the two tall best friends holding a large birthday cake together giggling happily.
All his other friends were busy so they had all sent their birthday texts, Hongjoong made a point to call as he still felt guilty for forgetting his 18th birthday a few years ago. Even San had sent a text and apologized for having made plans to go back home to see his family the exact weekend as his birthday.
Wooyoung had just straight up forgotten. He came home that evening and was shocked to see the half-eaten cake.
Of course, he got a very long apology from him in the end and Yeosang had forgiven him. He didn’t even want an explanation. Yeosang had just been happy that Wooyoung had eventually remembered and made up to him by treating him to fried chicken and all he could drink beer.
The very next month was San’s birthday and Wooyoung had gone all out for it.
Yeosang’s heart breaks but he puts on a smile for San. He didn’t want to ruin San’s birthday and after the party, Yeosang makes a silent promise to let it go. He didn’t want to be disappointed anymore and he was too tired to care now.
Yeosang closes his eyes as he feels disappointment take over him and takes a deep breath, willing his heart to calm down.
He wonders how they had come to this point so soon. He feels sad and apologetic. He knows he had a role to play in this. He chose to shut Wooyoung out and not talk about his feelings. Yeosang knows that if he talked to Wooyoung about everything, including his changing feelings towards him, Wooyoung would listen and comfort him and Yeosang is sure that he would say that they would be best friends forever no matter what. Wooyoung was too kind.
He then thinks about Wooyoung standing on the stage after winning a dance competition and mentioning all their friends to thank them and forgets to say Yeosang’s name. Wooyoung had once again apologized so much after that and Yeosang had forgiven him again. but it leaves Yeosang wondering if Wooyoung even thinks of him anymore.
“Kang Yeosang!”
“Wooyoung?”
“Everyone is so worried! You just disappeared!” Wooyoung yells at Yeosang and Yeosang finches.
He does feel guilty for running out of his hospital room. He was still supposed to wait for more x-rays and other tests but he was so sick of being cooped up in a tiny room.
“Sorry, I just wanted to think,” Yeosang says as he looks down at his feet.
“Hey, it’s ok. I’m not mad” Wooyoung says gently as he sits down next to him.
They sit there silently just watching the sunset slowly before Wooyoung reaches for Yeosang’s good hand. He squeezes it and looks at Yeosang with a smile which makes his heart skip a beat. Everything seems clearer with Wooyoung next to him but something is still off.
Yeosang still feels like they are miles away, he still feels lonely.
“How are you feeling?” Wooyoung asks softly.
“Cold”
And lonely.
“Let’s head back then, you will be warmer inside,” Wooyoung says and intertwines their fingers.
Yeosang doesn’t want to go back though. He would be alone then. All his family and friends would go home and he would only be left alone with his thoughts.
Cold and lonely.
“No”
“No?”
“Don’t leave me”
“I would never leave you”
Yeosang can feel the tears burning in his eyes and he tries his best to blink them back but Wooyoung is sharp.
He ends up squatting down on the floor and getting down to Yeosang’s level. He wipes away Yeosang’s tears.
“It’s ok, I’m right here,” Wooyoung says softly as he uses one thumb to draw comforting circles on Yeosang’s cheek. He then leans up and lays a soft kiss on his forehead. “It’s ok”
Wooyoung pulls him into a tight hug and Yeosang just melts into his arms.
“I love you” Wooyoung whispers.
Yeosang knows his heart shouldn’t skip a beat and neither should he get his hopes up but he can’t help it. Those words mean so much to Yeosang, so much more than Wooyoung could ever imagine.
“I love you too, Woo”
Behind those words, there were still so many unsaid words.
How he missed him.
How he was in love with him.
How he was scared that this meant everything they had could change.
How he was scared to lose Wooyoung.
They end up walking back to the hospital hand in hand. His mum is hysterical and hugs him so tightly calling him an idiot and Yeosang just accepts it. His sister tells him off and he looks down at the ground. His dad pats his shoulder and tells him that he shouldn’t scare everyone like that. Yeosang promises to let them know if he feels like he wants to go out for fresh air. His family leaves once they are sure that Yeosang won’t pull anything stupid like that again.
San arrives after his family leaves, along with Yunho and Mingi.
They all look at him with worry and he assures his friends that he is ok and that he just wanted fresh air.
San and Wooyoung go to get everyone drinks and Yunho and Mingi sat with Yeosang.
“How are you feeling?” Yunho asks.
“Cold and alone,” Yeosang says honestly.
Both Yunho and Mingi know how he feels towards Wooyoung. They had been his biggest support when he felt left behind.
“San really likes Wooyoung,” Yeosang says sadly and the two best friends look at each other sadly.
“I’m happy if Wooyoung is” Yeosang concludes and Yunho pats Yeosang’s shoulder.
Mingi brushes the hair away from Yeosang’s face and looks him in the eyes.
“Don’t forget your feelings though, they are important too” Mingi says seriously. “Don’t put anyone above you”
Yeosang manages a small smile.
“Thank you, that was cool of you”
Mingi quickly pulls his hand away and blushes, making both Yeosang and Yunho laugh.
“He will take any chance to look cool” Yunho teases and Mingi blushes a brighter shade of red.
By the time Wooyoung and San come back with drinks, Yeosang has relaxed, and his anxiety from earlier has disappeared.
Conversation flows easily between the group of friends and they even play some card games, which Yunho wins, one after another. By the end of visiting hours, Yunho has won a solid £30 and Mingi is crying about being a broke student.
They start clearing out as the nurse comes in to remind them of the time.
“Take care, Sang-ie and please please please call me anytime you want some company. I will come running!” San says as he gives Yeosang a tight hug.
“Thank you, San-ah,” Yeosang says genuinely happy to have San as one of his closest friends.
Mingi and Yunho are next saying they want to get some food on the way back to their flat. Yunho promises that all of Yeosang’s plants are being watered and looked after which he is at the hospital and Mingi is shaking his head.
Yeosang makes a mental note to buy fake plants next time as the two left.
That left Wooyoung alone with Yeosang.
“So, wanna watch a movie?”
“I’m sorry, what?”
“Movie? We can stay up all night and watch every one of your favorite movies” Wooyoung says and he walks towards his bag to pull out his iPad.
“Visiting time is over, shouldn’t you go home with Yunho and Mingi?” Yeosang asks in confusion.
“You said not to leave you,” Wooyoung says as he looks straight into Yeosang’s eyes.
Yeosang cannot hold his gaze and looks away first.
“It was a heat of the moment…you don’t have to stay and anyway, you need permission to stay” Yeosang rambles as he starts to pick at his cast.
“I don’t care if it was a heat of the moment, my best friend wants something so he is going to get it. And I went and asked for permission when I went to get drinks with San” Wooyoung says cheerfully.
Yeosang is filled with joy and he smiles at Wooyoung.
“Thank you, Woo”
Wooyoung happily skips towards Yeosang’s bed and makes himself comfortable. Yeosang shuffles a little to make enough room for both of them. He even holds up the blanket so Wooyoung can get comfortable.
“It’ll be like our old sleepovers!”
Yeosang laughs and nods. “I miss those”
“Even though we share a room?” Wooyoung asks, sounding offended.
“You know it’s not the same” Yesosang says with an eye roll.
They settle in comfortably and Wooyoung pulls out an endless supply of snacks from somewhere and they watch movies for hours. The extra fold-up bed is forgotten as they end up cuddling on the bed together as they used to as kids. Instead of playing games though, they watch moves and eat snacks.
Yeosang thinks that he would be content with just this. His heart was happy and he doesn’t want to be anywhere else.
For the first time in a long time, he doesn’t feel lonely next to Wooyoung.
“Hey, Yeosang”
“Hmm?”
“I’m sorry”
Yeosang looks up at him, lifting his head from Wooyoung’s shoulder.
“For what?” Yeosang asks in confusion, he is frowning a little bit.
Wooyoung looks serious as if he had something really important to say.
“I know I haven’t been here for you recently…I’ve had a lot of things to work through,” Wooyoung says slowly.
He then sits up, forcing Yeosang to sit up too. They sit cross-legged on the bed while facing each other.
“I know we haven’t spent time together recently and I’m sorry I made you feel alone”
“You haven’t,” Yeeosang says and Wooyoung smiles sadly at him.
“Don’t lie, you basically told me earlier that I did make you feel alone” Wooyoung says and that shuts Yeosang ups.
“The truth is, I’ve been wanting to tell you something really important for a while now but I just keep on messing up and I get scared” Wooyoung is rambling now and Yeosang is feeling a little lost. “I wanted everything to be perfect but I keep on getting scared, I’m so sorry”
Yeosang uses his one good hand to reach for Wooyoung’s hand and squeezes it.
“You can tell me anything, don’t be scared,” Yeosang says, he thinks this is the moment where Wooyoung tells him that he is dating San.
This is it, he braces himself for heartbreak.
Wooyoung opens his mouth and Yeosang unconsciously closes his eyes. His eyes are already burning with tears. He waits for the words but they never come instead, he feels the softest of kisses on his lips.
His eyes snap open, by then Wooyoung has pulled away and is looking down at their linked hands. Wooyoung takes a deep breath.
“I’m in love with you,” Wooyoung says when he finally gathers the courage to look up at Yeosang.
Yeosang’s eyes are wide and his jaw has dropped.
“I’m sorry…I tried to tell you on your birthday but I chickened out and pretended to forget your birthday. Then I tried again during the dance competition and I saw you staring at me when I won and I got nervous again and chickened out” Wooyoung is rambling again.
“I wanted to do something romantic but I’m such a coward and just ran away from my feelings. San has been nagging me for years now” Wooyoung adds and Yeosang is still frozen.
“Yeosang, please say something,” Wooyoung says with a nervous laugh.
“I— I...I’m in love with you too” Yeosang says finally and Wooyoung gasps.
Wooyoung jumps towards Yeosang and cups his face. Neither of them take a moment to think and just connect their lips again. Their kiss was a little clumsy, but both of their sincere feelings were being conveyed, which was enough for both of them. Wooyoung’s hands find their way into Yeosang’s hair. Yeosang’s good hand is placed on the back of Wooyoung’s neck and he draws circles on his neck, the same way Wooyoung did on his cheek earlier.
“I love you” Yeosang whispers when they pull away to cattier their breaths.
“I love you too,” Wooyoung says and places another quick kiss on Yeosang’s lips.
“Don’t leave me” Yeosang says as he holds Wooyoung tightly.
“Never”
They share another clumsy kiss before they settle into the small bed and they fall asleep next to each other. When they wake up, their libs are all tangled up but neither of them could care. They were just glad that they were next to each other and they were going to be next to each other for a long time.
Yeosang was happy with Wooyoung now and not just content.