Chapter Text
A loud beep rings out.
The sound startles Tris, who had sunken into a depression nap and is half conscious. Not knowing what had waken her, she settles back into the couch, only to find her brain swimming with hazy thoughts.
It is day who knows how many of quarantine and Tris is losing her mind. She just finished initiation only to find that the faction of the “free” was suddenly in lockdown, due to some virus ravaging through the city.
Tris spent the first couple weeks worried sick about her parents, knowing they would be out there helping the infected, especially among the factionless. After the initial shock and anxiety wore off, Tris settled into a new normal. She was designated a specific time to access the training room, pit shops, and various other necessities. Since she and her fellow initiates hadn’t yet been trained for their selected positions when quarantine hit, Leadership felt it was better to delay their training until quarantine ended.
Tris does not like being unproductive. She doesn’t like sleeping in and being jobless and not even being able to go outside when she wants. She is not handling this well.
Another beep sounds.
Warily, Tris opens one eye and squints around at her bare apartment, trying to process the cause of the noise. She is certain none of her appliances make that sound.
It sounds again, but with her eyes open she caught the small blink of light that corresponded with the sound. Her datapad was the culprit. She scrunches her nose up and pulls herself off the couch to grab the pad.
Tris opens her datapad and is immediately accosted with several little red alerts.
All from the same source.
In one of her boredom induced spirals, Tris had signed up for a new app called Dauntless Connect. The app came out just after quarantine started, and the general word among her friends was that it was basically a hook up app masquerading as a social media site. She didn’t really understand why or how a hookup app would work while in quarantine, but frankly she would have endured much worse scenarios for a little diversion.
But now, in the sober light of mid-afternoon, the series of messages from other profiles on the app makes her stomach clench a bit.
She scrolls through her messages, and the anxious thread turns into disappointment quickly, when all of the messages are either just “hey” or something immediately sexual. She knows this must be normal for Dauntless, but she is still a little put off by the abrasive overtness of it.
Tris had found herself a little more interested in the idea of sex since transferring to Dauntless, but she still has enough anxiety about it that she hates getting those messages.
Tris deletes the messages she doesn’t want to respond to and starts clicking through the profiles of the “hey” people. Some of them use their real name (or the nickname they use around Dauntless), but some others just use random words or handles.
She also notices that some of them never show their face in their pictures—only their body or maybe their guns or a pair of bandaged hands in one. Tris wonders why someone would want to conceal their identity on here. Were they trying to sneak around on a partner? Afraid to actually admit who they are?
Her profile is just a picture of her training, one she felt made her look strong, though probably not her prettiest picture. She used her real name. She wonders if something in her profile is making her attract these kind of sexual messages or if it’s just the nature of the app.
As she is deleting some of the more obscene messages, she starts to notice a pattern.
BLAZE: Heard you’re a Stiff. In a giving mood? ;)
THEEJAKE: I’ve got a stiff for you ;)
Does everyone here know she is the former stiff? Even just thinking the word makes her gag. She is NOT a stiff, she reassures herself.
Just as she decides to close the app, another message pops up.
CHASM_JUMPER: Hey beautiful, feeling homesick?
What a strange username. What an even stranger question. The kind of question that could get someone suspected of treason. Tris is instantly suspicious of this person’s motives. She looks at the profile picture. A short, bulky boy a couple years older than her that she recognizes from her shift unloading trucks during initiation.
Another message appears.
CHASM_JUMPER: If it will make you feel better, I’d let you serve me ;P
Oh never mind, more gross pervs. No, you know what, I’ve HAD it Tris thinks, chewing her lip as she starts typing a reply.
TRIS: No, I’m not homesick, because this is my home. I’m fucking DAUNTLESS idiot
She hits send in a hurry, but quickly realizes the mistake she made, and types more:
TRIS: And I would never serve anyone dumb enough to jump the chasm, but bet your ass I’ll PUSH you in it if you ever try that shit on me again
CHASM_JUMPER: Damn bitch, cool down! If you don’t want the attention, why you post such slutty pictures? Hoe ass bitch nobody wants your virgin ass anyway
Tris shrieks in frustration and immediately blocks him.
She tosses her phone down on the couch and goes to make herself some dinner. She doesn’t even notice how tense she is until she takes her first bite and feels how sore her jaw is. She must have been chewing her lip and clenching her teeth for the last half hour. Why did she let some dumb guy get to her?
She sighs and grabs her phone. She wants to look at the profile picture this guy had claimed was so “slutty” it was deserving of lewd comments. When she looks at the picture, she doesn’t see anything she considers “sexy,” or even that attractive.
She sees someone small but toned, someone sweaty from hard work, someone focused. Her stomach and legs are exposed, but she’d never thought of those as something someone might objectify. If she was being honest with herself, she’d never even thought of being seen at all until she transferred to Dauntless, so it’s altogether unimaginable to think of herself as something good to look at.
Part of her wants to keep the photo up for that reason. She likes the picture and she wants other people to see the things she likes. But another part of her knows that these people don’t think like her. They don’t see her the way she sees herself.
So Tris takes the picture down. Removes it entirely. She replaces it with one of her dressed in full blacks pointing her rifle. No exposed skin. Not even a hint of a smile.
Satisfied she resumes her dinner.
Tris is interrupted moments later by an insistent little chirp from her datapad.
She has a new message on Dauntless Connect. She tenses, but opens it cautiously.
LEAD&LEATHER: I like your new profile picture.
Tris furrows her brows, but waits. Another beep.
LEAD&LEATHER: Don’t get me wrong, the last one was beautiful—but this one is more you.
Tris cocks an eyebrow. She can’t say she disagrees, but how would this stranger know that? She clicks the profile, and finds only a picture of some guns. No name. No face.
Tris is intrigued enough to take the bait, responding to the message despite the messenger’s own annoyingly anonymous profile. Intrigued, but still cautious.
TRIS: How so?
LEAD&LEATHER: You look fierce.
The response comes almost instantly. Tris flushes at the praise, not even knowing who it is coming from.
TRIS: And how would you know I’m fierce?
LEAD&LEATHER: I’ve seen you.
TRIS: Well it seems only fair I should get to see you.
LEAD&LEATHER: I’m not nearly as exciting to look at.
TRIS: Let me be the judge of that.
LEAD&LEATHER: You already have. You’ve seen me.
Tris bites her lip unconsciously and furrows her brows. Searching for something to say back is difficult with her now churning stomach. She isn’t sure if she feels anxious because this stranger knows her (though her rational mind knows everyone in the faction basically knows everyone else). Or maybe it was the compliments which somehow slid right through her defenses. Or the stranger’s own anonymity.
She can’t parse her thoughts so she hugs the pad to her chest and lays back down on the couch.
Several minutes later, another beep.
LEAD&LEATHER: I didn’t mean to scare you off.
Tris hesitates.
TRIS: I’m not scared, but you do seem to have me at a disadvantage.
LEAD&LEATHER: Sorry, I don’t fight fair.
TRIS: I wasn’t aware we were sparring.
LEAD&LEATHER: No? Seems I know a lot more than even I knew.
TRIS: You could at least tell me who you are, so I know whose ass I’ll be kicking.
LEAD&LEATHER: How about this: I tell you something about me for everything you tell me about you.
TRIS: You already seem to know enough, why would I want to give you another leg up?
LEAD&LEATHER: I only know what you let others see. If you tell me something I don’t know about you, I will tell you something no one knows about me.
TRIS: How will I know if it’s a real secret?
LEAD&LEATHER: You won’t.
Tris chews her lip. How had she gotten so sucked up into this conversation? Why did she even care what this stranger said?
She starts with something innocuous.
TRIS: My favorite food is chocolate cake.
LEAD&LEATHER: That’s not a secret. I’ve seen you eat it at least a dozen times.
TRIS: Ok stalker. But no one knows that I still feel guilty every time I eat it…it’s a leftover Abnegation thing I guess.
Tris hadn’t even meant to mention that part, but she felt the need to defend herself. Besides, it wasn’t like everyone didn’t already know that she’s an Abnegation transfer.
The stranger doesn’t respond for a few moments and Tris starts to get nervous. Had she exposed herself too much?
LEAD&LEATHER: I can understand that.
She releases a breath she didn’t know she was holding and a smile ghosts across her upper lip.
LEAD&LEATHER: I guess I still have some leftover traits from my faction of birth too.
TRIS: Oh? What faction?
LEAD&LEATHER: Now that’s a big secret. I don’t think you’ve quite earned that yet.
TRIS: What would I have to do to earn it?
She waits. She gets up to brew herself another pot of tea. She waits some more. It’s not exactly that she wants to be waiting for some stranger to text her, but it’s also not like she has anything else in the world to do.
The next morning her pad beeps at an ungodly hour.
LEAD&LEATHER: Sorry I ran off on you yesterday.
LEAD&LEATHER: I guess I’m the one that got scared away.
LEAD&LEATHER: If you want the truth, the answer to your question is that I’d have to trust you. And I don’t do that very easily.
Tris mimics the stranger’s earlier response.
TRIS: I can understand that.
TRIS: Maybe we can start off with something easier? Like, what’s your gender?
LEAD&LEATHER: Oh no, you’ve definitely crossed a line.
LEAD&LEATHER: Kidding, I’m a man.
TRIS: I’m a woman. But you know that already.
TRIS: Favorite food?
LEAD&LEATHER: If you ever watched me, you’d probably think it was coffee. But I’m actually a little embarrassed to say.
TRIS: Good. I told you my embarrassing cake thing, you owe me an embarrassing food.
LEAD&LEATHER: …
LEAD&LEATHER: …
LEAD&LEATHER: …asparagus
TRIS: Asparagus?
LEAD&LEATHER: DONT LAUGH
TRIS: I’m not!
She is.
TRIS: Just a..specific choice. Do they even make asparagus here?
LEAD&LEATHER: Sometimes, when some Amity farmer decides to grow a little bit. But no, not very often.
LEAD&LEATHER: And maybe that’s part of it. Like your cake thing. Asparagus feels like a delicacy.
TRIS: I never thought of asparagus as a delicacy.
LEAD&LEATHER: Glad to see I can change your mind. Usually you’re so stubborn.
TRIS: I am not!
TRIS: Ok point taken.
LEAD&LEATHER: Wow, conceding already? Such growth!
TRIS: Oh Ha Ha. Butthead.
LEAD&LEATHER: Harsh word there for a former Abnegation. Is that the best you got?
TRIS: Jerk.
LEAD&LEATHER: Ouch! You got me!
TRIS: It’s pretty much the most insulting thing I’ve ever called anyone, so that’s the best you’re going to get.
LEAD&LEATHER: That’s not true. You called me a coward once.
TRIS: I did??
LEAD&LEATHER: Well, not directly, but it was pretty damn insulting. You really know where to strike a guy.
Tris doesn’t know exactly what to say. She wracks her brain for who she might have called a coward, but the only face that appears in her mind is Al’s. Still, he said indirectly, so maybe she’s missing a few people.
A name crosses her lips. Peter. She’d definitely hurled a few unkind things at him, and it would probably explain why he teased her so roughly. But no—there’s no way someone who tried to toss her off the chasm would want to spend their quarantine talking her. Or could he? She shakes the idea away, resolved to stop guessing.
For now.
TRIS: I’m sorry
LEAD&LEATHER: Don’t be. I think I needed to hear it.
TRIS: What do you mean?
LEAD&LEATHER: I mean, I think I was being a coward, and you are the only one STUBBORN enough to say it.
TRIS: Well in that case, you’re welcome.
Beat.
LEAD&LEATHER: Favorite exercise?
TRIS: I really love running.
LEAD&LEATHER: No one loves running.
TRIS: Well I do. It’s just so different from anything I did in Abnegation. I just feel so free.
LEAD&LEATHER: Must be hard not to be able to run as much during quarantine.
TRIS: It is! They only give me an hour a day in one of the tiny training rooms. I can barely do sprints in there.
LEAD&LEATHER: That sounds stifling.
TRIS: Now you’re making fun of me.
LEAD&LEATHER: No, no I mean, quarantine is hell, you know? All of us gave up a lot this year.
TRIS: And running isn’t such a big thing to give up, in the scheme of things, I guess.
LEAD&LEATHER: I’m trying to say I know what it’s like when you get that first taste of freedom here.
TRIS: What makes you feel free?
She had meant it as a conversation opener—something to connect all this talk about her silly need to run with something about his own life. But maybe it had been a bit much. Not the kind of question one asks in Dauntless.
So Tris isn’t surprised when he didn’t respond.