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Harry and Jamie set Tom straight (though not sexually)

Summary:

Harry and Jamie, in a crack fic AU of my other fic "Slytherin Potter Twins take over the World with their Slytherin Harem," set Tom Riddle straight on his whole immortality plan. Intrigued Tom pauses his plan and follows their new plan in order to get closer to these nonbinary twins that have captured him completely.

sexually as in he is now very not straight, there is no sex here.

Notes:

A crack fic idea that has been bouncing around in my head for entirely too long. I hope you enjoy.

Work Text:

"Tom! Stop!"

Tom stopped and turned around to see twins standing in front of him, they looked to be in their third or fourth year and in Slytherin robes. He had never seen them before despite knowing all the new Slytherins.

"Never mind that. We, I mean I, have something to tell you about this little immortality plan of yours. If you disagree, you can go ahead and kill this little girl."

Tom nodded and followed them away from the girls bathroom, Myrtle just stood there in shock that Tom was gonna kill her.

Once out of earshot they grabbed him and shoved him on an alcove and up the wall. "Listen here, idiot, your immortality plan has so many problems, like really you're gonna use really well known objects that like everyone knows what they look and could then find and destroy?! So stupid!"

Tom opened his mouth to protest but they put their finger on his mouth and said, "Shush, I'm still talking. then you go around killing muggles and Muggleborns like so you want to be an even lamer version of the already lame man that was Hitler? So stupid!! That's not even the worst part, there are two worst parts. One, you only live to 77 years old, that's right you heard me correctly 77 years old. and you die, like, twice. Plus, you die to two kids who don't even have a gender and have only known about the wizarding world since we were 11, that's right we've only known anything about this world for the last 2 and a half years. Not even a 3 full years!"

But, no, no, that's not the worst of the lot. The worst part, is that you've been groomed into being a little bitch for old Dumbledore. to not only be his little bitch, but also groomed into being the next "big bad" that he can then defeat and make himself be the big hero again like he was after Grindlewald."

"Yep, he's been manipulating you this whole time. we should know he's been manipulating us too, until we got too smart for him and quit following his orders, and we're only 13."

"What have you got to say for yourself, you 15 year old idiot?"

"Marry me!" Tom said, then blushed like a school girl and covered his face with his hands and tried not to cry out of embarrassment.

"Okay!' the twins chimed simultaneously!"