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The hotel room is nice. It has a singular western-style bed, large enough for two. Clean pressed curtains of such a deep maroon color they look nearly black. A small coffee table, a few lamps, a closet with coat hangers waiting.
Izuku checks every corner of it, sweeps the room top to bottom, pulls those dark curtains shut over a window that he locked, unlocked, and then locked again.
“We should be safe here for a while,” He states, putting his hands on his hips. It’s no Fortress of Solitude, but the hotel room will serve as an acceptable stronghold of sorts for now. At least until Izuku decides they need to move on again, or someone finds them.
Eri, curled up in the only chair in the room, stares at her hero from over her knees. She nods quietly.
Izuku picks up on her silence immediately. “Hey, hey what’s wrong, are you alright Eri?” He asks worriedly, as he hurries to her side and crouches in front of her. Carefully, gently, he cups the side of her face in his right hand.
Eri leans into it and the warmth it offers, but won’t look him in the eye.
“Eri?”
“... How long are we going to stay away?” Eri whispers.
Izuku’s stomach churns, and a sour taste sits on his tongue when he replies. “However long we need to.”
Eri’s lips wobble. “Can’t we call Aizawa-san?”
“I’m sorry Eri, but you know why we can’t,” Izuku says sadly. He hates having to deny her anything.
Eri pulls away from his hand, and buries her face into her knees completely.
Izuku feels his heart crack. “Oh Eri…” He wraps his arms around her, drawing her close to him. Izuku knows that he’s one of the very few people that Eri is comfortable receiving hugs from, and he usually makes sure not to abuse that privilege, but right now, she really looks like she needs a hug.
Having her in his arms makes Izuku feel better too. It reassures him that she’s here, she’s alive. Eri’s little heartbeat against his chest is pumping warm blood through her body, and Izuku will do anything he has to in order to keep it that way.
“I’m scared, Deku,” Eri says, so softly Izuku almost doesn’t hear it.
He swallows his own fear, drops it down to the base of his spine where it shudders and shakes alone. “Everything will be alright, I’ll keep you safe.”
They sit like that for a few minutes longer, until Eri begins to shift and squirm. Reluctantly, Izuku draws away, so Eri can have her independence when she gets out of her chair and then crawls right up into the bed.
Though he lets her move on her own, Izuku watches Eri like a hovering parent might concernedly watch a newborn. But then a faint sound from outside has him peeking through the curtains into the dark world beyond the window, taking his eyes off of her for only a moment.
When he looks back at Eri, she’s curled up on one side of the bed, wrapped up in the thin hotel blankets and looking at him expectantly.
Izuku offers her a soft, regretful smile. “You can have the whole bed, Eri. Spread out like a starfish!”
He sticks his hands up in the air, mimicking a starfish pose, but Eri doesn’t react. She isn’t amused by his attempt at diversion. “You need sleep too, Deku,” She insists, and reaches out of her blanket cocoon to pat the empty space on the bed with one of her small pale hands.
“I’ll sleep later,” Izuku says. “I need to keep watch right now.”
There’s a twenty minute power nap in the future with his name on it, but Izuku needs to prioritize their safety first. He can endure another night without sleep.
“Deku…” Eri pleads.
Izuku walks over to the bed, but he doesn’t get in. He grabs the other edge of the blanket, the one on “his” side, and pulls it up so he can carefully tuck it around Eri. Then he runs his fingers through her hair soothingly. "I really will sleep later, okay? Don't worry about me, it's my job to worry about you."
At that, and with Izuku gently petting her head, Eri surrenders. She still looks unhappy, but slips away into sleep in moments, the exhaustion of the day easily able to pull her under.
Izuku lingers for a while, just sitting on the edge of the bed, hand resting protectively on Eri. He watches her small breaths, counts them, makes sure the rhythm is steady.
She’s alive, she’s alive, she’s alive.
You’ve kept her safe so far.
Overhaul won’t find you here. Shigaraki won’t find you here. The traitor…
Desperate to shake away his paranoid thoughts and keep the exhaustion that is pulling on his bones away, Izuku snatches up the remote for the hotel television. He turns it on and flicks to the news station, which, in all honesty, is probably only going to encourage his paranoia.
But Izuku needs to know what’s going on. Needs to know what’s happening outside of this small pocket of calm that he’s managed to carve out for himself and Eri.
The moment the channel settles, he’s confronted with his own face.
It’s his yearbook picture from middle school. Him with scrawny shoulders and shadows around his eyes. Izuku doesn’t know that boy, not anymore. Doesn’t think he ever did.
“ – While fleeing from the UA campus he injured three students and one teacher, though it’s been reported that this is abnormal behavior for him. Regardless, Midoriya and his quirk are both considered volatile, so if seen it is recommended not to get close until a hero is present.” Drones the news anchor.
They’re looking for me. Izuku’s thoughts scream at him, with all the power of a klaxon horn sounding the alarm. They’re looking for US.
Although the picture is outdated, everyone watching will know the general shape of his appearance now. They’ll know to look for green hair and freckles, and the tired green eyes of a prey animal fleeing the hounds that are hunting him.
Suddenly the hotel room is far too small. There aren’t enough exit points. The walls are too thin. The ceiling could collapse. The hotel staff could all be villains, ready to strike, or to report that Izuku and Eri are here.
“Eri,” Izuku whispers, frantically hurrying to her side, leaving the television on in the background. He reaches out, and hesitates for only a moment – she needs her rest, he should let her sleep, but no, no, they need to move now – before he reaches out and gently shakes her shoulder. “Eri, wake up.”
Eri makes a small whining sound, and buries her nose down into the blanket around her.
Izuku shakes her again, a little firmer this time. Finally, Eri slowly blinks her eyes open. “I’m sorry, but we can’t stay here as long as I thought. We need to go.”
He stands, and reaches a hand out for Eri to take.
But she doesn’t take it.
“W-Why?” She asks, voice trembling, wavering like a person on a tightrope about to fall into despair. Izuku is so shocked that Eri is actually asking a question, daring to voice her confusion out loud, that he freezes up just long enough for her to keep going. “Why do we have to move again? What are we running from?”
Izuku, before he can stop himself, answers, “Everyone.”
Eri’s breath hitches.
“But I told you I’d keep you safe, didn’t I? I’ll always keep you safe.” Izuku quickly adds. He reaches out for her, and she flinches away. “Eri…?”
“D-Deku…” Eri whispers. “You’re scaring me.”
Izuku feels the spinning of his thoughts physically screech to a halt.
“I’m… scaring you…?” He repeats hollowly; lost, unable to comprehend.
Eri whimpers, but gives a short nod.
That confirmation is all Izuku needs to tip over the edge.
“I’m… something to fear…” Izuku says, sounding more dazed and distant than lost now. He draws himself away from Eri, and looks with glazed eyes down at his own hands.
But how can he run away from himself?
“Deku?”
Slowly, his hands inch upwards, crawling closer to his own throat.
If he can’t run, he needs to get rid of the threat. Needs to keep Eri safe. It’s as simple as that. When Flight is not an option, Izuku has to Fight.
“Deku!”
He doesn’t see Eri launch herself from the bed, but he sees when her wide red eyes appear in front of him. She grabs onto his arms in a vice-like grip and tries to drag them down. Izuku has a single hand latched tightly around his throat already, but the other arm slackens easily when Eri levers her own weight against it.
“Deku stop! I’m sorry, please, I didn’t mean it like that!”
Izuku doesn’t respond. Doesn’t know if he can, so caught in the feedback loop of fear as he is.
Then, in the background, he hears the news anchor from the still-on television say, “ – Thankfully, Noburu Kowai, the man who initially attacked Midoriya and who we now know is the cause of the boy’s odd behavior, has just been apprehended by heroes and turned over to police custody. Noburu’s quirk, called Phobia, is an emotion heightening – ”
Oh, that makes sense, Izuku thinks from far away. I was hit by a quirk. I… I must have forgotten that.
The quirk digs its claws deeper, and doesn't let him go.
But that doesn’t change the fact that there are so many things to fear in this world. So many dangers.
Izuku's hand on his throat doesn’t move to release, but despite how the quirk tries to use its hold on his mind to turn him on himself like a weapon of destruction, his hand doesn’t squeeze or apply any pressure either.
“Deku, was that…?” Eri breathes, her attention also drawn to the television. She seems to have heard more of the report than Izuku did. “That man… he… he made you afraid?”
No, he just opened my eyes.
“You don’t have to be afraid anymore, Deku,” Eri says. Izuku can tell she’s trying to break through the quirk, trying to reach into the dark cavern he’s trapped in and pull him out. But she’s still so small, so hurt by the world, she shouldn’t have to do this for Izuku. She shouldn’t have to be brave for him.
He had one job, to keep Eri safe, and he’s failing.
“You didn’t fail Deku, I’m safe.”
“I scared you,” Izuku manages to say, squeezing the words out through his clenched teeth.
“I didn’t… I didn’t know what was happening,” Eri says. “But I know now, I know, and I can, I can help. We can get Aizawa-san, and go home.”
Home.
The quirk rebels at the longing it feels deep in Izuku’s heart, and gives his memories a cruel twist. No! Home is dangerous! There’s a traitor, there’s Kacchan, there’s teachers and –
“Please Deku,” Eri pleads, pulling on his hand. “Please, let’s go home.”
Izuku wheezes like he's been gutted. “No, we can’t."
“We can!” Eri latches onto his side. “You helped me be not afraid, so I’m gonna help you be not afraid.”
No, she’s wrong. Izuku had nothing to do with that. Eri’s bravery came from herself. Before Izuku ever knew her, she’d had that.
It’s one of the things about her that Izuku loves, and does his best to nurture every chance he gets. He’ll be happy if he gets to see Eri grow into someone confident and courageous. Even when she’s been terrified to her core, she has always pushed through and gotten to the light on the other side.
Izuku needs to just… follow her example. He can be brave, even with this quirk poisoning his every thought. For Eri, he can be brave.
“Okay,” Izuku says, voice breaking. He pulls his fingers away from his neck one by one, swallows past the sore tenderness of the bruises he’s leaving behind on himself. “Okay, let’s go home.”
He takes Eri’s hand, and although it’s one of the hardest things he’s ever done, he lets her lead him out of the hotel room that he’d tried to turn into their prison. He lets her lead him all the way home.