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“It's time for bed, sweetheart."
Felix expects some kind of fight and that's what he get. He hears a huff, sees pigtails shaking from side to side even as Eunbyul remains cuddled into his side.
"No," Eunbyul says with all the authority a exhausted five year old can muster. She rubs at her eyes with a tiny fist which ruins her determined frown a little.
"It's past your bedtime already," Felix says. He reaches out to smooth the stray hairs on her head, gently, lovingly. He has the most precious thing in the world beside him after all.
"Not tired," Eunbyul says, which is immediately followed by a yawn.
"I don't think that's true, darling," Felix says. "C'mon, let's get ready for bed."
"No," Eunbyul says again. "Don't wanna sleep yet."
"Why not," Felix says, a teasing tone. She's very stubborn, always has been. It reminds Felix so much of Chan, down to the little forehead wrinkles and pouty frown when they both don’t get what they want. Chan claims that the pout is more Felix’s influence, the nose scrunch as well.
There's a pause. A long pause. Felix wonders for a second if she's actually fallen asleep, if her eyes had finally fallen shut like they had been threatening to for the whole of Finding Nemo's runtime but they're not. Eunbyul's shifting, burying her little frame even deeper into Felix's side like she's trying to hide from something.
"Sweetheart?" Felix prompts. He moves to wrap his arms around her when she doesn't respond, rub strokes down her back.
"I wanna see Daddy."
Felix lets out a silent sigh that he hopes somehow manages to cover the sound of his heart breaking.
"You'll see him tomorrow," Felix says, an attempt to reassure.
Eunbyul lets out a not so silent sigh. "Wanna see Daddy now," she whispers, voice drained and creaking from tiredness and sadness and Felix wishes he could take all of her pain away.
"He'll be home soon, I promise."
"I miss him," Eunbyul says.
Felix wraps his arms around her and lifts her up enough so she's more on her lap, head high enough so she can lay it on his shoulder, so Felix can hold her close.
"He misses you too," Felix says. It's the truth, the wholehearted truth because Chan does, Chan misses her so much. It's so clear in Chan's every action, in his expressions, when he has to leave early in the mornings and the best he can do is press a featherlight kiss to his fingers to tap on her head as she sleeps. It's obvious when Chan comes home at night, late enough that Eunbyul has long since been tucked into bed and even Felix is struggling to keep his eyes open against the light of the silent television, and the first thing Chan asks after he's murmured his greetings and shared his kisses with Felix is how Eunbyul's day has been as if he hasn't spoken to her already, like the two of them don't call and facetime each other at every possible moment.
It's all too often that Felix turns around to find his phone has been seized for world important purposes. He's always found it hard to be anything other than fond as he watches Chan smiling on the screen, listening intently to Eunbyul as she rambles on about her latest toy tea parties, shows off her latest drawings of her, Daddy and Appa with guest appearances by Berry and Dory and Baymax, and explains how she made butterfly cupcakes for Daddy that he needs to eat when he comes home. She made them by all herself, Felix is her assistant, only there to enable her.
Chan's love for her is overflowing constantly, captured and caught in every photo on their walls and phones, contained in each memory and moment. Not overwhelming, never overwhelming because Felix loves her in the same way. She's their whole world, every beautiful spark of life in one tiny child. It's a blessing to have her in their life and to be the ones blessed with her affection and love.
Eunbyul doesn't say anything. Just clings to Felix as tight as she can, with all the strength in her body. There's a reason they call her their little koala.
"Daddy misses you a lot. I miss him a lot too," Felix says.
"You need to tell Daddy no more work," Eunbyul says.
"I will try," Felix promises.
It's not a promise he'll be able to keep because he knows how much it hurts Chan not being here. Chan worries and stresses about it all enough already, that he's not there enough for her. He works so hard to look after them, and Eunbyul is still too young to understand that Chan is doing this all for her. Sometimes, Felix does feel the same though. He wants Chan to stay here with them always.
"Let's get ready for bed," Felix says. Eunbyul doesn't respond or put up any fight. She's more a dead weight in Felix's arms even as he stands up and shifts her around to carry her better. He leaves the television on for now and the blanket pile they had made as well. He'll tidy it up later once Eunbyul is in bed.
He only puts Eunbyul down once they're in the bathroom. Making sure to keep a careful eye on her as he moves her stool so she can reach the sink and see herself in the mirror. Normally, she waves at Felix or makes silly faces in the mirror which Felix returns until the both of them are laughing. Today, Eunbyul just holds out her toothbrush, little lips frowning even as Felix makes a woosh sound effect as he squeezes out her toothpaste. She's long since been able to brush her own teeth, but this is one of those times where it hits Felix how much she has grown. With every day she grows up, grows older. She changes, never enough to be noticeable until the big milestones hit. She's started school now for instance. Chan cried the night before her first day in their bed, and he cried the morning of once Eunbyul had her uniform on and while Felix was taking pictures, and he cried at the gates as she waved goodbye to them. At least Felix held his tears in until they were back in the car.
Felix spends so long remembering everything, every moment big and small, and he wants to keep on remembering everything. Every little detail about their gorgeous, joyous little girl. Every smile she shares and laughs she lets out and funny things she says.
Eunbyul finishes brushing her teeth and steps off her stool. She looks up at Felix. Holds out her hand and Felix holds out his for her to take, for her to wrap her fingers around his. She's always been affectionate, always wants hugs and kisses and to hold hands. Eunbyul is sweet and thoughtful in a way that always makes Felix feel proud and bursting at the seams with love.
"Do you want to wear your wolf onesie to bed?" Felix asks when they make it to her bedroom, walls soft sunset orange and decorated with hand drawn pictures and photos of family trips to the beach and picnics.
Eunbyul nods after a moment.
It's getting a little small for her, the legs and sleeves stopping a few centimetres short of her hands and feet, but this is her favourite onesie so they'll keep it around for just a little longer. Chan will just buy her another one to replace it again anyway. Everyone really thought that Felix would be worse for spoiling her somehow, but it's Chan. It's always been Chan, Chan who comes home with bag after bag of adorable brightly patterned clothes and tiny designer trainers and everything she could ask for and more. Eunbyul's wardrobe is bigger than theirs, packed full to bursting with a rainbow spectrum of clothes and costumes. Felix isn't that much better, he can barely resist the puppy eyes he gets when they're out shopping together.
He probably shouldn't be thinking about puppy eyes right now because Eunbyul still has that sad look in her big brown eyes even as Felix finishes zipping up the onesie. He lifts the hood up so the fluffy wolf ears are on show.
"Who's this fierce wolf, huh?" Felix rubs the top of her ears. Eunbyul blinks once, twice, and then takes a few steps forward to wrap her arms around Felix's neck. For once, she's not come close to pretend bite him because there's few things Eunbyul likes better than pretending to be a wolf princess. There was once a time where Felix was worried that she thought she was more a puppy than a toddler and Chan would just always laugh at him in between play biting Eunbyul's fingers in a way that always made her squeal in delight. He was all ready to sign up for a daytime drama show with his already prepared tagline of "My Husband is a Wolf in Human's Clothing and our Baby is Too !"
Chan, again, would just laugh at him and make stupid little jokes about eating Felix up while hugging him, moving to mouth at his jaw and neck. Felix did her best to hide his smile but it never totally worked.
Eunbyul doesn't bite him or howl, she just curls her arms around Felix and leans up to press a peck on his cheek clumsily.
"Love you Appa," Eunbyul says. It's the most wonderful thing in the world to hear. It always is.
"I love you, darling," Felix says, hugging her with everything he has and pressing a kiss against her forehead. All the love in the universe wouldn't be enough for her but Felix is going to try and gather it all up anyway.
He leads Eunbyul over to her bed when they pull apart. Lifts up the covers for her to climb into which she does so willingly. Felix is just about to look for her favourite plush toy, Tilly the now one eyed Tiger, who is very well worn and very well loved, when Eunbyul digs beside her pillow and pulls out said faded orange nearing on brown, tiger and hugs it to her chest.
"Did you have a good day, dear?" Felix asks. It’s the same question he asks every night before she goes to sleep.
"Yeah," Eunbyul says. "It was very fun."
"That's really good. Do you want to hear a bedtime story before you go to sleep, darling?" Felix asks.
"Yes," Eunbyul says. There's a moment before she tacks on. "Yes, please."
"What kind of story do you want to hear then?" Felix asks.
Eunbyul shrugs. Her mouth is screwed up, forehead wrinkles appearing again.
"Are there any books you want to read in particular? The Very Hungry Caterpillar? Hairy MaClary?"
Again, another shrug. Felix can't help the little twist his lip takes on. He reaches over to pat her head, rub little strokes in it. Bedtime stories are normally a family affair, something they always make time for because telling stories is always more fun when there are more people involved in them since they cause the stories to take more twists and turns. Maybe this isn't the time for something familiar and comforting, maybe it's the time for something new and adventurous.
"Do you want to hear a new story then?"
Eunbyul blinks up at him. "A new story?" She asks, voice taking on a little tone of wonder.
"Yep, a brand new story. One that no one has ever heard before," Felix says.
For a second, sparks appear in Eunbyul's eyes, glittering and bright. "What's it about?"
"It's all about stars," Felix says.
Eunbyul can't hide the little excited gasp she makes or the way she hugs Tilly even closer. "Stars? Really? It's all about pretty stars, really Appa?"
Felix nods, smiles even brighter. "Yep, a story all about pretty shooting stars."
"Please Appa, tell me the story," Eunbyul says. Her words turn into more of a whine and mumble mix at the end but Felix can still understand her all the same. He'll always be able to understand what she feels.
"Well done for remembering to say please," Felix praises. "I'll tell you the story. I just need to make sure everything's right first. Is that okay?"
Eunbyul nods, granting him her permission. Felix flicks the outlet switch on the wall, double checks to make sure that the night light is on before he walks over to turn off the big light. In a moment, it turns off and leaves behind darkness for the night light to illuminate, allowing it to decorate the walls and ceilings with spinning stars and moons, crescents and half circles and full moons alike.
This is her latest present from Minho to help fuel her current love of stars. Eunbyul adores it, loves pointing out all the stars and describing all the shapes she sees, all the names she comes up with for them. Felix walks back to the bed, passing through the constellations brushing over him to take a seat on the edge. Only for a second however before Eunbyul is reaching out with grabby hands and Felix knows all too well what she wants at this point. He pulls up the covers and slides in beside her, waits as she stands up and makes space for herself in between Felix's legs, and it's only a moment before she's comfortable, with all her weight leaning back onto Felix who only places one arm loosely around her, one hand in the perfect position for her to grab tightly.
This is Eunbyul's favourite cuddling position because she loves watching the stars and she loves hearing stories and this is the best position to do both of those.
"Are you and Tilly ready for the story now, darling?" Felix asks as Eunbyul watches the stars circle around the room, her head turning from side to side again and again, doing its best to try and memorise all the star patterns.
"Yeah," Eunbyul says, filled with awe and anticipation. "Yes, yes, please tell the story about the stars, Appa."
Felix takes a deep breath, then wraps both his arms around his daughter, around his precious little girl, making sure she's safe and secure before they start off on their journey together.
"So space is huge. It's full of stars," Felix starts, making sure his voice is low and gentle. "It's dark, but the stars help to light it up. They make everything shine. Most stars are far apart. They wave to each other, they say hello and goodbye and how are yous but they're not close enough to talk to each other more than that.”
"They don't have phones?" Eunbyul asks, completely genuine.
Felix shakes his head. "No, they don't. They only have their voices to speak to each other so once they pass each other, they don't talk to each other anymore.
"However, once upon a time, there were two stars that were always close together. They would always follow each other throughout space. One was red and one was yellow. The red star was always in front. It was bigger and it shined bright red, just like a fire engine. The yellow star was always behind the red star. It was smaller but it could fly so fast and it shined bright as well. Yellow just like the sun."
"Just like flowers at the playpark," Eunbyul adds.
"Just like the flowers at the park," Felix says, knowing exactly what ones she means, the little yellow ones that Felix had weaved into a flower crown for her just last week.
"So the red star and the yellow star would fly through space together. They would see all the planets together, they would dance past all the other stars, they would fly around so their tails would twist together." Felix traces curls in the air with his finger. After a moment, Eunbyul follows after, her own little finger making its own little curl shapes.
"Just like that, yes," Felix confirms, moving his hand so it brushes Eunbyul, so it's easier for them to trace shapes together. "The stars were always together. They made each other happy. They made each other smile, they kept each other warm. They promised to always be together, to always be laughing and smiling."
"But one time the yellow star got lost. You see, space is huge, it's bigger than anything else in the world, and the yellow star was so little. It couldn't see past the planets. Couldn't find its way around them and the other stars and the red star was so fast. It went off ahead and the yellow star tried to keep up but it couldn't do it. It lost sight of the red star, only following its tail which grew smaller and smaller until eventually the yellow star couldn't even find it anymore. It got lost, trapped in between everyone else."
Felix moves his arms tighter around Eunbyul who had gone silent. She was holding onto Tilly so tight the tiger's head may end up popping off.
"All the yellow star wanted was to find its friend again," Felix says in a delicate whisper. "Because it just wasn't the same dancing through space without their friend. It was lonely. Without its friend, the little yellow star was sad."
Felix hears a little sniffle.
"I don't want the star to be sad," Eunbyul says, head shaking and voice trembling.
"Don't worry," Felix soothes. "It's okay. The yellow star kept on traveling. It made it past the biggest planet and on the other side the red star was waiting for it. By now, the yellow star was crying too because it was so sad without its friend. And so the red star said to the yellow star, it's okay, don't cry, I'll always wait for you and you'll always find me. It's okay to cry but it's not okay to give up."
The sniffles continue. Felix holds Eunbyul tighter and starts to hum a little song. It seems to work as Eunbyul brings up Tilly so she can bury her face into the tiger's fur.
"It's okay to cry," Felix says. "Like I said, the yellow star cried. The red star shed tears too because it hated to see the yellow star upset as well. That's when the two stars made the promise to always be together. To always find each other no matter the distance."
"It was a promise they kept even when the red star crashed on a foreign planet. It was always going to happen. Shooting stars can't fly forever. They must stop flying at some point. That left the yellow star with a choice. Do they fly through space alone or do they land on earth with a crash as well. Which one do you think it picked?"
"Earth," Eunbyul says in a whisper.
"You're right. The yellow star had been alone before and it didn't want to be alone again. Sure, it had friends in space, but none of them compared to the red star. That’s because the red star was their soulmate. They were always supposed to be together. And so, the yellow star landed on earth. It burned brightly through the sky until it landed on earth. And when it landed, it woke up with all new features. It had hands with wriggly fingers." Felix pauses to drum his fingers softly across Eunbyul's arm. "It had legs with waving toes." Another pause to move his legs. "And it had a human face now too, a bright beautiful face that was covered in leftover stardust that covered their skin." Felix taps Eunbyul's face, across her nose and cheekbones where her freckles stand prominently. "The stardust took the form of freckles. It made the yellow star stand out. Just like its blonde hair."
"It had to journey to find the red star. It was long and it was hard but eventually they found each other like they always did. The red star was waiting for the yellow star just like always. It was easier for the yellow star to recognise the red star for the red star had stardust on their face as well. Faint stardust that made faint freckles. Faint enough that no one else noticed them except the yellow star did. They would recognise their soulmate anywhere."
“Once the stars met again, they promised once more to never spend another day apart. They would be together forever.”
"So the stars live happily together forever," Eunbyul says.
"Yes," Felix confirms. “They live together forever, happy and smiling and shining."
"Do they miss their space home?" Eunbyul asks.
"They do," Felix says. "But it's okay because being together means their hearts don’t hurt as much." Carefully, Felix places his hand over Eunbyul's chest, just close enough so he can feel her heartbeat, enough so he can make his match up with hers.”Their hearts get to be together now.”
Just then, slowly and quietly, the door creaks open. Felix glances over just as someone pokes their head around it. He hears when Eunbyul sees who it is, can tell by her excited gasp and wide smile that most likely mirrors his own.
"Daddy!"
In a flash, the covers are off and Eunbyul is out of Felix's arms and off the bed, sprinting full speed towards Chan who is already waiting with his arms wide open. There's a thump when they finally meet, Chan lets out a loud oof sound, but he stands strong and curls his arms around Eunbyul. They're holding each other so tightly they end up swaying a little from side-to-side.
Eventually, Chan makes eye contact with Felix, mouths a little hi that Felix sends back. Even from here, Felix can see how tired Chan is, the bags under his eyes and the tension in his jaw that is starting to go away bit by bit.
"How is my little one doing?" Chan asks in a quiet murmur. There's still no sign of them parting which is good. The last thing Felix would want is to interrupt them. "Did you have fun today with Appa?"
Eunbyul nods but still makes no sign of letting go even when Chan tries to loosen his grip. Even Tilly can't escape her strong iron tight grip. Felix can only imagine the stranglehold the poor tiger toy is going through right now. Eventually, Chan settles for lifting her up, freeing up one of his arms while letting Eunbyul cling to him all the same. Felix thinks he might actually explode into a cloud of love hearts and other overwhelming feelings because there's something about the look on Chan's face, one that Felix has seen before, one that Felix knows is filled to the brim with barely contained affection and devotion.
"I love you," Eunbyul says, burying her face in Chan's neck. That look on Chan's face only continues to soften, his eyes growing lighter, his shoulders relaxing.
"I love you too," Chan says, pressing a kiss to the side of her head. And then another,
"Was Appa telling you a story?" Chan asks, moving his other hand to rub strokes into Eunbyul's back.
"Yeah," Eunbyul says, a little bit of shyness entering her voice.
"What kind of story was it?" There’s something about Chan’s voice that makes it sound like the most important question in the world. Like it’s the only one worthy of being asked.
"Appa needs to tell it again," Eunbyul says in a tone of voice that leaves no room for argument.
Chan lets out a wheeze of laughter before recovering his composure. He stops making eye contact with Felix which is probably part of the reason he lost his composure in the first place, Felix can't help his facial expressions sometimes, he’s fully aware of it. "Why does he need to do that?"
"Appa needs to tell the story again because Daddy didn't hear it," Eunbyul says, voice growing louder with every word.
"Where did you get all this energy from? You're supposed to be going to sleep," Felix says.
"No sleep until you tell the star story to Daddy!" Eunbyul says, head rapidly shaking with a voice loud enough that Felix is glad they don't have proper, wall sharing neighbours.
"Star story?" Chan asks, not to Eunbyul, but to Felix with a smile pulling at the corner of his lips.
"Yeah," Eunbyul answers instead. "There's two stars and they dance through space and they're in love, one star s’red and one star's yellow--"
"Oh, so it's that star story," Chan says. "Well, I would love to hear you tell the story again. It's my favourite story after all."
Felix rolls his eyes. "This is all just a scheme so someone can stay up a little later."
Eunbyul manages to put on a little shrug and frown, the complete offended expression. "No, it's not."
Chan even joins in by shaking his head and putting on an identical frown. "No, it's not Appa. Don't be rude."
"Yeah, don't be rude, Appa."
"Stop giving her bad habits," Felix says. "And I can't tell the story if everyone isn't ready in bed."
"Fine, if you insist," Chan says, walking over to the bed and handing Eunbyul over to Felix, who goes surprisingly willing, before climbing into the bed beside them. This time, Eunbyul settles for sitting in between the two of them and Felix settles for wrapping one arm around his husband and the other around their daughter, keeping his family, his most precious people, as close to him as possible.
"Is everyone ready?" Felix asks.
"Yeah," Eunbyul murmurs, filled with tiredness, the sudden burst of energy she had moments ago now draining away. She'll probably be asleep before Felix finishes the story this time.
"Yes," Chan says, pulling Felix closer to him as if that was even possible, pulling Felix closer so all he can feel is the warmth of Chan beside him, the love and affection tangible enough to taste.
Felix turns to look at Chan only to find him wearing a smile that lights up his entire face, a bright object in a room where there's only one piece of competition. Felix is only glad that he would never have to choose between them.
"Space is huge and it's full to the brim with stars," Felix starts on a soft exhale, ready to begin the story again, ready to relieve the story with his loved ones, his most dearest people right beside him. With love and light and stardust all flowing and hanging in the air, ready to be caught and to be passed on between each other.