Work Text:
Technoblade wasn’t one to trust easily, but when he did he’d happily give a life for those that earned it. Those people were few and far between.
That’s why Tommy’s betrayal hurt him so much.
Though, he’d never admit that aloud. And he would never admit it to Tommy’s face, he wouldn’t give him the satisfaction.
Technoblade sighed, staring at the block that covered the hole Tommy had burrowed. Well, what was left of it at least. He didn’t regret blowing it up, not really.
He did regret that he had to do it in the first place, though.
Whatever, it was his mistake to trust Tommy in the first place. He should’ve known.
Technoblade frowned and turned away, his eyes landing on his cow. Bob.
Tommy used to talk to Bob, he remembers suddenly, blinking. He talked to him about everything and nothing at all.
Technoblade’s ear flicked, picking up a voice from below. He blinked, realizing it was Tommy. Who was he talking to?
He set down his potion ingredients and headed down the ladder to his basement, hooves tapping softly against the wood.
He looked up and paused, eyebrows raising slightly at the sight before him. Tommy was pressed up against Bob, the cows head in his lap, expression content. Tommy had one hand tangled in Bob’s fur, his other hand waving around animatedly as he babbled about his day.
“-and then I fell into a snow dune! I was buried up to my waist! Techno had a good laugh at that, and I should probably have been annoyed but it really was funny! I just pretended to be annoyed, even cussed him out for just standing there! But shh, don’t tell Techno that!” Tommy was smiling at Bob, not having noticed Techno yet. Bob huffed, as if agreeing with Tommy. It was enough for Tommy, whose grin grew almost blinding.
“I knew I could count on you, Bob! You’re such a good listener. I bet you and Henry would’ve gotten along!” His smile dropped a little at that, but it was gone quicker than a heartbeat.
Technoblade quietly retreated back upstairs, a small smile on his face.
Technoblade shook his head, dislodging the memory, feeling a pang of sadness in his chest. Bob looked over at him at the movement, mooing softly at him, and if Techno didn’t know any better he’d think Bob was asking him something.
Techno snorted at the thought, and padded over to the cow, his hooves clicking against the stone beneath him. “Hey Bob,” He said with a smile, reaching out and scratching behind his ear. Bob huffed, turning his head and pressing his nose gently against Techno’s hand, rubbing his face against it. Techno didn’t know why, but he felt a deep sadness settle in his chest at the action.
He slowly sank to his knees, his cape pooling around him and his hands trembling as they pet the cow. Bob mooed softly at him, head butting him gently against the chest. Techno’s breath shuddered and he wrapped his arms around the cows neck, burying his face into its fur.
His shoulders started shaking like he was crying, but no tears fell. They didn’t even water.
The voices were, mercifully, quiet for once.
He doesn’t know how long he stayed there with Bob, but it was long enough his knees started to hurt from being pressed against stone and they popped when he moved to stand. He winced slightly at the sound, giving Bob one last scratch as he left.
He tapped on the glass surrounding Huebert and Moon in greeting as he passed, getting a squeal and a rattle in response respectively.
He would’ve visited Carl too, but he’s hidden away. He’s not taking any second chances, not after what happened last time. He shuddered slightly at the memory, the image of Quackity with his axe poised at Carl’s neck flashing in his mind before disappearing just as quickly.
Techno was coming back from the bee farm with a bucket of honey in his arms, wondering idly if he could use it in any food when he spotted Tommy.
Tommy was petting Carl’s muzzle with an offering of carrots in his other hand, a smile on his face. Techno’s ears perked up, picking up what Tommy was saying. “Aw, you’re not so bad are you? I thought Techno’s horse would be a lot scarier, but you’re just a big ol’ softy, aren’t ya?” Tommy’s grin widened, his hand that was petting Carl’s muzzle shifting to his neck so he started scratching it up and down, up and down in rhythmic motions. Carl nickered at Tommy and head butted him playfully, and Tommy blinked and looked at his hand to see that yep, the carrots were gone.
Tommy gave a hearty laugh, “You want more treats, don’t you? Here, I think I have some gapples-“ Techno decided then he would speak up, making his presence known, “You’re not really thinking about feeding my gapples to my horse, are you?” Tommy yelped and looked at Techno so quickly he probably got whiplash, “Ah- Techno! I didn’t see you there- ... how long have you been standing there?” Techno raised his eyebrows and smirked, “Long enough.”
Tommy pouted and crossed his arms, tilting his nose up slightly, “Well, so what if I was gonna give Carl some gapples? These ones aren’t yours, anyway.” Techno distinctly remembers watching Tommy snatch said gapples out of his chest right in front of his eyes that morning, but sure. “Uh huh, sure. Anyway, I was wondering if you liked honey-“
Techno sighed heavily, his shoulders drooping as the memory resurfaced, bringing a wave of bitterness and a painful emotion he couldn’t quite place. He really was stupid, wasn’t he? He let himself trust Tommy, who had betrayed him before. And he still- ... Well, no use dwelling on it now.
Techno looked over to his brewing stands, contemplating what kind of potions he could make before deciding against it. There wasn’t any point to that right now, anyway.
He almost called for Phil before remembering he was out on a supply run at the nearby village, and deflated a little. Right.
Techno padded into the kitchen, his hooves making tapping noises against the wood. He set to making himself some coffee, but paused when he realized he’d pulled out two mugs and... the hot chocolate.
They used that for Tommy when... when...
Techno looked up from the couch at the noise, making eye contact with a wide-eyed Tommy. He blinked, and took in his appearance. Disheveled hair, eye bags, red-rimmed eyes, a slight tremble to his frame. Techno sighed quietly, closing his book and setting it on the coffee table, gently setting his reading glasses on top of it.
He stood up and padded into the kitchen without a word, hearing Tommy follow after a moment. They’ve done this enough times they have a routine, which... doesn’t please Techno.
He pulls out two mugs from the cupboard, a bag of mini marshmallows, a bottle of honey and the container of chocolate powder. He checked the kettle and turned it on, walking over to the fridge and opening it, pulling out a container of milk. While he waited for the water to boil, he opened a closet near the stairs and pulled out a blanket and draped it over Tommy’s shoulders, bundling him up in it to preserve warmth. Tommy gave him a grateful smile, and Techno gave him a soft one back.
He heard the kettle click and set to making the hot chocolate, and when he was done he brought one mug full of steaming cocoa and a few drops of honey - just how Tommy liked it - over to Tommy and kept the other for himself. It helped Tommy to see someone else drink it with him, on nights like this. Techno sat down in the chair across from Tommy, taking a sip from his cocoa and watching Tommy do the same.
He let himself smile, just a little.
After a few minutes, Tommy spoke up. This was routine. They had a silent agreement after the first few nights that Techno would wait for Tommy to speak on his own, it made it worse when Techno tried getting him to speak no matter how gentle or patient he was.
“Ghostbur was visiting, at first. He’d brought me one of Friends coats, and we talked about nothing for a bit. It was nice. After he left, though...” Tommy trailed off, and Techno took another sip. “Dream found it, and just... burnt it. Right in front of me. He made me watch. It...” Tommy sniffled, and Techno placed one hand on the table between them, not even blinking when Tommy’s hand shot out and grasped it tightly. “He told me I didn’t deserve Ghostbur’s kindness, and that I didn’t even deserve his. He told me burning Friends coat was a mercy, so that no one could see it and realize how-“ He choked on his words, wiping away tears with his sleeve. Techno squeezed his hand comfortingly, and Tommy squeezed it right back.
“He uh, he... he started talking about how you didn’t actually care. About how you were just using me and I- That’s when I broke, I think. He told me that Wilbur, when he was alive, would’ve killed me if he’d gotten the chance, and that I’m lucky Phil- Phil killed him first. And that the only reason Ghostbur hangs around is because he can’t remember how- how- how awful I really am. He told me that-“ Tommy cut himself off, and shook his head, tears dripping down his cheeks. Techno didn’t comment on it, just laid his other hand over Tommy’s. Tommy squeezed his hand in response, and Techno knew he was grateful. They’d done this enough times for Techno to recognize what Tommy meant when he wasn’t speaking verbally.
“He told me that he was my only true friend. That no one else cared. And that he was willing to ignore how pathetic I am and show me his kindness.” It was at this point Techno stood up, circling the table to sit next to Tommy and wrap an arm around him, the teenagers hand still clasped in his. Tommy leaned into him, sniffling as crocodile tears stained his cheeks and blurred his vision.
“And then- then it switched to Tubbo.” Techno felt his heart squeeze, already guessing where this was going. It was the most common one. “Tubbo- Tubbo wasn’t looking at me. He was just- just looking at L’Manberg. He didn’t acknowledge me at first, but then he turned and- and he-“ Techno pulled Tommy closer, resting his head on top of the boys, feeling the teenager bury his face in his neck. “He told me this was for my own good, but he wasn’t looking at me- he was looking through me Techno- and- and I knew what he was looking at and I-“ Tommy sobbed, hiccuping, and Techno squeezed his shoulder, rubbing circles with his thumb into his hand. “And then- then he pushed me off the wall and I-“ Techno gently shushed Tommy, and Tommy sobbed into his neck, his other hand coming up to wrap around Techno and hug him, his entire body trembling and shaking.
They stayed like that for a bit, before Techno finally spoke up. “He can’t hurt you anymore, Tommy. I won’t let him.” He soothed, gently rocking Tommy. “As long as I’m alive, he’ll never even touch you again. Technoblade never dies, after all.” Tommy laughed hoarsely at that, and they stayed there, in those kitchen chairs with two half-finished cups of cocoa quickly cooling on the table in front of them.
They stayed there until dawn and the sky turned pink, pressed up against each other, finding comfort in each others presence.
Technoblade hurriedly slammed the hot chocolate container back into the cabinet, hearing something fall over but uncaring what it was so long as the hot chocolate was gone. He needed it gone and away and out of his sight he couldn’t-
He stumbled out of the kitchen, feeling his chest squeeze and waves of pain and anger and betrayal and- and grief wash over him, forcing him to his knees as he clutched his chest. Why did it hurt why was this so painful why why why why why whywhywhywhywhy-
Why did Tommy leave?
Because Techno was just a weapon to him, he was just a shield. A way to get away from Dream. That’s all he was, nothing more.
Techno choked out a mangled cry, suddenly aware of the tears dripping onto the floor and blurring his vision and how he was struggling to inhale.
Ah, so that’s why it hurt.
He fell onto his side, grasping and clawing at his chest, choking in short breaths and desperately trying to fill his lungs with air but it just wouldn’t come and it hurtsomuch-
Techno weakly pawed at his cape, trying to unclasp it in a desperate thought that it was choking him and he needed it off-
He thinks he hears someone yelling his name, but he can’t be sure. He just needs the cape off it’s choking him and he can’t breathe why can’t he breathe-
Technoblade smiles at the stars in Tommy’s eyes, the boy holding the turtle helmet in one hand and the disc in the other. The boy looks up at him with those stars still there, shining brightly and nearly blinding him, the biggest smile Techno has ever seen on the boys face. “If there was a button to hug you, I would press it.” The boy declares, and Techno disguises his laugh with a snort. “Well, I’m glad there isn’t one.”
The last thing Techno sees is someones blurry face coming into view, their lips parted like they’re saying something.
And then his vision goes dark and he knows no more.
Technoblade died from a broken heart
The entire server seems to freeze, like an icy hand has reached down and grasped everything in its iron grip, trapping everything in place.
And then the world screams.
Tommy stared at the death message, blinking rapidly and rubbing his eyes, like he’s trying to get rid of a hallucination. But it’s still there, glaring up at him. Mocking him. Daring him to react.
Tommy’s hands are shaking, he realizes numbly. He slowly raises them, watching them shake and tremble, and they’re weirdly cold. But he’s not in the arctic anymore, is he? No, he’s- he’s in L’Manberg. With Tubbo.
With Tubbo. In L’Manberg.
He doesn’t notice he’s crying until he sees a tear splash on his hands, sliding off and into the grass below him. The green grass, in L’Manberg.
He remembers snow.
Tommy hurled a snowball at Technoblade, hitting him square in the back of the head. The piglin whirled around to glare at him, and Tommy felt a flash of fear before his head is snapping backward and he falls into the snow with a yell, his vision blinded by- snow?
He sits up, shaking his head and using a hand to wipe the- yep, that’s snow- off him, blinking wildly at Techno ten feet away from him, clutching his middle and doubled over from laughter, his shoulders shaking. Tommy grins, and takes the chance to quickly pack as much snow into his hands as he can hold and rushing at Technoblade, who can’t recover fast enough to avoid getting buried under the snow Tommy dumps on him.
Techno hits the ground with a thump, the snow crunching under him and his head completely buried under snow. Tommy barks out a laugh and yelps when Techno grabs his ankle and yanks him down, and they’re suddenly wrestling in the snow, the two laughing and play-snarling at each other as they roll around in the snow.
Tommy ends up pinning Techno to the snowy floor, and he sits up as much as he can whilst pinning Techno’s arms behind him in triumph, laughing in victory. “I WIN!! TAKE THAT, TECHNOBLADE! Guess retirement really did make you weaker, huh?!” Technoblade huffed out a laugh, turning his head to look up at Tommy with a grin, “I could easily throw you into the snow even like this, yknow.” Tommy smirks down at him, leaning forward and laying down completely on Techno’s back, leaning all of his weight on him. Techno lets out a small “oof”, and Tommy laughs again. “Are you sure about that, big man?”
Techno just sighs out a laugh, both of them well aware that yes, Techno really could just push Tommy off easily, but neither of them mention it.
Tommy looks up at the death message again, desperately hoping it’s gone so he can prove it really was just a hallucination-
It’s still there.
Tommy falls to his knees, hands buried in his hair and pulling hard enough to hurt-
And he screams.
Ghostbur paused, blinking at the death message. He stared at it for a solid minute, trying to process what he’s looking at.
Then it clicks.
Ghostbur inhales sharply,
and screams.
Phil hadn’t been expecting this to be the sight that greeted him. He’d expected Techno to be outside, practicing or collecting honey from the bee farm or coming back from checking on the turtles or-
Anything but this. Ender, anything but this.
He feels his body move before he can even properly register what he’s seeing, supplies forgotten in a heap in the doorway behind him.
Technoblade, on the floor, gasping and wheezing and writhing on the floor and desperately clawing at the clasp keeping his cape around his neck like it’s suffocating him. Maybe it is.
“Techno!” He yells, an awful fear clutching at his chest and clawing at his heart as he falls roughly to his knees next to his familybrotherson friend, hands flying to the others cape and desperately trying to unclasp it, “TECHNO!” He yells again, desperately.
But it’s too late.
Techno slowly goes still, before going completely limp and his hands falling to his side, his chest stopping in its frantic movements, and his eyes glazing over and glassy and staring forward at nothing.
Technoblade died to a broken heart
Phil stared at the death message in shock, watching numbly as Techno’s body went red before disappearing in a puff of smoke.
He heard a thump from upstairs, and he raced up the stairs, slamming open Techno’s door to see him tangled in his bedsheets, fighting them on the floor, a string of curses falling out of his mouth.
Phil notices numbly that Techno’s hands are shaking.
Phil hurries over and helps Techno out of the bedsheets, and the man grumbles and hurries to unclasp his cape with shaking fingers. Phil helps with that too.
When it’s off and discarded on the floor, Phil takes Techno’s hands in his, squeezing them gently. Techno heaves a breath and shudders, hanging his head in shame? Disappointment? Anger? Phil didn’t know. He just gently pulled his familybrotherson friend into his chest, his wings unfolding from behind him and cocooning them both in a world of grey.
Techno shudders and collapses in his arms, and doesn’t say a word.
Phil doesn’t fill the silence with anything either.
Neither of them speak about the black heart on Techno’s neck.
Tommy doesn’t know how long he’s been screaming, but it’s been long enough that his voice is hoarse and his scream is a wheeze and it hurts to use his vocal cords. He doesn’t really remember why he’s screaming. Well, that’s a lie, but he doesn’t know why.
That’s a lie too.
He vaguely registers someone speaking to him, shaking his shoulders.
He screams louder.
Then he blinks and Tubbo comes into view, face worried and panicked, lips moving rapid fire like he’s saying something.
Tommy’s screams turn into sobs, and he reaches forward and collapses into his brother best friend. Tubbo shushes him gently and rubs soothing circles into his back, and Tommy registers Fundy’s shaking hands hesitantly joining Tubbo’s.
Tommy just cries harder, mind whirling with memories and emotions all centered around Technoblade. He remembers how Technoblade would comfort him when he had nightmares, how he taught him combat techniques to defend himself against Dream, how he would make him cocoa for comfort and on especially cold days.
He remembers receiving the turtle helmet and the disc on Christmas.
He pulls away slightly from Tubbo to rummage through his inventory and pull the turtle helmet out, clutching it close to his chest and sobbing harder, curling in on himself.
The overwhelming guilt that he was the sole cause for Technoblade’s first death was too much, and he just continued crying and wailing and screaming his regrets until the sky turned pink.
Ghostbur blinked, and his screams slowly died out. He blinked slowly, looking around owlishly.
Huh, that’s weird. When did he get in the arctic? He could’ve sworn he was close to Logstedshire’s remains just a second ago...
He can’t remember why he was screaming, so he shrugs and heads back to Logstedshire.
He completely misses the death message slowly fading away.
Technoblade is drifting, in an empty black void. He doesn’t feel anything, not really. He just drifts, staring blankly into the endless abyss.
Is this what it’s like to die?
No sooner had that thought crossed his mind, did a sharp pain stab through his chest. He moved to curl up in a ball, or claw at his chest, but he doesn’t move. Just drifts.
Suddenly he can’t breathe, and Techno feels his pulse quickening and he suddenly wants to get his cape off but he can’t his hands won’t move why can’t he move-
The pain stops abruptly, and Techno wants to sigh in relief. But he can’t.
And suddenly it’s back, and Techno can’t stop it.
And then it’s gone again.
And then it’s back.
Techno doesn’t know how long it goes on, could be a few minutes, could’ve been days, weeks, months... years.
But eventually, it stops. And suddenly his eyes are shooting open and he’s falling falling falling-
And he hits wood, and he can’t move again nonono not again-
He thrashes frantically, trying to get the unbearable pressure surrounding him off why won’t it come off get off get off getoffgetoff-
And suddenly there are hands pulling back the pressure, and he looks up and Phil is there, looking numb. Techno looks into his eyes, and doesn’t know what emotion it is he finds.
Phil helps him sit up, and Techno realizes the pressure around his shoulders is his cape and he- his shaking hands come up, trying to grasp the clasp and failing. And then Phil is there again, gently pushing his trembling hands away and undoing the clasp, pulling it off him and throwing it somewhere to the side.
And then Phil gently takes his hands into his own and Techno- Techno squeezes his eyes closed and hangs his head, unable to bear looking at Phil- not after that. Not after he witnessed him at his lowest point- not after-
Not after he died.
And then Phil is pulling him into his chest and his wings are cocooning them and-
Techno collapses into Phil, a feeling of overwhelming safety washing over him.
Maybe... maybe it’ll be okay. He has Phil, after all.
If there’s one thing he can count on, it’s Phil.