Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

 YOU - Your name is Harry Du Bois. You are 25 years old. You are a gym teacher at Collège de Grand-Couron, a high school located in Jamrock, Revachol. This information comes to you easily because they are facts any sane person knows about themselves.

1. Do I know anything else about myself?
2. Harry may be my official name, but...
3. Pretty sure I knew all of this, but thanks. (Move on)

ENCYCLOPEDIA [Easy: Success] - Here’s something: you are five feet and eleven inches tall.

ENDURANCE - So close, and yet so far.

PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT [Easy: Success] - Here’s something: you still hold the record for the fastest marathon finish time at Grand-Couron High. 

PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT- And you throw a mean shotput. 

PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT- And you could swim the canal from Martinaise to Boogie Street without breaking a sweat. 

VOLITION [Easy: Success] - That last one was a hypothetical. Do not try to swim in the canal. You will catch something. 

CONCEPTUALISATION [Medium: Success] - Here’s something: you were born in a snowstorm- in a hospital where most came to die. It was a time when the revolution was still its flames, and not the ash it cast into the winds of history. In many ways, you are a man born of contradiction; ice and fire, death but also life, bundled into a single, exceptionally handsome package. 

INLAND EMPIRE [Challenging: Success] - In other words- you’re special .

1. Wait, why am I thinking about myself so much suddenly?
2. Harry may be my official name, but...
3. Pretty sure I knew all of this, but thanks.(Move on)

VOLITION [Challenging: Success] - You may also be a tad bit full of yourself. 

1. Harry may be my official name, but…
2. Pretty sure I knew all of this, but thanks. (Move on)

YOU - But you have so, so many more, yes. The new kids and the nerds and the particularly miserable amongst the staff call you ‘Mr. Du Bois’. But to most you are known only as... The Doobie .

LOGIC [Medium : Success] - A simple portmanteau of Du Bois.

ELECTROCHEMISTRY [Challenging : Success] - And, more importantly, a fond reference to that one time you smoked pot behind the bike sheds with the fourth years.

YOU - It was the first time, but it wasn’t the last.

AUTHORITY [Medium : Failure] - But nothing cultivates respect amongst your ranks of feral ankle-biters, than by being open with them about your habitual drug use! 

ELECTROCHEMISTRY -  Exactly! It’s not like you’re railing coke or shooting up with them! But if you wanted to start doing that, that scrawny second year Martin totally sells. 

YOU - The remainder of your names are mostly derivatives of The Doobie: Mr. Doobie, Monsieur Doobie, Doobius Maximus...

ENCYCLOPEDIA [Easy: Success] - The gluteus maximus is a large, primary muscle located on the side of each hip. It is colloquially known as the buttocks.

ELECTROCHEMISTRY - The ass. You have a great ass.

PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT - The ass of a fucking squat titan .

LOGIC [Easy: Success] - That is not why the kids call you Doobius Maximus.

CONCEPTUALISATION -  It doesn’t even rhyme properly. Children are such vile creatures.

1. Pretty sure I knew all of this, but thanks. (Move on)

YOU - You find yourself in the same place you find yourself most weekday mornings. It is a place that was once merely the gym’s office, but ever since the head, Ol’ Broody, gave you the keys to the kingdom, it has become so, so much more.

CONCEPTUALISATION [Trivial: Success] - That’s right! It is no longer an office! It has metamorphosed! This is now Cardiozone HQ !

PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT - Cardiozone HQ, baby!

AUTHORITY [Challenging: Success] - You hear that? A whole kingdom and you, Harry, are its eternal and benevolent King. Every living, breathing creature in Elysium to step foot on this hallowed ground, does so only with your full permission. 

CARDIOZONE HQ - This place is more a home to you than your apartment is. It is cheap plastic furniture and a door that rattles. An east-facing window means you get to watch the sunrise during the winter, and when work brings you here in the ungodly hours of the morning (as it far too often does) you can see lights flicker on the horizon as Jamrock awakes from her slumber. You can also see the staff parking lot from here, a pit of dark gravel dug out from the grass and marked out in white paint. You always make sure your hard-won motorcarriage is parked within your view, for obvious reasons..

PERCEPTION (SIGHT) [Heroic: Success] -  Today, there is a carriage parked outside that you haven’t seen there before.

CARDIOZONE HQ - Tucked away by the window are two desks, placed lengthways against each other. This is a holdover from another, better time, when the Grand-Couron had the budget for two gym teachers.

PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT [Medium: Success] -  It's no problem, son. You have the raw strength and man-meat of two, regular gym teachers, easy. 

CARDIOZONE HQ - Your belongings and your work are spread out over both desks. A significant pile of unmarked pop quizzes keeps you company amidst stacks of miscellaneous sports magazines, an empty pen pot, three dirty mugs, an ashtray and a telephone.

At the other side of the room is a small, impromptu kitchen area. A standalone sink is filled with a couple more unwashed mugs and your one fork. A fold out table is set up beside it and that is where your trusty coffee machine lives.

The walls of this place are also heavily decorated; informational posters on muscle groups and five minute warm up routines are the minority amongst the ones you actually put up yourself.

EMPATHY [Easy: Success] - The first thing someone sees when they enter this veritable temple of masculinity is a huge illustration of a comically grumpy owl. It is scowling, perched above the words 'if you're not bringing me good news, then f**k off until you've got some!'

YOU - At some point you censored the word 'fuck' by carefully tearing out that part of the poster.

CARDIOZONE HQ - There is also your prized possession, of course, which you have mounted on the wall opposite where you sit.

YOUR PRIZED POSSESSION - Is a framed, signed photograph of heavyweight champion boxer and your personal role model, Contact Mike. You have never met the man yourself, but having his flawless visage in your company every day definitely helps to keep you sane.

ENCYCLOPEDIA [Trivial: Success] - The 3rd of August ‘32 will mark the fifth year of his professional career. He is yet to lose a single match.

ENDURANCE [Trivial: Success] - He is the paragon of masculinity and just oozes zeal.

VOLITION [Trivial: Success] - In spite of all life threw at him, he made it. That means you can, too.

ELECTROCHEMISTRY [Challenging: Success] - And might I just add…

VOLITION - No no no. Not this again.

ELECTROCHEMISTRY - He’s got tits. Contact Mike has a cracking pair of tits.

COMPOSURE [Impossible: Failure] - Uh oh.

ENDURANCE [Godly: Failure] - NO! ONLY GIRLS HAVE TITS! ONLY GIRLS !

ENCYCLOPEDIA [Challenging: Success] - Did you know that, technically, all human embryos begin developing as females? That's the reason men have nipples.

LOGIC [Challenging: Success] - If they have nipples then they technically have tits too, I suppose.

VOLITION - Please don’t encourage him.

PERCEPTION (SIGHT) [Formidable: Success] - Despite looking at this photograph every day for two years, until now you never really noticed how prominent Contact Mike’s nipples are beneath his vest.

ELECTROCHEMISTRY - Well I think that settles it. I’m officially designating this as jerk off material. Time to bust one out to Contact Mike tout suite .

INTERFACING [Medium : Success] - But lock the door first.

1. [Electrochemistry: Godly] Literally just bust one out to your framed, signed picture of Contact Mike tout suite.
2. [Electrochemistry: Impossible] Bust one out, but just to the tits. You can pretend they’re girl tits.
3. [Volition: Easy] Drink the coffee in your hand and wait for all of this to blow over.
4. Take the picture of Contact Mike off of your wall so you don’t have to think about this any more.

YOU - Sat at your desk, you take a long, pensive sip of your coffee and stare at the picture. As the warmth of it sinks into the pit of your stomach, you can feel the strange impulse leave you.

VOLITION [Easy: Success] - Atta boy. Drink the coffee. The coffee will keep you safe.

COMPOSURE [Easy: Failure] - You’re struggling to look Contact Mike in the eyes. Somehow, it feels like he knows what nearly just happened there.

YOU - You take another sip. 

LEGS THE FOURTH YEAR - “Hey Doobie, what’s with that lanky binoclard in the gym?”

PERCEPTION [Medium: Failure] - You were too distracted by Contact Mike to realise that one of your students has appeared in the doorway to Cardiozone HQ.

LEGS THE FOURTH YEAR - Her real name is Josefine, but you call her Legs on account of hers being very long and very fast. She has dark, sullen eyes and her black hair is cut short so that she doesn’t have to tie it back when she runs.

She goes out to the track every morning, without question. Of every student you’ve ever taught, she’s the most likely to go pro.

EMPATHY [Easy: Success] - And she hates you. She hates that you never take anything seriously and she hates your embarrassing jokes. She hates that she has to call you Doobie.

EMPATHY - But she also knows she wouldn’t have got her lap time down to 50 seconds without your coaching. She hates you, but she also definitely respects you.

LEGS THE FOURTH YEAR - She’s warming up while she talks to you, stretching her arms up above her head.

1. “What did I tell you about interrupting my Contact Mike time, Legs?”
2. “What gym? We don’t have a gym. There is only the Cardiozone.”

LEGS THE FOURTH YEAR - She rolls her eyes so hard that her pupils almost disappear entirely. “What’s with the lanky binoclard in the Cardiozone ?”

1. “Now now, that’s no way to talk about your less athletically inclined classmate.”
2. "A lanky binoclard? In the CARDIOZONE? Bullshit. It's never happened."

LEGS THE FOURTH YEAR - “He’s not a kid, Doobie.” As she pulls a knee up against her stomach, she glances over her shoulder.

LOGIC [Trivial: Success] - She’s reassessing this Lanky Binoclard, in order to give a better description.

LEGS THE FOURTH YEAR - “He kinda looks like an undercover cop or something.”

1. [Savoir Faire - Heroic] “Excuse me Legs, but nature calls!” You immediately begin gathering every contraband drug in your possession so that you can flush it all in the student bathrooms. Flush the legal ones too, just in case.
2. “He’s probably not a cop. Lanky Binoclards aren’t cops.”
3. “He’s probably not a cop. Cops don’t hang out in the Cardiozone.”
4. He probably is a cop. And you’re going down with me.”

LEGS THE FOURTH YEAR - “I said he looks like a cop.”

EMPATHY [Easy: Success] - She’s still waiting for an explanation from you.

1. “No, you’ve convinced me. He’s definitely a cop and we’re both going to juvie.”
2. “My dear, sweet, Legs, if you are implying that I am behind this visit from the Lanky Binos’ Militia…”
3. [Drama - Formidable] Conceive a gripping, three act tale of passion and deceit which explains entirely why there might be a Lanky Binoclard in the Cardiozone.

EMPATHY [Easy: Success] - And just like that, she has run out of patience.

LEGS THE FOURTH YEAR - “Alright, whatever. I’ll find out later.” Legs leaves your doorway at a slow jog, presumably heading off to the track.

EMPATHY [Medium: Success] - She’s kind of pissed at you for not telling her anything. She was playing it cool, but she was also definitely curious.

YOU - But there was nothing to tell her, because you genuinely have no idea why there might be some bino pig in your Cardiozone. 

1. [Logic: Godly] - Dig deep into the crevasses of your mind in search of any possible explanation for this supposed binoclard’s presence.
2. Leave Cardiozone HQ and investigate for yourself. 

LOGIC [Godly: Failure] - You genuinely have no idea who this man might be, let alone why he seems to be inhabiting the Cardiozone. 

HALF LIGHT [Medium: Failure] - He’s probably a fucking pedo.

LOGIC [Challenging : Success] - He’s probably not a pedo. He’s probably meant to be there, and you just forgot why.

1.  Leave Cardiozone HQ and investigate for yourself.

YOU - You stretch up from your desk, coffee mug still in hand, and head out of HQ.

PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT [Easy: Success] - Your body is a well oiled machine and you feel not even the slightest pang of discomfort as you get to your feet. God, it feels good to be 25.

PERCEPTION (SIGHT) [Trivial: Success] - Your mug is chipped on the rim, and printed on one side in a jovial green font are the words: I really wish this was vodka instead!

THE CARDIOZONE - If Cardiozone HQ is your kingdom, then the Cardiozone proper is your great colony. It is expansive and echoing; all high ceilings and squeaky, polished wood floors. It gives off an overwhelmingly beige vibe and it is beautiful.

Painted markings for various courts and track lengths cover the ground, weaving and intersecting in a beautiful dance of sweat and ligament injuries. There are no windows in this place, but a pair of double doors open out onto the track and field at the back of the school. It is currently the middle of summer, so those doors will be wide open all day today, lest the Cardiozone quickly devolve into the Hyperthermia-zone.

PERCEPTION (SOUND) [Easy: Success] - From outside, you can hear the distant cries of children playing before classes begin.

PERCEPTION (SIGHT) [Trivial: Success] - And there is a lanky bino in the Cardiozone.

THE LANKY BINOCLARD - He has picked out a corner to set up camp; borrowed a small fold-out table that has been covered in stacks of documents or papers. He’s currently rifling around in a large satchel on the ground and doesn’t yet notice you approaching.

His outfit consists of a black short sleeve t-shirt and dark, belted jeans that are folded up over a pair of combat boots. You can see why Legs thought he was an undercover, because he’s dressed so inconspicuously that it definitely reads as suspicious.

EMPATHY [Impossible: Failure] - It is utterly impossible to read into who this man is, professionally or personally, based on what he is wearing. 

THE LANKY BINOCLARD - As you get closer to him, you notice he is probably around your age, perhaps slightly younger. He has a head of soft black hair, uniformly cut but with a slight fringe at the front. 

He is definitely lanky, and he’s definitely a bino.  

YOU - Wait, is that really what I’m going with? The Lanky Binoclard ? Isn’t that… not very nice?

ENDURANCE [Easy: Success] - He’s obviously a nerd. And nerds need to be reminded that they’re nerds at every possible opportunity.

AUTHORITY [Medium: Success] - He’s in your territory. You should make sure he knows who’s in charge here by calling him bino to his face.

1. Fair enough. The Lanky Binoclard it is.
2. Perhaps we could go for something less mean? ‘The Mysterious Stranger’?
3. [Inland Empire - Impossible] Find out what his name is by staring at him intently. 
4. [Conceptualisation - Formidable] Devise an incredibly witty and thoughtful name for the man before you.

INLAND EMPIRE [Impossible: Failure] - One day, his name might come more easily to you than your own. For now, your name is Harry; you don’t know his. 

The more you stare, however, you can see where creases and soft wrinkles might one day mark his expression: his eyes and his brow. You can see the tide of his hairline slowly drawing back from his face. Then you blink, and he is a young man once more.

1. He is The Lanky Binoclard. Final answer.
2. Perhaps we could go for something more flattering? ‘The Mysterious Stranger’?
3. [Conceptualisation - Formidable] Devise an incredibly witty and thoughtful name for the man before you.

YOU - He is now The Mysterious Stranger. You’ve gone through a lot of emotional development since the whole Lanky Binoclard thing. You’re not the same person any more.

VOLITION [Easy: Success] - Congratulations on not being a completely irredeemable asshole.

AUTHORITY [Medium: Failure] - This is going to be a slippery slope into submission. Mark my words.

THE MYSTERIOUS STRANGER - He’s finally noticed that you’re there, after lifting his head from the satchel. Still hunched over, he looks up at you and blinks once behind large, square-rimmed glasses. Much like his attire, his eyes are dark and give nothing away.

ENDURANCE [Challenging: Failure] - You absolutely need to call this guy a bino right now or I can guarantee that you will die .

AUTHORITY - And if you die you’ll never get to call him a bino!

             1. [Composure : Medium] Resist the overwhelming urge to bully this man a little bit.

                          +1 Changed his nickname.

                           -2 Your muscles demand it!

             2. Just do it and get it over with.

COMPOSURE [Medium : Failure] - You try to keep your abundant alpha male instincts at bay but you simply cannot cage the beast. A sound arrives, unbidden.

YOU - “Baaaa…”

REACTION SPEED [Trivial : Success] - You smack a hand over your mouth before the rest of the word can seep past your lips.

THE MYSTERIOUS STRANGER - He blinks at you again and stands up straight. “Are you alright?”

YOU - You nod, hand still clamped over your face.

VOLITION: [Easy : Success] - Keep it there for a few more moments, just in case.

AUTHORITY - This is not over. We will call him a binoclard. At some point.

New task: Call The Mysterious Stranger a binoclard.

YOU - Once it feels safe to do so, you slowly remove your hand.

COMPOSURE: [Challenging: Success] And you take a sip of coffee. Nothing out of the ordinary here.

EMPATHY [Medium : Success] The flawless nonchalance of a coffee sip, despite what just happened. This has baffled him more than anything else so far. 

1. “So who exactly are you, mysterious bino? Wait, shit. Fuck.”
2. “It appears that you are in my Cardiozone.”
3. “Listen man, you mind if I start over?”

THE MYSTERIOUS STRANGER - His brows rise at that, and he looks around in a brief attempt to find what it is you’re referring to.

EMPATHY [Easy: Success] - He has no idea what you’re talking about, and he isn’t going to ask.

THE MYSTERIOUS STRANGER - “So, you must be Mr. Du Bois? Thank you for letting me use your gym over the next few days.”

HALF LIGHT [Medium: Failure] - Did you just fucking hear that? This bastard wants to take over the Cardiozone!

AUTHORITY [Easy: Success] - What did I say? Slippery slope.

THE MYSTERIOUS STRANGER - He holds out a hand for you to shake.

PERCEPTION [Challenging: Success] - His hand is smooth and pale, with long fingers and short, clean nails. For a moment you notice the suggestion of calluses on the palm of his hand. 

INTERFACING [Medium: Success] - They’re the palms of someone who works with tools a lot. 

PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT [Medium: Success] - No, no, look at his slender physique! He must be some kind of gymnast! 

              1. [Empathy: Legendary] Before I do anything, how does this guy see me?

                            -2 He's just so mysterious.

              2. “Are you a gymnast?” Glance at his hand.

              3. Shake his hand.

              4. Don’t shake his hand.

EMPATHY - It's a little difficult to tell- given his mysterious nature- what he sees when he looks at you. Some things are obvious, though.

It’s obvious that he sees a taller, more athletic young man: confidence in a tank top and lime green gym shorts. He also sees someone who either forgot, or hasn’t bothered, to shave this morning.

YOU - Um. Second one.

EMPATHY - The whole word vomit thing definitely threw him off, but somehow it doesn't seem to have much affected his overall first impression of you.

YOU - Which is?

EMPATHY [Legendary: Failure] - I honestly haven’t the faintest idea.

INLAND EMPIRE [Legendary: Success] - He sees the future. He just doesn't know it.

LOGIC [Medium: Success] - I think Empathy might be overthinking this. The stranger is clearly just intimidated by you.

EMPATHY - Maybe I am overthinking it. He's definitely in the realm of intimidation but there’s something…oh, I don’t know. Let’s just go with it for now. He is intimidated by you.

AUTHORITY - We could have told you that a lot sooner, if you’d listened to us about the bino thing.

1. “Are you a gymnast?” Glance at his hand.
2. Shake his hand.
3. Don’t shake his hand.

THE MYSTERIOUS STRANGER - He glances at his hand too, after you say that. “Hm? Oh, no. Nothing like that.”

PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT - Booooo.

THE MYSTERIOUS STRANGER - He folds his other arm behind his back and pushes his open palm slightly closer to you.

1. Shake his hand
2. Don’t shake his hand.

YOU - You’re not going to shake this guy’s hand, not when he’s just declared his intention to illegally occupy the Cardiozone. Instead you just take another sip of your coffee.

THE MYSTERIOUS STRANGER - You watch him slowly withdraw the calloused hand. “Alright then.”

PERCEPTION (SIGHT) [Challenging: Success] - He did a very good job at concealing a scowl, but a split-second twitch of his brow gave him away.

1. “Just to be clear, I didn’t shake your hand because I hate you. We are enemies now.”
2. “Look, you’re not using shit, buddy. This is my domain.” (Stare him into submission).
3. “I know you’re an undercover, I have eyes and ears everywhere. Go stick that greedy piggy snout in someone else’s Cardiozone.”
4. “Alright, I guess you can stay here. But stay the fuck out of Cardiozone HQ.”

THE MYSTERIOUS STRANGER - His brow furrows slightly, and he challenges your stony glare with one of his own. There is something incredibly unyielding about it- a silent strength to those dark, unusual eyes.

AUTHORITY [Impossible: Failure] - This is...not how someone looks at you when they are scared of you.

HALF LIGHT [Medium: Success] - But this is absolutely the part where you knock his teeth out.

LOGIC [Trivial: Success] - I know you know this, but you will get fired if you do that. No severance package, either.

EMPATHY - I still don’t know what that was we saw before, if not intimidation. But it’s pretty clear that he dislikes you now.

THE MYSTERIOUS STRANGER - “Is that so? Because I’ve been told that you already agreed to this arrangement.”

DRAMA [Challenging: Success] - He is being truthful, sire. Some filthy reprobate hath sold you down the river.

1. “Wait, who told you that?”
2. [Logic : Challenging] Try to remember when you might have given permission for this stranger to use the Cardiozone.
3. “Yeah right! Like I’d ever let a lanky bino like you come take over the Cardiozone!” (Stick your tongue out at him, like a child).
4. “Alright, alright, you can use it! Just stop staring into my soul, man!”

THE MYSTERIOUS STRANGER - “Directeur Brouder, of course.

              1. [Logic: Challenging] Try to remember when you might have given permission to let this stranger use the Cardiozone.

                           +2 Given a little hint.

              2. “Yeah right! Like I’d ever let a lanky bino like you come take over the Cardiozone!” (Stick your tongue out at him, like a child).

              3. “Alright, alright, you can use it! Just stop staring into my soul, man!”

LOGIC [Challenging: Success] - Nothing obvious comes to mind, but for some reason you find yourself thinking back to last week’s staff meeting...

YOU - You spent it’s hour long duration attempting to mentally devise a new, hardcore workout routine that would hopefully employ both the reverse crunch and the hand slide crunch. For yourself, not for the kids.

OL’ BROODY - “Alright, I think that more or less covers everything. Harry, you’re definitely happy to let them use the gym for a few days?”

YOU - You didn’t want to admit that you weren’t listening. “Oh, yeah, absolutely, Broody. I’m peachy.”

You barely even registered the conversation, and now your punishment has arrived in the form of this dark, slightly imposing stranger..

1. “Well, then I guess I have to let you stay. It is the honourable thing to do.” Nod solemnly and accept your fate.
2. “I didn’t agree to shit! Ol’ Broody tricked me into giving you the Cardiozone!”
3. “That’s right, I totally remember. I just changed my mind. Now fuck off.”

THE MYSTERIOUS STRANGER - You see further tension build in his brow, but then all at once it escapes from him in a long sigh. His eyes flutter closed for a moment. “Fine. Alright. You were tricked... ”

EMPATHY [Easy: Success] - He doesn’t actually believe you, it’s just that he also doesn’t want to get drawn into some petty argument.

RHETORIC [Challenging: Failure] - You, on the other hand, could totally go for some petty argument action. If you’re looking for a chance to call him bino, it’s now.

THE MYSTERIOUS STRANGER - “Does that mean you don’t know who I am?”

1. “Of course I do. You’re The Mysterious Stranger.”
2. “Of course I do. You’re The Lanky Binoclard.”
3. “Of course I do. You’re an asshole.”
4. “Not that I really care, but I’ve literally been trying to work that out this whole time.”

THE MYSTERIOUS STRANGER - “Alright.” Suddenly he’s dipping into a pocket on the side of his satchel and retrieving a small brown wallet from inside. He folds it open and holds it out for you to inspect. 

“My name is Kim Kitsuragi, I’m a Juvenile Officer with the RCM. I’m going to be holding a number of informational workshops for your students here- they’ll be replacing your classes over the next few days.”

EMPATHY [Formidable: Success] - You almost think you’re imagining it but, no, you definitely see a glint of superiority in his eye.

RHETORIC [Medium: Success] - He thinks he’s got you with that whole ‘Suprise! I’m a cop!’ move.

YOU - Wait, he really was a cop this whole time? Damn. Who would have thought?

AUTHORITY [Challenging: Success] - A cop he may be, but he’s still on your land.

1. [Perception: Trivial] - Take a look at whatever it is he’s showing you.
2. “Actually, we don’t recognise the authority of the RCM here. The Cardiozone is an anarchic state.” 
3. “So what you’re telling me right now is that you’re a professional snitch.”
4. Just shrug, because you’re too cool to care about who is or isn’t a cop.

PERCEPTION (SIGHT) [Trivial: Success] - What he’s showing you is his badge. It’s blue, and encased behind the plastic of this protective wallet. Judging from the information displayed, everything he just told you about himself is true. His name is Kim Kitsuragi, and he is with the RCM.

There is a photograph of him displayed in the top left corner of the badge. It is utterly identical to how he appears before you in real life.

LOGIC [Medium: Success] - It means that this is a new badge. Combined with his apparent youth, you can safely assume he hasn’t been with the RCM for very long.

YOU - Once you’re finished looking at it, you hand him back his badge. 

KIM KITSURAGI - He keeps it in his hand for now. He’s waiting for a response before he starts fiddling with his satchel pockets again.

1. “Actually, we don’t recognise the authority of the RCM here. The Cardiozone is what you might call an anarchic state.”
2. “So what you’re telling me right now is that you’re a professional snitch.”
3. “A newbie, huh? They didn’t warn you about fucking with people like me in your training?
4. Just shrug, because you’re too cool to care about who is or isn’t a cop.

KIM KITSURAGI - “That’s right. I’m here to teach the children some modern snitching techniques.”

YOU - That was actually kind of funny. You might even have laughed if you hadn’t already decided that you dislike him.

EMPATHY [Trivial: Success] - He’s smirking. It was supposed to be funny, but only in order to take the power out of your attempted insult. 

1.  “Actually, we don’t recognise the authority of the RCM here. The Cardiozone is an anarchic state.” 
2. “A newbie, huh? They didn’t warn you about fucking with people like me in your training?
3. Just shrug, because you’re too cool to care about who is or isn’t a cop.
4. “Just tell me exactly how long I have to put up with you.” (Move on).

KIM KITSURAGI - “Three days and we’ll never have to see each other again.” He finally puts away his badge and then begins to neaten the piles of documents he has set up.

PERCEPTION [Easy: Success] - Now that you’re closer you can see what they are: anti-drug pamphlets and worksheets that he probably intends for the kids to fill out during his workshops.

ELECTROCHEMISTRY - Real narcy shit.

PERCEPTION - One of the questions on the worksheet reads: ‘Have you ever done something bad? How did that make you feel?’

YOU - The fourth years are going to have a field day with that one. 

KIM KITSURAGI - “If I can be frank with you, Mr. Du Bois, I’m surprised that you’re being so hostile here. I thought you might have appreciated a few days off from coaching.” He looks at you over the rim of his glasses for a moment.

1. “You don’t understand, Officer. Coaching is my life. You’re taking away everything I have.”
2. “It’s not Mr. Du Bois, it’s The Doobie.”
3. “Well aren’t you just a real... fucker?”

KIM KITSURAGI - “Yes, well, I’m not going to call you that.”

AUTHORITY [Impossible: Failure] - Can he do that?! He can’t do that, right?

HALF LIGHT [Medium: Success] - Fuck the job, you can just get another one. HIT. HIM.

VOLITION - Harry, just so you know, I’m not going to be able to justify you punching a cop in the face.

              1. [Half Light: Godly] - Time to punch a cop in the face! 

              2. [Composure: Legendary] - Retreat to Cardiozone HQ in a cool guy sort of way, to show how much you don’t care, actually. 

                            -2 You really do, though.

              3. [Reaction Speed: Medium] - Knock over his stacks of documents and run. 

COMPOSURE [Legendary: Failure] - It’s kind of hard to act like you don’t care because you actually, really do. In fact, you kind of want to cry.

You manage to keep the tears at bay, though, and without another word you stomp back off to Cardiozone HQ to lick your wounds. Of course, you slam the door shut behind you too. Like a big, grouchy musclebaby.

EMPATHY [Easy : Failure] - He won’t call you Doobie, but he might call you Musclebaby?

CONCEPTUALISATION - Cheer up, Harry. Musclebaby is totally your boxer name.