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Eivor reached out for the axe. It was like a natural reflex. Whenever a Viking died, the first thing one would do was to look for a weapon to place in his hands. Only then his life would be rewarded and his death wouldn't be meaningless. Only then he could enter Valhalla. And only that thought would comfort his family and friends over the loss.
But as she touched Ivarr's axe, another image flickered briefly in her mind. Ceolbert. Poor, little, naive, too good for this world Ceolbert. Ceolbert in a pool of his own blood. Betrayed, alone and afraid. Dying the most senseless death as a puppet in a game of madness and revenge. Ceolbert wasn't in Valhalla. And suddenly, the thought of Ivarr being rewarded with a place at the table next to Odin seemed unbearable to Eivor.
She picked up the axe and threw it away. The shattering sound faded slowly as it flew over the cliff. She looked at Ivarr, whose eyes widened upon the sound. And when she looked into the dark eyes of the legendary Viking, she saw something in them, she never thought she would see: fear.
Ivarr's lips attempted to move, as if he wanted to say something. Maybe he wanted to plead. Or maybe he wanted to curse her. But his life was leaving him too fast to form the words. Suddenly, he just stopped moving, his lips still slightly parted, his eyes staring at her, motionless. It was over.
Eivor waited for something to happen. To feel some kind of relief. But her breathing grew heavier, and she realised that she was horrified. Denying someone Valhalla and condemning him to an eternity in Helheim, she could not think of a greater sin. Did anyone deserve such a fate?
Ivarr was kind of insane, unnecessary cruel, but also a legendary warrior, fierce and cunning. And despite their differences, during their alliance and them fighting side by side, she started to respect him, hell, she even started to kind of like him.
Eivor thought she knew the kind of man he was; Brutal, but also brutally honest. She didn’t question for one second the circumstances of Ceolbert's death, whom she believed to be like a son to Ivarr. She wanted to believe that there was good in him. And maybe her misplaced trust and lack of judgement were the worst lesson to learn from this. So had she of all people the right to be the judge of Ivarr's fate?
But it was either Helheim or Valhalla, and even if Eivor wasn’t entirely sure that sending him to Helheim was the right choice, she knew that granting him access to Valhalla would have been wrong. She just wished there would have been another way. At the same time, she knew that if given the chance, she would do it all again. But it still felt as if she had lost a part of herself in the process. And now she had to face Ubba.
"Did my brother die a good death?" Ubba's deep voice rumbled over her like a big wave rolling over a rock. Eivor was tempted for one second to lie. To tell Ubba, that Ivarr died a Vikings death, that he fought bravely and made the gods proud. But under Ubba's searching gaze she felt like the truth was already written all over her face.
So she shook her head. "No Ubba", her voice sounded raspy. "Scheming and manipulation led to his death. I wouldn't call that a good way to die". Ubba closed his eyes briefly and sighed. Eivor tensed and considered if she should prepare for an attack. She wouldn't blame him. She would do the same for Sigurd.
But Ubba seemed to find peace in her honesty. He straightened his shoulders and declared: "At least Ivarr is in Valhalla now. And one day we will be reunited there." Eivor felt as if she was thrown into the ice-cold sea. She could not breathe. Somehow this was worse than throwing the axe away. She had to tell him. She had to tell Ubba that he would never see his little brother again.
Eivor cleared her throat, but the words just wouldn't come out. She looked at Ubba. But the big Viking didn't seem to notice how torn she felt. He was already moving on to the next subject, making plans for an honorable funeral. Eivor released a silent breath. Maybe it was for the best. It would be her burden to carry alone.